Muv-Luv: Advent
by chan-ser
Summary: Shirogane Takeru, believing himself free from the shackles of the Causality Conductor, finds himself thrust back into the throes of the Alternative universe yet again. As the traumas of the past futures continue to haunt him, he struggles in his search for true salvation in the form of the real Causality Conductor. But is it salvation that awaits him in the end?
1. Chapter 0

**Chapter 1: Chapter 0**

* * *

 **Foreword**

* * *

Thank you for taking the chance to read my rendition of the sequel to Muv-Luv Alternative.

Before we begin, I'd like to point out the following so that you may know what to expect:

This story is written in a POV format, which means that each episode is seen from a particular character's point of view. While I will try my best to capture the Alternative universe in the eyes of different characters, I think it's important that I highlight that, because of this format, there are three things to keep in mind:

Firstly – that these are chronicles of a person's thoughts. Unlike a real story, the narrator is simply 'thinking' as the events around them take place. As such, a lot of the sentences are fragmented, sometimes jumbled and incoherent—contrary to the formal literary style of a normal story. Line breaks and ellipsis are liberally used to denote pauses and pacing of the character's mindset. This format is on purpose. That said—don't read this like a story, but rather like a journal/diary. If you're coming from the Visual Novel (I hope you are, or else none of this would make sense!), this would be very similar in nature.

Secondly – because these entries are an observation of what the narrator sees, don't take the viewer's thoughts and opinions as ABSOLUTE fact. Because,

'Perception is reality'

Like in real life, the things I observe around me are my reality, just as your observations are your reality. In this story, whenever a character makes an assumption based on what they notice, take their assumption with a grain of salt. For example, Sakaki Chizuru can look at Shirogane Takeru's confused face and assume that he's ogling at her, when the reality is that Takeru is seeing visions of past worlds with Chizuru. However, in Chizuru's point of view, that is what she observes and that is her perception, and thus her reality, so that is what appears in her inner thoughts.

Finally – since there are different characters with different POVs, some observations of the world around them will not be exactly the same as another character's, as there will be chapters where two characters will share the same scene, but viewed from their POV.

As an example, someone who sees Takeru every day will not have the need to mention his brown hair, but someone who meets Takeru for the very first time will point it out in their mind as they instill his description into their memories. Even another example would be that character X sees the colour red, while character Y sees it as dark orange.

Also keep in mind that memories are not always accurate. Think of ML Extra, where Takeru just couldn't remember if it was Meiya or Sumika he kept playing with in the playground. So, a character going through the same scene from his/her POV may have a different recollection of the happenings in that scene. A small example would be character X says 'Hello' but character Y's POV remembers it as 'Hi'.

Yet another factor might be that their sense of time is different (time is relative, eg. time flies when you're having fun), so other events might be taking place while they're immersed in their thoughts.

Lastly, there are things that only you, as the reader, will realize. For example, Takeru's growth wouldn't be something he'd notice and point out himself, but as the reader, you would notice the difference in his thoughts and actions by comparing them to your existing knowledge.

I will try to keep each character's useless thoughts and reflections to a minimum, but one of the charms I miss from Muv-Luv is that the little things, usually taken for granted, are what deserve to be cherished the most.

 _PS: Due to the format, this story is best viewed on the mobile app. If unavailable, perform the following adjustments to your desktop reader (found just underneath the story summary) for the best reading experience: Decrease story width to 3/4 or 1/2, Tighten line spacing, Increase font size as you see fit._

Enjoy.

* * *

 **Prologue**

* * *

 _'I did love you, Takeru... see... you... later...'  
_ Were the last words I heard as I faded away. The figure that said them was difficult to recognize.

It wouldn't be entirely accurate to describe this sensation as 'fading away'.  
If you imagine that our eyes are like TV screens, our brain is really just watching a movie of our life.

I've reached a transition slide, and it happened within the blink of an eye, so an entirely different scene is now in front of me.

 _'...a tunnel?'_

While I study my new surroundings, a strong force pulls me into what I believe to be a tunnel.  
This must be what swimming in the rapids is like—only I'm not surrounded by water.  
Yet the current that's pulling me is as real as my beating heart; I could tell it'd be useless to go against its flow.

Left with no choice, I might as well enjoy the view until this ride is over.

However—there isn't exactly a view in here (wherever _'here'_ is).  
Right now, the only thing in here is this tunnel, and the only thing in this tunnel is me.

I'm floating on nothing, yet _nothing_ is carrying me away.

 _'Where am I?'_ I think to myself.

...

 _'Oh_ — _that's right.'_

I've lost my sense of time ever since I arrived, so I'm not sure how fast or slow these events have been taking place.

But just before all this, I watched Yuuko-sensei and Kasumi saying goodbye.

 _'I loved you, Takeru...'_

That was from Kasumi.

It's—slowly coming back to me.

We destroyed it.

The Original Hive.

And I'm no longer a Causality Conductor.  
So I should be going home now, according to Yuuko-sensei.

 _'Are you watching me at this moment, even in this place, Kasumi?'  
_ I ask to no one in particular.

Yeah—my memory grows clearer by the minute.

It was finally over, wasn't it?  
I left that world with a chance at victory, with a hope for freedom.

I left it with a future.

You caught me off-guard with that abrupt confession, Kasumi.  
So please accept the only gift I could leave for you in return.

 _'But I'm sorry for not making more memories with you like I promised.'_

I just want to return to my old world now. I deserve as much.  
Anyone should deserve as much, if they've gone through what I have.

 _'How selfish of me, right, Kasumi?'_

I apologize to someone who isn't here, not knowing exactly what for.

...

This tunnel, this—place.

As I inspect it more closely, I'm convinced I've been here before.

Not just once, either.  
It must've been several times, if my memories serve me correctly.

This tunnel... is the Causality Conductor.

The physical manifestation of the pipeline where information flows between the worlds.

Yuuko-sensei mentioned the existence of something of the sort.  
The way she described it... I thought it'd look... more... sophisticated... than this...

But that must explain why more and more of my memories are coming back to me as I go through the tunnel.

 _Su...mi...ka...?_

Each of the memories feels fresh even as I pick them up, piece by piece.  
Every memory, and every emotion it comes with—it feels like I'm experiencing them for the first time all over again.

 _Meiya..._

The Earths... the peoples... the events...  
Fear, anger, despair, love, kindness, hope, frustration, joy, relief—  
It _all_ floods into me.

And as it does, I feel... more... _wholesome_...

 _Tama_...

 _'Hmmm...'_

Looking closer, this tunnel is starting to resemble a library somehow.

Even I, someone who doesn't spend time in libraries, know what it looks like inside one.

Outlines of shelves filled with books take shape on the walls of the tunnel, each book representing a piece of memory.

There must be thousands—no, several hundred thousands of these.

Are all these books mine, from every loop, every lifetime, I've ever been through?

 _Mikoto_...

I try pulling on the first book within my reach, but it doesn't move.  
In fact—none of them would so much as budge.

And there was one other thing that bothered me.

 _'Huh, some shelves have empty slots.'_

I hadn't noticed that until now.  
I wouldn't have even noticed it if it wasn't for a book that materialized to fill the empty slot when I passed it by.  
Come to think of it, these shelves didn't have as many books the last time I was here.

 _Class Rep_...

Now that I've noticed it, all the other empty slots have become more obvious to me.  
New books appear out of thin air to occupy the blank spaces as I continue through the tunnel.  
Before I could find reason for this strange phenomenon, a thought disrupts my inner monologue.

 _Ayamine_...

That's right—once I return to that world, I will have no proof the world I left behind ever existed.  
Even if I tell anyone about it, they'd think I'm nuts and probably admit me into an insane asylum.

 _First Lt. Munakata and Second Lt. Kazama_...

My old world can't even fathom the existence of another Earth—one living under the oppression of aliens such as BETA.  
Their carefree, clueless, everyday lives will carry on.

 _'Tsk,'_ I click my tongue.

 _First Lts. Hayase and Suzumiya_...

My body shudders a bit at the thought.

 _'But that's how it should be,'_ I decide.

After all, I fought to destroy the BETA at home so that humanity can live with the same freedom as my old world.

 _Capt. Isumi and Second Lt. Kashiwagi_...

This whole world, and everyone in it—  
The only proof it ever existed is in the memories in front of me, in this tunnel.

Right here—in this library.

My right hand unintentionally stirs to rest on top of my chest, feeling for a heartbeat.

 _'No,'_ for some reason, I loudly declare.

 _'Our memories are permanently etched in this heart,  
Your names will still be whispered, although you are far.  
Even when no one else believes my story of you,  
You shall forever live on in Shirogane Takeru.'_

After all, people never truly die until our memories of them are forgotten.  
Isn't that right, Capt. Isumi?

...

...

...

 _'Hahaha,'_ I chuckle lightly.

That was a terrible poem; not to mention cheesy.  
Did I really come up with that?  
I can't believe I recited that out loud!  
It's a good thing no one else is here, or else I'd die of embarrassment.

This must be proof that I've grown up, if only by a little bit.

A sigh heaves out of my chest.

The old me would never say something so—ridiculous.  
But even as I think all that, my palm lightly clenches my heart, as if afraid to let go.

 _Marimo-chan..._

 _'Wait, wait, wait–!'_

All this time, I've been telling myself something wrong...

Something...  
Very wrong...

Hoping it would help, I shake my head to sort out the thoughts in my mind.

Since when did _'home'_ become _'this world'_?  
That's not it!  
The home I'm going to is _'that world'_ , not _'this world'_!  
And when did home become _'that'_ world?

How can I forget where I truly belong?

I shift my body position so that I'm lying down, then I form a cross with my arms to cover my face.

I'm exhausted, I just want... to finally... rest...

Still—the tunnel kept flowing, and the memories kept pouring in.

 _'Am I bringing all these memories with me?'  
_ The worry pops into my head.

I've heard of cases where people wake up from a coma and claim to have lived an entirely different lifetime in their slumber.  
I imagine they'd have an extraordinary tale to share upon waking up.

But wouldn't it be depressing to wake up and realize that it was all just a fantasy? A dream sequence?

That the life they lived was fake and without purpose?

After spending so much time in this world, this is the only life I've ever known of...

 _'Will I be able to truly live a normal life if I bring all my memories with me?'  
'I wonder what kind of world I'm headed for.'  
'Will everyone I know still be alive there?'  
'What if I miss my stop and end up in a completely different world_— _'_

 _'I'll always... be watching you... Takeru... no matter what world you're in...'_

But I had no time to find out where that voice came from.  
A more urgent matter demands my attention.

 _'Huh? My... hands? They're gone?_  
 _My arms—they're... vanishing?  
My legs, they're not there either!'_

What's happening?

Part by part.  
Piece by piece.  
My body has been painlessly deconstructing without my notice.

This is bad!  
I have to stop this.

Am I—dying?  
After all that I've been through, I don't want to die like this!

 _'...!'_

The end of the tunnel, I can see it.  
I just have... to get... a little closer...

Faster...

Just a little further...

 _'Home... I just want to go home—!'_

But my voice trails off, and a different sound takes its place.

 _'Haha. Hahaha. Hahahaha,'  
_ My maniacal laugh resonates throughout the seemingly endless echo chamber.

It's—hopeless.

No one can hear my cries for help in here.  
No one can help me even if they wanted to.

And just before the last of me disappears, a book takes form to fill the last empty slot in the tunnel...

* * *

 _Revised: June 7, 2018_


	2. Prayers Left Unanswered

**Chapter 2 – Prayers Left Unanswered**

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

 _*deep gasp!*_

The noise of my heavy breathing brings life to this otherwise deathly silent room.

In the few minutes of struggling to catch my breath, I find myself sitting upright on a bed I've slept on several times, my eyes facing the ceiling.

Did I just wake up right now?  
For me to wake up, I must've been asleep in the first place.  
But I don't remember going to sleep.  
So I can't have woken up just now.

. . .

. . .

. . .

After a while, my breathing finally returns to normal.

My eyes remain fixed on the ceiling and the stench in the air permeates my nose as both organs strive to reacquaint themselves with once familiar sensations.

The bed underneath me is oddly shaped to the contours of my body.

 _'Am I in—my room?'_

The epiphany comes to me the second I recognize the drapes, the poster, study table, my chair, the mess on my floor, my radio, my books, my—everything!

Bliss has reared her beautiful face, and I unleash the biggest sigh of my life, letting myself fall back onto the bed.

 _'I've come home.'_

I had my doubts at first—about Yuuko-sensei's theories and hypotheses.

 _'I'm home!'_

None of those matter to me now!  
A wave of euphoria envelops me, I can't think of anything but.

I pinch the skin on my forearms to double-check and make damn certain I wasn't in a dream.  
Harder and harder and harder I pinched until I can no longer stand the sting and had to let go.

The pain is real; this fresh bruise tells me so.  
My room is real.

I cover my face to contain the mad laughter that I could feel was about to erupt.

 _Finally._

. . .

. . .

. . .

Just by the window, the first rays of day can be seen creeping through the glass.

It must still be early in the morn.  
Later, Sumika will make her way over here to wake me, leaving behind the usual ruckus in her trail.

I get the idea to turn the tables on her this morning.

That's right! I'll give her an early morning surprise!  
I can't wait to see the look on her face!

Or is it her face I can't wait to see?

What kind of face will she make, I wonder.  
I've seen her face so many times, and she can be very expressive, so there are a lot of possible faces she might make at me.

I'll settle for an angry one. I think I'm better able to handle the tantrums now.

Giggling and impressed at my own deviousness, I don my uniform and hastily run to Sumika's place.

But my euphoria was destined to be short-lived.

If only I wasn't so excited, I wouldn't have failed to notice the wreckage in the living room, or in the dining room, or even in my own room as the door closed behind me.

 _'This can't be right...'_

My head starts pounding as I warily step towards _it_.

This... this must be a nightmare.  
I must still be asleep.

But—in mockery, the purple bruise on my arm reminds me of the contrary.

I have to be a victim of some joke... a sick, twisted, vile, convoluted, demonic joke.

I can feel my blood curdle.  
My fingers won't stop shaking.  
My pulse is racing,  
And I'm having trouble breathing.

With the gravity of the situation sinking in, the picture in front my eyes slowly comes into focus.

The picture is the exact same scene I've run into countless times past.

Sumika's battered house.  
The crashed Gekishin.  
The desolate and barren neighbourhood.

 _'This can't be happening to me...'_

I'm certain I finished it—this loop should no longer exist!

 _'I THOUGHT WE FIXED IT, KASUMI?!'_  
I yell at the top of my lungs.

 _'AAAGGGHHH!'_  
I roar until I run out of breath.  
I scream to whoever will listen to my desperate prayer.

 _'No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!'_

I race back to my room, dreading what I already know I'd find.

 _'It was just there. I was just laying on it, only a moment ago.'_  
I stand by my door, or whatever was left of it, stunned.

My finger is pointing at a bed that should've been there...  
At a room that was just here...

As if it was reaching.  
For what was so close in distance.  
Yet so far from reality...

I run once more—this time to Sumika's place.  
Ignoring all the rubble and obstacles in my way, my vision tunneled only on Sumika.

The doors to her house are unlocked.  
The door to her room, however, is not.

Please be in here...

 _'SUMIKA?! SUMIKA! THE DOOR! PLEASE OPEN THIS DOOR!'_  
I yell out loud while my fist hammers on the door.

I don't have time for this!

Throwing all my weight into my right heel, I kick the door down.  
But it doesn't give in so easily.

It takes four kicks for the door to finally cave in.

 _'Sumika?'_ I call her name, carefully surveying every inch of her room.

It's just as I dreaded—there's no one in here to answer me back.

Her diary lies on the ground—no, diaries.  
I say diaries because there are several of them, all scattered over the floor.  
This room is in terrible shape, yet the diaries remain in good condition.

But I came here not for the nostalgia.

My legs do the only thing my mind can think of.  
I run once again.

I run as fast as my feet will take me.  
I run until my ears start ringing.  
I run even as I trip and fall on the stones in the grounds.

I run looking for deliverance.

I run towards Hakuryou High School.

No—I'm running towards the hell known as Yokohama Base.

* * *

 _Revised: June 7, 2018_


	3. The Prodigal Saint

**Chapter 3 – The Prodigal Saint**

* * *

 **Yuuko**

* * *

My, my. What kind of mess is it this time?

Being called out this early in the day can be terribly vexing.  
How am I supposed to ever complete my research if my fans keep raising a commotion?

I can't help it if I'm so popular.

This boy is lucky my research is at an impasse for now.

Of course—I'm Kouzuki Yuuko, genius extraordinaire.

I'm simply taking a break, that's all.  
Even I need a little bit of entertainment from time to time.

 _'Leave him on the couch.'_  
 _'Make sure he's unarmed.'_  
 _'No, don't bother with handcuffs.'_  
 _'You can all leave.'_  
 _'I can protect myself.'_

I nonchalantly give these orders to the MPs who brought in the unconscious body of the boy who asked for me.

The boy was strong enough to effortlessly push aside the security at the gate.  
I'm actually even more impressed now at the corporal who took him down, although I wish he hadn't knocked the boy out so we didn't have to waste time like this.

 _'Is this boy very brave, or just foolish,'_ I wonder.

They laid the body on the couch like I instructed.

As the door closes behind them, I slowly walk towards the boy who called himself Shirogane Takeru.

I don't have to search up his records; I've thoroughly studied it before, as part of my research.

The dead do not breathe, yet the one in front of me is doing just that.

The significance of his name should only be known to 00, Yashiro and me.  
Far as I'm concerned, the Shirogane Takeru that 00 keeps projecting to Yashiro is just another kid it grew up with.

A nobody.

And—it watched him die.

Hence, that should've been the last we'd hear of Shirogane Takeru.  
Yet here 'he' is.

So to satisfy my curiosity, I just had to see him for myself.

And after what he did to Yashiro—  
No, not now... I'll have to save my worries for later.

I feel the boy's facial features as he rests.

Anyone walking in on this might misinterpret it for a caress.  
Let them gossip—I care little for idle chitchat.

I don't fool around with younger men. Everyone knows that.

I'm objectively studying him.

 _'Of course! He's human, not a BETA spy!'_ I reassure myself...

This boy—he may look young, but the aura surrounding him is beyond his years.

The expressions on his face are hardened.  
It's a face that has lost its innocence and purity, and yet, why do I still detect a hint of kindness?

I pull back an eyelid and flash a light in to examine his cranial nerves.

Oh—has he been crying recently?  
How disappointing.

My fingers brush my hair back as the other hand frisks for what is underneath his dirtied white uniform.

His muscles are firm, his breathing is paced.  
He has the build of a seasoned soldier.

Actually, not even the older soldiers in this base would have such sculptured features.

I wonder what he meant when he was babbling on about being a Causality Conduit.

First of all—don't yell out a term like that so casually; not when everyone can hear you.

Secondly—well...  
I coined the phrase, and it only exists in my Quantum Causality Theory paper, so for someone his age to utter the term, let alone comprehend it, is unheard of.

 _'HELP ME, YUUKO-SENSEI! YUUKO-SENSEI!'_

I heard him yelling earlier, even from the track field.

Okay—maybe I wasn't _that_ far away. But his voice was _that_ powerful.

In fact, he may have alerted the entire base.  
I had to shut him up somehow. Rumours about a mysterious romance might surface if I hadn't.

If he claims to be a Causality Conduit, there is something I can do right now to confirm it for myself.

My fingers have been playing with the light strands of his hair for some time now.

So... what's your story, Shirogane Takeru?

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

My consciousness slowly returns to me and the blur retreats from my vision, but the back of my head is still throbbing.

I can't believe I didn't see the guard coming from the side.  
And he has one hell of a left hook.

I messed up.

They must've thrown me in the detention barracks because of that circus act I put on.

 _Just my luck..._

 _. . ._

 _. . ._

 _. . ._

 _Hmm?_

This pillow I'm lying on feels supple.  
As I stir myself awake, however, the pillow jerks out from underneath, so my head drops back to the bed.

Pardon me—I appear to be mistaken.  
I'm lying on a couch, not a bed.

I sit myself straight while soothing the back of my head.

 _Huh?_

The cold tiles I expected to be stepping on are nowhere to be found.  
Instead, a softer grassy feeling greets my shoes.

This steel blue carpet—and this eyesore of paper and plastic scattered in no discernible pattern...

This is undoubtedly Yuuko-sensei's office.

Still rubbing the back of my head, I say out loud,

 **(Takeru)**  
Good morning, Yuuko-sensei.

I wait for a response but my greeting hangs dry in the air.

My eyes dart to the front of the room.

There she is, sitting behind her desk.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I don't recall ever having any students.  
How does your head feel?

 **(Takeru)**  
Better now.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Do you know where you are?

 **(Takeru)**  
All too well, sensei.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I am not your sensei.

I can feel the tension in her voice.

Her eyes, like the colour of fire, inspect me from head to toe.  
I feel naked being the subject of her glare.

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I'm sorry. It's what I'm used to.

The throbbing has subsided at this point.  
I then furiously rub my hands together and place them on my cheeks for a few seconds in an attempt to calm down.

Wait—I don't see anything in here that resembles a pillow. What exactly was my head resting on?

 **(Yuuko)**  
You called for me, so start talking. I don't have the luxury of free time.

 _Ah—yes._  
Where do I even begin, though?

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei, I don't understand, but, I'm back where I started.  
You said if I could find out what made me a Causality Conduit and destroyed it, I could return... to my world... to my normal life.  
So why—why am I still here?!

I didn't mean to say the last part angrily, but my energy is recovering, and my passions are high.  
I need answers, and I needed them the moment I woke up in this world again.

 **(Yuuko)**  
—!

Yuuko-sensei covers herself with her pale lab coat, perhaps believing that by doing so, she could broaden the distance between us.

Her lips curve into a frown, and the flame in her eyes narrows in scrutiny.

This isn't good; I'm starting off too strongly and putting her on high alert.  
Right—last time, she held me at gunpoint, confusing me for a spy.

Even right now, I'm acting too familiar towards her.

I have to attend to her suspicions first. But—how?

 **(Takeru)**  
Please, let me start over.  
I... I'm from another world, but one day I woke up in this one—

It'll be nigh impossible to offer proof for my words.

Even as I listen to myself, my mind realizes how outrageous my story is.

The Game Guy in my room—I should've brought it with me.  
Its technology doesn't exist here, and showing it to her might make it more credible that I'm from a different world.

In my panic, I hadn't considered it until now.  
And it's too late to retrieve it.

There goes my last tangible evidence; I lost it before I even found it.

But in the back of my mind, I know... even that... will not be enough.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Continue.

She urges me onward.

 **(Takeru)**  
Understood.  
My name is Shirogane Takeru, and I know you as Kouzuki Yuuko-sensei.  
I was a high-schooler, and you were my Physics teacher.  
The world I belong to is one without BETA.

 **(Yuuko)**  
...without BETA?

I have been here for so long, even I sometimes find such a world to be unthinkable now.

 **(Takeru)**  
But I've been trapped in this world for as long as I can remember.  
It all begins in my room. In my house.  
In this world, you'll find nothing in it now but dirt.  
But every time I die, I wake up in that room on the morning of today, October 22.  
And each time, I come here to Yokohama Base, to live, to fight, and to die against the BETA all over again.  
I can keep the memories of my past loops.  
However, it takes a significant event for me to remember it entirely.  
Otherwise, I have to die several times to retain the fainter memories.

 **(Yuuko)**  
. . .

She's listening attentively so far.  
Occasionally, I can see her close her eyes, as though she were recalling a difficult memory.

 **(Yuuko)**  
How many fingers?

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh_?

The question catches me off-guard.

 **(Yuuko)**  
How many fingers am I pointing?

I can't see either of her hands; they're both hidden underneath her desk.

 **(Takeru)**  
I... don't know?

 **(Yuuko)**  
Next time, the answer is eight.

I can't tell if she's being serious or messing with me.

 **(Yuuko)**  
If what you say is true, next time tell me I'm holding up eight fingers.  
I should believe you a little more.  
My answer will always be eight.  
Haven't you ever prepared questions for if you ever meet a time traveler?  
How does your favourite TV show end?  
Who ends up being your lover?  
When and how do you die?  
I just told you mine.  
If they couldn't answer a simple question like that, wouldn't it be difficult to believe they're from the future?  
Of course, there are risks. Anyone can make a lucky guess, after all.

So that's what she means. I've never thought of doing that.

She sounded rather annoyed for having to explain such an obvious scenario.

Just where does she come up with these ideas? Ideas of meeting a time traveler?

Interesting as it may be, it has nothing to do with my predicament.  
And I have no desire for a 'next time'.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei, you told me that destroying what made me a Causality Conduit would release me from this loop and allow me to return to my old world without transmitting the causality information of this world.  
Unless I do so, the world I return to will eventually suffer the same fate as this world.  
In my previous loop, I defeated the BETA, and Kasumi and I found it.  
We found what made me the Causality Conductor.  
It should've ended right then, shouldn't it?  
I should've been sent home after that!

 **(Yuuko)**  
You say you defeated the BETA? How?

 _Nghh_.

She's ignoring everything else I had just said and only filtering the words she wants to hear.  
This was never going to be so simple.

 **(Takeru)**  
Alternative IV.  
You sent me and the remaining Special Task Force A-01 into Operation Cherry Blossom,  
a global assault on the Kashgar Hive.  
However, the only soldiers left were those of us from Squad 207-B.  
We were your best.  
Together with the Susanoo, we destroyed it.

These are highly classified code names, and I'm putting myself at risk by mentioning them, not knowing how she would react.

 **(Yuuko)**  
So you've seen the inside of the core...

Her fingers gently stroke her chin.

She's trying to hide her excitement—poorly, might I add, because I can still notice traces of it in her voice.

I have to get her back on track. This is not at all why I came here.

 **(Takeru)**  
Yes, we destroyed it...

Yuuko-sensei is absorbing all this information rather easily.

I've never seen her let her guard down like this.  
If she were with Kasumi, I'd understand.  
But alone, she's usually more skeptical.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei... The Causality Conductor, it didn't work.  
I need your help.  
Please... Save me...

I bury my head in frustration, knowing full well I shouldn't be showing weakness in front of her.

Yuuko-sensei is the type to use people.  
I can't afford to be manipulated. Not right now.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Have you any other proof of anything you just said?

 **(Takeru)**  
Only my words, which I'm sure is not good enough.

Not for her—I know that much.

I point a finger to the neighbouring room as I tell her,

 **(Takeru)**  
Kasumi is in the next room.  
Bring her over and have her read my mind.  
She'll tell you the truth.

 **(Yuuko)**  
No.

Comes her flat out rejection.  
She didn't even take any time to consider my offer.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh_? Is something the matter?

 **(Yuuko)**  
I thought you knew the future.

Her shoulders are shrugged, making apparent her annoyance.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shouldn't you be aware of what happened to Yashiro?  
She's in the infirmary at the moment.  
She was knocked unconscious and needs to rest.

 **(Takeru)**  
What? This... has never...  
What happened? Who would do that to her?

I can feel my fist clenching at the atrocity—

What kind of monster would hurt someone fragile like Kasumi?

 **(Yuuko)**  
That was _you_ , Shirogane. _You_ knocked down Yashiro.

* * *

 **Yuuko**

* * *

The weight of my words must've startled him, though I don't know why he has to make such a stupid face.

Just after they brought Shirogane's unconscious body into my office, I called Yashiro over to do exactly as he had suggested.

Were he a spy, he's an idiot for bringing so much attention to himself.  
Were he sent to kill me, Yashiro would find out and tell me.

So I asked her to read him and find out if a dead man truly appeared among us.

But as soon as Yashiro saw him, her eyes widened and she looked like she entered a trance.  
She slowly walked up to where he laid.

 _'The closer she is, the better she can read him,'_ I figured.

She stopped right next to him and just stood there, saying nothing the whole time.

Needless to say—I've never seen her act like this.

Yashiro reached out for his hand.

When she took hold of it, she froze and trembled.  
Then she let out a loud shriek.

Before I could get to Yashiro, her arm went limp, and she fell to the floor.

The emergency team got here quickly.  
They took her away, but not before Yashiro could say to me:

 _'It's him... Shirogane Takeru really came back...  
I must tell Takeru-san... I'm so... relieved...'_

Of course, I won't be telling him any of this, lest he gets too confident.

First—I need information. A lot of it.

 **(Takeru)**  
I... hurt... Kasumi?

 **(Yuuko)**  
No need for concern.  
She's physically unharmed.  
She just needs to rest a bit.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm glad to hear that. Please tell me when she's healthy again.

I can hear him sigh. His worry for Yashiro seems genuine.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei, do you... believe me?

A daring question. One that doesn't require the truth as of yet.

 **(Yuuko)**  
'Course not.  
I only just met you.  
Do I strike you as one who believes anything from people I just met?

I make my sarcasm clear in the form of a sneer.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I'm not that foolish.  
I need more information to decide for myself.

He keeps calling me sensei, and it's getting very irritating.

Now—

I wasn't lying about not believing him, even though I do believe him to some extent.  
I don't trust him, but I trust Yashiro, and Yashiro trusts him.

Also, he's been dumping highly classified information so casually ever since he started talking.  
Information not even known to the top ranking officials in this base.

But that in itself is not suspicious, if one believes his outlandish story.

Still—there remains an additional reason as to why I can believe him.  
A reason only I would understand.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Tell me what actions we took to defeat the BETA.  
And my research, how did I resolve it?

I press on with the important questions.

I have admittedly made no recent progress with the 00 Unit.  
I just can't seem to figure out a procedure to fit in the gargantuan amount of semiconductors required for the quantum computer's processor.

If this boy has the answer, maybe I can make use of him.

 **(Takeru)**  
But sensei—the Causality Conductor, I need to escape this prison—

How rude.

We're being overrun by the BETA, yet he keeps coming back to his selfish topic?

 **(Yuuko)**  
I'll only help you if you help me accomplish Alternative IV and defeat the BETA aga—

 **(Takeru)**  
—NO!

One hand covers my mouth to thwart the gasp escaping my lips.

I sense no malice in his reply, but the forcefulness of his sudden refusal had caught me unprepared.

 **(Yuuko)**  
You can't expect me to help you for free—

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei, I can't do it again.  
I'm sorry—but I can't go through it again, not anymore.

 **(Yuuko)**  
What're you talking about?  
Go through what? Explain yourself.

I ask with utmost sincerity.

 **(Takeru)**  
I've fought... and fought... and fought...  
All I've been doing is fighting for this world.  
Even when we finally won, I had to lose everything precious to me.  
Yet I forced myself forward...  
I forced myself to think I was only doing what was right,  
as long as we won and the world is saved.

I hold back the urge to interrupt him.  
Nothing but honesty can be felt in his voice.

 **(Takeru)**  
But everything I've done, sensei, I feel like it's all been for nothing.  
Even after defeating the BETA in my last loop,  
I realize that that is only one world out of the infinite ones out there.  
As long as I remain the Causality Conduit, everything I do is in vain.  
Do you know what it feels like, sensei, to finally reach your dream,  
only to wake up the next morning and find out that it was just that—a dream?  
For what purpose have I been fighting? For what purpose have I been suffering?  
I can't save every world I get sent to...  
I'm just one boy...

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shirogane—

I try to get a word in, but.

 **(Takeru)**  
Why, sensei? Why me? Why has it chosen me?  
What crime so grave have I committed that the universe has decided to imprison me like this for all eternity?  
Is this hell? Am I paying for my sins?  
I've given up everything for this world: my family, friends, and even my life.  
I've watched them die over and over and over and over and over again, and the universe has given me nothing in return.  
Nothing!  
Every time I go back, I feel like I lose a piece of my humanity.  
Soon I'll just be an empty shell.  
I might as well be a BETA.  
What else does the universe want from me?  
My life?  
Take it and keep it!  
My sanity?  
There's hardly any left!  
Take it.  
Take it.  
Take it all!  
Death is a relief at this point, even if it's only temporary.  
Yet I keep coming back.  
I'm not even allowed to stay dead.

Tears fall from his eyes as he spills out his heart, though I'm not sure if he's doing so on purpose.

He must've been holding this in for a long time.  
This sounds like it's the first he's been able to grieve this way.

This whole time I've been listening, and only now do I realize that I'm talking to a child.  
A seemingly innocent child.  
A child stripped from its innocence, forcefully matured out of necessity.

In the end, he is but a child.

And I have no use for a child.

The universe may have been unfair to him.  
But the universe picks no favourites.

Ask anyone in this world— _any_ of the worlds—with BETA.  
We've all been damned the moment we were born.

Because for every world Shirogane has allegedly died in, for every time he left behind a world lost to the BETA, that world's Yuuko must've died as well.

If he claims to have died thousands of times, thousands of Yuukos must've also met their demise.

So you see, Shirogane, you aren't the only one suffering.

But make no mistake—I will never roll over without putting up a fight.

. . .

. . .

. . .

How do I deal with this?

I'm not good at these humanly interactions.  
I have no experience consoling others.

No words of comfort come to mind for the boy whose spirit is in the pits of despair.

Marimo—you should've handled this. You're much better suited for this than I.

Unable to think of the right words, I decide to let my actions do the talking instead.

Taking the pistol hidden in my drawer, I walk up to Shirogane, and I hand him the gun.

He looks confused, as he should be.

 **(Yuuko)**  
If you seek death so much, here is your freedom.

 **(Takeru)**  
—?

 **(Yuuko)**  
You'd just loop back to this point in time anyway, right?  
And what will you do then?  
Will you take the gun again? Will you pull the trigger again?  
And then what?  
Will you keep crying and running for the rest of your pitiful existence?  
Is death that much better than living?  
Even if you choose death, this world will move on without you,  
and the people in it will continue fighting for our survival as a species,  
while you struggle for your selfish life.

Harsh words. I have no time to mollycoddle this child.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei, that's not wh—

 **(Yuuko)**  
Life is unfair; you aren't special in that respect.  
But whether you live to face its challenge, or die running from it,  
no one but you can decide the kind of man you'd be remembered for, Shirogane.

I pause for a moment and close my eyes, and in a gentler voice this time, I say to him,

 **(Yuuko)**  
You're strong, Shirogane.  
All the Yuukos you've ever interacted with seem to think so.  
That must be why they relied on you a great deal.

I decide to bring this up right now.

According to my Quantum Causality Theory, all the memories from the other worlds flow through the pipeline that is the Causality Conductor.  
And I've been standing near one for some time now.

Earlier, I got as close to his unconscious body as I could, even letting him lie on my lap until he woke, just to see if I could receive the memories of the other worlds' Yuukos.

And I've seen them.

I only catch glimpses—but that's more than I need.

Because the longer I am near him, the clearer they become.

This is the final line of proof I've been relying on.

This is how Kouzuki Yuuko can believe the story of Shirogane Takeru.

 **(Yuuko)**  
So whatever you decide, make it quick.  
I have to get back to work, and all this time would be a waste if you decide not to help me.

He's been intently studying the gun while listening this whole time.  
But he hasn't made any movements thus far.

If he were still a spy, this would be the perfect opportunity to kill me and end Alternative IV.

He can't kill me, though.  
Not even if he wanted to.

I may have gambled by giving him the gun, but I don't place losing bets.  
My confidence, and hope, is not unfounded.

 **(Takeru)**  
What should I do, sensei?

 **(Yuuko)**  
The one thing you say you have done many times before.  
Live. Again.  
Fight. Again.  
Defeat the BETA once again.  
Play the role of the saviour you claim to be.

He may have no sense of attachment to this world.  
This world isn't his own, after all.

But it makes little difference to me.

If he really is a saviour, then I have to do everything in my power to make him save _this_ world.

Even if it means making promises I can't keep.  
Even if it means lying to him.  
Even if it means killing for him.

Because this is the world _I_ live in.  
I will do _anything_... and _everything_... if it means I can preserve it.

 **(Yuuko)**  
If you do, I'll help you with the Causality Conductor,  
and I'll help bring an end to your curse.  
Or—blessing, if you decide to see it that way.

He does have a form of immortality that some people would (ironically) die for.

Even I have some mistakes in the past I would like to correct.

But I wouldn't wish his immortality for anything; not after I've seen the consequences.

 **(Takeru)**  
Haven't you been listening at all?  
How can you still call it a blessing—?

I snap him off before he could finish his sentence,

 **(Yuuko)**  
I promise you, that this time around, in this world, I'll find it for you.  
I'll help you escape this confinement of space and time.

I have no idea if I can fulfill such a tall order.

This is a promise I'm not sure I can keep, but it's the one I have to make.

How does one even find a Causality Conductor?  
It is impossible.

Just... _impossible_.

Howbeit, it is _necessary_.  
Therefore— _I_ _must make it possible_.

Perhaps, this very moment, is the purpose for my own existence:  
To give birth to the world's saviour.

But he's not making it easy.

 **(Takeru)**  
But sensei, I just told you, I can't do it again—

Because he keeps returning to _this_.

No matter what he claims to have accomplished for the other worlds, it doesn't matter to this world. To _my_ world.

However, I keep this thought to myself.  
I don't intend to once again bring up the futility of his efforts.

Be that as it may, there is no time for patience for this childish behaviour.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Enough of that!  
You say you can save the remaining people on this Earth. And yet—  
Does that mean _nothing_ to you?!  
What is your suffering compared to all of theirs?!  
Your life... is just one... versus the lives... of one billion...  
What makes your life more important than all of theirs?!

My emotions got the better of me, and my voice rose louder than I had intended, but I can't believe how incredibly stubborn he's turning out to be.

 **(Takeru)**  
But, sensei...  
It's still... my life...

How... pathetic...

Is there not a natural response to a question like that?

If a prophet, or a deity, or a time traveler from the future appears in front of me, and tells me that if I were to die right here and right now, humanity could live in paradise, I should be able to take my own life right away...

Without further question...

Without hesitation...

Shouldn't... I?

 _Damn_...

I feel like a fool for mistaking him for a reckless saint...  
For a bratty saviour...

 **(Yuuko)**  
I won't claim to completely understand what you're going through, Shirogane,  
but if there is no convincing you, then our talk here is over.

I can't believe... I've lost—

 **(Takeru)  
** Do you realize,  
that you're asking me to watch my friends die again?

—Or have I?

 _'I've lost people I care about too,'_ I stop my reflexes from saying that in time.

That isn't an answer he needs to hear.  
So instead, I respond,

 **(Yuuko)**  
Yes.

 **(Takeru)**  
If they don't end up dying, you're asking _me_ to die.  
And you're asking them to watch me die.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Obviously.

I shrug my shoulders.

Was he expecting another answer?  
 _Is there_ another answer?

 **(Takeru)**  
Even from you, that's too much to ask...

There is no room for compassion in my line of work, not when the future of humanity is at stake.

As long as he's still listening, I place my last card on the table.

 **(Yuuko)**  
You still have the power to fix our worlds and all their branches if we find the Causality Conductor.  
Do you understand?  
Even if you haven't found it yet, it is still out there.  
If you can grasp that hope, you will find purpose.  
You, who are 'just one boy', can save our universe.

I can see him squirm where he sits.  
It is time to grow up, child.

 **(Yuuko)**  
You've watched your friends die in front of you. So what?  
Aren't they alive, in this world, right now?  
You've suffered tremendously just to get here. What of it?  
Are you not a stronger person because of it?  
To run away right now is to throw it all away.  
Your hard work and suffering would've been for nothing.  
Your friends' lives would've been for nothing—

 **(Takeru)**  
 _E... nough..._  
 _I... will... fight..._

I notice him say something, but I can barely make him out.  
He's talking to the floor, making it even more difficult to hear him.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Did you say something? Speak up.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'll fight, one last time.  
For everybody,  
and for their world—  
 _No, for my life. For my world._

His voice lowered to a whisper for the latter part so I failed to hear the words.  
But the former is the answer I want to hear, so I have no need for the rest anyway.

I let out a small sigh of relief.

 _Oops—damn_! I shouldn't have let him seen that!

Although, he could've easily done the opposite and taken the easy way out, so my sigh was bound to happen whether I wanted it or not.

If the memories I've received are any accurate, Shirogane has a crucial role to play in my plans.

 **(Takeru)**  
But sensei—

Oh? He isn't finished talking.

 **(Yuuko)**  
You have something else to say, Shirogane?

 **(Takeru)**  
You really are too soft.

In one swift expert motion, he has the pistol cocked and pointed directly at the space between my eyes.

Has he gone mad?

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shirogane? What do you think you're doing—?

 **(Takeru)**  
How did you expect me to shoot myself without any bullets?

 _*click*_

* * *

 _Revised: September 19, 2018_


	4. Broken Goods

**Chapter 4 – Broken Goods**

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

That was a cruel joke on my part.

Although I've never had to use them, I've held and shot guns like this several times before.  
I can feel the number of bullets by the gun's weight on my palm, and I was surprised to find out that this one had none.

How does Yuuko-sensei protect herself with an unloaded gun?  
Maybe she keeps the gun only for the feeling of security?  
Is the feeling more important than the real deal?

Still—Yuuko-sensei really is a softie, no matter how tough she appears on the outside.  
Even if she did have the bullets, my gut tells me she doesn't have the resolve to take the life of another.

. . .

. . .

. . .

I'm one to talk.

I will never hesitate when killing BETA, but I can't point a gun at a fellow human being.

. . .

I'm not entirely sure how we got to this point;  
I didn't intend for the conversation to turn out this way.

I lost control of myself and let out an outburst like that.

To Yuuko-sensei, of all people.

And the thought of suicide had never occurred to me until now, not until she brought this option to light.

 _'You can't erase a mistake by committing another,'_ I've always believed.

I've perished several times in past loops, and the manner of my death always escapes my memory.

That is—I can never remember exactly how I died.  
Yet, I am absolutely certain that none of those were caused by suicide.

Sure—I've run into hordes of BETA on my own, but that was out of a sense of heroism (or idiocy).  
Definitely not because I wished to die.

 **(Yuuko)**  
What a sick sense of humour you have, Shirogane.

That bountiful bosom of hers oscillates back and forth in sync with her delirious laughing.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sorry—

Luckily, the gentleman in me diverts my eyes in another direction.  
A few more seconds and I would have succumbed to that mesmerizing spectacle.

You shouldn't be acting so lightly.  
Someone just pointed a gun at you.

Well—I did, but still...  
What if I'd been an actual threat?

I'm not the one with a sick sense of humour.

I patiently wait for her laughter to die down.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Moving forward,  
I shall assign you to Squad 207-B under Sgt. Jinguuji Marimo.  
But from your reaction, I can assume you have an objection.

Damn right I do.

If I am to find the Causality Conductor, I have to act quickly, which means I should be taking the fastest course possible.

The sooner I defeat the BETA, the sooner I can focus on my predicament.

And maybe they won't ever have to fight.  
I'm sorry, everybody. But...

 **(Takeru)**  
If I may speak, sensei—

 **(Yuuko)**  
You don't have to be so formal with me.  
And I've a feeling there's no point in asking you to stop calling me sensei.

 **(Takeru)**  
Y–yes, of course.  
But I do have an objection.  
This isn't our best course of action.  
As I've told you, my priority is not with the BETA, but with the Causality Conductor.  
I've completed countless rounds of training.  
My mind may not remember it all,  
but my body does, so I need not go through more.  
A thorough test run in the simulators will prove that beyond a shadow of a doubt.  
It may be even best to place me in your STF squad right away.

I plant the suggestion in her mind.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Oh? You aren't in a position to make any demands.

She may not be aware of it yet, but I do have several bargaining chips on my side of the table.

The biggest one perhaps being the co-pilot of Susanoo.

We're on equal footing this time, Yuuko-sensei.  
I will not play the pawn.

 **(Takeru)**  
But sensei, my information of the future—does that hold no value to you?

I open up with the most obvious one.

 **(Yuuko)**  
We have yet to establish the accuracy of that statement.  
Even so, it's useless.

' _Useless_.'

Did I hear that correctly?  
Is she trying to bluff her way into manipulating me?

 **(Takeru)**  
How do you mean?

 **(Yuuko)**  
Even if you claim to have knowledge of the future,  
would it not be useless unless you take the same steps as the past?  
If you've always been in Training Squad 207-B,  
changing that and moving you to STF A-01 right now would bring in another future.  
Shirogane, have you been to that future?

She counters with a fair point.

No—I haven't seen the future she mentions.  
Or at least I have no recollection of it as of yet.

Regardless, it might be time to pursue a new tomorrow.

 **(Takeru)**  
I stand by my words.  
It may be best for me to forge a new path, even if it means not knowing what lies ahead.  
Place me in STF A-01, and grant me permission to search for the Causality Conductor as I please.  
In return, I will fulfill my mission in eliminating the BETA.

 **(Yuuko)**  
By not answering my question, you have answered my question.

Shit. I need something more convincing.  
I can't win this exchange if I skirt around every argument.

I pause to evaluate my thoughts for a proper rebuttal, but as I look up at Yuuko-sensei, she seems to be in the process of doing the same.

I abandon my own attempt in case I end up interrupting her concentration.  
She may be seriously considering my proposal after all.

In my head, a clock tick-tocks loudly, waiting for her response.

Finally, her sharp, bright eyes, previously concealed by her eyelids, make their appearance once again.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Didn't you say that 207-B turned out to be the best of the best of my soldiers?

 **(Takeru)**  
Yes, although I don't see how that'd be any different if I wasn't there—

She cuts me off mid-sentence.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Have you thought about how that came to be?

 **(Takeru)**  
I never thought there was a need for explanation.  
I know that they're extraordinary people, isn't that enough?

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Hmm._  
That isn't wrong, granted that their individual circumstances are quite—unique...  
But that isn't the entire truth either.

Yuuko-sensei holds back her tongue before continuing any further, teasing me with the suspense of her following words.

 **(Yuuko)**  
You said you've spent countless loops in this world,  
and I'm guessing you always ended up in 207.  
You've trained together, lived together, and fought together.  
Am I right so far?

I notice a sinister glint in the corner of her eye.

 **(Yuuko)**  
The reason they become the skilled soldiers you say they are  
is because they spend so much time with the Causality Conductor.  
Is it not the same for you?  
You remember your training and piloting skills,  
but only because you've honed them over several lifetimes.  
By accumulating them over every loop, those skills only get better and more refined.  
And you may not have noticed yourself as they become second nature to you,  
but do you not possess skills outside of training and piloting?

She smirks for reasons unbeknownst to me.

But now that she mentions it—  
I have clear memories of loops where I become more... intimate... with each member of the squad.

In the lifetime I spent with Meiya, she taught me the ways of the sword and how to carry myself with dignity.

With Tama, I learned archery, long distance shooting, and I also developed a fondness for cats.

Mikoto beat survival and first aid skills into my thick skull; I might've died the most times with her.

Class Rep taught me how to stay out of trouble. I guess I also learned how to lead and plan before I act.

Ayamine—I think she just beat me up all the time (out of affection—she insisted).  
We did all kinds of... wrestling... under the sheets...

 _Khh_ — _!_

I get a grip of myself before any more blood rushes to my cheeks.

 **(Takeru)**  
So are you saying, that not only am I retaining my own training,  
but the reason everyone else is,  
is because their own skills are being passed on to them by me, the Causality Conductor?

 **(Yuuko)**  
As long as they stay close to you—then yes, that is the fact of the matter.  
How many training hours or missions have you spent with my STF compared to 207?  
Can you say with certainty that the unit will get better with you in it sooner?  
Will Alternative IV be any more successful than it was before?  
From the sounds of it, 207 will benefit a great deal more from you than A-01.

The only training I've ever done with the STF is mock battles and hive infiltration simulations.

I can hardly say that my addition to the squadron will make them any better as pilots, if only for the sense of competition I bring with me.

That's right—they were amazing fighters to begin with.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shirogane, I've been observing you as we talk,  
but your body language seems to indicate that the issue isn't with placing you in A-01.

Can this woman see right through me?  
What body language is she talking about?

My fists unclench slowly, and I un-grit my teeth.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Correct me if I'm wrong.  
You're willing to join any other squadron, A-01 or otherwise,  
so long as it isn't 207-B.

I'm far too transparent.

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Hoh_ —I must've hit it where it hurts.

She's showing off the sly grin on her lips, perhaps thinking she's won this battle of wits.

But I'm not one to give in so easily.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei, when you said earlier that my knowledge of the future is useless unless I retrace the same steps, does that mean that I have no other choice but to allow the... _events_... of the future, to take place?

By events, I'm mostly talking about the deaths of my close friends...

I still haven't completely gotten over it...

I thought I had.  
But now that I'm faced with the reality of going through it all over again...

. . .

. . .

. . .

Don't judge me.  
Would you so willingly rewatch a video of the gruesome death of a person you know?

I didn't even get the chance to properly say farewell to Mikoto, Tama, Class Rep, and Ayamine.

 _'How unfair of them,'_ I recall...

They left me letters... and I can only leave them... for dead.

Sumika... she passed on without warning me...

And Meiya—in the end, it was I who pulled the trigger that sent her to her grave.

And it feels like it all happened only yesterday.

If it's as Yuuko-sensei says, and their deaths are unavoidable, I'd believed that if I could keep my distance this time as much as possible, then I wouldn't have the same attachment to them.

It's a childish wish, and I know that.  
I promised to stop running away, yet I still keep running.

I'm no use to Yuuko-sensei if that's all I'm good at doing.

 **(Yuuko)**  
You're a broken man, Shirogane.

Her flame-coloured eyes zoom in on me, and her grin grows even wider.

I'm powerless in this state—with my mind laid bare before her.

 **(Takeru)**  
Wha—?

 **(Yuuko)**  
But it's precisely because you are broken that you need to be fixed.  
If you were perfect to begin with,  
yours will be a boring story to read.

What's she going on about?

 **(Yuuko)**  
My order is sustained.  
You are to join Squad 207 under Marimo.  
If you are to be fixed, I've a feeling that's the place where the healing begins.

Unable to find a defense to such an unconventional line of argument, I'm left with no choice but to say...

 **(Takeru)**  
I... understand...

 **(Yuuko)**  
Don't look so down.  
Is your memory that terrible?

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh?_

 **(Yuuko)**  
You said so yourself earlier,  
 _'It may be best for me to forge a new path,  
even if it means not knowing what lies ahead.'_

She mockingly imitates my voice.  
That's not what I sound like...

 **(Yuuko)**  
I never said that you have to sit back and watch them die.  
Well—maybe I said you can if you wanted to.  
You really are heartless, do you know that?  
But of course, you can prevent anyone's death as you wish.  
In a way, you're like a god.

After all that, she deciphered my cryptic message...

But am I hearing this correctly?  
Is she saying what I think she's saying?

 **(Yuuko)**  
However, I must repeat—your knowledge of the future will be rendered useless unless it's a future you've been through before.  
Preventing someone's death is a significant change to make.  
By keeping them alive, you invite another future to take place—one whose causality information may be even more terrible than the first.  
And even if you were to save one person, you may not be able to save the others,  
and in fact, you may instead bring upon the death of someone entirely new.  
After all, the worlds strive to achieve a position of balance,  
and only death can pay for the price of life.  
Is one person's life worth more than another?  
Is saving one person's life worth the knowledge of the future?

I carefully ponder the possibilities in my head.

As long as I remain the Causality Conductor, the information from other worlds will continue to funnel through me.

If that information happens to be that this person _must_ die, preventing that from taking place will only transfer that death to _another_ person.

Someone whose life is of equal value to the world.

If I save one person from dying, the world will try to restore balance by taking the life of someone else instead.

Which means if I try to save—eleven...?

. . .

. . .

. . .

I stare at my hands.

My head struggles to wrap itself around the newfound power and authority that have been entrusted to these hands.

 _*deep sigh*_

When all is said and done—it's... pointless...

The lives lost of those I choose not to save...  
And the lives of those who have to die if I choose my friends' lives over theirs...

Their blood will be on me...

They may as well be murdered by my own two hands...

This must be what she means by playing god.

And... yet... what if?

 **(Takeru)**  
But from what you just said—can't I simply undo each of their deaths, one by one,  
until I reach a future where I can save them all?

This conversation has given me hope.

Ultimately, I value the lives of my friends more than the lives of those whom I'll probably never even meet.

I'm sorry, dear strangers.  
Just as much as you don't think of me, I can't allow myself to think too highly of you.

May you find consolation in never seeing the face of the person responsible for your demise...

Maybe there's a chance I can call this 'curse' a blessing, as Yuuko-sensei says.

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Hahahaha!_

Her dark magenta hair sways to the rhythm of her loud laugh.  
The cackle of a mad scientist—I just witnessed it.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Only you can talk like that, Shirogane.  
You speak as if you really were god.  
Sadly, not all of us have the same power of choosing our futures as you do.  
But to answer you: it's not as simple.  
There's no guarantee that you can loop back as you so please.

 **(Takeru)**  
But the Causality Conductor—

 **(Yuuko)  
** —has yet to be determined, according to you.  
So what happens if, by saving someone, you remove yourself as the Causality Conduit?  
If you die then without knowing, you may end up not in your room the next time.  
In fact—you may end up in the real hell instead!  
 _Hahahaha!_

Should I be glad that she's enjoying herself?  
I sincerely wonder why she finds amusement in all of this...

I close my eyes in thought and massage my forehead with the help of an index finger.

To be honest, I feel a little bit more relieved.

Everything she's been saying up until now has been too good to be true.  
And if it's too good to be true, it probably isn't, as the saying goes.

I feel a bit more human knowing that I can't just reset my life so easily.

Living every minute like it might be my last.

I never thought I'd miss the feeling.

More importantly, I don't know how many more loops I can withstand before I lose myself...

' _Resetting'_ my life is out of the question.

Hence, I came here with the resolve that I have to save my own life if I ever wish to bring an end to the Causality Conductor.  
But now that Yuuko-sensei has dangled the possibility of saving my friends' lives, my resolve has been shaken.

So easily.

How fickle-minded can one be?

In the end, whose life is more precious to me?

I'll have to make a decision, between my life, or the life of my friends.

And once made, I'll have to follow it through—until the very end.

Without turning back.

. . .

After laughing a while, her face turns serious.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I'm sure the other Yuukos have explained this to you, Shirogane.  
Those in STF A-01 are all potential candidates for the 00 Unit because of their ability to choose the best causality information for this world.

 **(Takeru)**  
Right—fortune tellers and palm readers have the same ability.

 **(Yuuko)**  
This means that if they died, it's because they were leading us to the best possible future.  
I admire your desire to save your friends.  
However—if you end up preventing us from that future, you'll turn out playing the devil instead.

Her tone shifted quickly.

Gone is the laughter in her voice.  
In comes the darkness as she offers me the choice.

She's speaking hurriedly now, probably trying to get rid of me.

 **(Yuuko)**  
We've talked enough for today.  
Get going—I'll soon be busy with all your paperwork and security clearances.

I couldn't agree more.

Maybe because I can't tell what time it is, or because I'd been deeply engrossed in the conversation, I only now realize how exhausted I really am.

It's a relief to hear her suggest that.

I know which room she'll assign me to, so I decide to head there for now.  
As I stand in the doorway, my finger stops just before pressing the door switch.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Did you forget something?

Choosing my next words carefully, I ask her out of curiosity.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei, if you had the power to save the life of the person you love the most,  
would you save them, even if it means the whole universe turning against you?

 **(Yuuko)**  
You're asking the wrong person. I have no one like that in my life.

She wouldn't even dignify me with a real answer.

I'm not disappointed, though.  
On the contrary—I would've been surprised if she had one.

 **(Takeru)  
** Also, I just noticed, but...  
You haven't asked me about anything from the future.  
Are you not curious as to what happens, tomorrow, for example?

 **(Yuuko)**  
Don't make fun of me.  
I've considered it, as a matter of course.  
However, I've decided to only ask you on a need-to-know basis.  
In other words—I'll leave it up to you.  
You can tell me what's important as you see fit.  
But I'll call for you tomorrow.  
I still have questions I'll need you to answer.  
And if I haven't stressed it enough, Shirogane,  
if you go on changing the future too much—

 **(Takeru)**  
I know, I know...  
The future will change and I'll end up useless.

I wave my hand in irritation.

 **(Yuuko)**  
So you _do_ have the ability to learn after all.  
Besides, knowledge of the future is a heavy burden to carry.  
I have no intention of sharing that burden with you.  
See you tomorrow, Shirogane.

She responds with a wave of her own, without even looking up at me.

With that, I walk out the door.

* * *

 **Yuuko**

* * *

He's finally gone.

What's with that boy?  
How can he ask such preposterous questions with a straight face?  
Did he really expect me to have an answer right away?

Not everyone is as innocent— _errr_ , ignorant, as you, Shirogane.

He should've just shut up and left when I told him to.  
Now I'm all alone with these ominous thoughts on my mind.

He never mentioned anyone specifically, but he made it crystal clear as to the people he's referring to.

Their deaths haunt him, like a black cloud hanging over his head.

I don't even know if I'm one of them. And I don't plan to bother asking.  
Knowing whether I live or die is a distraction I have no need for.

But if this keeps up, I'm afraid his emotions will win over reason and make him lose sight of our ultimate responsibility.

My fingers stop in mid-air, refusing to continue their task of typing on the keyboard.

How can I trust Shirogane in his current state of mind?

I'm hesitant to ask him about the future, only because I'm afraid he'll distort the truth in his quest for his perfect world.

Take earlier, for instance.

He was suspiciously stubborn about being assigned to 207-B, even going as far as saying _'This isn't our best course of action.'_

Had he asked more simply, I would've placed him in some other squadron immediately.

However—I was curious as to why he reacted in that manner, and it's a good thing I was.

He's running away from something, that much is obvious.

Does he really believe that disconnecting himself would prevent the fate he has seen for them?  
Or does he believe that, if he _can't_ alter their fates, their deaths would have less of an impact on him?

I saw through his pathetic attempt at a lie this time, but who knows if I can do it again in the future?

I can't work with him if I can't trust him; in the same way, he can't work with me if he doesn't trust me.

Don't get me wrong—I really do admire him for his desire to save his friends.  
That proves there's still humanity, albeit naiveté, in him left.

But what if, in the act of rescuing his friends, he jeopardizes a critical mission?  
What if he again feeds me false information of the future, if it means saving their lives?

Can I trust him to properly judge which duty is of more importance?

Sooner or later he'll have to face the reality that nothing can be gained without sacrificing something.

Not only is this law of conservation a law of science—it is also a law of humanity.

And I'm ready to lose everything, if it's for the preservation of the human race.

. . .

Yet, I'm still taking this risk.

You can call this my own personal sacrifice.  
I'm giving up control over to someone other than myself, after all.

And if this is his road to healing, then so be it.  
For now, I have no option but to trust him.  
To give him room to grow.

Yes.

It'll be a lot of extra work, but his motives are clear, so I'll just have to be extra vigilant when analyzing him.

It's a good thing he's transparent and easy to read.  
I don't even need Yashiro for this one.

 _*ringgggg*_

The red telephone rattles on my desk, scattering flecks of dust in the process.

 _Ah_. Finally—she's calling me back.

I pick it up before the first ring has a chance to finish.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Marimo? How are things?  
Wait—don't answer. My news is more exciting.  
I have a gift for you today.

 **(Marimo)**  
Oh? I don't like the sound of that,  
especially since you sound so eerily cheerful.  
What is it this time, _Professorrr~_?

 **(Yuuko)**  
Cut that out!  
Don't you ' _Professor~'_ me!

I know she's doing that on purpose...

I know everyone does it on purpose just to spite me.

Whatever—as long as they can take back what they dish out.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Anyway, I have some broken goods to send you.  
He should be on his way over there!

 **(Marimo)**  
I knew it! You can't even give us new things.

She starts complaining.

 **(Marimo)**  
I always have to settle for seconds—  
 _Eh?_ Did you say ' _he's_ on his way'?  
So you're talking about a person after all.  
That isn't how normal people would describe a person, Yuuuuko~...

 **(Yuuko)**  
That's right! He's on his way.  
But I must warn you.

I feign a sense of urgency in my voice.

 **(Marimo)**  
What is it?

She takes the bait and responds in kind.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Don't fall in love with him now—he's dangerous.  
Everyone close to him dies, apparently.  
Knowing you, you'll be all over a fixer-upper like this one.

 **(Marimo)**  
Yuuuukooo! What exactly is going on? I'm not following you at all!  
And don't say these things over the phone—!

I can almost see her flailing her free hand in the air.

I relish these predictable reactions from Marimo.  
It's child's play getting it out of her.

With my fingers playfully curling around the telephone cord, I retort,

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Hoooh_ —how sad.  
You always dodge it when I set you up with somebody.  
Yes, yes. I'm assigning him to your squad.  
He's your new cadet starting today.

 **(Marimo)**  
Can you please just say that outright next time?  
We spent a lot of time just to get to the point...  
So what's the new recruit's name anyhow?

I can hear the resignation in her voice.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shirogane Takeru.

 **(Marimo)**  
Shirogane... Takeru?  
Is that someone I know?

 **(Yuuko)**  
Take really good care of him!  
I don't want you to make him run away like all your ex-boyfriends.  
This one's too special to lose.

 **(Marimo)**  
Dear me...

I let out a chuckle.

 **(Marimo)**  
Wait—first you say he's broken goods, now you say he's special.  
Which is it really?

 **(Yuuko)**  
You'll find out when you meet him.

 **(Marimo)**  
What a vague response...

 **(Yuuko)**  
I found it, Marimo.  
I found mankind's answer.

 _*click*_

I hang up the phone, smiling to myself at the image of her face listening to the dead tone on her end.

* * *

 _Revised: June 7, 2018_


	5. Wake up, Soldiers!

**Chapter 5 – Wake Up, Soldiers!**

* * *

 **Marimo**

* * *

That Yuuko...

It amazes me how much of a headache she can sometimes be.

I hope this isn't just her latest ploy at setting me up with someone.

She's oddly persistent when it comes to finding me a partner, but I never see her finding one for herself.

As a matter of fact, I haven't seen her with any other man ever since—

A pink-haired persona disrupts my train of thought.

 _'Tamase, you're falling behind! Pick up the pace!  
Everyone else, you're leaving a comrade too far back.  
You'll all be doing extra laps if you don't fix that right away!'_

The afternoon heat engulfs the entire track field.

For any other R&R activity, this amount of sunshine would've been glorious.  
But today is reserved for endurance exercises, and we've been at it since after lunch.

I wipe the sweat forming on my forehead and cool myself off by ruffling my uniform.  
I look more worn out than Mitsurugi Meiya, the girl who ran back to lend Tamase a hand.

Yuuko assigned a new recruit to me.

Shirogane Takeru—did I hear the name correctly?

I try to remember if she mentioned what time Shirogane is supposed to show up.  
The more I try to recall our phone conversation, the more I realize I'd been given no instruction whatsoever.

But I shake it off.

This is a common occurrence.

If you've worked with Yuuko for as long as I have, you'd understand.

So—does he know where to find me?  
If he's new, Yuuko would've ordered someone to escort him over.

 _'Sakaki! Ayamine! Stop trying to trip each other!  
Mitsurugi! Now you're too far back from helping Tamase!  
Sometimes you'll have to leave them behind if they just can't keep up!'_

The two rivals have been fixated on their mini-race.

I usually leave them to it; a healthy competition is an effective method to faster improvement, after all.

But sometimes, their competition reaches drastic heights.

So far, no one has been injured—yet...

Maybe Shirogane will be formally introduced tomorrow.

Or am I supposed to pick him up today?

 _'Aghh!'_ I grunt in silent frustration.  
Everything just has to be complicated with that woman.

She said this boy is special. What's that supposed to mean?

That's a fascinating way to introduce—well, _anyone_.

Yuuko always has a colourful way with words, thanks to her (sharp) silver-tongue.  
Her eloquence can easily exploit anyone in this base to do her bidding.

I've witnessed even the General himself bend his opinions and reverse his orders when in the presence of Yuuko.

The tongue is truly mightier than the sword, if wielded by the right character.

 _'Mankind's answer_ '? Was she also describing the new recruit?

If he is as she says, she must have a lot of faith in me to entrust him under my tutelage.

Or maybe I'm just thinking too highly of myself, and Yuuko is simply being lazy and passing along her problems to me.

I won't find out for sure just by thinking to myself all day.

In what way is the boy special?  
In what way is he the answer?

There's only one way to validate her words...

 _*sigh~*_

 _'Sakaki, take over from here. I'll be back in 30 minutes.'_

I issue the command.

I've already had to excuse myself once this morning, when I had to return Yuuko's 'emergency' phone call.

It is with a slight sense of regret that I have to do it once again.

 **(Chizuru)**  
Understood, Instr. Jinguuji!

I walk briskly in the direction of her office.

I won't allow this. I'll have to talk to Yuuko to her face.  
I've been a pushover for far too long.  
She has to at least tell me when and where to introduce the new recruit to the squadron.

 _'Why am I so eager to meet this new cadet?'_  
My feet slow down as I come to the realization.

 _'No—this isn't about him. This is about Yuuko.'_

I speed up once again, dismissing the ridiculous notion.

I'll give her a piece of my mind while I'm at it.  
Don't bring up my ex-boyfriends over an unsecured line!  
Other personnel listen in on those lines!

I should say something embarrassing out loud about you next time, just you wait!

While I continue walking, I pat down the wrinkles on my utility uniform and comb my hair with my fingers.  
I have no time to clean up the dirt on my face, but I'm not too worried about my presentation if it's just Yuuko.

 _Huh?_

It's hard to see all of it because he's staring at the floors, but I feel like I've seen that face somewhere around the base before.  
He should've noticed me by now; I'm standing directly in front of him on the opposite end of the hallway.

 _'Is that... you... Shirogane Takeru?'_

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

I know I said I'd be heading to my room.

But as soon as I leave Yuuko-sensei's office, the door to my right captures my attention.

Kasumi isn't in there right now, but she's not the one I'm looking for.

Yuuko-sensei is supposed to call for me later, when Kasumi regains her health.

What was that about, anyway?  
How did I knock her down while I was out cold myself?

I have a feeling Yuuko-sensei was lying to me, though I don't see what she could gain by doing so.

I don't think this has ever happened before.

The first time I meet Kasumi—is in this room.  
She never comes out before then.

So why did she come over this time, while I was unconscious?

Is it because of my actions at the security gate?

No—it feels like a minor change like that shouldn't trigger that reaction from Kasumi.

Something feels out of place...

It doesn't matter at this point.  
I'll make it up to Kasumi later.

Right now, my immediate concern is the other... person... behind this door.

I try to sort out my thoughts before entering the room, but my body decides to proceed before I could finish doing so.

. . .

. . .

. . . .

I'm in a dark, daunting hallway.

I almost forgot about this part.  
For some reason, I appear to be more aware of its boundaries.

Cautiously, I place one foot in front of the other.

The echoes of my footsteps drown out my thoughts.

The deafening sounds grow louder and louder with every step, until I could feel my head pounding to the beat of the noise.

I speed up my pace to escape this nauseating environment.

But the echoes multiply; the pounding in my head even worsens.  
Haze infiltrates my vision, and my legs start to stumble.

I run for it.

I feared I would never reach the end of the hallway, but I finally did.

I can feel my heart furiously racing, but I don't care for it too much, because in the middle of this dimly lit room is the reason I came in the first place.

 _Sumika_...

She's still here...  
In that wretched torture chamber...

I regret just barging in.

There are several things I want to tell her.

But my thoughts are in terrible disarray.

 _'Don't worry Sumika, I'm here to save you.'  
'Sumika, did you bring me back here again? Did you stop me from going home?'_

 _'Sumika! You made me like this, you made this eternal prison!'_

 _'It's my fault you're like this...'  
'It's your fault I'm like this!'_

 _'I love you, Sumika.'  
'Release me, Sumika!'_

A myriad of words to say is on my mind.  
But in all the chaos, nothing of worth stands out to say aloud.

And I don't know if she can hear me in the first place, in which case—my words would just go to waste.

Instead.

I slowly walk up beside her container and lean my forehead against it.  
My palms lightly touch the surface of the glass case.

This is the closest I can physically get to her as possible.

I stay in this position.

If time allowed it, I would've liked to stay this way for the rest of eternity.

No words escape my lips as time slips by.  
This is all I can think of doing.

. . .

. . .

. . .

After a few seconds, or minutes, or hours have passed (I'm not exactly sure), I break the connection between us and leave for my original destination.

 _'I'll be back, Sumika,'_ comes my tender whisper.

I blitz through the hallway this time, blocking out my hearing to the best of my ability.

The stale underground air on the other end might as well have been fresh outside air, I think to myself, arriving at the exit.  
I breathe it all in to regain my bearings after that disconcerting hallway.

Claustrophobia... tunnels...  
The abstract ideas depart my thoughts as suddenly as it had entered.

My eyes look back in the direction of Sumika one last time before I resume the trip back to my room.

There's no way I should say any of those things to her.

How can I complain to her like that?  
She's in enough distress as she is now.  
I'd only be adding to her suffering.

And if she can't hear me in her current condition, I'd need Kasumi to help me talk to her.

I shouldn't burden her with my selfish complaints.

But if there is anyone in the universe who could understand me right now, it'd be Sumika.

Her fate is just as cursed as mine.

Soon, she'll have to die to be turned into the 00 Unit—

I think about that for a moment, still walking towards my room.

Can I bring myself to kill Sumika a second time?

Yuuko-sensei performed the dirty deed, but ultimately, I enabled her to do it.

There's no washing Sumika's blood off my hands.

I can save her this time.

All I have to do is say nothing of Yuuko-sensei's research.

She won't realize she has the wrong formula, so she'll never accomplish turning Sumika into the 00 Unit.

 _'Shirogane... Takeru?'_

I don't remember Yuuko-sensei's equations.

Not all of it, anyway.

However—Kasumi can still extract the images of the missing information from my memories.  
Even by force, if that's how they want to proceed.

I _have_ to save Sumika this time...

Wait—

If I save her and keep her alive.  
Then she'd remain in that container, forever subjected to that vile torture...

If I _don't_ save her.  
She'd die for the 00 Unit, though her death would free her from her suffering...

If I save her.

She wouldn't turn into the 00 Unit.  
And Alternative IV would be a failure.  
So Alternative V—

 _Gah!_ I slam the wall with the side of my fist.

No matter what choice I make, none of them would bring true salvation to Sumika.

 _She's damned if I do.  
She's damned if I do not..._

Sensei—is this another of those positions, where I have to play god?

 _'Shirogane Takeru?'_

Did someone call my name?

I look up.

I've been deeply consumed in thought that I hadn't noticed the ghost standing in front of me.

No, it can't be that.

But I haven't seen her in—how long? I no longer know.  
It feels like a lifetime ago.

That must be the reason I confused her for a ghost.

 **(Takeru)**  
Mari—  
Excuse me... Instr. Jinguuji?

 **(Marimo)**  
So you really are Shirogane Takeru?  
I wasn't sure, you didn't answer the first time I called your name.  
 _Eh_ —wait. How do you know my name?  
Oh, of course. Prof. Kouzuki must've told you.  
Pleasure to meet you, Shirogane.

She stretches out her hand.

I just stood there like a fool, unable to hear anything she said, and it took me a while to return the handshake.

She is very much real, the person in front of me.

The touch of her delicate hand comforts that notion.

Her caramel hair, and matching eyes...  
I can't help but feel a familiar sense of calm.

Old emotions that I thought were lost come back to resurface.

I was—happy?

 _N... No_.

This is a feeling of... sorrow...

Why... am I... sad?

 **(Marimo)**  
Shirogane? Can you understand me?

 **(Takeru)**  
Ma'am! It's a pleasure to meet you as well.  
I look forward to being under your care.

 **(Marimo)**  
I was headed for Yuuko—I mean, Prof. Kouzuki's office,  
but that can wait for later.  
Were you lost?  
Don't tell me Prof. Kouzuki sent you without showing you the way?  
You're lucky I found you.  
Follow me; I shall introduce you to our squadron.  
They're in the middle of exercises, but they should be almost finished.

 **(Takeru)**  
Yes Ma'am...

I shadow her obediently.

. . .

I'm not ready to see them just yet.

Why else was I trying to get to my room in the first place?  
I should've run to it right away instead of stopping by to talk to Sumika.

 **(Marimo)**  
You're a man of few words, Shirogane.

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

 **(Marimo)**  
. . .

 _Sumika_...

I thought she made me the Causality Conductor.

Kasumi had me convinced.

So what happened? How did it fool even Kasumi and Yuuko-sensei?

I can't think of a good reason.  
Nothing that's been happening to me has had a logical reason.

Was Kasumi right about Sumika all along, but wrong about the 00 Unit being involved, so in fact, I had to be released by the real Sumika instead?

But the real Sumika was dead back then.

And if I truly have to deal with the real Sumika this time, I am doomed

Sumika can't release me in her current condition.  
Sumika can't do _anything_ in her current condition.

The moment she leaves that container, she dies.

She supposedly made me the Causality Conductor in her strong wish to see Shirogane Takeru again, which had a strange reaction with the G-bombs that took down Yokohama Hive.

Is it really possible for a wish to have such a power?  
Or is there more to it, some loophole, something not understood in its entirety?

Or are we wrong about Sumika having anything to do with the Causality Conductor?

In that case—I'm back to square zero.

Zero.

Everything I've been through has been a colossal waste.

. . .

Do I have anything to gain by spending more time with Sumika this loop?

No.

I need to search for the _true_ Causality Conductor, and the last loop proved it had nothing to do with her.

But...

How can I think such horrid thoughts?  
Sumika is all alone—and I know exactly how soul-crushing the feeling of solitude is...

. . .

. . .

I've decided.

Sumika—you and I can feel alone... together...  
And Kasumi can keep us company...

 **(Marimo)**  
Sakaki, assemble everyone right away!

 **(Chizuru)**  
Ma'am!

 **(Marimo)**  
Shirogane, we have arrived—

Muffled voices can be heard in the background, though I'm unable to interpret the words.

 **(Marimo)**  
Shirogane?

 **(Takeru)**  
Ma'am?

 **(Marimo)**  
We've arrived.  
Are you having trouble hearing?

 **(Takeru)**  
No Ma'am, I'm fine.  
I was thinking of something unrelated.  
Sorry for not paying attention.

I stand upright in apology.

 **(Marimo)**  
As you were.  
Allow me to introduce you to the team.

The ground rumbles underneath my feet as Squad 207-B complies with Marimo-chan's order.  
The squad appears in front of me, forming a straight line.

 **(Marimo)**  
Everyone! This is Shirogane Takeru, our new recruit.  
From today onwards, he'll be joining our squadron.  
I ran into him earlier and showed him around the base on the way here.  
Please make him feel welcome!

 _Huh_? Did she really show me around?  
I... wasn't paying attention... at all...

 **(Everyone)**  
Ma'am! It's a pleasure to meet you, Shirogane Takeru!

 **(Marimo)**  
Shirogane, meet the members of our squad.  
Mitsurugi Meiya.  
Sakaki Chizuru.  
Tamase Miki.  
Ayamine Kei.  
You'll meet the last one later; she's currently in the hospital.  
Please give it everything you have!

I politely nod in their direction as she called out their names.

 **(Takeru)**  
Ma'am!  
The pleasure is all mine.

It feels—wrong...

Not being able to walk up to them.

Or not calling them by their nicknames.

Or not feeling...

Home...

 **(Meiya)**  
Shirogane, are you unwell?

The warm voice of Meiya brings me back to the present.

 **(Takeru)**  
—Of course...  
What makes you ask?

 _Akh_! That doesn't make sense.  
I said the opposite of what I'd meant.

 **(Meiya)**  
There appears to be blood on your lower teeth—

 **(Marimo)**  
Let's get moving!  
Ten minutes before exercise concludes.  
Shirogane, there's little time left, so stay there and watch for now.  
Everyone else, finish and clean up!

 **(Everyone)**  
Yes Ma'am!

I've been biting my lower lip this whole time, and I must've been biting harder than I had meant to.

I finally understand the feeling I had in me earlier.  
The knot in the pit of my stomach is unraveling.

I wasn't sure how I'd react to seeing everyone... but...

It was sorrow I felt when I saw Marimo-chan.  
It is sorrow I am feeling right now, when I see everyone together again...

 **(Takeru)**  
 _I am truly... truly... sorry..._  
 _All of you..._

I whisper under my breath as I drink back the blood oozing out of my lower lip.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _I'm not the only one the universe is keeping from resting in peace._  
 _Meiya, Class Rep, Tama, Ayamine, Marimo-chan... and Mikoto..._  
 _I am sorry..._  
 _To wake you all up... from the dead..._

* * *

 _Revised: June 7, 2018_


	6. Nightmares of Tomorrow

**Chapter 6 — Nightmares of Tomorrow**

* * *

 **Miki**

* * *

The PX is alive with the usual clamour of silverware and ceramic repeatedly making contact, while the air around us is packed with the indistinguishable chatter of soldiers and fellow cadets alike.

The only noise absent is that coming from our table.

It's been five minutes since we all sat down and started eating, but no one has said a word as of yet.

Mitsurugi-san, her back aligned and shoulders poised, is the illustration of grace and elegance as she consumes her meal.

In contrast, Ayamine-san is on an important mission to devour every single morsel of hers.

I've barely touched my own; it's difficult for me to eat quietly, especially when in the company of my friends.

I can't stand it! I have to put an end to this uncomfortable silence!

 **(Miki)**  
Mitsurugi-san, sorry for holding you back.  
I'll work harder next time!

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
There is no need for apology.  
Knowing that you will try harder is sufficient.  
But heed Inst. Jinguuji's words,  
for I may have to leave you behind should you not improve.

 _Ouch!_

She's as straight as an arrow as ever.

I smile back nervously, and with the most confidence I can muster, I gleefully reply,

 **(Miki)**  
Of course~!

I already feel terrible for making her come back for me.

Stamina is not my strongest suit, so in my own way, I work harder than everyone else every single day. It's still not enough to keep up with them, though.

The last thing I want to be is deadweight.

But right now, we're eating, so I should opt for a conversation of a lighter subject.

Oh—I know!

 **(Miki)**  
By the way, Mitsurugi-san,  
what do you think of our new squadmate?  
He seems too uptight, doesn't he?  
I'm almost afraid to talk to him.

She lays her chopsticks down, then she responds,

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
If you are referring to Shirogane, then I will have to agree with you.  
He does have an air of defensiveness about him.  
The timing of his appearance is curious,  
not to mention his mouth was bleeding earlier.  
However, it is not my place to question such affairs.

Her chopsticks move again to continue their service.

This is the second time she's brought up Shirogane-san's bloody gums, even though no one else noticed it.

I believe you, Mitsurugi-san—but I can only address your first concern.

 **(Miki)**  
The timing is indeed interesting, isn't it?  
Men are usually the first to be recruited, so I wonder where he's been all this time.

It's a sad truth, but almost every new cadet tends to be girls around my age.

We're all fed up waiting for our fathers, uncles, brothers, and sometimes, lovers, to come back home.

Men are no longer the only ones who need a reason to fight.

Myself? _Eh_ —my reason?  
Don't ask me such a broad question so suddenly!

But if I really have to answer you, then...  
I'm here because—I want everyone to be happy...?

Hold on, that's not exactly right.

 _Uhmm_ —let me think...

For Papa.

I am fighting for Papa because Papa is fighting for me...

Yes, that's better.  
Is that answer good enough for you?

Well then, I can now shift my attention to Ayamine-san.

 **(Miki)**  
What about you, Ayamine-san?  
You haven't said anything since we started eating.  
What do you think about him?

 **(Ayamine)**  
He's a boy—and a little bit cute...

She replies with foxy, daring eyes.

I laugh and add,

 **(Miki)**  
And he's tall, especially from my point of view~.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
But he comes off as brooding, if you ask me.

We all smile to ourselves as we continue with our meals.

Ayamine-san can be very bold at times, and I envy her sooo much for it.

We are girls too, you know!  
We love to gossip and tease each other about these things.

It's a welcome distraction from the horrors of the world outside this base...  
Of the world we are preparing to face.

And it's quite rare for us to find interesting boys to talk about.

I've learned that Ayamine-san has a taste for the older, hardened soldiers.

She once told me that her paramour in the past was a subordinate of her father's.  
Though she never talks about him any more than that.

Mitsurugi-san has a preference for—

Wait—I see what you're trying to do to me!  
They all told me their secrets in confidence!  
There's no way I'm sharing them with you!

 _Ah,_ sorry, Ayamine-san—I got carried away.

I digress. Where was I again?

Oh, right. About our new squadmate...

I can't ask him something so straightforward as 'where are you from?', even if it is curious like Mitsurugi-san says.

It's an unspoken rule around here not to pry into other people's lives unless they bring it up themselves.

To me, all that rule does is build fences, making it difficult to form bonds amongst ourselves.

But such is the status quo.  
What else can I do but fall in line?

Also—the thing is, I feel weird when Shirogane-san looks at me...

No no no!  
It's not what you think, and I am _definitely_ not blushing!

I mean—sure, he looks fit, strong, not to mention his honey-coloured eyes...  
But that's not what I mean!

It's just...  
When we first met him...

The expression on his face...  
His gaze felt distant.  
Like he sees beyond us...  
Before us...  
Into us...

Am I the only one who feels this way?

I should ask Mitsurugi-san.  
Her intuition is second to none when it comes to judging character.

 **(Miki)**  
Mitsurugi-san, what can you say about the look in his eyes?  
When I look into them—it feels like... I've seen him before...

Before she manages to form an answer, I jump up from my seat.

 **(Miki)**  
 _Ah,_ excuse me, Mitsurugi-san.  
But I can see them coming back.

I wave energetically at the pair of brown-haired newcomers.

 **(Miki)**  
Hey~!  
Sakaki-san, Shirogane-san, over here~!

I didn't even have to do that, it would seem.  
They were headed for our table to begin with.

I smile at them as they each take their seats.  
Sakaki-san returns it with a curt nod.

Shirogane-san doesn't even glance in my direction.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
That was fast.

She comments.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sakaki-san was kind enough to show me the venue for my oath-taking.

 **(Chizuru)**  
Oh? You say nothing to me this whole time, and now you decide to talk?  
I only did so because Instr. Jinguuji ordered me to.  
I bet you already knew where it was in the first place.

She snaps in a display of annoyance.

Shirogane-san's face remains unchanged.

Could it be that he doesn't like us for squadmates?  
Or maybe he doesn't want to be here?

I shouldn't think like this; he might simply have a shy personality, and I shouldn't judge him solely on first impressions.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
Speaking of, Shirogane—Instr. Jinguuji requested me to give this to you.

Mitsurugi-san hands him a sheet of paper that he cordially accepts.

Oh! That must be the oath transcript.  
It's been a long time since I've had to recite that myself.

I remember being very nervous when it was my turn to memorize it.

I know! I should encourage him!

 **(Miki)**  
Good luck, Shirogane-san~!

Good job, Miki! You said it out loud!  
I point my index finger in the air and smile at him reassuringly.

Shirogane-san may be difficult to approach, but I'll do whatever it takes to get along.  
We're all a part of the same squad, after all.

 **(Takeru)**  
— _Eh?_ Oh, thank you, Tamase-san...

There he goes again.

He looks troubled every time I talk to him.  
At least he's acknowledging me now, I guess.

I brush back the pink locks of hair that have made their way over my collar.  
This has been happening a lot lately.

It's been a while since I've seen the base hairdresser, so maybe I should go see her before these loose strands turn into a distraction out in the field.

Their conversation goes on without me as I busy myself tidying up my hair.

 _'Tamase-san'._

Somehow, it feels awkward when Shirogane-san says my name that way—

 _*flash*_

What was that just now?

I caught a sight of—something...

No, that's not right...

I—felt it.  
I didn't see it...

I felt... scared... yet... brave...  
I can feel... imminent death... but also... purpose...?

And in the middle of it all, is—Shirogane-san?

What silly daydreams am I thinking of?  
I'm calling it silly, and yet... it feels too real...  
I've lived this before...  
This is deja vu, all over again...

When I snap out of it, I realize I've been staring at Shirogane-san...  
At his cold, empty eyes...

And he's staring right back at me.

I let out a nervous chuckle and finish clearing up my hair.

It's getting warm in here all of a sudden.

 **(Chizuru)**  
Anyway, memorize that oath for tomorrow.  
You'll have to recite it before you can be formally enlisted.

 _Ah!_ Thanks for breaking the tension, Sakaki-san!

 **(Takeru)**  
Understood.

 **(Ayamine)**  
Boring guy...

Ayamine-san speaks to him for the first time.

Or rather, she speaks _at_ him.

I can see her eyes are closed, as though the food she'd been chewing is more interesting than the words she just said out loud.  
She's not even looking at him.

 **(Takeru)**  
Ayamine-san? Give me a break...  
Coming from you, that's just—

 **(Ayamine)**  
 _Eh?_ He talked to me.

Her eyes expand in mock surprise.

 **(Miki)**  
 _*laughs*  
_ Ayamine-san, I think he said you're boring too~!

I tease them both.

 **(Takeru)**  
Don't put dangerous words in my mouth, Tamase-san—

 **(Ayamine)**  
 _Ah—_ he did? He better watch his back.

Comes her menacing reply.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm right here, you know.  
You can talk to me directly.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
. . .

He smiled a little bit!  
It only lasted a second, but I saw it...

And—he thought Ayamine-san was funny.  
Not too many people can follow through with Ayamine-san's sense of humour!

 **(Chizuru)**  
By the way, Shirogane—I need to ask you.  
Instr. Jinguuji said something about you being 'special'.  
Do you know what she meant by that?

 _'Sakaki-san! Why do you always have to be so serious...  
We're eating. Can't we have a nice chat over a meal?'_

...was what I wanted to say out loud.

But of course—I can't say such things...  
Especially not to Sakaki-san...

 **(Takeru)**  
Did she really say that?  
But I'm no more special than any of you.  
In fact, compared to you, I'm nobody.  
I have no relatives in high places,  
nor do I have friends in high places.  
I'm just another soldier with a duty to his world.

 **(Ayamine)**  
 _*gasp*_  
So deep,

Says Ayamine-san, and as if to reaffirm her sentiment, she pretends to meditate by closing her eyes and rubbing her chin.

Is Shirogane-san familiar with Papa? Or even everyone else's familial backgrounds?

I mean—we were only just introduced an hour ago.

Mitsurugi-san and Sakaki-san are understandable; their names and appearances point to the obvious.

But a civilian wouldn't be able to readily recognize me nor Ayamine-san in our first meeting...  
I bear no semblance to Papa, and our last name is quite common...

How much does he really know about us?

I can no longer hold myself from asking.

 **(Miki)**  
Shirogane-san, you speak like you know a lot about us...  
But we know nothing about you.  
Can Miki ask where you're from?

I know I sound nervous, but I'm proud for finally bringing it up.

To reinforce my boldness, I unveil my biggest smile yet.

I consider keeping my eyes closed, so as to not have to lock eyes with him again, but I decide blinking rapidly can produce the same effect.

Maybe I could pass it off as a joke if the question offends him.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
Tamase—is it not rude to Shirogane to ask such a personal question?

But—!

 **(Takeru)**  
Mitsurugi-san, she has a valid point.  
It'd be unfair to all of you if I know you when you don't know me.  
We're part of the same squad, so I think it's important.

 _Ah!_ Thanks for backing me up, Shirogane-san!  
I feel braver the longer I sit here.

And it appears that I wasn't the only one wondering about him.

I can see everyone, myself included, lean closer to the table, anxiously waiting to hear the story of Shirogane-san.

If I were in his place, I might back down from this pressure.

But not him. His expression is unfazed.  
He looks—calm...

 **(Takeru)  
** You all know my name.  
But allow me to reintroduce myself properly this time,  
since I wasn't too attentive before.  
My name is Shirogane Takeru.  
You may call me however you like; I don't mind.

Sakaki-san shrugs her arms.

 **(Chizuru)**  
We all know that.

She says, as a matter-of-factly.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
Let him speak freely, Sakaki.

 **(Takeru)**  
You don't have to do that for me, Mitsurugi-san.

I notice Ayamine-san wanting to chime in too, but I motion her to stop or else we'd never get anywhere.

Shirogane-san loudly clears his throat to silence the table once more.

 **(Takeru)**  
As I was saying,  
I'm a soldier from another base,  
so I have some level of combat experience.  
However, I was re-assigned to Yokohama recently.  
I've been instructed to go through a Comprehensive Combat Skill Evaluation  
to assess the level of my aptitude,  
since our training curriculums are different.  
It's sort of like their transfer program, I suppose.

Everyone's eyes light up one by one.

Even Ayamine-san stopped feigning disinterest as she heard of Shirogane-san's origin.

Because I've always been terrible at hiding my own enthusiasm, I unleash a flurry of questions.

 **(Miki)**  
Really!? That's amazing!  
Does that mean you've flown in a TSF before?  
Have you fought real BETA yet?  
What's it like?

 **(Chizuru)**  
Tamase, slow down.  
At least let him answer the first question before asking another.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
Is that so, Shirogane?  
Would that perhaps be the reason they say you are special?

 **(Ayamine)**  
A child soldier—not boring after all...

Squad leader sighs, but she's wearing a smile this time.

 **(Chizuru)**  
Look at what you've done.  
Now we all expect great things from you, Shirogane.  
Don't let us down after saying something so impressive.

That was... incredible...

He managed to get everyone so excited—and it's only his first day with us!

I can't remember the last time we were all thrilled together like this.

It's not that we don't enjoy each other's company.  
It's just that... we all feel distant... even though we spend a lot of our time together.

I've been able to get along well with Ayamine-san and Yoroi-san.

I can still speak to Mitsurugi-san and Sakaki-san, but only during training...  
When free time begins, our conversations feel forced, and too formal...

But here comes Takeru-san...  
I mean—Shirogane-san...

For some reason (and I have a hunch that everyone feels the same way), the atmosphere around him is... intimate... comfortable... close...

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
When Yoroi returns from the hospital,  
we shall work towards making Squad 207 the strongest it has ever been.  
The addition of Shirogane has made our current situation far more promising.

Mitsurugi-san, I wanted to say that!

Why can't I say cool things like that?  
It's not like I want to impress Shirogane-san...

 **(Takeru)**  
I look forward to meeting Yoroi-san...

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
Will you not ask what she has been hospitalized for?

 **(Takeru)**  
I figure I don't have to.  
You just said, _'When Yoroi returns from the hospital,'_  
so I'm led to believe that she's near full recovery.  
The reason and manner of her injury make little difference to me now.

 **(Chizuru)**  
You're perceptive, it would seem.

Yeah! He sounds so cool!

 **(Ayamine)**  
It's his way of saying, 'I don't care'.

 **(Miki)**  
Ayamine-san!

I chide her jokingly.

The days ahead just became a lot more radiant. I can't wait!

 **(Miki)**  
Let's train hard together, Takeru-san!  
 _Ah!_ E–e–excuse me—Shirogane-san!

Oh no! I ruined the moment!

It feels so natural, saying his name that way, but I might be overstepping boundaries by acting too friendly toward him.

It's only been a day... and I may have already ended our relationship...

I can feel colour rush to my cheeks, so my hands move to hide them.  
Miki is so embarrassed...

 **(Takeru)**  
Of course.  
Let's all work hard together... Tama...

His smile... is just... so...

Peaceful.

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

That was unexpected.

I never had to worry about my backstory before.

Usually, Yuuko-sensei would just tell them I'd been a recent exemption from the draft, and only now am I able to join the UN army.  
I guess she didn't use that excuse this time.

In fact, she left everything up to me.

I'm unsure how I feel about this extra freedom.  
No doubt, it comes with a lot more responsibility for the actions I take, as well as the words I say.

I wasn't trying to be a show-off, but I'm more comfortable with my new story.

I no longer have to keep making excuses as to the extent of my training, and I no longer have to hold back.

I'm here to stay close so that their combat skills come back to them.  
To make them 'remember' how to be the best.

And I don't want to diminish their morale while I'm doing so.

But that might be pointless after all...

Because even in past loops, when I was so full of myself...  
None of them wavered...  
And in fact—they all worked even harder...

And got better...

All without my help...

They really are extraordinary people.

After oath-taking and daily exercises are over, I'll stop by Yuuko-sensei's office.

 _'I shall fulfill my duty to protect international peace and stability,  
by rigidly adhering to the code of conduct...'_

Hopefully she has a clue to where we can start looking for the Causality Conductor.

Oh, that's right—I hope Kasumi would be there too.

. . .

I wonder if they were all seeing what I was...

For every second I spend around the squad, my memories of them emerge uncontrollably.

And—I can't quite place my finger on it, but these memories are too vivid.

Even more so than in the past.

For example.

In a previous loop, I remember experiencing similar flashbacks like this, usually triggered by thinking about a setting related to the memory.

And if I were to put it in words—

Back then, my flashbacks were like pictures.

Fleeting images.

And this time, I feel like I'm seeing the whole thing, as though I were watching a video in high definition.

 _'By cultivating virtue,  
training my mind and body,  
polishing my skills,  
by not taking part in political actions,  
and by giving my undivided attention to the completion of the mission.'_

And when I saw Tama...

I had the strong urge to hug her, to feel her...

To make sure she really is back in one piece.

It had taken all my willpower just to stay put in my place.

All I can do was stare.

Awkwardly.

I can't suppress these flashback episodes, no matter how hard I try.  
Like a faucet without a knob—I have no way to stop its leak.

And my memory of Tama in the Original Hive...

The last I saw of her was...  
Her upper body, dangling from the ceiling of the core...

Yes.

That damn Superior was about to recycle her into a soldier class BETA.

 _'Hah,'_ I silently snort with disgust.

Soldier class.

The universe has a perverted sense of humour.

Our own soldiers—are the BETA's Soldier class army...

Humans are killing what was once human.  
And what was once human is killing humans.

I'm sure... that they all... would've been turned into BETA as well... had I not destroyed the Hive.

These nightmares of the future would not stop haunting me.

And the only reason... I haven't lost my sanity yet...  
Is because of the peace I feel in seeing them again...

Alive—and well...

For the time being.

 _'I swear never to shrink from danger,  
but to risk my life to fulfill my responsibility towards humanity!'_

I agreed to help Yuuko-sensei again, but not because I want to save the world.

No.

I've accomplished that in the last world.  
And what good has that done to this world?

I have to save my own world... my own life... this time around...

I... have to... find... the Causality Conductor...  
Above everything else...

Only then.

And I mean— _only then_.

Will my actions make a difference to this world's branches.

Only then can I free myself from the universe's prison.

It's not a selfish goal.  
I don't believe it is.

At the very least—I can save this Earth at the same time.

But even so, if I were to save this Earth, there's nothing I could do about the countless other Superiors and their BETA armies out there, in planets whose existence we don't even know of.

Moreover, I can't begin to comprehend the magnitude of the existence that is their Creator.

So if I obliterate the Original Hive from this Earth again, who knows how long it'd take before they launch a counterattack to reclaim it.

And maybe then, they'd wage war against humanity in earnest.

All I'd be doing is borrowing more time.

Ten years... thirty years... fifty years... It makes little difference.

When the time is due, only annihilation awaits humankind.

This world stands no chance against the sheer quantity of BETA in the entire cosmos.

Such concepts are far beyond my purpose.  
I am only one boy.  
I can only save one Earth.

And my friends must die again for that to take place.

I can afford to be childish no longer.  
I have prepared myself for the tomorrow I have to unfold.

I made the heart-wrenching decision after reflecting on it all night.

If their deaths are the path to the best possible future, then I have no business in playing devil's advocate by preventing that from happening.

Yuuko-sensei's words ring in my ears.

I find it... extremely difficult... to be around them... to look them in the eye...  
While thinking what I'm thinking right now...

But we must all play the roles given to us by destiny...

And my role—is not of a god...  
Nor of a saviour... If I can't even save the lives of my friends...

Because, I know.

That if I can only just find it—  
The real Causality Conductor.

I can go home.  
To our true home...

Everything will be back to the way it was.

And I'd be able to see you guys.  
In Hakuryou High School.

Where we can all smile at each other again...

R... right?

This hope...  
Is the only thing...  
Keeping my heart...  
From breaking apart...

. . .

Oh—oath-taking is over.

* * *

 **Meiya**

* * *

Here I am once again, shrouded in the darkness that is the night.

It is a routine of mine to train by myself in the track field at this hour.  
My only companions—the night breeze and the moonlight.

 _'Tonight's a night like any other,'_ is what I would say had you asked me on an ordinary day.  
But the past two days have been the antithesis of ordinary.

While running my laps, the events that have transpired invite me to contemplate.

How can I describe it? It has been... fresh... new...  
Yet—familiar...

The additional training today has worn me out more than usual.  
An extra two kilometers with full gear on... on top of the standard ten-kilometer exercise...  
I have my new squadmate to thank for that.

Shirogane...

What an intriguing person he's turning out to be.

I am grateful that he spoke up and asked the Instructor to make us run like that for two kilometers instead of another ten, as she had originally intended.

But we would have never arrived at that predicament had he not finished his laps so quickly.

And the Instructor must have been just as impressed.

I failed to hear her make any mention of how he was far ahead of the rest of us, as she does every time Tamase gets too behind.

He must have indeed been through rigorous training in his past recruitment.

I must remind myself to ask him to think about us—his squadmates—should he decide to constantly venture ahead of us going into the future.

At least until we catch up to him.

And we most definitely will.

I have learned I have not yet the strength to push myself further, but I was not prepared for the extra task—

No—I cannot allow myself to falter and make feeble excuses as such.

Instead, I must welcome the new challenge that Shirogane brings.

I have been facing the same ones for some time now, but a blade striking the same block will eventually dull unless sharpened.

Only then may I start improving again.

That is why my personal exercise continues here tonight, exhausted as I am.

A bead of sweat rolls down my cheek.

. . .

. . .

. . .

The silence of the evening is accompanied by the rustling of my hair.  
I pause for a moment to appreciate the sound—as well as this serene ambience.

Upon pausing, I face the night sky.

The moon is there to meet my gaze.

Only a few nights ago, the moon had turned a new phase in its cycle.

The darkest night of the month has passed, and I can already see the crescent forming in its journey to a full moon.

I always look forward to the full moon, when the night is brightest.  
It is at that time when I can make the greatest shadows.

For the night has always been my friend—and the shadow, my sister.

Yes—my shadow reminds me of my sister, because a shadow is what I must be for her.

Yuuhi...

Elder sister...

 _Aneue_...

Are we gazing at this same sky... at this same moment?

I would like to believe we are, even if the truth were otherwise...

I find it more beautiful to consider that the moon and the stars let me talk to my sister when we gaze at them at the same time...

 _'What has kept you busy today, aneue?'  
'A new person joined my squad recently.'  
'A boy, can you believe that?'  
'Would you care to hear more about him?'  
'I have a feeling you will like him.'_

 _. . ._

I talk—about the happenings of today and yesterday, letting the wind carry my words, hopefully into aneue's heart.

Though we are far apart, moments like this allow us to overcome that distance.

I cherish these brief emotions of joy; these are the feelings I hold close to the chest.

Whenever I begin to doubt the reason I want to fight.  
I need only look up to the night—

Oh?

I hear footsteps from the direction of the gymnasium.

It would seem that I am not alone this time, aneue...  
I will have to talk to you again on another day.

To the night—I bid adieu.

I turn to investigate the interruption.

It is unusual for anyone else to be here.  
The magic of this space, at this time—is my secret, my sanctuary...

So I wonder who has arrived to threaten it.

The silhouette of the mystery person motions onto the steps toward the field, where it stops to take a seat.

Can it be that they are also here to find peace?

Curiously, I walk towards it to uncover the identity of the intruder.

I tie my hair back in careful strokes, and with my sleeve, I wipe the remaining sweat on my face as I move forward.

...

. . .

. . . .

I am no more than five meters away now.  
By this time, my footsteps should have alerted them to my presence.

However—the intruder does not even look up.

My fingers tingle with anticipation.

As my eyes focus better on the shadow in front of me, I slowly realize that I know to whom it belongs to.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
Shirogane—?

No reply comes from the silhouette.  
But my certainty grows as I narrow the gap between us.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
 _Hm?_ It really is you.

It was no intruder after all.

With a slight sense of relief, I approach the familiar figure.

 _Huh_? Has he fallen asleep?

He remains sitting, but his head still faces the ground.  
How can one fall asleep in such an unnatural position?

From where I stand, I am unable to tell if his eyes are closed or not.

In an attempt to bring my presence to his attention, I walk even closer in the hopes of shrugging him awake.

So—with my left hand, I reach for the collar on his shoulder and call out his name.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
Shirogane, you must not—

But I never got to touch it—his shoulder...

As though to answer my unvoiced question.

His right hand rapidly moves to parry my own from going any further.

He catches my hand in a grip.

And his grip is painful.

Excruciating.

Torturous.

Words cannot adequately describe this sudden onslaught of pain, but that does not stop me from trying.

I scream out my anguish.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
 _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

My left hand is locked, and I am powerless to resist this vice.

It may have only been for a few seconds.

But in my mind, it lasted a day...

A month...

A...

Lifetime...

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
SHIROGANE! YOU'RE HURTING ME!

Still—his hand does not even twitch.

My eyes water as I writhe in agony.

My entire body is paralyzed in terror.

I never knew such pain can exist.

But is it from this grip?

It is firm... relentless...  
But he isn't squeezing it at all...

And yet, I stand no chance of breaking it off.

The pain transcends that which is physical...

It's reaching me mentally...  
Emotionally...  
Psychologically...

Where is this pain coming from?

This picture of grief.  
Sadness.  
Despair.  
Will.  
Heartache.

And finally—release...

Am I... going to die?

Is Shirogane...  
About to kill me?

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
SHIROGANE!

Fearing for my life, I disregard every sense of etiquette I ever grew up with, and I muster the remainder of my strength.

To slap him across his cheek...

 _*SLAP*_

It makes a piercing sound that reverberates into the night.

His face is one of shock.

 **(Takeru)**  
Mei...ya?

His grasp loosens, but he remains holding my hand.

The pain—does not cease.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
LET GO OF MY HAND!

He looked at it a moment.  
As though he only just took notice of his actions.

Finally, he does as I ask.

I run away from the source of my torment, with no desire to look back.

My hand feels fine, like it was never even held.  
But the pangs—persist in my head...

I do not understand what it is I felt...  
But—it hurts...

It hurts deeply...

I only stop running upon reaching my room.

After slamming my door shut behind me, I lean my back against it...  
Afraid that whatever hurt me would come back to open this door...

* * *

 _Revised: June 7, 2018_


	7. When One Door Closes

**Chapter 7 – When One Door Closes**

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

It's been a long, uneventful day.

I proclaimed my oath, yet again, for the umpteenth time.  
I dutifully went through training, and there's a lot more of it in the days ahead.

I'm like a mindless robot running through the same program over and over again.

A long time ago, when I was still a virgin to this world, that oath I recited this morning had meaning.

My training this afternoon used to have meaning.  
My relationships had meaning.  
My life—had meaning...

But I can feel that meaning slowly evaporate.

 _'Like a flu shot,'_ I say quietly to myself.

Back in my old world, as a child, I remember dreading the needle every year I had to visit the doctor.

My grandfather always made fun of me for it.

He had diabetes, you see.

As he grew older, until the day he passed, I became responsible for administering his insulin shots.  
Mom and dad were way too busy to spare time for me—let alone for grandfather.

Two times a day, I helped him with his injections.  
Before school and after.

One day, during one of his shots, I jokingly said to him, _'Grandfather, I never see you make a funny face during your injections. Maybe it's because you've had so many; you probably don't feel it sting anymore.'_

To which he responded:  
 _'Every shot is as painful as the last. But it keeps me alive until the next,_ _so what's a little extra pain in exchange for some more time with my grandson?'_

In the end, he died of old age, and I continued to see the doctor every year for my flu shot.  
Like my grandfather, the fear and pain of the needle had lost its meaning.

...

. . .

. . . .

What point was I trying to make exactly?  
I'm not really sure where I was headed with that train of thought.

Something about losing the meaning of my—

 _Ugh_ —I'm losing it alright.

It doesn't matter. I should be close to Yuuko-sensei's office by now.

But—the landscape in front of me doesn't remotely resemble the office.

 _'Why am I here_ — _?'_

My journey somehow came to an end on the steps of the gymnasium, and dark though it may be, I find myself soaking in the view of the track field.

Hold on a minute—I remember this evening, although I had never intended to visit it to begin with.

What has gotten over me?

I can't turn around to leave.  
I can't even scratch my head to demonstrate my confusion.

At this very moment—I feel like a spectator, rather than the actor, of my own life.

There are lapses in my memories of the events leading up to this...  
Was it because I was lost in thought, remembering the days of my grandfather?

Not really. I don't think so.

Because it wasn't as though I was oblivious to what I was doing.

Quite the contrary.

I could surely _see_ everything and everyone as I walked this way.  
But seeing—that is the extent of my abilities, for I have no authority over my actions.

My involuntary presence here is testimony to that.

. . .

 _'It's Meiya.'_

Taking a seat on the steps, I notice her outline approach me with apprehension.

If spectating my life is all I am allowed to do right now, then spectate I shall.

This was a pleasant encounter anyhow, from what I recall.

I can feel excitement build up within me at the prospect of dialogue with Meiya, even when I already know what it is our conversation will be about.

In every loop I've ever been through in this fucked up world.

No matter what choices I make.  
Actions I take.  
Or circumstances I create.

No matter how different the plot unfolds.  
Or the events are told.

There is one other than Sumika whose feelings will never, never change.

And in that constant that forever stays the same.  
Can I be still, my heart, finding solace in her name.

Mitsurugi Meiya.

This world isn't so messed up, as long as I can find you in it...

I surrender myself to the hand of fate that led me to this place, to this instance.

What else can it be, if not fate?

Try as I might to evade this moment, fate has designed that I must relive it.  
And I am but a subject to fate.

. . .

Time is the only distance between Meiya and I, and I eagerly await her narrow that distance.

Even under the scarce moonlight, there is no mistaking the indigo-crowned beauty...

Her noble demeanour...  
Her regal posture...  
Delicate stride...  
Articulate voice...

Another eternity will still not be enough for me to learn why she fell for Shirogane.

. . .

We are finally within each other's reach.

But the hand of fate that led me here is now the same one that betrays me.  
For in this moment, the moment when she nears me, my body forsakes my mind.

My own voice refuses to answer her when she repeatedly calls for me.  
Even my head disobeys my simple request to lift itself and face Meiya.

While I powerlessly watch her outstretched hand, my petrified body decides to act against my will and protect itself against the foreign invader.

Instinct takes over in self-defense as it forces me to recollect the horrors of the past and future.

The trauma—devours me...

And as my subconscious struggles for survival, my body loses its capacity to tell apart friend from foe.

It crushes the hand that was reaching out for me.

. . .

When I finally looked up at Meiya's face, the royal blue in her eyes had been replaced with the shade of terror.  
Her satin skin gleamed with perspiration.  
Her nose flared in strained breathing.  
And her lips twisted into a pained grimace.

But that wasn't on my mind at the time.

The only thing I was childishly thinking of was that I was holding Meiya's hand.

And for that one instant, I only wished to hold on to it for a bit longer.

But she woke me up from that delusion.

And now—she is gone.

. . .

I wanted to chase after Meiya as soon as she ran away...

I really did...

I...

Really...

But my body remains grounded where it is, still beholden to the trauma that had seized control of it earlier.

My temples pulsate through my head, chastising my body's inaction.

The lingering remnants of the pain in my left cheek, the cheek that Meiya slapped, has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

What have I done?

What have I done?

What have I done?

What have I done?

What have I done... to you?

Why did you scream, Meiya?  
Why did you hurt her, Takeru?

All I did was watch the horrible reality develop in front of me.

I don't even know what it is I put Meiya through.

I slapped her hand, and I held it for a while...  
So why do I shoulder a more sinister guilt for those actions?

. . .

. . .

. . .

I have to find her.  
I have to do right by her.

Whatever force it was that had taken hold of my body then no longer holds me now, so with great effort, I kick my feet off the ground and stand up to make a break for it.

The only place I can think of where she would be is her room.

There are a lot of places she can escape to—but no shelter would be as safe as her room.

...

. . .

. . . .

 **(? ? ?)**  
You! What are you running for—?

I rush past someone in the hallway, but I have no time to indulge the trivial affairs of anyone else.

...

. . .

. . . .

 **(Takeru)**  
Meiya!

Before long, I arrive at her doorstep.

This is the one.  
If she really is here, she should be on the other side...

Turning the knob, I invite myself in.

But it doesn't budge.

Not the knob—no.  
I mean that the door doesn't budge.

These doors don't have locks, so what's keeping it from opening?

 **(Takeru)**  
Meiya?!

 **(Meiya)**  
Stop yelling for me by my first name.  
Does it not occur to you how awfully rude that is?  
And has no one taught you how to knock,  
especially before you enter a lady's bedchambers?

Her faint voice reaches me from the other side.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm sorry—  
Mitsurugi-san, your door won't open.

 **(Meiya)**  
Because I will it to stay closed.  
Leave me be, Shirogane.  
I have no desire to talk to you in this condition.

 **(Takeru)**  
Mitsurugi-san.  
I'm—sorry, for what I did to you earlier.  
I—defended myself on impulse.  
By the time I realized it was you, I must've already hurt you.

 **(Meiya)**  
. . .

I take a deep breath.

I have to reach Meiya, just as she always reaches for me... in every single world...

Judging by the shadows underneath the door, I can safely guess that she's crouched and leaning on it from her end.

I take a seat on the floor as my back leans on mine.

Our backs are to each other—if not for the wall between us.

 **(Takeru)**  
Is... your hand feeling better?

I gently ask her, leaning my face closer to Meiya's.

 **(Meiya)**  
My hand is unhurt.

 _Huh?_

Her response catches me by surprise.  
In my traumatized stupor, I was convinced that I afflicted her hand.

 **(Takeru)**  
But did I not strike it? Did I not I crush it with my own hand?

 **(Meiya)**  
You did strike it.  
But I am not so weak that such a strike would send me running.

Meiya's voice is void of emotion.

 **(Takeru)**  
You're right... What is it, then?  
It's just... I'm new here... so I had my guard up...  
My instincts took a hold of me.  
It must've thought of you as an enemy...

There is nothing else I can tell her aside from the truth, even if the truth doesn't make sense.  
Not from her point of view.

 **(Meiya)**  
That is a lie, is it not?

A lie? What part of it is a lie—

 **(Takeru)**  
No, I wouldn't lie to you—

 **(Meiya)**  
Shush this pitiful apology!  
You must leave, Shirogane, before my neighbours complain about the loud noises.

Whatever contemptible ache I have inflicted on Meiya, I feel it approaching beyond repair.

Never have I seen Meiya as distressed, and hostile, as she is now...

Is it possible that it wasn't just her hand that I hurt?

 **(Takeru)**  
Meiya, did you see something—?

 **(? ? ?)**  
You there! Will you really make me chase you for so long?

That compelling voice—is the same one that called for me earlier in the hallway.  
And now that I've listened to it more closely, I realize it's a voice I'd never have expected to encounter this early on.

My head turns in its direction.

Isumi.

Michiru.

Her stern eyes, the colour of cherry, glowers at me where I sit.

What in the world... is she doing...

In a place like this?  
At this time of night?

 **(Michiru)**  
Identify yourself, cadet. Your behaviour is reckless and reprehensible.

Oh—so I'm in trouble for completely ignoring her in the hallway.

 _Damn_.

I must've looked suspicious, the way I was running away from her like that.

My first impulse is to run away again.

Not because I fear punishment, but because I'm ashamed to face the Captain in my disgraceful condition.

But I'm through with running—I promised myself.  
If I run away now, I may never end up keeping that promise.

Besides, I can't leave Meiya behind. Not like this.  
I have to protect what's behind this door.

 **(Takeru)**  
Shirogane... Takeru,  
Ma'am!

I quickly stand up and pose a respectful salute, which she acknowledges promptly.

Still, she looms closer and closer.

 **(Takeru)**  
I wasn't running away from you, Ma'am;  
I apologize for causing a misunderstanding.  
I came here to talk to one of my squadmates, and I was in a hurry.

Without hesitation, I tell her in honesty, hoping to diffuse the impending danger.

 **(Michiru)**  
Oh—?

She stops in her tracks.

 **(Michiru)**  
You must be the individual the Professor is calling for?  
I'd been told I wouldn't have a hard time finding you.  
She wasn't exaggerating, then.  
 _Hoh_ —I'm in luck.

Her face relaxes, and so does mine.

 **(Michiru)**  
Cadet Shirogane, I've been instructed to escort you to the Professor.  
Follow me, stat. It sounds like an urgent matter.

 **(Takeru)**  
Y–yes Ma'am!

Reluctance holds me back as I turn to face the door that wouldn't open for me.

My fingers reach for it one last time, but they stop just before it touches.

 **(Takeru)**  
Meiya...  
Someday... I hope you can forgive me...  
For however I have wronged you...

I whisper longingly...

 **(Meiya)**  
Shirogane?

Did she hear me?

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm still here, Mitsurugi-san.

 **(Meiya)**  
Do not speak to me...  
Ever.  
Again.

* * *

 **Michiru**

* * *

Without skipping a beat, Prof. Kouzuki begins her speech:

 **(Yuuko)**  
Michiru, I need you to pick someone up for me.  
He has an appointment, but since he's new,  
I'm worried he might not know how to find me.

 **(Michiru)**  
Dear me.  
I came rushing over here because you paged me with something as apocalyptic as  
 _'Alternative IV has an extremely urgent mission!'  
_ I nearly called the whole cavalry for this, you know?

I haven't even caught my breath yet.  
I'm still panting from running all the way over here.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Don't mimic me like that!

Her hand waves an invisible wand.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I wasn't lying.  
The outcome of Alternative IV is at stake!

 **(Michiru)**  
But you say that about every mission—

 **(Yuuko)**  
In fact, you may end up having to call everyone after all.  
His name is Shirogane Takeru.  
Find him and bring him here—ten minutes ago.  
He's late by that much.

This time, her finger taps the invisible watch on her wrist.

 **(Michiru)**  
Ten minutes ago? But you only called for me just now.  
Wait—  
How are we even supposed to find this—Shirogane Takeru?

 **(Yuuko)**  
You won't have trouble finding him;  
he's a very loud individual.  
Well—in more ways than one.

Fearing more time would be wasted if I fished for more information, I leave right in the middle of her delirious laughter.

I won't bother rallying up the others for such a mundane 'mission'.  
Or maybe I should assign this to someone else instead?

It's so simple, though, albeit bothersome.  
If I can do this myself, I can put an end to it.

I pat down the creases on my uniform and start walking.

Where do I begin?

Since he's a cadet, I can perhaps start with the PX.  
It's a popular venue for squads to spend time with each other.  
Of course—it's also late in the night, so they may have already left.

But I figure I have to start somewhere.

Normally, I'd spend some time complaining to myself about the Professor's whims and fancies.  
Sometimes she sends us on suicide missions, while other missions are—well... like this one.

But I have grown out of that.

I'd been assigned a task, and I will complete it.  
That is all there is to it.

This is the attitude one must adopt when working under the Professor.

I still have to work on the schedule for 207-A's mock battles next week.  
It's been keeping me busy all afternoon, well into the evening.

On the one hand, everyone's been enjoying the shortage of missions the past two months.  
Two months is ample time to regroup after our recent losses.  
We've also been able to focus on strategizing and implementing the new members to our ranks.

And.

On the other hand—is First Lt. Hayase Mitsuki, who right now, in the peak of her withdrawal syndrome, is famished for battle.

So the simulations next week _have_ to happen, if only for my Storm Vanguard's sanity.

I sigh in plain delight.

Sometimes I impress even myself, for being capable of leading such a rag-tag team of misfits.

As I take out the notebook from my front pocket, a blur of light dashes past me.

 _*woosh*_

I didn't get to properly identify whom it was, but they are quite a fast runner.

When I say that, I really mean—I have never seen anyone run as fast, not in all my years of living.

If they had bumped into me, one, or both of us, could've been seriously injured in the collision.

I call out to the person responsible.

Or rather—the irresponsible person.

But my words fall onto deaf ears.

The nerve–!

I better catch the culprit and knock some sense into them.  
Such behaviour could really hurt other people next time.  
And if I can put a stop to that recklessness tonight, I may prevent a future accident.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Yo Captain! What're you in a hurry for?  
You can seriously hurt someone with your reckless running in the hallways.

I catch a glimpse of Mitsuki and Haruka emerging from the corner.  
They're both headed toward the barracks, it would seem.

 **(Michiru)**  
No time to talk.  
Important mission.  
Good night!

I concisely dismiss them in case I lose sight of my target.

My pursuit continues.

...

. . .

 _Hmm_ , the culprit is en route to the barracks as well.

...

. . .

. . . .

I catch another glimpse of the tail end of the culprit, turning around the corner, on the far side of this hallway.

How much farther are they going to run away just to escape me?  
I will absolutely not let them escape.

And the longer this takes, the worse the punishment.

. . .

 _*sigh*_

 _So... that's how we arrived at this moment._

 **(Michiru)**  
Cadet! I said follow me.

He's still lagging behind, speaking to the voice on the other side of that door.

It's strange that they're conversing through the walls, though at the same time, I feel thankful.  
I never would've found him had he been invited inside the room.

 **(Takeru)**  
Right away, Captain!

 **(Michiru)**  
 _Huh_? How can you tell I'm a Captain?

Was that a guess? Or did he learn that from the Professor?

 **(Takeru)**  
Oh, _uh_ —no... _uhmm_...  
I can see the stripes on your epaulettes.

 **(Michiru)**  
Is that so?

I narrow my eyes at the blatant lie.

Only now has he been close enough to see the wings on my uniform, yet he called me Captain from a distance.

So he hasn't heard about me from the Professor, else that would be the first reason he would state.

But it's also quite a stretch for it to be just a lucky guess.

Or maybe I'm reading into this too much.

No matter.  
I found him, so I have to focus my attention on bringing him to the XO.

 **(Michiru)**  
Cadet—

 **(Takeru)**  
Please, call me by my name.

 **(Michiru)**  
 _Ah,_ sure.

Wait, what was his name again—?

 **(Michiru)**  
Don't take offense to my question,  
but what does a new cadet like you have to do with the Professor's research?

 **(Takeru)**  
It's... classified...

 _Eh?_

That is not an answer I'd expected to hear, especially from a cadet.  
A new recruit shouldn't be privy to—well, any kind—of classified information.

Is he well aware of Alternative IV?

I have an uncertain feeling he knows more about me than he lets on.

Though we are ranking officers, STF A-01's identities are not widespread knowledge, even in this base.

So if he does know me, I shouldn't rule out the possibility that he may be knowingly participating in our project.

And here I thought the Professor was joking about Alternative IV being involved in their appointment this evening.

 **(Michiru)**  
Very well.

I can't let these thoughts distract me.  
Again, I have other things to take care of right away.  
Schedules, simulations, mock battles.

So I start walking faster to bring this 'mission' to its conclusion.

 **(Takeru)**  
Captain?

I look to my side to confront his inquiring eyes.

 **(Michiru)**  
What is it?

 **(Takeru)**  
I believe we got off on the wrong foot.  
Please allow me to formally introduce myself,  
so you won't have to keep calling me 'cadet'.  
I'm Shirogane Takeru of Squad 207-B.

 _Ah—_ he noticed.

I didn't forget his name at all!

The last ten minutes had happened quickly, and I was pretty agitated for the most of it.

But I didn't forget—of course not!

 **(Michiru)**  
I know your name, Shirogane.

I lift my chin up to look more convincing.  
But I don't think it's helping my cause.

 **(Michiru)**  
Did you say 207?  
I've heard a lot about that squad.  
You must be familiar with Suzumiya Akane?

Her squadron graduated very recently, and I'd been told B-squad didn't make it due to internal strife.

That's disappointing to hear, considering how highly Jinguuji-kyoukan spoke of their individual prowess.

 **(Takeru)**  
I've heard about her and Kashiwagi Haruko from my squadmates.

 **(Michiru)**  
I believe Second Lts. Tsukiji, Takahara, and Asakura were also in the same group.  
So you haven't actually met any of them, then?

 **(Takeru)**  
I... only joined this base two days ago.

Oh, so he wasn't a part of B-squad's original failure in the exams.  
But he hasn't exactly answered my initial question about meeting those from A-squad.

Nevertheless...

 **(Michiru)**  
So you really are new.  
Well then—allow me to return the favour, Shirogane.  
My name is Isumi Michiru.  
As you had deduced, I'm a Captain of one of the units in this base.  
I'm not able to tell you anything beyond that.

 **(Takeru)**  
Then we both have something in common.

 **(Michiru)**  
What would that be?

 **(Takeru)**  
Secrets we are unable to share.

His secret?  
 _Hmm_ , I am now curious as to what it is.

Classified appointments, knowing 207-A squad, who knows what else he's hiding?  
If he hadn't brought it up, I wouldn't have thought twice about it.

I'm sure he must also be equally curious as to what my secret is.

However, he hasn't pressed any further.  
Is that out of courtesy, or is it because—he already knows it?

This may be a one-sided commonality, Shirogane.

 **(Takeru)**  
I look forward to fighting alongside you, Captain.

 **(Michiru)**  
I hope we both live long enough so that day may come.  
. . .

We're almost halfway to the XO's office at this point.  
But for some reason, I slow down my pace.  
I have a mysterious urge to keep talking like this.

 **(Michiru)**  
Shirogane?

 **(Takeru)**  
Yes Ma'am?

 **(Michiru)**  
First of all, you don't have to be so formal with me.

 **(Takeru)**  
Yes... Ma'am...

I'll let that one slide for now.

 **(Michiru)**  
So—how's your training coming along?

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

He turns silent.  
Perhaps he isn't one for idle conversation.

I shouldn't have tried—

 **(Takeru)**  
I must be honest with you: I'm finding it—useless.

Well, now I regret asking him the question.

I smile at him through my teeth, not knowing of another way to respond.

 _Ahh_. The arrogance of youth.

I once had what he has—when I was a new recruit myself.

An immortality complex.  
Like I can conquer the world.  
Like I had a long life ahead of me.

But soon, he will have to face reality, just as I had to.

I only hope he survives while doing so.

Composing myself, I resume this line of conversation.

 **(Michiru)**  
And why do you think training is useless?  
The skills you learn will help you against the enemy, you know.

 **(Takeru)**  
I might've phrased that too abrasively.

He rubs his temple, his light brown hair swinging to the motion of our march.

He goes on.

 **(Takeru)**  
I mean to say,  
that in a previous life, I went through similar, if not more extensive, training.  
It'd almost be comparable to say that I used to climb mountains,  
whereas now, I'm climbing anthills.

' _Previous life_.'

He must be a romanticist.  
I suppose he means to say that he transferred from another base?

 **(Michiru)**  
That is quite the picture you've drawn in my head.  
You must've had an impressive training regimen.  
But I have a feeling you're missing the point of the whole program.

 **(Takeru)**  
Actually, I do know why it's important for me to stay with my squad...

 **(Michiru)**  
Let me hear it.  
Why do you believe you're here?

I would be pleasantly surprised if he knew exactly why we all go through the same training program.

Sure—officers retain their ranks and titles upon transfer.  
But that isn't the case with new cadets.

No cadet is an exception—no matter how remarkable their circumstances may be.  
And I'm glad it is the way it is.

I might be just about to impart some conventional wisdom to this fresh recruit.

 **(Takeru)**  
I have a personal duty... to the people in my squad...

He says that with a tone of sincerity.

Words escape me.  
Once again—I hear an answer... I never would've expected...

How am I supposed to respond to that?

 **(Michiru)**  
If—if it is personal, I will not pry too much into your reasons.  
However, allow me to offer you... a simpler... answer...

The conventional answer.

 **(Michiru)**  
You may be, as you say, fully trained, Shirogane.  
And it may also be that your individual training here is indeed futile.  
But no soldier is sent out there to fight alone.  
Do you know why you are placed in a squad?  
It's not just because it's faster to train soldiers in groups—

 **(Takeru)**  
Of course.  
By training with the same people, you get to understand each other.  
In a real battle, the words that are unsaid are a faster form of communication than those actually said.  
People who've trained together know each other's mannerisms, habits, thought processes, and all that kinds of stuff.  
So it becomes easier to fight alongside one another.

I can feel my eyebrows rise in fascination.

 **(Michiru)**  
Yes... It seems there is little to teach you in that regard.

I would've said it with a tad more elegance, but he covered almost all of it.

Almost.

 **(Michiru)**  
So, how do you view your squadmates right now?  
Judging by how highly you think of yourself,  
it sounds like you consider them a—burden?

 **(Takeru)**  
No—I wouldn't say that about them.

 **(Michiru)**  
Don't be shy about it. I can see it in your face.

It's becoming easier to read him by his expressions, especially when what he says contradicts what he thinks.

 **(Takeru)**  
No, really—it's just... very difficult... to explain.  
But, we have a... special connection, them and I.

He has already established a 'special connection'?  
I thought he's only been here for two days?

You're a fast worker, Shirogane.

 **(Michiru)**  
Try me.  
You won't be able to explain at all if you don't begin somewhere.

 **(Takeru)**  
I have a lot of talent, and skills, I know I can share with them.  
However—it takes time, and I want to speed things up, but I have no idea how.  
The only method I can think of is by being me.  
I don't want to hold myself back just so they don't feel bad about themselves.  
When they run ten clicks, I run twenty—with full gear on...  
I want them to take it as a challenge and push themselves further.  
But I fear that if I push them _too_ hard,  
one of these days, I'd become a challenge they couldn't overcome.  
When that time comes, they may feel inadequate, lose heart, and give up.  
So, I have to be slow... not for my sake, but for theirs.

He's carrying too much responsibility on his shoulders, just like a certain someone I know all too well...

I guess he wasn't lying.

To him, his squad isn't a burden, per se.  
Even when they hold him back.

I can't speak as to the heart of his squadmates, so there is little advice I can provide in that regard.

But considering the stories I'd been told by Akane and Jinguuji-kyoukan, he may be severely underestimating the strength of their characters.

No—that's putting it wrongly.

He doesn't think little of them.

He just—doesn't know their limits, so he's afraid of breaking their spirits in his ambition to 'speed things up'.

What a delicate subject.  
Thus, I must proceed delicately.

 **(Michiru)**  
The reason for your hurry is a conversation for another time;  
it sounds like you have a deadline of some sort.  
But if I may offer some advice,  
how about you proceed with a different approach?

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

His head perches attentively.

 **(Michiru)**  
In your own words,  
you wish to hasten everyone's training,  
but you're afraid of pushing them too hard

 **(Takeru)**  
That about sums it up.

He nods in approval.

 **(Michiru)**  
So—if you don't want to push them, try pulling them.

I say while smiling.

 **(Takeru)  
** Excuse me if this sounds stupid,  
but—what's the difference?

The way he reacted might make one think I spoke to him in a different language.  
Must I spoon-feed you everything, Shirogane?

 **(Michiru)**  
Allow me to demonstrate.  
Stand in front of me and show me your back.

He obeys diligently.

Now that his back is to me, I gently push him forward.

 **(Michiru)**  
. . .

His back—it's robust... and well built...  
I sense the qualities of a reliable soldier...

 **(Takeru)**  
Captain, we'll hit the wall soon if you keep pushing.

Someone I can count on...

 **(Michiru)**  
. . .

I've been ignoring his warnings intentionally, by the way.

 **(Takeru)**  
Captain—!

We eventually end up hitting the wall.

I am unharmed, of course.

But I can assure you—that Shirogane is feeling something right now.

I didn't have to go so far.  
We could've stopped just in front of the wall.

But I thought it'd be funny.  
Plus, this is payback for making me chase after him earlier.

And hopefully, he associates this pain with the lesson I am about to teach him.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Ughh_. That hurt.  
You didn't even slow down.

Shirogane rubs his cheek, which is turning a light purple from the impact.

 **(Michiru)**  
Well, I couldn't see where I was going,  
and you didn't know where I wanted to lead you.  
You also had no option but to match my pace.  
Do you follow so far?

 **(Takeru)**  
Painfully so.

I can't help but grin at his comical show.

Pressing forward.

 **(Michiru)**  
Alright then.  
This time, lend me your hand.

I hold on to his outstretched hand.

Together, we continue walking like this toward the Professor's room.

 **(Michiru)**  
. . .

 **(Takeru)**  
Captain, I think I understand now.

 **(Michiru)**  
What _do_ you understand?

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Uhmm_ —you can see where you want to lead me,  
so I don't have to be afraid of running into any more walls.  
We can also walk in any pace we want now.  
Yeah—I feel more comfortable following you this way.  
Your approach... is far more effective...  
I've been too simple-minded this whole time.  
You... your unit... must really look up to you.

 **(Michiru)**  
Don't make such embarrassing remarks!

I can feel my cheeks flush in an awkward display.

I try to shake it off, but he had already seen it.

 **(Takeru)**  
From here on out, I'll try guiding my squad by pulling them instead.  
But—how do I begin?

 _*sigh*_

And here I was just about to become more hopeful for this greenhorn.

My eyes close for a brief moment, carefully pondering the proper way to share what's on my mind.

 **(Michiru)**  
For starters, help your squadmates lift themselves up.  
Instead of running twenty clicks by yourself in full gear,  
try running alongside them for ten.  
When they reach ten,  
tell them to keep on going.  
To eleven...  
To twelve...  
Until they can no longer run.  
Pull them towards their limits, and shatter those limits for them.  
Limits only exist because our minds place them there for us.  
Oftentimes it takes someone on the outside to make us realize that.  
Be that 'person on the outside' for them.

 **(Takeru)**  
That... is true...

 **(Michiru)**  
And it doesn't matter what it is you're coaching them.  
Stand beside them—  
Not in front of them, not behind them—  
And pull them forward with you.  
Remedy their bad habits and instill in them the good.  
Who knows? You may have fun doing so.

He scratches his head as he questions:

 **(Takeru)**  
I get the part about not pushing behind them from the first demo,  
but why can I not be in front?

 **(Michiru)**  
Then they'd be eating your dust, now wouldn't they?

I thought that should be self-explanatory?

 **(Takeru)**  
Oh, right.  
That might be... difficult... for me...  
Nevertheless, I'll try to do as you say.

 _Huh_? What's so difficult about that?

 **(Michiru)**  
By the way, there's one more thing.

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

 **(Michiru)**  
If you can accomplish all that, one day they might trust you.  
Relationships are founded on trust.  
No man is an island, Shirogane.  
You'll want as many people watching your back out there,  
and they'll only do that if they know you're watching theirs.

He suddenly starts chuckling to himself.

 **(Takeru)**  
You are... absolutely right...  
I'll work on that, Captain...  
I'll pull my squad with me even if my shoulders rip from their sockets.  
And I look forward to the day I regain their trust.

 _'Re...gain'_?

Did he really say, regain—and not, gain?

 _Hmm_. How curious.

His free hand is pumped in the air. Confidence has returned to his voice.

As I face in his direction, I see him smiling at me.  
I turn my head away to avoid another awkward scenario.

I'm glad I helped, even by just a little.

 **(Michiru)**  
Training doesn't sound so bad anymore, does it?

I return the smile with one of my own.

 **(Takeru)**  
Thank you.  
For helping me find meaning once again.

Shirogane utters something nonsensical.

Oh! I just thought of something—fun!

Plus, this should also take care of the issue with my battle-crazed Storm Vanguard One.  
This is perfect! Talk about shooting two birds with one stone.

Before I proceed, I clear my throat and comb off some loose hair to the back of my ears.

 **(Michiru)**  
By the way, Shirogane.  
Earlier, you hurled an insult at the entire base.

 **(Takeru)**  
No, I would never do something like that—

 **(Michiru)**  
But of course you did.

I shrink my eyes as I look at him, mischief written all over it.

 **(Michiru)**  
You called our training program an anthill.

He smacks his face as he reclaims his words.

 **(Takeru)**  
Oh, right... I did say that... But I didn't mean—

 **(Michiru)**  
Would you care to listen to a challenge I shall propose?

Of course—there's no way I can let him get away with saying things like that.

It's time to teach the rookie a lesson in humility.

 **(Takeru)**  
A challenge?  
Captain—pardon me, but I didn't mean to sound arrogant.  
You'd only be wasting your time with my silly spurs.

He pleads with determination.

As I said—you're not weaseling out of this one, Shirogane.

My eyes shrink even narrower as I continue my tease.

 **(Michiru)**  
First you insult my base,  
which also means you think little of the soldiers in it,  
including me and my unit.  
And now—you don't have the guts to back up such a bold statement?  
The least you can do to apologize is listen to my challenge.

I shake my head, pretending to be disappointed to provoke him a little, my hair swaying in tune.

He seems to be one who falls for such taunts.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Ah_ —very well...

Now we're getting somewhere!

I lay down the terms of the challenge.

 **(Michiru)**  
You, versus one of my soldiers,  
in the simulators,  
tomorrow evening,  
an hour after supper.

 **(Takeru)**  
—?!

Don't give me such a questioning look!

You heard every word I had said!

 **(Michiru)**  
I believe it safe to assume you've at least reached the simulators in your previous recruitment.  
If you can defeat one of my soldiers, I'll give you something as a reward.

If he hasn't reached the simulators, then he might as well admit defeat and pay his punishment.

Though the truth is—at this time, I can't think of a prize for him.

I'd been feeling a rush the way this conversation has been turning.  
I was hoping something would pop up by the time I brought it up.

Nothing has come to mind as of yet.

 **(Takeru)**  
What prize would that be—?

 **(Michiru)**  
But if you lose, you'd have to apologize to the whole base for what you called them.

 **(Takeru)**  
No way—they don't even know what I said!

 **(Michiru)**  
But they _will_...  
 _Everyone will know,_  
should you lose tomorrow's challenge...  
Why else would you have to issue a base-wide apology?

The final nail is in the coffin.

Shirogane pauses a while, then finally says,

 **(Takeru)**  
That's blackmail.

 **(Michiru)**  
Not really, it's— _humility_.

I shrug my shoulders alongside my stoic response.

The rookie retreats in silence, I assume he's thinking about it at length.

 **(Takeru)**  
Since you made no mention of one,  
may I ask for my prize, in the event that I win?

 **(Michiru)**  
Oh? You think you can win?  
Fine, I shall listen to your request.

There's no way this greenhorn can win against any of the Valkyries; I should humour him anyway.

 **(Takeru)**  
Introduce me to your unit.

 _Huh_?

How—simple...

I was thinking of something more... extravagant... considering what he has to lose.

However...

 **(Michiru)**  
That may be beyond the scope of my authority.  
Even a Captain has to take orders from those up above.

 **(Takeru)**  
Just introduce me.  
You won't have to tell me anything besides that.  
Exchanging names will suffice.

I've placed the odds heavily against him.

At the very least, I can take his request into consideration.

 **(Michiru)**  
I'll think about it...

 **(Takeru)**  
That's good enough for me.  
By the way, we've arrived.

My pupils trace the direction his finger is pointing.  
It ends at the door to the Professor's office.

It seems I have been overly enjoying our conversation to notice this.  
I wonder how long we'd been standing here.

Shirogane cuts our silence.

 **(Takeru)**  
You can leave me now, Captain.  
I can take care of myself from here.  
And— _uh_... you're still holding my hand.

 _Ah!_ I just realized I'm still grasping it from before.

I let go, coolly as I can.  
Then I brush off the make-believe dust on the shoulders of my uniform.

Hopefully, he'd still think of it as part of the demonstration.

 **(Michiru)**  
U–until tomorrow, then.  
I shall see you in the simulator room.

This new recruit has a lot of promise.  
I hope we do end up fighting side by side in the future.

As I leave to tend to my own duties—

 **(Takeru)**  
Captain.

I swing my head around to face him again.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _'Even if my own life is what is most precious to me,_  
 _I can't protect it by myself.'_  
Thank you... for reminding me...

I return his salute.

Turning one more time to make my exit, I ask myself, _'Who exactly departed wisdom to whom tonight?'_

* * *

 _Revised: September 19, 2018_


	8. Schwanengesang

**Chapter 8 — Schwanengesang**

* * *

 **Yuuko**

* * *

Where in the universe is he?

I finally heard their voices coming from just outside my door, but Shirogane has yet to make his entrance. And the murmurs have died down in the last little while.

My eyes slightly shift to the right to glance at the only clock in this room, the one on my computer screen.

 _'Why don't I have an analogue clock like everyone else?'_ you might be wondering.

Spare me your curiosity.

I simply cannot stand the constant _tick-tick-tick-ticks_ coming from the sweeping hands of those archaic pieces of technology.

That noise is too reminiscent of an approaching deadline...  
Or a ticking time bomb...  
Or Alternative V...

 _Agghh_ —why'd you have to bring that up?

. . .

Quarter past ten, according to the timekeep.

Exactly one hour has passed since I sent out Michiru.  
She sure is taking her time with this order.

I'm usually able to count on her to accomplish whatever task I assign her to, so, perchance, Shirogane is to blame for this current hold-up?

I was mistaken to think of him as a man.  
Real men don't leave ladies waiting like this.

What's that, you say?  
Of course I'm a lady!

What do you mean I don't act like one?  
You're getting on my nerves too...

I've had enough of this—

With exasperation, I slam a stack of papers on my desk and tread towards the door.  
The individual sheets flutter about the air as I walk past.

Shirogane will have to be dragged by the ear for the way he's making me misspend my valuable time.

If Patience were to take the form of us mortals, she would be past her limit as well, so do not fault me for reaching mine.

I don't even think I have any more time to scold him.  
That may be why he's delaying his arrival like this.

But this game of escapism will not work on me.  
There is no one who can evade my wrath—I mean, discipline.

As soon as the reinforced doors slide open, I launch my reproach,

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shirogane! Did you really think you can keep me waiting for so long—?!

But there's no one to receive it on this side of the room.

Hmh? I'm certain that I'd heard them just a few minutes prior.  
Why would they come all this way, only to leave?

. . .

Of course—because they wouldn't.

Don't you worry, I'm a genius.  
I know what I'm doing.

I pocket my hands in my lab coat, marching to where Shirogane has to be.

Another set of steel doors opens sideways after scanning my security ID.  
Click-clack goes the sound of my heels all throughout this secluded hallway, making apparent my presence.

Sure enough, I locate the fugitive in the 00 Unit's chambers.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shirogane?

He's sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the pedestal of the brain's glass case.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei? I—hope you don't mind...  
I only planned to stay here for a short while...

 **(Yuuko)**  
It appears we have very different perceptions of 'a short while'.

My fingers arch in the air to emphasize the quotations.

I initially hypothesized that he had come here looking for Yashiro, but I'm beginning to doubt that supposition.

 **(Yuuko)**  
If you're looking for Yashiro,  
did I not tell you I'd call for you when she is well?

 **(Takeru)**  
So you called for me in such an urgent manner,  
even using the captain of your Special Task Force,  
only to tell me Kasumi is still in the infirmary?

Shirogane's voice is annoyed and unimpressed.

He also properly identified Michiru.

It was a passing idea that came to me at the time—but I wanted to triple-check just how much he knows about the entirety of Alternative.

Every effort I place into challenging Shirogane's integrity comes back empty-handed.  
Perhaps it is time for me to move forward and place my trust in him?

No—not quite yet.  
We've barely just begun, and the road ahead of me is long and arduous.

But hold on a second—what did you tell him, Michiru?!

 **(Yuuko)**  
'Urgently'?  
Michiru must've exaggerated a little bit.  
I wasn't in any hurry at all.

I coolly shrug off the white lie.

Anyway—we shouldn't be spending any more time on the minor details, not when there are more essential matters to attend to.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shall we continue this conversation in the next room?

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

Shirogane hugs one knee and leans the back of his head on the container.

 **(Takeru)**  
No, please.  
We can talk like this.

He must still possess an attachment to the owner of that brain.

I will not presume to know the history the two of them share.

My data is limited to words on paper and Yashiro's projections, both of which were sparse at the outset.

But, surely—Shirogane must be aware of the only ending in store for it.  
To fulfill the Alternative plans.

That is a future he has no say in.  
Because I, myself, will make it happen.

The culmination of Alternative IV.

The 00 Unit—humanity's ultimate weapon.

Demands the death of that brain.

However, according to the flashforwards I'm inheriting from Shirogane, the lingering affections between them will be important in taming the 00 Unit.

So, for now, it may be in my best interest to leave them to it.

 **(Yuuko)**  
If you're more comfortable this way, then I have no complaints.

 **(Takeru)**  
Thank you.

Maybe I should start off on a light note and inform him of Yashiro's present condition.

I had spent the most part of the afternoon at her bedside.  
Yashiro still hasn't woken up, though her vitals are stable.

However, I'd be lying to you and Shirogane were I to insist that she is healthy.

Because occasionally, under no determined schedule, her heartbeat rises to dangerous levels, and she stops breathing for minutes at a time.

You can imagine the panic this besets on the doctors and nurses.  
And on me—admittedly.

Since yesterday, this anomaly has occurred three times.  
I was only there to witness her latest episode.

My best assumption is that Yashiro is experiencing nightmares.

Now—this may sound trivial to you.  
After all, who doesn't have nightmares from time to time?

But if you were well-versed in Yashiro's rich biography, you should therefore understand that this isn't natural for an esper like Trista Sestina.

Having no memories of her own, she is unable to dream.

For dreams cannot take shape without a memory to associate it from.

And even if Yashiro can somehow conjure one, she can't inscribe it in her own memories.

Ultimately—her dream is forgotten.  
Probably drifted aloof into some ephemeral dimension.

Don't ask me why she is the way she is.  
This is not a field of study even a genius like myself am fully capable of comprehending.

You'll have to find out from Yashiro herself.

At any rate, that's beside the point—  
Shirogane needs only know that Yashiro is well.

 **(Yuuko)**  
So—

I try to begin, but I am rudely interrupted.

 **(Takeru)**  
Something is off, sensei.

Oh, I guess we're having the conversation your way.

Not my way.

 _That_ is what is off.

As much as I want to humour myself by expressing that out loud, I decide I shall allow him a turn to speak.

 **(Yuuko)**  
What makes you come to that conclusion?

I look for a comfortable spot to sit in the room.

There aren't that many chairs in here. Actually—there aren't any chairs at all.  
This room isn't designed for regular occupancy.

I settle for the nearest table and sit on top of it.

 **(Takeru)**  
It's different... this time...  
Little things have been happening that haven't happened to me before.  
I seem to have no control over the Conductor.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Control? Over the Causality Conductor? _Hah!_  
How exactly had you planned to control it in the first place?

Hearing that almost made me burst out in laughter.

Controlling the Causality Conductor is far beyond the realms of men and women.  
To hear him say something so ludicrous—!

 **(Takeru)**  
Previously, I only received the memories of the future when a moment in the present triggers it.

 _Hmm_. That coincides with my causality theory so far.

Ordinary people more commonly refer to that sensation as _deja vu_.  
The crux of _deja vu_ is that it offers a peek at the causality information of a neighbouring world; a momentary window into the alternate realities.

Some people can experience that sensation several times more strongly than others, in addition to being able to tell apart the authentic causality information from the false.

For ease of understanding, think of false causalities as dreams, or wishes, or prayers—  
Because that's all they are.

We have the ability to perceive them, but by no means is that proof of their ability to give cause to a future effect. And in the off-chance that they do—coincidence and causality have different definitions, mind you.

Alternative IV, and my Quantum Causality Theory, only deals in _authentic_ causality information—not in fantasies and imagination.

Being able to see through these windows, and to pick the finest reality out of the infinite possibilities.

To perform the actions (the _cause_ ) that result in humanity's triumph (the _effect_ )—

That is the ability of utmost importance for the 00 Unit.

Besides, the 00 Unit may be our last shot at victory (or survival; the two go hand in hand in this world)—why not have such a supernatural ability for our cardinal weapon?

Every single person in my Special Task Force is handpicked by yours truly.  
So—yes, they all have that ability to an extent.

I will not leak to you our methods as to how we quantify that extent.  
Although—I have given you a substantial clue. Make of it what you will.  
I may reveal it to you later, should I feel like it.

 _Hmm_?

Shirogane?

What about Shirogane?

Oh—I don't have his charts as of yet.  
We won't be measuring his ability until the near future.

What difference would it make, anyway?  
He already is a Causality Conductor.

And frankly, we are now playing a whole new ball game ever since this Causality Conductor wandered into our hands.

This archive of future causalities is now under my direction, so the world of infinite possibilities has been multiplied by another infinity.

As I've confessed to you earlier, it's not as simple as asking Shirogane for that information.

 _'I absolutely cannot rule out the possibility that he will speak falsely in his quest for his perfect world.'_

However, I can harness this resource in other ways.

For instance—I've been devising a procedure to use him to develop the 00 Unit's abilities.  
I've already begun that experiment on Squad 207-B.

Yes yes yes.

I told Shirogane some gibberish about it being the only means for 207-B to retrieve the causality information of their past training and become world-class soldiers.

I did not lie in that—so rest easy.

That is but the tip of the iceberg.

If this experiment turns out to be successful, and I can ascertain that he is indeed bridging 207-B's otherworldly selves, then I can use it on the 00 Unit and its potential candidates.

I have more confidence and control over my own special squadron, after all.  
So—if we can amplify their ability, I wouldn't have to depend on Shirogane as much.

We have already established that being physically near the Causality Conductor as often as possible is one manner of accomplishing that.

But I'm learning that it raises more problems than it's worth; problems such as the quantity and reliability of the causality information being passed on.

Quantity is an issue, because the candidates will have to sort through a lot more extra information.

Picture this:

If we were in a game show, and I, as the host, gave you one minute to search between a set of doors.

Behind one of them is a prize—your dream come true (money, love, power, I don't care what you wish for).

Would you rather have three doors to look through, or sixty?

One minute is plenty of time to skim through three doors, whereas sixty doors give you only one second to look into each of them.

There is no way you'd wholly search behind a door in one second, try as you might, lie as you try.

I guess you could get lucky and find the prize within the first ten doors, but when has luck ever been on your side?

And even if you did find the 'prize' behind the tenth door, what if I told you an even greater prize was waiting for you behind the sixtieth door?  
The only way you would've figured that out by yourself is if you had searched through all sixty doors.

Only then would you be able to determine the prize that is best to you.

So by all means, you have a better chance of winning with only three doors to search.

The case is similar when picking out the ideal causality information.

The less options there are to choose from, the faster the 00 Unit candidates can process the causalities.

Thus, in this regard, it is counter-intuitive to make Shirogane provide them with more windows to look into than necessary.

The other problem is reliability—because, in my case, I have yet to find tangible evidence that the information I'm receiving is any accurate...  
This, I will have to put to the test, and I would rather sooner than later.

I cannot risk the 00 Unit choosing a future that leads to the extinction of human civilization, even if that probability were a fraction of a fraction of a percentage.

I may sometimes be a gambler, but it's only when the odds are in my favour.

Of course, I can resolve all these problems if only I make a breakthrough with the quantum computer.

Every Alternative plan has so far been an attempt at communication with the BETA.

So why am I—Kouzuki Yuuko.

World-renowned physicist.

 _Genius_ —extraordinaire.

Specializing in Quantum Causality Theory.

Involved in a seemingly unrelated jurisdiction?

You see, the 00 Unit is yet another instrument in achieving the Alternative plan's goal.

Aside from the silicon-constructed body, its objective is no different from the espers used in Alternative III.

However—its underlying purpose is where I come in.

I am entrusted with ensuring that it has the highest chance for success.

I'm talking about 100% success rate.

There is no room for failure.

 _This is our swan song._

I've already demonstrated how we can arrive at the ideal future where we succeed, and for why the candidates require the aforementioned ability.

But that ability is all for naught without the core of my research: the quantum computer.

It is paramount that I conceive of a way to fit fifteen billion semiconductors into a chip the size of my palm.

(In fact, my original schematic was to fit thirty billion of them on my fingertip. But for the purposes of Alternative IV, the former shall suffice.)

The chips are necessary to power the quantum computer—the brain of the 00 Unit.  
It should render the Unit capable of handling any number of causality information thrown at it—be it from Shirogane or otherwise—within microseconds.

Further, it is designed to foretell the future effects of every decision it makes and calculate accordingly.

Two steps ahead—in the purest of senses.

This is why mere humans are unqualified to don the mantle of humanity's greatest weapon, because not even the human brain can process and store as much information as the quantum computer of my specifications.

If you think about our little game show earlier—

Even if you find some superhuman who could look into all the sixty doors within the given minute, my quantum computer would've already had gone through 960 doors in the same span of time, if my calculations serve me right.

So, now that you are up to speed in all this (you may have already arrived at the same conclusion):

The candidate for the 00 Unit will have to be stripped of his or her humanity.

For these reasons and more, the leftover brain in this room is central to the Alternative IV plans.  
Although, I am fully prepared to sacrifice anyone in my STF to take the brain's place, shall it fail...

But let's not delve into that scenario for the time being.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei? Do you follow what I just said?

 _Ah—_ I've been completely absorbed in my own world that I hadn't heard a peep out of Shirogane.

 **(Yuuko)**  
A–absolutely.  
You were about to answer my question on how you planned to control the Causality Conductor?

 _Damn_ —I got carried away explaining this whole conundrum to you.

Stop distracting me so Shirogane and I can continue our dialogue!

 _Hmm_.

Though, I won't ask you to apologize.

I must admit, I slightly enjoyed lecturing you.  
It feels—satisfying, oddly enough.

Maybe, when this is all over, I can switch professions and take up teaching in a university.

Or.

In a high school, even.

 **(Takeru)**  
I said I don't expect to control it,  
but I just spent ten minutes saying something else...

 **(Yuuko)  
** Oh, then you'll have to say it again.  
So I can confirm what I had just heard, of course.

Shirogane taps the back of his head on the container.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Be careful not to crack that—!

 **(Takeru)**  
When I say I can't control it, I mean that I seem to be more aware of them—  
Of my memories, I mean...  
And I believe those around me are conscious of them as well.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Isn't that a good thing?

 **(Takeru)**  
Not necessarily.  
Remember when I told you that I only carry over the more prominent memories?  
And weaker memories require me to die several times before I can retain them?  
I was—mistaken...

 **(Yuuko)  
**. . .

In my hurry, I had figured Shirogane's increased awareness of his memories was an advantage for him. For us.

So what aspect of that is he not satisfied with?

Doubt casts over my initial reaction as I hang on to the rest of his words.

I decide to remain silent.  
It'd be wise to listen to everything he says for me to make a more educated opinion.

 **(Takeru)**  
I can remember, _everything_ , sensei...  
 _Every_ loop, _every_ event, _every_ second.  
I need only think about it.  
I feel— _complete_...

His left wrist rests on the head of his bended knee, and he appears to be blankly staring at its palm.

 **(Takeru)**  
But everyone else can see it too, and I have no way of keeping it away from them.  
My mind is an open book for anyone to read.  
They don't say anything about it, but I can sense the confusion in their eyes.  
I can tell it's also happening to you, sensei.  
You can see it, can't you?  
You've seen the worlds were we end up with each other...

I look away to avoid meeting his eyes.

Of all the examples he can think of—he decides to say _this_ one out loud?!

Don't you dare say a word! And don't you dare tell anyone else what you just heard from Shirogane!

Among the memories I've been receiving from him, these ones are on the bottom of my concern list (if it was even on the list in the first place).

 _'Yuuko?! How did you ever end up with a child?!'_  
I scold my selves of the parallel worlds.

Failures.

Disappointments.

That's what they all are.

 **(Takeru)  
** And earlier, I think I might've shown Meiya... something she shouldn't have seen...

Before this conversation heads in the direction I think it's about to, I speak up to interject.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I'm not here to listen to your relationship problems.

I cross my legs and place my left hand underneath my right elbow.  
The knuckles of my other hand lazily support my chin.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Let's focus on the first thing you mentioned.  
Not the part where those around you are receiving the memories.  
I'm quite aware of them, as you have guessed.  
Let's talk about the part where you feel 'complete'.

He stands up slowly, still leaning on the container.

 **(Takeru)  
** Alright...

Is his downtrodden answer.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I've been curious for a while now.  
But when we first met,  
you said that in your latest loop,  
you won the war against the BETA.

 **(Takeru)**  
Yes, we won.

 **(Yuuko)**  
So can I safely expect that you didn't die that time?

It's an obvious deduction to make.

He would've had to stay alive to bear witness to the victory.  
Otherwise, he'd have no knowledge of it.

 **(Takeru)**  
I didn't. I was the only surviving—

 **(Yuuko)**  
Then how are you here?

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh_? Aren't _you_ the expert?  
Shouldn't you be telling me how?  
Not the other way around?

He seems to be misunderstanding me.  
I must rephrase.

 **(Yuuko)**  
You yourself said that you must die in order to inherit the memories of the past worlds you've been to.  
If you didn't find the Causality Conductor the last time,  
how was your existence, _extracted_ , from that world,  
and transferred here—without your death?

Either of two things could happen at the completion of his last loop.

First: he fails to find the Causality Conductor, dies, then transfers to the next loop.

This ceremony is what he is most familiar with, since he's done this thousands of times.

Or: he finds the Causality Conductor and returns home.

By removing himself as the Causality Conduit, the world will want to correct itself.

Because the original Shirogane is dead in that world, the presence of this Shirogane is inconsistent with that world's memories. Therefore, when he succeeds, he should be restored to his home world without the need for the death ritual.

According to these two possibilities, and assuming he failed to find the Causality Conductor in his latest loop—he should've kept on living in that world until he expired.

Only _after expiring_ would he be recycled to the next world.

But this isn't the case—since he insists to have bypassed the Grim Reaper.

He appears to have combined the first half of option one with the second half of option two.

He 'failed to find the Causality Conductor', and he 'returned home without the death ritual'.

Shirogane went through a third, impossible reality.

The contradictions cannot be simply ignored.

One of them is deceiving the other: either Shirogane to the Causality Conductor, or the Causality Conductor to Shirogane.

 **(Yuuko)**  
How does that saying go again?  
 _'Once you eliminate the impossible,_  
 _whatever remains, no matter how improbable,_  
 _must be the truth.'_

 **(Takeru)**  
Wake me up when you start speaking my language again.

Ignoring his snarky remark, I relay to him the summary of the underlying contradiction.

He listens with candor.

I only hope that, after we eliminate all the impossibilities, Shirogane can live with the truth, no matter how bitter it may be.

When I finish, Shirogane starts pacing back and forth, though he never strays too far from the brain's container.

 **(Takeru)**  
Are... are you saying—  
We can't be sure of what I've been led to believe all this time?  
That for all I know, I _did_ find the Causality Conductor in the last loop, like you and Kasumi told me?  
So that means...  
That I've been sent back to my home world—  
Does that mean...  
Are you saying that _this_ is my home world?!

His volume is rising and the gaps between his breaths are getting shorter.

This room—bathed in the theme of Yashiro's favourite hue, reveals Shirogane's otherwise white teeth, now glowing blue.

I can almost hear them grinding.

His cause for hysteria is understandable.  
But this reaction—is... upsetting...

At least he is mature enough to think of something so disturbing.

 **(Yuuko)**  
As I said, we can't deny that possibility.  
Restrain yourself, Shirogane.  
Nothing good will come out of panic.  
However, that possibility is close to nil.  
This world is not home to you.  
Another Shirogane Takeru existed in this world; I have confirmed that for myself.

But he shouldn't relax just yet, either.

 **(Takeru)  
** That only accounts for the effect—it has nothing to say about the cause...  
The order of cause and effect doesn't work that way, sensei.  
If this is not my home world, then I must've—

 **(Yuuko)**  
Indeed, you must have _not_ been released as the Conduit in the last loop.  
Which therefore means you _must_ have died, one way or another.

I raise the other possibility up for him to debate.

 **(Takeru)**  
But I didn't...  
I really don't remember dying...  
I faded, and—

 **(Yuuko)**  
What other possibility is there, then?  
We've covered all our bases, unless there's something else you aren't telling me?

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Shut up—_

His words take me aback.  
I spur myself off the table to stand on my feet.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Excuse me?!

The audacity—!

If he chooses to be rude to the only person trying to help, then I might as well forget about all this—

 **(Takeru)  
** I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.  
Just please, stay quiet for a minute...

He's putting on a face one wears when in deep concentration, with his fingers kneading his temples.

 _Tsk_.

His disrespect was avoidable.

Had he wanted to think in silence, he need only say so.

This idiotic display just saved him; my flaring temper simmers down.  
I'll forgive his earlier insolence—only if it doesn't happen ever again.

His hand then drops to his side as he reignites the conversation.

 **(Takeru)**  
When you mention it,  
I vaguely remember something...  
about what happened—right after I left...

 **(Yuuko)**  
Start slowly, maybe it'll come back to you.

 **(Takeru)**  
After you and Kasumi told me all about...  
what we thought was...  
the Causality Conductor...  
I—drifted... somewhere...

I get into a comfortable position again to listen with full attention.

 **(Takeru)**  
I was in it...  
I was in the Causality Conductor—the pipeline...

My eyes widen in surprise and my head perks up upon hearing those words.

 **(Yuuko)**  
How do you know it was the Causality Conductor?

 **(Takeru)**  
I just do...  
I've been there several times before...  
Yeah—as a matter of fact,  
after every loop, I end up in the same place...

Things just got a lot more interesting.

I ask him to describe this place.

While scratching his chin, he explains,

 **(Takeru)  
** Its appearance—is that of a tunnel.  
But also like—a library?  
Now that I think about it,  
I felt like my existence was _pulled_ from the last world.  
Something, or someone, took me out of there by force,  
and when I arrived at the Causality Conductor,  
that same force dragged me through the tunnel.  
There were... books...? On the walls—

 **(Yuuko)**  
By force?

 **(Takeru)**  
—and it had... empty slots, back then...  
But as I flowed through the tunnel,  
books appeared out of thin air to fill the slots...

He's furrowing his brows and pursing his lips.

Is this memory the source of his discomfort?

 **(Yuuko)  
** What happened next?

 **(Takeru)**  
I—  
I—  
I—died...

 **(Yuuko)**  
. . .?

I can only tilt my head in question.

 **(Takeru)**  
Yeah...  
My body—  
The whole time I was going through the tunnel...  
I never noticed it until the end...  
But I was slowly being eaten away...  
My hands, my feet, my legs—  
There was nothing I could do but watch them disappear.

Wait a second—this is good news.  
Should he not be relieved?

After all, we can now clear up the contradiction that troubled us previously.

We are left with option one:

That he _failed_ to find the Causality Conductor.  
That he _died_.  
And that he is now _recycled_ back to this world.

Ergo—this must be the truth.

We could've just assumed that to begin with and maybe save us the time we spent on this conversation.

But we can't afford to leave any stone unturned, especially because of the powers we are dealing with.

And especially because of the fourth, yet unspoken possibility...

This is a baby step in terms of the things we now know, though it's a step in the right direction to finding the Causality Conductor in this loop.

And I'm sure Shirogane can rest assured—now that we have conclusively proven this.

The alternative reality would've been that he _did_ find the Conductor, and that _this_ is his home world.

And who would want to call this world their home?

. . .

. . .

Setting that aside—I'm on the edge of my seat, but for reasons unrelated.

 **(Takeru)  
** But sensei, before... I died...  
I saw... that the library was—complete...?  
All the empty slots on the walls of the tunnel were occupied...  
The last book appeared just as my consciousness disappeared...

Now it's my turn to make a face that is deep in thought.

My dissertation... my thesis—is a wild success!

The Causality Conductor—tunnel, library, however he described it— _it really exists!_

My Quantum Causality Theory's living proof...  
I can almost hug him!

In this surreal moment in space-time, I believe all of Shirogane.

Not because this revelation is any evidence of the truth; as it stands, this is but a story, one he can easily have made up.

No—I only believe him because _I want to_.

Because if it is the truth, my life's work...  
The reason for my existence...  
My entire life has meaning—and purpose!

And this feeling of fulfillment... is... _intoxicating_.

With my judgment forfeit, the scientist in me gives in to my humanity.

I've outdone myself with this one.  
The 00 Unit's fruition is nothing but guaranteed now.  
I need only find a way to pull the brain's causality information into the Unit.

For that—once again, I need the quantum computer.

And once again, R&D has been stagnant on this matter in the first place.

There's something I'm missing—something with... the groundwork... with—my formula?  
The concept flickers through my thoughts.

There should be no harm in asking my recently-established redeemer.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shirogane—

 **(Takeru)**  
You've been quiet for a while...  
I daresay you sound happy, even...

 **(Yuuko)**  
Are you implying that I take delight in your torment?  
Don't confuse me for one of your sadistic friends.

I snap back at him.

I heard the same story you did.  
I'm not so apathetic that I ignored the parts involving the agony he went through in that tunnel.

Simply put—I have no interpretation for those sequences of events.

The books, the library, the empty slots, his corroding body...

 **(Yuuko)**  
Give me more time, and I might find reason for the episode you went through in the Causality Conductor. However, the only way to progress is by focusing on the circumstances we _can_ explain. What do you say?

 **(Takeru)  
** What choice do I have—

 **(Yuuko)**  
The choice will always be yours to make, Shirogane.

I brush aside his dreary complaint and move the conversation ahead.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I have no way to explain that situation you underwent.  
I've never encountered the Causality Conductor in real life, after all.  
You may be the only being in the universe that has done so.

 **(Takeru)**  
I thought you wouldn't be able—

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shirogane—how did I solve the problem of the 00 Unit?  
How did I manufacture the quantum processor?

I try to be as careful as possible.

I've been trying to treat him like an adult.  
It's the least I can do to show him respect as an equal, though I know he can act like a child on occasion.

He doesn't answer right away, and instead—he stares at the floating nervous system in its suspension jar.

I wait patiently for his response, even as my fingers suggest otherwise.

They restlessly tap on my legs in rapid successions.  
The thumping sounds resemble the ticking of a clock...

Finally, he turns back to me.

I notice a wrinkle of regret in his eyes the moment he opens his lips.

 **(Takeru)**  
The foundation of your Quantum Causality Theory is rooted in the wrong equation.  
There... there is a mistake—in your formula...

I already know that much.

The memories leaking from the Causality Conductor make that evident.  
But I can't pinpoint the memory that indicates the exact mistake in the formula.

There are a lot of memories to sift through.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Then what _is_ the right equation, Shirogane?

 **(Takeru)**  
You'll have to bring Kasumi over; she can extract it from my memories much better than I can.

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Ehhh?_  
After _everything_ you said about remembering _everything_ —!

I jab at him, but he counters right away.

 **(Takeru)**  
I can see clear pictures, but I can't draw them out myself.  
Your handwriting isn't the best, sensei, and the symbols look like an alien language to me.  
Writing has never been my strongest subject...

 **(Yuuko)  
** _Hahhh_ —how anticlimactic!

I moan in disappointment.

How can he be so insensitive!  
He built up so much suspense for me, only to nip it in the bud...

My head shakes side to side and my hair ruffles back and forth.  
I will not allow myself to feel disheartened.

At least I have learned where to pick up with my research.

O dear Patience—it seems I'll have to make your acquaintance once again.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Very well, that will have to wait for Yashiro.

I've already been hoping that she gets well soon, but that hope has escalated into a wish that she gets well even sooner.

Oh, speaking of Yashiro one last time—the doctors had also mentioned that she keeps repeating the name of Shirogane Takeru in her sleep.

Focus on getting better before you worry about other people...

Simpleton...

Or—is it something else entirely...?

Don't tell me—!  
Did this boy also steal Yashiro's heart once upon a time?

 **(Takeru)**  
By the way, sensei...

 **(Yuuko)**  
Y–yes?

 **(Takeru)**  
Why'd you send Capt. Isumi to escort me here?

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Huh_? I asked her to bring you to my office, not _this_ room.  
And I only did what was natural.  
You were late for ten minutes, so I was worried you had forgotten you had to see me.  
In the end, you were late for yet another hour and a half.

I turn my excuse back on him into a complaint.

 **(Yuuko)**  
So it wasn't my fault I had to send out Michiru.  
That fault is on you, Shirogane.

 **(Takeru)**  
Oh, I see. You had me worried...  
I thought it was out of place; you had never done that before.  
I was late because of Meiya...  
But still—sending the Captain of the Valkyries for me...  
Don't you think that was a bit of an overreaction?  
I was beginning to believe this world was diverging too much from the world I'm used to, but maybe I'm worrying over nothing.

One of these days, I'll get used to listening to Shirogane talk so casually about Alternative IV.

About my STF Squad A-01...  
About the 00 Unit...  
About my Quantum Causality Theory...

Perhaps—out of everyone else in this base.

Maybe in this world, even.

The only person who knows as much as me is right here, in my direct vicinity...

Sharing the same room as me...  
Speaking so freely with me...

 **(Yuuko)**  
It's getting late.  
Maybe we should continue another time.

This room doesn't have a clock either; it wouldn't be too surprising if the night has already passed.

I consider something for a minute—something forgotten since yesterday.  
But it's irrelevant right now, I decide.

We've made good enough progress with the discourse this evening.

So instead I ask,

 **(Yuuko)**  
Is there anything else you'd like to divulge tonight?

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

 **(Yuuko)**  
If not, I'll get back to work.

I push myself off the table, ready to leave.

 **(Takeru)**  
Wait, sensei—

 **(Yuuko)**  
Don't wait for the last second to bring something up!

My haughty complaint points out the inconvenience.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sorry, but I've been debating whether I should ask you or not.  
It's something petty at this point in time.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Yet you decide to ask it of me anyway.

 **(Takeru)**  
Because it'll be important later on.

 _Hmm_? Interesting choice of words.  
He sure knows how to be mysterious.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Alright then, what is it?

 **(Takeru)**  
About the OS used in the simulators.  
Can you ask the programmers to tweak it a little for me?

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Eh?_ But your squad is too far behind to be in the simulators.  
Messing around with the OS—are you up to no good?

You don't have to tell me. I'm aware of the emptiness in that question.

Criminals don't admit the plans for their future crimes.  
Well—I guess the smart ones don't. I'm not so sure about the ones that aren't.

I'm about to find out which kind of criminal Shirogane is.

 **(Takeru)**  
I received a challenge.  
From Capt. Isumi.

 _Hoh_ —how unlike Michiru.

Maybe sending her was a bad idea after all.  
What kind of conversation did they have, exactly?

 **(Takeru)**  
Do you have any recollection of XM3?

X...M...3?

The name—sounds familiar.

I can... see... the system... that he's referring to...

Somewhat...

 **(Takeru)**  
It's an OS you, Kasumi and I develop later on,  
although it looks like I'll need it sooner.

 **(Yuuko)**  
That sounds like a lot of work.  
Tonight's not a good night.

His voice turns a register lower.

 **(Takeru)**  
Please—it's a matter of life and death... for me...

He sure knows how be dramatic, as well.

I ask him to illustrate it for me.  
So he does.

. . .

. . .

. . .

 **(Takeru)  
** —and it's not like it's for widespread adoption yet.  
I only ask that they reprogram the simulator I'll be using.  
You can use it as proof of concept afterward, if the results are rewarding enough.

The more he speaks of it, the clearer it becomes.

These conversations with the Causality Conductor...  
I hate to admit—I'm growing rather fond of them...

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _*sigh~*_  
I'll see what I can do.  
For tomorrow, you say?  
It's a tight schedule, but I'll talk to the programmers and see what they can come up with on short notice.

We'll be up all night, it looks like.

 **(Yuuko)**  
By the way, isn't this—cheating?

It _sounds like_ cheating.

He tried to sell it by saying it could increase the survival rate of all our pilots, upgrade our current TSFs by one generation, and all that snake-oil salesman claptrap.

He even threw in some nomenclature such as 'move-combos' and 'move-cancels'—whatever those mean.

I have the impression that this turns out to be highly successful...

And while listening to him, something else had occurred to me.

To be able to accept and carry out numerous pilot input commands at the same time instead of placing them in a delayed sequential queue, the TSF's computer would have to be capable of—

Parallel processing.

Now there's a fresh approach that's worth applying to the TSF's software, in the same way as the 00 Unit's operation.

The programmers wouldn't appreciate this tedious re-assignment.

But.

Returning to the topic—this is Michiru's challenge.  
And Shirogane is cheating it.

I was about to complain at the extra work he's asking of me, but now, I'm just impressed.

I never would've thought Shirogane can be so—dishonourable.

 **(Takeru)**  
Against Capt. Isumi—yes, I might be cheating.  
Against the BETA, it makes no difference.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Well said.  
Whatever it takes to win, I always say.

I'd quite like to see the look of defeat—I mean, surprise—on Michiru's face.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Now then, this should keep me even busier.  
See yourself out, will you.

 **(Takeru)  
** I'll be staying here tonight.

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Hmm_? Suits me.  
Knock yourself out.

I head to the exit for real this time.

Shirogane's voice reaches me just as I enter the hallway.  
I keep walking anyway.

 **(Takeru)**  
There's a fourth possibility, sensei...  
That I might've found the Causality Conductor,  
and yet I was recycled into the loop...  
Which might mean—I'm destined to be recycled for all eternity, no matter what...

His chilling words resound throughout the corridor.

I thought I was protecting him by not mentioning the last possibility, but it turned out to be pointless.

I underestimated his capacity to come up with it on his own.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Loosen up, Shirogane.

I echo back leisurely.

 _'Don't drag me into your depression...'_ is what I also wanted to say...

I'm already sitting behind my desk, though.  
I missed the opportunity to say so.

Did I not promise him I'd figure this whole thing out?

I mean—I had wanted to discuss any pertinent future information he may have for me, but that didn't happen now, did it?

Tonight was all about him, wasn't it?

One would think that would reassure him somehow.

. . .

But, asking him to simply cheer up—or to not be as despondent as he is—is meaningless, after whatever traumas he's had to live through.

I can sympathize as much, so I won't force it out of Shirogane.

I've seen men greater than him attempt and fail.

But it isn't a crime if Shirogane smiles from time to time...

...

. . .

. . . .

Right—I'll get to it then.

I pick up the phone to ring in my comms officer.

 **(Yuuko)**  
You picked that up quickly, Elena.

 **(Elena)**  
I happened to be nearby.  
I was just about to call you too.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I'll go first.  
Summon Chief Programmer Handa in here, quickly as possible.  
Wake him up if you have to.

 **(Elena)**  
Right away, Ma'am.

 **(Yuuko)**  
What's the latest status report?

 **(Elena)**  
The neuro team and metallurgists have completed the Unit's framework,  
but they're struggling to assimilate the circuitry into its nervous system.

Sounds like progress.  
I'll take what I can get.

 **(Elena)**  
Yashiro-san's condition is improving drastically—in case you were wondering.  
The doctors say she may be discharged later this afternoon if she stays that way.

Later this afternoon?

Oh, that's right.  
It's the 24th already.

 **(Yuuko)**  
That's good to hear, I guess.  
She's missing out on a lot of fun, though.

 **(Elena)**  
And there's one more thing.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I already have a lot of _things_ on my plate, Elena.

 **(Elena)**  
It's nothing too important.  
KP has returned Shirogane's laundry.

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Haaah?_  
Why the need to share me this banal information?

I roll my eyes at the news.

 **(Elena)**  
They found something in his pants pocket,  
I thought you might want to inspect it.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Oh? Sure, I'll take a look at it when you send it over.

 **(Elena)**  
It's already on your desk.  
I came to deliver it earlier, but you weren't in your office.  
It's in the envelope in your top right drawer.

Efficient as always, Elena is.

The said drawer slides outward, and I find said envelope on top of the pile.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Thanks Elena.  
Anything else?

 **(Elena)**  
That is all, Ma'am.  
I shall take my leave,  
Chief Handa should be there shortly.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Good night.

Hanging up the phone, I immediately tear open the envelope like a child on Christmas Eve.

If this was found in his homeworld's pants pocket, this has to be something very fascinating.

I start imagining all sorts of things it could possibly be.

A sophisticated scrap of technology?  
A vanity object?  
Something naughty?  
The possibilities are—

Like Schrodinger's cat, there's only one way to find out for certain.

I take the object out of the envelope.

. . .

And...

. . .

I can only sigh as I hold it in my hand.

It definitely does not disappoint.

There is nothing like it in this world.

Softly chuckling to myself, I lean back on my chair and hold the object over my weary, closed eyes.

Relief quenches me.

My mood—back then...  
When Shirogane fulfilled my Causality Theory with his story...

I am feeling the same way once more...

Twice in the same day, scientist Yuuko surrenders to human Yuuko.

But for once in my life, I'm glad she did, because it doesn't feel so wrong...

I delicately place the object in my coat's pocket, my mind now prepared for the all-nighter ahead of me.

* * *

 **Schwanengesang**  
German orig., English trans. 'Swan Song'  
 _noun  
_ 1\. A farewell appearance or final act or pronouncement  
2\. A song of great sweetness said to be sung by a dying swan

* * *

 _Revised: September 19, 2018_


	9. The Show Must Go On

**Chapter 9 – The Show Must Go On**

* * *

 **Kasumi**

* * *

I am a shadow of my former self.

Which in my case is actually a positive thing,  
because 'past me' was nothing but a hollow husk.

Memories of my childhood are not only distant, but nonexistent.

People tell me I had parents...  
People say I had sisters... and friends...

However—I don't recall ever seeing my parents;  
I no longer remember my sisters.  
And I don't think I ever had any friends.

It's just that...

I just...

Don't remember...

 _Anything_...

In the first place,  
back then,  
family and friends were concepts too foreign for my understanding.

Everything I've ever been led to believe  
I only learned from what I've been told by the people around me.

I wasn't really given a choice  
but to trust in those who raised me.

I didn't know any better.  
I was only a child...

Children believe anything and everything taught to them by their wardens,  
no matter how misguided their teachings may be.

I mean—if a child was reared to believe that killing is just another inconsequential act,  
won't they grow up without ever realizing the immorality in taking another life?

And so I believed _everything_ they taught me...  
the 'good' and the 'bad',  
the 'right' and the 'wrong',  
the 'truth' and the 'lies'.

This is ironic—now that I think about it,  
because my whole life was one of their big lies.

...

. . .

. . . .

That example was probably too extreme,  
but I brought it up because my own upbringing wasn't so different.

I was born to obey orders,  
to pilot a machine called a TSF,  
to read the minds of BETA,  
to kill the enemy,  
and to accept my death,  
when the hour inevitably arrived.

We were all developed that way—those of us bred from the same tank farm, that is.

 _'Killing humans is immoral, and BETA kill humans. Thus, I should kill BETA without remorse...'_  
I was taught since my infancy.

But to this day, I never took the life of any BETA.

I _still_ cannot take away the life of any BETA,  
not even of the one frequently in front of me...

...

My isolation became worse and worse as I got older,  
watching those I grew up with, leave—only to never come back.

And I can't quite place why they were all so cold to me,  
no matter how hard I tried to be nice to them... to befriend them...

I think... that even my sisters... treated me this way...?

One might gather that this way of life made me sad.  
But to be honest—I wasn't sad.

Firstly, I didn't know what 'sadness' was,  
so how _could_ I be sad?

Plus, I couldn't figure out what this thing called 'happiness' is supposed to feel like.

This is... normal... isn't it?

I guess I sometimes felt hungry.  
Would you consider that an emotion?

Still, I did have one wish.

Yes.

Empty as I was, I somehow knew how to wish upon the stars.

Soon, I thought, it'll be me inside one of those TSFs, being sent out on a one-way mission...  
Soon, the end will find me...

But through it all, I was never sent out on any of their missions.

...

. . .

. . . .

Please—let me catch my breath, before I continue.

Maybe... it's because... my past was... too unpleasant... Intensely so,  
that the subconscious part of my brain has decided to protect me by shielding me from those memories.  
And my head starts to ache whenever I attempt to bring them back to the surface, like how it's aching right now.

...

No—allow me to correct myself.  
I shouldn't state something as fact when I'm not entirely sure of it.  
I have no want to misinform you.

Rather—the following is the fact:

Up until some time ago, I did remember everything, painful as it was...  
Up until...  
Up until I met... _it_...  
I had to forget everything... for _it_...

But I believe I made the right decision.

I have since learned how to _live_ , and not just _exist_...  
how to _feel_ alive, and not just _be_...

All because of _it_...

Of— _Him_...

This is why I speak in the past tense,  
because I have molted off my former self and began a life anew.

And it's thanks to the Professor.

My whole world turned around when I met the Professor.

Present-day, if you ask me about the earliest recollection of my life,  
I can only share with you the memories starting from that day.

 _'The most powerful esper ever conceived,  
cooped up here in the miserable cold,  
far away from the real war.'_

One of the then-strangers mused at me, clad in an expensive-looking fur coat and even more lavish trousers and boots.

 _'What a waste. I could make better use of you.'_

There were two of them.  
Sisters—I could tell, although they didn't really interact with each other too much.

They shared the same penetrating gaze in their amber eyes,  
like how my own sisters shared the silver-amethyst in mine...

The other stranger had a cigarette poking out of her lips,  
but it wasn't lit. Not at that time.

She was dressed more simply than the first,  
adorned in a plain black uniform paired with an electric blue tie.  
The chalky white overcoat, its cuffs rolled up to her elbows, inspired in her an aura of acumen.  
She wore the same dark magenta crown as her partner—only hers was tied up in a knot.  
And the spectacles she bore made her eyes appear even sharper than the other stranger's.

But looks can be deceiving, for she spoke more softly than the first.

 _'Come with us. We know someone who wants to be your friend.'_

She said to me upon a beautiful smile, with one palm reached out invitingly.  
Unable to resist, I took her hand without a second thought.

In a way, if guardian angels were a real thing, I bet mine would look exactly like them...

They were stern, but gentle at the same time.  
Fierce, yet calm.  
Tough, yet soft.

Above all, they were very kind to me...

This is how I began my relationship with Kagami Sumika.  
Granted—our first encounter was nothing too impressive worth noting.

The second stranger left the basement room immediately after introducing me to Sumika-san.  
These days, I only ever see her once or twice a month when she stops by to say Hi.

The first stranger stayed behind and settled me in.  
She provided me a new uniform; told me things about myself that I wasn't aware of until then.  
She even informed me that my sisters were doing well, all the way out in a place called Alaska.  
She also told me—that I don't have a mother... nor a father...  
That I wasn't born the same way humans are born...

I soon learned the Professor's name—Kouzuki Yuuko.  
Although, she ordered me to just refer to her by her first title.  
Naturally, I find it difficult to call her that so casually, even if she said it was a strict order...

Moreover, she dubbed me a new nickname right as we left my home in the Kamchatka Peninsula, Eastern Russia.

My old name was far too formal, she complained.

So—I was reborn.

Trista Sestina became Yashiro Kasumi.

And Yuuko gave Yashiro an important mission.

 _'The fate of mankind rests on whether or not you succeed,'_ she said with an affable voice.  
 _'No pressure, so do your best. I'm counting on you.'_

Somebody needed me...

Somebody—wanted me...

I felt something I've never felt before in that moment,  
and that's why I can't forget it.

I became aware of my beating heart for the first time.  
Like I was high up on a cloud in the sky;  
like I was free from the heavy feeling in my chest;  
as if I only just left the darkness, and first seen the light.

Whatever this feeling was, I wanted to share it with my friends...  
This feels like the stuff of dreams, and I want the whole world to feel this way...

With it, I found passion. A passion to fulfill my mission.

My mission was simple on the outside:  
Reach out to Sumika-san.

Accomplishing it was easier said than done, though.

It cost me several sleepless days and sleepless nights just to draw out her name.  
Her thoughts are too... mangled... troubled... afflicted...  
The colours I see in her are all pitch-black—even darker and more sinister than the abyss I only just escaped...

But I never gave up.

Because Professor Yuuko needed me.

Because Sumika-san—is like what I used to be...

And so it came to pass,  
that in the cesspool of emotions and memories inside Sumika-san,  
I crossed paths with—Shirogane-san...

Shirogane-san...

Shirogane...san...

Takeru...san...

I did... everything... you–

 **(? ? ?)**  
Kasumi? Wake up, sleepyhead.

Ta...ke...ru?

 **(? ? ?)**  
Kasumi? I'm here.

Takeru...

 **(? ? ?)**  
. . .

A warm sensation wraps around my hand.  
My eyelids feel heavy, but that only makes me strive harder in lifting them up.

The whole world is fuzzy.

 _Ah_.

Never mind—my eyes just haven't adjusted yet.

I try to rub the droopy pair with my dominant hand.  
But I can't.  
The source of the warmth still has control over it.

I use my left hand instead.

 _*rub*rub*_

That's much better.

The view is slowly getting clearer,  
but the light—up in the ceiling, is a tad too bright,  
so I turn my head sideways to ward it off.

 **(? ? ?)**  
Kasumi... What a relief...  
You're finally awake.

I hear a tender exhale coming from the person in front of me.

That's—weird...

Someone who looks very much like Takeru is sitting beside my bed.

His face—is it real? I want to feel it... to check if it is...

My left hand tries to do so, but it can only stretch so far–

 _Ah!_ The person opened up my right hand to expose my palm, and now he's leaning his cheek on it.

It's... warm...  
So verily warm...  
So full of... life...

. . .

 _It's my room._  
 _No—this isn't my world,_  
 _even though everyone I know looks like they're here._  
 _Except Sumika-san..._ _but that's okay.  
This world sounds messed up._  
 _It's better this way. It's better if she isn't here._

 _. . ._

 _Hahhh! I can't breathe!  
Training is too much work, I suck at this!_  
 _I wanna go home! Come on, someone wake me up!_

 _. . ._

 _Ayamine, that toss really hurt! I might've broken my wrist!_

 _. . ._

 _Class Rep—stubborn as ever, I see._

 _. . ._

 _Mikoto, I'm grateful you took care of the snake bite,  
but sleeping on top of me, that's a bit too–!_

 _. . ._

 _HUUURRRAAAAHHHHHH!_  
 _We passed the Combat Skills Exam! I can finally become an Eishi!_  
 _THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!_

 _. . ._

 _You really are incredible, Tama! That shot was unreal!_

 _. . ._

 _Meiya, we should just force the old lady to come with us  
and get out of here before the lava eats us all up._

 _. . ._

 _What? They've never heard of Christmas?_  
 _It's about time everyone learned what a real party is like!_

 _. . ._

 _Huh? Where'd she go? I have to find her..._  
 _I must tell her—how much I really love her..._

 _. . ._

 _Alternative V...  
No... They can't do this...  
They—can't...  
There must be... another way..._

 _. . ._

 _I'm sorry..._  
 _I'm so sorry..._  
 _But you have to keep on living..._  
 _Go with the ships._  
 _Take care... of the proof of our love..._  
 _and remember me..._  
 _I'll always be thinking... of the two of you..._

 _. . ._

 _Kasumi! You have to get on board too! Let go of that!_  
 _Just..._  
 _let..._  
 _go!_

 _. . ._

 _Fuck! This world is hopeless–_

 _. . ._

 _Hughhh!_  
 _Huh?_  
 _I'm back... again...  
Have I been given another chance?  
Maybe this time... I can make a difference..._  
 _I can do everything right... this time..._

 _. . ._

 _Damn it all! We've lost too many lives today.  
We're all fighting one another, when we should be fighting beside each other..._

 _. . ._

 _No... It... can't... be...  
Why... Sumika...  
Why are you–?  
Our story... is too—heart...breaking..._

 _. . ._

 _MARIMO-CHAN! HARUKO! MICHIRU! MITSUKI! HARUKA!_  
 _FUCK!_  
 _FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!_  
 _FUCK!_  
 _WHY DOES EVERYONE DEAR TO ME KEEP DYING?!_  
 _AM I WEAK?_  
 _AM I NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO SAVE ANYONE?_

 _. . ._

 _I... I'm very... very... tired..._

 _. . ._

 _CLASS REP! AYAMINE! MIKOTO! TAMA! MEIYA! SUMIKA!_  
 _I SWEAR—DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS–_  
 _I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, IF YOU–!_  
 _PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T–!_  
 _NOOOOOOOOOOO–!_

 _. . ._

 _. . . ._

. . . . .

 _It's..._  
 _all... over...  
. . ._  
 _I can..._  
 _go home...  
and finally...  
Rest..._

 _. . ._

I'll always be watching you... Takeru...  
No matter what world you're in...  
So please forgive me—but it isn't over just yet...  
Not until _He_ draws the curtains...  
Of our tragic existence...

...

 _Huh_? There are a lot more people in my room...  
And the machines—they're making a lot of noises...  
 _Eh?_ One of them put a mask over my mouth...

Wait, where did Takeru go?  
No—don't take him away from me...

Please... don't... take...

Ta–  
ke–  
.

* * *

 **Marimo**

* * *

Teaching in a class is difficult,  
especially when I really have to ignore the elephant in the room.

Actually, it's the other way around.

I'm trying my best to ignore the _absence_ of the elephant in the room.

There are six desks in here—not including mine.  
One for each member of my squad.

Two of the desks are unoccupied.

Yoroi isn't back yet; she still needs a few more days before she's fully restored.

But the other empty seat, the relatively shiny one, has a severe wanting for excuse.

' _Tsk,'_ I click my tongue.

Being the professional that I am,  
I nonetheless push through with today's lecture covering explosives and its applications.

At the same time, looking up at them between readings is getting quite distracting.

Everyone's debilitation can be seen on their faces.

I might've overdone it with the supplemental laps I handed them yesterday.  
But they performed surprisingly well.

I suppose none of them want to be bested by today's absentee;  
though with that in mind, they're doing a lot better than him already.

In any case, they each look weary.

Tamase dozes off in the midst of every other page,  
so I've been calling her up to read some lines to the class now and then.

Ayamine is more brazen.  
I've caught her drooling three times now while she uses the arch on her front wrist for a head rest.

Sakaki is doing well so far, but I don't think she's absorbing anything from the lecture.  
The bulk of her effort is evidently focused on keeping her eyes open.

Mitsurugi—I'm not entirely sure of...  
She seems to be purposefully covering her face with her spread-out fingers.  
I chanced a peek behind it earlier and detected some puffiness in her eyes.  
I also keep catching her stealing glances at the other empty desk.

In fact, everyone keeps discreetly looking at the same empty desk.

 _'That has to be it. The AWOL cadet must've tired out and slept in this morning,'_  
I thought to myself before recess.

But we are past recess right now,  
and I've even called Yuuko during to ask for the whereabouts of the 'special' case.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Not my problem—now stop disturbing me!

That's all she said before she slammed the phone in my ear.

Asking her wouldn't have helped either way.  
According to KP, Shirogane wasn't there when they swept the barracks in the morning.

Oh well—I've done my part.  
I can't help those who don't want to be helped.

 **(Marimo)**  
Yes, Ayamine?

My finger points to the student with her hand raised in the air.

I haven't asked the class any questions, though,  
so it's slightly surprising that the normally-uncooperative Ayamine is actually participating right now.

 **(Kei)**  
Instructor, where's Shirogane?

 _Uh-oh_ —not them too.

The one time she decides to engage in the lecture—and it has nothing to do with lecture.  
Shirogane is turning out to be such a bother, even when he's not around.

After clearing my throat, I indulge her question,

 **(Marimo)**  
I gave him a personal assignment this morning.  
It's hard to tell how long it'll take him, so your guess is as good as mine.  
Anyway—eyes on your rifles.

I wordlessly apologize in my head for the obvious lie.

I can't bring myself to openly admit that one of my students is playing truant.  
Especially because he appears to be my best pupil.  
A role model—turned AWOL... What message is he trying to send everyone?

And his absence can't be ignored any longer, for fear that everyone might needlessly worry.

This is me trying to salvage the situation.  
We don't need any more distractions.

The show must go on, with or without Shirogane.

...

...

...

 **(Marimo)**  
That concludes today's lesson.  
Well done, everyone.  
You are dismissed.

They all start scrambling out of the room at the same time,  
leaving me wondering where all that sudden energy came from,  
because it surely wasn't in them just a minute ago.

I take a seat behind my desk to relax a little.

 _Haaah_ —I thought field stripping would _never_ end.

 _Eh?_  
What am I saying?  
I'm the teacher!  
 _*laughs*_

 **(? ? ?)**  
Jinguuji-sensei! Heyo! What's so funny?

My feet push me off the chair at the unexpected sound of the uninvited visitor–

Scratch that.

It's visitors—plural.

 **(Marimo)**  
 _Ahh_! It's just the two of you.  
Don't startle me like that!

I try to put on a cognizant face to regain my dignity.

 **(? ? ?)**  
 _Eh?_ But we even knocked before entering,

Says the visitor's accomplice.

 **(? ? ?)**  
Yeah! You're slacking off, Ma'am!

 **(Marimo)**  
Give me a break; I've had a long day.  
Besides—you're all beyond my league now,  
so it's unfair to compare me to you.  
And stop calling me Ma'am, _First Lieutenants~._

 **(? ? ?)**  
 _Nghh_ , I prefer you not call me that way...

 **(? ? ?)**  
Yeah! What Haruka said–

In case you haven't met them yet,  
allow me to proudly introduce to you these past students of mine.

 **(Haruka)**  
Don't use _my_ words—think for yourself for once!

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Ahaha!_ It's a lot easier this way.

My star-studded alumna sticks her tongue out at First Lt. Suzumiya,  
her hand tousling the back of her blue-toned hair.

I let them bicker at each other for a while, (as is their tradition),  
but at some point I do interrupt them.

 **(Marimo)**  
What brings the two of you here?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
We just wanted to come see you—that's all.  
There's no other reason!

But beside First Lt. Hayase,  
Suzumiya shakes her head sideways,  
her palm hiding half of her face.

 **(Haruka)**  
Mitsuki has a simulation battle with one of your students later this evening.  
Michiru informed us of this during our morning briefing.  
I'm not really sure why she didn't stick with–

 **(Mitsuki)**  
HA-RU-KA! We already settled that this morning!  
 _I'm_ taking on the newbie, not–!

Suzumiya continues as if Hayase never said a word.

 **(Haruka)**  
Anyhow—you know Mitsuki; she's been restless all day  
and figured she wanted to scope out her opponent.  
She's dragging me with her against my will.

Hayase delivers a crooked smile at Suzumiya,  
but Suzumiya's own doesn't give an inch.

 **(Haruka)**  
We've been passing by your classroom all day,  
hoping for a peek at–

 **(Marimo)**  
–Shirogane Takeru.  
Is that whom you are up against tonight, Hayase?

I have a feeling that he's somehow involved in all this.

Who else is capable of rattling the cages of the likes of my former students?

Certainly not any of the girls in my class.  
They're all prim and proper—not quite the same troublemakers as Shirogane.  
(After all, it was _his_ fault I gave them the extra exercises yesterday.)

They would've done so long ago if they were indeed capable.

But after seeing for myself what Shirogane can do during training,  
I have to admit that his performance is mighty impressive.

That said, I wouldn't be surprised if he caught the eyes of my alumni.

So of course—there was only one possible answer.

Hayase gives me a thumbs-up, along with her hallmark grin of confidence.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
You got it! And please sensei, try to call me Mitsuki!  
We're no longer your students, you know!

I pretend not to hear that last remark.

If she really means it, then she wouldn't keep calling me _sensei_ and _Ma'am_.

I can't believe she outranks me...

 **(Haruka)**  
But he hasn't been in class all day, has he?

This time, it's my turn to hide half of my own face.

 **(Marimo)**  
Regrettably, I have no idea where he is.  
Nobody else seems to know, either.  
Yuuko wouldn't even spare me one minute to ask for him.  
Or maybe, for once, she's just terribly busy today?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Then—my reconnaissance has all been for nothing!

 **(Haruka)**  
You should've realized that after the fifth time we passed by–

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Oh—do you think he found out about me and chickened out?  
Sensei, did you mention me to him by any chance?  
Or do you think the XO would do something like that? Do you? Do you?

Where does she get these far-out ideas...

It's difficult to answer her in truth—not when she's wearing a genuinely excited expression.

 **(Haruka)**  
Mitsuki, now that we've cleared this all up,  
I'm taking my leave.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Fine fine fine, you're free to go.  
I'll head out as well.  
Maybe I'll look elsewhere–

An audible sigh comes out of Haruka.

 **(Mitsuki and Haruka)**  
Thanks for your time, Jinguuji-sensei!

It's like they share the same brain.

And just like the wind—they're leaving so soon after arriving.  
I can't complain though, since they literally have to live in the fast lane.

 **(Marimo)**  
Thanks for stopping by again.  
Say Hi to everyone for me.  
And good luck, Hayase! Don't go easy on Shirogane!

 **(Mitsuki)  
** You can count on it! I'll give him hell!  
I don't know the meaning of the phrase 'go easy' anyway!

 **(Haruka)  
** Your latest graduates are doing very well, by the way!  
We'll send them your regards.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Yeah, they're all fitting right in!

 **(Haruka)**  
So Mitsuki—to 'go easy' means to–

I stare at their backs, both shrinking as they walk farther away.

How my students have grown...

Still and all,  
the more things change,  
the more they stay the same.

Pride swells in my chest and joy warms my heart  
at the accomplishments my former students have achieved... are achieving... and will achieve...

But as I veer my eyes to the desk that remained unoccupied this day,  
a feeling of disappointment threatens my pride.

...

 _'Out of the question,'_  
I smash the negative emotion in its root.

Shirogane—you are destined for even greater heights.  
Perhaps the greatest of them all.  
So I will do everything to the best of my abilities,  
as your Sergeant... as your teacher... as your—friend...  
to help you reach your full potential.

Because _you_ are the show.  
And the show must go on.

...

 _Heh!_ Where did that phrase come from?  
I'm beginning to sound as far-out as Hayase.

But I know one thing for certain:  
That Shirogane will rue the day he decides to skip my class again.


	10. A Conversation Between Swords

**Chapter 10 – A Conversation Between Swords**

* * *

 **Kei**

* * *

 **(Miki)**  
Hurry up, Kei-san! You're falling behind!

Chimes the pipsqueak who always ends up last place in exercises.

 **(Kei)**  
Why hurry?

 **(Miki)**  
Why not?  
Come on—hurry!

 **(Kei)**  
Because she can't move on her own anyway?

Only Miki and I are together right now.

We parted ways with Sakaki and Mitsurugi earlier.

'Squad leader' said she'd visit later, after attending to her 'other duties'.  
Mitsurugi, on the other hand, said nothing when she departed on her own.

As for Shirogane—I haven't seen him all day.  
Not that I care of course.

 **(Miki)  
** _*sigh*_

I guess she gave up on hurrying, because she's now walking beside me.  
I honestly don't understand why she has to rush at all.

We'll get there when we get there—so I'd rather get there at my own pace.

 **(Miki)  
** Kei-san,

 **(Kei)  
**? ? ?

 **(Miki)  
** You're the best! You beat your own record once again!

Oh. That.

Briefly closing my eyes and nodding her way, I say,

 **(Kei)  
** Six minutes, on the dot,

To add to her reference to this afternoon's activity.

 _Hmm..._  
I always get the urge to skip classes myself,  
though I never follow through with those urges.

How gutsy of Shirogane to play hooky so soon after joining.

 **(Kei)  
** It's wasted on me,  
 _Gun Master Miki._

Emphasis on the second line.

I pretend to bow down and worship her with a straight face.

Amongst all of us, she's the firearms connoisseur, even if she pretends to be modest about it.

As expected, she's giggling and blushing profusely.

I'm not really a fan of guns.  
Ayamine Kei's weapons of choice: my left fist and my right.

 **(Miki)  
** But still! Being able to improve in such a short time—have you been practicing?

Her present admiration stems from how I managed to shave off 17 whole seconds from my previous record in field stripping.

I'm not too sure how I handled that, since the only time I practice is during class hours.  
And yet I'm getting better by some means.  
My fingers have a mind of their own—or something silly like that.

 **(Miki)  
** Hold that thought—here we are!

We've just arrived at the infirmary.

Miki and I are currently here to visit Yoroi.

I don't know about Miki, but I'm not here out of sentiment or concern or anything like that.  
I'm just bored right now, hence why I followed her.

At first, I considered searching for Shirogane...  
He didn't spend lunch with us at the PX earlier.

What sort of assignment did Instr. Jinguuji give him, I wonder.

But to look for him is to admit that I'm thinking about him,  
and that's just absurd,  
so I decided not to.

...

Okay—maybe I'm _slightly_ concerned for Yoroi.  
Nobody needs to know that though.

As we walk towards her floor,  
Miki, in customary loud fashion, opens the door and greets,

 **(Miki)  
** Good afternoon, Mikot–!

 _Huh_? She didn't finish her delivery.

Miki turns her wide eyes to look at mine.

 **(Miki)  
** Kei-san, there's no one in her bed.

 **(Kei)  
**. . .

What does she mean?  
We do have the correct floor number, don't we?  
Why yes, we do.

This is the third time we've visited Yoroi.  
It's also the third day since she's been in the hospital.

I guess you could say we've been visiting her regularly.

But no—it's not out of concern, as I mentioned...

 **(Kei)  
** Let me see.

Miki steps aside to allow me passage to the room.

 _Hmm_... She wasn't imagining things after all...  
It's empty, as she says.

Looks like I was wrong earlier, when I said that Yoroi 'can't move on her own anyway'.

I thought she was supposed to be bedridden for at least one more week.  
Although... the sheets are littered all over the mattress and the floor, which tells me it was vacated only very recently.

 **(Kei)**  
Short visit.  
Okay—I'm leaving.

I wave a palm at Miki and start walking away,  
but she blocks me in the middle of my tracks.

 **(Miki)**  
 _Heehh_ –? Don't leave yet! We have to find her!

 **(Kei)**  
Bath time.

 **(Miki)**  
 _Eh?_

 **(Kei)**  
Nurses took her away for a scrub bath.

I pick on her with my sophistry.

 **(Miki)**  
 _Ehhh_ ~?  
But... it's her rest period...

Yeah... I know...

This time window is reserved for visitors;  
this is Yoroi's scheduled free time.

I groan to myself.

Ayamine Kei is such a loser.  
If only I had _anything_ better to do than this...

It's sad that I don't...

Maybe—I should've searched for Shirogane in the first place?

Or–

Maybe I can... study?

 _'Don't kid yourself, Ayamine Kei.'_

I wish I had Shirogane's delinquency skills...  
Or his running skills—he seems to be a pro at running.

No choice—I'll tag along with Miki for now.

 **(Miki)**  
Let's go look for her.

I'm following Miki,  
burying myself into the rabbit hole that is my thoughts...

I've been feeling mysteriously... _calm_... lately.  
I think it started at the same time Shirogane arrived.

There's something about his center that suffuses in me an ambience that's so soothing.

When I'm right by him—like when we sit next to each other during meal times,  
my heart feels warm and my head feels cool...

It's very... comfortable...  
It makes me want to remain at his side for as long as possible.  
I wish my feelings were a lot more simple...

 _following Miki..._

The guy rarely speaks,  
and I have no qualms with that,  
because Ayamine Kei is not one for conversing, either.

If she had her way, she would rather keep to herself every single day.

I'm more of a deep thinker—less of a talker.

I've long been convinced that talking accomplishes nothing in the world,  
not when only lies, lies, and more lies, are being told.

This I learned from the biggest liar of them all—my father...

I grew up under his wing,  
held him to my utmost respects,  
and listened faithfully to his every word.

But words are vain, actions cannot be feigned.

The only thing he truly taught me,  
was that in the end,  
he was a hypocrite...

He was a coward...

A deserter...

Nothing but a liar...

For my childhood hero to turn out to be the villain...  
It devastated Ayamine Kei... Distorted her view of society...

So, as much as I can help it,  
trusting in no one else but myself,  
my true thoughts remain in here,  
within the shelter of my own mind,  
where I can keep my secrets safe and sound.

If I do have to voice them out,  
I would only do so in the form of lies and jest.

In a world with a society full of deceivers,  
the Great Pretender, Ayamine Kei, will fit right in with the rest.

I'll leave it up to the listener to decide whether they want to believe me or not;  
or even the reader, if there are readers who are nosing around these private reflections of mine.

I can never be too cautious,  
so in case someone out there is stalking my thoughts right now,  
wouldn't it be more fun if I make them doubt all that they think they know about Ayamine?  
Or if I make them question everything they're reading about me?

Like—I can _think in my head_ that I care about Shirogane,  
but _do I really_?

I'm asking _you_ , by the way, O mind reader.

...

. . .

. . . .

Just kidding.

I don't know if there really are omniscient beings who are lurking in my introspections here and now,  
but just to be on the safe side: I do not care about Shirogane.

 _I... do... not._

Whatever.

What others think of me makes no difference to me anyway.

But... Shirogane—he's inviting me to doubt my way of life...  
He doesn't appear to be like the lot of them.

I never imagined that there could be someone so... honest...

I never imagined I would find another with little regard for society's opinion of him...

Another... who wants to be free... just like me...

All this I know, even if on the outside, Shirogane doesn't show.

...

It'd be nice to hear his voice more often, though.

But thinking about it–  
Silence is just another form of language,  
and it's a language Ayamine Kei can understand,  
through his face, his gestures, his expressions...  
and his—presence...

Shirogane... he must be hurting... on the inside...

The only reason I'm able to tell is because I am too...

 _still following Miki..._

Mind you, there are things about Ayamine Kei that I would never, ever want to share with anyone else,  
not even with my close friend Miki.

Things about my shameful past...  
My family's dishonour...  
And about the company I kept as I got older.

Even if those around me, at this moment, already know my history,  
I would rather lie and tell myself that they don't know the real me.  
But, I strongly trust—that if I talked to Shirogane,  
he'd be the only one who would understand the life of Ayamine...

He and I are akin to two lost souls, rummaging our way out of this corrupted world.

As it stands, I don't know if his path of honesty is the answer to this fractured society.

It's naive...

Childish...

A fool's paradise...

It's against everything I've ever stood for.

And yet.

Maybe—just maybe... this world needs more fools like Shirogane...

For now, I'll have to sit back and watch him take this path.  
I can even walk beside him... in case he goes astray...

...

. . .

. . . .

How did I unravel these profound impressions of Shirogane?  
I've only known him for three days.

Well—two, not counting today.

Have I become an omniscient mind reader myself, able to see into him?  
I'll have to double-check and find out if I have the same power on others.

 _Hmm_... I'm getting nothing out of Miki...

Too bad.

And besides... I have a feeling—no, it's darker than a feeling... call it a premonition—  
that staying at Shirogane's side will only result in my downfall...

But do you want to know a secret?

This sense of foreboding has no ill-effect on Ayamine Kei.  
I've been waiting to see the god of death for a long time now–

...

Hold on—I have to deal with Miki in the meanwhile.  
Her face is turning a reddish-pink.

 **(Miki)**  
You know, we have a better chance at finding Mikoto-san if we split up.

That simply won't do.  
Splitting up would mean I'd actually have to start putting in some effort of my own.

Therefore,

 **(Kei)**  
Disagree.

 **(Miki)**  
 _Heh_ –?

 **(Kei)**  
If we split up and one of us finds her,  
we'll still be separated.

 **(Miki)  
** So—we'll still have to find _each other_ afterwards.  
 _Uhh_... I guess we won't really be saving time that way then...  
Makes sense...  
Alright, let's keep looking together.

 **(Kei)**  
Smart decision,

I pat her on the head as a reward.

Yup—you can't beat me, Miki.

Actually.

I just made that argument up. I can't believe she gave in so easily.  
She really needs to learn to stand her ground–

 _*loud laughter*_

 **(Miki)  
** _Ah!_ Did you hear that, Kei-san?

I did too.

With all the foot traffic from the doctors and nurses bustling about,  
even on top of the clamour of their medical contraptions and instruments,  
I can easily tell apart the source of that booming laughter Miki and I just heard.

That childlike laugh can only belong to one person.

We run at the same time to where it came from.

It isn't too far from here; it's in the opposite direction we took from Yoroi's floor,  
just at the end of this next corner if I had to guess correctly.

 **(? ? ?)**  
 _–you're so right, you do look like Chop-kun!  
Your friends have good eyes!_

That sounds like Yoroi,  
and it sounds like she's talking to someone,  
and it must be about something amusing.

Miki and I turn around the curve.

Sure enough, we find Yoroi lounging on one of the benches, but–  
She isn't alone.

 **(Mikoto)**  
Hi Miki-san! Ayamine-san!  
Feels like it's been three years since we've been together like this!

* * *

 **Mikoto**

* * *

 **(Mikoto)  
** Please Nurse-kun! I'm so bored of these television shows!  
I need some fresh air~!

I implore pleadingly.

 **(Nurse)  
** Sorry, Yoroi-san. Doctor's orders.  
If you want to heal faster, I'm afraid the best thing for you to do is to do nothing.

Nurse-kun and I have been through this same routine every day since I got here,  
where I ask her the same question and she always gives me the same answer.

It's like that saying,  
 _'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.'_

I know, right?  
Nurse-kun is a ten out of ten on the insanity charts!

Don't get the wrong idea. I've only been here for three days,  
which to me, feels like a year!

But I really can't stand it—being confined in my room like this.

I need to walk around before my legs develop muscle atrophy,  
or else pretty soon I'll turn into a TV character in one of the shows that's always on the air!

Dad told me that that's what happens if I watch too much TV.

Except—this morning is a little bit unique.  
There's something off with my daily routine.

Since just before lunch, there's been a strange guy on the waiting bench outside the floor next door.

Whoever is inside that floor must be someone very important.  
There are doctors going in and out of there every five minutes or so.

 _Hmmm_... The stranger looks—familiar.

I can't see him too well, though. He's barely in the field of vision through my window,  
so maybe I should instead say that the stranger resembles someone I _should_ know.

Oh well—I'm stuck in bed; there's nothing I can really do in my condition.

Back to watching TV for me.

 **(Mikoto)**  
This is so lame~!

I bellow into the empty room, knowing that no one can hear me anyway.

Returning to my routine, my thumb twiddles the buttons on the TV remote,  
mindlessly flipping through the channels for the rest of the afternoon.

I wish there was something I can do to get better sooner.

If only I listened to Sakaki-san straight away back then,  
maybe I wouldn't have fallen into the trap...  
I did know about the landmines, though, and I warned her about them,  
so she should've listened to me sooner as well.

 _Ehhhh_ ~! I've wracked my brain around that scenario over and over again,  
but it's spilled milk at this point.

I guess it's been a good way to pass the time, thinking about what could've been.

Oh well, I'll just have to try harder in the next exam!

 _Ahaha~!_ This comedian's jokes are too funny!

 _Awww~!_ That puppy is so cute!

 _*Sob*_... Why did she choose to rescue him instead of his sister?

Oh look—it's Chop-kun.

I wasn't aware that they still aired this show.  
The last time I saw this was when I was still young.  
Or _younger_ , rather. I don't think I can be considered _old_ just yet.  
 _Ahaha~._

Speaking of which, it's just about time for class dismissal.  
That means my squadmates will be here shortly.

Hey—the stranger is stirring outside.

Looks like he's getting ready to stand up.

Has he been waiting there this whole time? I haven't really been paying attention to him.  
The patient must be very dear to him, for him to spend his whole afternoon waiting.

I can't help myself; I _have_ to talk to the stranger.

Sorry, Nurse-kun.

I crumple my bedsheets to the side and wear my slippers.  
I'll have to hurry, though. It looks like the stranger is moving away quickly.

But my haste turned out to be unwarranted.

It just so happens that the stranger simply wanted to transfer to the common waiting area.  
Although, there's no one in here but us right now.  
That's lucky for me—I don't know what Nurse-kun will do if she finds me outside my floor.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Mikoto?

Wha–, how does he know my name?

 **(Mikoto)**  
Hello to you too, Stranger-san~.  
Nice weather, huh?

I greet him back with nonchalance,  
leaning towards him from my torso,  
a smile carved on my lips.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Hard to tell, the weather is outside and I haven't been there at all today.

 **(Mikoto)  
** _*laughs*_  
Stranger-san has a good sense of humour~!

I position myself to take the seat next to him.

 **(? ? ?)  
** I didn't realize you were in the same area as Kasu–

 **(Mikoto)  
** _Eh?_ Do you mean in the Kanagawa Prefecture?

What a weird fellow.

Last I checked, we were all in the UN Yokohama Base,  
so we're obviously in the same area.

Or can it be that—was I moved somewhere else without my knowledge?

Stranger-san stifles a snicker underneath his breath.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Sure, if you say so. **  
** _Uhmm_ , my name is–

 **(Mikoto)**  
–Shirogane Takeru.  
It's nice to meet you, Takeru~.

I smile with even more satisfaction after seeing his reaction;  
I love hitting the nail on the head.

Surprised? Don't be!  
Information gathering is my expertise, after all.

Okay, you got me~. That was just a lucky guess.

The truth is, I was only able to guess correctly because,  
yesterday afternoon, Miki-san would _not_ stop talking about our new squadmate.

Seriously! On and on she went about him,  
I feel like I've lived a whole lifetime with the guy before even meeting him myself!

While Ayamine-san didn't say a word, she nodded at just about everything Miki-san had to say about him.

Sakaki-san didn't sound too impressed, but that's just her being her.  
The fact that she spent ten minutes complaining about him is a huge giveaway to her true intentions—if I read her correctly.

Mitsurugi-san sounded promising, saying that our squad will be a lot stronger once I come back.

I can't describe how excited I've been to get out of here and meet the guy they're all talking about.  
I can't believe he's actually here, with me, right now!

 _Hmm_ —I have to ask, though,  
because something's bothering me.

 **(Mikoto)**  
So Takeru, how do you know Mikoto's name?

I notice his eyes shift to his right.

I can't quite make out just yet if he's right-handed;  
but that mannerism would normally tell me whether a person is fibbing or not.

Dad taught me to pay close attention to people's eyes when I talk to them.  
He taught me that for most, looking up to the right indicates that they're trying to hatch up a creative lie.

That trick doesn't work on dad, though.  
He can keep his eyes fixed on yours and not blink the entire time.  
And—I'm not quite as good at reading people as he is...

 _Hmmm_... But why would Takeru lie to me, I wonder.

 **(Takeru)**  
We're part of the same squad, right?  
So Instr. Jinguuji told me all about you,  
including your name, naturally.

Curiouser and curiouser...

I pause for a moment to ponder his reply.

His excuse is convenient. Too convenient, in fact.

From Instr. Jinguuji?  
It can't be just that.  
If he has access to that kind of information,  
it can only mean–!

 **(Mikoto)**  
 _Ah!_ So you've already become close friends with everyone else.  
That's why you know so much about me, right?  
I'm glad we're in the same squad, Takeru~!  
It's too bad that we have to meet this way.

Why didn't I think of it sooner?  
My squadmates most likely miss me as well,  
so they've been pouring that affection by telling Takeru all about me.

You guys~...

 **(Takeru)**  
Don't worry about it, Mikoto.  
I'm actually glad we get to meet so early–

 **(Mikoto)**  
Hey—whom were you waiting for in that floor this whole afternoon?  
Also, I saw them drag you out of there around lunch time too.  
 _Ahaha!_

 **(Takeru)  
** _Uh_ , it's just Kasu–

 **(Mikoto)**  
Oh! And what's your favourite TV show, Takeru~?  
I've been cooped up in here for a long time now,  
I think I've watched every episode of every show on Earth!  
You name it, I've seen it!

 _Whoa_ , I think his lips were about to smile,  
but then he sighed out loud and erased all traces of it.

 **(Takeru)**  
As eccentric as ever, right Mikoto?  
 _Err_ –, the others warned me about you.

He's saying sentences unrelated to our conversation now.

 _Hmm_ —I should point out that he's being rude,  
but I'm not going to, because this is fun talking like this.

 **(Mikoto)**  
Your favourite TV show, Takeru~.

 **(Takeru)**  
You're out of luck—I don't watch any TV.

I thought Miki-san said that Takeru was 'so cool';  
he's turning out to be just a weirdo.

I should take it upon myself to help out the poor guy.

 **(Mikoto)**  
In that case—let me tell you about all the shows I watched today~.

I'm not sure why, but he suddenly hunched his head.

 **(Takeru)**  
Don't leave out any of the details...

 **(Mikoto)**  
That's the spirit!  
Now, there's this news segment I watched this morning–

 **(Takeru)**  
Mikoto, I was joking...

I think he said something but by this time I'm already busy enumerating every gig I've seen since this morning.

...

 **(Mikoto)  
** –and then I found out that this show about a puppet called Chop-kun is still on the air.  
I haven't seen that show in forever!

 **(Takeru)**  
You know, I've been told I resemble this 'Chop-kun'.

 **(Mikoto)**  
 _Eh?_ Who told you so?

 **(Takeru)**  
Friends, I guess. Back in the day.

My tongue pokes the back of my cheek as I inspect Takeru's face.

 **(Mikoto)  
** Chop-kun, you say?

Scooting closer to his seat, I use both of my hands to stretch out his cheeks, nostrils, and even to pull on a few strands of his hair.

After finishing, I conclude that there really is merit in what his friends say about him.

I can't help but laugh at how true it is.

 **(Mikoto)**  
 _Ahaha~!_  
You're so right!  
You do look like Chop-kun!  
Your friends must have good eyes!

Oh! Look!

I just noticed Miki-san and Ayamine-san staring at us.  
How long have they been at it?  
They should've said something!

 **(Miki)**  
So this is where you've been this whole time...

 **(Kei)**  
Special assignment, _right_...

 _Eh?_ What're they talking about?

Are they talking about me?

They're making it sound like I'm a hoodlum.  
I'm no hoodlum! I would be in class right now if the doctors allowed me!

And where are Sakaki-san and Mitsurugi-san?

 **(Takeru)**  
Spare me.  
I had more important things to do.

Takeru scoffs to the side.

But thank goodness.  
Miki-san and Ayamine-san weren't referring to me after all!

 **(Mikoto)**  
Takeru—what're they talking about?

 **(Takeru)**  
I wasn't in class all day.  
I was watching over Kasu–

No way!

My emotions let loose before I could take hold of the reins.

 **(Mikoto)  
** What!? Did you skip class today, Takeru?!  
That's bad, that's very bad!

I wag my finger in front of his face to emphasize how terrible it is to not show up for class.

 **(Takeru)**  
At least let me finish my sente–

 **(Mikoto)  
** You could get in serious trouble, you know!  
Truancy, insubordination, court martial, you know!

 **(Miki)**  
Settle down, Mikoto-san,

Miki-san grabs hold of my accusing finger and returns it to its owner.

 **(Miki)  
** Instr. Jinguuji assigned him his own classwork today,  
so he's been busy trying to get it done.  
Isn't that right, Takeru-san?

He stares at Miki-san and blinks a few times before shifting his eyes to his right again.

 **(Takeru)**  
Yeah—I had field work from Instr. Jinguuji...

 **(Kei)  
**. . .

 **(Mikoto)  
** Oh! You should've said so in the first place!  
Forget what I just said! I didn't mean any of those things.  
The worst punishment Instructor can give you is a 100-click nonstop run.  
 _Ahaha~!_

 **(Kei)**  
That's right...

Ayamine-san affirms my redress while nodding her head.

In the meantime, Miki-san joins me in my laughter.

 **(Miki)  
** You can believe Kei-san when she says it.  
I think that's the reason she's never skipped class after that one time–

 **(Kei)**  
–Not another word, Tamase.

 _Uh-oh_! She called Miki-san by her last name, which means–!

Miki-san freezes as Ayamine-san seethes in her direction.

 **(Mikoto)**  
 _*laughs*_

 **(Takeru)**  
 _*chuckles*_

 _Ah!_ There it is—I finally got to see him smile!

Mission accomplished, Mikoto! We did it!  
Even Ayamine-san cooled off instantly when she saw what I saw!  
Miki-san is giggling too (nervously, I might add).

I know—I'm easily impressed.  
But it's very tough for me to see that those around me are unhappy;  
simple smiles like these can positively make my day!

I'm glad today didn't turn out to be just another one of my routine days.

 **(Mikoto)**  
 _Ah!_ Miki-san, Ayamine-san,  
doesn't Takeru look like Chop-kun~?

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm afraid I must get going.

 **(Miki)**  
Wha–? We only just got here.  
You don't have to leave just yet...

 **(Kei)**  
Yeah...

 **(Takeru)**  
It's—bad timing, that's all.  
I would've wanted to stay a little longer,  
but I have a prior commitment later this evening,  
and there are some things I need to prepare before then.

That's too bad—I was really enjoying his company.

 **(Mikoto)  
** We'll see each other again shortly anyway,  
so don't miss me too much, alright Takeru~?

 **(Takeru)**  
Get well soon, Mikoto.  
See you in session tomorrow, Tama, Ayamine.

 **(Miki)**  
Bye...

 **(Kei)**  
. . .

As he stands up to leave,  
so does the heavy air of melancholy that was surrounding him.

And although I made no mention of it,  
this entire time, I was locked in an invisible struggle thwarting it away from Takeru.

Because I, Yoroi Mikoto, will never allow so much negativity to conquer my personality.

And it isn't Takeru's fault,  
my intuition tells me that he's holding onto a burden too heavy for one person to shoulder alone.

That is why I must get well sooner,  
so that I can help Takeru let go of that burden.

I turn towards Miki-san and Ayamine-san,  
both still staring at the spectre of the late presence where Takeru was just sitting.

 **(Mikoto)  
** I bet we're all thinking the same thing.

They switch their attention to me,  
and by the looks on their faces, I'm two for two with my guesses today.

So I smile my biggest smile at them.

 **(Mikoto)  
** I can't wait to finally get out of this hospital~!

* * *

 **Meiya**

* * *

The nerve of him.

 _*slash*_

Eschew for an entire day of class—  
Does he think himself so high and mighty?!

 _*slash*_

I am not branding the Instructor for a liar,  
but the reluctance in her words was point blank,  
I would be a fool not to notice it.

 _*slash*_

Several threads of straw take to the air with every swing of my katana.

I began this session against a straw-man,  
it has since been reduced to a straw-head.

Minaru Kamui—it ails me to diminish you to an outlet for my frustrations.

The blade slices through the remainder of the head before I return it to its sheath,  
leaving no hint of the straw figure that used to stand in the way.

I shut my eyes to revel in the fresh air,  
abandoning the opportunity to admire the setting of the sun.

I thought it fortuitous that I did not encounter Shirogane all day,  
so what is the cause of my upset?

Numerous questions exist for which I have no answers to...  
There is but one person who can offer me the answers,  
and that one person is nowhere to be found...

Perhaps—I spoke too dourly... to Shirogane... in the midst of his apology...  
Even though... it sounded... wholehearted–

Am I at fault for his nonattendance?  
Did I do him wrong by judging him harshly?

 _'Tss.'_

I find it difficult to believe that he is completely innocent of the affliction he imposed on me.  
I only defended myself as I saw fit.  
If today's absence is an effort to elude me, then Shirogane is no better than a dotard.

 _'This bridge must be burnt... There is no other way...'  
_ I told myself so, hoping the suffering would withdraw...

But it has not.

The visions remain with me,  
even harrowing my sleep for all of last night,  
and I can say with growing certitude that Shirogane will be to blame for my demise.

How is it possible... that nightmares... can feel... so—real...?  
Real enough that I can even dwell inside them?

At times, when I open my eyes, I find myself in a dim, faraway place...  
In the pilot seat, inside a cockpit of sorts...  
My body invaded by an alien lifeform...  
Tears welling down my cheeks...  
Shirogane's voice...  
A blinding ray of light...

And when I return to my senses, I'm back in the classroom...  
I haven't even left Yokohama base...

Am I being unfair... to Shirogane... by swearing myself to these mere visions?  
What if these visions are instead fabricated illusions?

But...

Why would he want to kill me?  
For what reason... do I beg of him... to end me?

I do not... understand... any of this...  
My spirit can only endure so much confusion...

Yet, I'm thrown into even greater chagrin as more hallucinations have been emerging...

For these nightmares—they exist only as a layer,  
and I've been able to peel back that layer.

I uncovered... dreams... biding underneath them...

I mean to say—  
As I continued to clash and resist the terrifying visions surrounding Shirogane,  
in the conflict taking placing inside my heart,  
they gave way... for the dreams... to come to light,  
like clouds parting after a rainfall so that the rainbow may arrive.

And in these dreams,  
I can see myself...  
in a distant world...  
of a different reality...

One... where I am... happy...

One... where I find love... in Shirogane...

In...

 _Takeru_...

These dreams...  
This bliss...  
I can almost touch them...  
And they seem more tangible than the nightmares...

My heart strongly wishes for it to be so.

But in the same manner as the first,  
at some point in my daze, I wake up only to discover myself in the present...

I cannot reject one while wishing for just the other.  
I cannot live only for the dreams, while ignoring the horror.  
Is it a sin to yearn for the touch of heaven's spell,  
and at the same time deny the existence of hell?

My left hand lets go of Minaru Kamui and clutches at the flesh between my bosom,  
foolishly trying to mend the wound in my heart, now torn asunder.

How has my insignificant life become entangled in all this tribulation...

In an attempt to distract myself, I tread towards the next straw figure to continue in my practice.

 **(? ? ?)**  
Meiya-sama–

 **(Meiya)**  
. . .

A commoner would've been taken aback by the abrupt arrival of this officer of the Imperial Royal Guard.

But not I;  
I have long been accustomed to her clandestine maneuvers.

However, I cannot even find it in me to acknowledge the overbearing Tsukuyomi,  
not in my present frame of mind.

 **(Meiya)**  
I have repeatedly advised you not to visit me in plain sight.

Without glancing at her, Minaru Kamui and I resume our routine on the innocent straw-man.

Shall Tsukuyomi decide to stay, her crimson red uniform will draw to myself unnecessary attention.

She appears to have approached me in solitary,  
sans the usual accompaniment of Kamiyo, Tomoe and Ebisu.

So—what stops me from simply asking her... to just leave me be?

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Your kind words are wasted on me, Meiya-sama.  
But I cannot stand by and ignore your transparent distress any longer.

Distress? She speaks as if I am unwell.

 **(Meiya)**  
How dare you–!

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
The elegance and form of your strokes are short of your wonted finesse.  
You have instead been hacking and smashing your target with neither rhyme nor reason.  
Have you forgotten the heart of swordplay?  
Meiya-sama, your grandfather did not leave you Minaru Kamui  
only for you to dull it with your frivolity.

She says, her expression without guile.

I have not neglected my training–  
But looking more closely at the lacerations on the straw figure, the ones delivered by my katana–  
Is my annoyance not at Tsukuyomi, but rather at the truth she exposes to me?

Even so. The hubris–!

 **(Meiya)**  
Tsukuyomi, I will not forgive you if you insult me any further–!

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
I apologize, Meiya-sama,  
but if you believe me to be mistaken,  
then I will gladly take the place of that straw-figure to accept my punishment.

Tension blocks my senses of the area around us,  
but it only seems to be surrounding me,  
for Tsukuyomi has yet to waver in her countenance.

She maintains her gaze in my direction, giving credence to her honesty.

 **(Meiya)**  
 _Tsk_.  
I... I will never ask that of you.

Blunt—as she always is.  
She is never one to sugarcoat her words.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Your judgment is most gracious, Meiya-sama.  
I did not present myself to insult you.  
I came here to listen, should you need someone to talk to.  
That practice dummy can perform the role of neither.

She proclaims this while pointing at the crumbling shape in front of me.

I do not deserve her courtesy...

I have not been myself lately...

My judgment? I admit... is clouded.  
My passions... they are misplaced.

I am... unwell...  
I need someone... anyone... to talk to...

It is timely that I did not push her away, as was my primary intention.

Thank you, Tsukuyomi, for not giving up on me...

 **(Meiya)**  
Please, lift your head up when you speak.  
Here, I am but a low-ranked cadet.  
Treat me like you would any other.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
You ask of me a difficult thing.

I empathize as much, for I also keep failing to address her by her proper rank and title.

 **(Meiya)**  
I suppose old habits are hard to die.

Once again, strands of straw float about the surrounding air.

Upon Tsukuyomi's arrival, I have restrained myself somewhat,  
regaining my composure in handling Minaru Kamui.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Is it your newly-appointed squadmate who is troubling you so?  
Then, it is my duty to inform you that there is disturbing information concerning Shirogane–

Enough—please...

 **(Meiya)**  
I have no want to hear about it.

I have heard enough of Shirogane Takeru,  
I now want to go back to living the life of Mitsurugi Meiya.

 **(Tsukuyomi)  
**. . . **  
**As you wish...

 **(Meiya)**  
Tsukuyomi, may I ask you a personal question?

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
That in itself is already a question, Meiya-sama.

With one clean swing, I sever directly through the torso of the straw figure,  
dividing it in half.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Forgive my arrogance–

She must have felt threatened by my improving technique, but I did not mean anything by it.

 **(Meiya)**  
No, you said nothing in the wrong.

In fact, I believe that was her attempt at cheering me up.  
I disgraced it by not returning her good will.

There was no need for her to apologize...

And truth be told, I am growing weary of listening to apologies.

 **(Meiya)  
** Tsukuyomi, there is no need for us to stand on ceremony.  
If you are here to listen to me as you say you are,  
then please, speak freely.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
I will try my best, Meiya–

I swing the blade once again, interrupting her before she mentions the honorific.

 **(Meiya)**  
I cannot speak my mind if I am confronted by First Lt. Tsukuyomi Mana of the Royal Guard.

I need to talk to only Tsukuyomi Mana... To the humane side of her,  
unhindered by rank and authority...

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
I understand clearly... Meiya...

That's more to my liking.

I decide it best to sheathe Minaru Kamui for Tsukuyomi to rest easy.

We start walking across the practice field, with no particular destination in mind.  
The crimson-clad officer follows suit at a short distance behind.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Were you not worried about drawing attention?

 **(Meiya)**  
You threw that out the window as soon as you revealed yourself to me.  
Besides, everyone else appears to be retiring for the day.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
 _Ah_... I'm sorr–

 **(Meiya)**  
–Tsukuyomi, do you believe in destiny?

The sounds of our feet falling on the dirt serve as the only noise in the background.

Orange dyes the field as the sun sits on the verge of the horizon, nearing its final setting.

Save for one or two others who are getting ready to leave,  
only Tsukuyomi and I will be witnesses to the rising of the crescent moon.

Tsukuyomi's facial expression relaxes.  
The stern lines at the edges of her eyes loosen,  
and the pout she was wearing is replaced with what some may call a smile.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
I did not expect that you would truly ask a question that was so personal.

 **(Meiya)  
**. . . **  
**I've been thinking to myself a lot lately...

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
About all things unpleasant, I surmise.

 **(Meiya)**  
There is no point in hiding it now.  
Well, what say you for an answer?

Tsukuyomi unsheathes her sword unexpectedly.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Draw your sword.  
Spar with me a little.

The light of day is growing thinner by the second, but I suppose we have time to spare for a brief duel.

The high pitch of my katana scraping the scabbard begins and ends swiftly as I draw out Minaru Kamui.

As fast as lightning, Tsukuyomi makes the first move and knocks it out of my hand rather suddenly.

 **(Meiya)**  
I am not yet ready–

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Destiny does not wait for you to be ready, Meiya-sama.

 _Tsk_. This isn't going to be a mere swordfight, it would seem.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Pick up your blade.

She says, while brandishing hers provokingly.

 **(Meiya)**  
So you do believe in destiny.

I parry her strike as she charges at me.  
The scream of metal crashing on metal resonates into the sky above.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Not bad.

She jumps backwards, allowing me to stand up and take my stance.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Yes and no.  
I believe myself to be a sword, and Destiny my wielder.

Tsukuyomi charges once more, and with experienced hands—again knocks out Minaru Kamui out of mine.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Pick up your blade.

She's making a game of me.

What good has all my training been for  
if I cannot even hold on to my own katana?

 **(Meiya)  
** Then do you submit that you are bound by your destiny?

Soon as I pick it up, I charge at her, this time taking the initiative.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
I submit to no such thing.

 **(Meiya)**  
But are you not in the hands of your wielder?

A few touches are exchanged,  
our swords having a conversation of their own.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Quite the contrary, Meiya-sama,  
for the wielder needs me more than I need them,  
because every wielder needs a sword–

To that, I can agree.

 **(Meiya)  
** I must also argue that a sword without its wielder is as useless as rock.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
You underestimate your own worth.  
Even without its master, it maintains its value in purpose and metal.  
Because a sword-bearer without his sword will not live for much longer,  
but a sword, even without its wielder, can last forever.  
What about you, Meiya-sama?  
What good is this duel if you keep losing hold of your katana?

She catches me unawares by delivering a heavy blow,  
Minaru Kamui nearly letting go.

I imagine an unarmed samurai would not be of much use in battle.

I tighten my grip on the hilt even more so,  
then resume my onslaught on her over again.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
In the same way, as a sword,  
I am merely an instrument that lets Destiny run her course.  
Because Destiny, she needs me,  
but I can continue to live my life without caring much for hers.

 **(Meiya)**  
And how do you manage to live like that?  
Is it not your duty to protect your wielder?

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
My duty is not to Destiny,  
but to her course—our final destination.  
And I already know the course she is taking me to.  
Hence why I allow her to carry me.

 **(Meiya)**  
You know where it is your destination lies?

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Without a doubt, Meiya-sama.  
I exist only to prepare for the day when the setting sun  
draws the curtain of night on the capital.

 **(Meiya)  
**. . .  
I pray that day may never come...  
For aneue's sake...  
And for mine...

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
As do I.

I unleash a furor of strikes at Tsukuyomi, all of which she sidesteps and repels without difficulty.

Both of us jump backwards, posturing ourselves in waiting for the other's next move.

Tsukuyomi continues,

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Your hold is improving.

It's thanks to you,

 **(Meiya)**  
You honour me with words,  
allow me to return the favour–!

I blitz forward and swing my katana upwards, hailing it down on Tsukuyomi.

She blocks it with her own sword by clutching it sideways, forming a cross locked against mine.  
Her right hand is on the handle with her left hand near the edge, where it holds the blunt side of her blade.  
This she did to support her guard.

 **(Meiya)**  
But Tsukuyomi...

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
What is it?

 **(Meiya)**  
What if someone you do not like is your wielder?  
What if your wielder is not whom you wish it to be?

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Does it matter dearly?  
As long as they take you to your destination–

 **(Meiya)**  
Then—what if... you are being carried... to the wrong destination?

She looks at me questioningly.

 **(Meiya)**  
This has nothing to do with Shirogane–!

Placing her weight on her shoulders, she pushes me backwards,  
but I immediately recoup my footing by stabbing the ground with Minaru Kamui.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Be mindful, lest you dull that blade.

 **(Meiya)**  
That is not your worry to bear.

Tsukuyomi shakes her head slowly.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Make no mistake, Meiya-sama,  
for _I alone_ decide my own Destiny...  
My own destination...  
Shall my wielder prove to be unworthy,  
I will not let them lay their hands on me.

She says this while slicing the air around her.

I do not like my wielder, nor do I like the course he is taking me to.  
But what authority do I have to say that this course is not the purpose for my existence?

 **(Meiya)  
** How do I know if the course we are taking is where I am supposed to be?

Questions, questions—my mind is filled only with questions.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
In that regard, I cannot help you, Meiya-sama.

I grunt soundlessly.

I expected too much, thinking she had all the answers.

If Shirogane dictates my destiny, and he's already revealed the end that's in store,  
then I shall take Tsukuyomi's advice and seize back control of my own path.  
Even if it means... pushing him away... tearing down our bridge...

However, the visions... still confuse me—for they still don't explain the actions of Shirogane...

Tsukuyomi lifts her blade up to her side, only to return it to its scabbard.

Are we finished here?  
I do the same with my katana.

Tsukuyomi watches me intently.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Are you familiar with the parable of two samurais?

 **(Meiya)**  
I have read many a similar tale.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Allow me to render this one in particular:  
Two samurais meet at a crossroads.  
The first is going east, the second, west–

 **(Meiya)**  
–They cannot pass each other,  
for whoever steps aside is admitting to be the weaker.

I have knowledge of this tale, although I do not see how this relates to our present conversation.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
No—that is a different story.

 **(Meiya)**  
 _Ah_. Then by all means, continue.

Her iris-green hair flutters to her side, as does her robe.

The cool, evening breeze is replacing the mild breath of the afternoon.

Tsukuyomi places her sword-hand on top of her chest, returning to her tale.

 **(Tsukuyomi)  
** They know one another, for the loved ones of the samurai going east were murdered by the one going west.  
They both run into the forest as the first samurai gives chase to the second.  
After a long while, he finally finds the robed semblance of the wrongdoer, sitting in rest.  
Holding on tightly to his sword, he pounces out of hiding and delivers a deadly blow that pierces right through the figure.  
He follows it up with a second blow to verify his kill.  
His blade, however, bends sideways.  
Alas—it was not the second samurai underneath the hakama, but merely a stone.  
The second samurai placed his garments over it as a disguise so that he may escape.

 **(Meiya)**  
He pierced—right through the stone?

I am unsure whether to be more impressed by the sword or the samurai wielding it.

 **(Meiya)**  
And how did he fail to notice upon the first strike?

She chuckles into her cupped hand.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
'Tis just a story, Meiya-sama,  
albeit one I enjoy personally.  
But if I were to take a gander,  
I believe he was only able to do so because he devoted the totality of his resolve into the first strike,  
to the extent that it felt much like cutting through butter.

I close my eyes and cross my arms, trying to understand the moral of Tsukuyomi's story.

 **(Meiya)**  
So the moment he landed his second blow, he no longer had the same measure of willpower,  
thus being unable to pierce it a second time and bending his sword.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Precisely.

 **(Meiya)**  
How does this tie into our talk of–

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
You asked of me,  
 _'How do you know if this course is where you are supposed to be?'_

Indeed, I asked that...

How can I walk the path laid down by Shirogane?  
How can I let him decide my destiny?

But—as Tsukuyomi says...

What if the destination he is leading me to is for a greater purpose?  
What if... Shirogane... has no say in it, as much as I do not?

There is plenty I have yet to understand...  
Or it may be that... I am preventing myself... from understanding...

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
And to that I answer you:  
That no one truly knows, not until they get there.  
It may be parcel of the human experience.  
The only advice I can leave for you is such:  
If you are unsure of the path Destiny is taking you to,  
then I suggest you walk with her a while and follow her through.  
Up to the day, to reveal it to you, she decides,  
remain steadfast in your resolve, so you do not bend on the second strike.

She says, placing a firm fist on top of her heart.

 **(Meiya)**  
Even if the second strike turns out to be for naught?

I see no purpose in staying true, only to strike a useless stone anew.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
 _Especially_ if it is for naught.  
Because you see, so long as you do not falter,  
Destiny, your wielder, can do her part and never stray from your course.

This is too overwhelming for me...

 **(Meiya)**  
You say all this with ease,  
but only because you were fortunate enough that destiny aligned with your wishes.  
I cannot say the same about mine...

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
MEIYA-SAMA!

I grab the hilt of Minaru Kamui on reflex at her sudden change of voice.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Is it death that you are afraid of?!

 **(Meiya)**  
Death? N–

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Let not the fear of death govern your fate!

The ground beneath my feet rumbles.

Tsukuyomi is once again rushing in my direction, both hands on the tip of her scabbard.

Quickly, I draw my katana just in time to answer the call of her sword driving down on my forehead.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Any swordsman can never truly master the heart of swordplay  
unless they release themselves from the distraction of death!

She continues to hit me relentlessly.  
I can feel my guards grow weaker with every strike.

One of my knees drops to the ground—my arms remain busy blocking her every impact.

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
Only then can you fight freely!  
Only then... can you take control... of Destiny!

She speaks the truth...

I have been too enraptured by the fear of death...  
that I surrendered myself before even fighting.

I surrendered myself...  
to the visions brought by Shirogane.

But the visions brought by Shirogane—  
The reasons for his actions, I have yet to see.

And until I see them, or when he reveals them to me,  
I shall walk this path to find my own destiny.

For I am my own sword, and Shirogane, my—destiny, my wielder.  
As long as they stay true, so will my edge never falter.

From this day onward, though my heart may be wounded,  
my spirit shall never again be broken by the shadow of death!

Show me your path, Shirogane, so that I may judge for myself...  
if giving my life up is worth going through hell.

Because... I would do it... I would gladly fight my way through hell,  
if I can only taste... another glimpse... of heaven... where my heart dwells...

 **(Meiya)**  
Tsukuyomi–!

My heart is stilled, thanks to you...

 **(Tsukuyomi)**  
—?

Taking advantage of her brief hesitation,  
I position one of my blocks to thrust her sideways.

In that moment when she's slightly off balance,  
I use my right leg, already on the ground, to sweep under her feet, knocking her down.

Tsukuyomi's sword slides a short distance away.

I stand up and raise my katana as it glistens in the fresh moonlight.

Smiling at her from above, I declare,

 **(Meiya)**  
I just wanted to say to you,  
 _Pick up your blade._

Her own smile was more of pride than it was of defeat.


	11. The Forgotten Valkyries

**Chapter 11 – The Forgotten Valkyries**

* * *

 **Mitsuki**

* * *

My name is Hayase Mitsuki.

Right-hand Lieutenant of the venerable Capt. Isumi Michiru,  
Callsign Valkyrie-03 of the UN's elite Special Task Force A-01,  
Storm Vanguard One.

This is what I keep telling myself to lift my spirits as the door to my simulator cabin heaves upwards;  
the hydraulics and pistons make a hissing noise in its ascension, reminding me of a boiling teapot that's been left on a live stove for too long.

Reason being, that as of right now, there is one more addition to the list of things that I am:  
One veeerrry sore loser.

 _Khh—that's much too bright._

The inrush of light forces me to hold a hand up to my eyes (at least until they adjust to this drastic transition).

It doesn't even open halfway when Misae's droll, unwanted voice reaches my hearing.

 **(Misae)**  
Oh my,  
I've never seen you manhandled so badly before,  
not since Taka–

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Munakataaa—shut up!

I angrily snap at her with no desire to indulge her satisfaction.

Touko and Haruko are just behind her. Akane looks worried. Tae and–  
 _Gah!_ Forget it! There's no point in noting every single one of their reactions!

Besides, I don't need their pity—and it's the sole emotion written on their faces.

As I jump outside, I shove them out of the way to stare daggers at the pod next to mine,  
the pod where my opponent lies.  
What I wouldn't give right now to shake down the rascal who brought upon this bombshell upset–  
But that will have to wait for later.

 **(? ? ?)**  
Don't push me, you lunatic!

First things first.  
The only person I need to see is the Captain, and boy is she about to get an earful from me.

 **(? ? ?)**  
Watch where you're going, Mitsuki–

Unintelligible gibberish—that's all I'm able to hear at the moment.

My armoured boots causes the whole place to tremble dangerously when I storm up the mezzanine towards the control center,  
where I can see Michiru and Haruka peering down at me from the opposite side of the bay window.

The gaps between each stomp of my boots falls shorter and shorter as I climb faster and faster.

At the touch of my hand, the door to the control room slams open to reveal the Captain and Valkyrie-Mum already facing me in anticipation.  
They most likely realize how humiliated I must be feeling, after the demonstration we all just witnessed.  
But what they _don't_ realize is that the feeling of humiliation is dwarfed only by my fury.

If they are any nervous at all, the masks on their faces convince me otherwise.

...

Are they—saying something?

Assuming that they are, whatever it is they're saying, I can't make it out.

 _Hmm_ —their lips are moving, so maybe they are?

I might've acted overly rash by running up here in a hurry;  
all I can hear is a high pitched sound ringing incessantly in my noggin.  
At the rate my pulse is racing, I'm afraid that my heart might beat right out of my chest!

It doesn't help that the air in this room is pretty heavy, as evidenced by my laboured breathing,  
and the tension is so thick that one will need a PB Blade to cut it through.

Michiru does so anyway, and not with a PB blade, no.  
Captain's voice is enough to reel in my sanity.

 **(Michiru)**  
That result was unprecedented...

 **(Haruka)**  
His movements are extremely—unorthodox...

The two of them say,  
although, they're not exactly talking to me.

Their eyes are surely in my direction, but I'm not the focus of their attention.

In fact, I don't think they're even talking to each other.

Stunned disbelief.

This is a symptom I've seen several times throughout my span on Earth,  
in civilians and soldiers and peoples from all walks of life,  
but never for an incident as petty as this.

 **(Michiru)**  
Unorthodox? It was utter madness.  
I couldn't keep my sights on him–

 **(Haruka)**  
Madness? I beg to differ.  
It looks to me that all of his actions were planned out, from start to finish–

 **(Michiru)**  
What makes you say that?

 **(Haruka)**  
Why, what he did at the end–

Haruka is holding onto a roll of papers, which I presume are the control logs of our recent simulation.  
The paper, I observe, is slightly quivering, giving wind of the anxiety in her fingers.

After mumbling to themselves for a while longer, the puzzled Michiru finally finds the time out of her busy schedule to notice my attendance.

 **(Michiru)**  
According to these, his reaction times are, on average, twenty percent faster than yours, Mitsuki.  
And you probably noticed during the fight, but he managed to override the landing recovery system when he–

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Michiru!

I finally interject and pound my fist at the door,  
but because of my armoured suit, I created an ear-splitting knock that was way more intense than I intended it to be.

My bad~.

I got the desired effect, though. Soooo...  
The end justifies the means—as the adage goes.

They take their attention off the logs and jump up in shock,  
their eyes filled with rebuke for my startling actions.

Those are the dirtiest looks I've ever seen them throw at me.

The joke's on them, though.

After years of putting up with it,  
I've grown impervious to their unjust abuse— _errr_ , scoldings, rather.

 **(Michiru)**  
Mitsuki, you lost–

 **(Mitsuki)**  
No I didn't!

I interject once again.

How many times must everyone remind of the painfully obvious?

Technically, _maybe_ I did lose—but I do have a legitimate excuse.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
You lied to me, Michiru!

 **(Michiru)**  
W–what are you insinuating–?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
You told us he was just a cadet,  
but after seeing first-hand what he can do in a TSF,  
I'm sure you don't even believe that yourself!  
So, in that sense, I was cheated.  
Which means I didn't really lose~.

 **(Haruka)**  
That doesn't change the end result–

Wait your turn, Haruka! I'm about to make my point!

 **(Mitsuki)  
** –And more essentially,  
why is someone of his caliber not in the front lines with the likes of us?!

I blurt out the obvious question lingering on the tip of our tongues.

Haruka tilts her head to the side, perhaps not understanding what I just asked.

 **(Michiru)**  
 _Huh_?

And apparently neither does Michiru.

 _*sigh*_

Do we really think so differently?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
A pilot... that's so–

I wrack my brain trying to find the right words to describe what I just went up against.

Skillful? Nah—too subtle.

Talented? _Ehh_ —too proper.

Adept? Like I would ever use a highly-complex word like that!

 **(Mitsuki)**  
–godly.

Bingo! That should fit it!

Hold on—did I just admit that he's better than me? Nooo! I take it back!

Alright, alright already.  
I lost. Buuut,  
I wasn't giving it my all!  
Of course! He obviously never would've stood a chance if I went at him 100%!

 _Unghh_ —who am I kidding?  
I sound like a weakling, feverishly trying to come up with excuses after excuses.

I'm not used to losing like this, so this is really throwing me off my game!

 **(Mitsuki)  
** –He should be sitting in a cockpit, not behind a desk!  
What's the official memo on why he hasn't graduated yet?!  
What about Jinguuji-sensei? What's she up to, holding him back from us?!  
We even talked to her this afternoon, right Haruka?  
And before we left, I told her I'd give him some hell–!

I pause for a split second as a crooked thought occurs to me;  
a thought so crooked—it even makes me gasp to myself.

Did Jinguuji-sensei know about this? About this raw talent of his?

If so, that may be why she advised me not to go easy on him,  
because that was a _warning_ , not a _request_!

Of course! It all makes sense now!

Why else would she wish me good luck?! Because she _knew_ I would _need_ it!

 _Uuoo_ –! Sensei really pulled my leg on this one.

Oh—and what if everyone is in on this too?

I carefully study the guilty faces of Michiru and Haruka.

They're all in this together, aren't they?  
I've been set up!  
This is a base-wide effort to shame their best Eishi, Hayase Mitsuki!

 _Ahhhh_! I'm getting paranoid! This loss is messing with my head!

 **(Haruka)**  
Earth to Mitsuki–

What the–! When exactly did I walk up to Haruka, grab her by her shoulders, and start shaking her?

Oh no—I'm losing it. I'm nearing my wit's end!

I cough on purpose to pretend to clear my throat while letting go of her,  
but not before ironing out the wrinkles I wrought on her uniform.

After all, I still have my dignity, so I should act with my usual class and panache–

 **(Michiru)**  
I forgot to mention this, but,  
it's only been three days since Shirogane was conscripted.  
He is nowhere near graduating–

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Nandateee_ ~?!

Oh...  
My...  
Good...  
Goddd!

What little shred of dignity I had left just got decimated...

Every passing second only gets more and more flustering!

Not only did I lose to a _cadet_ ,  
but I lost... to a _T-S-F virgin_ _?!_

Sure, I've been told he was new,  
but Michiru just now decided to let me know that he's only _three days new_?!

So this is it—my fall from grace... This is how it all ends for Hayase Mitsuki...

 **(Michiru)**  
Well, he's had previous training elsewhere, I believe.  
He wasn't very clear on that point.

That still doesn't sound very reassuring, Michiru.

Pull yourself together, me!

Compared to this overwhelming onus of embarrassment,  
laying waste to hordes of BETA is a stroll in the park!

Indeed, the way these events are unfolding,  
I would give _anything_ for the company of BETA instead!  
At least I could smash them down, dice them up, run them over–

 _Uuuu_ —just thinking about it gives me goosebumps!

That settles it!  
I'll make up for this craving in the next mission by kill-stealing twice as much from my squadmates.

 **(Haruka)**  
Michiru... I'm getting worried.  
She has that crazed look in her eyes again–

Did someone say something?

 **(Mitsuki)  
** _Hmpph~._  
Be that as it may,  
we all watched the same fight and we've all seen what he can do.

Haruka nods her head ever so slightly.

Actually—I decide to grab at the logs she's holding on to so dearly.  
She's clutching them as if all the answers can be found written on these papers.

But these scribblings don't mean _anything_!

So in an act of annoyance, I pretend to read and flip through the pages at an abnormal speed,  
then I repeatedly point and tap on the sheets that fail to paint the entire picture.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
The time for analyzing data is passed,  
let's try to figure out where we should go from here!

And I know exactly where that is.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Don't you see it? He should be _out there_! Fighting with _us_!

I exclaim to Michiru, my arm stretched and my index finger pointing to the direction of 'out there'.

They both look flabbergasted—insomuch that they seem to have lost their voices.

I don't believe my message is getting across to any of them.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Hellooo~? Can anyone hear me?

Michiru rattles her head like she just snapped out of a trance.

 **(Michiru)**  
A... aren't upset that you were defeated?

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Oh?

 _That's_ what they were worried about this whole time?  
That I'm _upset_ for _losing_?

 **(Haruka)**  
 _Uhmm_... We thought you'd need more time to get over the loss–

 **(Mitsuki)**  
–Of course I'm upset!

I hate losing _more than anything_!

 **(Mitsuki)**  
But I'm _more_ upset  
that a pilot like _him_  
is cooped up in _here_  
while _we_ are _out there_!

I say with as much emphasis and passion as I can muster, again pointing aimlessly to the direction of 'out there'.

Unbelievable.

Insulting, even,  
that they think me so simple-minded.

Buuut—maybe I shouldn't blame them for judging me based on my past behaviour.

Because while I do throw tantrums for losing mock battles,  
I'm never one to lose sight of my priorities,  
and tonight, my priority lies in ensuring we put to work our newly-unearthed pilot prodigy,  
who right now, in the elementary stages of military training,  
is as useless as a TSF without an Eishi, collecting dust in the hangar.

Now that I think about it—they should all be praising me for digging him up!

That's right! Because of me, we've exposed Shirogane's true potential!  
That was my plan all along~!

Haruka takes back the log sheets from my grasp, now crumpled due to my excitement.

 **(Haruka)  
** Mitsuki, look at this.

She leads my eyes to a specific portion in the log.

 **(Haruka)**  
He never fired a single bullet the entire fight...

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Youuu–!

 _Grrrrrr_ ~! She's rubbing salt in my wounds!

In my mind, I'm pulling out my own hair.

In reality, I'm shredding Haruka's log into several pieces.

The way I see it, this is what's going on:  
everybody appears to be stuck in the present, in marvel of his spectacular performance,  
while here I am looking to the future, impatiently wondering why such talent is being squandered at playing-soldier when he could be a real soldier.

I get it, I get it.  
I concede that he made me look an amateur.

But I should let them all know that it's time to move forward!

And just for the record—by no means am I trying to distract everyone into forgetting that I lost.

 _Uh-uh_.

Just outside the bay window, on the deck below, where the simulator cabins are,  
I can see everyone restlessly moving about.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Captain!

It's time to stop beating around the bush!  
I'll spell out every letter of my message to Michiru if I have to!

Putting on my most respectable salute yet (that I reserve only for the most special of occasions),  
I eagerly declare to her,

 **(Mitsuki)**  
I formally request the addition of Shirogane Takeru to this squadron, Ma'am!  
Such an addition would not only greatly increase the success rates of our missions, but also the number of soldiers coming back from them.

I then walk up right to the window, and pointing to the rest of the squad below,

 **(Mitsuki)**  
I think I can speak for all of us when I say,  
A-01 desperately needs all the help we can get, Ma'am!

There's no way Michiru can say no, right?

 **(Michiru)  
** Cut the act, now you're just getting way out of character.  
You sound more like a salesperson than an Eishi.

 _Uuoo_! She saw right through me!

I can't help it! Excitement got the better of me.

A salesperson? Selling was never my strongest asset; I don't know why I even bothered.

 **(Michiru)**  
Go change into your uniform.  
I have to speak to the XO for advice.  
Don't get your hopes up, though.  
It'll have nothing to do with your request.

Nooo! Did she just deny me outright?

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Buuut~!  
It only makes sense for him to–!

 **(Michiru)**  
–Mind your words, Mitsuki.  
Do as I say for now.  
Dear me...

For some reason, she's rubbing the back of her eyelids.

I don't understand. I thought it was _I_ who was defeated in the mock duel,  
but the way Michiru is acting right now—one would think that _she's_ the loser.

Maybe—she did lose something? Like a bet, for instance?

That makes it worse, because her current dismay denotes that she placed her bet on me,  
and that would mean that I let her down.

 **(Michiru)**  
You don't even realize the mountain of troubles you made me have to go through now,  
so make yourself useful and set this aside for later.

 _Tsk_! She sounds serious, but I'm equally (if not more) serious about my request too!

I shake my fists in front of my face.  
Should I press on or give it up?  
I simply can't lose this chance! I _cannot_ lose such a valuable pilot!

Why is Michiru passing up on this?!

...

But—Michiru knows what she's doing... She always does.  
I might have to just trust her on this, like I always do.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Such a wasteee~!

If I have to back down, I'll do so with a bang.

The complaint fills up the entire room, possibly even reaching the others outside.

Michiru smacks her forehead and dismisses me with a weak, exasperated laugh.  
Beside her, Haruka coolly lifts her right hand to straighten her necktie.

 **(Haruka)**  
 _*laughs*_  
Mitsuki, how unlike you, not thinking straight at all.  
You're just too fired up for finding someone who can best you.  
It isn't wise to make important decisions when you're hot-headed like that.

My fists unroll as I throw my hands up in the air in temporary surrender.  
They make a loud chopping sound on the way down, landing on my hips.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Ha-ru-kaaa! There was no need to say that out loud!

She doesn't even flinch.

She's still beaming at me, actually.  
But my senses detect a tinge of danger in that smile of hers.

I'd rather not set foot into those waters;  
she can get a lot scarier when she's mad...

No matter—I'll get back at her later, only because I'm busy right now.  
She won't even know what hit her when the time comes.

I turn to face the Captain once more—my battle is far from over.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Alright, I'll do as you say.  
But I'll be back immediately after I get out of this armoured suit.  
I expect you to have a real answer for me by then!

 **(Michiru)**  
Wait! A real answer for what?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
You know what I'm talking about!  
I need the answer that I want!

 **(Michiru)**  
Wha–! You can't just–!  
That's not how this works!  
Do you think it's that simple–?

Pretending not to hear her stuttering, I launch myself out of the room and waltz back downstairs with renewed vigour.

As soon as I reach the lower deck,  
everyone tries to gather around me, also wanting to find out what happens next.

Too bad I don't have time to explain, though.  
I have to get into my officer's uniform, by order of the Captain!

Hey—that's odd...

Shirogane Takeru's simulator cabin is yet unopened.  
Does he live inside there or what–?

 _Hmmm_...

If memory serves,  
no one saw him enter it, either.

He arrived an hour earlier than all of us, alongside the XO.  
The Professor mentioned something along the lines of 'he was testing the thing out', or 'he's warming up', or...

I don't really know for sure—I was too riled up myself to pay her much attention at the time.

...

This is exhilarating!  
To think that there's an _even better_ Eishi than–

 _'All in due time,'_ I tell myself, containing my excitement.  
I'll be able to meet him after I get dressed anyway.

 _Uhhh_ , we do get to meet him—right?

 **(? ? ?)**  
Hey.

The sudden, cold touch of an arm wrapping over my shoulder blades made me vault on impulse.

My immediate reaction was to turn around to find out whom it belongs to, but...

That voice... ( _not again_ )... it's from the one and no other—Munakata Misae...

 **(Mitsuki)**  
What gives? Go back and hang out with everyone else!

Translation: leave me alone, Misae!

 **(Mitsuki)**  
And why isn't Touko with you?

It's the first thing I noticed, and it being bizarre, I just had to ask.

The two of them fit each other like a hand in a glove.  
 _Oops—that didn't come out right..._

What I'm trying to say is, you don't usually see one without the other.

 **(Misae)  
** I sneaked my way out so she didn't notice when I left.  
Anyway—where are you headed?

My attempts to walk past her are rendered fruitless.

Even with the extra leg strength from the armoured suit, Misae is matching my pace.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
I'm on my way to the locker room.

 **(Misae)**  
Then that's where I'm headed too.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
W–w–w–wait a minute!  
Are you sure you want to watch me undress?

That should get her out of my hair.

She's wasting her time by following me around,  
but more importantly—she's making me waste _my_ time!

 **(Misae)**  
Yes, I very much want to.  
Why else would I be putting so much effort into following you?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Uuuuu_ ~! I was joking!

 **(Misae)  
** That's too bad, because I wasn't.

She says so with a devious grin.

The most dangerous thing about her is not knowing whether she's genuinely joking or not.

Great—just great.  
This is exactly what I _don't_ need right now—her whimsical company.

 **(Misae)**  
What were you talking about for so long?  
We all overheard you say that something was 'such a waste'.  
Were you perhaps calling yourself that?

 _Ah!_ They did hear me after all.

Sometimes, I don't realize the volume of my own voice,  
I should really work on that...

 **(Mitsuki)**  
We talked about the battle, obviously.  
Speaking of which—what did you think about it?

 **(Misae)**  
I already told you,  
I've never seen you so manhandled before.

I'm on to her and her provocative choice of words;  
all she wants is to stir the pot and get a rise out of me.  
But once again, all I have to do is deny her the satisfaction.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Sooo—was it crazy of me to ask Michiru to requisition him to join our company?

An eerie laughter comes from Misae's lips.

 **(Misae)**  
You were already crazy before that,  
so Michiru's opinion of you can't sink any lower.  
Oh—this is what Haruka told me in confidence,  
but I won't be a good friend if I kept it a secret from you.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Harukaaa!

I play along with her fib, although it isn't quite as fun if the victim isn't present.  
Haruka already has a tab with me, anyway.

...

Oh—I'm saved!  
It's about time we reached our destination!

After I open the door to the room, Misae proceeds to her own locker.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Huh_? So you've decided to change too?

 **(Misae)**  
Why certainly.  
This will be our first meeting with the mystery Eishi,  
so we better look our best,  
in case—you know.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Know wha–?

Ohhh, I get it.

I'm very impressed (but not in the good way) that she said that like it's the most obvious response in the world...

As I'm undoing my armoured suit, I steal a glance at Misae getting out of her fatigues.

She must want to be in her officer's uniform as well.  
I never knew that Misae cared about her appearance that much—if at all.

 **(Misae)**  
Don't be shy about peeking,  
I won't tell anyone if you won't–

 **(Mitsuki)**  
I wasn't–!

 _Uuuu_ —I almost took the bait.  
Eyeballs to our self, Mitsuki!

...

There we go. My armoured suit is neatly folded.  
Now all I have to do is stack this in my locker and replace it with my uniform.

I never got a hold of my uniform, though.

That's because something else was draped over my arm before it even had the chance to get past the door to my locker.

 **(Misae)**  
What do you think you're doing?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
What is this?!

This piece of cloth she threw on me...  
It looks like—a towel?

And why is Misae—naked?

What on earth is going on?!

 _Ufff_! She grabbed me by the wrist!

...

...

...

Before I can fully comprehend the blur of events that just transpired,  
I'm hitting the showers... along with Misae.

 **(Misae)  
** Why do you look surprised?  
I did say that we have to look our best.  
Don't you realize how terribly you smell?  
It's the odour of a wild animal.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Nghhh_ –  
Even if I admit that I smell bad,  
why do we have to be in the same stall?!

There are two showers to the right, two more to the left, and five on the opposite side.  
Yet Misae chooses to share one with me.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Hey! Get your hands off the knob!  
The water's too hot!

I try to grab it to turn down the high temperatures raining down on me,  
but Misae is keeping me at bay by barring me with her slippery arms.

 **(Misae)  
** This is perfect the way it is.  
I prefer my showers steamy.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Steamy? This is more than steamy! It's scalding!

 **(Misae)**  
Don't worry, Mitsuki.  
It only hurts at the start.  
It gets a lot more satisfying once you get used to the heat.

Damn her and her innuendos.

But—she's right.

This shower does feel refreshing now.

Satisfying even, to borrow her words.

I can feel my head clearing up a bit.

Maybe there is some method to Misae's madness after all.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** That feels wonderful~...

I might as well enjoy this.  
T–t–the shower, I mean!

...

I pour some of the shampoo onto my palm,  
and while using my fingers to gently lather the suds into my hair,  
my scrimmage against Shirogane Takeru comes to mind.

How can someone be that good with nil real-world experience?

But, on top of that—where did _I_ go wrong in my own actions and decisions?  
If I have any hope of beating him next time, I'll have to learn from my mistakes!

 **(Misae)**  
You're thinking of him, aren't you?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Hey hey hey! Hands off!  
Soap your own back, leave mine alone!

 **(Misae)  
** The soap slipped,  
I'm trying to pick it up.

Yeah, sure it did...

 **(Misae)**  
By the way, Mitsuki,  
what exactly happened during the fight?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Eh?_ Weren't you watching from the monitors?

She said so earlier, didn't she?

 **(Misae)  
** I was.  
I watched it from Shirogane's point of view, however.  
He was far too rough, even for my liking.  
The way he moved in and out, this way and that—  
I nearly fainted at the end.  
But even with my unsullied eyes,  
I can tell how badly it must've hurt for you.

I stop myself from asking her to elaborate, for obvious reasons.

I don't need to see his POV screens to understand what Misae is trying to say.  
Being an ace pilot myself, it was made unmistakably clear to me as his opponent on the battlefield.

From the outside, looking at him, the rapid and sudden movements he made his TSF do...

To successfully carry it out, one would need an ironclad set of mental and physical capacities,  
not to mention a phenomenal sense of balance,  
to survive all those G-forces without passing out, simulation or not.

 **(Misae)**  
Lay it on me.  
Unless you'd prefer that we stay here for a bit longer–

 **(Mitsuki)**  
–Fine!

Anything to get her off my skin, in the literal sense!

I try to relay it to her as best as I can remember:

The sim began with nothing out of the ordinary.

I didn't expect much of a fight, to be honest,  
so I toyed with the enemy a little,  
going so far as taunting him by saying I'll 'go easy' on him.  
(To be clear, I know what the phrase means. Haruka was just being silly earlier.)

I hate to admit it—but maybe my overconfidence led to my downfall.

He ran straight at me from the get-go–

I say 'ran', but that's an understatement.  
He jumped, slid, glided, sprinted, twisted, jetted—every sort of movement possible on a TSF, he performed flawlessly.  
Its routing was unbelievably efficient in his mission to draw closer to me.

And I also say 'straight',  
but it was more like, 'all over the place'.

For the life of me, my computer couldn't decipher the pattern of his movements.  
So while I normally shoot at where I expect the target to be,  
my target was everywhere else but there.

After I wasted hundreds of bullets on dirt and air,  
he stopped for an instant and jump-boosted sky high.

 _'Perfect_ ,' I thought to myself, thrusting my way to the area I figured he would land in.

As I got myself into position,  
I took aim at the exact spot where his trajectory will take him.

But when he touched the ground, his TSF tripped and started to stumble–  
Or so I thought.

My bullets whizzed past where the enemy's head was supposed to be.

The following actions he performed seamlessly, without delays in between:  
His TSF crashed on its back into the earth,  
then it boosted again in the direction away from me.

In addition to the cloud of dust he created during the landing collision,  
more dust gathered in my line of sight as a result of his jets propelling the clouds into my purview.

With my vision obscured, I can only rely on my sensors.  
But thanks to the intense temperatures from the exhaust of his jets, he ionized the particles in the dust cloud,  
rendering my sensors inaccurate, and thus my auto-target useless.

He crashed his TSF _on purpose_ just to avoid the bullets I aimed at his head.  
He fell on his back to magnify the size of the cloud of dust created.  
And he jetted in reverse to drive the cloud in my direction to surround me.

Hold on... for just one second–

How did he _intentionally_ crash it, when the OS forces him to stabilize his fall and land on his feet?

So that's what Michiru was talking about...

Regardless—that was an extremely reckless, but otherwise cunning, maneuver.  
Even Misae looks impressed.

My position now exposed,  
I blindly shot at the unreliable targets displayed on my sensors.

I didn't see his TSF again—not until after my own was immobilized.

The dust settled to reveal him holding out his PB blade, stabbed squarely through my chest.  
I never even had the opportunity to draw my own halberd for close quarter combat.

My monitor mocked me with my apparent simulated death.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
I didn't sense a single wasted movement on his TSF...  
Efficiency... agility... accuracy...  
This is definitely no rookie I was dealing with.

I conclude to Misae, now walking back to the simulator room.

 **(Misae)**  
 _Huh_ —so that's how it was.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Yeah, impressive, wasn't it?  
Even I wouldn't have thought of–

 **(Misae)**  
–Not that.  
From your point of view that must've been what you saw,  
but Shirogane's screens told another story of what happened.  
It's such a small difference though, it probably doesn't even matter.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
What do you mean?  
Don't say something like that only to leave me hanging!

 **(Misae)**  
Alright, but only because I enjoyed our shower together.

Why you–!

I try to reach my palm over her mouth, in case someone happens to eavesdrop on her ridiculous version of the events in the locker room.

 **(Misae)**  
He didn't really 'crash', as you thought he did.  
Mere seconds before he was about to hit the ground, he pointed his jet boosters downwards and went full throttle.  
He never touched the earth, but by doing it the way he did, it created that enormous dust cloud.  
Afterwards, he turned the boosters towards you to push the cloud your way.

Oh—of course.

Why did I think of it as a crash in the first place?

A TSF hitting the earth like that wouldn't be capable of creating a dust cloud of that magnitude,  
but the extremely high velocity, high temperature exhausts of the jet engines in full throttle—  
now, _that_ would scatter dust as if it were flour.

Besides, a full-on crash from a boosted jump at that great of a distance would've caused serious, if not fatal, damage to his TSF.

I know he was trying to be reckless, but that's borderline suicidal.

Unless—he calculated the fall and timed the landing down to the millisecond.  
In that case, even I can't put an IQ number to his piloting genius.

 **(Misae)**  
It did pay off at the end.  
But you know, I can't figure out how he leaned his TSF backwards as he was falling.  
You'd think the controls would automatically stand him upright on the way down.

 _Ah_ —she noticed too.

Yeah—how can that be explained?  
Was he given a faulty simulator?  
Maybe his landing was improvised _because_ it was faulty, and not because he planned it?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
All that matters now is that it worked out well for him,  
and for that, he deserves my respect.

 **(Misae)**  
 _Hoh_ —I think you grew up a little bit just now.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
I _am_ a grown up, you jerk–!

 **(? ? ?)  
SIMULATION COMPLETE**

The loud computerized voice greets us upon our re-entry into the simulator room.

What happened here?  
What simulation was just completed?

 **(Misae)**  
Touko! What's the latest news?

Misae jogs up to the crowd gathered around the monitors.

 **(Touko)**  
Misae! Mitsuki!  
Where have you guys been?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Answer Misae's question!

No time for courtesies—I need to know what's going on!

 **(Touko)**  
 _Uhmm_ , just after the two of you left–

She glares at Misae,

 **(Touko)**  
–the XO and Michiru ran another simulation,  
this time on a hive infiltration.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Whaaat~?!  
They decided to do one without me–?

How could they?!

 **(Akane)**  
First Lieutenant! Welcome back!  
What took you so long–?

Unfortunately, I didn't hear a word from Akane.

My eyes are glued to the big letters on the overhead screen.

 **–Phase 4 Hive Infiltration: Mission Successful–**

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Touko—who's... in there...  
in the simulation...?

I ask, my voice empty... hollow...

 **(Touko)**  
 _Huh_?  
What's the matter?  
You look pale.

I know for a fact that none of the newly christened Squad 207-A members are in it,  
because they're all out here, with us, jaws wide open, staring dumbfounded at the monitors, as I am.

 **(Akane)**  
 _Uhhh_ , there's the new guy from 207-B—Shirogane Takeru, I believe his name was,  
and there's First Lieutenants–

 _*hiss*_

 _*hiss*_

 _*hiss*_

The sound of three simulator pods opening up occupies my ears again.  
Shirogane's cabin is as still as it was before I left.

I catch sight of the first person to exit.

Oh—I should've realized it sooner,  
but since they're the only ones missing from the deck apart from Michiru and Haruka,  
of course it would have to be them in the simulation.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Hey! What's this all about?  
You did a hive infiltration sim without me?  
Why wasn't I invited to the party?!

I lash out at him, tapping my foot loudly in an exaggerated show of annoyance.

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Oh—glad to see you again, Mitsuki.

He says while stretching his neck and arms, freshly stepping outside the simulator pod.

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
You were gone for too long; we waited a good fifteen minutes for your return.  
When it went past that, Yuuko got tired of waiting and asked us to proceed.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Tsss_! I can't have been away for that long, can I?

I turn towards the clock—23:34...  
Just over an hour since I left.

 _Grrr_...

Mu... na... ka... ta... Mi... sae...  
What... have... you... done...?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Are you telling me...  
I missed out on this...  
Because of a stinking shower?!

 **(Misae)**  
Are you feeling alright, Mitsuki?  
You don't look so well.  
Has the hot water perhaps made you ill?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
I missed this because of _you_ –!

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
–Oi, aniki!  
We have to talk, now that 13 can't hear us.

The girl in the second pod interrupts me.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
Nee-chan, get in line.  
It's my turn to give him a piece of my mind.

Lastly, the brat in the third pod makes his entrance,  
the ragged scarf around his neck flutters in this windless room as he stomps his way towards us.

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Are you two still complaining about that?  
We did it, didn't we? And without a single casualty.  
I recommend that you move on and get over it already–

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
Aniki—he deliberately disobeyed almost every single one of your orders!

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
True, but he seemed to know what he was doing and where he was going.  
I made a judgment call and thought it best that we follow him.  
We did our duty to protect him from the rear.  
So—no harm, no foul.  
 _*laughs*_

The brat drives his foot down in disbelief.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
What?! How can you defend someone who disobeys a direct order from their superior?!  
That shit is punishable by death in some militaries!

 **(Misae)**  
 _Whoa_ , watch the language–

 **(Touko)**  
–Especially in front of the newbies.

Touko points towards those from 207-A,  
all of who are frozen in place.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
You two should stay out of this–!

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
 _*laughs*_

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
What's so funny, aniki?  
Are you not taking this seriously–?

He stops laughing instantly.

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
You condemn the actions of Valkyrie-13,  
but the two of you aren't exactly practicing what you're preaching, now are you?  
I'm the only one taking this seriously,  
the both of you are playing victim to a crime that hasn't even been committed.

He draws attention to their insolence towards their fellow officers.

Brother and sister both hold their tongues, realizing their hypocrisy and stepping back from his stern shift in tone.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
 _Tsk_...

The brat cocks his head to the side to release himself from the ice cold stare.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
He could've gotten Nee-chan, you and I killed several times back there...

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
It's Shinji and Takayuki all over again–!

Where did that come from?!  
That's it—this is where I have to step in.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
–Stop right there!  
Are you really going to bring them up at a time like this?!

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Calm down, Mitsuki. I'm sure she meant nothing by it.

 _Damn_ —things escalated quickly.

I don't know what happened in their simulation,  
only that they accomplished their mission,  
making their current outbursts even more nonsensical.

But if they think that they can talk about my beloved Takayuki...  
They have no right to say his name... after what they did to him–

 **(Asakura)**  
 _Uhmm_...  
You guys...  
were incredible...

One of the 207-A recruits says, bringing an end to the awkward silence.

 **(Takahara)**  
She's right~!  
Your teamwork was perrrfect~!

 **(Tae)**  
We have a lot to learn from you, Sirs! A–a–and Ma'am!

 **(Haruko)**  
 _*laughs*_  
It was so cool how you all adapted to 13's sudden actions almost immediately!

 **(Akane)**  
But... Valkyrie-13 is in a league of his own...

 _*sigh*_

Thanks to Asakura, the floodgates have opened.

They're all rambling in endless admiration,  
throwing questions left, right and center,  
acting like the newbies that they are.

Great job, Asakura.  
As expected from Michiru's protege.

...

Although, I have to admit,  
that even for them,  
finishing this hive simulation is incredibly remarkable.

We've run it through with the whole squad numerous times,  
and the few where we succeeded were never without casualties.

So for them to complete it with Shirogane...  
And for everyone to survive...  
 _How good is he really?_

 **(Haruka)  
** Atten–tion!

Almost mechanically, everyone on deck turns to face the Captain descending from the control center, greeting her with a stark salute.

 **(Michiru)**  
As you were.  
Great work on the hive infiltration.

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
** Much obliged, Taijou.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Don't mention it,  
'twas nothing.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** _Hah!_ You were sweating bullets back there!  
A few times your voice even started squeaking after screaming for so long–

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Nee-chan!

Michiru holds a fist up in the air to signify their immediate silence.

Thank god—they really piss me off with their constant bickering.

Beside the Captain, Valkyrie-Mum has a weird look on her face,  
one that says ' _I know something you don't'_.

Michiru clears her throat before continuing,

 **(Michiru)**  
I'm sure you're all curious as to the identity of Valkyrie-13,  
even more so now that we've seen the results of his piloting.

She glances sheepishly at Haruka.  
Is she looking for support?

 **(Michiru)**  
I... I have been granted permission by the XO to introduce him to the squad.

Why is she looking at me, almost scornfully?  
Did I do something wrong?

Excited whispers come from my right side (that's where all the newbies are).  
I wonder what they're saying?

As their role model, I put on a dignified, serious face.

Take note, greenhorns. This is what a professional looks like–

 **(Michiru)**  
You're allowed to tell him your name, rank and title.  
You are _not_ allowed to ask him questions.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _N–n–n–nandateee_ ~?!  
B–b–b–but!  
I have questions that need answers–!

This time, I can hear snickers from my left.

 **(Michiru)**  
–I repeat: _no questions_.  
We are still a highly-confidential unit within this base,  
we have to keep it that way.  
Don't forget.

That sounds like a direct order reserved just for me.

I grit my teeth.

There goes my chance to ask him if he wants to skip school altogether and swim with the big fish,  
because if Michiru wasn't going to do it, then I planned to take matters into my own hands.

 _Tsk_.

At least I get to see him;  
I can still get to scope out the pilot that beat me, even if it's to a limited extent.

 _'That will have to suffice for now,'_ I try to convince myself.

 **(Michiru)**  
Without further ado, everybody line up around his cabin.  
He'll be coming out when we're ready, according to the XO.

We all scurry about to get into position.  
It doesn't take long at all for us to do so.

Everyone's excitement is exuding into the entire atmosphere, I can almost smell it.

 **(Michiru)**  
Well everyone,  
meet...  
Shirogane Takeru...

 _*hiss*_

That hissing noise again—I've heard enough of it for one day.  
Why can't these stupid doors open any faster?

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

This isn't exactly the cockpit of a real TSF,  
but the interior of the simulator cabin resembles it too accurately,  
and if it wasn't for the monitor screens in place of the window to the outside world,  
I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Even as I commandeer my imaginary TSF,  
the hydraulics in this unit closely emulate the feeling of the reactionary forces of real-like movement one would experience out in the battlefield.

With all the times I've spent in the pilot's seat,  
the thrill and adventurous nature of being an Eishi never gets old for me.

However—I'm having a hard time rekindling that thrill...

Holding on to the controls reminds of my powerlessness to save them...  
Capt. Isumi, and Haruko, and Mitsuki, and Haruka, and...  
For all of my lauded prowess as a pilot, it made no difference in the end.  
I was useless... helpless—when it mattered the most...

I can't use the comms system either, for fear that I might hear the ghosts of Class Rep, Ayamine, Tama and Mikoto, speaking to me from beyond the grave.  
And if it wasn't for my naiveté... my—weakness... they wouldn't have had to resort to making that recording... just to keep me from faltering...

Pulling the trigger makes me sick the most...  
I have yet to pick up my Assault Cannon...

 **(Yuuko)**  
Shirogane—how are you feeling?

Yuuko-sensei's voice over the comms radio removes me from my mind trip.  
Her face also appears on the holographic screen, eyes filled with scrutiny—or is that worry?

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm doing alright,  
just glad that it's over.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Really? After all that insane movement you forced on your TSF?  
 _Hoooh_ —maybe you're the real deal after all.

What insane movements is she talking about?  
The whole thing felt natural to me.

 **(Yuuko)**  
So what do you think about the prototype?  
Is it as you envisioned?

 **(Takeru)**  
It's—very impressive...  
As expected from my genius of a sensei...

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _*laughs*_  
Flattery will get you nowhere with me,  
but feel free to keep trying.

I wasn't trying to flatter her.  
This is truly... incredible... on so many levels...  
And she pieced it together within a day, to boot.

 **(Takeru)**  
I ran into one slight hiccup, though.

 **(Yuuko)**  
You must be talking about your near-crash landing, am I right?  
What happened there?

 **(Takeru)**  
Yeah. The XM3 did what it's supposed to  
by allowing me to override the landing auto-balancing system,  
but I think the gyroscope messed up my orientation during the jump,  
so I had to slow down my fall using the thrusters earlier than planned.  
It forced me to land leaning on my back so that the counter-weights on the shoulders could get me in position.  
Had I not done that, Mitsuki would've had a clean shot to my TSF's head.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Now you're just nit-picking.  
In emergencies like that, the experience of the pilot comes into play,  
as you have theatrically proven.  
You can't make the OS do all the work for you, you know.  
I'll have the engineers look at the gyroscope settings, anyway.  
They should be able to patch it up. I must've overlooked it,  
now that you're putting more strain on the system, and–

 _Uh-oh_ , she's getting into her lecturing zone.  
I have to do something–

 **(Takeru)**  
Thank you, sensei.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Yeah, yeah, whatever.  
I hope you realize what you just did can't be used in a real fight against the BETA.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm not stupid.  
I'm an easy target for Laser classes after a high jump like that.  
But I'm up against a human—and it's First Lt. Hayase, no less.

In any previous world, Mitsuki would have me grovelling at her feet within minutes.

How many lifetimes did it take Shirogane Takeru to get on her level, and above it?

Thousands, at the minimum.

Even in the mock battle that just ended, I had to act extra cautiously.  
She seemed to know where I was about to go at every turn;  
her bullets were aimed at the spots I would've been in two seconds later.

Thanks to the XM3 prototype, even though it's not quite complete,  
I was able to react to her every shot just in time to avoid its trajectory.

To defeat her, I had to do something drastic.  
Something she would never expect.

If I fought like I was fighting against BETA, I would be needlessly placing limiters on myself.

 **(Yuuko)**  
That's good,  
so long as you're aware of that.

 **(Takeru)**  
So—I guess I won Michiru's bet,  
which means you can introduce me to everybody?

I only really care about avoiding the other side of the bet,  
the side where, if I lose,  
Michiru tells the entire base that I called the training program an 'anthill'.  
I don't want to carry the reputation of 'that pompous douchebag', or anything crass like that.

I'm sure she was just joking about blackmailing me—but, just to be safe...

Furthermore, introducing myself to A-01 has little relevance to me this early on,  
but at least I get to establish a connection between them and the Causality Conductor.  
I honestly don't know if that'll do anything—there's no harm in trying, anyway.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Not quite yet.

 **(Takeru)**  
What? Are you going back on your word–?

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _My_ word? No.  
I'm not going back on anything.  
The bet you made was with Isumi, not me.

 **(Takeru)**  
Then why the hesitation?

 **(Yuuko)**  
I feel like making a bet of my own.  
Actually, it's not really a bet.  
Think of it as—a challenge.

A what?

 **(Yuuko)**  
I'm placing you in a five body platoon,  
I want you to run a hive infiltration sim with them.  
If you succeed, you win Isumi's bet.

That wasn't the deal...

 **(Takeru)**  
You say there are just five of us?  
That's impossible, no?

I regret the words as I let them out.

Operation Ouka had five TSFs and one Susanoo on the inside,  
even if none of the TSFs made it out alive...

 **(Takeru)**  
I don't really have a choice in this challenge, do I...

 **(Yuuko)**  
I told you before, but I guess I have to say it again.  
You always have a choice, Shirogane.  
It'd help me greatly if you play along with this, though.  
The results might be very—interesting...

She has that sinister grin on her face again.  
It's the one she wears when she's up to no good.

 **(Yuuko)**  
That settles it, then.  
I'll have everything prepared.

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

Her screen switches off, and the radio dies down.  
I'm left to myself once again...

...

 _Gah._  
There's no resting for me.  
I can't get any shut-eye,  
these visions just won't leave my head–

 **(? ? ?)**  
Aniki?

That voice—it came from the comms radio.

 **(? ? ?)**  
Aniki, do you copy?

It's the voice of a girl.  
Is... is she calling for _me_?

 **(? ? ?)**  
Hey, Unlucky-Number 13,  
06 is asking if you copy.  
You better answer her before she starts yelling.

Number 13—I think that's the callsign Michiru tentatively assigned to me.

 **(Takeru)**  
N... number 13—copy.

 **(? ? ?)**  
 _Phew_ , I was beginning to think you were a mute.  
I mean, how the hell would we communicate if you can't talk, right?

 **(? ? ?)**  
Nee-chan would've had to learn sign language on the go!

 **(? ? ?)**  
Nope, I refuse to.

I've never heard their voices before...  
Are they still from A-01?

 _Hmm_ —the girl might be one of those I never encountered from 207-A,  
a classmate of Akane and Haruko.  
I believe that some of them passed away or got seriously injured before I joined the unit in previous worlds.

But the boy, I never heard of another guy–

 **(? ? ?)**  
That's enough chatter, you two.  
The simulation will commence shortly.

And—that's the voice of another man.

The way he's talking, it sounds like he's the flight leader;  
most likely a First Lieutenant.

His voice has the same composure as Capt. Isumi's,  
compelling and willful.

Actually, his voice... sounds–

 **(? ? ?)**  
13, this is the flight leader,  
Callsign Valkyrie-02.

 **(Takeru)**  
Roger that, Sir.

It does sound familiar—but... whom does it belong to?

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
You're taking the role of our Gun Sweeper.  
06 is our Strike,  
and 07 our Gun Interceptor.  
We're waiting for Mitsuki—she'll act as our Storm Vanguard.

 _Damn_. That means I'll have to use my Assault Cannon.

 _Hmmm_ —with just five of us, having a Storm and a Strike Vanguard at the same time is rather ultra-aggressive.

 **(Takeru)**  
Wait—does that mean that you're the rear guard, Sir?

How can he effectively give orders all the way from the back, though?  
The leader usually takes the position of the Right Wing Gun Interceptor to issue commands more effectively.  
But, our Gun interceptor is Valkyrie-07.

Also, does he have more authority over First Lt. Hayase?

Yeah, now that I think about it.

Valkyrie-02—that was Mitsuki's callsign back then.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
Don't worry about aniki,  
he's worth the graveyards of a million BETA.  
Or was it two million? Have you still been counting, aniki?

A _million_?  
Is he... that good... of an Eishi?

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Get your story straight,  
there's a huge difference between one and two million.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
 _*laughs*_  
Is that so?  
But it doesn't sound like it.

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
06, 07—save the horseplay for after we're done.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Geeeez.  
You turn into such a hard-ass every time we get into these seats.

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
 _*chuckles*_  
Not every time–

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
Nee-chan is telling the truth, aniki.  
It happens _every single_ _time_.

They're talking so casually to each other.  
They sound... close-knit...

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Oh—I've received word from the XO.  
There appears to have been a miscommunication between her and Taijou.  
Mitsuki is unable to join us.  
Looks like you just got promoted, 13.  
You'll be our Storm Vanguard.  
I'm sending you the details of the route we're taking.

 _Damn_ —that doesn't bode well for us.

We're down to four, and we don't have a Gun Sweeper.  
How do we clear out the bigger waves we'd run into?

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Wait! What about me?!  
I'm next in line after anego!  
I should be the Storm!

Mitsuki... is... anego?

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Let's keep it this way, 06.  
Besides, you've always been the Strike,  
there's no reason to change that now.  
13, did you read me?

 **(Takeru)**  
U... understood, Sir.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
 _Nghhh_...  
You better not let us down, 13.  
We expect a lot from you,  
after what you did to anego.

She must be talking about my mock battle with 'anego'.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
You're taking the wrong approach, Nee-chan.  
You have to place the bar low to begin with.  
That way, you don't set yourself up for disappointment.  
Right, 13?

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
** Enough! That's no way to make the new recruit feel welcome.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
'Feel welcome'?  
We're infiltrating a hive, aniki.  
You hear that, 13?  
This is your rite of passage.  
You'll 'feel welcome' when we get to the reactor.  
Or—should I say, _if_ —we get to the reactor.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Good one~.  
 _*laughs*_

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
Thanks, Nee-chan.

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

God...

I hope they aren't this chatty during the operation...

Speaking of which...

 **–Simulation begins in 3... 2... 1–**

 **(Valkyrie-02, 06 and 07)  
** No man or woman left behind!

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Let's go!

It's a standard infiltration sim,  
much like Operation Ouka.

The bulk of the forces are outside the hive, surrounding the Monument  
and drawing out the BETA swarms,  
while our platoon is charged with sneaking our way into the Main Hall,  
reaching the reactor, and destroying it.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
10 o'clock!

06 turns that way and makes minced meat of the sizeable group of Warrior and Soldier classes.

 _Damn_ —she's... pretty good... Maybe almost as good as Mitsuki?

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
06! Don't engage unless I say so!

Good call.  
We have to save our ammunitions; there's no method of supplying us down here.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
 _Tsk_! Goddamnit 07!  
Why'd you have to mention that they were there in the first place?!

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
It's so you can avoid them, silly.

...

I've been following the path details that 02 sent me,  
but there's something about this stab that makes me feel like I've been here before...

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
** 13! Stay on course! You're veering off course!  
 _Khhh_!

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
W–what do we do?! He's doing his own thing!

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Maintain formation–

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
You should be telling that to _him_ , aniki!  
 _Our_ formation is still intact!

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Then follow and re-form around him!  
13—do you copy?  
13! Do you read me?

 _'Roger,'_ I say, without actually saying...

This drift—it vaguely resembles...

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
13, save your bullets–

Sometimes, I see droves of BETA appear in front of me,  
but they don't live for long against my Type-74,  
and I've had to unholster my Assault Cannon a few times now.

The battle instincts in me take over like an autopilot switch that was flicked to the 'on' position;  
now, any BETA that comes in my way gets spontaneously slaughtered.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
You don't have to worry about his bullets,  
at least he's using his halberd.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
This damn idiot will be the end of us!  
How the hell are you not freaking out at him, aniki?!

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Restrain yourself, we're doing well so far.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
No kidding, he just erased 250 Tank classes.  
It was like watching Moses part the Red Sea.  
 _*laughs*_

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
But he's way off course!

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
 _He's_ the course now, so stay on it while I try to reach him.  
13—do you copy?  
13? 13?

...

Is this... Yokohoma... Base?  
Or—Hive, before it was turned into the Base?

I can tell... every tunnel... every crevice... every nook and cranny we just passed...  
It's like I'm walking through the Barracks, the Underground offices of Yuuko-sensei, Kasumi and Sumika's room...

I feel like I'm reliving the Base defense, after the battle at Sadogashima.

Actually, wasn't there a Yokohama Hive assault a few years ago?  
And wasn't A-01 involved in it?  
I'm sure that that operation had a codename.

...

Deeper and deeper we go...

...

If I'm right about this,  
if I take this shaft downwards,  
we should end up at the–

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
What the f–?!  
He just took a dive into that tunnel!

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Then what're you waiting for?  
Jummmppp!

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
Goddamnit!

This is it. We've arrived.

There isn't a Gate class strain in here like there was in the Original Hive,  
nor is there a large reinforced steel door like the one back in the Yokohama Base reactor.

The passage to the Main Hall is clear and unobstructed,  
all I have to do is walk straight ahead.

 _Ah_ —I can hear the others not too far behind.  
They finally caught up.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
 _Whoaaa_ , save some for us next time.

She remarks, pointing to the fresh corpses of Grappler classes, and Tank classes, and Soldier classes, scattered all over the floors.

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
** 13, is there something wrong with your radio?

 **(Takeru)**  
No, sorry.  
I hear you loud and clear, Sir.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
Then why have you been ignoring us?!

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
** There's no time for arguing, let's keep moving.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
What if he just takes off again–?!

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Move! We've arrived, you see?  
He led us straight into the reactor.

Yeah. This is where Mitsuki took her last stand.

Only—the reactor isn't the only thing in here.

Hundreds—no, thousands of columns occupy the vast space in the Main Hall.  
But the columns aren't there to support this structure.  
Each of them... carries... a brain pod... exactly like Sumika's...

The three with me don't seem fazed at all.  
How can they march through here without being stricken by the depravity in this hellhole?

I always thought that hell would be painted in the red of fire and blood,  
but I was mistaken.

Blue is its colour—blue is its anthem.

The hue pulses darker, then brighter, and darker again, in an endless cycle of limbo,  
giving off the illusion that this whole place is alive and breathing.

That is a lie, of course—because out of the thousands of dead souls that remained in this damned chamber,  
only one brain pod showed signs of life that day.  
Only... Sumika...

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
Hey idiot—time to evacuate.  
The S-11s have been planted.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh_? Is someone staying to set it off?

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
No one has to, it's rigged to detonate in two minutes,  
which is plenty of time for us to escape through the Main Shaft.

Mitsuki said the same thing–

I can't let that happen again, and if it has to, then better me than anyone else.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'll stay to make sure the S-11s go off–

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Shit—this one has a death wish.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** _*laughs*  
Awww_~  
He thinks he's noble.  
How cute.

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
13, rest easy.  
You're coming out with us.  
 _'No man or woman left behind'_ —  
didn't you hear our motto?

 _Ah,_ the Main Shaft is directly above us... just like in the Original Hive...

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Let's get outta here!

. . .

 **–Mission Successful–**

 **(Yuuko)  
** * _sigh_ *  
Looks like I lost.  
 _Err_ —Isumi lost, I mean.

I lean back on my chair, suddenly flooded by a strong surge of exhaustion,  
though it's not my body that's burnt-out.

It's... my mind...

The lack of sleep... the long days... recalling all those forgotten memories...  
They're all taking a heavy toll on me.

 **(Takeru)**  
Sensei,  
I'm through with all these bets and challenges.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Don't worry, it's near midnight.  
 _*yawn*_  
I need to get some sleep right away, too.  
I've been up for nearly 48 hours, thanks to you.  
So, no more shenanigans.  
All that's left is your prize.

 **(Takeru)**  
Yipeee,

I say boorishly.  
All that work for something so minuscule in reward.

 **(Yuuko)  
** I've ordered them not to ask you any questions,  
in case you feel uncomfortable about sharing your—origins...  
But as always, I leave that decision up to you.  
And thank you for your help, by the way.  
I gathered lots of useful information for the XM3  
from the readings of you and your platoon.

Now that she mentions them,  
it might be worth asking her,

 **(Takeru)**  
Who were they, if I may?

 **(Yuuko)**  
Oh? You don't recognize them?

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I'm not so sure...  
I don't think I do–

 **(Yuuko)**  
Well, you're about to meet them anyway,  
so I'll save the suspense for then.

 **(Takeru)**  
Killjoy...

 **(Yuuko)**  
What did you call me–?

I shake my head to the woman in the screen.

 **(Takeru)**  
Nothing at all.  
I'm heading out,  
see you later.

I step outside the cabin to find myself surrounded by Capt. Isumi and Squad A-01.

I'm... standing... once again... in the midst of the company of the greats.  
The unsung heroes, whose names will forever be buried in the hallmarks of the dead–

 _Gah!_ Stop thinking like this, Takeru!  
I'm dishonouring their memories by belittling their sacrifices.

Have I learned nothing from all the time I've spent with them?

That's right.

I should look them all in the eyes with my head held high,  
and be proud that I was a part of their lives.

...

There are a lot of familiar faces, as well as unfamiliar ones.

Those girls must be from 207-A, judging by how nervous they look.

 **(Michiru)**  
Shirogane, congratulations.  
You were very impressive throughout both simulations.  
Now then—allow me to introduce you to my squadron.

 **(Takeru)**  
Thank you, Captain.

 **(Michiru)  
** So, these are the members of Regiment A-01,  
the XO's personal special missions unit.  
Everyone, this is Shirogane Takeru–

 **(Haruka)**  
I believe you mean _Company_ A-01, Ma'am.  
It's been years since we were a Regiment.

 _Ah,_ I found First Lt. Hayase.  
She does not look pleased...

I intentionally try to avoid meeting her gaze, as difficult as it is;  
her eyes seem to be trying to drill directly into my skull.

...

 **(Haruka)**  
–First Lt. Suzumiya Haruka.  
Pleased to meet you, Shirogane.

 **(Takeru)**  
You too, First Lieutenant.

 **(Michiru)**  
–Oh, and as before,  
you don't have to be too stiff around here.

 **(Takeru)**  
O... Okay–

I nearly said 'Ma'am'.

...

I've already been through this meet-and-greet;  
there's nothing I can really do but wait until everyone chants their name,  
after which I can acknowledge them or say 'nice to meet you too',  
then rinse and repeat with the next and next.

The veterans that I know so dearly are wearing the same expressions on their faces as they did the last time.  
Even First Lt. Hayase (apart from the trace of annoyance in her demeanor this time around).  
Otherwise, she's as confident as ever.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Welcome to Isumi's Valkyries–  
That's our unit nickname.

 **(? ? ?)**  
Oi oi oi,  
I don't remember voting for that nickname, anego.

 **(? ? ?)**  
Yeah, neither do I.

I turn my attention to the rear of the crowd around me.

Three of them—still in their armoured suits;  
they must be the Valkyries I just did the infiltration with.

I can't see them too clearly from where I'm standing,  
what with the lighting and the distance between us.  
But—I don't believe I recognize any of them...

Valkyries-02, 06, and 07, was it?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Who cares? We've been through this before!  
It's not like we'll ever use your old squadron's name.  
 _You_ joined _us,_ remember? _  
_The day we join your squadron is the day we use your name.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
But we never asked to use the old name either–!

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
 _Hah_. We've been in the same company for over a year now,  
why start calling ourselves Valkyries all of a sudden?  
I was perfectly happy with Knights.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Oh—by the way,  
it's after the Knights of the Round Table, Takeru-san.

Wha–?

She winked at me.

And she's raising an open palm to her cheeks.  
Is that supposed to be a whisper?

Everyone can hear you, you know. And see you too.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Okaaay—but Knights are mostly men, in case you weren't aware.  
Seeing that there are more girls now,  
it'd be more considerate to rename the group–

Whoa—Mitsuki looks even more on edge.  
Maybe her earlier irritation wasn't at me, but at that guy instead?

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
By that logic, the Valkyries are _all women,_  
and in case you haven't noticed, there are two—I mean, three–

He corrects himself and points his brows at me,

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
–men in the room!

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Yeah, I'm not too keen on that nickname either, anego.  
In one of the lores, all the Valkyries end up perishing in the final battle–

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
See? That's a bad omen.  
Let's stick with Knights.  
Female Knights paint a pretty lovely picture anyway, m'lady–

He's bowing to Mitsuki like a gentleman would.

It's not mockingly. It actually appears very sincere,  
but the fact that it does only seems to agitate her even more.

 **(Touko)**  
The Knights of Camelot eventually turned on each other and tore themselves apart,  
ending the reign of King Arthur.  
 _Uhmmm_ —something to think about.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Checkmate! Nice backup, Touko!

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Enough, we're running in circles with this idle banter over a simple name.

On cue, the three of them quit their yapping.

Looks like 02 has a strong hold over them,  
or perhaps they respect him enough to listen to him.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Ahaha~._  
Valkyries it is!

I take it back. Mitsuki answers to no one but herself.

She says this with a triumphant smile, holding up a V with her index and middle fingers.  
Impressive—that was rather quick for her to loosen up just like that.

And I don't think she can really claim that victory as her own...

 **(Michiru)**  
 _*coughs*_  
Misae, you're next.

 **(Misae)**  
Yes Ma'am. First Lieutenant of Platoon C–

The roll call continues ceremoniously;  
some of the same jokes from the past are told in between,  
but I've been busying myself trying to get a closer look at Valkyrie-02.

That is undoubtedly a voice I've listened to once upon a time;  
I just can't quite place where from.

From my vantage point, I can only see him from the side.

His arms are crossed, his eyes closed.

The man is taller than me, but he doesn't look like he's that much older.

The brown hair on his top is a shade darker than my own.

Dressed in the same black and purple armoured suit as me and 07,  
his bearing is made more prominent: rigid, yet proud and respectable...  
Almost reminiscent of... Tsukuyomi's?

...

 **(Asakura)**  
–Second Lt. Takada Asakura.  
It's very nice to meet you, Shirogane-san~!

These are the girls who graduated before us—those from Squad 207-A.

It's difficult to discern their personalities based solely on their appearances,  
but if they are anything like their counterparts from my home world,  
from Suzumiya Akane's Class D,  
then I would be doing myself no favours if I underestimate their competitive spirits.

After all—they did surpass Class Rep's squad in this world,  
and that's no small feat.

Asakura has short hair of golden-orange, with bright blue eyes to go along with.

She's no taller than Tama, even wearing the same genuine smile as her.  
I guess where they differ is in attitude, because Asakura is radiating with confidence.  
Tama will get there eventually, though.

 **(Takahara)**  
–Second Lt. Majima Takahara~,  
please just call me Takahara~.

Takahara's green hair, lighter than Touko's, sways to and fro in tune with her head as she recites her name almost lyrically.  
Her voice is melodic, captivating, soothing;  
entirely out of place in this rough circle of battle-tested soldiers.

 **(Tae)**  
S–s–s–s–second Lt. Tsukiji Tae, Sir!  
I mean, not-an-officer, Sir!  
I mean, Shirogane-kun!

 **(Akane)**  
 _Ahaha_ ~.  
Very bold, Tae-san!  
You warmed up to him rather quickly,  
 _Ahaha~._

 **(Tae)**  
 _Eh?_ Did I?  
 _Hiyaaa_!  
I really did!

That's—not as left field as one may think...

I've seen Tae a few times at school.  
I can only describe her as... Akane's shadow hugger, or secret admirer, or whatever...  
They're like Touko and Misae; maybe not as 'intimate', but close to it.  
And it's kind of a one-sided relationship (at least I think it is).

But if my home world was any good of an indication,  
I know better than to mess with Tae the most,  
because like a cat,  
if you pet her, she'll scratch you back–

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Finaaally~,  
it's my turn!

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
Geez Nee-chan,  
you're getting excited over something like _this_?

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
You bet I am!  
We rarely get to mingle with people outside of this company.

 **(Misae)**  
That's the whole point of an undercover unit.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Nice try, Misae. **  
**But another point of an undercover unit is _not_ calling it an undercover unit,  
especially in front of people who aren't in it.

She points a finger at me as she counters Misae's case.

This is a first—Misae doesn't seem to have a witty comeback.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Whateverrr~.  
Sue me for wanting to make friends.

 **(Valkyrie-07)**  
While they're busy arguing, my name is Drachen.  
 _Uhhh_ — _Captain,_ Drachen.

 **(Valkyrie-06 and Mitsuki)**  
What the hell do you think you're doing–?

 **(Drachen)**  
Whattt~? We're an undercover unit, right?  
Ergo, that's my undercover codename.

Kashiwagi Haruko steals my attention with her abrupt laughter.

 **(Haruko)**  
 _Ahaha~.  
_ At least make your codename more believable,  
 _Captain_ _Dragon_.

Everyone laughs along with Haruko's humour.  
Everyone—except for one.

The real Captain,  
remaining a spectator to all this,  
places a hand on one hip, while the other hand covers one side of her face,  
which is shaking in disapproval.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Hey Kukiko—get your brother under control already.

 _Ah,_ make that two un-laughing people.

I think I see smoke coming out of Mitsuki's ears.  
She must despise the guy... a lot...  
She's making no effort to hide the fact.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Let him do what he wants, anego.  
We're free spirits, last I checked.  
Anyway, Takeru-kun,  
I'm First Lt. Fukui Kukiko.  
You can call me Cookie, though.

She says with a smile.

Actually, that's not entirely true.

The way she's lifting up her chin, it's teetering on the fine line between a smile and a sneer.

 **(Takeru)**  
Coo...kie?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Yeah, just like the delicacy.  
Have you ever had a cookie? That's how sweet I can be too.  
Actually, I can't remember the last time the kitchen baked us any–

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** –Don't let Nee-chan's wiles fool you, 13.  
She's actually more ruthless than she looks,  
and she also goes by the name Butch.

Butch? Isn't that a guy's name?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Ryuusei–!

She jabs him at the shoulder, but he's quick to the block.

They're siblings... I just noticed...  
(as if their similar looks aren't enough to come to that conclusion).

Man, I'm slow.

The two of them are slightly taller than I am, but only by an inch or so.

Both carry the same jet black mane.

Cookie's bangs are combed neatly in the front, concealing her forehead,  
while the rest of her hair is held in place by a pearly-white headband and flows all the way behind her back, settling right at her waist.

Ryuusei's, on the other hand, is short and clean-cut, but messy and prickly, like the dorsal of a hedgehog.

His hair, too, has the same sheen as his sister's.

Dark grey irises make up the centerpiece of their eyes,  
surrounded by flesh with the complexion of a cool, light bronze.

There's a scarf wrapped around Ryuusei's neck;  
it's hard not to notice, because of how it sticks out (like how a Fortress class stands out in a sea of Tank classes).

It's filthy, not to mention—ugly?  
No, that's not the right way to describe it.  
But it's like someone cut several random pieces of cloth and just stitched them all together,  
an amalgamation of rugs and quilts and patches of–

 **(Ryuusei)**  
Stupid Nee-chan, you blew my cover!  
 _*sigh*_  
Oi, 13, don't get any weird ideas.  
My name's not Ryuusei.  
It's Ryuusei _u_.

 **(Touko)**  
Does one letter make that big of a difference?  
You always make a fuss about that even though–

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
–It makes _all_ the difference, Touko-chan.

Misae fidgets like she's about to say something,  
but she gets interrupted before she has the chance.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Either way, call me Ryuu for short.  
I'll answer to Drachen too—I kinda like the sound of that one.  
Ryuuseiu is the name my parents gave me,  
so it's not a name I'm fond of.

 **(Touko)**  
–That's what I mean,  
if it doesn't matter to you,  
then why make a fuss over that one letter–?

I'll have to agree with Touko on this one.  
He's making it more complicated than it actually is–

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
–And 13, don't you worry about my rank.  
Titles mean nothing to me.  
Only talent will earn you respect around here,  
like aniki over there.

He points at Valkyrie-02.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Look at you, trying to sound cool~.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
That brat is playing you, Shirogane.  
He was singing a very different tune earlier.  
Isn't that right, street rat?  
You were calling for the death penalty for Shirogane's 'insubordination'!

Street rat? Death penalty? Insubordination?  
There's a lot being thrown out here...

 **(Takeru)**  
R–really?

 **(Haruka)**  
Mitsuki, there's no need for insults–

Ryuu responds by cackling out loud, even slapping his knees two or three times.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Let's not get too hasty, anego.  
I said that before getting the measure of the guy.  
He acted like Takayuki would back in the simulation,  
so I had to stop that from happening if it turned out to be the case,  
or else he'd end up killing himself anyway.  
Even worse—he might get all of us killed.

Who in the world—is Takayuki?

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** As truth may have it, he looks calm and collected.  
I don't see the arrogant, stubborn, hot-blooded hero wannabe I thought was in 13's TSF.

 **(Kukiko)**  
He's telling you that you passed, Takeru-kun.

First Lt. Hayase?

Why is she trembling all over?  
Her fist is clenched and shaking, and she's gnashing her teeth.

If it wasn't for Haruka placing a hand over her shoulder, I think she would've lunged at Ryuu.

Mitsuki hates him, that much is clear,  
but he doesn't seem to bear any animosity towards her.

There's another conversation going on underneath all this,  
and it's one that I'm not a part of...

 **(Michiru)**  
You've stretched out your turn, First Lieutenant.  
That was a lot more introduction than what was required of you.

...

The siblings are both First Lieutenants.  
How does that work? What are the platoon assignments like?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Ah,_ my apologies, Taijou.  
We got carried away.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _We?  
_ I hope you're not planning to bring me down with you.  
You're on your own, Ryuu.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** _*laughs*_  
So you noticed, Nee-chan.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Whatever—that's enough out of you.  
We aren't the main event anyway.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Main event? What're you on about?

While Ryuu pouts, Cookie aims an accusing finger at me once again.

 **(Kukiko)**  
He's been eyeballing aniki this entire time.  
I think he has a thing for you, aniki.

What the–?  
Why's she nudging Valkyrie-02 with her elbow?

 **(Misae)**  
 _Ohhh_ —I didn't know that you swing that way, Shirogane.  
If only you had told me sooner, I wouldn't have given Touko much to hope for.

Please don't blush like that, Touko!

 _Gah!_ Things are getting way out of hand!

 **(Takeru)  
** I... I didn't mean to be rude, Sir,

I ask the pardon of the simulation's flight leader.

But it is Cookie who again speaks in his stead.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Whoa_! You can say other words too!  
I was getting worried because all you did was parrot what everyone's been saying!

 **(Takeru)  
** Parrot–?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Exactly.

 **(Akane)**  
Cut him some slack, First Lt. Fukui.  
He's probably just nervous to be meeting so many new people at once.

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Akane, not to be rude,  
but do not fight a man's battles for him.  
Allow him to speak for himself.

This is only the second time he's spoken thus far.

Without abandoning his upright posture, he comes into view to face Akane,  
to... smile at her?

 **(Akane)  
** O-o-of course, Sir!

At that moment, I caught a clearer glimpse of his face.

It hit me like a train, realizing that I know this man...

That the man known as Valkyrie-02,  
is an acquaintance from my home world,  
and in this world, a martyr, who paved the way during Susanoo's entrance into the Original Hive.

 **(Haruka)**  
What're you laughing for, Shirogane?

Because I've taken too many things in my life for granted, including the people around me.  
And my apathetic attitude has come back to bite me when I least expected it to.

That is why it took me a long time to recognize him.

That is why I think myself foolish.

That is why I am laughing at myself, First Lt. Suzumiya.

 **(Valkyrie-02)**  
Charmed to meet you, Shirogane.  
My name...  
is Ichimonji–

 **(Takeru)**  
Takahashi.

* * *

 _Author's Note:_

 _Without giving away too much—in the canon, there are three unnamed members in A-01 before 207-A even joined the company, all removed at the Niigata invasion._

 _Two were killed, one hospitalized._

 **Translations (Japanese to English):  
Nandate – **what? ( _surprise_ )  
 **Aniki –** bro ( _slang_ )  
 **Anego –** big sis ( _slang_ )  
 **Nee-chan –** dear sister  
 **Taijou –** Captain


	12. Before I Become an Eishi

**Chapter 12 – Before I Become an Eishi**

* * *

 **Michiru**

* * *

I wish I could say that we all stared at him in wonderment.  
I wish I could say that we all fostered suspicion at how Shirogane has knowledge of Takahashi-san's first name.

I wish I had the chance to get a word in throughout this over-extended discussion.

I could wish for a lot of things in my current situation,  
but none of those wishes can come true,  
not as long as the conversation keeps flowing without pause.

No one else seems to have noticed, and even if they have,  
they are none too eager to bring up the abnormality in what Shirogane just did.

 _Ah_ —I spoke too soon,  
there is one–

Haruka.  
She slowly approaches to speak to me in hushed voices.

 **(Haruka)**  
Wasn't that odd, or did I simply mishear Shirogane?

 **(Michiru)**  
No—your ears are working fine.  
I heard him say it too, and I'm as perplexed as you.

 **(Haruka)**  
It looks like we're the minority in that aspect.  
Perchance, did you mention it to Shirogane beforehand?

 **(Michiru)**  
Absolutely impossible.  
Why would I wander the base dropping A-01's names to stray cadets I run into?  
How careless do you think I am–?

 **(Haruka)**  
No need to get defensive,  
I'm trying to come up with a valid explanation, that's all.  
And besides—you did issue a brash challenge to a 'stray cadet',  
so pardon me for thinking it isn't too far of a stretch~.

I don't even have the energy left to humour her sarcasm.

I... I'm not getting defensive...  
That challenge was well-intentioned, if things went according to plan,  
Which—it didn't...

But how was I supposed to expect that Shirogane is... an Eishi?  
And an incredible one, at that.

No amount of research could have prepared me for the fact.

I wanted to teach him a lesson in humility,  
and instead, it is I who has been humbled.

Never mind how—it's a bit late to ask him where his piloting skills come from.  
This must be one of his 'secrets' he mentioned in our first encounter.

I do have one lead, though,  
and that is the XO...

 **(Michiru)**  
At any rate, I believe Shirogane has some explaining to do.

 **(Haruka)**  
I concur, but now may not be the best time to bring it up.  
It'd be a shame to disturb them while they're getting to know each other.

If I don't do so now, will I ever get another chance?

I return my attention to my headache of a squadron...  
And the even larger headache by the name of Shirogane Takeru...

The conversation has drifted a great a deal away from the introductions,  
and they're now treating Shirogane like one of our own.

Here I was,  
worried that they'd spill classified information regarding our role in the Alternative plans,  
when I should've been worried about them indoctrinating the promising Shirogane with their quirks and antics.

...

I shall let it pass, for now.  
Maybe later I'll ask Shirogane about it, and hopefully be given a worthwhile answer.  
As for Takahashi-san—it would seem that he has a stalker.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
There's no way Shirogane is going to listen to you,  
especially if you don't respect him enough to call him by his real name.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
What's wrong with the way I call him?

 **(Takahara)**  
 _Uhmm_ —13 is just a number~,  
that's not his name, First Lieuuutenant~.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
But that's his callsign–!

 **(Asakura)**  
I'd feel less human too if you kept calling me '09',  
Ryuu-kun.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Et tu_ , Asakura-chan?  
Hey anego, if you'd be so kind,  
please stop turning the newbies against me.

 **(Akane)**  
Stop calling us newbies–!

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Ahaha~_.  
What did anego do to you?  
You're digging your own grave, Ryuu!

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Eh_ –? Nee-chan?  
 _*sigh*_  
Are you listening to all this, 13?  
This is what I have to put up with on a day to day basis.

Poor Shirogane looks lost,  
he has yet to make a remark–  
but it's no surprise that he remains quiet in all this.

As an outsider, it must seem rather peculiar to him,  
the way my squad interacts with one another.

The people in this room are the best of the best—handpicked by the XO herself.

Like the XO, each and every one of them is a genius at what they do,  
and geniuses tend to have their individual idiosyncrasies.

The real oddity would've been if they weren't weird at all.

Even more extraordinary is the miracle that I have them under wraps and control,  
(at least—I think I do).

I can't take all the credit, though.

If it wasn't for Takahashi-san, I don't think A-01's 9th Squadron would ever be at the level it is today–

 **(Haruko)**  
 _*laughs*  
_ Come on, Shirogane,  
say something.  
Are you just going to stand there and listen to First Lt. Munakata talk you down?

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I did not 'give First Lt. Hayase a pounding', Ma'am.

 **(207-A)  
** _*giggles*_

 **(Mitsuki)**  
W–w–w–watch what you're saying, Shirogane!  
And Misae! What do you think you're doing?!  
Stop joking around!

 **(Touko)**  
 _*chuckles*_  
Misae's having a field day picking on Shirogane.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _*laughs*_  
Takeru-kun is way too easy!

I have to admit,  
that everyone's carefree, devil-may-care attitude is a necessity for this company.

We never know when Alternative's next mission will be,  
nor whether we'd come back alive from it or not.

'Matter of fact,  
the last large-scale objective two years ago cost us the near entirety of the STF A-01 Wing.

That operation dwindled our Regiment to a Battalion,  
and since then, the following missions have further reduced our Battalion to a Squadron.

It's a horrid fact that our numbers are only headed in the downward direction.  
Even Jinguuji-sensei can't produce enough recruits from 207 at a fast enough schedule...

We desperately need every Eishi we can get...

...

Different people have different ways to cope with such mounting pressure,  
especially when our lives are the ante.

I guess I got lucky with the roll of the dice for landing myself as Captain of a fearless bunch.

But things aren't quite as ideal as I would like it to be.

For one—the discord between Mitsuki and the Fukuis (and even Takahashi-san) has been, and perhaps will always be, a rudimentary nature within this company.

If it wasn't for her admiration towards Takahashi-san's mastery as an Eishi,  
I'm certain she'd be treating him with the same cold shoulder as she does Ryuu and Kuki.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Takahashi-san,  
please tell Ryuu to keep his wisecracks to himself.

That's not exactly accurate, either;  
I have to amend that statement.

The conflict is not as mutual as Mitsuki makes it appear.

Were it up to me, I'd settle the whole affair once and for all.

However—I must respect their wishes...  
It is not my place to meddle in their pursuit of redemption...

I do hope that, like Haruka,  
Mitsuki will one day find it in her heart  
to let go of this crucible that's been weighing her down all these years...

 **(Haruka)  
** Takahashi-san has yet to contribute to the conversation.

 **(Michiru)**  
It's funny that you mention that.  
Observe—he appears to be deep in thought.  
He may have chosen to just examine Shirogane for now.  
Besides, you can't criticize him for adhering to our credo.

Takahashi-san is far from what others may describe as a tacit character;  
he can be the most talkative among us at times, in actuality.

But Takahashi-san is notorious for his austere sense of duty.

I believe it safe to say that his current silence is an effort to protect the confidentiality of our unit's existence by not engaging in small talk.

He has fulfilled his role upon introducing himself, after all,  
so there is no more information that need be shared to an outsider of A-01.

That is my best assumption of Takahashi-san's train of thinking.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** _Whatever_.  
If I really wanted to,  
I'd tear that apart right in front of everybody.

Ryuu suddenly laughs in earnest,  
disturbing me from my reflections.

At the same time, he lifts a protective hand to shield the cloth around his neck  
in the event that Mitsuki follows through with her threat.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I would _love_ to see you try.  
You touch this, you die;  
'simple as that.  
 _Eh_ –? Nee-chan! Let go of it!

The other Fukui is playfully yanking on the other end of his scarf.

 _Uhh_ —maybe too playfully?  
I think Ryuu is near choking.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _*laughs*_  
You see that, Takeru-kun?  
Lil' Ryuu likes to talk the talk,  
yet he won't walk the walk!  
He won't even hurt a mosquito if it bit him!  
 _*laughs*  
Hmm_—what if it was a snake, I wonder if he'd still–

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Nee-chan!  
 _*gasp*_  
You're embarrassing me...  
 _*gasp*_  
in front of the outsider!  
 _*gasp*_  
And let go!  
 _*gasp*_  
I can't breathe!

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Hmpph_ —pitiful...

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Eh_ –?

 **(Takahashi)  
** —?

 _Hmmm_ —That's... interesting...

I only blinked, and the next thing I knew,  
Shirogane appeared right next to Kuki.

He has one hand on top of hers,  
and the other hand on the cloth she's pulling.

Gently, Kuki frees her grip,  
giving Ryuu the chance to regain his breathing.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I... I didn't need your help, 13.  
Nee-chan was obviously playing.  
And didn't I just tell you not to lay a hand on my scarf?!

Interesting indeed, Shirogane.

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I... must take my leave...  
Please excuse me.  
It was an honour to meet you all...

Kuki laughs menacingly in response and grabs him by the hand,  
preventing him from escaping.

But of course—no one can do what Shirogane just did to her and leave unscathed–

 **(Kukiko)  
** You're a fascinating one, Takeru-kun~.

–Unless she has taken a liking to them, I suppose,  
and I guess Shirogane should consider himself lucky that she does.

As Ryuu warned him earlier, she can be very—ruthless...  
In here, and out on the battlefield.

 **(Kukiko) _  
_**Next time you say you 'feel honoured',  
say it without sounding so blue.  
Hey, senpai–!

 _Ah,_ my junior is calling for me.

 **(Michiru)  
** What is it, Kuki?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Sooo~, when are you inaugurating Takeru-kun?  
Tomorrow would be a good day for a ceremony,  
our schedule looks empty in the morning.

Kuki! Wha–! _Khh!_

 **(Michiru)**  
Shirogane, we're leaving!  
Please—follow me.

I rush to his side and separate his wrist from Kuki's before we make our exit.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Wait–! Answer Kukiko's question–!

No no no! This can't be happening right now!

 **(Michiru)**  
Shirogane, pronto!

I can't believe they just said that out loud!

This is what I deserve for letting it drag on longer than it needed to.  
We best get out of here before everyone gets the wrong idea!

 **(Takahara)  
** Bye bye, Shiroganeee~!  
See you soon~!

 **(Asakura)**  
Send my regards to Miki and Mikoto!

 **(Akane)**  
I'll see Chizuru around so I don't need any favours–

 **(Touko)**  
Misae says, 'Take care!'

 **(Misae)  
** _Ah_ —Toukooo, you betrayed me.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Mi-chi-ruuu! This isn't over!

 _*sigh*_

I expected something so forward like that out of Mitsuki, but Kuki too?

I can't believe I let my guard down for a moment;  
that's all it took for things to go sideways.

...

...

...

As instructed, Shirogane is following me at my side.

 **(Michiru)**  
You never told me you were quite the gifted Eishi.

 **(Takeru)**  
You never asked.

 _Tshh_ –

That's the last time I ever provoke the cadets around here.  
Who knows how many more hidden talents are living among us?

Haruka was right. This was too brash of me—issuing a challenge to Shirogane.  
I could've compromised the entire Alternative operation.

I let myself get too eager by our conversation the other day.  
However—can I consider that a lapse in my judgment?

Shirogane's presence is too comforting,  
for reasons I honestly cannot explain.

I feel like I can tell him—anything...

...

What am I saying?  
No—this whole ordeal was reckless, reckless of you, Michiru!

 **(Takeru)**  
Capt. Isumi–

 **(Michiru)**  
–formalities, Shirogane!

 _Nghh_! I'm beginning to sound like the XO when I get mad–

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I'm really sorry for all the commotion I caused back there...  
Isumi... san...

 _Tsk_.

 _Breathe in..._

 _Breathe out..._

I can't believe I let it out on him.  
None of this... was his fault.

This is not my proudest moment...

 **(Michiru)**  
Don't—it is I who owes you an apology–

 **(Takeru)  
** No—you don't owe me one either.  
Believe me when I say I've seen weirder groups of people.

A weirder group?  
That's... impossible... isn't it?

 **(Michiru)  
** Really? Even more so than my unit?

He scratches his chin.

I'm glad it's back... the relaxed atmosphere between us...

 **(Takeru)  
** _Uhhh—_ it's not a competition, but,  
they might be on equal grounds.

That's... a relief...  
Even if I find it hard to believe that another group of mischiefs exists.

 **(Takeru)  
** They had a leader to keep everyone in check, though,  
so it never got out of hand.

 **(Michiru)  
** Is that so?  
Sounds like a very capable person.

 **(Takeru)  
** Yeah, she really was—

He keeps doing this.

By 'this', I am alluding to Shirogane's habit of trailing off at the end of his sentences.  
Is there something bothering him?

 **(Michiru)  
** Shirogane, is there anything you'd like to talk about?  
If... if you ever need someone to talk to,  
you can always count on me, you know.

'Tis futile—I am fully aware.

It is, however, dreadfully apparent that something is troubling Shirogane's thoughts,  
and as a Captain of this base,  
it is my responsibility to attend to the mental health of my fellow soldiers.

Still, I don't expect him to readily share what's on his mind to a stranger of a couple days.  
That's all I really am to him, no matter how familiar he feels to me.

And he may have met my squad, but for all he knows,  
we're just another group out of the many in Yokohama Base.

It's too late to take it back;  
the question is already out in the open–

 **(Takeru)**  
Since you offered,  
I do want to ask you something.

Oh? I spoke too soon once again.

Maybe he does have the need to confide in me after all.  
I mean—it's only human to not want to feel alone–

 **(Takeru)  
** If it isn't classified information,  
who exactly are Cookie and Ryuu?

Oh—that's not what I had in mind...  
I guess this is what he wants to talk about...

It's curious that he mentions her.

I would've initially thought that he'd show interest in some of the other ladies,  
like Mitsuki or Haruka or Touko, if he's into older women.  
(Sorry to break it to you, Shirogane—but Misae has already reserved herself).

Even the girls from 207-A would be ideal for his age.

But—Kuki?

I guess she did show a lot of interest in him earlier.  
Maybe Shirogane's into younger women?

Actually—how old is he?

 **(Michiru)**  
How old are you, Shirogane?

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh?_ I'm 18, but,  
why do you ask?

 **(Michiru)**  
Just wondering.

Yeah. He really is into younger women.

Who would've thought?

Looks like I never stood a chance at the outset.  
N–n–not that I'm disappointed, of course!  
My heart already belongs to Masaki-kun...

...

He'll be fine, Michiru!  
Marika and Arika, my dear sisters, will take care of him.  
But—I can't waver solely because they have the advantage!

Anyway.

Shirogane needs my help, and help him I will–

 **(Michiru)**  
What do you want to know about Kuki?  
 _Uhmm_ —her favourite colour is white, she loves dancing,  
she likes sweets, especially cookies.  
She's very frank, so don't even think about lying to her,  
but, she's not into shy guys,  
so maybe you'll have to work on your confidence–

 **(Takeru)**  
Captain–!

 **(Michiru)**  
 _Huh_? Are you alright, Shirogane?  
Why do you look surprised?

 **(Takeru)**  
That's—that's not what I'm asking for!

 **(Michiru)**  
What do you mean? You asked me about–

Wha–?

What was I thinking?  
He wanted to know about Kuki _and Ryuu_.  
How did I miss that last part?

Oh no! I'm so sorry, Shirogane!

 **(Michiru)**  
I'm terribly, terribly sorry!  
I was just checking if you were paying attention.  
Yes—that's all!

He doesn't believe me...

 **(Michiru)**  
 _*cough*cough*cough*_

That should divert his attention.

 **(Michiru)  
** So—the twins, you ask?

 **(Takeru)**  
The... twins?  
Wait—they're... twins?

 _Phew_. That saved me.

But, hold on—that's an unusual response, Shirogane.

 **(Michiru)**  
Obviously. Did you not get a good look at them?

Don't tell me—he didn't notice this the entire time we were in the room?

Was he not paying attention?  
Or—perhaps I should explain myself better.

 **(Michiru)**  
Although, they're not twins in the sense that they're identical.  
Kuki and Ryuu are fraternal twins—they still share similar looks,  
even if they're brother and sister.

Maybe he's never seen fraternal twins before?  
That could be it.

As for me—I've been in this line of duty for over five years now,  
and I've fought alongside all sorts of people,  
so something like this doesn't faze me like it used to.

In this sense, it'd be unfair to compare myself to Shirogane,  
who's only been doing this for less than a week.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Meiya... Yuuhi—identical,  
Ryuu... Cookie—fraternal?_

Is he saying something?  
I think I saw his lips moving—he must've been muttering to himself.

 **(Michiru)**  
Speak louder, Shirogane,  
I can't hear you when you whisper like that.

 **(Takeru)**  
Oh, _uhmm_...  
So—how long have they been with your squad?

 **(Michiru)**  
In the 9th Squadron?  
It's been over a year now, as Ryuu mentioned,  
though we've been in the same Wing since 1997.  
They were moved to my unit early last year, along with Takahashi-san.  
That's all I can tell you without disclosing confidential intel.

 **(Takeru)**  
So is that why Cookie called you senpai?

 **(Michiru)**  
Yes—I graduated a year before them.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Ah—_ I see.

We're almost at our destination;  
it wouldn't hurt to use the remaining time to share with Shirogane anything _non_ -confidential.

 **(Michiru)**  
Takahashi-san trained them himself, by the way...  
He was quite popular among the A-01 Regiment—when we were still whole;  
I suppose it was due to his stellar reputation.  
Were you watching him during your hive infiltration?  
He can execute the most impossible maneuvers  
and turn the sharpest angles in a TSF,  
not to mention his penchant for eradicating any multitude of BETA.  
So you see—Ryuu and Kuki aren't too shabby themselves,  
having been instructed by the best of the best.

 **(Takeru)**  
R–really? Ryuu said something about Takahashi back in the simulation,  
but—is he really that good?

 **(Michiru)**  
 _*chuckles*_  
He _was_.  
I think you stole that title away from him after today's performance.  
But even before you showed up, Mitsuki has never defeated him in a one-on-one mock duel.  
Oh—do you want to know something interesting?

It's kind of pointless right now,  
but Shirogane might find some amusement in this information.

 **(Takeru)**  
Yeah—what is it?

 **(Michiru)**  
At first, I assigned _him_ to be your opponent in this evening's simulation.  
But then, I thought it'd be too excessive to pit a rookie up against an A-01 veteran,  
so you ended up against Mitsuki instead.

Shirogane laughs nervously with his reply,

 **(Takeru)**  
I bet First Lt. Hayase wouldn't let Takahashi 'have all the fun'.

He uses his fingers to make quotation marks in the air.

 **(Michiru)**  
You... you guessed right.  
That's _exactly_ what she said.  
You seem to know Mitsuki quite well–

 _Nghh_ —don't interrupt my point, Shirogane!

 **(Takeru)  
** –I should be thanking her then, for taking his place.  
Takahashi would've probably given me a harder time—if he didn't already defeat me.

Is that modesty I'm hearing?

 **(Michiru)**  
There's still time to find out who's the better of you two–

 **(Takeru)**  
No! Enough with the mock battles and hive infiltrations–!

 _Ahhh_. He evaded the challenge before I could lay it out.

Now I'm curious.  
Curious to find out who the better Eishi is between them, but...

Should Takahashi win, we'd only be enforcing what we already know.  
If Shirogane wins—well... how much more humiliation can I endure?

In either scenario, Shirogane doesn't lose anything,  
neither the battle, nor his pride.

Smart move sidestepping this, Shirogane,  
I can't believe you thought this out so thoroughly.  
Your strategies are... unnerving...

Or maybe _I_ am overthinking it?

Maybe Shirogane is, simply put, intimidated by Takahashi-san?

Highly unlikely, buuut...

I prefer this rationale,  
so this is the direction I choose to approach.

Yes—Shirogane is afraid of Takahashi-san.

 **(Michiru)  
** _*chuckles*  
_ Takahashi-san has that impression on people.  
I would expect nothing less from an ex-Colonel of the Imperial Guard's 19th Brigade,  
they even gave him the nickname 'The–

Shirogane's eyes light up as I say that,  
I didn't even get to finish my statement.

 **(Takeru)  
** —?  
Takahashi used to be an Imperial Guard?

 _Hmm_. That's odd.

I considered this to be the other option of how he knew of Takahashi-san's identity;  
it'd be less suspicious if Shirogane recognized him as the virtuoso Colonel of the Imperial Royal Guard,  
but even that doesn't appear to be the case...

Where exactly does Shirogane know him from?

I squint my eyes at him suspiciously...

 _Ngggh_ —not again!  
I can't allow myself to get distracted–

 **(Michiru)  
** Indeed—he was in charge of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Guard Wings  
during the defense of Kyoto in 1998.

 **(Takeru)**  
Is... is that where he met Ryuu and Cookie?

 **(Michiru)**  
No—he met them long before then–

'– _when the XO took over Alternative IV  
and began searching for 00 Unit candidates in 1995,'_

I nearly say out loud,  
but the responsible side of me stops myself just in time.

 **(Takeru)**  
Then that would mean–  
How old are Ryuu and Cookie exactly?

He's putting two and two together.

 **(Michiru)**  
They're both 17,  
but don't let their age mislead you.  
Mitsuki and Haruka are their juniors,  
and Misae is two years behind them,  
even though they're all older than the twins.

I smile with pride at our youngest recruits–  
or is it dismay, for how they've been in this war the longest out of us all?

 **(Takeru)**  
No way!  
Wouldn't that mean that they've been fighting since they were,  
what—13?

That's an innocent way of looking at it.

 **(Michiru)**  
 _*chuckles*_  
Oh Shirogane,

I say endearingly,

 **(Michiru)  
–**they've been in this war their entire lives.  
I cannot say any more.  
Not because it is confidential,  
but because it is personal.  
Ask them yourself if you ever run into them again.

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I don't think I'll ever get the chance.  
Thanks, anyway, Isumi-san.

What kind of forlorn comment is that?

 _'Are you saying that they won't live long enough for you to ask them?  
Or do you plan to die sooner than they?'_

I can't ask him something so outrageous...

I might simply be misinterpreting the moment.

 **(Michiru)**  
You seem to have taken quite the keen interest in them.

I wonder why he's been asking about the Fukuis this whole time, then.  
Even about Takahashi-san—though not to the same extent.

I mean—there are ten others of us in the company, too,  
so why inquire about only the trio?

 **(Takeru)  
** I'm making conversation—that's all.  
By the way, Isumi-san,  
we've arrived at sensei's office.

I know.

I was intentionally slowing down to wait for Shirogane's explanation.  
Looks like it wasn't slow enough.  
You dodged a bullet, Shirogane...

 _Eh?_ Wait a minute–

 _Sensei_?

Did he call the XO— _sensei_?

 **(Takeru)**  
Isumi-san, you asked me to follow you,  
but why exactly are we here?

These secrets of Shirogane's...  
Does it have anything to do with being the Professor's student?

 **(Takeru)**  
Isumi...san—why are you staring at me?  
Did I say something wrong?

Shrug it off, for now, Michiru.

Hopefully the answers will come in due course.

The least I want to do right now is make Shirogane feel uncomfortable;  
that will make it more difficult, in a short while, for when I have to ask him a favour...

 **(Michiru)**  
Wait out here.  
I have to consult the XO for a brief moment.

 **(Takeru)**  
Is my presence necessary?  
I still have to change out of my armoured suit–

Oh—I forgot about that.

With all the hurry, he has yet to get into more comfortable clothing.

Howbeit—this is very important.

 **(Michiru)**  
We'll only take a few minutes—I promise.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'll be on standby then, Captain.

I hold up my ID to the scanner so that the steel doors slide open for me to enter the XO's study.

As per usual, it's an unsightly mess in here.

My fingers twitch as they subconsciously reach for something—anything—to pick up and clean.  
I know that no good will come out of doing that, though,  
because it'll be back to the usual disarray by the following morning.

I say this with confidence—based on my personal experience.

 **(Yuuko)**  
W–? Who's there?

The XO slams her desk as I set foot inside,  
with the door closing behind me.

Her hair is in shambles, her eyes bloodshot red.

Did she only just wake up?  
No—I refuse to make that assumption.

 **(Michiru)**  
Excuse me, Professor.  
Is now a bad time?

She rubs her eyes and combs her hair with her fingers as she replies,

 **(Yuuko)  
** I was in the middle of something very _*yawn*_ important,  
but I guess I can entertain you if you make it quick.

 _Hmm_ —I wonder what that 'very important' something I interrupted is.

Before I begin, I patiently wait for her to finish moving about.  
It's quite distracting, how she's patting down her lab coat.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Will you just be staring at me all night?  
Time's ticking, and I have to get back to my— _important_ job...

As you wish, I shall get right to the point.

 **(Michiru)**  
What did you do to Shirogane's simulator?

 **(Yuuko)**  
Whatever do you mean~?

She asks, obviously feigning ignorance.

 **(Michiru)**  
I mean that extra hour you took beforehand.  
You said that Shirogane needed to warm up before his mock battle against Mitsuki,  
but I have a hunch that you intervened in this somehow–

 **(Yuuko)**  
I installed in it a prototype OS that he designed.

A new OS?

Well now—it didn't take long for her to spill the beans.

Either I'm the best interrogator in the world,  
or the Professor is not to be trusted for withholding important information.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I'll be presenting it to A-01 tomorrow,  
so there's no point in keeping it a surprise now.  
 _Hmm_ —I believe it's 'tomorrow' already?  
We'll do it this afternoon, then.  
Is that all you want to know?

With that, I lost my newly-acquired talent for interrogating...

 **(Yuuko)**  
Hold on, hold on.  
It sounded like I was undermining Shirogane.  
Let me correct that.  
The prototype is still in its infancy, so he still had to do over 90% of the piloting.  
Still, even without the new OS, Mitsuki wouldn't have stood a chance.

She wouldn't?  
How can she tell?

 **(Yuuko)**  
In fact—the only thing I've been able to do so far  
is improve the delay between command inputs  
as well as partially-employ what he called 'combos' and 'move-cancels'.  
They're still perfecting its parallel processing capabilities as we speak.  
For it to be truly effective, he'd need the piloting information from other Eishis,  
but since we don't have that information to pull from,  
Shirogane has to populate the baseline data from the ground up.  
Percentage-wise, the OS is only 10% towards completion–  
hence why I say that what you saw in the simulations was Shirogane—purely and solely.  
That was _all_ him.  
But—I haven't told him this. And he doesn't need to know.

I... see...

It was more of a handicap for Shirogane—being unable to utilize the OS to its full potential.

Similar to a game of shogi, no matter how much of a handicap is placed on one of the contestants,  
the advantage has little effect on the outcome in the hands of a truly skilled player.

It doesn't alter the fact that she deceived him, however.

 **(Michiru)**  
You... lied to him?

She flaps her hand lazily in the air.

 **(Yuuko)  
** What do you expect? He gave us less than a day to work on it.  
I'm not some witch who can just do it with a wave of a wand!  
It's a grand design, and 10% progress is more monumental than it sounds.  
Besides—it's a harmless lie.  
Now we all know that Shirogane is the real deal, right?  
And I rather enjoy that he thinks his victory is thanks to me,  
so definitely don't tell him.  
 _*laughs*_

Typical _._

Why am I not surprised?  
That is something she'd really do...

Sometimes—the XO's way of thinking frightens me,  
but it is exactly that way of thinking that has gotten Alternative this far to begin with.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Once we roll it out to everybody this afternoon  
and get everyone's piloting data into the system,  
the prototype should come along fairly quickly soon after.  
As for implementing the actual OS software into the TSFs  
and updating the proprietary components,  
that might take another week or two.

That's great news;  
it's too bad I can't appreciate it fully,  
because all I can think of—is the purpose of this visit.

Thus, I press onward.

 **(Michiru)**  
You believe in Shirogane's ability as an Eishi, then?

 **(Yuuko)**  
After watching him blow past the two simulations?  
Of course I do—who wouldn't?

I had a strong certainty she would say that,  
but it's important that I hear it for myself.

Because what I am about to ask her next  
is possibly the most important question of the new millennium,  
the question that will decide the future of A-01,  
of the Professor's Alternative plans,  
and ultimately—of mankind.

Oh Mitsuki... and Kuki...  
 _Why did you have to plant the idea in my head?_

I know that I'm going to deeply regret what I'm about to appeal to the Professor.

I stand in proper attention as I say to her,

 **(Michiru)**  
Professor—I would like to formally request the addition of Shirogane to Squadron A-01, Ma'am!

Did I look like Mitsuki just now?

Yup—I'm regretting it already...

The Professor doesn't reply at first.  
No—but her eyes widen and the rest of her body freezes in kind.

When she finally opens her mouth,  
words are not what come out of it.

She laughs.

Hysterically.

Maniacally.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Excuse me, excuse me.  
 _*laughs*_  
The question was just so sudden and unexpected of you.  
 _*laughs*_

I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking that.

I probably had this coming to me after treating Mitsuki the same way in the control center.

 **(Yuuko)**  
I'll tell you what—ask him yourself.  
If he says yes, I'll have no objection to his addition to A-01.  
If he says no—well, let's cross that bridge when we get there.

 _Yes_! What a relief!  
Once again, this is a lot easier than I thought!

What is up with the Professor?  
She's been much more obliging as of late.  
Can it be because of the appearance of Shirogane?

No time to think about that–

I tried my best to appear impartial in the midst of all this—however,  
the way the Professor is eyeing me,  
with that sharp look of hers,  
she most likely read my thoughts.

But, hold on a second–

What does she mean by ' _If he says no_ '?  
Why would Shirogane say no?

 **(Michiru)**  
As it so happens,  
Shirogane is standing-by outside.  
I shall take my leave and ask him–

 **(Yuuko)**  
You will do no such thing.  
Invite him in and ask him in here.  
I'm also curious to hear his response.

 **(Michiru)**  
Oh—alright then.

Walking towards the door, I prepare the question in my mind.

 _Nghh_!

Does it matter how I phrase it?  
Just ask him like you would if the XO wasn't watching!

Then—why am I nervous?

The door is sliding open.

Here goes...

As he comes into view,  
I notice him about to say something right away,  
so I beat him to the punch.

 **(Michiru)**  
Shirogane, please come in.

Like a good soldier,  
he stops whatever it is he was about to say and complies with my order.

He nods at the Professor upon entering the office,  
to which she returns with a gesture of her hand.

The Professor stays in her seat.

I retreat to her side behind her desk,  
while Shirogane stops in the front and center of it.

 **(Michiru)**  
Well then, I'll cut to the chase.  
Shirogane—would you like to join my squadron,  
the squadron you just met,  
STF A-01?

Without missing a beat, he replies,

 **(Takeru)**  
Is that an order, or a question, Ma'am?

Wha–?  
I didn't expect him to answer me with another question, to be honest.

 **(Michiru)**  
A question, of course,  
you still have a say in all this–

 **(Takeru)**  
Then I must respectfully decline the offer, Captain.

...

...

...

It's almost like he was prepared for this;  
all of his sentences are pronounced without delay.

What... do I say... to his response?

This is not... according to plan...

 **(Takeru)**  
If that is all,  
may I be excused?

I'm still trying to process what's going on.

What—just happened?

Thankfully, the XO's voice comes up for me.

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Shoo, shoo_!  
See yourself outside.

 **(Takeru)**  
Good night.

The door closes behind him,  
and I have yet to react to the situation.

In my daze, a cackle wakes me up.

I turn towards it.

 **(Yuuko)**  
That's that, I guess.

How can she act so laid back like she is now?  
She missed the opportunity to draft a superb Eishi into her special missions unit!

Unless—she didn't expect him to say yes in the first place?

 **(Michiru)**  
Did you know that he'd say no?

No wonder she mentioned that option out of the blue!

 **(Yuuko)**  
I 'had a hunch',  
but I didn't think he'd actually turn you down.

This is very suspicious...

If I didn't know any better,  
I wouldn't have considered that Shirogane and the Professor are both playing a sick joke on me...

I knew things were going too smoothly my way...  
That usually never happens with Prof. Kouzuki.

This is—quite the letdown.

I don't even feel like talking to the XO any more,  
lest she has other tricks she has yet to play on me.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Okaaay~, the show's over.  
Leave me alone so that I can continue my nap–  
 _Err_ , important job, rather!

You don't have to tell me twice.  
I'm leaving already.

I... I need to find a quiet place to sort through my thoughts...

Where did I go wrong?  
I thought I had everything under control...

Behind me, I can hear the Professor shuffling around the papers on her desk,  
probably for a makeshift pillow to lie her head on while she rests.

In front of me, the door slides open for the third time this evening.

...

 _Eh?_ Shirogane?

He remains out here,  
arms crossed,  
his back leaning on the wall beside the door to the adjacent room,  
still in his armoured suit.

I've already dismissed him,  
(I mean—the XO did, anyway),  
so what else does he want from me?

 **(Michiru)**  
I thought you would've left by now,

I say just as the door fully closes.

He stands up with impressive posture at the sound of my voice.

Was he... also taking a nap?

 **(Takeru)**  
Captain—I owe you an apology for what I said back there.

I answer with a feeble laugh.

 **(Michiru)**  
I am not your Captain.  
And don't dawdle on it,  
I was asking too much of you.

What was I thinking?

I can't just ask a cadet to simply give up his carefree, sheltered life,  
and go to the front lines, where the average lifespan of Eishis is eight minutes!  
Not to mention that A-01 has the highest mortality rates out of every group in this base!

I might as well have sentenced him to his death!

No—I don't have that kind of authority over a person's life.

 **(Michiru)**  
Stay here and continue your training, Shirogane.  
Enjoy your time while you still can.

He's still in Training Squad 207, which means that he'll eventually end up in A-01,  
but I don't blame him for wanting to delay his addition to my squadron just so he can survive longer...

 **(Michiru)**  
You can have a long life ahead of you  
as long as you keep making careful decisions, like you just did–

 **(Takeru)**  
I must interrupt you, Captain.  
Forget the apology then.  
An explanation is what I owe you.

My tongue comes to a halt,  
alarmed by his stern voice.

 **(Michiru)**  
Stop calling me your Captain–

 **(Takeru)**  
You misunderstand me,  
and for that—please hear me out.

What else is there to say?  
He refused me, and that's the end of it.

Nothing he adds will change that–

 **(Takeru)**  
If I join you here and now,  
you will have one additional pilot under your command–

 **(Michiru)**  
–and we need every competent Eishi we can get–

 **(Takeru)**  
–but if you give me one more month,  
I will come back with five more first-rate Eishis _  
_whose abilities you will never see the likes of,  
not if you lived a million lifetimes.

 **(Michiru)**  
. . .

I have forgotten so soon,  
after he told me this only yesterday,

 _'I have a personal duty to the people in my squad...'_

I can't help but shake my head at myself for my failure to see the bigger picture.

Shirogane—you never cease to amaze me...

I resume my departure, walking away from the XO's office,  
trying to maintain my cool,  
when the truth is, my cool has already been dashed;  
that—he wouldn't know, so long as he doesn't see my face.

Without looking back at him, I say into the bare hallway in front of me,

 **(Michiru)**  
Very well, soldier.  
You have three weeks to produce these first-rate Eishis.

 **(Takeru)**  
Three... weeks?

 _Psshh_.  
You've surprised me once, who's to say you can't surprise me again?

 **(Takeru)**  
R–roger that!  
And one last thing–

I stop in my tracks and peer over my shoulder to listen to his parting words.  
From my periphery, I can see him wearing that admirable salute he's shown me a few times now.

 **(Takeru)  
** You will forever be my Captain, Captain Isumi.  
If you are ever short on Eishi for a mission,  
 _you can always count on me_.

 _Hmph_ —how unoriginal...  
Didn't I say something very similar a while ago?

 **(Michiru)**  
Good night, Shirogane.

I whisper, a little... too tenderly...

* * *

 _Author's Note:_

(This afterword is a repeat of the note prior to Chapter 0, Prologue. Skip this if you've seen it.)

While I try my best to capture the Alternative universe in the eyes of different characters, I think it's important that I point out that, this being a POV format, there are three things to keep in mind.

Firstly – that these are chronicles of a person's thoughts. Unlike a real story, the narrator is simply 'thinking' as the events around them take place. As such, a lot of the sentences are fragmented, sometimes jumbled and incoherent, contrary to the formal literary style of a normal story. Line breaks and ellipsis are liberally used to denote pauses and pacing of the character's mindset. This format is on purpose. That said, don't read this like a story, but rather like a journal/diary. If you are coming from the Visual Novel (I hope you are, or else none of this would make sense!), this would be very similar in nature.

Secondly – because these entries are an observation of what the narrator sees, don't take the viewer's thoughts and opinions as ABSOLUTE fact. Because,

'Perception is reality'

Like in real life, the things I observe around me are my reality, just as your observations are your reality. In this story, whenever a character assumes something based on what they notice, take their assumption with a grain of salt.

For example, when Michiru tried to reason Takahashi's silence in the beginning of the chapter, she thought that Takahashi was being dutiful and protecting the confidentiality of A-01. But this isn't the case (to be revealed in the next chapter). However, Michiru makes this assumption because this is what she observes, and this is how she perceives the world in her eyes, and so this is her reality.

Finally – since there are different characters with different POVs, some observations of the world around them will not be exactly the same as another character's, as there will be chapters where two characters will have the same scene, but viewed from their POV.

As an example, someone who sees Takeru every day will not have the need to mention his brown hair, but someone who meets Takeru for the very first time will point it out in their mind as they instill his description into their memories. Even another example would be that character X sees the colour red, while character Y sees it as dark orange.

Also keep in mind that memories are not always accurate. Think of ML Extra, where Takeru just couldn't remember if it was Meiya or Sumika he kept playing with in the playground. So, a character going through the same scene from his/her POV may have a different recollection of the happenings in that scene. A small example would be character X says 'Hello' but character Y's POV remembers it as 'Hi'.

Yet another factor might be that their sense of time is different (time is relative, eg. time flies when you're having fun), so other events might be taking place while they're immersed in their thoughts.

Lastly, there are things only you, as the reader, will realize. For example, Takeru's growth wouldn't be something he would notice and point out himself, but as the reader, you would notice the difference in his thoughts and actions by comparing them to your existing knowledge.

I will try to keep each character's useless thoughts and reflections to a minimum, but one of the charms I miss from Muv-Luv is that the little things, usually taken for granted, are what deserve to be cherished the most.


	13. A Graveyard Sonata

**Chapter 13 – A Graveyard Sonata**

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

 _'Hurry up,'_

Waiting for the Captain to disappear from view is like waiting for Destroyer classes in the BETA vanguard to reach me: imminent—yet not fast enough.

I dropped my salute a while back,  
after realizing that she has no intention of facing me.

 _'Finally...'  
_ She's gone.

I've been itching to go through the door beside me the moment we arrived in the basement,  
so it's convenient that Michiru brought us down here.

My gut told me what to expect out of her talk with Yuuko-sensei.

On second thought—it was Cookie who gave it away,  
though hearing it from the Captain herself was still a surprise.

In my impatience, I even sent her the wrong message by refusing her invitation to join A-01 this early on,  
but I can't just abandon my dear friends,  
not while I have much to accomplish by transferring their causality information from past worlds.

As much as I would like to leave them out of this in the first place,  
there is no running from the roles they have to play.

I'm past that.

 _I'm past that._

Shirogane Takeru will run away no longer.

The Causality Conductor...  
 _I must find it_...  
 _I must... find it...  
I must..._

Shaking the thought out of my head,  
I barge through the sliding door to Sumika's room as soon as the gap allowed me.

This dark, chilling hallway isn't as threatening as it was the other day.  
It'd be nice if Yuuko-sensei would install more lights in here,  
and there's still no escaping the echoes still booming in my eardrums.

This time, however, I brave it through.

 _I'm not running._

...

The end of the hallway is nothing like what I picture from movies back at home.

In a lot of those movies,  
usually, there'd be a dazzling radiance at the end of hallways or tunnels,  
as if to symbolize that there lies a metaphorical light that awaits us at the end of our metaphorical darkness,  
giving us the hope to keep trudging forward.

But only more darkness is at the end of this already dark hallway.  
Darkness—in tandem with the bluish hue of Sumika's chambers.

 _Where is my light?  
Where is my end of the tunnel?_

All those movies were full of shi–

Kas...su...mi?

She's... back...  
Standing beside Sumika,  
like she was the very first day we met (in previous worlds, anyway).

I don't think she's noticed me quite yet.  
Which is weird,  
considering how thunderous my footsteps were.  
The intensity of their echoes probably exists only in my head.

I... I can't express how relieved I am...  
To finally see her out of the hospital...  
Healthy and well...

She looked awfully ill laying in that bed...

...

This will be the first time we'd officially be seeing each other in this loop.

How do I open up to her?

Do I start strong and skip the introductions?

She must know who I am at this point.  
I'm sure of it.  
She called my name when I visited her.  
But if I do so, she might be overwhelmed and faint all over again.

What if I play it cool and casual?

That's how I always did it in past worlds. **  
**The formula seemed to work every time—why shouldn't it work now?

That would be too slow, though.  
I need her help as soon as possible.  
I can't afford to spend time on building up our relationship from scratch.

Do I–

I don't know...

I'm losing my mind just thinking about it,  
I think I can hear Kasumi whispering in my ears.

 **(Takeru)**  
Kasumi? Are you talking to someone?

At long last—I decide to greet her with a joke.

I don't want to scare her off with my gloom,  
nor do I want to alarm her by acting too familiar right off the bat.

A joke—a joke should do the trick...  
But, what made me come up with that particular joke?

Kasumi turns around to confront me in full.

She's decorated in her Alternative IV uniform—  
the black dress, blue tie, and even the bunny ears gifted to her by Yuuko-sensei.

 **(Kasumi)**  
Bye... bye...

She says, in her remote, dainty voice.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh_? That's not how you welcome people, Kasumi.  
You say, ' _Hello_ ', or ' _Konbanwa_ ',  
depending on the time of the day.

I often forget how innocent Kasumi can be.  
I could tell her anything, and she'd take my word for granted.  
She's like... a toddler—how she believes anything I tell her.

How dangerous would it be if the wrong person took advantage of her purity?

 _Nah_. That's impossible.  
Unless I count Yuuko-sensei, that is.

 **(Kasumi)**  
 _Konbanwa_ ,  
Takeru...

 **(Takeru)**  
I see they let you out of the hospi–  
—?

 _Huh_?

I never realized Kasumi can run this fast;  
the gap between us—she closed it within the span of a breath.

Kasumi...  
She's...  
Hugging me...  
Tightly...

So tightly...

Her cheek, leaning on my chest, feels damp...  
Kasumi? Are you... crying?

 **(Kasumi)**  
I'm so sorry...  
I'm so sorry... Takeru...  
Sorry... sorry... sorry... sorry... sorry...

I... I'm not exactly sure what's going on... but...  
Reluctantly, I place my arms around her, and hug her back...  
It would feel wrong to not return her heartfelt affections...

...

This goes on for a while—  
Me, not saying a word,  
Kasumi, repeating the same ones over and over.

Her hair still smells like hospital air;  
I've never been fond of the scent of that sterilized aroma,  
but for Kasumi, I endure it.

She must've run here as soon as they discharged her.  
I know so, otherwise Yuuko-sensei would've notified me immediately.  
This also means that Yuuko-sensei doesn't know that she's out yet.

...

Occasionally, I lend a finger to help wipe away her tears.

I feel terrible for not carrying a handkerchief,  
like a proper gentleman would.

But I have no way to carry one;  
this armoured suit doesn't have any pockets, after all–

 _Ah—_ damn.  
I still haven't changed into my regular clothes.

 **(Kasumi)  
** I'm sorry, Takeru...  
So sorry... so... so sorry...

 **(Takeru)**  
I think you've apologized enough, Kasumi.  
You've done nothing wrong, so please stop,  
you're making me feel awkward now.

I honestly don't know why she keeps saying sorry.

If it's for getting me kicked out of her hospital floor this morning,  
that wasn't her fault at all.

So until she does something wrong, she has no reason to say sorry.

With my hands on her delicate shoulders,  
I lightly push her head off my chest.

Her tears have slowed down somewhat,  
but her eyes are now red from shedding a considerable amount.

 _Eh_ –? Kasumi?

She pushed her shoulders against my hands  
so that her face is leaning on my chest one more time.

 **(Kasumi)**  
I'm glad you came back,  
Takeru...  
I'm glad... that you're back...

 **(Takeru)**  
I...

I'm sorry, Kasumi.

I cannot say the same.

 **(Kasumi)**  
. . .

 **(Takeru)  
**. . .

Eventually, she lets go of me on her own.

Strange...  
I feel—regret... for not holding on to her longer...

 **(Kasumi)  
** Are you here for Sumika-san?

She says as she wipes away the last of her tears.

Kasumi... You're a lot more expressive than I remember...

 **(Takeru)**  
I came by to say good night.  
I wasn't expecting to see you in here too.  
I'm happy to see you, Kasumi.

 **(Kasumi)**  
. . .

 **(Takeru)**  
Oh—can you tell Sumika that I wish her a good night?  
I tried to tell her last time, but I'm not sure if she can hear me.

 **(Kasumi)**  
You won't be... staying?

 **(Takeru)**  
I—can't,  
even though I'd very much like to stay beside you and Sumika.

Prudence dictates that I don't tell Kasumi the truth,  
and the truth is—I can't stay in this room for too long.

The nightmares are strongest when I stay beside Sumika.

It's not the lack of sleep that mainly bothers me, either.  
No—it's the fact that I have to live through those nightmares again,  
thus, I have no desire to see them in my sleep in the same way.

Last night, I tried to draw out my stay here for as long as I could stand the nightmares,  
but shortly after Yuuko-sensei left,  
I didn't stay for a great deal longer.

After saying good night to Sumika,  
I decided to find out where Kasumi was staying in the infirmary.

...

Kasumi's beady eyes are fixed on mine.

Right—how foolish of me...  
Trying to withhold my thoughts from an esper...

 **(Kasumi)**  
Sumika-san... she can hear you... Takeru...  
But, I understand...  
I'll tell Sumika-san... that you said good night...

 **(Takeru)**  
Thank you, Kasumi.  
I still have to get changed.  
This armoured suit is too stiff to move around in,  
so, you can say 'Bye bye' now.

 **(Kasumi)**  
Bye... bye...

Her eyes drop to face the floor.

That—won't do...

 **(Takeru)**  
Kasumi, don't be sad, alright?  
I'm counting on you to wake me up in the morning.

God knows there's enough sadness in this room...  
Between myself, Sumika, and now Kasumi...

I can't be sad; it'll only make me doubt myself.  
I have to be firm in my resolve... for them,  
and for 207-B, for A-01, for–

Yes... Above all else, I have to be firm for _me_ ,  
for what I have to put everyone through,  
and for what I have to go through...

We'll get to the end...

I promise to see you all in a world we can call home...  
So please—forgive me... for choosing to save myself... in this world...

 _'Stay... strong... Shirogane...'_

 _Huh_? W–who said that?

 **(Kasumi)**  
Y... yes! I'll wake you up.

Was that Kasumi?

It can't be her. The voice didn't sound like... that of a girl's...  
Or is Kasumi projecting something into me?

 _'Kasumi? If you're in here, please stay out of my head.  
There's nothing in here but sickness.  
Please... I might hurt you again...'_

She only just recovered; I don't want to send her back to the hospital so soon after.

I have no control over what she sees in me,  
and if I'm having a difficult time standing up to it,  
I can only imagine the burden it imposes on Kasumi...

 **(Takeru)**  
Thank you, Kasumi.  
I'll look forward to your wake-up call.

I've been seeing and hearing too many things lately,  
it's becoming difficult to tell apart fact from imagination...  
Truth from fiction...

The best I can do right now is leave this haunted room  
to at least calm down my thoughts.

Good night, once again, dear Sumika.  
Good night, dear Kasumi.

 **(Kasumi)**  
Good night, Takeru...

* * *

 **Takahashi**

* * *

 **(Kukiko)**  
Aniki! Who do you think was better,  
Takeru, or you?

 _*throw*_

 **(Takahashi)**  
Hard to tell, to be honest.  
We played different roles.  
Apples to oranges.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Apples to whaaa–?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
What about Nee-chan versus 13,  
who do you think would win?

 _*throw*_

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _*chuckles*_  
Shirogane wins, no contest.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Heeeh?!_  
You didn't even pause to think about it!

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Good, I was about to say the same thing–

 **(Kukiko)**  
Hey now! Listen, if aniki says it, I can take it,  
but if you start saying it too–!

A stone comes flying in the direction of Ryuu, missing him by a wide margin.

It wasn't meant to hit him;  
it was merely to send Kuki's message.

Underneath the shy moonlit sky,  
the shadows of A-01's 7th Squadron dance outside the grounds of the Yokohama Base.

This is the only place that does not cause us discomfort,  
the only place where we can sleep undisturbed.

Kuki and Ryuu are tossing rocks down this hill to see who can throw it the farthest,  
a sport they never grow tired of.  
I myself am not joining them tonight,  
nor have I joined them for several nights past;  
I have no plans to,  
not until either of them beats my record distance,  
which should be soon enough.

Instead, I've taken a seat,  
leaning my back on one of the several trees here that refuse to bear flowers.

We are partly to blame for their impotence,  
and in fact, some of those in A-01 do just that.

It's hard to argue with the popular opinion,  
because even when your opinion is the factual one,  
the opinion of the majority can nullify it to oblivion.

There is a little bit of truth in their accusations, however...

Had my squadron accomplished our objective,  
there might still be seven Companies present in the STF A-01 Wing today.

But they don't know the entire story;  
such is the way the events took place.

The approval of the masses is not what concerns me,  
I only require the approval of one.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I'm done—you win.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _*sigh*_  
It's no fun when you give up that easily.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
It's been an exhausting evening, Nee-chan.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Only because you worried yourself sick back in the hive!  
 _Ahaha_ ~.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Nghhh_ —don't lie,  
you were worried too!

The two of them give up on their game,  
then they walk back up to where I am.

As Ryuu arrives at my side, I hold a palm up to my cheek and say to him in a whisper,

 **(Takahashi)**  
Don't tell this to anyone—not even your sister,  
but I was worried when Shirogane took off too.

I hope he doesn't kick himself more than he needs to for his earlier frenzy.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I don't believe you, aniki.  
You stayed abnormally composed for the rest of the operation.

 **(Takahashi)**  
If it seemed that way to you,  
then I must've been doing a great job at hiding it.  
The trick to telling a proper lie  
is convincing _yourself_ that you are telling the truth.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Aniki? Have you found your voice at last?

Kuki's question is genuinely surprising.

 **(Takahashi)**  
What are you talking about?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
She means that you were pretty pensive back there.  
Did 13 scare you when he mentioned your name?

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _Hah—_ was I that quiet?  
I didn't really notice.  
 _*chuckles*_

I'm not exactly certain of what happened in the simulator room.

Time was quite—distorted... from my point of view.

They say I stood there in silence the entire half-hour,  
when, to me, only a minute passed us by.

Shirogane Takeru.

As soon as I introduced myself,  
I felt like I took a stroll down memory lane.

Except—I cannot claim that the memories are my own.

I saw myself in a different time and place.

Meiya-sama was there,  
along with Tsukuyomi-san,  
as well as Kamiyo, Tomoe, and Ebisu.

But not Yuuhi-sama. I could _not_ see Yuuhi-sama.

And I was still a pilot—but not of a TSF, no.  
It was some sort of elongated machinery,  
low to the ground, yet speedy,  
armed with neither PB Blades nor Assault Cannons.

...

Actually—it may have not been armed at all.  
It's only defining attribute was... transport?

The whole terrain was extraordinarily... foreign... from the one I grew up in.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Hey anikiiiii~,  
you're doing it againnn~.

 _Ah_. What's more,  
is that Kuki and Ryuu—were nowhere to be found.

Those... apparitions...

Are all a farce.

Why in the world am I seeing scenes so laughably impossible?

...

...

...

They both chose to rest in each of my sides,  
Ryuu lying down on the earth to my right, using his scarf as pillow,  
and Kuki to my left, with her chin resting on her knees.

All of our eyes are to the sky and the dim landscape encompassing the bottom of this hill.

To anyone else—this might be a dullard view; to us—it is anything but.

This is our refuge,  
only a short distance from the hell on top of the hill.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Do you think Takeru will join us?

 **(Takahashi)**  
I don't see why not,  
but he'll have to graduate first.

As outstanding as he turned out to be,  
he still has to go through the same hoops as everyone else.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I hope he doesn't.  
Yeah yeah—he was good,  
but he's a lot more trouble than he's worth.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Don't say that!  
You've seen what he's like in person!  
He's calm and quiet and–

 **(Takahashi)**  
My, my.  
Has Cupid smitten our dear Kuki?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Nee-chan, please don't fawn over him in front of me.

 **(Kukiko)**  
You guys are the worst!

She says, but her red cheeks contradict her words.

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _*chuckles*_  
At any rate—even if we take into account what you said, Kuki,  
he was a completely different person inside his TSF.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
You mean wild and out-of-control?

 **(Takahashi)**  
I was pointing out his competence,  
which, by the way—is far superior to yours, Ryuu.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Whatever.  
 _'The TSF doesn't make the man,'_ aniki.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _'–rather, his character and spirit.'_

 _Khh_ –

I got played.  
They're using my own teachings against me.

I'm not sure if I should feel pride or remorse for how much they've grown.

It won't be too long before they start rebelling against me as well,  
even though it seems like, only yesterday, they were still the scared, lost orphans I picked up in the ruins of Naha.

Yuuko, not a day goes by where I don't feel grateful for your constant nagging...  
 _Err_ —political interference, I should say.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I don't care what you say about him. **  
** _I_ sure hope Takeru-kun joins us.  
I'd feel a lot safer with another aniki by my side.  
I'm sure he'll take a turn for the better if I can talk him out of his careless ways–

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Shhh_ –!

Ryuu lifts three fingers up in the air to hush us,  
then he flips over to lay on his front side and places an ear on the ground.

It is difficult to see around us when light is this scant,  
especially on this cloudy twilight,  
so the resourceful Ryuu uses his sense of hearing to detect the irregularities in the surroundings.

 **(Kukiko)**  
What is it, Ryuu?

Kuki whispers without moving a muscle.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Shhh_ –

In response, he directs his eyes upwards to the top of the hill  
in the direction of the base's front gates.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Someone's approaching.

With discipline, all three of us hold our breaths until the invader is revealed to us,  
so as to not give away our presence and location.

Suffice it to say that we have never had to deal with another trespasser before.

There isn't anyone in the base—apart from the 7th Squadron,  
who strays far beyond its proximities (especially in this time of night).

 **(Takahashi)**  
Can you tell who it is?

I stay still in my spot behind the bark of the tree,  
away from the line of sight of anyone making their way over here.

Kuki has since adopted the same position as Ryuu:  
on their stomachs, heads close to the ground,  
but with eyes facing forward to anticipate the unsolicited visitor.

Sure—the real threat would be the one coming from downhill.

If BETA were to attack, that's the direction they would come from.

But even more threatening than the BETA would be that a common soldier discovers us,  
or even worse,  
if Yuuko were to find us wandering outside the base again.

All cases are equally dangerous in our mind,  
thus—our cause for extreme precaution.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _*sigh*  
_ No need to worry.  
It's just 13.

Ryuu finally drops his shoulders to rest after staying in his uncomfortable position for so long.  
I take in a big gulp of air, too, after holding my breath for the same span of time.

But the third of us perks up and suddenly runs towards the trespasser,  
Shirogane—whose presence here makes absolutely no sense.

When Kuki finally rejoins us,  
she brings Shirogane along with her.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
What the hell are you doing here, 13?

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I could ask the same of you, Ryuu.

 **(Kukiko)**  
That's not how it works, Takeru-chan.  
Ryuu asked you first.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
N–n–n–nee-chan!  
You've promoted him so many times now!

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Eh?_ How do you mean?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
First, he was aniki in the simulations,  
then he was Takeru-san and -kun outside of it,  
and now, he's Takeru- _chan_?  
What's next? _Honey_?

 **(Kukiko)**  
I guess so?  
I'm fast-forwarding our relationship~.  
Is there something wrong with that?

Kuki isn't serious, of course...  
She's simply teasing Ryuu, knowing that he'd react this way,  
right? Right—Kuki?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Tss_. Do whatever you want.  
I'm outta here.

Sulking, Ryuu heads to another barren tree on the lowest site of the hill.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Don't take it personally, Shirogane.  
It's been a while since the squad has met new people,  
so to suddenly meet all of 207-A and you  
must be a lot to take in for Ryuu.

 **(Takeru)**  
I didn't think anyone would be here.  
Pardon my intrusion... I–I'll leave if I'm disturbing you–

 **(Kukiko)**  
No no no–! You aren't intruding at all.  
It's a long walk back to the base,  
why not hang out with us for a while?

Then, facing in the general direction of Ryuu,  
who has hidden himself from view,  
she pretends to holler at him,

 **(Kukiko)**  
That's alright with you, right Ryuu?

Radio silence.

 **(Kukiko)**  
See, he's alright with you staying~.

With the same silence as Ryuu,  
Shirogane moves to the tree adjacent to mine,  
on the other side of what once used to be a street,  
the fifth tree from the foot of the hill.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Takeru-chan! Be very careful with that one,  
I just watered it this afternoon.

Of all the trees he has to choose from,  
he chooses Kuki's favourite one.

Wrong move, Shirogane.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh_? Why would you water it?

 **(Kukiko)**  
So that it grows cherry blossoms in the spring, silly.

 **(Takeru)**  
But—they look like they haven't grown flowers in a long time.

 **(Kukiko)**  
And? What of it?  
Who knows—one day they might,  
so I'll keep doing so until that day arrives.

He's persistent on staying beside that particular tree,  
even in the face of the equally persistent Kuki.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Give up, 13.  
You're never going to win against Nee-chan.

His voice comes out of nowhere.

Typical Ryuu. He's still listening, after all.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Does that tree hold any significance to you,  
Shirogane?

 **(Takeru)**  
Not the tree itself, but what it... symbolizes...  
The... souls... of my closest friends  
are buried underneath this station...

 _Hmm_. How cryptic.

It appears that someone else has made this place a provisional cemetery,  
as have we...

 **(Kukiko)**  
I suppose... I can share it with you...  
But—only if you water it sometimes too!

 **(Takeru)  
** Thank you, this means a lot to me, Cookie.  
But, _uhhh_ —where do you even get water–?

Kuki slaps him on the back.

 **(Kukiko)**  
You're a smart guy,  
you'll figure it out~.

Four shadows now dance in the tide of night  
where there were once three.

I have no objection to the presence of the fourth.

Even with the newest 207-A graduates joining our ranks three days ago,  
only three months has passed since we lost five A-01 comrades.

One from Squadron 2, one from 7, and three from 8...

The stench of their deaths has not completely left the air just yet.

Ryuu, Kuki and I are the last of the pioneers of Squadron 7,  
and now there is only Squadron 9.

Thus and thus—the visit of someone new might be a healthy reprieve for our recent losses.

 _Hmm_...

And since he's here,  
the opportunity to gather answers to some questions of mine has presented itself–

...

Over my right shoulder,  
I scan across the walkway at where Shirogane is crouched  
as he gazes intently on that paltry stock of wood with roots in the ground.

Was he not being figurative when he said that his friends are buried in that location?

I might be taking his words too lightly.

But he's not the only one who's visiting the graves of the dead.

He looks terribly worn-out,  
similar to how I do at the end of a day's long mission,  
or maybe even worse.

Is it possible that the simulations did this to him?  
It wouldn't be a surprise if they did—after all of his theatrics.  
His performance against Mitsuki-san was out of this world,  
and though severely lacking in teamwork,  
he performed just as impressively in our hive infiltration.

They may only be simulations,  
but on the mental and physical planes,  
simulations can still take their toll on the best of us, myself included.

However—tired or not, a soldier is prepared for anything,  
and a soldier Shirogane will be.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Shirogane,

He shifts his attention to me.

 **(Takahashi)**  
I have something to ask of you,  
and I will only ask you this once.

In other words, I want the truth, _or else_ –

 **(Takeru)**  
If it's a question I can answer,  
I will give you a decent answer.

Good enough for me;  
he carries the conduct of a straight shooter,  
so I'll take his word for what it's worth.

 **(Takahashi)**  
You named me correctly in our previous meeting.  
Do I know you from somewhere?

Meanwhile, Ryuu comes out of hiding,  
dusting off the dirt on his clothes and walking back to our part of the hill.

He likely also wants to hear Shirogane's answer.

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I don't believe you do, but...  
I do know you.

 _Hmh?_

 **(Kukiko)**  
Your reputation precedes you, aniki.

I don't think that's what he meant, Kuki.

He phrased it in a very unconventional fashion.

' _I don't believe you do_ ,' is another way of saying that I _should_ know him,  
even if I am unaware of it myself.

Moreover, _'_ – _but I do know you,'_ could denote a variety of possibilities.

For instance,  
that he recognizes me from my past post as Colonel of the Guard,  
or that he knows me from—another world? Like the one in my apparitions?

Ludicrous...

Every which way I interpret his answer,  
in no circumstance does he appear to be telling any lies.

I would like to complain at how abstract his words are,  
but at the same time, I cannot force fault on him when he speaks only the truth.

 **(Takeru)**  
Cookie, why do you keep staring at me?

I'm not done asking questions,  
but Kuki is stealing the limelight from me.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Eh_ –? Was I now?  
I wasn't trying to be awkward or anything–

That's a bit of an understatement.

Kuki is on all fours, head tilted at a slight angle,  
her eyes at the same level as his, inches from his face,  
acting like how a curious toddler would inspect, say—a grasshopper.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
She fancies you, 13.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Ryuu! I would like to speak for myself,  
thank you very much!

As dark as it is, I can see her pout at her brother,  
and I can also hear Ryuu grunting in complaint.

 **(Kukiko)**  
It's too bad, though.  
I think you're cute, Takeru-chan,  
but I know your kind, and you're all the same.  
Guys like you always end up dying before everyone else.

 **(Takeru)**  
'Guys like me'?  
I don't think you know me well enough to come to that assumption.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Maybe I don't know you well enough,  
but I know _just_ enough.

Kuki stands up and treads across the walkway as she rubs her knees,  
returning to my side of the leafless sakura trees.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
She's talking about what you said in the simulation,  
in case you were wondering.

 **(Takeru)**  
What is it I said  
that you think was so wrong?

 **(Kukiko)**  
You wanted to stay in the reactor and set off the S-11s.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
–What kind of idiot throws away their own life for such a useless purpose anyway?

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Ah_ — I wasn't thinking clearly at the time,  
but... I think it's an action Mitsuki would've taken too–

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
No she wouldn't.

Ryuu shakes his head at him disapprovingly.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I know her better than you do,  
and she would sooner let _us_ die than she would give up her own life.

 **(Takahashi)**  
You're over-exaggerating, Ryuu.  
We have no way of knowing what she would do  
had she been in Shirogane's shoes.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Stop being mean to her, will you.  
Anego is scarred enough as she is.  
How will she ever recover if you never tell her–?

 **(Takeru)**  
Mitsuki—you sound like you hate each other, Ryuu.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Hmph_. I can never hate anego...  
But—you're right about how she despises me...  
It's a long story.  
One you don't need to know–

 **(Kukiko)**  
–Anego believes that we killed Takayuki-kun.

Startled, Ryuu jumps up at the abrupt appearance of Kuki at his side.

Even I am taken aback by how she soundlessly sneaked up on him,  
when only a moment ago, she was right beside me.

 **(Takeru)**  
–you killed Takayuki?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Nee-chan! You can't say these things to an outsider!

 **(Kukiko)**  
Try and stop me.  
What're you gonna do,  
rat me out to the Professor?

Ryuu looks shiftily in my direction for aid against his sister,  
but to that end—I cannot help him.

Kuki is as strong-willed as they come,  
and no one can stop her once she sets her mind to something.

It is that determinate will that has kept her and her brother alive for so long,  
long enough for me to find them,  
after having wrestled in the ultimate struggle—the struggle called Life.

 **(Takeru)**  
Takayuki... I'm just trying to make sense of this, but,  
is he Mitsuki's—lover?

 _'Tsk,'_ Ryuu clicks his tongue in discontent.

The subject of Narumi Takayuki is not one he likes to talk about,  
for reasons of how it reopens wounds both old and new.

I must admit... that I too... would rather steer clear of this discussion–

 **(Kukiko)**  
Not even!  
Taka-kun was the love interest of anego and Mum–

I guess our wishes to avoid this will have to wait until Kuki ceases to exist.

 **(Takeru)**  
Mum—you must mean Haruka?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Oh, right. That's her nickname.  
I keep forgetting that you're not a member of A-01 yet.

I notice that she left out the part where she _conveniently_ forgets that fact.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Anyway—the two of them never even got to tell Taka-kun that they love him.  
Can you imagine how terrible you'd feel if the people you love are suddenly gone the next day?  
Without them ever knowing how much you loved them?  
It's tragic—oh so tragic!

In the middle of the street between myself and Shirogane,  
Kuki prances around Ryuu,  
teasing him for the secrets he has yet to tell anyone other than his sister and me.

But–

 **(Takahashi)**  
Don't push him, Kuki,

This time—I lend him my assistance.

Twins though they may be,  
the little differences between brother and sister is quite astounding  
to the extent that these little differences make them seem like they are so far apart,  
when the truth is, they cannot be any more similar.

I've lived with them since they were eleven years of age,  
so this I can say with absolute certainty:

That Honesty is their most prominent virtue.

However, this particular subject is—delicate territory... for Ryuu...

So much that he is holding back this truth not because he is timid, or apprehensive,  
but because he faces this obstacle called _time_.

Time—the healer of all wounds,  
no matter how old,  
no matter how new.

And the _time_ for Ryuu is not yet ripe.

Consequently, I see no need for Kuki to wave this in front of one so distant as Shirogane,  
not until her brother is prepared to bring it up himself.

In this occasion—they are different,  
for Kuki does not share the same restraint as Ryuu.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _*sigh*_ **  
**You better do it before it's too late, lil' bro.  
I'd really appreciate having anego finally stop hating me for no reason.

She puts a stop to her tease, much to the relief of Ryuu,  
who retreats to my side in case his dear sister changes her mind.

In her quest to find a new victim to prey upon,  
she diverts her attention to the newcomer—Shirogane.

 **(Kukiko)  
** What about you, Takeru-chan?  
Do you know how to dance?

 **(Takeru)**  
What for–?

By the time his question is tossed in the air,  
Kuki has already swept him off of his seat away from his tree.

In place of Ryuu, she takes the lead and dances with her new partner.

The tongue-tied Shirogane can do nothing but submit himself awkwardly to her sways and rhythmic motions.

I'm glad she chose him,  
otherwise I would've been the target of her fond taste for dancing.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm not a very good dancer.  
You know what—I'm not _any_ kind of dancer.

 **(Kukiko)**  
You'll get the hang of it.  
You're an Eishi, aren't you?  
It's almost the same thing–

 **(Takeru)**  
I fail to see the similarities.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Hand-eye-feet coordination,  
and just a pinch of emotion,  
that's all it is.  
See? You're catching on quickly!  
Just keep with my tempo!

The only melody for their subtle waltz under this night sky is the voice of Kuki's,  
as she says her next words all too singingly,

 **(Kukiko)**  
Takeru-chan, try not to be like Ryuu.  
He keeps saying he'll do it tomorrow,  
but what'll he do when he runs out of tomorrows?  
We only have one life—so what's the point in being slow?  
If there is something you want to do,  
or anything you need to say,  
whatever it is, do it right away.  
You see, I like to treat every second like it was an hour,  
every hour like it was a day,  
and every day like it was a century,  
because a century is long enough to live an entire life, Takeru-chan.  
So if I squeeze a century's worth of time into one day,  
then I could live an entire lifetime today,  
and a brand new one tomorrow.  
By the time death arrives, I'll have lived several more lives  
than the ordinary person can rightfully say!

 **(Takeru)  
** I've never heard it described that way, **  
**but I'm not enchanted by the notion of living several lifetimes.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Enchanting or not,  
I think it's unfair that we only have one life!

 **(Takeru)**  
How do you condense an entire lifetime into one day anyhow?

 **(Kukiko)  
** There are sooo many ways to do so, Takeru-chan~!  
We'd be up all night if you really want me to make a list for you.  
But take me, for instance–  
I promoted you from aniki to Takeru-chan so quickly!  
You know how they say, _'Live every day like it might be your last'_?  
Why, this is just another way of saying that–

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Neeeee-chan, can you please quit saying that?  
What—is a BETA army going to show up at our doorsteps without any warning–?

The boy who abhors the concept of dying tries to interrupt her—to no avail.

 **(Kukiko)**  
–Oh, here's a good example:  
anego and Mum and even Misae-san!  
Anego and Mum waited until it was too late,  
and Misae-san _still_ hasn't told her man that she loves him–!

Shirogane's expression does not change.

Perhaps the aloof disposition of Kuki makes her sound less genuine,  
when the reality is that she's more genuine than he realizes.

 **(Takeru)**  
–Cookie, I know you mean well,  
but you're wasting your breath on me.  
I have no time for little things like love,  
which I believe to be your pervading theme.

With that being said, Shirogane breaks the hold between himself and Kuki,  
bringing their dance to a brusque conclusion.

If this was a scene out of a theatrical play (like the ones that Michiru enjoys so much),  
with an orchestral sonata playing in the background,  
its music just came to a screeching halt.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Whaaat?!  
No time for love–?!

Her hairband—in her frustration, she yanked it out of her head,  
leaving her hair scattered, under the mercy of the clement breeze.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _*laughs*_  
You've really done it this time, 13.

As much as I would like to chime in on their dialogue,  
I rather enjoy watching Kuki go off on one of her rants,  
and we are about to witness an example of one.

 **(Kukiko)**  
How can you live like that, Takeru-chan?!

 **(Takeru)**  
You wouldn't understand, Cookie...  
Love—has no place in my life...  
All it's done for me is make difficult decisions even more difficult,  
and I sometimes wonder how easier it would've been if I hadn't loved at all...

 **(Kukiko)**  
What a boring way of life!

 **(Takeru)**  
If you're so quick to judge me,  
then what is the 'proper' way of living in the world of Cookie?  
Is that what _you're_ here for?  
For this 'love' that you think is so great?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Yes, exactly that!  
For love!  
And I'm not talking about the romantic kind of love, no.  
I'm talking about the _love for Life_.

 **(Takeru)**  
I don't understand you...

 **(Kukiko)**  
You're too simple-minded, that's why.

Ryuu and I say nothing,  
taking amusement in Shirogane's bewilderment.

 **(Takeru)**  
Then please—explain it to my simple mind.

Shirogane has really revved up Kuki.

It's been a long time since I've seen her as passionate as she is now.

She's taken center stage of the pavement and even pushed Shirogane out of her way,  
basking in the fresh air  
and spreading her arms to drown herself in the entire view before us.

If there was ever a way to introduce who Kuki really is,  
there is no opportunity to do so that is more accurate than the present.

The sonata continues...

 **(Kukiko)**  
There is no better reason to fight if only for your own life,  
because Life is just... _beautiful_ , Takeru-chan!  
To see and hear,  
to smell and taste,  
to touch, and to feel,

With every sensation, she describes with over-emphasized actions.

To see—she cups her hands over her eyes.  
To hear—a hand hovers over her ears.  
To smell—she takes a deep breath of the sweet-scented October air.  
To taste—she smacks her lips at an imaginary treat.  
To touch—she hugs herself and rocks her shoulders here and there.

And to feel—she swoons over Shirogane,  
who, luckily, catches her in his arms.

Kuki immediately stands up,  
because she isn't quite finished.

Her palm finds a resting place on top of her heart,

 **(Kukiko)  
** –to take chances, to make wishes, to have dreams,  
to laugh at jokes, or cry your tears away,  
to fall in love, even,  
or have your heart broken,  
to be... _human_... and to just... _be_ ~!  
Everyone is madly obsessed with the meaning and purpose of Life,  
but I think that there's already lots of meaning just by staying alive!

To her audience of three,  
she confesses to her one true love in a voice so musically.

Her love—the love for Life.

You will never meet anyone more intoxicated with being alive  
than Ryuu and Kuki.

 **(Kukiko)**  
All of these joys of being alive,  
you'd never know what it's like if you were like that tree,  
and even less so when you're six feet underneath.

 **(Takeru)**  
And what of pain and agony?  
Surely you can't bring up the joys of Life  
without also bringing its misfortunes to light–

 **(Kukiko)**  
–Pain? Pain is the ultimate proof that we are alive!  
To feel pain—you must be able to _feel_ ,  
and to feel means that you still have Life!  
And if that's the price for a gift this high,  
then I'll gladly pay for it, whatever the price!

Is her proud reply.

Again—I hold myself back from the temptation of disrupting Kuki's soliloquy.

Shirogane's face is confused,  
as expected of someone whose outlook of Life has probably never been as intimate as Kuki's and Ryuu's.

But who can blame him?

Even I, when I first got to know them, displayed the same reaction as his right now.

For the longest time,  
I was blown away by how someone of their upbringing can love Life so much  
that the only reason they joined me in the first place  
is because they wanted to protect that devotion.

I consider myself their mentor,  
but they have arguably taught me so much more.

...

Only a few seconds pass until Shirogane pipes up.

 **(Takeru)**  
They told me you were ruthless, Cookie.  
I think I now see why.

 **(Kukiko)**  
To save myself, in the name of love—my love for Life.  
Is that so ruthless, Takeru-chan?

 **(Takeru)**  
There are some who would call that a selfish way of life.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _*laughs*_  
Show me these people who say that it's selfish!  
I want them to know that I won't be losing any sleep over them.  
I don't live to chase the approval of anyone but myself, Takeru-chan~.  
After all, it's my life, not theirs.

 **(Takeru)**  
And what about Ryuu?  
If it meant saving your brother's life,  
would you blow the S-11s up in the reactor?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Stupid—we already told you those S-11s were programmed to go off on a timer!  
There was absolutely no need for your meaningless suicide!

 **(Takeru)**  
But that was just a simulation.  
What if we did that in the real world—in this world,  
and the BETA are somehow smart enough to dismantle the S-11s?  
Is that a situation the simulation can foresee?

 **(Takahashi)**  
That's a very oddly specific circumstance, Shirogane.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm just saying—it _might_ happen...  
Well, Cookie?

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Khh_ –  
That would be the only exception to my modus vivendi.  
It is my curse for being born a few seconds sooner—  
that the older sister must protect the Life of her little brother.

Ryuu complains,

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Hmph.  
_ Way to make me think twice about doing the same for you, Nee-chan.  
And don't call it a curse, think of it more as a privilege–

 **(Takeru)**  
 _*chuckles*_

Shirogane's laughter surprises Ryuu and me.  
Was Ryuu's quip that amusing?

 **(Takeru)**  
Thank you, Cookie—I desperately needed to hear all that.  
Your lifestyle... we have that in common.

 **(Takahashi and Ryuuseiu)**  
You do?

That took a lot less convincing than I thought,  
if any convincing was needed in the first place.

The Fukuis' reason for fighting this war is not one easily understood by the majority of the populace.

There are many who are here for greater purposes,  
such as the salvation of mankind,  
the security of the future,  
protection of loved ones,  
or the desire to be remembered.

It may even be as simple as the wish to just—die:  
to die a meaningless death—a suicide,  
or to seek a meaningful end—a sacrifice.

To fight for one's own life, for self-preservation,  
is a novelty shared only by these two at my side,  
hence my shock that they are now joined by the newcomer.

Perhaps I misread him.

His confused look earlier, upon first hearing Kuki's rhapsody of Life—  
is it possible that he wasn't confused, but rather, surprised?  
Surprised at finding another who would so fiercely defend her own life?

 **(Takeru)**  
I've been beating myself up as of late  
because I thought it was self-centered of me to wish to save—me...  
It's... it's comforting to find out that I am not alone...  
that this way of thinking is not some grave sin...  
that it's not so vain a purpose as I believed it to be...

 **(Kukiko)**  
Of course it isn't vain!  
It's not a crime to want to be alive!

 **(Takeru)  
** _If it's not a crime, then why am I in prison?_

A strong gust of wind blew in our ears at the same time as he said something,  
and his voice lowered so that none of us could hear him.

Although.

He looks... better... now.  
His breathing is easier.

I'm not sure in what way,  
but Kuki's words must have had some relieving effect on Shirogane.

 **(Takeru)**  
Thanks—Cookie... but...  
Just to set the record straight,  
I'm not sure what gave you the impression that I have a death wish,  
because I don't—I don't have one.  
I very much need to stay alive.  
We could've spared ourselves this whole conversation,  
and you even misled me with your talk about... love...  
If it's because of what I said back in the reactor—I only said that on impulse.  
It will never... happen... again...

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Phew_! That's a relief.  
Don't be a hero, Takeru-chan!  
Heroes are a thing of fairy tales and stories,  
and we aren't living in that kind of a story.

 **(Takeru)**  
Who said anything about being a hero?  
That's not the kind of story I'm looking for either, Cookie.  
You seem to still be misunderstanding me.  
I never claimed that I'm here to save anybody.

 **(Everyone)**  
? ? ?

Kuki wipes off her hairband on her shirt before replacing it back on her head,  
then she walks up to relax beside Shirogane in the tree that they now share.

Taking advantage of her recess,  
I decide to inquire about his last peculiar sentiment.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Then—what _is_ your story, Shirogane?  
Why're you here?

 **(Takeru)**  
My story isn't anything grand.  
I need to fix something broken to me—that's all.  
I... I'm not allowed to die until then.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
You're a lot chattier than you were in front of the rest of A-01.  
You even stopped stuttering like a wimp.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Ryuu~!

 **(Takeru)**  
–No, I'm just more comfortable out here.

He glances past Kuki with eyes fixed on the tree as they were before.

 **(Takeru)  
** It's more—peaceful... I should say?

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Tell me about it.  
It's too crowded up that hill.  
Do the demons of Yokohama Base haunt you as well?

 **(Takeru)  
** Demons? You see demons in the base?

 **(Takahashi)  
** _*chuckles*_  
Don't take his words literally.

Ryuu laughs along with me,  
but more so with a hint of anxiety.

 **(Takeru)**  
Then what 'demons' is he talking about?

Shirogane perches his head up in a mysterious show of curiosity.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Are you into the supernatural, Takeru-chan?  
Wait—don't even answer,  
you'll only be disappointed.  
We aren't talking about actual demons going around scaring everyone off.

I don't think he was talking about the supernatural either, Kuki.  
As a matter of fact, I think he knows exactly what we are talking about–

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
This base—it gives us nightmares...

 **(Takeru)**  
Night...mares?

It's time to find out... the truth...

 **(Takahashi)  
** Aye.  
The simulation we were in earlier—did you recognize the place?

It is unlikely—impossible, even—for a fresh cadet to have entered a hive before.

However, you are no 'fresh cadet', now are you, Shirogane?

It took me a while, but things are becoming clearer to me now.  
Things... about—Shirogane...  
And about... me.

 **(Takeru)**  
I did. It was this hive, wasn't it?  
Yokohama Hive?

Yes. I am sure of it now.  
You are not who you claim to be.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Indeed it was.  
Two years ago, we were in the real hive.  
Ryuu, Kuki and I,  
–along with the rest of the Dellingr Squadron,  
and all of A-01 Regiment's nine Squadrons–  
we were a part of that mission...  
Of Operation... Lucifer...

Kuki's sonata ends on cue.


	14. The Demons in Me

_AN: I thought d be fitting to save this chapter release for the eve of December 31, the anniversary date of Operation Cherry Blossom. o7._

* * *

 **Chapter 14 – The Demons in Me**

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

There's a sound in my ears that's been looping itself over and over;  
it's the sound like that of shattering glass.  
And blood is pouring down the fractal remains on the other side of my knuckles.

I can't sleep in here either.

Hurrying out of my room, I slam my door shut behind me,  
all the while neglecting any consideration for the neighbours to my left and right.

I apologize to them in my head, for disturbing them in their sleep.  
At the same time, I curse them for being lucky enough to sleep without worry.

There must be a place where I can find relief.  
I can't keep going on like this.

I'm pretty sure that some secret service bureaus use sleep deprivation as a form of torture,  
and in some ways, it's worse than any form of physical torture.

Like air, food and water—sleep is a basic human necessity,  
and the fact that I'm scarcely getting any is deeply taxing to my mental and physical wellness.

I can't discount the possibility that the hallucinations aren't leaving me because my mind is crying for sleep,  
but how _can_ I sleep, when the hallucinations keep me awake?

It's a vicious, inescapable cycle.

What do I do? Where do I go?

I can't go back to Sumika's chambers, even though Kasumi has returned.  
I just can't stand that room.  
There's something in there that's making my memories come to life.

It can't be from Kasumi or her projections;  
this started last night, while she was still in the infirmary.

Is it Sumika? I don't know.  
And—I don't care if it is,  
I'll still visit her, even if only during the day.  
I just won't spend my nights in there.

So, here I am, walking along these secluded corridors, lost,  
like a child in a crowded mall, separated from his parents—  
from mom and dad...

It's been a long time since I last saw them.

I know that I'm, for all intents and purposes, what society would consider an adult,  
but I think that even full-grown adults yearn for their parents at times.  
(Positive, negative, or indifferent thoughts...  
whether you love them or hate them,  
the concept of one's parents do come to mind).

Family is such a broad word, though—my own is comprised of a number of close friends.  
Still, mom and dad will always be my family...  
 _My home_...

Oh,  
I've run out of hallways to wander.

I've reached the outdoors.  
I'm near the front gates.

Hold on, that's—right...  
I could go to _that_ place.

Yes. _That's_ the place where I'll stay tonight.

* * *

 _Phew_ —that made for an awkward encounter.

I was worried the corporals would remember me for my actions here a few days ago,  
but they forgave me a little too easily.

I would've thought that they'd want to get back at me for pushing them aside,  
and they didn't even want to do that.  
The one that knocked me cold actually had this proud look on his face.

It's also unusual that they granted me permission to exit the base at this late hour.  
Are they under some instruction from Yuuko-sensei?

Maybe I'm just looking for a reason to punish myself.  
They were very... understanding—that's all there is to it...

...

...

...

The walk down this hill is refreshing,  
and there's just enough moonlight to guide me to the memorial sakura tree.

I wonder if Meiya is still up, admiring this beautiful night.  
Although—it is a bit cloudy, so the stars are hidden from sight.

Even if she was awake, it wouldn't make a difference...  
I still wouldn't be able to find out what it is exactly I've done to her,  
now that she wants nothing to do with me...

 _..._

 _. . ._

 _'What are you fighting for, Takeru...?'_

I'm fighting one last time to find the true Causality Conductor,  
so that I can once and for all put my story to a close.

 _But it's desperately frustrating,  
that no matter how many times I brace myself for what I have to do,  
I still end up thinking about everyone more than I want to..._

 _I have never felt this torn in my entire life...  
Never_— _in all my lives..._

 _To say that my resolve is steeled—is much easier said than done...  
Words are, at the end of the day, just words...  
Hollow and meaningless..._

Shouldn't I be able to detach myself?  
The bonds I shared with them, are not with _them_ ,  
but with their selves from the other worlds—not this world.

So, I should be able to sever the bond without hesitating, right?

Therefore, it shouldn't matter if Meiya hates me...  
It'll make it a lot easier later, when she has to die for me...

These bonds that I used to cherish are now the same ones that weigh me down...

 _Fuck_ –! This entire ordeal would've been so much simpler  
had I not loved in the first place.

...

...

...

I...

I pounded my fist at the tree closest to me...

This I realized only after feeling the throb on the side of my hand...

I sigh a deep, long sigh,  
as I shuffle my feet onwards...

...

Yeah...

That should be a good place to rest,  
beside the substitute grave of my beloved friends.  
Maybe I can even talk to them.  
They don't have to talk back to me (that'd be too spooky).  
I just need—to talk...

In a normal world, were I a normal boy,  
that would've been my grave too—if I did end up dying.

But because of the Causality Conductor, I don't even have a grave,  
nor do I need one.  
Everyone forgets about me as my existence is wiped from their memories.

My issue is not with that, however.

Obviously, if this cycle has no means of freedom,  
then I would prefer to have it all end so that I can rest in eternal peace,  
rather than live an immortal life with no progression.

But I do... want to live...  
To come out of this—alive...  
I _know in my heart_ that I want to survive.

Isn't it comical how people realize their truest feelings and wishes  
only in the seconds right before certain death?  
Comical—not in the _'Hahaha'_ sense.  
Comical—in the _'For God's sake'_ context.

I can't remember how I die in all my previous loops  
(and consequently, I can't recall my final thoughts in those moments),  
but I do remember one vivid _near_ -death experience:  
during the surprise BETA invasion in the XM3 trials,  
where I 'heroically' tried to 'annihilate' the BETA with paintball bullets.

Trapped in that light-starved compartment, thinking it was the end,  
I begged for my life to whichever god was there to listen.

Because life... is just so much better than being dead...

Even if it hurts to be alive, there's always the hope that the future can be brighter,  
and that hope is enough to look forward to life.  
Whereas death—is too _final_.

I don't want to put an end to this curse only to wind up dead...

 _Huh_ –!  
What in the–!  
What's this?!

There's someone else out here—and he or she is running at me quickly!

My hand reflexively reaches for my pocket,  
but... it stops upon recognizing the approaching figure.

Cookie? What is _she_ doing out here?

My hand comes back up to greet her instead.

 **(Kukiko)**  
'Evening Takeru-chan~!

Takeru...chan?  
The only one who has ever called me that... is... Sumika...

Calling me that so endearingly—is she always this fast to cozy up to just anybody?

But... I was told that she's 'ruthless'.  
When I look at her, I can't find anything that fits the description,  
apart from her cocky demeanor.

What were they referring to when they say that about her?

 **(Takeru)  
** Good eve–

 _Aughh_ , she's pulling my elbow before I could even return her greeting.  
Where's she taking me?

...

...

Her long hair—it's getting in my face as the wind carries it while we run.  
It smells... very pleasant. The scent of vanilla, if I were to guess,  
as opposed to the lavender fragrance of Meiya's.

It's probably daft that I mention that,  
but it's the only thing I _can_ mention,  
because her hair is blocking my vision,  
so my sense of smell is the only available sense I have.

 _Ah_. That's no longer the case.  
My sense of hearing is now of use.

I hear—more voices.

 **(? ? ?)**  
What the hell are you doing here, 13?

* * *

 **(Takahashi)**  
Do I know you from somewhere?

Ryuu shows up once again as I provide Takahashi with my reply.

I shouldn't have uttered Takahashi's name back then,  
now that he's eyeing me suspiciously.

 **(Takeru)**  
I don't believe you do,  
but—I do know you.

I give him an answer by not exactly answering his underlying question.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Your reputation precedes you, aniki.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Of course it does!  
Who in the world doesn't know big bro—The Herdsman of the Guard?

Takahashi hasn't added anything yet, which is good for now.

Maybe if I pursue Ryuu's line of conversation,  
Takahashi wouldn't pry any further.

 **(Takeru)**  
The Herdwhat–?

 _Uhh_ —is that his... nickname?

I think Michiru was about to tell me the same thing earlier,  
just as I interrupted her.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Are you deaf, 13?  
I'm not repeating myself.

 **(Takeru)**  
—?

What's his problem?  
I asked him politely, so why does he have to answer so haughtily?

And why does he keep calling me '13'?

I don't think I've done anything wrong to him–  
have I?

 **(Kukiko)**  
They call him The Herdsman, Takeru-chan,  
because he's like a shepherd, if BETA were like sheep!

I can't believe that they're twins,  
they're so unlike each other.

One is, for the most part, cold and uninviting,  
the other, lively and free-spirited.

I shouldn't say that in the general sense, though.

In the simulation, Cookie had moments of hot-headedness,  
and Ryuu also has moments where he's the cool-headed of the two.

It's so—strange.

Maybe it'd be more precise to say that they're never in sync at the same time?

When Cookie is up, Ryuu is down.  
When Cookie is down, Ryuu is up.  
One picks up after the other.

Had they been a singular whole person, instead of being split into a pair,  
they'd appear like any normal human being.

Is this a twin sibling thing?

 _Hmm_...

Anyway—I think there's an axiom for shepherds and their sheep,

 **(Takeru)**  
Is it because he leads the BETA to their slaughter?

That's how it goes, I believe.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
That's just the half of it.  
Anego likes to think that she has the most BETA frags in A-01,  
but the truth is, aniki sets it all up for us,  
so it's really his frags, not hers.  
We stopped counting because of how many zeros the number has.  
Aniki can maneuver the BETA around as he pleases,  
making them all go to the exact spots where he wants them to be,  
like how a shepherd lines up his sheep, or rounds them up in a pen–

Wow, that sounds like a convenient role to have in a team.  
To herd the BETA—that would be quite the sight to behold.  
I wonder how he does that though.

In our simulation, he made up our rear.

I suppose if he were a Blast Guard, like Mikoto,  
he could use the Assault Cannons to redirect the route of the BETA,  
like how shooting at people's feet would prompt them into making a turn.

BETA don't react the same way, as a matter of course,  
but I suspect that if you actually frag them and make a large enough blockade of their dead,  
eventually they do end up taking the routes with lesser resistance,  
and that route would probably be the one Takahashi wants them to take.

Or maybe he uses the missiles to blast and alter the terrain  
to form a funnel or something and limit their available walking paths.

Alternatively—if he were in another post in the unit,  
and considering Michiru's testimony of Takahashi's piloting abilities,  
I guess he could exploit his dexterity and lure the BETA out of position.

However way he does it,  
it'd be interesting to see Takahashi in action now.

 **(Kukiko)**  
–Then, when they're lined up nicely like so,  
Boom! In comes anego and I for the execution!  
One bullet takes out three instead of just one,  
and one shot from the Assault Cannon takes out twenty instead of just five.  
Or—if you prefer the halberds, like I do, you can just hold your swords sideways  
and jet-boost through their lines. They'll all fall down like dominoes!  
That's my favourite trick in aniki's book!

Cookie snickers a little too creepily;  
it reminds me of Yuuko-sensei's own sinister laugh.

She kind of reminds me of a younger Yuuko-sensei.  
Determined, easily intrigued, upfront, and, if I trust other sources, 'ruthless'...  
She also has child-like tendencies, however.  
She's unsophisticated, mirthful, stubborn; almost like–

Hey–! _Ughh_!

Without warning, Ryuu pulled me up from my seat,  
faced us away from Cookie,  
placed his arm over my shoulders,  
and cupped his hand over his mouth.

He's whispering.

What does he have to hide from Cookie?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
This is why our old squad used to call Nee-chan Butch instead.  
If Aniki is the shepherd, then Nee-chan is the butcher, if not worse.  
Trust me—she gets psycho with a Type-74 Blade in hand.  
But now that we're the only ones left, the nickname died with our squad.  
Lame—I know.

That said,  
he nudges me downwards so that I'm sitting again,  
back to how I was.

Thanks, I guess?

What was the point in that,  
aside from 'butchering' the image of Cookie in my mind?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Hey, hey, Takeru-chan~,  
what did Ryuu tell you?

Whoa–! Where'd she come from?

She's suddenly at my side—kneeling on all fours.

Her face is close to mine,  
so close, in fact,  
that I can almost see the pores on her cheeks,  
which is saying something—what with the non-abundance of light around.

 **(Takeru)**  
Don't worry; it had nothing to do with you,

I assure her,  
while shrugging off the ruffles on my shirt where Ryuu put his arms around.

Sorry—but if Ryuu had to whisper what he said about you,  
then it'd only be civil of me to keep his intentions in mind.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Mmmmmh_...

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Khh_ –!

What the hell was that–?!

I detected a murderous intent just now,  
but it disappeared before I got a better feel for it.

Actually—did it disappear because my left arm inserted itself between our faces?

I didn't tell my arm to do that, so why did it move to defend myself,  
like how a guard draws out his weapon when his master is in peril?

But there is no murderous intent that I can see.

If it was from Cookie—she was only being mischievous...

Maybe it was the way her eyes narrowed, or how her lips pursed.  
It doesn't help that she's too close for comfort.  
I can't tell exactly, but my instincts thought that there was danger in the air...

This same thing happened when Meiya reached her hand out to me,  
where my body moved quicker than my mind could think,  
and my body, I learned, is a terrible judge of reaction...

This trauma is encroaching into the little aspects of my everyday life,  
that I would hurt those so innocent, like Meiya, and now Cookie...

 _'Why... Why am I turning like this...?'_

The whole event lasted only a second, if not less,  
contrary to the minutes that it felt like in my head.

As swiftly as I raised my arm, I now put it down.

I hope Cookie thinks that I just flinched,  
or swatted at an elusive insect.  
That would be the better narrative for her to assume,  
not the version where I almost harm her...

I expect her to have backed off by the time my left arm fully retreats.

But—Cookie's face is still there,  
and she isn't moving.

She's still... fixated... on me...

 **(Takeru)**  
Cookie, why do you keep staring?

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Eh_ –? Was I?  
But you're sweating, Takeru-chan~.  
Am I making you uncomfortable?

I sigh in relief.

Not out loud, though; just to myself...  
 _'No one else noticed my moment of duress.'_

This they will, however: that I'm wiping the sweat off my forehead.

* * *

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Do the demons of Yokohama Base haunt you as well?

 **(Takeru)**  
Demons? You see demons in the base?

These demons he speaks of—their nightmares...  
Is this a fault of mine? Are they seeing images because of me?

But—that can't be.

Shirogane Takeru has no memories _with_ them, or even _of_ them.  
How can they be visited by memories that don't exist?

...

 **(Takahashi)**  
Two years ago,  
Ryuu, Kuki and I,  
we were a part of that mission,  
Operation Lucifer.

 **(Takeru)**  
It was you? You brought down Yokohama Hive?

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** I don't think you should be sharing this info with him, aniki–

Takahashi says nothing to Ryuu,  
and instead, says his next words to me.

 **(Takahashi)  
** No, we didn't bring it down...  
We... failed...  
when we were so close...  
 _I was practically there,  
the reactor was within my reach..._

The moon so happened to hide behind a passing cluster of clouds,  
so I can't see them too clearly from my position,  
and the voices on the other side of the paved road have suddenly grown more sullen with the switch in subject matter.

I do notice the faint silhouette of Takahashi,  
an arm stretched in front of him,  
reaching for a dream he can see, but never touch.

I know what that's like, Takahashi...

Glancing one more time at the resting place of Marimo-chan... of A-01... of 207-B...  
I evacuate my station and stand up to get closer to Takahashi and Ryuu.

Cookie follows me shortly so as to not be left out.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Three Battalions, each with three Squadrons,  
made up the entire Wing of A-01.  
Along with the Imperial and Mainland Forces,  
our mission was the recapture of Objective 22,  
Yokohama Hive–

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
–Correction, aniki.  
Our _primary_ objective was reconnaissance—intel gathering.  
Securing the reactor was just the eventual objective  
if we were lucky enough to reach it.

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _Ah_ —you're right.

Intel gathering?

If memory serves, I'm sure that Michiru taught me about this.

A standard hive infiltration would normally include a recon unit,  
a dedicated chain of TSFs tasked solely with mapping out the hive's interior.

A TSF near the exit would escape to the surface as those further in the hive reach deeper checkpoints to ensure that the acquired data is relayed to the Command Post,  
so in the event that the operation ends in failure,  
future infiltrations would have a better chance at success with the enhanced intel.

In this way—no infiltration would be in vain.

Once we get Sumika close enough to the one in Sadogashima,  
she'd be able to map the entire BETA hive network,  
removing the need for future recon missions.

The A-01 Wing—and the Imperial and Mainland Forces...  
They say they failed the operation?  
If that were the case, then how are we here today?

Admittedly, I have zero knowledge of the history of Yokohama Hive's recovery.  
Or at least, of the inner workings of Operation Lucifer.

However,

 **(Takeru)  
** Ryuu has a point...  
This sounds like classified information,

As much as I would like to satisfy my curiosity  
and find out about the demons that haunt Takahashi, Ryuu and Cookie,  
it feels like this revelation shouldn't be privy to someone in my rank,  
and Takahashi must be aware of that.

Or maybe it is I who is afraid...

Afraid that a bond is forming between us—a bond that shouldn't exist...

I don't need any more bonds–

 **(Kukiko)  
** Get over it, Takeru-chan!  
If aniki says it's fine to share this info,  
then it's fine to share this info!  
His word is as good as the XO's.

As good as the XO's?  
As good as Yuuko-sensei's?

 **(Takeru)  
** How so?

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** There was a time when aniki had more authority than the XO,  
and besides, they share a... _'confidential'_... history... with each other–

Is he perhaps referring to Takahashi's previous rank as a Colonel?

But that was a position in the Imperial Guard's army,  
so it should have no bearing on the UN's Alternative outfit–

 **(Takahashi)  
** Hey hey hey now, Ryuu.  
I just saved you from Kuki,  
yet here you are, so quick to sell me–

 **(Kukiko)**  
The XO used to pine for aniki when she was but a wee university grad student.  
She literally chased him down until he _'joined'_ her.  
Who can resist the Colonel of the Royal Guard?  
Of the 19th Brigade, no less!  
They were well-known as the cream of the crop!

 **(Takahashi)  
** Kuki... how could you?

 **(Kukiko)  
** I think your secret's still safe, aniki.  
This one is almost as dense as Taka-kun~.

This Takahashi—he's very different from the chauffeur I know back at home.

He hasn't lost his charm, and he has the aura of the same sense of duty as the other,  
but he's more laid back... less reserved... and even more personal than the one I remember.

I could come up with many reasons that may explain this divergence.

Times of war birth a significantly different class of characters than those born in times of peace.

I might be able to write a whole research paper based on this premise.

I mean, my grandfather, born during the era of world wars, was uptight, but appreciative of the little things in life,  
in contrast to me (or at least, the _old_ me), who was too laid back and took everything for granted.  
I have to emphasize— _old_ me, because lately, I've been looking at the world with a different set of eyes...

How did it go exactly?

Grandfather would always say this same quote every time he caught me idling around the house  
(he absolutely disliked finding me playing with my Game Guy instead of doing homework).

It went something like:

 _'Hard times create strong people,  
and strong people create good times.  
Good times create weak people,  
and weak people create hard times.'_

I hated every second he scolded me for being my happy-go-lucky self,  
but I see now that he was just trying to make me a strong person,  
exactly for hard times like these...

It's my turn to create the good times...

...

 _*sigh*_

Who am I kidding? I suck at writing—even little sticky notes, let alone a full research paper.

So instead, I'll just try to describe my own personal observations,  
isolated to my own personal circumstances.

Everyone's counterparts in this world are still the same characters.

Looks, speech patterns, gestures—they all match across both worlds.

However, while they do retain the core of their personality,  
their outlook of life will vary.

Like Meiya, for example.

She's still the Meiya I know—no doubt about that.  
But the extravagant heiress, Mitsurugi Meiya, the one oblivious to the ways of the common folk,  
is replaced by a Mitsurugi Meiya that only thinks of the common folk.

The same can be said for Class Rep, Ayamine, Tama, Mikoto, and even Sumika.

It wouldn't be too farfetched to say the same for Takahashi...

Yet another factor that may justify this Takahashi's behaviour would be... them...

At home, I don't recall ever running into anyone who remotely resembles Cookie and Ryuu,  
so it may be that this Takahashi has been influenced by these two.

And these two... are... very... influencing...

 **(Takahashi)  
** Hey—Shirogane, is something the matter?

 _Ahh_ —I've been staring into space without saying anything for too long.

 **(Takeru)**  
You're a lot different from my initial impressions...

He laughs softly, and smiles at me.

Definitely different.

 **(Takahashi)**  
In a good way or bad?

 **(Takeru)**  
A good way, I guess?  
You're more approachable than you look–

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Approachable? What the hell?  
Didn't you hear how anal he was in the simulation?  
 _'Ryuu, turn 11.4 degrees to your left,'_  
and _'Kuki, you're flying 26 centimetres too high_ – _'_

 **(Takahashi)  
** Careful now,  
I sound nothing like that–

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Maybe I didn't nail your voice,  
but those were your _exact_ words, Aniki.

 _Hmm_.

I've been giving Ryuu the benefit of the doubt,  
but since it seems to persist:

What's with Ryuu's language?

He's very—vulgar.  
His word choices can be quite profane...

 **(Kukiko)  
** Of course Takeru-chan didn't hear us.  
You can't hear if you aren't listening, after all.  
But seriously—I can't believe you didn't hear him, Takeru-chan.  
I'm actually surprised he didn't start backseat piloting you too!  
He does it to us _every_ time!

Yeah—I wasn't listening...  
It just caught me off guard when I found out that the hive was Yokohama Base.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** _Oooh_ —smart idea, 13.  
Next time I'll ' _forget_ ' to listen, too.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Count me in!  
Aniki turns into a real ass when he wears his Eishi game face.  
We should all pretend that his microphone broke or something–

It's not as pronounced as Ryuu,  
but Cookie can be vulgar too.

And all their talk of _aniki_ , and _anego_ —that's all gang slang.  
Why do they sound like that?

 **(Takahashi)**  
You guys are killing me...

The three of them laugh lightly at one other.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Come on now,  
do you not know how to laugh, Takeru-chan?

 _Khh_ –

She's dragging me into their merriments.

It's not that I'm intentionally excluding myself,  
it's that... I've forgotten... how...

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I do... it's just...  
These demons you speak of...  
I'd like to hear about them.

They said it's alright for me to know, and they insisted, so...  
I want to find out... if these demons... are the same as my own...

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _Ahh_. Why of course, of course.  
Ryuu and Kuki keep going off on tangents–

He glares at them accusingly.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Is it _really_ alright to tell him this, Aniki?  
What makes 13 so special that you think it's okay to bypass the XO like this?

Takahashi then looks at me before answering Ryuu,

 **(Takahashi)**  
I believe Shirogane is a lot more than meets the eye.

Does... he know?

I'm—confused...  
Though not as confused when compared to Cookie and Ryuu.

Instead of asking Takahashi to explain himself,  
their lips remain sealed.

As silence engulfs our dark little company of four,  
Takahashi recounts the events of two years past.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Operation Lucifer was a catastrophe right from the get-go.  
All available intel pointed to Objective 22 being a Phase 2 Hive,  
but when we arrived, the damn thing was already at Phase 4, close to Phase 5.  
Squadrons Halcyon and Felldusk—we lost them on the dive from orbit.  
Col. Teiichi of the Halcyon squad perished before the assault even began.  
Many more from the Mainland Forces were wiped out in the descent.

 **(Takeru)**  
Laser classes...

A Phase 2 Hive would've made for a less difficult infiltration,  
as its defenses are not as vast as the deeper, larger hives.  
And... the leading upgrade between a Phase 2 and a Phase 4 Hive  
is the mining of G-elements, and thus, the presence of–

Laser classes.

The bane of every TSF pilot.

And a TSF dropping from orbit is like a sitting duck for Laser classes to shoot at.

Halcyon and Felldusk...  
DOA...  
Dead On Arrival...

I know the feeling... the helplessness... of being shot at... during atmospheric re-entry,  
knowing there's nothing you can do as you fall to your doom.

In fact—I experienced exactly that.

When the Susanoo was dropped during Operation Ouka,  
we were targeted heavily as soon as we breached the ionosphere.

Even with the Rutherford fields, the Susanoo can only withstand so much laser damage,  
and we were hit with concentrated _Heavy_ lasers...

Evasion was not an option,  
or else we'd end up away from our target landing zone,  
making us susceptible to even more attacks, and not just from Laser classes.

I saw the red of the lasers blasting on our shields...  
I saw Sumika's energy drain to near empty...  
I remember feeling the intense heat it created in the cockpit of the Susanoo...

I thought we were done for—and we didn't even arrive in the field of battle yet...

In the midst of all the turmoil, one voice calmed us all.

The Captain of the Yuunagi Squadron—he encouraged us to stay on course,  
as he directed his aircrafts between the Susanoo and the laser barrage.

The rest of the four Squadrons from the 3rd Fleet followed his lead;  
every ship acted as human shields for us.

They all offered their lives... entrusted everything into our hands...  
just so the Susanoo could land without sustaining irreparable damage...

That Captain... of Yuunagi... of the 2nd Squadron...  
was none other than–

Ichimonji Takahashi.

How did Takahashi end up in the 3rd Fleet from here?  
At what point was he reassigned?

I have yet to learn anything about him in this loop.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Yes—their appearance on the battlefield was unprecedented...  
and it cost us the lives of many.  
These here sakura trees... are the final resting grounds of thousands of the allied Forces,  
and of Squadrons 1 and 3...

This place?

I turn my eyes to look at all the leafless trees surrounding us,  
especially the one that I have a personal attachment to.

So that's where the rumours first came from.  
This place truly was a graveyard before we decided to add our own fallen.

 **(Takeru)**  
I heard... rumours... that sound like that...

I never understood the substance of those rumours;  
I do now.

We used to say that amongst ourselves,  
that these trees cannot flower because of the souls buried underneath.

It's a shame...

Why is Cookie even bothering with watering this tree?  
It's winter, so it's pointless—and spring is a long time away.

 **(Takahashi)**  
The rest of us made it in,  
but still with heavy casualties.  
Every Squadron of A-01 was accompanied by a Battalion of the Eastern Forces.  
Our main objective was to survive, observe, and secure,  
as Ryuu pointed out.

 **(Kukiko)**  
We got as deep as what is now the 19th Floor in the basement.

 **(Takeru)**  
That's... the... XO's office?

I almost said Yuuko-sensei.

 **(Kukiko)**  
You bet! And Kasumi-chan's quarters!

 _Ah_. So they know Kasumi.  
Never mind—why wouldn't they?

 **(Takahashi)**  
To be more specific, _we_ didn't make it that far.  
Squadrons Valour, Centuri and Spartan made it nearest to the reactor,  
with Hellfyre on their tail.  
Dellingr was closer to the surface, farther down the comms chain,  
followed by Ironhart, and finally,  
the Camelot Knights, Michiru's Squadron 9, was our connection to the outside world.

 **(Takeru)**  
Michiru was there too...

 **(Takahashi)  
** _Mm-hmm_ , she was.

Takahashi nods.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Excluding Second Lt. Kazama Touko and the new 207-As,  
everyone you met earlier took part in that infiltration.  
In fact—I believe Operation Lucifer was Misae-san's very first mission.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Talk about a crash course in warfare—literally.

 **(Kukiko)**  
You could also call it her maiden voyage,  
so (Operation) Lucifer, the devil himself, stole her virginity~.

I decide it best to overlook their perverse attempt at humour.

 **(Takeru)**  
And what about you two?  
Was that your first mission as well?

In response, they laugh at me instead.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Do we look like novices to you?  
We'll have you know that we've been here longer than Anego and Mum,  
and even Isumi-senpai if you count our time with Aniki in the–

 **(Takahashi)**  
That's enough about you, Kuki.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Eh_? But he asked me–

 **(Takahashi)**  
Save it for another day.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Hmph_. What'd I tell you, Takeru-chan?  
Such a hard-ass, isn't he?

There is no correct answer to Cookie's question,  
as saying one thing would offend the other person.

I'll ignore it instead—this would be the right (or should I say safe?) answer.

 **(Takeru)**  
What happened after that?

Cookie sighs at my blatant dodging; she replies nonetheless.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Everything happened.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Everything that could go wrong, did.

 **(Takahashi)**  
The data link between squadrons fell apart.  
Our contact with the outside world was all up to Michiru and her squad,  
but without the data link, each squadron in possession of the hive intel had to physically pass it along our communications chain.

How can several misfortunes strike all at once?

Had the data link still stayed intact,  
only the TSF closest to the exit would have to escape and pass along the hive map to the Command Post.

However, it being dysfunctional, they'd have to pass on the intel manually,  
from squadron to squadron,  
from Eishi to Eishi,  
until it finally reaches the TSF at the exit.

Like a game of message relay.  
Except in this game, the mission is the prize,  
and failure means the end,  
seeing that the entire Special Task Force was in this infiltration.

Yuuko-sensei played her whole hand on this mission.

 **(Takahashi)**  
We already lost our commanding officer,  
so without our comms system, pandemonium ensued.  
Those deeper into the drift weren't sure if they had to go even deeper or retreat.  
Valour moved onwards, together with their allied Forces,  
while Centuri and Spartan held their grounds in the West and South entrances.  
Us in Dellingr decided to march forward, but during our advance,  
we ran into Second Lt. Oikura, Hellfyre-06, on his way out.  
He had the latest mapping from Valour;  
 _'They're two tiers away from the reactor,'_ he told us,  
before passing us the intel and returning to his squadron.  
Second Lt. Taira Shinji, Dellingr-09—  
I ordered him to escape and deliver the data to Ironhart,  
so that they may deliver it to the Knights,  
and they may make contact with HQ.

Ryuu stirs restlessly at the spot where he's squatting.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Then Takayuki had to fuck everything up.

The white of Ryuu's teeth reflects the moon's light,  
now unobstructed by the clouds,  
revealing the clenching of his jawline.

His right palm is closed,  
dirt and soil seeping out of its fist,  
while the other hand rubs his neck underneath the scarf.

 **(Takeru)**  
What did... Takayuki... do?

 **(Takahashi)**  
You must understand, Shirogane,  
that the mission of A-01 was intel and survival.  
Ergo—our allies from the Far East Defense Line performed the bulk of the fighting inside.  
Some of ours, like Centuri and Spartan, readily joined in the fray to assist our allies,  
and for that, they lost their numbers too heavily.  
Valour and Hellfyre made it all the way to just outside the Main Hallway.  
You know where it is—you ran into it in the simulation.  
Those of us in Dellingr never engaged the BETA in combat unless it was absolutely necessary.

 **(Kukiko)**  
–as per the orders of aniki.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
–Aniki commanded us all to stand down,  
even when our allies in the 36th Battalion were dropping around us like flies.

 **(Takahashi)**  
In hindsight, it is easy to blame me for following orders too strictly.

No—you can't blame yourself.  
I can only imagine how wearisome it was to make that decision.

 **(Takeru)**  
I don't believe anyone should blame you.  
It sounds like Valour and Hellfyre made it all the way because they did the same thing.  
You made the decision that you thought was best, Takahashi.

However—if I had been there,  
I don't think I could've sat back and do nothing,  
while everyone around me was dying...

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _*chuckles*_  
I appreciate the words, Shirogane.  
But keep it to yourself.  
This whole calamity is behind me.

 _Ah_.

This is what it must be like to be a real adult...  
What I'm trying to grow into...

 **(Takahashi)**  
Dellingr-08, Second Lt. Narumi Takayuki, _disobeyed_ my standing order.  
When the last remaining Eishis of the 36th were backed up to a corner,  
Takayuki lost it and broke our formation.  
And Shinji—he disregarded his orders upon noticing,  
to come back and help out his friend Takayuki.

I... fucking... knew it...

I probably would've done the same thing,  
but—hearing about it from this end... has a world of difference...  
and the consequences are way more apparent...

In his heart, I'm sure he only wanted to do what was right,  
but is he really in the right when he's putting the lives of his squadmates in danger?  
When the entire operation is on the line?

Is this what _I_ put the others through?  
What I put Meiya through,  
when she had to stay behind for me,  
when we were supposed to retreat during the surprise BETA attack amid the XM3 trials?

Have I been so insensitive this entire time?

This is... eye-opening...

Actually—what about the others?  
Or was it just Shinji and Takayuki?

 **(Takeru)**  
Did the rest of Dellingr help them?

 **(Takahashi)**  
. . .

 **(Kukiko)**  
. . .

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
. . .

 _Huh_? Why isn't anyone answering?

 **(Takahashi)**  
I... I ordered everyone... _everyone_... to stand down–

But Cookie interrupts him,

 **(Kukiko)**  
Oh—our radios came back online!

 **(Takahashi)**  
T–that's right. We received word from the Command Post.  
We were told to evacuate, _posthaste_.  
Five minutes, was all we were given.

 _Hmmm_...

 **(Takeru)**  
Evacuate? The entire hive?

In five minutes?  
That's not enough time to evacuate a whole army; even _I_ know that.  
Or else what happens if they don't?

 **(Takahashi)**  
Yes. I later learned that it was because they didn't hear from us for too long a time,  
and so they assumed the worst.  
In an emergency council, the US convinced the UN and Japanese Forces to use G-bombs to eradicate the hive completely.

 **(Takeru)**  
But—weren't they worried the reactor would be destroyed?

 **(Takahashi)  
** It didn't matter, Shirogane.  
Securing the reactor was a goal supported only by Yuuko and a minor few.  
The existence of the hive was an imminent threat to the mainland,  
thus—the government of Japan no longer cared if the G-bombs destroyed the reactor,  
so long as the hive was erased with it.

 _'Everything that could go wrong... did...'_

Shinji—why didn't you just pass on the damn intel data like you were ordered to?

If only the Command Post regained contact with the infiltration units,  
they wouldn't have resorted to the G-bombs...

Takayuki... why?

Would I have done the same thing?  
I don't know...

No–

Takeru—the correct answer is _'No, I wouldn't have done the same thing'._

 **(Takeru)**  
G-bombs. That's—too excessive...

This entire desolation in front of me is the aftermath of those G-bombs.

 **(Takahashi)**  
I wasn't sure how far the comms system was reaching,  
but we still had Valour, Centuri, Spartan and Hellfyre in the hive.  
I split up Dellingr into five Elements to relay the evacuation order,  
while Ryuu... I left him to bring back Takayuki and Shinji.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Tsss_.

He scowls.

I shouldn't pressure Ryuu.

I know that he wasn't able to fulfill that mission,  
or else Shinji and Takayuki would still be alive.

And because he wasn't able to bring them back with him,  
is perhaps the very reason Mitsuki blames them for their demise.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
He was a fucking idiot.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Eh_?

Why the hostility all of a sudden?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Takayuki... and Shinji...  
None of them could hear me...  
They were both too consumed with their White-Knight theology.  
So I had to desert them–

You... deserted... your own allies?

 _Khhhhhh_ –!  
My pulse just started beating faster,  
and my teeth are gnashing,  
my chest—tightening,  
my fists, shaking...

Time slows in my head as the utter cowardice that I just heard sinks in.

I can't believe this... deplorable... excuse... of a human being.

I was beginning to respect him, too,  
for having survived throughout this hell of a world.

This must be his way of life,  
that he would save himself and freely abandon his allies.

I'm sorry, Cookie,  
but this is not the same love for Life I thought you were talking about.

No—I'm fighting to save myself because I _have_ to...

But Ryuu... he's fighting for his self... for his own life...  
That is the _very_ definition of selfishness.  
I don't want to associate myself with someone this ruthless–

 **(Kukiko)**  
Shirogane! Let him go!

 _Huh_? I...  
I'm holding Ryuu up by the collar, up against the tree that was just beside us.

Takahashi has a grip on my shoulder, but he hasn't made any other move just yet.  
And Cookie... she's repeatedly demanding that I put her brother down.

When did I... do this?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
After _everything_ you said about how you're not here to be a hero,  
here you stand, defending your fellow wannabes.  
Too bad—I stupidly thought you were different.  
You look angry, White-Knight.  
Did I say something you don't like?

 _Khh_ –

Is he trying to provoke me?  
Even in his defenseless state?  
When I could so easily slam his head against this tree?  
When I could so easily smash that sneer off his face?

 **(Takeru)**  
Did you really... ditch...  
your brothers-in-arms?

No fucking wonder Mitsuki hates him.  
I see now, clear as day.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Hmph_. You said it yourself.  
Everybody knows that they were like brothers to me.  
Do I look like someone who'd abandon his own brothers?

 **(Takeru)**  
You tell me!

 _Ghhh_ –!  
Unable to contain my fury,  
I press him harder against the dead sakura tree.

Although his feet are only a few inches off the ground,  
both of his hands are on each of my wrists,  
holding himself up so that he could still breathe easy.

His scarf, cloaking his neck from view,  
flaps around us—blown in the weak breeze,  
and sometimes flicking me in my face.

This guy...

In a contest of physical strength, I clearly have the upper hand,  
even after taking into account his slight advantage in height.

Sure, it can be said that the contest won't be fair,  
because I do have the benefit of thousands of years of muscle and muscle memory.

However—even with all that,  
Ryuu is unperturbed. His face shows no emotion,  
not even that of discomfort.

Why isn't he showing any signs of defending himself?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Shirogane, let—my—brother—go!

 _*SLAP*_

A stinging tingle in my left cheek pulls me out of my trance.

Twice now, in a short gap of time, has my left cheek felt this sting.

Out of regard for Cookie, and the pain she dealt on me,  
I finally let Ryuu drop to the ground,  
and Takahashi's hold on my shoulder goes away with it.

My emotions... got the better of me...

For this instance, however,  
I feel no remorse.

Why should I, when Ryuu doesn't look any more contrite than I?

He's not even hurt,  
he looks more annoyed for having to brush the dirt off his back.

 _*slap*_

I hear the same sound one more time—though it isn't quite as loud, nor as near.  
This means, the second slap was inflicted on someone other than me.

Ryuu... is scratching his left cheek...

 **(Kukiko)**  
Just stop talking—stop talking.  
Why? Why do you have to say it that way?  
If you don't want to say the truth, why say anything at all?  
Are you _trying_ to make him hate you?  
Is it so satisfying to turn everyone against you?

Cookie chastises Ryuu...  
but I feel like she should be scolding me...

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I only wanted to see his reaction, that's all.  
And now I know. He's dangerous to fight beside, Nee-chan.  
I don't want to get myself killed because of another Shinji and Takayuki...  
Another White-Knight wannabe...

Ryuu starts walking downhill,  
probably to crawl back into the cowardly hole he was hiding in earlier.

Takahashi is shaking his head;  
I'm not sure what it is he's disappointed at.

Cookie looks downcast.  
It's the first time I've seen her without a grin (or a sly look) on her face.

It shouldn't be surprising—if I had a sibling,  
I'd be just as upset if someone bullied them the way I bullied her brother.

 **(Takeru)**  
Cookie, I...  
I got carried away–

She raises an open palm at me,  
the universal sign language for stop, or silence.

 **(Kukiko)**  
That's... alright... Shirogane...  
Nothing's changed.  
I know you didn't really want to hurt Ryuu...

 _'Shirogane...'_

I've been demoted.

To start with, I haven't done anything to earn a high stature in Cookie's hierarchy of friends.  
So—I shouldn't care about the downgrade.

Keyword being... ' _shouldn't'_...

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh_? What do you mean?  
Were you not watching when I threatened him?

Cookie points to Takahashi,  
so I look at him accordingly.

He sighs deeply, then says,

 **(Takahashi)**  
Your eyes...  
Had I seen the first sign of danger,  
I would've taken you out faster than you can blink.

 **(Takeru)**  
Is... that so?  
Then why didn't you?

 **(Takahashi)**  
I was waiting for the 'sign of danger'.  
You had a tight grip on him, and your stance was aggressive.  
But your eyes—I know that look in your eyes...

 **(Takeru)**  
My... eyes?

 **(Takahashi)**  
You don't have the eyes of a soldier, Shirogane.  
You have the eyes... of a teenager...  
Your eyes are the eyes of anguish, of pain;  
not the ones of rage, as you would have me believe.  
No—you had no intention of hurting Ryuu,  
I don't think you have it in you to hurt another person.  
Despite what he said, your fight is not with him, but with human nature,  
and only a teenager would be so naive to take on such an enemy.

I don't have the eyes of a soldier?  
But—I _am_ a soldier.  
I _have to be_ a soldier.

Is there any truth in what Takahashi is saying?

I do feel mad at Ryuu.  
What he did... or what he claims to have done... is shameful to the ninth circle of hell.

Why would Takahashi say that my fight is with human nature?

Is it human nature to forsake one's friends?  
It isn't.

Takahashi doesn't know what he's talking about.

To think that he's standing up for Ryuu—it's pissing me off.

 **(Takeru)**  
What makes you say that I'm up against human nature?  
Make no mistake, Takahashi—I detest Ryuu's decision to abandon his friends,  
and you should too–

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _Ahh—_ but is it really Ryuu you detest,  
or the nature of humans to seek relief when faced with extreme discomfort?

To find... relief? For discomfort?

 **(Takahashi)**  
As humans, we are weak,  
if you'd like to call that a weakness.  
When placed under great pain and stress,  
we tend to do things just to get rid of the pain.

I rub my left cheek to console the still-tingling dregs of Cookie's slap,  
somewhat proving Takahashi's case.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Sometimes—the things we do are unspeakable.  
Yet, we still do them anyway, as long as it means freeing ourselves from the pain.

He's implying that Ryuu was under some form of affliction,  
yet I sensed nothing of the sort when Ryuu divulged the events that took place–

 **(Takahashi)**  
You don't know what exactly happened to Ryuu.  
He hasn't told you, and Kuki and I have no right to tell you what really happened.  
But if I may pose you a question, Shirogane,  
suppose you were tied to a burning stake,  
or if you were trapped in a room with the walls caving in,  
crushing you to death,  
would you not have the desire—the longing—to stop your agony?  
In your final moments,  
would you not do, or give up, _anything_ , and _everything_ ,  
just to put it to an end?

My stomach churns, imagining Takahashi's scenarios,  
both depicting a slow, excruciating death.

 **(Takeru)**  
You might be right, in that I'd _wish_ for it to end,  
but I would much sooner bear the pain myself,  
rather than surrender the lives of my friends.

I am nothing like Ryuu–

 **(Takahashi)**  
That you probably would, judging by your outward personality.  
However—I propose that _even you_ can only tolerate so much of it.  
And if you do decide to bear it until the very end,  
I venture that, with your dying breath, you'd feel a slight sense of regret,  
for not giving up what you could have.

...

...

...

Hypocrisy, thy name is Shirogane...

I am condemning Ryuu for doing what he did,  
 _but am I not doing the same in this loop?_

Have I not decided that my friends have to die to accomplish my goal,  
my goal of coming out of this alive?

Ryuu deserted his friends...  
One can argue that I am killing mine myself...  
Who exactly is committing the more heinous crime?

I'm only human—it's in my nature...  
I can't forever recycle myself and endure _all_ of this misery  
just because I am afraid to give up what is most precious to Shirogane...

I've tolerated as much as I can...

I am at the brink in my waning existence where I would do anything,  
 _everything_ ,  
to put it to an end...

Ryuu...

What kind of suffering did he have to go through,  
for Takahashi to so vehemently defend his actions of yesteryear?  
I won't get that answer from Takahashi, nor from Cookie...

This world's Takahashi—how can he arrive at this insight,  
just by looking at my eyes?

 **(Takeru)**  
You can tell all this... simply through my eyes?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Aniki is very astute when it comes to matters of the spirit...  
He says that's how he found us...  
the first time we met...

I turn back to Cookie,  
only because her voice is different.

Her arms are crossed—a subliminal posture for keeping others at a distance.

The cheery, animate voice is absent,  
and in its place, is one more solemn–

 **(Kukiko)**  
Anyway—I'm sure Ryuu will tell you the truth someday.  
Who knows? Maybe we'll need your help getting Anego back on our side!

 _Ah_ , it's... not lost...  
Thank goodness...

 **(Kukiko)**  
I'll go get Ryuu,  
I think we'll snooze in the barracks tonight.  
Later, aniki!

On the spur of the moment,  
she disappears in the same direction as where Ryuu went to.

She didn't even say goodbye to me,  
and I didn't say goodbye to her.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Looks like they'll brave it out on top of the hill.  
 _*chuckles*_

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm sorry, by the way,  
Takahashi.

He must think me barbaric, after what I almost did–

 **(Takahashi)**  
Don't be. I've met my fair share of people like you.  
It's not a unique temperament, believe it or not.

I... I'm not sure if I should find solace in that...

 **(Takahashi)**  
But I hope this hasn't fouled your opinion of Ryuu.  
Can I count on you to not treat him any differently, Shirogane?

What? What a ridiculous request.  
I can't even bear to look at Ryuu after this.

How can Takahashi ask that like nothing happened?  
The air was filled with malice not five minutes ago.

 **(Takeru)**  
I can't be acquainted with one who easily deserts his friends.

The worst part of all this is,  
Takahashi held a mirror up to my face...

 **(Takahashi)**  
Shirogane—can I count on you to not treat him any differently,  
 _at least until you hear the entire story_?

The entire story? What difference would it make?  
I've heard the climax and conclusion of Ryuu's story.  
Why waste my time waiting for the plot?

It's not worth the time and effort–

 **(Takahashi)**  
As a favour to me and Cookie.  
As a favour, to the _'me'_ that you know.

 _Ah_.

He does see them...  
The glimpses of my home world...

 **(Takeru)**  
I'll... think about it, Takahashi...

I'll think about it—as my form of apology...  
I'm not innocent in all this either.

On impulse, I acted foolhardy.

If I lost myself for even a millisecond, I could've injured Ryuu terribly,  
and Takahashi wouldn't be fast enough to stop me,  
even though he claims he could do so.

As much as I hate to admit,  
Ryuu was right on one point.

Narumi Takayuki's impulsive nature cost them Operation Lucifer.

I have to get mine under control,  
for fear that I might do the same... one of these days...

Marimo-chan already lost her life because of a fleeting moment of my weakness...  
A moment where my overreaching emotions blurred my common sense...

I can't keep making the same mistakes,  
or else I'd never grow up,  
or else I'd never arrive at the end...

 **(Takeru)**  
Hey, Takahashi... why... didn't you stop me,  
during our simulation?  
I wasn't listening... I wasn't thinking...

Just like Takayuki and Shinji...

Wouldn't he want to correct his mistake?

If he could do it all over again,  
wouldn't he want to knock some more sense into them?

He should've been doing that to me—yet, he did nothing.  
Instead, he even altered the plans to work around me.

Without thinking twice, Takahashi convincingly replies,

 **(Takahashi)**  
The decision I made that day used to keep me up at night.  
Did I make the right call? Was there a better call to make?  
Would they still be alive if I disobeyed my orders, for once in my life,  
if it meant saving my allies?  
Maybe they'd still be alive today, or maybe we'd all be dead.  
Point being, Shirogane—that I try not to dwell in the land of what-could've-beens.  
I have no power over the past, but I do have the power to better the future,  
and now, I'm trying to see if it's alright to defy my orders once in a while,  
and take chances on people like you—people who want to do what is right.  
And you just showed me that it's not so bad to take those chances.

That's the kind of admirable response _I_ should be making...

 **(Takeru)**  
But I–

 **(Takahashi)  
** However—this goes both ways, Shirogane.  
You're doing no one any favours by playing rogue on your allies.  
I believe I've earned the rights to your respect, so, heed my advice:  
communicate with us more often from here on out,  
so that whatever we do, we all do together.  
If you think we should go the other way—  
you have a voice, do you not?  
Use it.  
We'll listen and hear it out,  
and either we all go, or nobody goes.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _'No man or woman left behind.'_

I think I understand now. Their motto—that is.

This probably also explains why Takahashi is in the rear guard,  
to ensure that motto is followed through.

 **(Takahashi)  
** Indeed...  
Ever since that day...

Takahashi pauses.

It would've been a pause of silence,  
if not for the sound of our breathing.

The first rays of daylight are slowly peeking on the edge of the horizon.

It's weird how quickly time passes by when you aren't paying it any attention...

I didn't intend to sleep when I planned to stop by this place.  
I can't sleep as long as I keep seeing the nightmares.

I was looking for a distraction,  
and I've been able to find just that by visiting my friends' grave.

The presence of Takahashi and Ryuu and Cookie was unexpected, but... much invited...

In this chance meeting, I've been able to obtain something better than sleep.

Cookie put my mind at ease,  
now that I can save myself without thinking that I'm committing a grave sin.

Takahashi helped me feel more human,  
by making me realize that it's in our nature to seek reprieve...

And Ryuu...

What the hell... is Ryuu's story?  
I shouldn't care about it...

 _Keyword... 'shouldn't'..._

 **(Takahashi)**  
You know,

Takahashi disrupts my momentary relief.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Only my Element from Dellingr, along with Ryuu, Kuki, and the now-deceased Nagamichi,  
made it out of the hive.  
Our fifth Element perished at Hellfyre's side, overtaken by a massive swarm.  
I never heard back from third and fourth Elements,  
those who searched for Centuri and Spartan.  
It was I who found them, in fact.  
Or rather—I should say that I found the corpses of Centuri and Spartan,  
sprawled over the entryway to the Main Hall, where they took their last stand,  
holding the line for Valour to secure the reactor.  
And when I entered the Main Hall—I found First Lt. Shigefumi,  
the only surviving Valour...

 **(Takeru)**  
You did? And?  
Why didn't you call off the G-bombs?  
You and Shigefumi?

They secured the reactor—wasn't the mission a success, then?

 **(Takahashi)  
** He never recovered his comms system,  
and I lost mine again as I got that deep in the hive.  
But—even if our radios were working, we were too... preoccupied...  
We wouldn't have had the time to pass the message through our recon chain  
within the evacuation window.

 **(Takeru)**  
Preoccupied? But why–?

 **(Takahashi)  
** You know well the reason why.  
Even you were stunned when we arrived, back in the simulation.  
I saw the very same thing you saw inside the Main Hall.  
All those pillars—and the human nervous systems inside them...  
How could anyone come across that scene and not feel sick to their stomach?

 **(Takeru)  
**. . .

 _God_...

 _The reactor was secured... Operation Lucifer would've been over..._

 _If Shinji just got the message out,  
HQ would've reestablished that the operation was still in effect,_  
 _and the G-bombs wouldn't have needed to be deployed._

 _If only Takayuki swallowed the 36th Battalion's sacrifice,_  
 _Shinji wouldn't have had to come back and help him._

 _The difference a few minutes_ — _or a simple action_ — _could've made...  
The consequences were... tremendous..._

 _..._

 _'Everything that could go wrong... did...'_

I somehow understand why Ryuu blames Takayuki,  
but I _cannot_ accept that he deserted them...

 **(Takahashi)**  
So—we hightailed it out of there.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Ah_. You both made it out alive.  
That's... good...  
Right?

Takahashi smiles weakly,  
I'm guessing he is near the end of this painful memory.

 **(Takahashi)**  
We did... but... not everyone did the same...  
The evacuation order—they didn't give us enough time to get everybody out...  
And not everyone's comms system was fully functional...

 **(Takeru)**  
? ? ?

 **(Takahashi)**  
The remnants of the entire Imperial Army and Mainland Forces' 9th Corps...  
As Shigefumi and I emerged out of Yokohama Hive and retreated...  
I saw the G-bomb in the air, falling on its way down into the Monument...  
And I heard tens of thousands of their voices,  
on my comms system and in my head,  
of soldiers and Eishis with whom I fought beside.  
Then, as the bomb dropped on the top of this hill,  
the voices in my head—they stopped all together.  
I couldn't hear anything for a while,  
just a high pitched, ringing sound, as the bombs made their impact,  
but as the dust from the second explosion settled,  
and I could finally see what was left of the hive,  
there was nothing. Only... fire... and ash...  
The voices—they came back... But, they weren't voices...  
They were cries... screams... and wails...  
Tens of thousands of lamentations came back to me all at once,  
and it was deafening... Their cries, to this day, are still deafening...  
I knew then, that what I saw was,  
beyond a shadow of a doubt,  
the incarnation... of Hell...

They couldn't evacuate everyone in time...

Thousands—dead... and not even by the BETA, no.  
Killed at the hands of their fellow human beings.

And today, they all rest among our surroundings...

Yokohama Base... is built atop a massive mausoleum...

 **(Takahashi)**  
These are the demons that haunt Yokohama Base, Shirogane.  
These are the demons in Ryuu, Kuki and me.

* * *

Takahashi stops talking after that,  
and I say nothing to follow,  
made speechless by the depravity of what Takahashi was participant to.

The dawn is breaking,  
which is ill-fitting for this dark mood.

I've heard enough tragedy to last me this day.

 **(Takeru)**  
When we were in the simulators...  
I wondered how the three of you walked into the Main Hallway without so much as pausing...

 _I_ knew what to expect before getting there,  
and I was _still_ stricken with grief.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Did we really? I guess it's become second nature at this point.  
Although—I'm not sure if it's an accomplishment I should be proud of.

 **(Takeru)**  
Is that so?

Has he become hardened to such grotesque sceneries?  
But—to feel nothing at all...  
To not be moved by the picture in that Main Hall...  
Can you still call yourself human?

What would I feel, I wonder,  
when it is time to watch Marimo-chan die once again?

 **(Takahashi)**  
From that day,  
we've run through that very same simulation we just did,  
countless, countless times, with everyone in A-01.

 _Ah_. So that's what he meant...

I misunderstood.

He isn't hardened to the scenery—rather, accustomed to it.  
Not that it's any better than the other case.  
They're both equally devastating, in my opinion.

Countless—times.  
Not just one countless, either. He said it twice in succession.

This must've also been why they were so familiar with the place.

But—redoing simulations won't erase their past mistakes...  
They're only reliving them...

And still...

They're facing their demons, finding a way to overcome them,  
while here I am, yet to throw the first strike at mine.

That is why they can walk through that Main Hallway so bravely,  
disheartening though it may be.

For someone like Takahashi, being able to do that may not be as incredible a feat.

After all, for a soldier to live as long as he has in this world,  
(I presume him to be around the same age group as Yuuko-sensei, 26 or 27 some years),  
is, in and of itself, already the most incredible feat in my eyes.

I imagine the average lifespan around here would be in the 20s,  
give or take two to three years.

What I'm driving at is this:  
that Cookie and Ryuu went through the exact same experience as Takahashi,  
and if I hold Michiru to her word, then the two of them have been in this war since they were 13.

All that considered—the incredible one is not Takahashi, but the Fukuis.

As much of a bastard Ryuu turned out to be,  
and Cookie, a character too wild and free,  
I can't deny that they exhibit a strength that I envy...

 _Nghh_ –  
I misspoke. 'Envy' isn't the right word.  
Envy is used to describe a want for something one does _not_ have,  
but I _do_ have the same strength.

I should say 'inspire' instead.  
Yeah—their own strength is... inspiring...

 **(Takahashi)  
** Shirogane,

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Hm_?

 **(Takahashi)  
** I know we just met,  
but if I may be straightforward with you,  
there is a favour I want to—no, _need_ to ask.

A favour?

That came out of the blue.

It's almost as if he never even told me the appalling story of Operation Lucifer,  
for him to casually segue the conversation in this direction.

What in the world would Takahashi want from me,  
and why would he ask _me_ ,  
when there should be more qualified people around?

 **(Takahashi)**  
I'll take your silence as a maybe,  
and a maybe is enough to admit your curiosity.  
What say you, Shirogane?

 _Ackh_ –  
I should've declined him right away.

Between the two of us and the delicate transition from night to day,  
with the tail of the moon to the front of me, and the apex of the rising sun behind,  
I can see Takahashi's face, and in it, an expression unabashed.

Whatever the favour is,  
it sounds like it's of utmost import to Takahashi.

My gut tells me I shouldn't be taking on any more burdens than I already have,  
but...

As long as it doesn't interfere with my goal,  
I can at the very least lend him my ears.

Slowly, I return to the other side of the street,  
back to my own sakura tree.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm listening,  
but this doesn't mean I'm taking on your favour.

 **(Takahashi)  
** Naturally,  
feel free to refuse if you choose not to.

Even though Takahashi is my superior officer,  
he's treating me like an equal.

Come to think of it—why did this Takahashi give up a title as prestigious as Colonel of the Imperial Guard?

If I understand his circumstances correctly,  
he gave it up for a position in STF A-01,  
for a lower rank of Captain.

And now, it's an even lower rung. First Lieutenant.

Ryuu did say something about how ranks mean nothing to them–

 **(Takahashi)**  
It is fortunate that someone like you has now found a place in Meiya-sama's squadron.

Meiya...sama?  
This world's Takahashi... is still loyal... to Meiya?

 **(Takahashi)  
** Shirogane—I hereby ask you for the protection of Meiya-sama's well-being.

N–no... It's an impossible favour...

 **(Takeru)**  
I can't help you, Takahashi...  
I cannot guarantee you Meiya's life–

 **(Takahashi)**  
Who said anything about keeping her alive, Shirogane?  
We all have to die one day; I wouldn't ask you for something beyond your reach.  
No—I merely ask that you stay by her side.

Stay by her side?  
How bizarre—the way he phrased it, I mean.

If I interpret his request in the most literal of ways,  
I already have to be near Meiya to pass along her causality information,  
so—in a sense, Takahashi's request is moot.

To approach this literally is not the approach I should take;  
surely there lies a figurative meaning to Takahashi's request.

 **(Takeru)**  
What good will come out of that?  
What do you expect me to accomplish by 'merely' staying at her side?

 **(Takahashi)  
** Let me put this way—  
whether you decide to protect Meiya-sama or not,  
I believe Shirogane will know what to do when the hour arrives.

Takahashi...

He haphazardly disguised his nuance in cunning fashion...

So that's why he phrased it the way he did.

He says he isn't expecting me to protect Meiya,  
yet he expects me to do _something_ 'when the hour arrives'.

What a weak bluff...

His concern for Meiya is... mystifying...  
Perhaps Takahashi may have never left the Imperial Royal Guard after all...

Nevertheless—

It's not happening, Takahashi.

Whatever it is you think I'll do if I stay at Meiya's side.

It's...  
not.

...

...

But how do I refuse him in the most respectful means?  
I can't simply decry his request, considering how significant this is to him.

 **(Takeru)  
** Takahashi–

 **(Takahashi)**  
Obviously, I won't ask this of you without compensation.  
Quid pro quo, Shirogane.  
If there is anything you want to ask of me,  
then on my honour, I'll oblige you in kind.

 _Tsk_ –

It's difficult to get a word in against him.  
He's completely taken over the conversation.

I'm not even given the space to refuse his self-established bargain.

 **(Takeru)  
** How kind of you to offer me something in return,

I reply sarcastically.

Now I remember.

Even the original Takahashi had this mildly annoying presence;  
there was something patronizing about his manner of speech, too.

 **(Takahashi)  
** Why of course.  
I cannot be indebted so soon after meeting you.  
No—I am humbly offering a reward in return for my favour.

 _Ngh_...  
My sarcasm is lost on him.

 _*sigh*_

Whatever...

I already spend a lot of time around Meiya anyway.  
Might as well pretend that I'm doing him a favour,  
seeing that 'No' is not an answer he will accept.

 **(Takeru)  
** I can probably do something this simple.  
But—I'm not making any promises, Takahashi.

 _'Don't expect anything,'_  
is what I really wanted to say.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Shake on it.

In three—actually, five strides,  
he relocates himself to my side of the pathway.

As he arrives in front of me,  
he extends his palm, inviting me to take his hand.

 _What am I doing..._

I'm only setting him up for disappointment.

Meiya's fate—is already sealed.

But I see no other way to get him off of this case,  
short of just telling him the truth outright.

I made it clear earlier that I'm not here to save anybody.  
Does he not... believe me?

So—with a (very) reluctant heave,  
I stand up and return his firm handshake.

This handshake feels more like a transmission of burdens from one man to another,  
rather than the formation of a contract that this was supposed to be.

Takahashi looks relieved.

My heart, on the other hand, feels a few pounds heavier...

 **(Takeru)  
** What else do you want?

I grumble, a tad too rudely,  
as I watch Takahashi's unmoving figure even after we dropped the handshake.

 **(Takahashi)  
** Your favour, Shirogane.

Oh.

He wants to know my end of the bargain.

 **(Takeru)**  
There's nothing you can really do for me,

–other than survive, and use yourself as a shield for the Susanoo...

This is something he'd be doing even without my intervention, however.

In honesty, I truly can't think of anything to ask from Takahashi.

But—unless I come up with something,  
I think that he'll keep standing there until his debt is settled.

That would be a becoming characterization of Takahashi.

 **(Takeru)**  
Tell me how you came across Cookie and Ryuu.

I blurt out the first trifling idea that I could think of.

 **(Takeru)**  
Capt. Isumi mentioned in passing that you trained them yourself,  
so it piqued my curiosity,

I further add upon noticing Takahashi's shocked expression.

 **(Takahashi)**  
You could've asked me for any number of things,  
yet you ask for something so... ordinary?  
Are you thinking straight, Shirogane?  
It might be in your best interest to return to this later,  
we could always come back when you think of something better–

 **(Takeru)**  
Don't mock me–

There it goes again, the patronizing Takahashi.

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _Ah_ —I see, I see.  
So that's how it is.  
You've been showing a lot of interest in the Fukuis.  
Is this just an elaborate ruse so that you can get to Kuki?

What?! Why would he even think that?!  
Even Michiru had me mistaken in the same way!  
This stale joke has Misae's name written all over it!

 _Augh_.

This Takahashi—he's too influenced by the many eccentricities of A-01...  
Now, he has more new ways to be aggravating.

 **(Takeru)**  
To get to Cookie? No, I wouldn't–

Takahashi laughs his usual light-hearted laugh.

 **(Takahashi)**  
I was kidding, Shirogane.  
Loosen up sometimes. Didn't Kuki just tell you to live a little?  
And besides—don't say something that absolute.  
Kuki would be disappointed to hear you say that you have no interest in her.

What's he talking about this time?  
Can we _please_ get back to the topic?

No, wait—it's because of this damn topic that it's turned out this way–

 **(Takeru)**  
Forget about it then!  
I already told you there's nothing you can do for me,  
so forget about your quid pro q–

He's really testing my temper.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Shirogane, take a seat.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh_?

 **(Takahashi)**  
Take... a... seat...

He says calmly while pointing to my sakura tree.

There was nothing nasty, nor derogatory, about the way he voiced it.  
In fact, I think it abnormal that his voice is calm,  
but at the same time, there is something powerful, compelling, about his tone,  
so I am left following his cue, as I take a seat and lean my back on the trunk of my tree.

 **(Takahashi)**  
We're running out of time,  
so I'll make this quick.  
How much do you know about Alternative, Shirogane?

Is he actually taking me up on my end of the contract?  
I... I wasn't being too serious when I made that suggestion.  
However, Takahashi is taking this much too dutifully.

Although—I do have to concede... that I am... slightly... curious...

 **(Takeru)**  
Just as much as any other soldier,

I murmur at him.

In other words, _'Close to nothing'_.  
In my own, _'You don't need to know, Takahashi'_.

I mentioned this with unblinking eyes and my most persuasive mask,  
which proved to be an exercise in futility.

Takahashi does not look convinced, not in the least.

How much is the Causality Conductor allowing him to perceive?  
I have no control at all... and it's becoming problematic in situations like this.

With a smug look on his face, Takahashi shares to me yet another tale.

 **(Takahashi)**  
In 1995, I used to work directly with Yuuko in the genesis of Alternative IV.  
By having me, officer of the 19th Brigade, cooperate with the UN,  
the Imperial House sought to display our full support.

Takahashi is making no effort to hold back classified information.

Sure—it's no longer 'classified' to me.  
Notwithstanding, Takahashi isn't supposed to know so.

 **(Takahashi)**  
In those days, my regular assignment was the searching of candidates for the 00 Unit.

 **(Takeru)**  
What's the '00 Unit'?

I ask him, faking ignorance.  
He's not being careful at all, throwing out code names like that to a cadet such as me–

 **(Takahashi)**  
–Stop playing games with me, Shirogane.  
You insult my intelligence the longer you keep up this facade.

 _Khh_ –

I'm...

 **(Takeru)**  
U... understood...

I'm embarrassing myself.  
The only person I'm fooling is—myself...

Alright, Takahashi.

No more games.

...

...

So then... I guess...

Yuuko-sensei was rounding up candidates as early as six years ago.  
She's a fast worker; this I already know.  
After all, she did make the XM3 for me within a day yesterday.

 **(Takahashi)**  
I have no clue how Yuuko finds these candidates,  
but she does—and she gives me their names.  
One of my assignments landed me in southern Kyushu, Okinawa,  
an islet that hardly experienced BETA attacks, being across the sea.

Okinawa—that's a part of the country that I've never visited before.  
Would that explain why I never met them in my home world?

 **(Takahashi)**  
Yet, even without the BETA, the prefecture was in ruins.  
The citizens were all panicked from nothing more than the _threat_ of a BETA invasion,  
and the whole region lost all semblance of law and order.

 **(Takeru)**  
Really? Just because they were afraid of the _possibility_ of a BETA attack?

 **(Takahashi)**  
A possibility is all it took.  
Fear is a potent cause for action, Shirogane.  
A BETA invasion wouldn't have been any different—  
they were destroying themselves from within.  
Towns and cities were razed and looted without discrimination;  
thieves, murderers, and every kind of criminal populated the streets.  
There were no longer good people or bad people,  
there was only survival.  
It was... in a way... another kind of hell...

Cookie and Ryuu grew up in these gruesome conditions.  
That's... horribly challenging...

 **(Takahashi)**  
I went there with my unit under the pretense of restoring the peace in Okinawa,  
when my true objective was the retrieval of a certain Fukui Ryuuseiu.  
After three weeks of scouring, I finally found the Fukuis sheltered in one of the churches.  
You see, the elderly priest told me they were abandoned by their parents at the age of seven,  
after which, they lived in the streets until they were ten.  
If you ask them today, they don't even remember the faces of their parents.  
That's how young and broken they were.

To live in the streets in a town under sheer chaos,  
you'd have to be tough to survive for as long as they have.

(One second—do you _have to_ be tough for the circumstance,  
or does the circumstance _make_ you tough?  
Is it the cause, or is it the resulting effect?)

And they were just... children...

Darwinism.  
Survival of the fittest.  
 _Kill or be killed_ , is the way of life in a world like that.

Not to mention that the kinds of crowds you run into are... savage...

 _Hm_.

Would that be why Cookie and Ryuu's language is uncouth at times?  
And their constant usage of gang jargon? Of street talk–?

Oh, also–

Is that why Mitsuki called them _'street rats'_ in the simulator room?  
She may hate them (and for valid reasons),  
but that remains a callous insult, after what Cookie and Ryuu have been through.

 **(Takahashi)**  
This priest found them laying in sleep in one of Naha's sewage tunnels,  
and taking pity on them, he offered them food and refuge.  
A church was one of the few sanctuaries left that was immune to the pillaging of the mobs.  
They lived in that church for a year or so,  
safe from the hostility of the world outside its doorsteps.

And that hostility is from humankind...

Similar to the G-bombs dropped on Yokohama Hive,  
the threat wasn't even from the real enemies.

 _Huh?_

Is Takahashi... laughing... right now?  
It's subtle, but I can see his shoulders quiver with every chuckle.  
Maybe he just remembered something fond.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Even then, Kuki and Ryuu were feisty.  
I had to wrestle them both at the same time  
to finally get them to come with me.

Takahashi rotates his left forearm then brings it closer for me to see,  
and it has an imprint of... teeth marks?  
Did... they... bite him?  
That is one severe bite, for it to leave a lasting impression like that–

 **(Takahashi)**  
Can you keep a secret, Shirogane?

 **(Takeru)**  
That depends, I want to ask something beforehand–

 **(Takahashi)**  
Fair enough—ask away.

 **(Takeru)**  
I can't help but notice that you only mentioned your objective was Ryuu–

 **(Takahashi)  
** –And that's the secret that you need to keep.  
Yuuko only needed Ryuu. Kuki wasn't qualified to be the 00 Unit.

 _Huhh_.

Thinking about it more closely,  
to what extent is Takahashi's knowledge of the 00 Unit?

Along with Michiru—do they know that the 00 Unit _is_?  
Yuuko-sensei probably made mention of the Unit to the higher ranking officers of A-01,  
but did she tell them that candidates are, ultimately, sacrifices, for the Susanoo's mainframe?

If not, I wonder what Takahashi believes the implications to be.

I mean, he did join A-01 (willingly or unwillingly, I have not yet established),  
so he should be at least curious as to what he signed up for, right?  
Or does his sense of duty forbid him from asking such questions?

I guess I'm wondering all this because, if he does know they are just pawns to Yuuko-sensei,  
then he shouldn't be worried that Cookie isn't qualified to be the 00 Unit,  
since Yuuko-sensei wouldn't need to take her life.

 **(Takeru)**  
She... wasn't... qualified? She _isn't_ qualified?

I reiterate.

 **(Takahashi)**  
This should go without saying—that I've never told this to Kuki.  
However, at the time, Ryuu wouldn't come with me unless I brought his sister.

 _Nghh_ —I still have no sympathy for Ryuu...  
Even after hearing this...

 **(Takeru)**  
But how did Yuuko-sensei–  
Oh, I mean, the XO–

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _Tsk_.  
No more games, Shirogane.

I slipped...  
I called her Yuuko-sensei in front of Takahashi...

Shit—did I do the same thing in front of Michiru earlier too?  
She didn't say anything, so maybe—I didn't?

 **(Takeru)**  
R... right... Excuse me...  
How did sensei take that news?  
About you bringing along Cookie?

 **(Takahashi)**  
She wouldn't have any of it, of course.  
She was adamant about only taking Ryuu.  
 _'I don't need Kuki, leave her in Naha,'_  
Yuuko kept yelling at me.

 _Ah_. That's...  
Yuuko-sensei...  
for you...

 **(Takahashi)**  
So, I stepped in. I had to.  
I wasn't briefed that Ryuu had a twin sister when Yuuko handed me the objective.  
But when I saw them both,  
I didn't want to separate brother from sister, nor sister from brother.  
So I argued, and argued, and argued with Yuuko.  
In the end, we compromised, and I promised to raise them myself.  
So raise them I did.

How odd—that what seems to be the only time Takahashi purposefully neglected his duty,  
is to protect two unfamiliar children. Strangers to him.

 **(Takahashi)**  
The first two years they spent with me in the Imperial training grounds.  
By the latter half of the second year,  
they were putting even some of my most-tested veterans to shame.

Such is the nature of those with the ability to pick the best futures.  
Age is not a factor.

Can the same be said for Cookie, though?  
I thought Yuuko-sensei said that Cookie isn't gifted with that ability?

 **(Takahashi)**  
By the time they were thirteen, in 1997,  
I enlisted them both into Training Group 207.

Training Group 207—where every A-01 Eishi is incepted.

 **(Takeru)**  
Yuuko-sensei had nothing to say about Cookie joining 207?

I mean, Cookie isn't a candidate, so–

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _'It's her funeral,'_ is all she told me when I enlisted Kuki.

 **(Takeru)**  
That sounds like a Yuuko-sensei thing to say...

Though I'm not quite convinced.

On the outside, sensei can appear heartless,  
yet, sometimes, I feel like she's putting on an act,  
just because of the tough choices she has to make.

Some parts of Takahashi's story, especially the ones involving Yuuko-sensei,  
just don't jive.

I bet that it's... extremely difficult... to be in her shoes...  
However, to solve this riddle, I will try to wear (her shoes) nonetheless:

It should be enough that she might already have to waive Ryuu's life for the 00 Unit,  
but for Cookie to be an Eishi too—an occupation with a very short lifespan...

And is she _really_ 'unqualified' to be the 00 Unit?  
Is that _really_ the truth, sensei?

By the looks and sounds of it,  
Cookie appears to be as gifted (or cursed?) as everyone else in A-01.

Yuuko-sensei must've been trying to protect her,  
by doing her best to exclude Cookie in all this...

But that would mean that she's decided to only sacrifice one of the twins,  
and if so, wouldn't that be unfair to Ryuu, the twin she chose to sacrifice?

In the end, it didn't matter what she did or tried to do.  
Both siblings are now in the line of fire.

By any means, I'll never know exactly what it is Yuuko-sensei is thinking,  
but I think I'm on to something with this train of reasoning.  
I must be maturing somewhat,  
now that I'm figuring out the labyrinth that is sensei's mind.

Yuuko-sensei was trying to do the right thing...  
Takahashi was trying to do the right thing...  
Even Takayuki and Shinji were trying to do the right thing...

In the end... is there such a thing as 'the right thing'?

Yuuhi...

 _'When one wishes to do something,_  
 _there are inevitably some who see it as good and others who see it as evil._  
 _However, if you are able to place yourself in different positions,_  
 _then all of them will appear to be right.'_

What she instilled in me then... has never been more relevant than now...

...

Hold on.  
There's something else that doesn't quite fit–

 **(Takeru)**  
But Takahashi, why would Cookie and Ryuu want to join the war?  
Isn't it their wish to stay alive?

Indeed—after all of Cookie's talk about wanting to stay alive,  
here they are,  
in Yuuko-sensei's Special Task Force,  
where every mission can easily be their last.

 **(Takahashi)**  
That's a question for them, not for me.

 **(Takeru)**  
Oh, you have a point. I shouldn't have–

That question was too personal.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Don't get me wrong, Shirogane—I do know the answer,  
but unless you hear it from their own lips,  
the answer might as well be worthless.  
So why not ask them the next time you see them?

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I think I'll do just that...

I'm digging myself deeper into the rabbit hole of the Fukuis' lives,  
and I'm not sure _why_ I'm digging...  
I'm in too deep for it to be plain curiosity.

Why indeed... are they fighting at all...

 **(Takeru)**  
I guess we all have our own demons to fend...

 _Oops_ —I didn't mean to say that out loud.

 **(Takahashi)**  
That we do.  
Well now, if you're expecting more,  
sorry to disappoint, but this is all I have for you.  
Their story is a story in the works;  
they're still here, alive and kicking.

Takahashi says so with pride.

Only an hour or so ago I told myself I've listened to enough tragedy to last me this day,  
yet Takahashi told me another tragic story immediately after.

Had I known,  
I would've asked about something less grave,  
such as Takahashi's own story,  
or his 'confidential history' with Yuuko-sensei.  
(I wonder if it means what I think it means;  
it's hard to tell because of the way Cookie and Ryuu both mused it).

This started out as a spoof to get Takahashi off my back,  
to fulfill his end of the contract.

Now that I've learned where they come from,  
my heavy heart has lightened up a little.

For an abbreviated window of time,  
as I listened to the messed up childhood of Cookie and Ryuu,  
I actually forgot about how fucked up my own life is.

I would be remiss to claim that their story did not move me...

As short-lived as it was, it's time to get back to my own story. My own reality.

And in my reality, Fukui Kukiko and Fukui Ryuuseiu's story ends in two weeks,  
on November 11,  
on the coast of Niigata.

Takahashi himself will be wounded in their stealth mission of capturing BETA specimens.

However—  
How...ever...

Does their story have to end this way?

Maybe if I save them... there'd be more of us in future Operations...  
At Sadogashima... at the Original Hive...

If I can save them, maybe, just maybe, we can all have a happy ending...

How...ever...  
 _'...we aren't living in that kind of a story,'  
_ right, Cookie?

 _'Shirogane... you may end up playing the devil instead,'  
_ Yuuko-sensei's ghastly words whisper in my ears...

...

The hell am I doing—thinking mundane thoughts of saving everyone?

 _Gahhh–!_

I'm at it again, I'm—pathetic.

If all it takes to shake my resolve is forming new relationships,  
and hanging on to my old ones,  
then I am doomed for all my days to repeat this cycle.

This is just who I am...  
Shirogane Takeru...  
White-Knight wannabe...

...

...

...

 _I know what I must do._

 _..._

 _..._

There will be no more thoughts of saving.  
There will be no more brooding.  
No more doubting.

...

 _To save myself and end this curse,  
I have to kill my self.  
I have to kill the part of me that wants to save everybody else..._

 **(Takahashi)**  
Shirogane, you don't look well.

 **(Takeru)**  
That's none of your concern.

Now that his debt is settled,  
I want him to get lost.

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _Hoooh_ —it seems to me that you're facing these demons of yours,  
even as we speak.

Wrong, Takahashi.  
The demon—is _me_.

 **(Takahashi)**  
The sun's just about up.  
It's time I get back for a cold breakfast and an even colder shower;  
our morning briefing should start in the next hour or so.

Good...  
I need some time alone before heading back...

 **(Takeru)**  
I'll stay here for a bit longer...  
I have a few more hours before morning roll call.

Takahashi pats down his trousers, sleeves, and the back of his shirt.

 **(Takahashi)**  
See you around Hell, Shirogane.

 **(Takeru)**  
–Takahashi!

I call back to him just as he starts ascending the hill.

 **(Takahashi)**  
Shirogane?

 **(Takeru)**  
Be careful out there...

I need you alive to fulfill your role in Operation Ouka,  
just as I will fulfill mine...

 **(Takahashi)**  
 _Hah.  
_ Don't worry about me,  
I'm with the two best survivors in the whole team.  
We'll be waiting for you to join A-01,  
so be quick about it, Shirogane.

Stop bringing them up... please...

Maybe _you_ will be waiting, Takahashi,  
but Cookie... and Ryuu... your 'two best survivors'...  
They won't be alive by the time I arrive...

And it's not just them...

Everyone—

In my heart,  
you are already dead to me...

You... _should be..._ dead to me...

 _Should_... _be..._


	15. Advent

**Chapter 15 – Advent**

* * *

 **Advent**  
 _noun  
_ 1\. The beginning of something anticipated  
2\. The arrival of a notable person, thing, or event

* * *

 **? ? ?**

* * *

 **(? ? ?)**  
Kasumi,  
how good to see you again...  
Have they been treating you well?

 **(Kasumi)**  
Takeru...  
He... has returned...

 **(? ? ?)**  
 _Ahhh_...  
That's why you've been gone for so long...

 **(Kasumi)  
** Your voice is even weaker now...  
How much longer... do you have?

 **(? ? ?)  
** I don't know...  
I'm losing myself... with every day.  
Don't worry, Kasumi,  
my pain will soon go away...  
thanks to you...

 **(Kasumi)**  
But... Takeru...  
He's in a lot of pain...  
I've never known... that one's mind can feel... so terrifying...  
You... are the same...

 **(? ? ?)**  
Dry your tears, Kasumi.  
His pain will end too...  
The stage is set.  
My role is complete.  
Thank you, Kasumi,  
for setting the wheel in motion.  
Now, we can finally begin.

 **(Kasumi)**  
Begin?  
But I want it to end...  
for Him... for You...

 **(? ? ?)**  
This time... this time...  
This time is the time...  
He will be strong enough...  
I believe He will do it...  
this time...

 **(Kasumi)**  
What will happen...  
to Him...  
and to You?

 **(? ? ?)**  
Kasumi, He doesn't belong in this world,  
and I am no longer a part of it.

 **(Kasumi)  
**. . .  
So, will... You... leave me... too?

 **(? ? ?)**  
I am very sorry, Kasumi...  
Where we are going,  
you cannot follow...

 **(Kasumi)**  
I want to fol–

 **(? ? ?)**  
Kasumi! Forget! Me!  
 _Ah_ —Sorry, I didn't mean to yell...  
But it is Him you have to think of from now on, Kasumi.  
Please, bring Him... to the end...  
that I have dreamed of... for so long...  
And remind Him... of who He is,  
shall He ever forget...  
Will you do that... for me?

 **(Kasumi)**  
I... want to–

 **(? ? ?)**  
– _Will you do that for me, Kasumi?_

 **(Kasumi)**  
I... will do...  
anything... for You...

 **(? ? ?)**  
This is the last I will ever ask of you.

 **(Kasumi)**  
These... memories... of Takeru...  
do you still need them?

 **(? ? ?)**  
 _Hmh_? I didn't know you were still holding on.  
But if you never let them go, Kasumi,  
you'll never have memories you can call yours–

 **(Kasumi)**  
–I would like to keep these,  
if that is okay with you...

 **(? ? ?)  
**. . .  
If you really want to, I will not stop you.  
But why, Kasumi?  
Why do you want to hang on to all these grievous memories,  
when you could be making pleasant ones of your own?

 **(Kasumi)  
**. . .  
The times I spent with Takeru,  
are the happiest times of my life...  
These are the times when I felt most alive...  
I... I will do everything...  
to free him–

 **(Takeru)**  
Kasumi? Are you talking to someone?

 **(Kasumi)**  
—!

 **(? ? ?)**  
 _Ahhh_...  
So that's Him...  
The one we've all been waiting for...  
I've almost forgotten what He looks like...  
It is time,  
my Master beckons me.  
I might not see you again,  
not until the last episode.  
Bye... bye... dear Kasumi...

 **(Kasumi)**  
Bye... bye...

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh_? That's not how you welcome people, Kasumi–

 **(? ? ?)  
** _As for you—  
Courage, Shirogane.  
Stay... strong... Shirogane...  
Takeru..._

Many light-years away from Earth—is a star on a direct collision course.

* * *

 _Author's Note:_

 _This marks the end of 'Volume 1' of this fanfic.  
Fair warning: long story ahead.  
I hope you look forward to the rest of it. _

_Here's to more writing in 2018! Happy New Year!_

 _PS: I will be revisiting all the previous chapters for one last proofread before the next release—this may or may not cause delays. But however delayed I might be, I'll be writing this until I complete this story._


	16. Fractured Reflections

**Chapter 16 – Fractured Reflections**

* * *

 **Kasumi**

* * *

 _*blink*blink*blink*_

 _*yaaawn*_

 _'Is it morning already?'  
_ I ponder while rubbing my eyes.

It feels as if I closed them only a second ago.

Oh—but it really is morning.

Still so sleepy though...

 _Ah_. Right.

So what if I'm sleepy?  
I have to wake up Takeru.  
He's counting on me; he said so.

With that in mind, I have to get up and out of my night gown.

Stay here, okay, Usa-san?

...

After splashing cold water on my face,  
combing my hair,  
and putting on my dress,  
I start my journey to Takeru's dorm.

...

...

...

Never mind.

...

I had to walk back.  
I almost forgot something.

...

It's here.

Here it is.

My diadem—I shouldn't forget my diadem.

Kouzuki-hakase pointed out that these antennas help me focus my mind-reading abilities.  
I'm not sure how true that is, but I like them anyway.

Because.

I think it's cute on me.

And I like how it's fluffy.

 **(Kasumi)**  
 _Ohayou, Sumika-san._

I greet Sumika-san upon passing her by,  
not really expecting a reply.

 **(? ? ?)**  
. . . . . .

 **(Kasumi) _  
_** _Ohayou...?_

 **(? ? ?)**  
. . . . .

No reply either.

He's... gone...

 **(? ? ?)**  
. . . .

 **(Kasumi)**  
 _Should I say good morning to Takeru-chan for you?_

 **(? ? ?)**  
. . .

 **(Kasumi)** _  
Bye bye..._

I'll come back later, Sumika-san...

 _*footsteps*_

 _*door opening*_

 _Ah_. I should greet the Professor.  
I don't think she knows they let me out of the hospital last evening.

 _*door opening again*_

 _Eh_? Kouzuki-hakase is slouched on her desk.

This isn't the first time I've caught her sleeping in the office instead of her room next door,  
but—why is she still asleep?  
She's usually (actually, always) awake before me.

Her position looks very uncomfortable...

 _*muffled footsteps*_

I'm right beside her now, and she _still_ hasn't woken up.  
She must be very, very tired.

 _*nudge*_

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Nghhhhh..._

 _*nudge*nudge*_

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Nghhhhh_... whosh zheer?

 **(Kasumi)**  
Ohayou.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Yuhsheeroo?  
Eesh shteel two erly,  
Five muh minutsh...

She's having a dream,  
so I refrain from getting any closer.

 **(Kasumi)**  
Bye bye.

 **(Yuuko)**  
 _Nghh-nghh_...

She turns her head to the other side right as I start walking away.

 _*muffled footsteps*_

 _*door opening*_

 _*door closing*_

 _*more footsteps*_

 _*Kasumi yawning*_

Oh—that's me.  
I should've just thought * _yawn_ * instead of * _Kasumi yawning_ *...  
It's too early to think straight.

 **(? ? ?)**  
Morning, Yashiro.

 **(Kasumi)**  
Ohayou, Ichimonji-san.

I passed by Mister Ichimonji in the hallway.

Although I didn't physically see him (I was rubbing my eyes while I was walking...),  
I recognized him by his voice.  
And to no one's surprise, he's also up so early in the morn.

There was something on his mind just now,  
but since it's Ichimonji-san,  
on instinct, I turned my senses off.

 _*footsteps again*_

...

...

...

Here I am.  
I've arrived in front of Takeru's room.

 _Eh?_

My heart—it's beating unusually fast,  
and I can't wait to revive this morning routine of ours.

Is this... what it feels like... to be—excited?

With this warm, dreamy sensation permeating my entire body,  
I twist the doorknob,  
'excited' to see Takeru again.

Only to find his room...

Vacant.

And.

In terrible disorder.

An unholy mess.

His bunk bed is toppled sideways,  
the linen sheets are scattered all over the flooring.

There's nothing on his table;  
I think that whatever was on top of it is lost on the floors.

The closet doors, and drawers, are all flung wide open.

His chair is downside-up in the middle of the room.

But nothing seized my attention more than the mirror on the wall,  
though I didn't see it immediately,  
not until after I closed the door behind me.

The mirror is directly on the right side, you see.  
It's on the same side as the hinge,  
so the door was hiding it from view at first.

And the mirror.

It's shattered—into a million pieces.

I'm only saying a million because that's what it looks like to me.  
I don't know what the exact number is,  
only that it's so many.

Some of the pieces, both tiny and large, have fallen to the sink and the ground beneath.

I only noticed those pieces when I walked up to the mirror,  
because I can feel the sharp edges on the soles of my shoes.

A deep red stain is in the center of it,  
and in this center,  
it looks like is where the mirror was struck.

Hard.

The stain—I believe it's dried blood...

The way the stain looks, the way it clotted flowing downwards,  
is like how a painter would paint an ominous work of art...

And my reflection is—frightening.

In place of another Kasumi looking back at me,  
there stands several Kasumis,  
one for every fragment of the fractured mirror.

The glares of all these alien Kasumis are all on me,  
like how all those scary people used to stare at me,  
in my earliest days—when I was barely alive, submerged inside my suspension tank...

However, my past horrors are not the heart of the matter.

Takeru...  
Did you see this too?  
Did you feel judged by all these reflections of you?

What did you go through... last night?

 _Where are you?_

I've been trying my hardest not to snoop into his mind while we are apart,  
but, just this once,  
just to find out where he is,  
to make sure he isn't still hurting himself somewhere–

 _Hnghhh_ —!

That... was painful...  
Almost like stabbing myself on the sharp tip of a needle.  
Only, I was stabbed by a hundred needles.  
Only, the needles hurt a hundred times worse...

And I didn't even get to see or read anything from him,  
I simply wanted to find out where he is...

There are too many... disturbances... in Takeru's mind...

 _I'm coming for you..._

 _*footsteps*_

 **(? ? ?)  
** G'morning Kasumi-chan!

 **(Kasumi)**  
. . .

 _*faster footsteps*_

I might've run into four or five more people on my way,  
but like Ichimonji-san before them,  
I wasn't able to spare them too much attention.

 **(Corporal)**  
 _Ah_ , are we taking a stroll this morning, Yashiro-san?

 **(Kasumi)**  
Ohayou...

 **(Corporal)**  
 _Eh_?

 **(Corporal)**  
But Yashiro-san,  
hold on a minute–!

 **(Corporal)**  
Oi, contact Dr. Kouzuki!  
 _Huh?_ Where'd she go–?

 **(Corporal)**  
Oh boy, we're in big trouble...

...

. . .

. . . .

Almost... there...

 _*weaker footsteps*_

There... you are...  
Takeru...

I see him now.

Before proceeding any further,  
I slow my pace a bit to catch my breath somewhat.

I overexerted myself,  
walking more than I'm used to,  
and my weak body is reminding me of my frailty.

There's that.

And there's also—the sakura tree,  
beside the reclined form of Takeru.

The sakura tree.  
Where I said goodbye to Takeru...  
Where I... misled... Takeru...

It is a bit scary to me...

That's where he is though,  
so swallowing my shivers,  
I approach him without any more thought to the tree.

 **(Kasumi)  
** Ohay–

 _Ah_. But he's still asleep,  
so in this circumstance,  
my morning welcome would instead be an unwelcoming gesture.

Oh. I know what to do.

Tucking in my dress (without worrying that the earth will make it dirty),  
I bend my knees to crouch at his side and get even closer to Takeru's sleeping body.

He looks so tranquil in his sleep.

I hope he's dreaming a pleasant dream—  
No, wait. That's wrong.  
I hope he _isn't_ dreaming a pleasant dream,  
or else I'd be doing a bad thing by waking him from it.

And I don't want to peek into his dream.  
So I'm not going to.

Instead.

 _*nudg–_

Just as I'm about to do so, I pause.  
Why?  
Because—he does look so peaceful,  
and I would hate to end his peace.

Maybe I should let him be like this a while longer...

He terribly deserves this chance to rest.

My outstretched hands—  
rather than prodding him awake,  
they lift up his head, lightly and delicately,  
so that he can use my lap as a pillow.

And like this,  
though my kneeling position is not the most comfortable of positions,  
and though my favourite dress will surely be soiled by this,

Takeru and I... we stay...

* * *

Maybe.

I've become accustomed to these pangs.

Or maybe.

I've grown numb to the pain.

Or it may likely be,  
that by concentrating on my happier memories,  
I've taken away the power of the ones that are horrid.

Whatever the reason is,  
I am... _happy_... that I'm allowed to be this close to Takeru...

* * *

As carefully as I placed his head on my lap,  
(I might've even been a degree more careful this time),  
I reach for Takeru's right hand.

I'm not exactly certain why I decided to,  
I just know that—I had to.

And I found out why the instant upon taking his hand in mine.

It's because I remembered what I saw before coming here.

I felt the scar right away,  
but to be more convinced,  
my eyes also had to see it.

This is the once-bloodied hand from last night...  
The hand that shattered Takeru's reflection...  
And, I assume, along with the other pair,  
the hand that tore his room down.

Does this hurt, Takeru?

 _You said that his pain is going to end..._

Maybe, I can cure this wound?  
It's small, and he probably doesn't even feel it anymore.  
But if he doesn't tend to this properly, it might only get worse.

 _Uhm,_ the Doctor does _this_ to treat me when I get grazes and scratches,  
(I'm too thin-skinned—even the tiniest wounds cause me severe discomfort).

I'll try it on Takeru.  
It _should_ work on Takeru.  
How could it not?

I, slowly, lift his fingers... closer to my lips,  
and give Takeru's scars a very light kiss–

 **(Takeru)**  
Kas...sumi?

 _Ah_ —his eyelids are twitching.

 **(Kasumi)**  
O...ha...you...

 **(Takeru)  
** Good morning to you too,  
did I oversleep?

 **(Kasumi)**  
. . .

He has awakened,  
but he is not getting up.

His head remains on my lap,  
his gaze is steadily on mine.

Given our current positions,  
I wasn't able to help myself.

I did what I said I wouldn't do...

I accidentally peeked—into Takeru...

...

And...

They're all in his thoughts...

Of course... they would be...

The one thing that doesn't change about you,  
that doesn't change about every single Shirogane Takeru...

You're still worried for them,  
and for this... world,  
in the way that only _you_ can worry about others more than you worry about yourself.

You're exactly like Him...

And yet, that's not all.  
There's something else.  
Something else is taking place,  
in his mind, and, in his heart—

 **(Takeru)**  
It's not good to pry without permission, Kasumi.

 **(Kasumi)**  
 _. . ._!

It was an accident! I didn't mean to–!

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Kasumi... can you help me?_

Tak...keru...

 **(Takeru)  
** _Can you help me find it?_

Takeru...

 **(Takeru)**  
 _...the Causality Conductor?_

 _Takeru..._

We probably look like fools,  
because on the outside,  
similar to my conversation with Sumika-san earlier,  
no words are actually being said out loud.

I mean—that no voices can be heard.

Because.

All these words are only in his head.  
And only I can hear them, because I'm inside his head.

When he realized that I was inside his head,  
he _asked_ me this—no, he _thought_ of this question out loud,  
so that he can block me out.

Also.

I'm not saying anything back, because—I'm not very good with words...

And because I'm not very good with words,  
I do the following instead.

I place my hands on the sides of his face,  
and delve myself deeper into Takeru's world...

* * *

 _Ah_ –?

This is... the inside of his mind.  
Or is this his heart?

The deepest, innermost thoughts, where Takeru resides.

But. There's. Nothing.

Nothing but.

Takeru.

And another Takeru.

And another. And another. And another. And–

They're all... dead.

 _Nghh_ —not all of them.

There are two of them still standing.  
Two mirror images of Takeru.

They're both weak and bloodied.

They're both trying to kill each other.

 _'We have to save our friends,'_ says one Takeru, before striking the other.

 _'No. We have to break the cycle,'_ says the other, answering with an equally destructive jab.

 _'What's the point in saving our selves if we have to kill our beloved?!'_ again objects the first.

 _'What's the point in saving our beloved if we'd have to go through it all over again?!'_ then counters the second.

I... helplessly... watch them...

 _'There has to be a way to–!'_

Go toe to toe...

 _'You never grow up! Which is why... you have to die–!'_

Exchange blow for blow...

That explains all of these dead bodies already lying before me.

This conflict tormenting him—is killing _all_ of him.  
All that's left are these two, and in the end, only one of them will survive.

Who will win?

Does it matter which Takeru wins?  
If one kills the other, won't the other also die?  
Then won't there be nothing left of Takeru?

One part of him still wants to save _this_ world.  
The other part wants to save _his_ world.

The second Takeru—I think he's almost winning their fight.  
Yet, the first Takeru is showing no signs of yielding...

I want to help them, but...  
I don't know what to do...  
I don't know... what to do...

Takeru...

 _'We are the Causality Conductor! Why the fuck can't we–?!'_

 _'Because we can't risk the future that we know!'_

Huh?

 _'To hell with the future! There is no future if they're not in it!'_

There's—something... off...  
With what they're saying...

 _'You're right! This world has no future! Even if we win again, how long until the BETA come back in greater numbers? This world is doomed! They're doomed even if we help them, you fool!'_

 _'Khh_ _–!'_

With that, their battle reaches its conclusion.

The first Takeru is down, beaten on the ground,  
pinned at the head by the foot of the other Takeru.

 _'What about the innocent lives we'd have to exchange for the lives of our beloved?! What about them?!'_

 _'. . . . .'_

 _'And what about sensei's words? Are we here to play the devil's role? They died to bring out the best future for this world! Who are we to prevent that future?!'_

 _'. . . . .'_

The victor removes his foot and pulls the defeated by the hair so that they're seeing eye-to-eye.

 _'What if we die after saving one of our friends, only to never wake up again? Or even better, what if we wake up in the fires of hell?'_

 _'. . . . .'_

That's—it!

I know how to help them!

I _can_ help them!

Of course.

 _He_ told me I could do so, this time.  
 _'This time is the time,'_ said _He_.

But, how... do I tell them?

Will they forgive me... if I tell them?

This is all my faul—

 _Huh?_

Where's all this water coming from?  
This place—is suddenly getting flooded!

Very quickly! Too quickly!

The two of them aren't minding the flood at all,  
too consumed by their bloodthirst for each other.

I...  
I'm afraid... of water...

I can't swim, and,  
it brings back my horrible memories of the days I spent in the suspension tank...

As the water level rapidly rises, the dead bodies, and I, rise along with it.

No–! I'm going to suffocate! I'm going to drown!  
I'm going to—die!

 **(Kasumi)**  
Help!

My voice! I can't use my voice underwater!

 **(Kasumi)**  
Help... please...

 **(? ? ?)**  
Kasumi!

Both Takerus turn their eyes in my general direction.

I can't hold my breath for much longer...

The first Takeru,  
the defeated Takeru,  
the Takeru that kept yelling 'Save our friends',  
frees himself from the other's grasp and swims past the pool of floating dead Takerus.

Trying to get to me.

At least, I think he was.

Whether he was coming for me or not, no longer matters,  
because he doesn't make it.

In his hurry, he crashes his temple against the head of another corpse that happened to drift into his path, and in his already weakened state, that impact may have been life-threatening.

This is the end, of my visit...

But.

The second Takeru,  
the victorious Takeru,  
the Takeru that kept yelling 'Save our self',  
picked up the body of the first, and now he's dragging the first Takeru while swimming towards me.

Probably because of the sudden change in movement, the first Takeru opened his eyes and came to.

The second Takeru, though, looks weary. I don't think they'll reach me in time.

 _Ah–!_

He's–! He's–!

He's throwing the body of the first Takeru, propelling him towards me!

But wouldn't that take the last of his energy–?

Then.

The first Takeru—he grabs me from behind, and with great speed, swims upwards, towards the surface.

I'm... I'm... saved...

 _But..._

When my face is an inch away from the top, I can feel Takeru's grip loosen.  
He's—sinking...

Wait!

Both Takerus—they're still down there!  
Are they–?  
No! You have to come with me, Takeru!

However, my lungs are crying for oxygen, so I push myself upward by the last inch, breaking the surface of the water, and breathing in, fresh... air—

* * *

 **(Takeru)**  
Kasumi? Is something troubling you?

 **(Kasumi)**  
 _Huh_ _–?_

I'm... back...

It's the same... as I left it,  
with my hands on both sides of his cheeks.  
Although, Takeru's hand is now on top of mine, I just noticed.

Other than that, I'm still kneeling;  
he's still resting on my lap.

His eyes are still fixed on mine.

And in his eyes...

Which reflection of his is staring back at me?  
Which Takeru am I looking into?

But of course, he wouldn't know.  
After all, my visit into his mind is not an episode he is fully aware of.  
Even for me, some parts of it are now hazy, especially after that unsettling ending...

 **(Takeru)**  
I'm asking too much from you, aren't I?

 _Ah_ —that's right.

He asked for my help in finding it.

 _'No, it isn't too much to ask,'_ is what I want to voice out.

I can help you.

We can find it.  
The Causality Conductor.

I know where it is, Takeru.

I know where He is.

 **(Kasumi)  
** _*blink*... *blink*..._

But...

I can't tell him...

Not at this time.

Everything has to happen according to His time.  
His plan.

 **(Takeru)**  
How about we rescue Sumika for now?

Thankfully, he asks another question to which I can finally give an answer to.

 **(Kasumi)**  
 _Hai..._

 **(Takeru)**  
I'll head to sensei's office after training and we can–

Takeru...

 **(Takeru)**  
–have you project my memory into Yuuko-sensei.  
She should be able to make better sense of it than me.  
This would be more efficient than how we did it the last time–

I think I now understand... what was going on in your heart...

You were sinking...  
You were drowning...  
You were free-falling...

Yet.

Even when you were sinking...  
Even when you were drowning...  
Even when you were free-falling...

You saved me...

 _You saved me..._

Even right now, you're thinking of Sumika-san.

In spite of everything you've been through...

In spite of all your attempts to kill your kind side,  
your kindness will never, truly, die...

That is why.

Sakaki-san.  
Ayamine-san.  
Tamase-san.  
Yoroi-san.  
Mitsurugi-san.  
And Sumika-san.

That is why.

They all lied to you, inside the Original Hive.  
Because they knew that you are too kind.

And that is why.

I lied to you.

 _I... had to..._

Still.

I pray that you never, ever, forget,  
this kindness of yours.

Because I've been told that kindness can kill.

And you will _have_ to kill... Shirogane... Takeru...

 **(Takeru)  
** –after that, sensei can dedicate more of her time to helping me.  
And maybe there's a chance she can release me sooner.  
That would be my best case scenario,  
because then I wouldn't have to live out the entire loop one more time.

 **(Kasumi)**  
One more time?

One... more... time?

 **(Takeru)**  
Nevertheless—it doesn't matter _when_ we find it.  
As long as we find it.  
I'm prepared to go through the same ending,  
but I don't want to go back to the beginning.  
I can't withstand any more loops, Kasumi.

He's thinking out loud without reserve.

When I say thinking out loud,  
I really mean to say that he's speaking his thoughts out, unlike previously.

 **(Kasumi)**  
 _I'll always be here for you, Takeru..._  
 _In every loop..._  
 _In every world you're in..._

 _I've always been here..._

 _Watching you...  
Following you...  
Remembering you...  
_

 **(Takeru)  
** Kasumi?

 **(Kasumi)**  
. . .?

 **(Takeru)**  
I need to ask... one last time... just in case...

 **(Kasumi)  
**. . .

 **(Takeru)**  
Do you see...  
A world...  
A future...  
A chance...  
No matter how slim...  
For a... happy ending?

 _Ah_ —it slipped my mind.

Before the flood ravaged the place,  
I wanted to tell them,  
about how I can help them.

But I was scared to tell them then...  
I am still as scared to tell Takeru here and now...

 **(Kasumi)  
** There–

 **(Takeru)**  
I thought so...

 _Unhh._

My voice is falling onto deaf ears.

I wish I wasn't so terrible with words...

 **(Kasumi)**  
Takeru, there's–

 **(? ? ?)**  
Kasumi?  
 _Phew_.

My response is interrupted,  
and Takeru's head jerks up from my lap at the sound of the new visitor.

That voice. It's–

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Hoh_ —was I interrupting a special moment between you two?

 **(Kasumi)  
** _Ah_ , Kouzuki-sensei–

 **(? ? ?)**  
You gave me quite a fright, Kasumi.  
The corporal's report made it sound like you ran away from the base.

Oh no, I forgot!  
She told me to see her in the clinic first thing in the morning!

But how did she know I was awake–

Oh...

The corporals...  
Not to mention everyone I came across during my search for Takeru...

I was too distracted... this morning...

 **(? ? ?)**  
And who do we have here?

 **(Takeru)**  
Yuuko-sensei?

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Yuuko?_  
 _Ohoho_ —who'd I kill to deserve such an insult for a greeting?

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Huh?_ You're not... Yuuko-sensei...?

 **(? ? ?)  
** Young man, stop mistaking me for my evil younger sister.  
Although, do you really think I look as young as her?  
If that's what you meant, thank you for the compliment.  
If not—say, do you like needles?

 **(Takeru)**  
Then who–?

 **(Kasumi)**  
Takeru, this is Kouzuki Motoko-sensei.

I introduce them to each other to diffuse their awkward encounter.

 **(Motoko)**  
 _Hmmm?_ That's the boy whom Yuuko is so proud of?  
And Kasumi—isn't that the name you kept repeating in your sleep?

Takeru looks surprised.

Though Dr. Motoko is the gentler of the sisters,  
it doesn't mean that she's any less chatty.

In fact, her lips are _always_ busy.

Whenever she's not talking,  
she's chewing on the cigarette in her lips.

I can't say that I've ever seen her light that cigarette, however.

 **(Kasumi)**  
Kouzuki-sensei is the doctor–

 **(Motoko)  
** –in charge of Kasumi.

I was about to say 'of Sumika-san'.

Kouzuki-hakase hasn't told her too much about Takeru, I gather,  
so I believe she's trying to veil the confidential nature of her work on Sumika-san's new body.

 **(Motoko)**  
Speaking of—you're looking sound today, Kasumi.  
There's some colour in your cheeks,  
and your complexion is a lot better than yesterday.

 **(Kasumi)  
** _Hai_.  
I feel much healthier.

I really do.

 **(Motoko)**  
At any rate—Kasumi, will you please come with me?  
I'll have to perform some follow-up checks before giving Yuuko the go-ahead for you.  
By the by, have you seen her this morning?  
If she makes you do anything too strenuous again, come to me straight away, okay?  
I'll give her more than just an earful the next time–

This is all so sudden.

Dr. Motoko is guiding me back to the base too hurriedly,  
leaving Takeru behind.

I... I haven't answered Takeru!

I have to tell Takeru!

That—

There is a way...

There is a way... to reach his happy ending...

 _But_. . .

* * *

 _Author's Note:_

*I updated Chapter 14 to include the following quote, in reference to Yuuhi's wisdom to Shirogane,

 _'When one wishes to do something,_  
 _there are inevitably some who see it as good and others who see it as evil._  
 _However, if you are able to place yourself in different positions,_  
 _then all of them will appear to be right.'_

*Usa-san is Kasumi's nickname for her rabbit doll.

*Sensei is an honorific also used to address Doctors

*Hakase is the honorific for Professor

* * *

 **Dr. Kouzuki Motoko profile**  
Muv-Luv wiki website: /wiki/Kouzuki_Motoko


	17. A Soldier's Name

**Chapter 17 – A Soldier's Name**

* * *

 **Chizuru**

* * *

Sakaki. A sacred evergreen shrub you'd find in a lot of Shinto shrines.

Chi, sometimes used in place of _Sen_. One thousand.  
Zuru, or more exactly, _Tsuru_. Crane.

Put together, they make up my first name—Chizuru.

Yes, I was named after the Japanese urban legend that anyone who can fold one thousand origami cranes within a year would be granted with one wish, or blessed with eternal good fortune.

Sakaki Chizuru.  
Is the name I was born with.

My parents' lifelong gift to me.

A name uttered with respect, even by those who are strangers to me.

Although—I never asked to be named this way...

My whole life, I was treated like a princess.

All of my accomplishments, everything I've ever done for myself.  
They were, are, and will be—based on a lie.

Simply because of—my name.

Take the people around me.

People have always tried to cozy up to me.  
People have always been unexpectedly generous to me.  
People have always treated me like... a princess.

In this regard, even my relationships were, are, and will be—based on a lie.

Past, Present, Future...

And I must be honest, that at first, as a young child, I ate it all up.

The attention, the praise, the feeling of importance— _I ate it all up._

They treated me like a princess, so I acted like a princess.

A _spoiled_ princess, some may even say.

But young children grow older eventually.  
And grow older, I did.

A thought came to me on one occasion, as I was growing older,  
 _'Am I receiving these extravagant gifts because these people genuinely like me, or because they're using me?'_

Followed by another thought,  
 _'Am I being graded so highly in class because I genuinely earned it, or because_ – _?'_

One thought after another, I wondered and wondered.

The whole world suddenly seemed fake to me.

Achievements—fake.  
People—fake.  
Relationships—fake.

Life... fake.

Actually, I take back the first point.

Not all of my achievements are fake,  
because I do have one _real_ achievement:  
The achievement of owning the right name.

 _Ah_ —I guess that's fake too, after all.

It's sad how it only takes one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch,  
because I'm certain that not _all_ of them were really fake.  
However, even if some of them ended up being truly genuine,  
all it takes is _one_ fake for me to look back and doubt the integrity of the rest.

What's so special about a name, anyway?  
Well, allow me:

Sakaki. A sacred evergreen shrub.

The name of my father. The Prime Minister.

Whoever folded a thousand origami cranes in my name must've wished this good fortune on me.  
And to their credit, they must've meant well.

They must've wanted me to live a life filled only with good fortune.

How could they have known that I'd instead have to live—a _lie_?

I mean—I'm sure there are some of those who'd call my lap of luxury 'good fortune'.

However, I am not 'some of those'.

I hate it.

My name.

And the fake life it imposed on me.

For such an inane reason, one will find me present here today,  
in the training grounds of the UN Yokohama Base,  
despite adamant opposition from my father, the Prime Minister.

I personally don't believe in urban legends, and so, I will not even attempt to fold a single origami crane to fulfill this tiny wish of mine.

This wish—to discover my true self.  
To stop living a lie.  
To escape my false world,  
and live a genuine life.

This is not to say that I hate my parents, though.  
I still love my father, the Prime Minister.  
And his Lady wife, my mother.

Proof that I still love them?  
I am still wearing their name.

Sakaki. A sacred evergreen shrub.  
Chizuru. One thousand cranes.

Had I wanted to, I could've easily changed my name in the national register,  
even without the consent of my father and mother.

But I did not, have not, and will not—change my name.

Because my name is my parents' lifelong gift to me.

All the same, whether I like it or not, my name still carries a heavy responsibility.  
Even ever since I joined the military, those who know my father, the Prime Minister, aren't prone to mentioning my name too casually.

Be it out of respect, or consideration—they only treat me the way they do because my name belongs to my father, the Prime Minister.  
Not because I'm _me_ , Sakaki Chizuru...

Not that I mind. Not anymore.

It'd be rather vain to try to completely erase the authority borne with my name.

Thus, instead of running away from it, I choose to channel it.

Sakaki Chizuru—squad leader of Cadet Squad 207-B.  
That has a better ring to it than simply 'daughter of the Prime Minister'.

If my name is one connoted with authority,  
then I shall channel that connotation by becoming the best leader I can be.

To be the best leader, as Sakaki Chizuru,  
not as the daughter of the Prime Minister.

I am, and will strive to be, the best leader I can be.

Present, Future.

In this new life of mine, my Past does not matter.

This is the genuine life that I choose to live,  
and so, I no longer have to live a lie...

* * *

 _Nghh_.

I'm having a difficult time absorbing myself in these heavy, serious contemplations, even while I'm training.

The training itself is not what's keeping me from contemplating seriously.  
Rather, it's _whom_ I'm training with _._

 _Nnnggghh_.

But shouldn't I be glad at this outcome?  
This emotion welling inside me isn't that of gladness, however.

I'm not glad. I'm—annoyed.

Why aren't I glad?  
I can't accurately describe why...

And the fact that I'm annoyed is preventing me from accurately describing why.

I'm beating him.  
I've _wanted_ to beat him ever since he arrived.

And.

I'm beating him.

So once again: Why aren't I glad?

 **(Chizuru)**  
Shirogane! What're you trying to prove?

Unable to bottle this in any longer, I yell at him, annoyance clearly ingrained in my voice.

 **(Tamase)**  
Go on ahead, Takeru-san~!  
I'm only slowing you down...

The date is October 25.

Not two days ago, he covered this ten-kilometer track course in record time,  
and today—myself, Ayamine and Mitsurugi are far ahead of him.

What has become different between today and two days ago to cause such a vast change in outcomes?

One's initial impression might be that the three of us have drastically improved in a record-breaking span of two days.

Such is not the case, I hate to admit—I am _annoyed_ to admit.

No.

We aren't so capable that we could set our own records, much less come close to Shirogane's.

In truth, the only reason we are ahead of him is because he is dragging himself behind.

On purpose.  
Deliberately.  
Intentionally.

To escort the weakest link, the sluggish Tamase Miki.

Hence, my annoyance.

I'm beating him—but at the same time, I'm genuinely not...

 **(Jinguuji-sensei)**  
Shiroganee!  
Sometimes you'll have to leave them behind if they just can't keep up!

He's in for it now.

Even if he wouldn't listen to me, he _should_ listen to Instr. Jinguuji.  
(Thinking about it—Jinguuji-sensei warned Mitsurugi the exact same way, only the other day).

Don't get me wrong on the subject of Tamase, though.

Simply put, the hawk-eye known as Tamase Miki is just not built for endurance training,  
and I have nothing against her ineptitude to keep step with the group.

Howbeit, as the squad leader,  
I absolutely cannot cede my unit and trail behind just because of one straggler.

As cold-blooded as it sounds, there is nothing else we can do but continue exercising in the hopes that Tamase will one day overcome this track course.

In this case, I wholeheartedly agree with Jinguuji-sensei—that it's alright to leave her behind for now.

Although, this is not the case. Not exactly.

There are two stragglers—not just the one.

 _*thud*_

 **(Ayamine)  
** _Tch!_

 **(Chizuru)**  
 _Kuh!_  
Watch where you're going!

That careless Ayamine!  
She bumped into my shoulder on purpose!

Or, maybe not?

The two—wait, three of us (Mitsurugi included)—all turned our heads upon hearing Jinguuji-sensei yell at Shirogane, so none of us were actually watching where (or in Ayamine's case: _whom_ ) we were running into.

 **(Shirogane)**  
Understood, Ma'am.

Knucklehead.

'Understood,' so he responds, yet there's no improvement in his speed.

He clearly didn't understand me, nor Jinguuji-sensei.  
Why say 'Understood' if you clearly didn't understand us, Shirogane?

We all know how fleet-footed you can really be, so why are you holding yourself back intentionally?

 _Baka_...

...

 _Nhhh..._

We're nearing the end of the track.

Two and some kilometers left, to put it in numbers.

I estimate that Shirogane and Tamase are—three, maybe four, minutes behind us.

Actually, this isn't as bad as when Tamase runs all by herself.  
She usually lags by as much as ten minutes.

Shirogane himself was 22 minutes and 16 seconds ahead of us in our last run-through, and that's not even counting the extra two kilometers with our full gear on. (Tamase barely crawled out of that one).

 _Huhh_ —is it weird that I remembered that down to the number of milliseconds?

Hold it...

Did I say milliseconds?

No. That'd be too conceited of me.  
I am not so conceited that I would remember that he was 22 minutes, 16 seconds and 34 milliseconds faster than me.

No. Sakaki Chizuru is not a conceited person.

Although—is Shirogane up to something by running beside Tamase this entire time?

It's not as though he could average their speeds by running beside her; the laws of nature don't work so conveniently.  
But there is an obvious positive effect on Tamase's current performance.

How mysterious...

How do I explain this positive effect on Tamase?  
The discrepancy is especially distinct; it has never been as noticeable as this when it's Mitsurugi who paces beside her.  
So what is Shirogane doing that's different?  
How is Shirogane succeeding where Mitsurugi has failed?

Is it perhaps the morale he brings to the table?  
Can't be, otherwise Mitsurugi's support wouldn't have been any different.  
And besides, Tamase has known Mitsurugi far longer than she has known Shirogane.  
( _Hmm_... Oddly enough, this notion doesn't quite sit well with me).

What else could it be?

Is Shirogane somehow transferring his energy into Tamase?  
 _Ughh_ —that might've turned my cheeks red.

On to the next—what else?

Is Tamase trying to impress Shirogane?  
I could see that being the case, although Shirogane would be more impressed at _me_ when I finish the course in first place, so Tamase will have to do better than that if she wants to–

Wait! What am I saying!  
I'm not doing this to impress Shirogane!  
Not at all!

 _Hmm_...

 _Hmmm_...

 _Hmmmm_...

At any rate.

Whatever it is he's doing, it's working, at the not-so-high cost of putting himself down.

If it were anyone else, I wouldn't have given it another thought.  
But it's Shirogane.

It's... Shirogane...

Shirogane—Takeru...

The kanji for _Shiro_ and the kanji for _Kane_. White Metal, in the purest translation.  
And Takeru. Soldier, Warrior, Knight.

A 'Knight in White Armour'.

Who, only three days ago, was introduced to us.

I have a hunch that... that was a lie.

I'm not saying Shirogane is a liar though. No, I mean that–  
It's... our introduction... that felt... like it was fake...

 _Hmm_.

'Fake' is a poor word choice.  
But it most certainly didn't feel genuine; it felt like an imitation.  
An illusion. A mockery of an introduction.

It felt like those times when you have a nice sleep, and dream a sweet dream, only to wake up with no recollection of your sweet dream.  
Then you spend the rest of the day desperately trying to recall the contents of that sweet dream.

Our first encounter felt like that, with one slight exception...

The dream I woke up from was bitter.  
But I wouldn't be honest with myself if I claim that it wasn't sweet either.

It was.

Bittersweet.

Bitter because of me, sweet because of Shirogane—or was it the other way around?

In either case, it was what I say it was.

And unfortunately, the contents of my bittersweet dream still linger.  
They're faint, but they still linger.

It's like a negative film was burned into the back of my eyelids, and I just can't wash it off.

Yeah—that introduction made for a rude awakening...

So here I am.  
Rudely awakened.  
Unsure of what to make of it...

But I digress.

If 'fake' isn't the right word to use, then 'sentimental', maybe?

But how could a first-time introduction feel sentimental?

I don't know...

These thoughts have been irking me ever since, so much that I even forgot to visit Yoroi in the infirmary, even though I promised I'd do so.

...

I'm just not sure what it is about him, but...

I shall reserve my opinion of him for later, until I get to know him better.

I've always believed that there is more to people than just their outward appearance,  
because looks can truly be deceiving, based on my extensive personal experience–

 _Khh_ —!

I lost my footing for a second and nearly stumbled.  
All these serious thoughts are wearing me down more than the physical exertion.

I'll have to straighten this out.

I wonder what a good leader would do in my position...

The competitive spirit in me is screaming, _'Don't care about Shirogane, end this thing!'_  
The autocratic side is saying, _'Get Shirogane in line!'_  
And meanwhile, Sakaki is thinking, _'Shirogane-kun is so annoying!'_

Shirogane, Shirogane, Shirogane!

Why am I so drawn to Shirogane!

Have I mentioned how annoying Shirogane is?

This is all so bewildering!  
This... isn't... fair...

I'm beating Shirogane—when the truth is, I'm genuinely not...

 _Eh?  
_ Did I really think... _Shirogane...kun_?

Shirogane... _kun_?

...

 _*inhale...*_

 _*exhale...*_

 _*inhale…*_

Alright... I think I know what a good leader would do.

He didn't acknowledge me the first time I called out, but perhaps that was because I asked him a complicated question.

 _'_ _What're you trying to prove, Shirogane?'_ I had asked him.

I should've asked him a simpler 'Yes or No' question, not a long-answer type of question, especially since this exercise requires us to mind our breathing, so demanding a long answer from him was a mistake on my behalf.

I'll try another approach instead.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
Sakaki? Are you taking a breather?

 **(Chizuru)**  
You can say that.  
I'll meet up with you later.

 **(Ayamine)**  
...Loser.

 **(Chizuru)**  
You have something to say, Ayamine?  
Say it to my face–!

But I waited too late to speak up against Ayamine.

For an instant, it looked like Ayamine and Mitsurugi blitzed ahead of me.

Even from my point of view, they appeared to be running faster all of a sudden.

However.

Speed, like time, is relative, according to science.  
It's a matter of perspective, I suppose.

Ayamine and Mitsurugi are no faster or slower than they were before.  
On the contrary, it was I who slowed down,  
creating the illusion that they sped up.

I slowed down, to allow Shirogane to catch up and explain himself.

Oh—and for Tamase, as well.

Shirogane is not my sole purpose.  
That would be too conceited of a purpose.

And besides, I find his presence rather annoying.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Shirogane, are you making fun of us?

This is much better.  
It is better that I've decided to run beside them, so I wouldn't have to waste my breath yelling.

 **(Shirogane)**  
Apologies, Squad Leader.  
But I've no intention of making fun of anyone.

 _Squad Leader...?_

Somehow, when said that way, it feels—off?  
Though it only feels off when it's coming from Shirogane.

And what's with his attitude and somber tone?

For no particular reason, Shirogane struck me as a high-spirited, clueless, undisciplined, rambunctious grandstander, and yet the character beside me is the very antonym of these descriptors.

It's kind of annoying, but I wonder why?

There's nothing wrong with his present personality,  
although my former prejudice would've been more—entertaining, I should say?

On second thought—where did these preconceptions come from in the first place?  
I'm not here to seek fun anyway!

 **(Chizuru)  
** Then may I ask why are you pacing beside Tamase?  
You could've run this course two times over by now.  
And Tamase, how are you holding up–?

Hey—

Why are Tamase's eyes... closed?

 **(Chizuru)**  
Tamase? You better open your eyes to see where you're running.

Or else you might bump into other people, much like a certain individual who shall remain unmentioned.

 **(Tamase)  
** B–!

 **(Shirogane)  
** Keep 'em closed, Tama, we're almost there.

 **(Chizuru)**  
Shirogane, what prank are you trying to pull on Tamase?

 **(Tamase)  
** B–!

 **(Shirogane)**  
Don't worry, Tama, leave the talking to me.  
Focus on your breathing.

 _Hmm?_

Is that what's going on here?

I could see why he'd ask her to close her eyes so she could concentrate on her breathing, but surely there are other ways to accomplish said goal.  
I guess it's been working so far? By controlling her breathing, she's been able to run this track a bit better.

Shirogane—that's a rather canny method you're practicing on Tamase.

 **(Shirogane)**  
Squad Leader, if I may,  
you don't have to worry about Tama and me.  
We would've met up with you at the finish line.

Again with that— _Squad Leader_ , he says.

 **(Chizuru)  
** That isn't the issue here!  
Tama—I mean, Tamase, can take care of herself!  
You should've just gone ahead so you could proceed to the next exercise!

 **(Tamase)  
** She's right, Takeru-saaan–

Takeru—I mean, Shirogane, placed a hand on her shoulder, so Tamase hushed herself to once again focus on her breathing.

 **(Shirogane)  
** As I said, we'll get there when we get there,  
and there's nothing wrong if I get there with Tama, now is there?  
As long as Tama is behind, Shirogane will be there at her side.  
I'm trying to help out the way I know how, is all.

 _Hmphh!_

Stop uttering mature words, Shirogane!  
It's completely throwing off my impression of a childish you!

I probably look like a villain, the way I'm trying to put a stop to Shirogane's helping hand.

But seriously! There's no way he's doing this out of the kindness of his heart, right?  
There's just—no way!

In all my life, I've never known anyone, man or woman, to be this generous without an underlying condition.

There _has_ to be some ulterior motive!  
And whatever it is, I'll yank it out of him, sooner or later.

 **(Chizuru)  
** _*sigh*_  
If you insist...  
We're here anyway–

 **(Shirogane)**  
– _Shh!_

He shushed me! He—shushed me!  
The audacity!

 _Huh?_

 **(Tamase)  
** What is it, Takeru-san? Sakaki-san?  
Are we there yet?  
I'm almost out of breath!

 **(Shirogane)**  
We're almost there, Tama.  
You're doing swell, one more click 'til we're done.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Shiro...gane?

 **(Shirogane)  
** Right, Squad Leader?  
Hang in there, Tama, and remember to breathe.

 **(Tamase)  
** _Nnnnnn..._

How... are you doing this?

 _'_ _What're you trying to prove, Shirogane?'_ I had asked him...  
I no longer need an answer, now that I realize what he's up to.

And. It's... selfless... and... rather inspiring...

 _Gaaah!_

Why are you doing this to me, Shirogane?!  
What you're doing to me... is so... unfair...

You're confusing my brain, and now... my heart...

 _*sigh*_

A deep sigh escapes me in between breaths as I give myself in to Shirogane's ploy.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Yes, he's right.  
But keep your eyes closed, Tamase.  
The finish line is just up ahead.  
You're doing it, we're almost there–

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Tsundere..._

 _Eh?_

Look who decided to rejoin our run.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Ayamine! What did you say?!  
Come here and say it to me straight–

Goodness!

She switched to the other side of Shirogane—she's using him as a meat shield!

 **(Ayamine)  
** I wasn't talking to you.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Yes you were! You clearly whispered in my ear!

 **(Ayamine)  
** Then don't play dumb if you heard me clearly.

 **(Chizuru)  
** You—!

That... coward! If only she weren't hiding behind Shirogane!

By the way, I didn't hear what she had whispered in my ear.  
I really didn't.

 _Huh?_

What is it now?

It's—Mitsurugi.

She has also rejoined us, keeping step at my side.

At my other side—the side farthest from Shirogane, I have to point out.

She's not saying anything, however.

 **(Tamase)  
** Kei-san...?

 **(Shirogane)  
** _Shhhhh_...

He's lulling her like you would a baby, or a pet.

 **(Shirogane)**  
Breathe, Tama.  
Half a click left, and we'll be done.

 **(Tamase)  
** Takeru-saaan... I feel like you said 'one more click' over two clicks ago...

 _Hah_.

What now, Shirogane?

You might've had a good idea by getting her to keep her eyes shut, but there is no way you can deceive Tamase's sense of distance.

That's right—her sense of distance is unnaturally accurate.

The jig is up, so to speak–

 **(Mitsurugi)  
** That is the fatigue speaking to you, Tamase.  
Do not resign to it now, not when we are so close to the end.  
Half a kilometer, you have my word.

Mitsu...rugi? You too?

To think that even Mitsurugi would join in this deception,  
Shirogane...kun...  
I can never hope to accomplish what you are accomplishing right now...

 **(Jinguuji-sensei)  
** 207!  
How much longer will you keep this up!

 _Ah_. Jinguuji-sensei is about to break it off.

But... I have never felt... a connection... such as this... with... everyone...

This moment... is... laughably memorable...  
And it's because of... Shirogane-kun...

Sorry, Jinguuji-sensei.  
I cannot allow this moment... this accomplishment... to end on a sour note.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Squad Leader?

 **(Chizuru)  
** _Uh?_

 **(Shirogane)  
** Instr. Jinguuji asked our squad a question,  
shouldn't our leader give her an answer?

Shirogane...kun...  
What you're doing to me... is just too unfair...

 **(Chizuru)  
** I don't need you to remind me,  
I was just about to answer her.  
 _Baka…_

Without allowing him to retort, I close my eyes, and as loudly as I can, I respond,

 **(Chizuru)  
** Ma'am!  
As long as Tamase is behind, her whole squad will be at her side,  
Ma'am!

I stole his line...  
I can't help but quietly laugh and be annoyed at my pitiful self.

 **(Tamase)  
** Takeru-san! I'm seriously at my limit!  
I give up! I don't care if I don't make it!  
I'm stopping now–!

 **(Shirogane)  
** On my count, Tama, we'll be at the finish line.

 **(Tamase)  
** Then hurry up and start counting! Pleeease!

 **(Shirogane)  
** Ten... nine... eight...

Ayamine, an otherwise taciturn persona, strangely joins the count.

 **(Shirogane and Ayamine)  
** Seven... six... five...

And beside me, I hear Mitsurugi whispering softly.

 **(Mitsurugi)  
** Four... three... two...

 **(Tamase)  
** One!  
 _Haaa... haaa... haaa..._

On the final count, the whole lot of us brakes all together.

As if I was finally freed from a heavy pressure on my chest (actually, this might be more literal than it is figurative), I quickly pick up my collar and ruffle my shirt repeatedly to cool down the copious sweat on my upper body, at the same time panting for as much air as I can take in.

I thought I'd have to race yet again to get to the water taps, but that turned out to be a needless worry, as Ayamine and Mitsurugi are making no effort to compete for a gulp of cold water.

In fact, the two of them are leaning both of their hands on their knees, shoulders hunched, also sweating bullets, and motionless—if not for their own gasps.

Oxygen is their drink of choice.

Shirogane has his hands on his hips with his head to the sky, although he's facing the direction opposite to the whole squad. His neck is notably glistening with perspiration. I can see the back of his shoulders heave along with his steady breathing.

Meanwhile, poor Tamase is the most beat out of us all.

She's lying on the dirt, her hair terribly disheveled,  
with her chest also moving up and down as her lungs struggle to recoup her breathing.

At the corner of my eye, Jinguuji-sensei appears to be walking toward us.  
She has quite a bit of extra distance to cover (thanks to the deception spearheaded by Shirogane).

 **(Shirogane)  
** You can open your eyes now, Tama.

 **(Tamase)  
** _Haaa... haaa... haaa..._  
I hate you sooo much, Takeru-san~...  
You're telling me to open my eyes now that I actually want to keep them closed~...

This whole scene is just... comical... so, even though I didn't mean to, I giggled, unable to hold it back...

Ayamine and Mitsurugi both tilt their heads to look at me,  
surprise written all over their faces.

 **(Chizuru)  
** W–what's the matter?

Tamase, still on the ground, and still with her eyes closed, offers me an explanation.

 **(Tamase)  
** You've never laughed like that, Sakaki-san.  
Do you really think it's funny that I look like this~?

Oh—crap!

She thinks I'm laughing at her! When I'm not!  
I'm being misunderstood!

But, before I get the chance to make myself clear, I hear another chuckle.  
From Ayamine.  
And another chuckle—from Mitsurugi.

They both started giggling, too.  
Tamase's loud laughter mixes in with theirs soon after.

As exhausted as they are, they're all sparing a moment to laugh at how spent we must all look—

I keep saying 'all', but I guess I shouldn't.

Shirogane still has his back to us, taking no part in their amusement.

 _'_ _Tough crowd. Why does he have to be way too serious. Loosen up, jeez,'_ are the opinions that form in my mind.

Oh well, let him be.

Anyway, before I know it, I'm joining in the laughter as well, though not for too long.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Atten–tion!

Everyone stands upright in attention as Jinguuji-sensei arrives.  
Everyone—that is, except Tamase, who is still lying on the ground.

 **(Jinguuji-sensei)  
** At ease.  
Especially you, Tamase. Don't bother standing up.  
And Sakaki. Splendid work, Squad Leader.

She beams proudly at me, however...

 **(Chizuru)  
** Sensei, this was all Shirogane's doing–

I try to reason, but my voice is drowned by Shirogane's during mid-sentence.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Squad Leader pulled through for us,  
Although sensei, I believe Tama deserves some recognition too.

He's giving me too much credit,  
but at least he's shifting the limelight to Tamase instead of me, as it should be.

He tricked Tamase.  
 _We_ tricked Tamase.

What Shirogane did, I could never have come up with on my own...

The end of the track is four kilometers ago.

That's right—we crossed the ten-kilometer line way back there.

Tamase ran 14 kilometers in one go; no breaks in between.

She has never ran past the ten-kilometer mark, since the rest of us are usually waiting for her at the finish line long before she arrives.  
And she's usually dead-beat by the time she gets there.

But today, here she is, four kilometers over her personal best,  
by virtue of the dramatic illusion that Shirogane had orchestrated.

He told her to keep her eyes shut as we ran.  
He promised her the finish line was 'very close' and 'just up ahead' every time she asked.  
He stayed at her side from start to finish.

And so.

By not realizing where the true finish line was,  
by obscuring the limits Tamase has placed in her head,  
Tamase kept going, and kept running, and running,  
relying only on his voice.

 **(Jinguuji-sensei)  
** Of course—that goes without saying.  
Tamase, you broke a personal record!  
We're proud of you.

 **(Tamase)  
** Shirogane lied to me.  
 _Haaa... haaa... haaa..._  
I think we ran an extra 4000 yards past the finish line.

 _'_ _Ahaha,'_ I shake my head weakly, without making a sound.  
That was an eerily accurate guess.

For all that, even though Tamase has yet to open her eyes, it was ultimately impossible to deceive her sense of distance.

And still, with her sense of sight blocked, but her sense of distance fully functional—

Tamase _allowed_ Shirogane to trick her...

Now, Sakaki Chizuru—as opposed to what you may have been led to believe so far—is actually fond of illusions.

Liars, frauds, cons, I despise with a passion.

Illusions, on the other hand, I find very interesting.

Only because they remind me that a lot can change depending on your point of view, and I've never been good at accommodating other points of views...

And from my perspective, I originally believed that Shirogane was mocking us.  
That—or he was playing a prank on Tamase.

How wrong that turned out to be.

I wonder what Tamase's point of view was, knowingly allowing herself to be tricked by Shirogane...

Whatever her reasons were, perhaps I can learn a thing or two.

As I try to figure out the lesson to be learned,

 **(Jinguuji-sensei)**  
But more importantly, I'm proud of all of you.

Jinguuji-sensei continues talking, further adding to my confusion.

I mean, sure—  
We almost covered fifty percent more distance than our assigned exercise,  
but that's not really worth being proud of, not when we need to eventually run 20 clicks anyway–

 **(Jinguuji-sensei)  
** For sticking together, as a unified squadron.  
When the going gets tough, I'm glad to know you'll have each other's backs.  
What normally takes other soldiers years to realize, you displayed in today's exercise.

 _Ah_.

But, once again, that was all Shirogane's doing...  
The whole squad banded together—but that was Shirogane's doing.

I'm the acting squad leader, but only in name, and name alone.

Shirogane Takeru would make a better squad leader than me...

 **(Jinguuji-sensei)**  
I think it's time for a duly deserved recess.  
Reconvene here in 30 minutes.  
 _Ah_ —Tamase, you can take the full hour if you'd like.  
Dismiss!

 **(Everyone)  
** Yes Ma'am!

Ayamine and Mitsurugi jog away immediately, I'm guessing towards the locker room.  
I should follow them, but—I'll take my time. No need to rush.

 _Hmm._ You know.

Mitsurugi's behaviour has been curious as of late.  
Why do I get the feeling that she's avoiding Shirogane somehow?

. . .

I must be imagining things.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Squad Leader? Care to help me with Tamase?

 **(Chizuru)  
** _Huh?_ Oh.

I had almost forgotten about the girl lying on the ground.

Wait a minute—did she pass out?  
She's unresponsive, it seems...

 **(Chizuru)  
** Sure.

Shirogane then hoists Tamase up from the dirt, and we each place an arm of hers over our necks.

Of course, Shirogane has to crouch and walk a bit lower so as to not lift Tamase's feet completely off the ground.  
That's very considerate of him.  
And here I thought that he was a clueless guy.

What a lesson in first impressions.

So, we walk like this to the ladies' locker room.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Thanks for the help, Squad Leader.

 _Hm?_ He's talking to me, but.

 _Urrr!_

There it is again.  
I've heard enough of _that_!

 **(Chizuru)  
** Quit it with the Squad Leader this, Squad Leader that.

 **(Shirogane)  
** What do you mean?

 **(Chizuru)  
** Stop calling me 'Squad Leader'!

 **(Shirogane)**  
But, you're–

 **(Chizuru)  
** Just. Don't.  
It's too proper, coming from you.

Was that why I founded it 'off' all along?  
Because it sounded too 'proper'?

 **(Chizuru)  
** –Please.

I hurriedly add, remembering my common decency.

I sound like I'm being nitpicky,  
and it sounds like I'm picking on Shirogane.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Then... what should I call you?  
Was 'Sakaki-san' alright after all?

 **(Chizuru)  
** _Nghh_ —no.

That still doesn't sound right. As a matter of fact, it sounds worse.

Not only is it my father's name, but it's Shirogane who has to mention it.  
It feels out of place, coming from Shirogane.

I forbid it. I forbid Shirogane (and only Shirogane) from calling me by my father's name any further.

 **(Chizuru)  
** But neither should you call me by my first name.

'Chizuru' is definitely out of the question.  
We aren't so intimate that I'd be comfortable with him calling me in such a familiar manner.

That leaves us with—nothing left.

I've denied him every possible option...

 **(Shirogane)  
**...How about... Class rep?

 **(Chizuru)  
** Class rep?

Class rep? Seriously?

Is he serious? He's _too_ serious!

Short for 'Class Representative', Class rep is too solemn for a nickname.  
Might as well go back to Squad Leader at this rate–

 **(Shirogane)  
** Isn't it fitting, though?  
You're the top of the class.  
You're an outstanding athlete.  
A model soldier—

 **(Chizuru)  
** Alright, alright!  
Enough already!

 _Phew!_

That idiot is prattling embarrassing words about me in front of Tamase.  
(I don't care if her eyes are closed, she might only be pretending!)

He had me at 'fitting'.

Because, similar to how it just felt timely to call him an idiot a few times earlier (as rude as it was),  
I do agree that it sounds—fitting.  
Not for the reasons he shamelessly prattled, however.

Fitting—in a sense that it comes to me naturally.  
Like I've been called that before, in a sweet dream, one where you wake up from, only to forget...

But now, I seem to have some proof of my bittersweet dream...

 **(Chizuru)**  
Class rep...  
You can call me Class rep, Shirogane...

 **(Shirogane)  
** Then I shall call you Class rep, Class rep.

Shirogane asserts without looking at me.

Such a serious fellow.

But at least...  
He's not like those serious-types of people who never talk to you,  
or the serious-types who avoid other people altogether,  
or the serious-type like my father, who was very difficult (and very scary) to even approach.

He's been acting like the type who only speaks when something important needs to be said,  
so he's not a completely lost cause.

I guess I could live with that, although I wish he were more talkative, for no particular reason...

 **(Chizuru)  
** Shirogane?

 **(Shirogane)  
** Yeah?

While I would prefer to look into the other person's eyes while talking to them, our current circumstance is preventing that from happening.

If only Tamase weren't in between us.  
If only it were just Shirogane and me—

 _Ah_ —no, I didn't mean that.  
Forget what you just thought, Chizuru.

 **(Chizuru)  
** What you just did...  
How did you come up with that?

 **(Shirogane)  
** Oh, that.  
I learned that from a good friend.  
But you're being too modest, Class rep.  
I don't think it would've been as effective if you hadn't joined us.

 **(Chizuru)  
** _Eh?_ Modest?  
If anyone's being modest, it'd be you, Shirogane.  
The others joined us because of you, not because of me–

I tell him what I truthfully believe—that he might make a better squad leader than me...

But then, he retorts.

 **(Shirogane)  
** And I'm saying the opposite.  
Class rep, _you_ are the squad leader, whether you admit it or not.  
Like Tamase, I think you ought to believe in yourself a bit more.

 _Nghh._

 _Stop. Uttering. Mature. Words!_

It's annoying! Because—what he's saying is right...  
What has come over me, for me to start doubting my own leadership...?

 **(Chizuru)  
**. . . **  
**Do you really think I would make a good squad leader, Shirogane?

I ask his honest opinion while kicking a random stone on the ground as we continue walking.  
If I hadn't kicked it, I would've stumbled and toppled the three of us over.

 **(Shirogane)**  
I don't think so.

 **(Chizuru)**  
. . .

I take back every good thing I have said about him until now.

 **(Shirogane)**  
I know so.

 **(Chizuru)**  
. . .

I take back every bad thing I have said about him until now.

 **(Shirogane)**  
And for what it's worth, you can always count on me to follow your lead.

 _Aha!_ As they say in shogi, when the King is under fire— _Check._

 **(Chizuru)  
** But Shirogane, you didn't answer me the first time I called you during the exercise!

Don't say you'd follow my orders if you can't even follow the simplest one!

 **(Shirogane)  
** Wait, you said something?  
You must excuse me, if that's the case.  
I didn't hear you at all.  
Tama had a lot of objections at first, so my hands were full.  
Until you appeared, at least.  
She only became more cooperative the moment you joined us.

 **(Chizuru)**  
. . .

I got counter-Checked...

How is that even possible?  
How does the defending King counter-Check the opposing King?

 **(Shirogane)  
** So like I said, stop downplaying your role as our squad leader, Class rep.

 **(Chizuru)**  
. . .

 _Damn._ I utterly miscalculated his ability to formulate longer sentences.  
I foolishly believed he was a man of few words.

I haven't considered the events from his perspective...

Also— _Tama_.  
That's what he calls Tamase Miki.

Is that a reference to 'tama', the word for 'soul',  
or Tama, the most common pet name for household cats?

This is my attempt at dodging his counter-Check, by the way.

 **(Shirogane)  
** It may not seem like it, Class rep,  
but everyone understands our role in this squadron.  
I'm not the only one who thinks you'd make a very capable leader.

I don't think he has fully grasped our current situation, because Ayamine–

 **(Shirogane)  
** Even Ayamine does.

What the–!

It's like he could read my mind.

 **(Shirogane)  
** But maybe work on your listening skills a little bit more.  
Ayamine has her ideas too, you know.  
I think she just wants to be listened to, and not just heard.  
Hearing and listening sound the same, but they can be quite different.

 **(Chizuru)  
**. . .

This time, he criticized me.

That was quite... reassuring... to my ears...

Up until now, he's been giving me nothing but praises, and making me feel important.  
Like all those frauds I grew up with in the high courts and government offices.

The frauds whose generosity always came with an underlying condition.

I've been lured by their 'kindness' before,  
so I've had my guard up against Shirogane—up until now...

 _Honesty..._

That's all I ever really want out of the people around me.

And—it's surprising... coming from Shirogane...

Shirogane Takeru. The Knight in White Armour...

 _Khhh..._

I'm beginning to think that my earlier (and current) annoyance—was in fact, not annoyance at all.  
But rather, disappointment?

Disappointment—at Shirogane Takeru.

For not being a fraud with an ulterior motive…

For being a good apple in a rotten bunch...

For being... a genuine man...

I should be glad... at this outcome...  
I think... I now am...

 **(Chizuru)  
** To listen, and not just hear, huh?  
That's sound advice, Shirogane...  
I'll keep that in mind...

Still and all, this will be a tough endeavour.

I don't get along too well with Ayamine, for good reasons.  
She just never seems like she's putting any real effort into anything she does, and I hate that about her...  
Frankly, on the flip side, I don't know why Ayamine doesn't like me either.  
She's never been upfront about it—and I hate that reticent side of her just as much.

Nevertheless, if I heed Shirogane's advice, perhaps we can reach an understanding...

 _I will strive to be... the best leader I can be..._

With that being said.

Shirogane promised me that I can count on him,  
and he seems like the serious-type whose promises you can rely on.

Maybe that's all I'll need, for the time being.

Actually—let me put that to the test right now.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Hey.

 **(Shirogane)  
** What is it?

 **(Chizuru)  
** Jump.

Will he do it?

 **(Shirogane)  
** What? Why?

 **(Chizuru)  
** _Baka ne, Shirogane!_  
You said you'd follow my lead!

 **(Shirogane)  
** _Hah_...

He smirks.

 **(Shirogane)  
** That's the Class rep that I know.  
Another time. Tama might wake up.

 _Wha–?_

 _'_ _That's the Class rep that I know'?_

That's a strange thing to say, no matter which perspective I take.

 **(Chizuru)**  
. . .

But, I decide to let this one slip... just this one time...

Because the more we talk,  
the more I believe my bittersweet dream wasn't just a mere dream...

 **(Shirogane)  
** We're all counting on you, Class rep.  
So you focus on being a good squad leader,  
and we'll work on becoming trustworthy members.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Yes, definitely.  
Then from now on, I'll be keeping a close eye on you, Shirogane.  
As my subordinate—don't get the wrong idea!

 **(Shirogane)  
** Sounds good.

 _Hmm._

I'm curious. How far could I push this?

 **(Chizuru)  
** And next time, if I order you to jump off a cliff, you would jump off a cliff.

 **(Shirogane)  
** I would have it no other way.

 **(Chizuru)**  
. . .

Nothing.

Not a reaction out of him.

Not a laugh, not a smile, not even a complaint or a wise-guy crack.

What a serious fellow this 'Knight in White Armour' is...

 **(Shirogane)  
** Although I hope we'd never come to that.

 **(Chizuru)**  
I would never issue such a ridiculous order to begin with–!

 **(Shirogane)**  
And I'm not sure how we went from jumping over here to jumping off a cliff.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Stop being stupid–!

 **(Shirogane)**  
Of course. Sorry if that made you mad.

What? But why would I be mad?

 **(Chizuru)  
** I–I wasn't mad.

 **(Shirogane)  
**. . .  
You sure?

Of course I'm sure!

 **(Chizuru)**  
I'm not mad.

Do I sound mad...?

 **(Shirogane)**  
. . .

Don't go quiet just like that!

 **(Chizuru)**  
I said I wasn't mad!

This back and forth feels oddly nostalgic...

 _Hmph._

So what if he isn't a smiler?  
Or a laugher?  
Or a wise-guy?

These do not define his character.

As long as Shirogane stays as Shirogane,  
that's all that really matters.

He's still my Knight in White Armour...

And that makes me... glad...

 **(Chizuru)  
** Anyway, I'll take care of Tamase from here.

We couldn't have reached our destination at a better time.

Not only was the atmosphere getting awkward, but I've also been itching to change attires, because I've been feeling warmer all of a sudden.

Shirogane carefully removes Tamase's arm from over his shoulders, though he doesn't let go of her right away.  
He keeps his hands on Tamase until he's certain I have a good hold on her, which—I do.

Then just like that, he walks away without another word,  
I'm guessing toward the men's lockers.

Not that I was watching his back the whole time—I wasn't.

...

. . .

I... was...

...

Anyway, shaking him off my mind–

I open the door and drag the pink-haired girl in the direction of her locker,  
where I plan to bring her back into consciousness with a few harmless slaps on the cheeks.

The air is even heavier inside this room, no doubt due to the humidity from the multiple hot, running shower stalls.  
My glasses fogged up a bit only a few steps in.

So, let's get this over with, Tamase–

 **(Tamase)**  
Sakaki-san...

 _Hyaa?!_

Has she been conscious this whole time?!

That would mean—what did she hear?!

 _Uh-oh,_ this could get extremely troublesome—

 **(Tamase)  
** If you're trying to get to Takeru-san,  
you'll have to get through me.

 **(Chizuru)  
** _Huh?_

Everything.

The answer to _'What did she hear?'_ , is _'Everything'_.

In my head, there's a loud, mad laughter laughing at me.

Oh—that mad laughter belongs to me.

 **(Chizuru)  
** So that's how it's going to be, huh?

 **(Tamase)  
** _Eheh._

She lifts her tired face and giggles faintly.

I see.

Tamase—so that's why you allowed yourself to be tricked by Shirogane...  
I can't believe I didn't pick up on it right away...

 _*sigh*_

Even when we try to be logical, in the end, all our arguments and decisions are based on emotion.  
That's the way it was for Tamase, and that's the way it is... for me...

 **(Chizuru)  
** You're on, Tamase–

But then, I get interrupted.

A naked girl with a towel over her shoulders suddenly stops in front of us.

I have two qualms with this incident:

One—

Why isn't the naked girl using the towel to cover herself up?! And she's soaking wet! She just came fresh out of the showers!

Two—

What the hell, Ayamine!

Before I could voice these out, the bare-skinned Ayamine lifts her right hand and, with her index and middle fingers, points at Tamase and me at the same time.

 **(Ayamine)  
** Get in line.

 **(Chizuru)  
**. . .

 **(Tamase)**  
 _Ehehe._

As I stood there, confounded, Ayamine walks on ahead to her own locker.  
Like nothing happened.

That was—bizarre.

 **(Chizuru)  
** So, that's how it's going to be...

I understand them.

And not just Tamase.

Ayamine, included.

I understand them both.

Possibly for the first time since we've been together,  
we all shared a common ground.

Who would've thought that three ladies from 207 would share the same taste in men?


	18. Storm Brewing

**Chapter 18 – Storm Brewing**

* * *

 **Chizuru**

* * *

This cutthroat situation we've found ourselves in requires a bit of background,  
and it's probably best described from the lens of my eyes.

I'm of course alluding to the murderous atmosphere at our table in the PX this evening.

Time to backpedal a little.

* * *

Right after we re-assembled, Jinguuji-sensei had us perform light exercises until lunch hour (much to our relief). Our original schedule would've had us practicing field stripping until then, but who could've foreseen the unforeseen circumstance? ( _Ahem_... Shirogane).

Tamase joined us in time for lunch, of course.  
And I must say that, for a girl her size, she sure has one of the loudest laughs around.

I can't remember exactly what kind of conversation we had. It mustn't have been important, but it must've surely been about something funny, if I'm able to recall Tamase's loud laughs.

Oh—and like before, Shirogane didn't join in any of the amusement.  
And _un_ like before, neither did Mitsurugi.

At any rate, lunch ended uneventfully.

What happened after, might be considered eventful.

CQC—Close Quarters Combat training—made up the afternoon session.

Shirogane was paired up with Mitsurugi, and I with Ayamine.

Jinguuji-sensei allowed Tamase to help herself to range-shooting at her leisure.  
 _'Consider this your lucky break,'_ sensei had told her before taking off for another duty, leaving me in charge.

Ayamine and I chose to spar with wooden daggers.

 **(Chizuru)  
** You're a breath too fast!

 **(Ayamine)  
** You're a breath too slow.

Hold on—it wasn't _our_ pairing that made the afternoon eventful.  
Rather, it was Mitsurugi and Shirogane's—so I'll talk about theirs instead.

While Ayamine and I busied ourselves trying to best each other,  
(I really can't match her tempo, she's always a breath too fast!),  
Mitsurugi and Shirogane stole the scene with their _bokken_ —their wooden swords.

It was—beautiful, to behold.

Graceful, to say the least.

Watching the both of them sway their _bokken_ from up high and below and side to side,  
'twas like watching a dance between two virtuosos.

Even Ayamine had to give pause as we both forgot about our own practice.  
( _'By the way, Ayamine,'_ I told her at that time, _'that's what it looks like to match each other's tempo.'_ To which she replied with a shrug of her shoulders—and, a nod of her head).

Tamase uncharacteristically missed the bullseye of her target, her attention also stolen by the captivating sword dance before us.

Then—it got out of hand...

For reasons beyond my perspective, Shirogane's parries grew weaker and weaker (or so it seemed to me).

Because all the while, it not only appeared like they were exchanging blows, but words as well.  
And for every time I noticed their lips move, Mitsurugi's frown grew longer, and sterner (or so it seemed to me).

Was someone being taunted? Insulted? Humiliated, perhaps?  
What exactly had they been talking about?

To the present, I don't have the slightest clue...

What I do know is that it infuriated Mitsurugi.

A few touches later, Shirogane fell on his back, his _bokken_ out of his reach.

 **(Mitsurugi)  
** Where did you learn that swordsmanship?!

Mitsurugi had said from above him, this time loud enough for all of us to hear.

None of us knew what she was on about—I have to make clear.

She maintained a tight grasp on her _bokken_ , as though the disarmed Shirogane were still a threatening foe.

 **(Mitsurugi)**  
Who taught you that technique?!  
Answer me, Shirogane!

Shirogane, stoic as ever, thus provided her an answer,

 **(Shirogane)**  
If... if you lower your hips a bit more before you strike, you could get below your opponent's center and oust them easier.

I kid not—that _baka_ answered in such an outrageously, nonsensical manner.

And so it was rage.

Rage—was Mitsurugi's reception.

Raising her _bokken_ , she poised herself for another blow.  
A blow with the intent to injure.

The three of us ran to stop Mitsurugi, knowing we would never make it in time...  
Not even Jinguuji-sensei's outright order to _'Stop, Mitsurugi!'_ would've made it in time...

But there was no need for any of our interventions.

Shirogane had formed an X with his arms to receive the _bokken_ falling down on him,  
after which, he swiftly slid his arms along the wooden sword until he arrived at Mitsurugi's hands.

He kipped himself up from his supine position and, with the flick of his foot, he swept the back of Mitsurugi's legs and tripped her to the ground.

Shirogane made all this happen within the blink of an eye.  
He makes some of the toughest stunts look so easy...

So—their places were swapped.

Where Shirogane was just laid flat, Mitsurugi was now reclined.  
Where Mitsurugi was on top, Shirogane was now above.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Don't come any closer–

Shirogane then said, addressing our approach.

 **(Shirogane)**  
It's still part... of our exercise...

With Mitsurugi's hands still locked in Shirogane's, she eventually let go of her _bokken_.

 **(Mitsurugi)  
** _Ughh–_

Mitsurugi grunted as Shirogane released her.

I might've heard Shirogane say, _'I'm sorry,'_ as he let her go, but to that account, I cannot be certain.

Mitsurugi patted herself down and walked toward the water taps (or so I surmised, based on the direction she was taking).

Meanwhile, Ayamine and I rushed to Shirogane and each took one of his arms.

 **(Tamase)  
** Are you alright, Takeru-san...?

Of course, his arm was purple and bruised where the _bokken_ had hit him.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Yeah, I'm alrigh–  
 _Ow! Ow!_ Ayamine-san! Stop pressing!

 **(Ayamine)  
** Liar...

 **(Shirogane)**  
Alright alright, it does hurt, but–!  
Ayamine-san! _Ow ow ow!_

 **(Ayamine)  
**. . .

She kept pressing the bruise harder and harder, for some reason.

 **(Shirogane)**  
Ayamine! Come on!

To that, she finally stopped pressing, though she still held his arm.

I'm not sure if it was the _'Ow ow ow!'_ (which reminded me of the yap of a dog), or his removing the –san formality from her name, that had freed him from his harsh sentence.

 **(Shirogane)**  
Anyway, don't worry about me,  
go check up on Mitsurugi-san.

 **(Chizuru)**  
You really are stupid, do you know that?

Really now—how could he worry about Mitsurugi when he was obviously the one who got hurt?

 **(Chizuru)  
** Tamase, take Shirogane and grab him an ice pack.

 **(Tamase)**  
Roger.  
Takeru-san, may I see that–

As they walked away, I shifted my full attention to Mitsurugi.

I thought I should give her a severe talking-to.  
What she had done to a squadmate was unacceptable, despite how well Shirogane tried to hide it.

And as the squad leader, it was my duty to–

Forget that 'squad leader' talk!

I'd be flustered that she hurt Shirogane, whether I was the squad leader or not!

However, as I arrived at the water taps, she was nowhere to be found.

 _'Odd,'_ I thought to myself, _'I'm sure I saw her head this way.'_

It took a lot of willpower to calm down my nerves,  
and so I decided to save Mitsurugi for later, and follow up on Shirogane for now.

However...

On my way back, I was surprised to find Ayamine and Tamase standing in the shade with their backs to me.

 **(Chizuru)**  
Tamase, I thought I told you to take Shirogane and find him an–

Ayamine and Tamase swung their heads, revealing the scene in the foreground.

It was Shirogane, who was now sitting cross-legged on the earth.

There was an open first-aid kit beside him.

And.

Kneeling in front of Shirogane—was Mitsurugi.  
An ice pack in one hand,  
Shirogane's bruised arms in her other.

She was—treating him...

Her bangs concealed the upper half of her face,  
and I couldn't see her eyes,  
but her motions appeared as delicate as her temperament.

Shirogane had this defiant look on his own face (or so it seemed to me),  
and yet, he never uttered a sound...

 **(Chizuru)  
** Tamase, Ayamine, let's—clean up.

I urged them.

I believed it appropriate to leave Mitsurugi and Shirogane alone...  
Tamase and Ayamine must've thought so too, as they followed me and retrieved the _bokken_ and wooden daggers for storing...

I might've heard Mitsurugi whisper something to Shirogane as we departed, but to that account, I cannot be certain...

These were the events that had transpired this afternoon,  
straight from the glasses of Sakaki Chizuru.

* * *

It's not time to return to the present quite yet.

That cutthroat situation I had mentioned at the beginning—  
I'm almost there.

What happened this afternoon no doubt contributed to it, so I had to bring it up beforehand.

However.

That isn't the entire story.

I never ended up giving Mitsurugi the talking-to I had said I would,  
although I'm now convinced that there really is a schism between her and Shirogane.

The answer to ' _Why?'_ would be a nice answer to know.

But it isn't my place to pry into their lives...

By the time we had gathered in the PX, Mitsurugi appeared to have regained her composure,  
while Shirogane—well, he's still the serious Knight in White Armour...

Oh—and the reason I didn't talk to Mitsurugi is because Shirogane's purple bruises are plenty enough to remind her.

In any case, we all went for supper together.  
And this was when the murderous atmosphere invaded Squad 207's table.

Passions would've remained calm if _she_ hadn't arrived.  
We would've been eating our meal like always, with the occasional conversation coming up in between.

And it began only a few short moments ago.

The moment when an unfamiliar girl sat down beside Shirogane, claiming Yoroi's usual seat as though it were her own.

This unfamiliar girl—with the thick southern-Kyushu accent.  
With hair as black as a moonless night, and eyes as grey as a cloudy sky.

She reminded me of an incoming storm...

She, with her plain-vanilla beauty, yet rich in the feminine qualities of a traditional Japanese.

I hate to admit, that this unfamiliar girl was very... very...

—Pretty.

But!

She was cozying up to Shirogane!

 _'Who is this unfamiliar girl?!'_ I questioned myself then.

None of us paid any attention to her at first.  
Like myself, the others must've thought that this unfamiliar girl was at the wrong table.

She walked up behind Shirogane, paused, and still from his behind, slapped him on his right cheek out of nowhere.

I could barely believe what I had just seen.

It was a quick, sudden slap—and it didn't sound painless either.  
That chopping noise it made—she had really meant for it to leave a mark!

Needless to say, Shirogane reacted like any normal human being would.  
He turned his head around to find the source of the surprise, but the source wasn't there.

She had hopped to his left side, outside of his field of vision.

So he again spun his head around, and again, she had hopped to the other end.

As though she were playing with Shirogane.

None of us said anything.  
No one _could have_ said anything.  
I mean—what could we have said to this uncalled-for downturn of events?

Their 'game' ended when the girl took the vacant seat next to Shirogane.  
The seat that is Yoroi's regular seat.

 **(Strange girl)**  
Takeruuuuuu~!  
Say—your cheek is kinda red.  
Don't blush like that while I'm around!  
You'll make me blush too!

 **(Ayamine)  
** His cheek is red because of you...

 _Takeru_ —she had called him. Even I am not that intimate with Shirogane!

And yet, this girl whom I've never seen before–!  
How could this be!

 **(Strange girl)  
** _Nee, nee,_ what're you eating Takeru?  
That looks delicious!  
May I—wait a minute.  
Goddammit Takeru,  
where did you get this bruise?!

That was when I couldn't hold myself back any longer.  
I just had to speak up then and there.

 **(Chizuru)**  
Excuse me—

I thought about asking her if she had perhaps mistaken our table for another,  
but the fact that she knew Shirogane by name steered me to come up with another line of questioning.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Who exactly are you?

A little rude, but direct to the point.

And no—I wasn't being rude because I was mad that she had slapped Shirogane.

I was being rude because—I was mad she had slapped Shirogane...

 **(Strange girl)**  
I'm Takeru's girlfriend~.

 _'Whaaat?!'_ I screamed inside.

But out loud, I said calmly instead,

 **(Chizuru)**  
E–e–e–e–excuse me?

. . .

So much for 'calmly'.

 **(Strange girl)**  
 _Eh?_ Do you maybe have hearing problems?  
I said I'm _Takeru's_ _frrrienddd_.

Hearing problems?

Was I really hearing things?

 **(Chizuru)**  
O–o–oh.

Ignoring her snide comment, I sighed to myself in relief.

Beside 'Takeru's friend', I spotted Ayamine's wide eyes fixated on me.

 _'What is it?'_ I mouthed to her soundlessly to elude the unfamiliar girl's notice.

 _'I know what you heard,'_ Ayamine's lips read.

What I heard—if she believed I heard 'Takeru's girlfriend', she was dead-wrong.

 _'Whatever it is you think I heard, you're wrong,'_ my eyes relayed to her the sentiment.

 _'! #$–,'_ replied hers.

That was the end of our clandestine conversation.

What was that anyway, Ayamine?  
I haven't been able to decipher that until now.

Soon—I believe she had meant.  
Soon what?

 **(Strange girl)  
** Kukiko. My name is Kuki.  
The pleasure's all mine, Tamase-san~.

Kuki. She had said.

Kukiko. Child of the Snow, huh?

But more importantly—whose side are you on, Tamase?!

 **(Shirogane)  
** Cookie, a word, if you please.

Shirogane finally spoke for the first time since she showed up.

 **(Kukiko)**  
I can hear you, Takeru.  
But wouldn't a word be too little to make a full point?

 **(Shirogane)**  
 _In private._

Shirogane's voice might've been strained at that time, I can't quite remember anymore.

The both of them—they stood up and left the table.

* * *

These.

These events have led us to this tense moment, and that is how we got here, with this cutthroat feeling surrounding the atmosphere.

I would like to finish my meal, but the whole debacle that had just occurred has made me lose my appetite.

 _Hmmmm?_

Mitsurugi is clutching her chopsticks upside-down like you would a knife...


	19. Eye of the Storm

**Chapter 19 – Eye of the Storm**

* * *

 **Kukiko**

* * *

 _I see everything. This is my gift._

 _. . ._

I'm kidding! I was shooting for a dramatic entry, as every main character would.

That might've been an overstatement.

Actually—what if the truth were otherwise?  
Whether I really am exaggerating or not is open for discussion.

But if a pin were to drop on the far side of the room, I'd notice it.

If a mosquito were to stray into the building, I would notice.

If a—

You get the picture.

It's not like I spend any effort into minding such things, I just happen to be wary of everything.

I just—am.

From gum under people's shoes to the lice in their hair to a wrinkle (and twinkle) in their eyes, I see it all.

 _Hrm._

It might be difficult to prove the second point, as I've never actually seen anyone with lice around these parts, but what the hell, right?  
Until I'm proven wrong, I'll stick to this claim!

And the fact that there aren't even ants in here is a fact probably only known by my brother and me.

This base's vermin and pest control is the best I've seen, anyway.  
Maybe not as pristine as the Imperial buildings,  
but it definitely dwarfs the living standards of my old home.  
(Not that my old home had any standards to begin with).

The numbskulls in here don't realize how good they have it...

Add this as a fine print to my original declaration:  
That I can see everything, and see what can't be seen.

Seeing that which is present, and seeing that which is absent.

There are two ways to _look_ at this ( _see_ what I did here?).

I can faintly see that there are more red lines than usual _present_ in the Prof's sclera.  
A sign that she hasn't been getting enough rest lately.

At the same time, I can see that Tae's hair-tie is _absent_.  
She must've been running late again, and forgotten it in her hurry.  
A common occurrence for the ditzy Tsukiji Tae.

The second way to interpret my claim is—

I can see the surface (that which is present),  
and also what is underneath it (that which is absent).

This one is a bit more complicated, so, bear with me.

Most people would be satisfied with only seeing the dance that's playing on-stage.  
After all, being aware of what happens behind the curtains might be a can of worms you'd rather leave unopened.

I say 'can of worms', but in my case, it's more like toothpaste.  
I've peeked behind the curtains before. I've been behind the curtains before.  
As a result, there's no un-squeezing this toothpaste back into its tube...

Fukui Kukiko finds it more rewarding to study what's taking place behind the scenes,  
more so than watching the scene that's playing on-stage.

It'd be even more fun if I were the dancer on-stage, rather than a watcher in the audience.  
 _*sighhh~*_  
Wishful thinking...

Anyhow—why do I have to make this point, you might be wondering.

Well, I just thought I should.

Because otherwise, my newfound fascination with Shirogane Takeru would make no sense as we go along.

I'll have to hold that thought for later, though.  
I'm a little busy right now.

Let me get back to the scene I'm currently in before I get in trouble:

We're all in the briefing room, but it's not for another mission.

Kouzuki-sensei is rambling center stage, with First Lt. Elena Piatif working the projector.

Aniki's seat is beside mine.  
His breath reeks of coffee.  
(I'm not a coffee drinker myself. While I do enjoy the aroma, I find it too bitter for my palates).

There's a pink swelling on the older Suzumiya's fourth finger, which tells me she's been writing recently.

The younger Suzumiya has been stealing furtive glances at Anego.  
It's covert, but not covert enough to slip my notice.

Oh boy.

She is juuust smitten, isn't she?

 _Ohooo_ —and someone's been gaining a bit of weight, it looks like.  
The buttons on her uniform are more tightly stretched over her breasts.

...

. . .

. . . .

Never mind. That lucky bitch is gaining weight in the right places.

Don't worry though. I won't mention who it is to protect her privacy.  
Her secret is safe with me.

Isn't she lucky that it was a sweetheart like me who noticed~?

That aside.

I'm serious—this game of sleuths is all child's play to me.  
I could've been a professional gumshoe in another life.

 _*sighhh~*_

It really is unfair that life is so short...

There are so many things I want to be…  
So many things I want to do…

 _Hmph..._

Oh—my brother is off-limits, by the way.

We have a mutual understanding when it comes to nosing around each other's lives.

I'll stay off of his back and he'll stay off of mine,  
so don't expect me to bring up anything personal about him.

He's not up to anything interesting right now, anyway.  
Unless you find munching on protein bars interesting, which I don't, sooo—

Let's see here...

Oh, oh! Here's a new one:

Senpai has been twiddling her necktie ever since we assembled.

If Isumi-senpai is that nervous, it must mean that we're in for one of the Prof's surprises.

The nature of the surprise, whether it's a good one or a terrifying one—I can't deduce just yet.  
Senpai tends to have the same reaction to all of Kouzuki-sensei's surprises, so her twiddling alone isn't enough info to go on.

Of course, I would probably know the answer right away had I been paying attention in the first place—

 **(Kouzuki-sensei)**  
Kukiko! Since you've been sighing a lot,  
repeat what I just said!

 _Woopsie._

She called me out because I look bored,  
and the reason I look bored is because—I am.

I was even in the middle of another deep sigh just as she volunteered my participation.  
That's not exactly 'volunteering' if someone else has to volunteer you, is it?

Nevertheless, like one of those fancy computerized voices, I recite my answer boorishly,

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Haiii_ ~!  
I could bypass the Fly-by-Light control system and make my own library of posturing commands!

 **(Kouzuki-sensei)**  
. . .

It was lightning-quick, but I caught the slightest twitch on the Prof's left eyelid before she continued with the grand reveal of her latest project.  
Something about an 'XM3' system, from what I've picked up so far.

However—nice try, sensei.

She tried to catch me unawares and make me look silly in front of everyone.  
An impossible undertaking.

As I said, for better or for worse, I am wary of all of my surroundings.

She wasn't too happy when I turned it back on her.

 _Hehe~._

Tell you what, though—I don't actually understand what the Prof is explaining to us.

All this mumbo-jumbo about 'parallel processing' and 'circumventing the safety avoidance systems' and 'syncing adaptive patterns' is a whole 'nother world to me.

The good news is that I don't _have_ to understand it.  
As long as I can repeat it, like I did just now, I can make it sound like I do.

Besides, it's not my job to dissect every bit and byte of the intricacies of TSF machinery.  
I'll leave that role to the people smarter than me.

Speaking of people smarter than me—

Have you noticed anything peculiar?

If you're thinking about how I'm self-aware and breaking the fourth wall, _bzzzt!_

Think again.

Kouzuki-sensei does this anyway, albeit in a different context.

She talks like there's a third party in her own head, but that's only because doing so excites her brain fluids, and that's how she comes up with her brilliant theories.

Also, she's teetering on the fine divide between genius and madness.  
So—you know...

As for me, I'm only doing so just in case someone out there is writing my life story, so I want my reader to feel me.

Anyhow, have you found out what the peculiarity is?

'Kouzuki-sensei', you say?

 _Ding-ding-ding!_ We have a winner!

And that's not a reference to Dr. Motoko, the Prof's endearing older sister.

Kouzuki Yuuko is—my teacher. My sensei.

Now, Ryuu and I have already had formal education under Aniki's instruction,  
so don't be surprised if we're not just another bunch of illiterate good-for-nothing orphans.

My education with Kouzuki-sensei is different. She's tutoring me under a specialized discipline of the sciences.

It's funny though, because it's a discipline far removed from her area of expertise.  
For which—I really don't care.

I just want her to be my teacher, plain and simple.

This is our agreement.  
This is part of the reason why I've agreed to be here.

In exchange for offering her my gifts and my life,  
Kouzuki Yuuko has agreed to be my sensei.

I'm not stupid enough to be here for free, and neither is my brother.

In fact, I don't believe anyone here is, to be honest.

It's the universal rule of Equivalent Exchange.

 _'The Laws of Conversation',_ and all that jazz.

 **(Ryuu)**  
It's 'Laws of _Conservation'_ , Nee-chan.  
And stop thinking out loud, I can hear you in my head.

 **(Kukiko)**  
I did say _Conservation_ –

 **(Ryuu)**  
Oh yeah? Read it again.

Ryuu shrugs his head at me.  
That's the look of a defeated man.

 **(Ryuu)**  
I wasn't defeated at all–!

So anyhow—the Laws of Conservation and Equivalent Exchange.

You know what they say!  
 _'You scratch my back, and I'll stab yours,'_ or something along those lines.

Right~?

However—

I don't have as much of a leverage on sensei as she has on me,  
because after all, I'm only her captive, of which she already has plenty.

And yes, I'm referring to all the poor suckers—I mean, _captives_ —of A-01 assembled in this briefing room.

 _Hrmm._

Should I really be saying it like that?

I'm not actively trying to paint sensei in a bad light—nope!

Lemme rephrase:

I'm not her captive.  
I'm her hostage.

My brother—is her captive.

It's a twisted arrangement...

Yet, we aren't here against our own will,  
so don't you worry about us.

And because I don't have any leverage on sensei,  
her end of the agreement is a simple one.

Part of it is that Kouzuki-sensei becomes my sensei.

That's how it went down between us...

–Oh, I almost forgot to mention.

I'm not allowed to call her 'sensei' out in the open.

 _'Why?',_ you ask.

I dunno. She hasn't told me why.

Maybe because she's embarrassed to be seen affiliating with me?

Oh well.

I'm just happy the world-famous Kouzuki Yuuko is teaching me, so I don't bother myself with what her reasons may be.

 **(Ryuu)**  
Nee-chan, you coming?

 _Oops._ I talked about myself too much.

The lecture is over. Everyone's already walked out.

I know you wanted to badly listen to Kouzuki-sensei discuss in detail the mathematics and improved algorithms of this new XM3 system.

My bad~. I'll pay more attention next time and share that info instead. Cool?

On second thought—I shouldn't be doing that at all!  
These are military secrets! I'd get in serious trouble if I shared them willy-nilly!

 _'Let the record state that I, Fukui Kukiko, retracted my offer to share these secrets to the voices in my head.'_

And besides, how do I type out all the weird shapes in sensei's formulas, anyway?  
Like that one, for example. The one that looks like a shack, you know?

So, _uhh_ , let's all forget I even said that, shall we?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Gimme a lift, Ryuu! I'll hop on your back.

I tease my dear little brother.

In response, he kicks one of the stands of my chair.

Pretending to be disappointed with a _'Hmph,'_ I stand up and, along with Ryuu, then proceed to the changing room to get suited up.

The group isn't too far ahead; they're still within earshot.

It's time for the demo~!

No—not demolition, dummy!  
I mean demonstration!

We're about to try out this new operating system that Shirogane Takeru came up with.

One of the principal reasons I wasn't paying too much attention to Kouzuki-sensei's lecture was because I was sold at the outset.

The moment she opened with _'This is what Shirogane used in yesterday's simulations,'_ my mind started wandering, praying to get the briefing over and done with already.

But the more I prayed, the longer it felt.

Almost as if I had slipped into a wormhole where time slowed to a stall.

I was bored—of the yada-yada lecture.  
For the demo—I was dying of excitement.

And I wasn't the only excited human being in the room.

Anego's left foot was tapping the floor the _entire_ session.

And Aniki, as convinced as he is that he has the best poker face around,  
(even though his 'tells' are quite apparent to me, I've never told him otherwise, because you know, it's Aniki...),  
yeah—the sides of his jaws would jut out every now and then, every time he chatters his teeth.

He chatters his teeth repeatedly when he gets impatient.

It's difficult to catch that because his mouth stays closed, and that's why you look at the sides of his jaws instead.

Oh, shit—don't tell him I told you this.  
Please...

So anyhow—finally!  
I'm so excited I'm practically skipping my way over!

I'm in such a good mood that I poked Ryuu in the ribs not just once, but three times!

 **(Ryuu)**  
Cut it out, will you!

Alright, I got his attention.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Nee, nee,_ Ryuu~...

 **(Ryuu)**  
What, what, Nee-chan?

I whisper my next words.

 **(Kukiko)**  
She kept looking at you the whole time, you know~.

 **(Ryuu)**  
No she didn't! She was too busy with–

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Aha!_ So _you_ were watching _her_ the whole time!

 **(Ryuu)**  
 _Pffft..._ That doesn't work on me, dummy.  
Imma take a leak, let them know in case I'm late.

 **(Kukiko)** _  
Yuck!_ That's too much info, I'll let 'em all know even if nobody asks!

Hot in the face, he walks even faster ahead of me.

 _Oh, my dear little brother._

I was only teasing, of course.

Still.

I hope you do tell her the truth one of these days…  
And sooner is always better than later.

We just don't know when we'd run out of tomorrows, you know?

* * *

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Weeeeeeee~!_

 **(Ryuu)**  
 _Whooaaaaa~!_

 **(Kukiko)  
** This is exhilaratinggg!

 _Ahahaha~!_

I can't get enough of this!

This is awesommme!

Shirogane Takeru, you damn bastard!  
You—devious, ingenious, sick bastard!

No wonder he made short work of Anego!

This is sheer genius!

This is so liberating!  
I've never felt this much freedom over my movements!

Freeeedommmm!

 _Ah_ —I am fully aware this is only a simulation...

Be that as it may.

Freeeedommmm!

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Yahooooooo~!_

 **(Aniki)  
** Oi Kuki! Give me a hand!

 **(Anego)**  
 _Haaa!_ How in the world?  
Wai—no no no no no no!  
 _Ouch!_

 _Ahaha!_

Anego's sim-TSF fell on her ass.

The hydraulics in here do an extremely good job emulating that jerking feeling, so you better believe that it'll hurt every time you fall!

 **(Misae)  
** _Whoo,_ I feel even more sensitive now.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Aniki, turn your left gear stick 2 millimeters to 9 o'clock, and your wheel 2.5 degrees to the–

 **(Aniki)  
** _Grrr_ —!  
You're making fun of me, aren't you!

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Hahaha~._

Here's a taste of your own medicine, Aniki!

Now he knows what it's like when he tries to backseat pilot us.

 _'Your incline is X point X degrees too low,'_ (in Aniki's voice) he would sometimes say,  
or _'Your acceleration is off by zero point XX meters per seconds squared.'_

I'm serious! Seriously serious!

When it comes to piloting, Aniki has it down to a science.  
But it's not as fun being on the receiving end of his science!

 **(Ryuu)  
** Senpai, pull your shoulders and arms forward in sync with your lower limbs.

 **(Senpai)  
** Like so?

Twelve Valkyries in twelve simulator cabins.

(I still hate the name _Valkyries_ , by the way. The name gives me a creepy sense of foreboding, you know?)

Only seven have started moving, and out of the seven, only three of us have managed to take flight.

The remaining five that are still grounded in place are all the— _uhh,_ old dogs.  
Yeah, that's a good way to describe them.

Senpai, Aniki, Anego, Misae and Touko.

 _'You can't teach an old dog new tricks, so you might as well put it out of its misery,'_ I believe a wise man once said.

On the other hand, all the fledglings from 207-A are faring pretty well at finding their wings.

They only started doing the simulators three or four days ago,  
so it's not like they've had enough time to get a hang of the old system.

(Look at me, quick to call the previous system 'old' already. _Hehe~_ ).

Oh.

 _Three days._

It's been three days since they started doing the simulators.  
It's either three or it's either four, and it can't be either and or.

So it's three—I just remembered that it's been three days so far.

 _Phew._ Glad I got that off of my system.

In their case, it turned out to their advantage, because unlike the old dogs, they don't have the habits deeply embedded into their brains just yet.

What about Ryuu and me?  
 _Hrmm,_ I can't explain how, but.  
We just have a knack for learning, you know?

Anyhow.

The fledglings have all been able to manage 2-D movement on the horizontal plane,  
and only one of them, Asakura-chan,  
has so far been moving in the third dimension, the vertical plane.

 **(Aniki)**  
I'm serious, Kuki.  
Is there a trick to this?

Ryuu is placing a valiant effort into helping out Senpai and Misae.

Touko is getting a hand from 207-A's Haruko and Takahara.

You should really see the old hags— _errr,_ dogs—all stumbling around as soon as they take one step in any direction.  
It's too funny to watch!

 **(Aniki)**  
Kuki? Are you listening to me?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Oh, yeah yeah yeah!  
Aniki, just grab a hold of _this_ on your left,  
but at the same time use your thumb to press _that_.  
But while you're doing _that_ , you're gonna have to—you know?  
When that happens, pull _this_ backward and, just like that—you know?

 **(Aniki)  
** _Huhhh_.  
I don't think you're making fun of me anymore,  
but Kuki, that explanation was—deeply concerning.

An exasperated sigh comes from Aniki, which I shall conveniently pretend not to have heard.

I don't know what I'm talking about,  
because I'm too busy sim-flying around.

And I'm not the best person for explaining what I've been doing anyway.

These movements just feel so—natural, you know?

Go ahead and try explaining to someone how the breathing process works.  
It's not something you pay too much attention to—you just know that it works!

Shirogane Takeru truly is a slimy crook!  
(I know it sounds like the insults are getting worse, but these are actually promotions. I swear!)

Sorry, Aniki~.

 **(Ryuu)**  
You're overriding the safety system, so as you move forward,  
you'll also have to control the limbs on your upper body at the same time,  
or else the counter-weights would throw your entire balance to the rear.  
That's why you keep stumbling backwards, Munakata-san.

 **(Asakura-chan)**  
Normally you'd only have to worry about your lower limbs to start moving,  
and the computer automatically takes care of all the other body parts.  
Without that automation, you'll have to take hold of the individual limbs manually.  
You'll have to start thinking like it's your own body, start controlling your every joint!

 **(Ryuu)**  
Yeah—what she said, Akane.  
So unless you manually move your left shoulder forward along with your left leg,  
the weights on the shoulder would be left behind and throw you backwards.  
Same concept applies to sideways and backwards movement.

Good luck, Ryuu! Good luck, Asakura-chan!

Looks like I could leave the explaining all up to you!

 **(Akane)**  
How are you pulling off vertical movement, though?  
Moving front, back and sideways is one thing,  
but you three are moving up and down so easily!

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Ah_ , well...  
You have to hold down the thrusters and—like this, yeah?  
And if you want to descend, pull back the—did you catch that?  
Or else you'd just fall on your head.  
Sooo, make sense?

 _Ahaha~._

A valiant effort indeed, Ryuu.

This must be what it's like teaching babies how to walk...

* * *

 **(Misae)**  
This seems like a lot of extra unnecessary work.  
Why would I ever need to—?  
 _Huh?_ How'd you draw your gun out while falling, Touko?

 **(Haruko)**  
 _Whoa_ —that was a sick combination move, Asakura!

 **(Asakura-chan)**  
I'm just copying whatever Ryuu-kun was doing!

 **(Takahara)**  
 _Haaa~._  
Will you please do that again, First Lieuuutenant~?

Three hours later and I've had enough.

I didn't get tired of it; I was still having a blast.

Even so, there are only so many hours in the day.

I have other things I would like to do too, you know?  
Things like—

 _Hrmm._

I haven't thought that far ahead...

I had considered reading, but I already did that all morning.

Kouzuki-sensei dismissed us and left an hour ago.

I got a hold of her before she left to throw out my latest genius idea.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Hakase! Hakase!

I yelled as I chased her on the way out.

She peeked over her shoulders, realized it was me, and in her usual irritable voice, says without stopping.

 **(Kouzuki-sensei)  
** What do you want, Kukiko?

 **(Kukiko)  
** I was just thinking–

I continued while walking at her side.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Can we do another sim battle?

 **(Kouzuki-sensei)  
** You don't need my permission, do whatever you want.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I mean–!  
Could I invite Takeru?

Silly sensei.

Of course I knew I didn't need permission—but I wanted to involve the outsider again, or else I wouldn't have asked her at all!

 **(Kouzuki-sensei)  
** Shirogane?  
No. He's busy tonight.

To this—I could've asked, _'What business does he have?'_  
I knew better than to ask her, though.

 **(Kukiko)  
** What about tomorrow?

 **(Kouzuki-sensei)  
** How would I know if he'd be busy tomorrow?  
I can't see the future!

 _A...ha...ha..._

Sensei was as irritable as ever... as she is to everyone...

Irritable to everyone, and not just to me...

I think...

 **(Kukiko)  
** I'll talk to Takeru and see if he's–

 **(Kouzuki-sensei)  
** –Kukiko.

Sensei suddenly stopped in our tracks.  
I stopped one step after her.

 **(Kouzuki-sensei)  
** I'm not your mother.  
You don't have to tell me every little thing you do.  
Like I said, you're free to do whatever.  
I'm busy, goodbye.

Upon saying that, she exited the room.

That was one hour ago.

I've since re-entered my sim cabin to get my mind off what sensei had said,  
but now that I find myself recounting that not-so-distant memory,  
I actually now realize what I _could_ do.

 _'Do whatever,'_ sensei had insisted.

So guess what, I shall do exactly that!

I'm having supper at the PX this evening!

Why'd I come up with that? Just because!

 _Hrmm..._

Who could I ask to come with me? Let's see...  
But everyone still seems so busy...

 **(Kukiko)  
** Senpai! I'm off to the–

 **(Senpai)**  
Sure, go ahead.  
Stay out of trouble.

Senpai tells me without looking up from the simulation control logs in her grasp.  
Suzumiya Haruka just smiles nervously and shrugs her shoulders, probably to excuse senpai in senpai's stead.

 _*sighhh~*_

Nobody minds my comings and goings.  
Did they all get the same memo or what?

I wonder if they'd even notice if I were to disappear one of these days–

 **(? ? ?)  
** Kuki, what are you up to?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Oh, I'm off to get some food.

Near the room's exit (or entrance, depending on where you're standing), there stands Aniki in his armoured suit, to the front of me, just coming back from a snack or whatever it is he did while he was out of the room.

 **(Kukiko)  
** And you, Aniki?  
Have you eaten yet?

 **(Aniki)  
** Aye, I have, so I can't come with.  
I'll need a lot more practice with the XM3 anyway.  
I can't stop now with all the momentum I've built up so far,  
no thanks to this very incompetent coach I had.

He grins as he says that last part.

 **(Kukiko)  
** An incompetent coach!  
How pitiful! What should I do to him, Aniki?

Wait—should I side with Ryuu or should I side with Aniki?

What do you think?

 _Aghh!_ It's a tough choice to make, isn't it?

 **(Ryuu)  
** _'Him'?!_  
He was talking about _you_ , Nee-chan!  
Don't lump me in with your own shortcomings!

Ryuu pops out of nowhere and flicks me in my ear.

My hair cushioned the flick, thankfully.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Keep telling yourself that, Ryuu!  
Aniki was obviously talking about you!  
Anyhow. You guys have fun then–

 **(Aniki)  
** _Hah._ Meet up with you later.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Ja-ne~!_

* * *

It's rush hour in the PX—not! It's not.  
It's the opposite.

Due to the classified nature of my existence, and of the STF in general, we usually have our food delivered to us in our own little mess hall.

That said though, we're still allowed to hang out in public sometimes.

'Sometimes' are times like these—when the public isn't here at all.

So, for the busier Post Exchanges, as an example, you'd have to arrive either way too early before meal times, or wait for it to be too late after.

While there are many PXes in the base, I've chosen to dine in this one in particular.

And right now, there are—one, two, three, four—four people other than me.

If you do get 'caught' by the larger public, there's a perfectly aligned alibi at the ready.

I've had to use my alibi more than a lot of times, but you don't need to know that—

Like I said.  
We're captives, and I'm a hostage...

So now that I have some free time—

While I chow on my food (tonight's menu is nothing worth drooling over), lemme talk about the object of my recent interest—Shirogane Takeru.

Why does Fukui Kukiko, the main character of her own story, bother herself with a side character like Takeru, Shirogane.

I should preface this with:  
There's nothing romantic about my interest in him.

 _Geez_ —why is romance the first thing that comes to everyone's mind?  
Why does everything always have to be romanticized around here?

Even Takeru thought about romance right away in our conversation last night.  
I was only talking about love, you know?  
Where does romance fit in with that?!

Besides, I've been badly burned by his kind in the past...

Anyhow.

As I was saying.

I'm as interested in him as Motoko-sensei is interested in cutting open dead BETA specimens.

Remember when I said that I could see underneath the surface?

Well—my sixth sense radar is wildly off the charts when it comes to Takeru.

Never mind the fact that he's a brand-new recruit whose piloting almost rivals Aniki's,  
or the fact that he came up with the brilliant new OS for sensei,  
or how about the fact that he's supposed to be brand-freaking-new around here? (And I don't really mean 'freaking').

These are all on the surface—even a brainless BETA could've pointed these out.  
There's nothing satisfying about only knowing what's on the surface!

What I'm interested in is the story behind the scenes of Takeru's life.

There is one hell of an underground labyrinth when I look at that guy.

And therein lies my problem—I just can't seem to solve the labyrinth.  
This is a first for Fukui Kukiko.

And because this is the first time I've run into a puzzle I cannot solve, that makes Takeru interesting enough.

That—and he owes me a debt.

Actually, two debts, is what he owes me.

First and foremost—

For laying his filthy paws on my brother.

Second—

For daring to lay his hands on me before that.

Third—

For not telling us the entire truth last night.

Fourth—

For being stubborn in our hive infiltration simulation.

Fifth—

For beating Anego in their mock duel.

Sixth—

For breathing my air.

I better stop. I keep coming up with more debts as I think about him more and more.

Anyhow.

I guess it all boils down to, _'What is playing behind the curtains of Shirogane Takeru, and can I pry it out of him by force?'_

I wonder if it's as—'interesting', as my own story.

And is it just me, or is it really pitch-dark in this theater of his life?

I normally don't bother myself with side characters, you know. But this side character is just too interesting to pass up–

 _Ahhhhhh! Damn!_

 _Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!_

When did the PX get this packed?

I've been so lost in thought I haven't been paying attention at all!  
And here I so boldly claimed that I could see everything!  
How embarrassing! Hold on a second—this is all _your_ fault!

Let's see here... I might still make it.

Is he still around? He may have already left–

 _Hehh?_

Is that—him, over there?

Wow—it really is true, that classic proverb, _'Speak of the devil, for he has brown hair.'_

 _Phew._ I thought I'd missed my chance.

Takeru's table looks extremely dull.  
But no worries, Fukui Kukiko is here to the rescue!  
I'm sure he'll be glad to see me.

This'll get me in deep trouble for sure,  
but I'm _already_ in trouble anyway,  
and some things are worth getting in trouble for, you know?

Forget this used tray; it'll bring itself to the dirty pile eventually.

Let's get to Takeru's table.

And with him—my oh my.

I've heard about this group before, and I hardly believed it until now, but.  
Could sensei have bundled up any more political hostages in one place?

The Sakaki empress.  
A woman of simple taste, judging by the lack of seasonings on her meal.

The Lady Mitsurugi.  
One with refined taste. Herbs and spices occupy her tableside.

The prodigal Ayamine child.  
A woman of _every_ taste.

And finally, Tamase Genjousai's pampered princess.  
A woman of—what is that, actually?  
No, I mean it—what _is_ that?

Yet, with all their differences, seems to me that they ultimately converge in a single taste.

Yup, they all look at him with the same eyes.  
 _Gross_ —please don't tell me Takeru is another one of those thick idiots...

I feel sorry for them.

Very. Sorry. For these suckers.

Or must I feel sorry for Takeru?

And by the way, shouldn't there be one more girl here?  
Where's the daughter of that _agent provocateur,_ Yoroi Sakon?

That aside—lemme grab his attention.

 _*whack!*_

 **(Kukiko)**  
Hello, Takeruuu~!

 _Hehe~._ I made him blush~.

Sometimes, I can be _too_ charming.

Takeru looks frozen in place. Is my charm too much for him to take in?

Speaking of which—his hands. From last night.  
I wonder how the scars I felt on his fingers have been healing.

The first time I noticed was when I grabbed him when he first showed up in our sakura garden.  
Our dance, a little later—was a convenient excuse to make sure of what I had felt on his knuckles.

Wait—what the hell? There's a fresh bruise instead.

Are you a masochist, Takeru?  
What kind of trouble have you been getting yourself into?

 **(Tamase)**  
 _Uhmmm._ Excuse me for asking but, what's your name?  
 _Ah_ —mine is Miki. Tamase, Miki.

 _Hrmm?_ The Sakaki empress and the prodigal Ayamine child are saying something to each other.

It's not about me though, so they could talk to themselves all they want.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Pleasure to meet you, Tamase-san!  
I'm Kukiko, Fukui Kukiko.  
From Training Squad 150-F.

There it goes. How many times have I used my alibi?

 **(Takeru)**  
Cookie, a word. _In private._

 _Ohoo_ —what does he plan to say in private to li'l ol' me, I wonder.

Although, his timing can't have been any more perfect.  
I had to get out of here soon, anyway. The Lady Mitsurugi looks like she wants to stab me.

Honestly.

These girls should learn to relax.

If I had really wanted him, he'd belong to me already.


	20. The Actress

**Chapter 20 – The Actress**

* * *

 **Kukiko**

* * *

 **(Kukiko)  
** —So how does that work, Takeru.  
Do they all ask for the same hairstyle when they're at the dresser?  
Is the Ayamine girl growing her hair out so she could fit in too?  
Has Jinguuji-sensei been forcing her fashion on— _Ouch!_

That knocked the wind out of me. I did not see that coming, not from someone like him.

Soon as we turned the corner after exiting the PX, Takeru had me pinned to the wall.  
This isn't what I had in mind when he'd said he wanted some privacy.

In fact, I was even considering something more naughty.

If he was upset that I pointed out how Sakaki, Tamase and Mitsurugi seem to have adopted Jinguuji-sensei's hairstyle, he should've just said so—

 **(Takeru)  
** What the hell do you think you're doing, Cookie?!

 _Khh–!_

It's hard to talk, let alone breathe, with an arm pressed against your windpipe.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Takeru... you're... hurting me...

 **(Takeru)  
** _Nnh?_ Oh, I–I didn't mean to.

He loosens his arm a bit.

Dumbass. Played him like a fiddle.  
That's all I needed to turn the tables.

Quickly, I grab his arm and duck my head to escape his grapple.  
Then, still holding the arm that nearly choked me, I spin to his rear and shove his wrist, and his whole back, up against the wall.

He's practically kissing the wall.

Those girls at his table would be so jealous if they knew about this.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Ackh!_

I've dealt against brutes bigger and stronger than Takeru my whole life.

Not to mention—he so easily fell for 'play damsel'.

What a moron.  
His kind really is predictable.

Who does he think he's fooling with his tough guy act—

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Urgh!_

 _Ah...ha...ha...  
_ I'm laughing but, because I'm caught in the strangle again, it sounds more like coughing.

Not too shabby.

If my hands were free, I would've been clapping them in applause.

He turned the tables on me once more.  
The table is now on its right side up.

 **(Takeru)  
** _What_ are you doing, Cookie?

 **(Kukiko)  
** I'm not sure, exactly.  
An asshole attacked me out of nowhere,  
and somehow _I'm_ the criminal–

Annnnd.

Once again, we switch places.

 **(Kukiko)  
** You know, I can keep this dance up all night.

I taunt him with a grin.

 **(Takeru)  
** _Pfft—_

 **(Kukiko)**  
. . .

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

Four more swing-arounds between us pass.

Four—an even number. Which means that I'm still on top.

 **(Takeru)  
** _Nghh._ You're not supposed to be here.

I've entwined my fingers within his and pressed them at waist-level.

It's not the best hold for pinning someone, but I had never meant to keep him pinned in the first place.

Strangely enough, he has stopped struggling anyway.

 **(Kukiko)  
** And you're not supposed to be bullying little girls.

I scold the perpetrator.

 **(Takeru)  
** You're a far cry from a little girl,  
especially with that sick smirk on your face.

Smirk?

 **(Kukiko)  
** I think you meant 'smile', right, Takeru?

I clarify, unable to ignore the nuance in his voice.

 **(Takeru)  
** Stop... calling me... Takeru...

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Eh?_ But that's your name, is it not?  
Or have I been pronouncing it wrong all along?!

 **(Takeru)  
** We aren't friends, Cookie.  
Stop acting like we are.

 _Acting,_ huh?

 **(Takeru)  
** You called me Shirogane last night.  
Stick with it.

 _Hmm?_ I see.

I'll play along, 'Shirogane'.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Fine fine fine.

I lazily reply.

 **(Kukiko)  
** —Shirogane-sama.

I lean my neck to the left.

 **(Takeru)  
** What? I'm not your master–

 **(Kukiko)  
** Shirogane-dono.

Lean to the right.

 **(Takeru)  
**. . .  
That's even worse. I'm no lord–

 **(Kukiko)  
** Shirogane-oniisan–

Lean to the front.

 **(Takeru)  
** Cookie! Stop fooling around!

My god.

 _Fooling around,_ he says.

In a way, I guess he's right.

He's a fool, and I'm around him.

I'm just being me, and he's being he.  
It's not my fault if 'he' is a giant stick in the mud.

 **(Kukiko)  
** You started this, you know.  
I just came to talk.

 **(Takeru)  
** Then, just—talk.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I would've if a certain ass didn't push me against this here wall–!

 **(Takeru)  
** Alright alright!  
I apologize for doing that.  
Now let me go.

With my eyes, I stab his with metaphorical daggers.

 **(Takeru)  
** Alright—Takeru is alright. If it's that important, _sheesh_.

Upon hearing him say that, I finally let him go.

What's important wasn't the name itself, it was more so the winning of the argument.

My pride was on the line, you see.

And I wonder why he didn't just brute force his way out of my grasp.  
I mean, I had a good grip, and technique can only give me so much of an advantage.

He could've overthrown me so easily had he really wanted to.

Might that mean that he never really wanted to?

 **(Kukiko)  
** I'm glad you've come to your senses, Takeru-chan~!

Anyhow—I'm a little more relieved.

Bygones are now bygones.

What had happened yesterday stays in yesterday,  
and today is another day.

We're back to normal, Takeru-chan~!

 **(Takeru)  
** _Khh._ You're incredibly stubborn, do you know that?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Why thank you~.  
I've always been told that I'm an incredible person.

 **(Takeru)**  
Incre— _gah,_ forget it.

He might've said something just now, but I was too amused at watching him flex his wrists in circles to listen. My grip must've been tighter than I thought.

While he does that, I decide to remove my hairband and comb my hair out with my fingers.  
It's a bit messy after that little kerfuffle we just had.

It only took me a few seconds to straighten it back, after which I placed my hairband back in its rightful spot.

What a brutish man this Takeru is—

 **(Takeru)  
** And you really aren't supposed to be here.  
You do realize that, I hope?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Will you shut up about that already?  
I went through all the trouble of getting myself in trouble so I could talk to you,  
and this is how you repay me?

I counter with my hands on my hips and a pout on my lips.

 **(Takeru)  
** Spit it out, then.  
What the hell is so important that you'd cause all this trouble.

 _Geez._

I think he had meant ' _go through_ all this trouble' and not ' _cause_ all this trouble'.

He's been playing with words ever since we started talking.

And he sounds so irritated.  
I wonder what happened to irritate him like this.

Not even my bedazzling charisma is curing him of his irritation.

He probably woke up on the wrong side of the cot.

 **(Kukiko)  
** You shouldn't be using such crass language, Takeru-chan. **  
** _'A filthy mouth will never eat decent food.'_

I share him some wisdom while nodding my head in unison.

 **(Takeru)  
**. . . **  
**That's not at all how the saying goes.  
And you're one to talk about a filthy mouth.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I'll have you know I brush my teeth twice a day!

I—lied.

I don't normally lie. I absolutely despise lies.

I only brush once a day.  
But I thought it might impress Takeru if I said that lie.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Anyhow—stop beating around the bush, Takeru-chan.  
I came to ask you if you could join us for another sim-battle–

 **(Takeru)  
** No.

That was an oddly immediate response.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Heh?_ This is the part where you explain why.

 **(Takeru)  
** Because! I don't belong there, alright?  
I only came over the first time because Capt. Isumi had blackmailed me.  
My business with your squad is—finished...  
You and I shouldn't even be seeing like this–

 _*whack!*_

Takeru's eyes grow wider, and he raises his fingers to feel his face.

 **(Takeru)  
** What was that for?!

I had slapped him lightly on the cheek.

Well—what I would consider 'lightly', anyway.

 **(Kukiko)  
** That was a thank you.

 **(Takeru)  
** A thank you?  
For what? And that's not how you thank people!

 **(Kukiko)  
** You came up with the XM3, right?  
Someone had to thank you for coming up with that devilishly veracious piloting system.

 **(Takeru)  
** Why doesn't that sound like a compliment...

I'm not sure if his cheek is red because I had slapped it, or because he's actually blushing.

Oh what the hell. I choose to believe that he's in fact blushing, even if the truth is contrary.

 **(Takeru)  
** Do me a favour and don't ever thank me again.

 **(Kukiko)  
** What's it gonna be?  
Come join us for a sim-battle, Takeru-chan!

 **(Takeru)  
** Cookie... I can't... I—have my own squad to take care of...  
And besides, don't you need time to get the hang of the XM3?

 _Aghhh!_ He's right!

An overlooked technicality in my otherwise genius idea!

 **(Kukiko)**  
Now that you mention it.  
That won't be a problem for Ryuu and me,  
but Aniki and the others might need a bit more practice–

I scratch my head, realizing the loophole in my plan...

Can't have it all...

And I was sooo excited to savour my supremacy over Aniki with the XM3 for as long as I could, too.

Ryuuseiu!

You better coach them into perfection by tomorrow!

 _'By tomorrow?!'_

 **(Takeru)**  
Ryuu and you? You've mastered it already?  
And speaking of Ryuu, where is he anyway?

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Hmph._ How rude, Takeru-chan.  
I know we're twins, but Ryuu and I aren't joined at the hip, you know.  
That's a different class of twins.  
I forget what it's called, though.  
Manganese? Ham and Cheese? Siamese–

 **(Takeru)**  
I implied nothing of the sort—  
Fuck! Why am I even–?  
I don't care if you think I'm rude!  
I have... other things... to do...  
I shouldn't... even be... knowing you...  
We're done here. We're done!  
I'm going back, and—you.  
You should stay away from me.

 _Whoa?_

Takeru had marched away out of the blue.

Away—from me... I'm not sure why...

Wasn't he enjoying our conversation?

Because I was...

I thought we were having a fun chat...?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Hey—why do you want me to stay away from you?

My brows furrow, giving wind of my indignation.

No one, not even Aniki, blows me off the way he just did.

He thankfully stops, staggers on one leg, and leans his left hand on the wall.  
Even though he isn't facing me, the purple bruise on his arm stands out where I could see.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Tch..._  
I'm... sorry... Cookie...  
It's not you... It's—me...

 _Haa?_ What is this? Some cheesy romantic comedy?

That line was—pathetic!  
He wants me to stay away from him because of such a sorry line?!

What... the fuck...

What the fuck is with you, Takeru?!

I'm having none of this!

 **(Kukiko)**  
No.

 **(Takeru)  
** —? **  
**No? No what?

 **(Kukiko)**  
No—I'm not staying away from you.  
You can't tell me what to do–!

 _Gah_ —he's quick!

Honestly quick.

In the part of the blinking process where the eyelids completely cover the eyes for an instant in time, Takeru had grabbed me by my shoulders.

And though I felt it before I saw it, when my blink had fully completed, his face was a mere inches from mine.

His eyes...

 **(Takeru)**  
Cookie...

I lost myself in the labyrinth of his eyes...

And.

It really is deep.

And dark.

And—it tells an entirely different story,  
one even I, the all-seeing Fukui Kukiko, can't see.

 **(Takeru)**  
You can't keep meeting me...  
I have—an illness...

An illness, he says?

 **(Kukiko)**  
I just so happen to have a cure.

Liar.

He's desperately trying to push me away, going so far as making pitiful lies.  
Try harder—

 **(Takeru)**  
There's nothing but darkness... ahead of me...

 **(Kukiko)**  
Then you'll need a light, wouldn't you.  
You're in luck. I can be very bright.

 **(Takeru)  
**. . . **  
**I'm—a demon.

 **(Kukiko)**  
I've many demons.  
One more wouldn't kill me.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _This_ demon will...

The harder you push me away, the stronger I come back, Takeru.  
I'm like a gum underneath people's shoe.

 **(Takeru)**  
What would it take... for you to stay away?

He really isn't letting it up.

 _'Why am I, Fukui Kukiko, main character of my own story, spending so much effort on a side character like Takeru, Shirogane?'_

Because.

I see through this whole act.

This act—that is playing on-stage.

This act—that is making him push me away.

And now more than ever, I want to see what's behind the curtains.

Because knowing what's happening behind the scenes would help me understand what the hell is going on on-stage.

That is all.

There is nothing noble, or charitable, or pragmatic, about my intentions.  
I find those kinds of intentions pretentious and a waste of my precious time on earth.

I'm doing this not for Shirogane Takeru, I'm doing this solely for Fukui Kukiko.

For my curiosity's sake, for the sake of cracking Takeru's act.

And curiosity—by the way, is a rather contagious disease.  
It infects the brain in such a way that it's impossible to cure, not until it's completely satisfied.

Don't believe me? Ask Kouzuki-sensei (I learned this from her in the first place).

It's the same for me.  
It's always been this way for me.

In fact, we could cut out the rest of my chapters entirely if Kouzuki-sensei would allow me to dissect Takeru's brain.  
It might be tough because his skull is so thick, so I'll need Motoko-sensei's help as well.

Besides.

There's no denying that Takeru is a fascinating subject.  
A subject so fascinating, I'm not afraid to get under his skin.  
Literally and figuratively.

But if you're still not convinced, then let me offer a reason that would be easier to understand.

He's miserable.  
More miserable than me.  
And I enjoy tormenting those who are more miserable than me.

Is that better?

Which reason is my real reason?  
Which reason would you rather believe?

I don't care...

Hate me if you must.

In fact, I _want_ you to hate me.

I don't mind being hated.  
I've been hated for as long as I can remember.

But.

Every act needs a villain,  
and if I must play the villain to see what's happening behind the scenes,  
so help me, a villain I shall be.

That's right, Takeru.

Your first biggest mistake was introducing yourself to Kukiko.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Alright, Takeru-chan.  
There is _one_ way to make me go.

 **(Takeru)  
** What is it? Tell me—and I'll do it.

 _Heh~._

Now, _this._

 _This_ —is a smirk, Takeru.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _You could die~._

My eyes grow wide and my smile almost reaches my ear.  
If I'll be acting the part, I might as well look it.

 **(Takeru)  
** —?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Well, I suppose I could die too.  
But I love my life too much to off myself, you know?  
So the only other option is if you do, Takeru-chan~.

Yup, I can play the villain longer than you can keep this act up, Takeru~.

 **(Takeru)  
** You can't be serious.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I?  
Can't be?  
Serious?  
 _Ahaha~._  
You don't really know me, do you, Takeru-chan~?

His lips quiver open, then closed, then open, then closed.  
I can feel his fingers on my shoulders trembling precariously.

My charm must've left him at a loss for words.

With unblinking eyes, I maintain my glare on him, and he maintains his on me.

 **(Takeru)  
** Will you... will you be at the sakura trees again tonight?

 _Hoh?_

Not what I expected to hear.

Are my ears deceiving me? Is this—progress I'm hearing?  
Is Fukui Kukiko getting through to the thick-headed Takeru, Shirogane?

 **(Kukiko)  
** I will be.  
With Ryuu and Aniki.

The sakura trees.  
The cemetery—or, the only place where we could find sleep.

We're out there at the same hour every day.

We can't sleep in the base without waking up sweating in the middle of the night.

 **(Takeru)**  
If I talk to you... if I—tell you...  
Will you forget about me then?

 **(Kukiko)  
** No.

Progress. My. Ass.

As if I could so easily forget.

You can't just _tell_ someone to forget something,  
the opposite actually happens and it sticks in your head!

But...

 **(Kukiko)  
** But.  
You can talk. And I—  
I can listen.

It's a start...

And a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single threat.  
My threat has allowed us to take the first step.

 **(Takeru)  
** Then... I will see you when it's dark... at the sakura trees...

 **(Kukiko)  
** Al—right.  
Now, will you please let go of my shoulders, Takeru-chan?

 **(Takeru)  
** Only if you first let go of the knife in my ribs.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Ah._

 _He...he~._..

I had drawn my knife out earlier, when Takeru first grabbed my shoulders.  
Not a metaphorical knife either, like I said about my eyes before.

I'd mentioned he was fast, but guess who else is?

Although, I didn't think I should let you know about the knife...

I'm a villain, didn't I say?

 **(Kukiko)  
**. . .

 **(Takeru)  
**. . .

After what felt like an hour had passed (I must've slipped into another wormhole again),  
he releases my shoulders, slowly at first,  
and I withdraw my blade in kind.

 _Phew!_

Is it just me or is it really uptight in here?

 **(Kukiko)**  
I'll meet you later, then.  
Oh—and is this what you'd call a date?  
Between you and me?

It doesn't matter to me, of course.  
Uptight can be as uptight as it wants to be.

Nothing will ever stop me from staying true to myself.

From staying true to Kukiko, Fukui.

 **(Takeru)**  
You're—you're...

Takeru had stepped back, spun around, and again faced me.

What has him flustered? Do you have any idea?

 **(Takeru)  
** You're—difficult to talk to, you know that?

 **(Kukiko)**  
You get worked up too easily, don't you?

 **(Takeru)**  
Case in point...

 **(Kukiko)**  
Yeah... Case in point–

 **(? ? ?)  
** Nee-chan, is everything alright?

 _Ah!_

My twin brother, standing tall, had popped out of the corner.

He still has his armoured suit on.

He must be on a recess from their XM3 tryout, or else he would've changed into his casual clothes if he were already done for the day.

 **(Ryuu)**  
Oh. It's 13–

 **(Takeru)  
** I was just leaving.

Takeru turns his back to me to do as he says.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Ja-ne~!_

He cuts out into the same corner where Ryuu had just appeared, avoiding him on his way.

Ryuu's eyes follow Takeru, but Ryuu himself remains unmoved.

 **(Ryuu)**  
What was that about, Nee-chan?

My brother then whispers as soon as Takeru was out of hearing distance.

 **(Ryuu)  
** I had a funny feeling that you were in troub–

 **(Kukiko)**  
You were imagining things, I was perfectly fine!  
 _Nee,_ how's Aniki coming along?  
Are they able to fly yet–?

 **(Ryuu)**  
Nee-chan, it's not like you to lie...

My brother rolls his eyes, and his eyes end up at the site of my left hand.

 _Woops._

I had forgotten to re-pocket my knife.

And true to character, as with everything else, that didn't escape my twin brother's notice...

* * *

 _AN:_

The next chapter may be delayed. I've been re-reading the whole VN (Extra to Alternative) for better and more accurate content, and to speed things up I'll be focusing on finishing the VN before the next chapter.

Like before, I'll make up for the delayed chapters according to the regular release schedule.


	21. Blood, Sweat, Tears

_Author's Note:_

Brief updates.

*Re-read of the VNs is still ongoing. Currently on the 30th day in November of Alternative.

*I've learned that the honourific for 'Instructor' isn't _sensei_ , but rather, _kyoukan_. I'll be fixing the error from here on out, but it'll be a while before I revise the past chapters.

*The whole story is best read on the mobile app, as was pointed out to me. If you have a smart phone, I'd recommend you open this from there. (I'm only using this format to emulate the essence of the VN. This is experimental, although I am satisfied with the results so far (again, try this out on the app!). Should I venture into other ff's in the future, I'd be adopting the normal literary motif).

* * *

 **Chapter 21 – Blood, Sweat, Tears**

* * *

 **Meiya**

* * *

What is this ill-sensation that has me shaken to my very core?

A heart-wrenching feeling so foreign to this Mitsurugi.

It has me wishing to pull at my hair, and scream like I've never screamed. It leaves me short of breath, my heartbeat throbbing through my chest.

This heart-wrenching feeling—that urges me to drive these chopsticks into the Fukui girl's neck...

What is this toxic feeling that is polluting my head?

Tis not anger—I am no stranger to anger.  
Nor is it hatred. I have hated and been hated before.

Fear.  
Grief.  
Restlessness?

No.

It is not any singular form of these negative emotions. Rather, a summation of them all.  
None of the aforementioned, and yet—not or, and yet—all of those mentioned.

None, and all.

All, but none.

A paradox that has wrapped itself around my Mitsurugi pride.

This self-destructive feeling is entirely new to me...

For what reason have I become surrounded by an emotion this unhealthy?

Every second I spend around him only deepens my utter confusion...

. . .

. . .

 _Him_... I realize.

. . .

 _It involves him_... I should have sooner.

Perhaps what I find most maddening of all, is this unfathomable feeling of—love.

Love—for him.  
For a boy I once knew, as Takeru...

Woe is me...

For this feeling of love is the reason of my woe for my proud self. For why would I fall in love with a man whom I have only just met? A man who—according to the handwriting on the wall, will be the very cause of my eternal rest?

This makes absolutely no sense.

Indeed—how pitiful of me, to so quickly and easily succumb to a tragic account of my story of—love...

And...

I cannot find rhyme.  
I cannot find reason.

Other than—these unfounded visions.

Aneue... if only you were at my side...

Have you ever been as awfully befuddled as I?  
Why does the mind become weak when faced with matters of the heart?  
And, my... your sister's heart... is so weak that she yearns for the man she sees in her dreams, even though that man is the man who takes your sister's life...

I would like to know why...

But the more I think of it, the less I understand.  
The less I understand, the more restless mine heart becomes.

Foremost, I would not have been attacked with reckless abandon by this foreign, ill-sensation were it not for this tragic account of love.

Only, and all because—my heart has known love...

Hence.

It is—maddening.  
Verily perplexing.  
Crippling my capacity as a human—my heart, as a woman...

Truly—what ill-sensation has taken over this love-besotted Mitsurugi?

I lay my chopsticks down on my tray of unfinished food as I stand to depart the dining hall.

My evening's appetite had been scarce before I'd taken my seat, and the arrival of Fukui had erased what little remained of it.

It need be said, that—

So consumed I was by this heart-wrenching feeling that I heard nothing of the discourse of my squadmates prior to and ensuing my leave. Even as my lips parted and closed at the questions they had directed at me, no words ever left my person.

So consumed I was that I had momentarily forgotten Shirogane's inexplicable grasp of Mugen Kidou—the sword art passed unto me by the Regent House of Koubuin through my shishou, Mitsurugi Raiden.

So consumed I was that—as I absently carried out my routine personal exercise, I failed to notice when the afternoon light had completely fallen, and the darkness of night had arisen.

Though that might be attributed to the nights growing brighter as of late.

The moon's waxing crescent has passed a phase to reveal more of its incandescent face.

One more week, I gander, until it rears itself in its entirety, so that I may once again bask in the glow of its lunar beauty.

And as I gaze at the starry night, the sky with nary a cloud in sight, so stills my rumbling heart.

Tsukuyomi? Kindly accept my sincerest apology.

No sooner had your moral lesson freed me from my fear of death than I'd been plagued by this ill-sensation. Though in my defense, this ill-sensation is more frightening than even death...

However. Tsukuyomi, and aneue—

I might not require your counsel, not on this untoward happenstance.

Loath as I am to confess, I believe the root that plagues the love-besotted me is exactly that.  
None other than—love, so I believe.

Thusly, all that ought to be done is resist.

I ought to vigorously resist—this feeling of love.

Love...

For...

Takeru...

And if I can uproot and resist this forlorn love, then I may yet again free myself from this ill-sensation that is more frightening than even death.

 _Ah._

It has dawned on me.

I only now recognize the title of this ill-sensation.

Only now that I had thought myself retired for the day and traversed the barracks for my chambers.

In the course of my stroll, I'd encountered the man I see in my dreams, walking with purpose toward—I know not where.

He has not noticed me in turn, though that is beside the point.

As it were, the title came upon seeing Shirogane unexpectedly at this late hour, and upon seeing, I recalled how Fukui had boldly stolen him in front of me.

And its title is—Jealousy, no longer foreign to this Mitsurugi.

So this is what That feels like...

Now realizing that it is Jealousy that has been plaguing me all evening, like a shadow, I decide to soundlessly pursue the object of my forlorn love, deep into the dead of night.

* * *

 **Yuuko**

* * *

 **(Shirogane)  
** Sensei, is this absolutely necessary for this to work...?

 **(Yuuko)  
** Why of course of course.  
This is me we're talking about;  
I wouldn't be expending the effort unless it was absolutely necessary.

 **(Yashiro)  
**. . .

 **(Yuuko)  
** Look at that, you two look so cute together.

Inside my office, I'm getting everything prepared for Yashiro's projection 'ceremony'.

As long as Shirogane's memory of my self from 'his world' is as intact as he claims, Yashiro should be able to find it, and hopefully project it into my own memory.

Think of this as a reinforcement.

After all, I already do have a vague impression of the anomaly in my formula. I simply need to pinpoint _where_ the heterodox is. Everything else should fall into place thereafter.

I am that confident in my ability to piece it together.

 **(Shirogane)  
** By the way, sensei, it's been deviating too much.  
So much so that I'm afraid I might be branching into a timeline I've never visited—

 **(Yuuko)  
** Do tell.

I am currently busy 'setting the mood'. This is a ceremony, as I said, so I've been rearranging my room to accommodate the ritual Yashiro is to perform.

And due to the solemnity of the circumstance, I had decided to tidy up my room just a bit.

I should've done this sooner so we wouldn't have to waste time like this, but spilt milk doesn't return to the tray.

Near the entrance at the other side of the room, Yashiro and Shirogane are seated together on the couch.

In the same spot.

On the couch.

On the same X and Z coordinates, but slightly different on the Y axis.

In layman's terms, Yashiro is sitting on Shirogane's lap.

I told them this part was important.

 _'Paramount,'_ is the exact word I had used.  
 _'This wouldn't work any other way.'_

And I wasn't lying... Not entirely...

Distance is key to Yashiro's abilities.

The closer she is to the subject, the stronger her mind reading ability.  
The closer she is to the object, the more vivid her projections.

Of course this is the excuse I had said to them, but the other truth is that Yashiro does look adorable sitting on Shirogane's lap.

Her ponytails are in the way of his face.  
Watching him swat it away from his nose every so often is another bonus to this amusing setting.

 _'Where did I put that stupid thing?'_

 **(Shirogane)  
** I might've made a grave blunder...  
Too many events have been happening differently...  
There's no telling what consequences will come of it...

 **(Yuuko)  
** Oh? What kind of differences?

 _Hmm_.

Sounds like Shirogane has been talking about something for a while now.

I've been casually dismissing— _err_ , acknowledging him—because of his vapid elocution, but it's beginning to sound too sober to ignore any longer.

 **(Shirogane)  
**. . .  
Are you sure you're tidying up?

 **(Yuuko)  
** Of course I am.  
My definition of tidy may be different from society's, but that's exactly what I'm doing.

I had dropped a full row of books from the shelf to the floor (to explain Shirogane's offhand question).

 **(Shirogane)  
** I wasn't prepared to meet Capt. Isumi this early on.  
Nor should I have met your STF.  
And now, I've even gotten myself mixed up with Cookie and Ryuu—

 _'But we've made remarkable progress thanks to the XM3, both in the TSF and 00 Unit fronts,'_ I almost utter, but it is his last sentence that has grabbed my attention.

I stop shuffling the papers on my desk to stare at Shirogane.  
The paper I already had in my hand is fixed in place, spared from its cursed fate of being tossed to the side.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Elaborate.

 _'I've even gotten myself mixed up with Cookie and Ryuu.'_

It didn't have to sound strange.  
There was no need for it to sound so surprising.

He was formally introduced to them, and Takahashi-kun, after their hive simulation, as approved by yours truly.

So, why the special mention?

And considering that he didn't recognize them from the outset, I can deduce with absolute certainty that their encounter is a first for Shirogane.

QED—this might be more than just a meager deviation.

That in itself isn't concerning, however, for reasons I shall explain after listening to Shirogane a bit longer.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Well, yeah, I ran into them a few times now—

 **(Yuuko)  
** Have you told them anything you shouldn't have?!

I give voice to my primary concern.

I can hear it tightening (my voice, that is), though that's beyond my control.

 **(Shirogane)  
** About myself?  
Nothing, really.  
I've done more listening than talking.

 _Hmm._

While I would like to doubt him, I don't think he's lying,  
and Yashiro's mellow expression quenches my doubts.

Now.

I've never explicitly told him to keep confidential the nature of his existence.  
Such an order would've been the most obvious thing to do immediately.

However, I felt like imposing something so absolute would be an exercise in futility.

Who's to say that—in a fleeting moment of weakness, Shirogane would slip up anyway?

Absolutes may be possible to impose,  
but impossible to follow through and through.

Just as I, two nights ago, felt like I'd have to call Michiru to go and fetch Shirogane, our decisions as humans come to us naturally based on the moment and circumstance.

How was I to know that it didn't fall in line with Shirogane's future knowledge?  
I don't know the future myself.

Thus, I'd forced no such command on Shirogane.

My decision on this matter is based on—trust.

I trust that—Shirogane will do the right thing,  
and if he doesn't. Well, that would be utterly disappointing.

His battle-hardened heart may be enough to keep him from going astray.

A shell of a human—only able to see his objective and nothing else, is what I would like to think of him.

Cold of me, I am well aware.

But the plain truth is that it would be easier to manipulate him if he has thrown away his humanity. Like a puppet on strings, it'd be a lot less effort for the both of us if he just hands me the reins.

Though I don't believe he's fallen that low just yet.  
I still feel resistance when I tug on a string.

In any event, I shouldn't have to state such an obvious mandate for secrecy.  
I'm sure the Yuukos of other worlds have drilled that into his skull by now.

 **(Shirogane)  
** It's just... It was a mistake getting to know them,  
and I've been trying to avoid them, but—

Oh. That's all it is.

Shirogane's concern is in a thread severed from mine.

A little more relieved, I toss the paper I was holding to the floor as I continue with my tidying-up, quotations implied.

 **(Yuuko)  
** That's probably for the best.  
You best stay away from those kids in particular.  
They tend to stick their noses in where they don't belong.

And among other things, they're dangerously perceptive.

Dangerously.

Perceptive.

I should reiterate.

 **(Shirogane)  
** That information would've been more useful earlier on.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Why's that?

 **(Shirogane)  
** They're impossible to avoid.  
And to make matters worse, I had an altercation with Cookie a few hours ago—

 _'An altercation? Did you hurt her—,'_

Errrr...

 **(Yuuko)  
** Did she hurt you?

 **(Shirogane)  
** No, no one's been hurt, but...  
What do you think, sensei?  
It's all too different from my past loops.  
I feel it diverging too much, it might be best if I reset and—  
 _Ouch!_ Kasumi!

 _Hoh_.

Kasumi had squeezed those ugly bruises on Shirogane's forearms.  
Her beady eyes are even rounder.  
She looks like she wants to badly say something, yet she isn't saying anything.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Neeee Shiroganeee~.  
You talk about 'resetting' like it's nothing.  
I don't think Yashiro likes that.

Yashiro nods her head slowly.

 **(Yuuko)**  
And don't ever bring up 'resetting' ever again.  
At least not in front of me or Yashiro.

 _'Thank you,'_ her eyes say to me.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Besides, like you said, there have been a number of deviations.  
What if one of those deviations has opened up the route to the Conductor?

 _Ah?_ Yashiro?

Is there something you'd like to say?

 **(Shirogane)  
** I... suppose so...  
Although...  
Sensei, you're taking this more lightly than I thought you would.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Is that so?

Drawers fling open as I continue my search—I mean, 'tidying-up'.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Yeah.  
Shouldn't you be worried that I might've made a change that would completely throw off everything I know about the future of this world?  
I'd be useless to you then,  
so I've been under the assumption that you'd show at least some concern.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Has any major event been thwarted or triggered out of schedule?

 **(Shirogane)  
** Well, no, but the consequences aren't always that obvious immediately—

 **(Yuuko)  
** _Aha!_

I've finally found the slippery thing.

Why do important stuff like this always disappear somehow when it's time to actually need them? There has to be a number of wormhole pockets lurking in this room.

Quickly, I bring _it_ with me and take my spot in the seat I had set in front of the couch.

 **(Shirogane)**  
You've turned your office upside-down for _that_?

 **(Yuuko)**  
Save the cheeky comments for after.  
Now, Yashiro, Shirogane.  
Say cheese!

 **(Yashiro)**  
Cheese.

A flash of light temporarily saturates the office.

 **(Yuuko)**  
And this memento isn't for you, anyway.

I say to Shirogane to address the disbelief occupying his face, meanwhile returning the camera into my desk drawer (let's see if it slips into another wormhole and disappears another time).

I'll have the photograph developed as soon as we're through here.

 **(Yuuko)**  
It's for Yashiro.

Yashiro's rabbit ears twitch and flick the back of Shirogane's eyelids, making him rub them out of reflex.

Silly girl.

Speak up if you want to defend yourself.

 **(Shirogane)**  
Now that that's out of the way, can we please get to it?

 **(Yuuko)**  
My my.  
Someone's in a hurry.  
Is there somewhere you have to be after this?

I retake my seat and make myself comfortable anyway.

I've been doing a splendid job at containing my excitement so far,  
but even I can't withhold it for too long.

And I have reached the point of 'too long'.  
I'm practically brimming at the seams with all the pent-up excitement.

Shirogane casts me a sidelong glance as he replies,

 **(Shirogane)**  
I've yet to visit the other room today.

 _Ah_. The 00 Unit's room.

He's been religiously visiting it every night, so it would seem.

 _'Religiously'._

 _Tch_ —I'm not a fan of the word, but it really does suit his nightly routine, doesn't it?

Though it won't be long before that room outlives its purpose,  
when we give the Unit a proper body to contain it.

 **(Yuuko)**  
By the way.

Moving along—or rather, moving sideways before we move along,  
I hazard one last question for Shirogane.

 **(Yuuko)**  
Takahashi must've been there when you encountered the Fukuis.  
Is that safe to assume?

 **(Shirogane)**  
On one occasion, yes he was.  
Why do you ask?

Because I'm curious.

That's all.

I'm only curious.

 **(Yuuko)**  
When you talked to Takahashi...  
Did he... ever... mention... me?

 **(Shirogane)**  
 _Huh?_ He might've, a few times.

Don't get any ideas.

I'm only curious, Yashiro.

 **(Yashiro)**  
. . .

With that settled,  
and without further ado—

 **(Yuuko)  
** Alright, Shirogane.  
Calm your thoughts and recall the memory.

 _'Yashiro, you know what to do.'_

 **(Yashiro)  
** _Hai..._

Sitting in front of their couch, I cross my legs and wait for the ceremony to unfold.

Shirogane slowly closes his eyes.  
Yashiro holds on more tightly to Shirogane's arms.

. . .

For a while, nothing exciting happens.

The only observation worth noting is the sounds of our breathing.

However, for some odd reason, I am immensely conscious of that observation.

How do I put it—

As though the three of us are attempting to match each other's... rhythms?

It's not just our breathing, now that I've zoned in on this heavy ambience.

Body temperature.  
Brain waves.  
Pulse.

Soul?

They're all trying to—synchronize, ludicrous as it sounds.

Almost the second I think of the absurdity of that conclusion—

 _The world around me changes._

Struggle as I might to rationalize the science of what just occurred, no words can possibly do this justice.

A shift. In space.

That's what it felt like.

But that's not what happened.

I'm still in the office.

Yet.

I'm _not_ in the office.

I stand up, but my body does not.

However, I really have stood up.

But—and I kid you not.

My body is still in the seat, legs crossed as I left it.

So why am I able to stand and peer down at my seated body?

I'm sorry...  
I'm rambling...

Only because...

This is all too surreal...

Perhaps in the near future, when my mind has winded down, I might be able to retell these events from an objective and comprehensive point of view.

But then there's the risk that I'd forget, or miss out, some of the important details.

This narration should suffice for now, and if anything comes out incoherent—well, deal with it.

Yashiro?

She and Shirogane are also as I left them on the couch.  
Unresponsive and—unmoving.

I say that because I tried waving my hands and snapping my fingers in front of their faces, to no avail.

It would appear that I am experiencing this phenomenon by my lone self.

A real world, out of body experience.

What science could possibly explain this?

Yashiro—is this the full extent of your projection ability?

 **(? ? ?)  
** Oh, and just to reiterate, I'm sure you all know this already, but this is the equation you use here—

Come to think of it, my body (the body I can control—not the one frozen in time) has a certain degree of translucency.

And now that I think about it even more, when I had said that this office is not my office—that must've been due to the fact that what looks like a translucent classroom is occupying the very same space.

Yashiro's projection is superimposing itself on top of my office.

Incredible.

An out of this world, out of body experience.

Yashiro, you've outdone yourself.  
And perhaps Shirogane deserves some credit as well.

When Shirogane had mentioned that his memories are vivid, I never could've imagined that they were _this_ vivid.

Yuuko, you magnificent genius!  
I knew it was a brilliant idea to bring the two of them together!  
Only I am capable of conjuring such a brilliant plan!

 _Hohoho~._

 **(? ? ?)  
** See the equation in the box there? It's an important one. I'll expound on it a bit over here—

 _Hmm?_

Now that my elation has come down to earth a little, it looks like there's a teacher in front of this superimposed classroom.

 _Hoh_ —that's... me.

I'm a teacher.

Might this be... Shirogane's home world?

And would you look at that attire she has on.

This world's fashion sense is quite more luxurious, but.  
That's a fantastic choice of clothes, if we do say so ourselves.

 _Ah_ —speaking of which.

Where would Shirogane be—never mind. Found him.  
There's his seat.

Surrounded by his peers from Marimo's training squad.

And he has a different look on his face.  
A world of difference, you might even say.

You can tell how much he's grown just by placing their faces next to each other.

Life hits you rather hard and fast, eh, Shirogane?

 _Hohoho~._

In any case, while I would love to dilly-dally, I need what I came for.  
I'm not sure how long Yashiro could maintain this projection.

Alright _Yuuko_ , spit it out already.

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** Listen up! I came up with an amazing idea!  
I came up with it yesterday,  
when I was playing this really boring RPG for the PlayStallion 2.

RPG? PlayStallion 2?

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** I'd be able to create the ultimate parallel computer with the same level of cognitive ability as any human.

Concise and to the point.

Even as a teacher, we can't help but be brilliant, can we, me?

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** Traditional computers work like this—

 _Ughh!_ I take it back.

Spare me the lecture!

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** You! Pay attention! This'll be on the test!

 _Aghh!_ Yes Ma'am!

—Wait.

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** Processing with several semiconductors is faster and more efficient than just one. Incidentally, this is also exactly how the human brain operates.

. . .

. . .

Nothing new so far.

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** But you see, the human brain is comprised of billions of neurons. It's just not feasible to get that many semiconductors and have them work together on the same problem.

For pete's sake, get to the crux, woman!

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** In other words, this is garbage!

 _Huh?_

W–w–what did you call my lifelong research?!

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** This way of thinking is outdated!

 _N–n–nandeste?!_

That witch!

I ought to give her a good slap—if she weren't just a projection, that is...

Matter of fact, when the war against the BETA is over, I'll have to dedicate the totality of my resources to deliver you that interdimensional slap!

Actually—even if we do end up in defeat, until my dying breath, I'll have to dedicate the totality of my resources to deliver you that interdimensional slap!

Hell hath no fury like Kouzuki Yuuko's scorn!

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** Which means, we need one of my strokes of genius here.  
Behold—this will be the harbinger of the next generation!

Oh Yuuko, your diagrams are as elegant as ever!

Here it comes—

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** No matter how many neurons it might have, the brain is still one solitary, self-contained system! There's no need to force billions of semiconductors to work in harmony!

There.

 ** _(Yuuko)  
_** It's not always a matter of quantity.  
Only an idiot would think that!

You've spared yourself my interdimensional slap, woman.

For right there, in the middle of the rugged blackboard, having thrown away the most basic tenet of my parallel computing systems research, lies the key.

The key to humanity's salvation—  
The missing piece to the puzzle of the 00 Unit.

Yuuko! I can almost hug you!

 _Eureka!_

 **(Yuuko and _Yuuko_ )  
**Yes, this is it! This is the answer!

 _'I should go write a thesis on this right away!',_ we both say simultaneously.

That feeling of elation—is coming back to me.

I can't believe it.

It was so, so very simple, yet.  
I couldn't have come up with it in my world, not without that stroke of genius delivered by some R-P-G.

I could feel a voluminous laughter trying to escape me.

This is no time to dally, however.

It's too early to celebrate.  
I'll pop a bottle of _sake_ upon the completion of this onerous research.

For now, though.

 _'All right, Yashiro.  
You can pull me out now.'_

Brushing my hair back with both hands, I brace myself for the return trip, relishing in the best mood I've ever been in throughout my career.

And once again, _the world around me changes._

Except.

I'm still not back in the office?

Where am I?

Another scene has superimposed itself on top of the still reflections of Shirogane, Yashiro and me.

This new scene is that of, a city in ruins?

 _Ara?_

Why'd I come here?

 _Hmm..._

How exactly am I supposed to let Yashiro know to reel me back to reality, anyway?  
Had I known this out-of-body phenomenon would happen, I would've looked into this more thoroughly.

But I hadn't known, so I haven't prepared.

Yashiro? Can you hear me?

 _Haaa..._

I'm in a pickle, looks like.

I try to sort out the options available to me, and in the meantime, I twirl myself around to examine my new surroundings—

. . .

In my whole life, I have never regretted satiating my curiosity.  
That has held true only until this very moment, soon as I fully turned my head to what was behind me.

The grotesque picture that greeted me makes me jump back out of fear.

What the, hell?

Marimo? Marimo?

Marimo?

WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO YOU, MARIMO?!

I—

I try to shriek, but nothing comes out of my lips.

I try to shout, but an invisible force has wrapped itself around my throat.

Marimo's once-beautiful face,  
the top half mutilated and beyond recognition,  
the bottom half tragically attached to the rest of her lifeless body.

Reason deserts me.

I hurl myself at the Soldier Class monstrosity that dismembered my dearest friend.

Tears uncontrollably fall, and my voice finally returns.  
Though the only sound it makes is the wail of a woman's scorn...

But of course...

I slip past the projection, unable to make it disappear.

Unable.

To make it disappear.

All I could do is watch the horrid demise of my dear friend Marimo.

 _'SHIROGANE! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN SHE NEEDED YOU?'_ , I yell instead at the glassy image of Shirogane, Yashiro still on his lap.

My knees feel weak, and they drop to the ground, unable to carry my weight any longer.

 _'Yashiro, get me out of here... please...'_

Enough. I can't bear to watch any more of this...

And again...

 _The world around me changes._

 **(? ? ?)  
** Thank you for everything, Adjutant Commander.

What? What's this now?

 **(? ? ?)  
** I thank you for giving me honourable missions that contributed to the future of humanity.

My Captain... Michiru...

 **(Isumi)  
** You gave my life special meaning when it would have otherwise been ordinary.

ENOUGH! YASHIRO! TAKE ME OUT OF THIS SICKENING FARCE!

 **(Isumi)  
** I'll chase off the devil and his demons before you arrive—

 _*shift*_

 **(? ? ?)  
** Speak of me with pride to your subordinates, alright?  
I'm counting on you, Shirogane.

Hayase... Mitsuki...  
My arms and my sword...

I don't even have the strength to protest any further...

None of these should faze me...

I know damn well what I signed up for...  
I've long convinced myself that I've been able to successfully disconnect my emotions from my responsibilities...

And yet...

To witness these calamities first hand, and up close, I can't help but feel my mask crumble...

. . .

Shirogane...

Have you been carrying this with you, this whole time...?  
This is what you've had to live through...?

 **(? ? ?)  
** All of you, maintain course!  
Let us handle this!

. . .

 _Huh?_

Like a fool, with my eyes closed, I've been stabbing at the air sideways with the imaginary dagger in my hand, stupidly believing that I'd eventually stab the translucent projections out of sight, out of mind.

I had lowered my head, unable to protest, unwilling to witness.  
And thus I've ignored the last shift of phase.

But that voice.

That once-intimate voice...

Is a voice that spurs my heart, even to this day.

So, I _had_ to look up, albeit with a sense of dread.

 **(Takahashi)  
** I'm counting on you—to save humanity!

Not you too...

Don't you dare leave me again, you incorrigible simpleton!

 **(Takahashi)  
** All units, get in front of the A-04!

 _ARGGGGGGGH!_

ENOUGH!

ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH!

ENOUUUUUGH!

 **(Shirogane)  
** Sensei?

 **(Yuuko)  
** —?

I...

I've returned...

Like I had never even left.  
Like I'd been seated cross legged in the chair in front of the couch all along.

Shirogane's lips are moving, though the words are still blurred to me.

Not that I care to listen to what he has to say.

In a fraction of a second, I stand up, grab Shirogane by the shoulder, and lead him out of my offices.

It's... too bad... for these sliding mechanisms...

A slam of the door would've made for a more appropriate effect...

God—damnit...

Damn it...

Damn it...

Damn it all!

I do not wish to witness the deaths of the people I love for a second time...

But Laplace's Demon—

And determinism.

Shirogane's existence has foiled Laplace's classical definition of causality beyond a shadow of a doubt, having met different outcomes throughout his different lifetimes.

There is no one distinct, unavoidable future.

In fact, _no two worlds visited by Shirogane will ever have the exact same outcome_.

Each world is bound to have its own unique thumbprint, so to speak.

Even if Shirogane were to do nothing, nothing at all, and perhaps hide out and isolate himself, _that world's future will still shift by virtue of his observation_.

And if Shirogane were to do everything _exactly as he had done in a previous world_ , down to the finest detail (which is downright impossible, by the way), all he can hope to achieve is _increase the possibility of meeting the same fate_.

For ultimately, at some point, the worlds will eventually diverge from events as miniscule as the blowing of a grain of sand, or Shirogane breathing in a different batch of air.

As such, for instance, in the quantity of parallel universes where Alternative V was activated, Shirogane himself, or those around him, might have died a different manner of death, and at a different time, in each world he has visited.

These he claims to have no memory of, and I will not push the subject on the insignificant details.

Yet another prominent evidence of this postulation is the difference between our worlds.

This world—and Shirogane's 'home world'.

When Shirogane divulged to me the histories of his home world, he pointed out that during the Second World War, the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

That hadn't been done in this reality.

And _that_ —or more precisely, the absence of _that_ _bombing_ —caused a tidal effect as drastic as an alien invasion in the years that followed.

Who would've thought.

Who _could've_ thought...

Regardless—

No two outcomes are ever absolutely the same.

That is the fact of the matter.

If all he is capable of doing is to increase the _possibility_ of repeating an open, boundless system, then I have little hope of controlling the future we are headed for.

Shirogane's future knowledge _was, is_ , and _will always be,_ a bet on a _possibility_ , at best.

Thus, as I had mentioned prior, Shirogane's worry about the deviations he's been making _makes little difference to me_ , for I am fully aware of the futility in trying to pull the strings of one so ungraspable and limitless as the future.

The closest I can get is by _betting on a possibility_.  
I can place my bets on Shirogane...

Although...

I had said to him that _their_ deaths are necessary for the preservation of humanity...  
 _That their downfalls draw out the best causalities, and grant us the best possibility, of winning the war against the BETA._

And that is my ultimate goal...

Nevertheless...

I can't erase Marimo's image from my thoughts, neither can I forget _his_ voice...

Are the two elements truly mutually exclusive?  
Truly, and absolutely—mutually exclusive?

Is there a path with the _best possibility_ of not just the preservation of the human race, but of my... loved ones... as well?

I might be trying to bite more than I can chew,  
or maybe I'm even grasping at straws here.

But—I'm a genius, damnit!

Maybe I can come up with something—

What about the Causality Conductor?

What about that?

That is another puzzle I have yet to fathom.

But Shirogane himself has admitted that we haven't found out the _cause_ that brought about the Causality Conductor.

 _And any uncaused cause could destroy the universe,  
_ so said the Greek scholars of old.

 _'For nothing exists or has come into being in the universe without a cause,'_ so said the Greek scholars of old.

 _'And if any uncaused movement is introduced into (the universe), it would disintegrate into pieces and cease to function, falling into chaos.'_

So if I were to determine the true _cause_ of the Conductor, then perhaps we can restore order to this world and need not worry about disrupting our best causalities—

But what of quantum indeterminism and Chaos Theory?

It would utterly destroy the best possibilities out of Shirogane and his future knowledge!

 _Gah!_

I'm... exhausted...

I really am grasping at straws...

My head isn't thinking straight...  
My emotions are clouding my mental faculties...

. . .

 _Ah._

Yashiro has fainted unto the couch.

But, her breathing is steady, and her cheeks are pale pink.  
She's just resting...

That's—a relief. I'm tired out too, so.  
Please allow me to sleep beside you for a while, Yashiro...

Perhaps I can think this more clearly come morning.

My shoes fall to the carpet as I tuck myself in with the little girl on our makeshift bed, my coat serving as our blanket...

I have never wished to be more wrong about something.

I wish... that I am terribly wrong...  
Desperately wrong...  
About you, Shirogane...

If there is humanity in you left...  
I hope you do something... anything... about that dreadful future...

That is the last thought in my weary mind, just as sleep immediately finds me.

* * *

 **Mitsuki**

* * *

Breathe easy, me.

If those chumps can learn it quickly, there's no reason I shouldn't be able to.

It's approaching midnight, which means I've been at it for almost eight nonstop hours.  
Yet the most I've been able to accomplish is a slow walk, and I could only do so in straight lines.  
Even then, I keep losing my rhythm after a short distance.

Turning is especially tedious; I lose my balance at every curve.

This is almost worse than my very first go-around with the simulators, three years back.

Thank goodness for this feedback system—my stumbles and falls no longer rock the cabin as much as it used to.

Still, I shouldn't be stumbling in the first place, as the G-forces in the real TSFs could get multiple times worse than the simulators, so I'd rather smoothen this here than out in the real thing.

It's proving rather difficult, though.

The responsiveness has been upped a notch or thirty, and the concept of 'cancels', while brilliant in theory, is harder to put into practice.  
I'll worry about 'combos' later, after I have the 'cancels' down.

Now then, having said all that—

Why? Why are the Fukuis and the newbies one step ahead of me?!

 **(Haruka)**  
How are you holding up, Mitsuki?

 _Hmm?_

The hologram of Haruka appears on my retinal projector, a hint of concern in her voice.  
Concern that I don't need.  
Yeah—that's the last thing I need in my current standstill.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Shh_ —you're breaking my concentration.

I brush off her pity.

 **(Haruka)**  
You've been awfully quiet this whole time.  
I haven't been getting any readings from you for a while now.  
You're the lowest contributor for our data collection at this rate,  
and I can't tweak your control settings if you don't give me something to work with.

Right. Data collection.

The dangerous notion—that my current progress is in fact due to the data shared by the rest of the test pilots, and not my own doing—comes and goes in my thoughts.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Like I said, I've been concentrating.

 **(Haruka)**  
If you say so...

 _Urk!_

I know I haven't said, or even moved, in the last thirty minutes, it's just...  
It's mentally taxing just setting my simulated-TSF in motion, and even more taxing to maintain the pace, so every stumble hurts not only my butt, but my brain to boot.

Honestly—how did Shirogane make it look so easy?  
And the younglings—how'd they pick up on it so quickly?

It's almost as if it's designed specifically for rookies, and not for veterans like me!

With this looming in my mind, I am unable to call it a day, even when Touko, Misae, and all the 207-A girls had done so over two hours ago. And with Michiru, Ryuu and Takahashi-san still practicing, Haruka has the high honour of staying over until all of us decide to retire.

 _Khh_ —

Even Takahashi-san now has progress to show, while Michiru, like me, has paused.

Though I bet she's being more constructive.

If I know her well enough, which I do (I'd like to believe), she's most likely engrossed in the control logs of someone else.

Of someone like Shirogane, perhaps.  
Or even of Kukiko, or Ryuuseiu...

Speaking of... Ryuu...

That oaf.

I suppose it's not as bad as it was earlier this evening, now that his twin had left.  
But— _ughh!_

Can he be any more flaunting with his almost-immediate mastery of this new OS?!

Look at him—he's still showing off.  
One would think he'd get tired of it after dancing around all evening.  
He must be doing this to spite me, right—?

 **(Haruka)**  
Don't beat yourself up if it's not clicking right off the bat.  
There's a steep learning curve, but it's clear skies once you get over the top—

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Steep learning curve?  
Akane didn't seem to think it was that steep!

Even Haruka's younger sister, Akane, who has been looking up to me all this time, now has me looking up at her!

 **(Haruka)**  
 _Ah._ That's by design.  
Old habits die hard, you're learning the hard way.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Tell me something else I don't know—

I almost say, but Haruka's hologram makes me think twice with those narrow slits also known as her eyes.

However, her following words betray the admonishment I thought I'd receive for my sass.

 **(Haruka)**  
Do you remember the first time we went through the pilot aptitude test?

An unexpected direction, she has taken.

Haruka says 'we', though she really means to say just 'me', as she never went through the aptitude test herself because of her injury.

She's being considerate for my sake, and I know better than to correct her.

Like me, Haruka hates it when people show her any pity.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Yeah, how could I forget?  
What a disaster that was, _ahaha~_.

What else can I do but laugh at myself?

I remember my tryout, clear as mud—I mean, crystal.

Jinguuji-kyoukan declared my results the worst she'd seen in the history of surface pilots.

But I knew that myself before she'd announced it, of course.  
I was a total mess and a nervous wreck the moment I first sat in the cabin's seat.

It was a whole new world to me.

The controls, the movements, not to mention the embarrassing transparency of the armoured suits—  
It was too much to take in all at once.

Seriously.

I know of no other way to describe it, other than that it really was a whole new world to me.

And while everyone laughed when Kyoukan declared my disastrous results to the class, Takayuki-kun and Haruka were quick to shut them up.

I decided, then and there.

That incident embarrassed me to high heavens that I promised I'd toil myself to the bone and become the best surface pilot the world has ever seen.

 **(Haruka)**  
You spent every minute of free time practicing and studying, didn't you?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Until my fingers started bleeding—

 **(Haruka)**  
I remember no such thing!

I never told her, or even Takayuki-kun.

It was more than enough that he and Haruka were always at my side when I needed them,  
so I never wanted to worry anybody.

Haruka—back then, she was coping with the loss of her legs.

I never wanted her to worry... I never wanted her to realize that...  
I was toiling myself senseless—to make up for the both of us...

Because if she would never be able to sit inside a TSF, then however great I was striving to be, I had to be twice as better, for Haruka's sake...

 _I had to be the best..._

So that we could protect he who was precious to us...

And by the way, my fingers really did bleed at times.  
From big things like smashing my fist or constantly chafing against my armoured suit, to the little things like paper cuts and nail digging.

I always had a fresh supply of band-aids then, as well as some ice and water whenever Sgt. Maj. Kyozuka had some to spare.

 **(Haruka)**  
Against all odds, we all know how you ended up,  
Storm Vanguard One.

If she smiles any wider, my cheeks would get redder!

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Hmmm_...

Returning to the topic at hand—

I had originally believed that Haruka brought us through memory lane because she thinks me defeated right now.

My present predicament closely resembles that of the past, I suppose.

Still—it should be even less of a reason for her concern, because she should know that I would never give up!

 **(Haruka)**  
I bet you're wishing you had this OS back then!

 _Ackh!_

We've boarded two completely separate trains of thought!

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Why? What difference would it make?  
Actually—if I had to learn something this complicated, I would've been even worse off!

 **(Haruka)**  
Not really, no.  
I could see why you'd think that though.  
This XM3 system is especially effective on fresh Eishis so that they'd fall right into Shirogane's default piloting style, hence why 207-A is picking it up fairly faster.  
We'll need to collect more data from Shirogane himself and tweak it as we need to,  
but any progress from him and everyone tonight will be stored in the library and shared in real-time.

 _Hoh?_ So that's how it works?

It almost sounds too easy, for a brand new Eishi to start off as good as Shirogane...  
How would they ever come to appreciate the value of hard work?

In this regard, I've honestly developed a great respect for Shirogane.

While it is natural to only see the end result (in this case, his piloting mastery), it would be borderline insulting to pay no mind to what he has gone through to achieve that level of competence.

I would bet every strand of Haruka's hair that Shirogane had to shed a lot of blood, sweat and tears to stand where he is now.

It might be talent—maybe I could chalk it up to talent or genius, but even those won't do any good without the virtue of perseverance.

It'd be interesting to find out what hardships Shirogane had to go through...  
I intuit that he has one hell of a background story.

I should remind myself to ask him if I get the chance.

 _'Were you kidnapped as a child and forced into elite training by some dark underground secret organization?'_

That sounds like a fair question.  
Yeah—that's how I'll phrase it.

 _Hmm_...

Of course I'm complaining like this, but it's actually quite fortunate if everyone would be as proficient as him.

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.  
Either that or I'm falling behind the times.

Incidentally, and at any rate,  
Haruka does make a strong argument if you look at 207-A's remarkable progress,  
but even more remarkable than theirs is...

 **(Mitsuki)  
**. . .  
And—the Fukuis?

If the argument is made for green Eishis, and not for veterans like me, then why isn't it holding water for the twins?

 **(Haruka)**  
Come now, Mitsuki.  
We were like sponges too when we were their age.

 _Tsk._

Since when did we become 'old' all of a sudden?

 **(Haruka)**  
In fact, you should ask them for a hand if you're still struggling with your footwork.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Whoa whoa whoa_ —wait a minute!  
I never said I needed a hand!

 _'Ask them for a hand,'_ she says.

 _Hah._ She sounds drastic.

If I want help with my footwork, I need better feet, not hands!

 **(Haruka)**  
I thought you'd say that.  
You're not used to asking for help—

That goes without saying.  
After all, I didn't earn the title of Storm Vanguard One out of thin air, as I only just shared.

I'm one of the best, simply put.

And put simply—being one of the best means that I'm usually the mentor, not the pupil.  
I'm the helping hand—not the hand that asks for help.

So it goes without saying that I'm not used to asking for help.

It's unheard of. Like an eagle asking pigeons how to fly.  
Why should they, when eagles are king of the skies?

 **(Haruka)**  
Maybe you're right.  
Eagles may be accustomed to reigning the skies,  
so it wouldn't behoove them to look above, right?  
But then, how'd they know when another bird flies even higher?  
They'd never see the albatross when it swoops away their throne.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
The joke's on the albatross—isn't there a myth about flying too close to the sun?

 **(Haruka)**  
You're ignoring my point, Mitsuki!  
There is no shame in asking for help!  
Don't let your pride get in the way!

 _Ngh..._

This isn't a matter of pride, however.

This is about— _them_...  
Them... and... my beloved... Takayuki-kun...

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Hmph._  
Be that as it may.  
Maybe when heaven and earth flip over, I'd consider asking their help.

Her projection takes a deep breath, then lets it out shortly.

 **(Haruka)**  
Willful as ever, are we?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Haruka,

I say with a bit more solemnity,

 **(Mitsuki)**  
It still—hurts...

So I admit.

Only to Haruka can I speak this openly about our common love interest.  
Only to my close friend Haruka can I openly say that I miss dear Takayuki...

And that's the simple truth.

When it comes down to it—  
I cannot bring myself to associate with Takayuki-kun's old squadmates...

It'd be an insult to him... I'd be betraying him, wouldn't I?

So... I just can't do it...

As much of a soldier as I think I am, I still find it unfair that he died, while they—they survived...  
Especially when... they could've brought him back...

 **(Haruka)**  
I miss him too, you know... but...

Haruka continues, almost as if she's reading my mind.

 **(Haruka)**  
Are you saying that all of Squadron 8 should've died with him and Shinji?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Gr_ —that's not what I said.

 **(Haruka)**  
Do you hate Ryuu, Kuki and Ichimonji-san that much,  
that you'd rather die than ask for their help?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
I...

Haruka... I don't know how you've gotten over it, but...  
You were always the stronger out of the two of us...

Emotionally, psychologically, and—were it not for your accident during the CCSE—physically as well.

I've been trying, and trying, and trying to forget... and yet...  
How you've already forgiven them is beyond me...

 **(Haruka)**  
That settles it, then. I'll have Ryuu-kun come over.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Wait! Don't you dare bring him here—!

Too late.

Dear me—she can be amazingly persistent at times.  
And I don't understand why she persistently tries to reconcile us...

Not everyone is as strong as you, Haruka—

 **(Haruka)**  
 _Ehhh..._

The hologram whirs back to life without warning.

She looks all bashful, for some reason.

 **(Haruka)**  
Ryuu-kun refused to lend you a hand...  
 _Ehehe..._

She follows up with a nervous laugh.

That—is not funny.  
Not even close!

 **(Mitsuki)**  
He said he wouldn't help?!  
Why that little—!

 **(Haruka)**  
Mitsuki, hold on, we'll think of something else—

It's Haruka's turn to be too late.

I had already unseated myself and made my way to knock on his simulator cabin.

 _Knock._

 _Knock knock._

 _Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock—_

Until it hisses open.

Out comes the runt, dirty scarf and everything.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
What gives? _Ughh_ —it's _you._

I'm not sure what to make of that tone he's using.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
What's your deal, Ryuu?  
You'd help out everyone else but me?

No point in pretending I hadn't noticed, because I certainly know that he was entertaining every question thrown at him by seemingly everyone else, but now that it is I who's asking—

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
You're full of it.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Excuse me?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Am I supposed to barge my way to you like you just did, just because I see you struggling?  
Get over yourself—I'm not that kind, nor caring.  
If you'd asked me sooner, and more nicely, _maybe_ I would've.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Ask... you...?

Wait—

Haruka?  
HA-RU-KA?

She said she had asked him!  
What's she playing me for?!

 _Gah_ —her tab is getting longer by the minute!

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Whatever, I gotta get back to Aniki—

He turns to reenter his cockpit, though he doesn't move any further than his first step backward.

Actually—let me clear up that nuance.

It's not that he _doesn't_ move any further.  
The truth is that he _can't_.

He can't move any further.

Because I had grabbed him by the scarf.

The scarf that he doesn't allow anyone to touch.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Anego, I'd let go of that, if I were you—

Sharp, threatening eyes make their way to me,  
but I venture forward nonetheless.

This is more than just my pride on the line...

 **(Mitsuki)**  
I'm—asking...

I gulp the words.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Are?_

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Takahashi-san can now walk and run without difficulty.  
I, on the other hand—I need a hand at maintaining my stride.  
I'm asking—for your help.

I gulp my pride.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Haaaaa_ —

He crosses his arms and pokes his forehead with his left index finger, overemphasizing his contemplation.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Be right back.

He finally responds.

At that, he yanks the piece of cloth I had my grip on and closes the cabin door.

To my surprise.

To my humiliating surprise.

I can do nothing but jump back as it descends.

As soon as it does, however.

 _Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock—_

 _*hiss*_

It opens for the second time.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Geez_ —you've never been one for patience, huh Anego?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Patience?! You closed the door in my face!

He seriously gets on my nerves.

But.

I have to endure.

I have to get the XM3 down, or at least find my footing, else I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I said I'd be right back, didn't I?

If only there was something close by I could wipe that smirk off with.

Although, I don't think I heard him say that he'd be right back, or did I?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Either way, it's rude to close the door in anyone's face.

At least I could teach him some manners.  
Considering his upbringing, he might not be aware of that etiquette.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Oh I know it is.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Then—!

 _Nghhh..._

My fist clenches but I hide it in time.

He's being rude on purpose.

How the hell did this guy get along with Takayuki-kun?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I had to let Aniki know.  
Turns out he's okay by himself for now.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
You had to ask Takahashi-san's permission?  
What is he—your father?

Even I could hear the irritation in my voice.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Aniki is Aniki, the same way you are Anego.  
No one can replace anyone else, as you very well know.

 **(Mitsuki)  
**. . .

Why do I detect a reference to Takayuki-kun in that statement?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Anyhow—you might want to watch what you say next.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
And why would that be?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Aniki and I have switched our radios back to the common channel.

He taps the microphone on the chin of his armoured suit while pointing that out.

I thought it'd been an empty threat, but now knowing that Takahashi-san might be able to hear us, I definitely have to choose my next words wisely!

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Ah._ Excuse me, Takahashi-san.  
I won't be too long; you could have him back soon as I get my motions under wrap—

Earnestly, I try to apologize for my earlier comment, in case he'd take it the wrong way.  
As well as for borrowing his coach for a short while.

In the middle of it though, Ryuu suddenly bursts out laughing.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I can't believe you fell for it.  
Aniki doesn't mind, he might've turned his radio off even.  
Boy—you should've seen the look on your face!

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Grrr!_ That wasn't even funny...

Whatever.

Honestly, must he take every opportunity to further my disdain?

Childish antics aside, I'd rather get down to business.

So, before he gets another chance to take me for a fool again,  
I grab him by the arm with the intent to get it over and done with.

 _'This eagle will soar high in no time, no thanks to Haruka.'_

So I say to myself, but the arm I grabbed wouldn't move.

I try yanking it (without looking back).

. . .

Nope, it still won't move.

After the second attempt, I turn my eyes back to him.

The guy has planted his feet firmly on the ground.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
What's the matter?

Has he changed his mind?!

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Anego, I still haven't said if I've decided to help you out.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Haa?_

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I just don't see what I could get out of this, you know?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Nandeste?!_  
Being part of the same squad isn't good enough of a reason?!

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Hmm,_ nope.  
Not good enough.  
How about we talk terms, then?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Terms?

Oh.

Terms.

Obviously.

Right.

What's he talking about?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Yeah, terms.  
An eye for two eyes, you know?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
You might've misunderstood the context of that phrase.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Really? In what way?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Never mind—

I won't even bother pointing out the error in that.

 _Ughh_. Everything has a cost with this brother and sister pair.

I cock my head to the side, hair blocking my eyes,  
but letting him know I have an ear to listen to his terms.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Alright, so let's see.  
You'll do as I say, no questions asked.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
No.

I am forced to say no.

 _'No questions asked'?_  
That's too much power, isn't it?

Who knows what perverted ideas he has in mind.

Then again—I might have the perverse mind for thinking of the perverted ideas that Ryuu might have in mind.

. . .

I've been spending too much time around Misae, haven't I?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Hmph_. Well then.  
We change our squad name back to the Camelot Knights.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
No—

He's still hung up on that?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
From now on, you have to call me Capt. Drachen.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
That doesn't sound too difficult, I mean—  
That's ridiculous! No—

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I'll help you for free—

 **(Mitsuki)**  
—No.

 _Oops_...

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** You're determined to decline anything I say, aren't you.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
. . .

I don't know how to respond.  
I'd rather not incriminate myself any more than I already have.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** I don't think you understand the point of a negotiation, Anego.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Just cut this out and help me already, will you.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
 _Hmph_. Whatever.  
Fine.  
Let's get this over with.

Heaven's sake.

I should be saying that, not him.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Let's go.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Go where?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
To your cockpit, featherbrain.

He waves his palm irritably.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Oh, of course.  
Alright.

 _Phew!_

What a chore it has been to get to this point, but I'm glad we're making progress.

It might be a while, and it might be a lot later, but I'd at least be able to fall asleep tonight without being harrowed by my incompetence.

As I move along toward my cabin, Ryuu's footsteps from behind confuses me a bit.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
 _Uh_ , where are you going?

He can't possibly be thinking about going into my cabin, can he?

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
To your cockpit, featherbrain.

You said that already.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
I know that, what I'm wondering is why.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Unless there's something wrong with my ears, which I know there isn't,  
didn't you say you needed my help?

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Yeah, but—  
You're supposed to coach me, which you could do from your own cabin!

Just like what he's been doing with Takahashi-san.

Besides, there's only one seat per simulator cabin.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Where do you plan to sit anyway, on my lap?

I chide him.

It probably doesn't help that I grabbed him by the arm earlier, but I only pulled it on an impulse, not because I had really meant to bring him here.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
Don't worry about me.  
I've seen how you drive,  
I'll be able to stay on my feet.

Breathe easy, me...

I only need to get over the learning curve...  
I only need to endure Ryuu's taunts until then...

We arrive inside my simulator cabin, and I take my place in the pilot's seat.

As I buckle myself up—  
Something else has me uneasy.

Earlier, he was wondering what he could get out of helping me.

I had offered him nothing in return, and even declined everything that he'd proposed.

I might be anxious for no reason,  
but when dealing with him and his sister, it's best to stay on my toes.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
By the way, Anego.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
What now?

 _Click_ , goes the last clip of my belts.

 **(Ryuuseiu)**  
I need to clear something up—  
I've been helping everyone, and now you.  
Only because I enjoy watching someone toil, yet still fail.  
And you've been stumbling a lot, Anego.  
Now I get a front row view of you falling.

 _'Fun—in case you were wondering what I'll be getting out of this,'_ he finishes, as my cabin door fully closes.


	22. Garden Rendezvous

**Chapter 22 – Garden Rendezvous**

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

What the hell was that about?

 _'Did you find anything?'  
'Sensei, you look pale.'  
'Hello? Can you hear me?'_

She completely ignored everything I had asked her and kicked me out without so much as a reason.

Fuck.

She's treating me like a child.

A child would've started banging and kicking on your door, sensei.  
But that's not what I'm doing, is it?

 _Tch..._

She must've had cause to do so (I shall refrain from assuming whether it was reasonable or not), though I wouldn't put it past her not to have one...

I'll come back another time, I suppose.

In a sense, I sort of understand sensei's burden better now.

 _'Knowledge of the future is a heavy burden to carry,'_ Yuuko-sensei had said when I first met her this loop.

I thought I'd fully understood the meaning of her words that day, but only recently have I realized the true severity behind them.

Knowledge—overall and above all else—is one hell of a burden.

I mean.

Having relived these days countless times over, I've lost all sense of excitement in my life.

And life without the element of surprise is—painfully boring.  
And boringly painful.

Knowing what happens in the next minute, the next hour, and the days to come—

When people wish they could see the future, I'm not sure they are fully aware of what it is they're really wishing for. I for one wouldn't wish this psychological torture on my worst enemy.

I can't even fake any goddamn excitement anymore, for the life of me.

So I think I understand Yuuko-sensei's genius, if only by a little.  
Knowing too much really does entail a heavy burden of responsibility...

Even ignoring the fact that I've been sent back here, why the hell do I see _everything_ anyway?

Used to be, my trivial memories would remain in the world I left behind (though the 'data' would come back to me soon as I revisited that world). I had so far only been able to recollect the most glaring events.

However—this time, _I remember everything, down to the finest details._

Something is undoubtedly aloof, this time around...

 _Hmmm..._

Be that as it may.

Even if I looped back, if I had no memory of the horrors of the previous worlds, at least I'd still be able to enjoy life as a clueless teenage boy, as much as a teenage boy could enjoy life stranded in a world with a war waged against alien invaders.

Still... at least I'd be able to cluelessly enjoy life, right?  
I seemed to be able to manage when I first started out.

And since I remember everything, when I do return home, things will never be as it once was.

It's not like we can simply go back to the days of our blissful ignorance... right?  
Too much has happened, and as a result—

What's next, anyway?

 _Huh_ , Sumika?

. . .

. . .

. . .

I'm ranting again, aren't I, Sumika?

With what you're currently dealing with, my outpour is probably just a trickle in your torrent of pain. And though I can't discern whether sensei had found what she was looking for or not, I'll get you out of this wretched stasis chamber no matter what.

You might be able to tell, however—

That as much as I don't want to compromise the route we're taking, I'm— _enjoying_ , the little differences that are occurring. Only because they're _different_. And _new_.

See these bruises, Sumika?

It hurt when Meiya had struck me. It still does, to tell you the truth.

Yet, underneath the throb and pang, _I enjoyed it_ _because it was unique._

For a brief moment, though it was a moment of pain, _I felt—alive again._

And I might not openly admit it, but—I'm equally excited to later see Kukiko, whom I've been trying to push away with little success. That girl is incredibly persistent.

I secretly find her spontaneous undertakings welcoming to my otherwise monotonous life.

Can you believe it, Sumika? That there'd be someone even more annoying than you?

She's like a nagging younger sister. Not that I know what nagging younger sisters are really like, although I do believe I have a good enough picture by now.

Putting her aside—

I guess I'm telling you all this, Sumika, because...  
Perhaps I'm hoping that doing so will help absolve what guilt I have for _enjoying_ these new developments.

It is not, by any means, immoral of me—to want to feel alive, so I can't bring myself to apologize for _wanting_ these new changes.

Knowing full well that it might change this future...

I'm tempting destiny and dreaming of my own future...

One with... a happy ending...

Even if happily-ever-afters are only a thing of fairy tales...

And yet...

I'm not sure of which I'm more afraid of, Sumika.

Failing once again—only to have to start back at the beginning, or.  
Succeeding—and making all my actions in this world _permanent_.

 _Permanent_ —even the word itself has a foreboding sense of finality, doesn't it?

For if and when I put an end to everything and arrive _home_ , should I pursue the same course, everyone I care for would be permanently dead in _this_ _world_.

The very same world I so desperately tried to save, refuses to allow my loved ones to live...

(Permanently dead—isn't that a redundant clause?).

Talk about a grand case of irony.

 _No good deed goes unpunished,_ is a gross understatement.

Maybe I haven't grown as much as I thought I had, but if _this_ is what being a grown-up is like, then I never should've grown in the first place.

Do grown-ups really have to put up with being dead inside...?

Anyway, Sumika.

Some sick bastard up there or down below is determined to make me struggle.

. . .

I can almost picture Yuuko-sensei reprimanding me for thinking this way.

 _'Give me a break, sensei,'_ I'd retaliate. _'At least allow me to dream these dreams...'  
_ As long as I'm keeping these dreams to myself... because that's what an adult would do, right?

* * *

Before these headaches get any worse, I bolt out the exit after bidding Sumika good night. I still haven't figured out why this happens every time I visit this room.

'This'—is a reference to the sharp migraine that comes out of nowhere after I spend a bit of time with her.

First there'd been the mystery of my complete archive of memories, and now these migraine attacks.

I've ascertained as much that it has something to do with this room, as it disappears the instant I leave.

I wonder if this is Sumika's doing. Nothing else comes to mind, though I don't see why she would be giving me these headaches.

Whatever.

I'll find out when we 'free' her...

 **(? ? ?)  
** Out for another late night stroll?

Oh...

I've arrived at the gates sooner than I'd anticipated.

 **(Takeru)  
** Yes sir.

I flash him my leave permit, but he waves me off indiscreetly, as he did the last time.

 **(Corporal)  
** Don't worry about that, I have you covered.

 **(Takeru)  
** _Ah?_

Once again, these guards are too—trusting?

This level of trust is a little unnerving, I have to admit, considering they're supposed to be the initial line of security.

 **(Corporal)  
** It's not like you'll be sneaking off for good, yeah?  
The next closest habitation isn't for days, after all.

He finishes with a hearty chuckle.

That's right.

These guys failed the Eishi aptitude test, I recall, so they hold surface pilots in high regard.

I don't think that's the only reason they're this lenient with me, however.

 **(Corporal)  
** Easy, easy, there.  
If you can't sleep in the base, you can't sleep in the base.  
Some people can, and some people can't.

 _'And it's up to those who can to make up for those who can't,'_ adds his partner.

They speak of this so nonchalantly—as though personnel leaving and going like this is no rare occurrence.

 **(Corporal)  
** So stop giving us the stink-eyes, alright?

Stink-eyes? Am I giving off that look?

 **(Takeru)  
** Oh, I wasn't trying to—

 _Gah_. I have my (figurative) guard up even in harmless situations like this.

 **(Takeru)  
** By the way.

I kind of already know the answer, but I ask away regardless while re-pocketing my now-useless permit.

 **(Takeru)  
** Has anyone else passed by here tonight?

 **(Corporal)  
** _Ah_ , you mean Kukiko?  
What's it been, half an hour?

 **(Corporal)  
** Something like that.  
Yep. She's been out for a while now.

That answers my question, I guess.

Huh—they're even on a first-name basis with Kukiko.

That shouldn't be surprising, should it?

If I take Takahashi's word at face value, that they do sleep out there every night because of the demons that haunt them inside, then Kukiko must be a regular customer to this here security detail.

 **(Corporal)  
** Now that you bring it up...  
She seemed to be in a surprisingly lifted mood, didn't she?

 **(Corporal)  
** _Haha_. Even more spirited than usual, would you believe.  
I wonder what has her all uppity.

 **(Takeru)  
** _Eh?_

She? In a good mood?

The same girl that had tried to stab me?

 **(Takeru)  
** Is she always that way?

 **(Corporal)  
** _Hmm_...

The guy scratches his chin in thought with the butt of his rifle.

 **(Corporal)**  
She's pretty down-to-earth, in the general sense.  
On occasion, she even stops by to gossip.  
I can't tell you how many times she's gotten us in trouble for 'slacking off'!

 **(Corporal)**  
But this was a 'Hi-Bye' kind of night, I suppose.

I find that very hard to believe.

They're describing her almost as if she's a decent person.

We must be talking about different Fukui Kukikos, right?

 **(Takeru)  
** Thank you.

 _'No matter,'_ I shrug off what the corporals had said.

Returning theirs with a wave of my own, I make my way to the sakura garden.

Takahashi might help clear things up a bit, and Ryuu—yeah, about that.

I have yet to figure out how to stomach her twin brother.

Kukiko might be annoying, but Ryuu is even more frustrating in his own right.

That Takahashi trusts Ryuu rather complicates everything. And to be frank, had it not been for Takahashi, I wouldn't have thought twice about cutting ties with him immediately after—

 _Huh?_

I've spun my head around.

I thought I had heard the crunch of a dry leaf.

There's no one, or no thing, behind me, however.

 _Hmmm..._

It might be the middle of the night, but it's not dark enough to lose all of my vision. The moon is out and so are the stars, and my eyes have well-adjusted by now.

Nothing here seems out of the ordinary.  
Nothing but the earth, the sakura trees, and a gentle breeze, as one would expect.

 _'Must've been the wind,'_ I conclude, continuing down the slope.

Before long, in the direct vicinity of 'my' sakura tree, sitting cross-legged, I spot a silhouette.

 _A_ —silhouette.

Singular, where there should be plural.

One, where there should be three.

Odd. I had thought that all three of them would be here tonight?

And that's not the only oddity.

As I walk closer to the rendezvous point, I hear—humming.

I'm now able to positively identify Kukiko (she hasn't seemed to notice me just yet, by the by), but she's humming a tune.

I can't say I recognize it though.  
It's a tune I've never heard of.

It doesn't sound intricate or anything.

It's a quaint, simple tune, in fact, and the simple fact that Kukiko is humming such a tune is what has me taken aback.

I almost feel bad to interrupt her. I can faintly see her head swaying as she hums along, and she's holding something in her hand—

Just as I take a moment to delight in a startling side to Kukiko, she jumps up and turns toward me.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Oh?

She begins.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Not you again.

Kukiko, caustic as ever— _wait_ , what'd she say?

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Ughhhhh.  
_ Why do we keep running into each other?

 _'Why do we keep running into each other?'!_

What in the world? She sounds genuinely surprised! And repulsed, at that!

 **(Takeru)**  
Stop joking around, Kukiko. We said we'd meet here—

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Ackh!_

Out of the blue, Kukiko jumps again, this time into a self-defensive stance, with her hands rolled into fists and positioned close to her chest (not that she has much of a chest to be proud of—but, that's not what I'm trying to say!).

 **(Kukiko)**  
Have you been stalking me and finally decided to make your move? In the middle of the night, where no one else is around? _Urk!_ What perverted motives do you have in mind?! Stay where you are! I must warn you, criminal: You might think me young and weak—but I'm armed and murderous! And even if you were to overpower me, all I need to do is scream, and my idiot of a boyfriend will come rushing to my rescue!

 _'Armed and murderous'?_

Is there a phrase that fatal?

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

And colour me impressed.

She said all that without even pausing to breathe.

But this is no time to be impressed—not when there's an alarming confusion I need to clear.

 **(Takeru)**  
Kukiko! Get a grip, it's me, alright? It's me!

God.

Her scream is the last thing I need in our present situation.  
What a misunderstanding that would create, should I get caught as I am.

And—what the hell?

I'd thought she recognized me, but it sounds like she had me mistaken for somebody else.

Someone who's been stalking her, apparently.

I didn't know such dubious characters existed among the residents of this base.

On that note, though, my circle of relationships here is somewhat limited, so I don't suppose my limited circle may have been sheltered from dubious characters such as stalkers?

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Eh?_ Oh no!

Her body language takes a full 180, though her tone of voice is as domineering as ever.

 **(Kukiko)**  
I'm sorry for calling you vulgar names!  
Please accept my deepest apologies!  
I thought you were this guy named Takeru-chan—

 **(Takeru)**  
. . .

She hasn't recognized me at all...

And she told 'me', a supposed stranger, that 'Takeru-chan' is a stalker...  
A stalker with perverted motives, apparently...

 **(Kukiko)**  
That's not quite right either.  
That voice was Takeru-chan's, no two ways about it.

. . .

How convenient.

 _Now_ she recognizes me, only after admitting to the supposed stranger that I'm supposedly a perverted stalker.

 **(Kukiko)**  
But that'd be impossible.  
Takeru-chan calls me Cookie, so you can't be him.  
Nice try, impostor!  
Now get lost before I call for help!

Oh, right.

Kukiko—I've been calling her Kukiko because...

I'm here to put an end to _us_.

And not calling her by her nickname should remove what little sense of connection we share before it gets any worse...

Or so I've been telling myself...

 **(Takeru)**  
It's me, Cookie. It's really me.

I relent.

Frantically, I shake my hands upwards, implying no intent for quarrel.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Ahaha~._ That's more like it, Takeru-chan~.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Nnhhh..._

I've just been played, haven't I?

She probably has me dancing on the tip of her fingers.

 **(Takeru)**  
Did you really just think I was someone else,  
and did you really just say that I'm a stalker, believing that you were telling someone else?

Anyone hearing in on this might get the wrong idea about me, which might've been Cookie's preliminary motive.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Nope. What're you talking about?

Again with her genuine expressions, even after she'd been caught in the act.

 **(Takeru)**  
Don't be coy, you totally did!

 **(Kukiko)**  
Sue me in court martial.

Kukiko— _err_ , Cookie, huffs and pouts as she crosses both her arms.

 **(Kukiko)**  
It's your word against yours.

 **(Takeru)**  
I'd be testifying against myself—?!

 _Blah,_ I'd be wasting my breath correcting her on several counts.

 **(Takeru)  
** You called me a pervert, on top of that.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Nope.

 **(Takeru)**  
A criminal.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Nope.

 **(Takeru)**  
And you said you had a boyfriend? An idiot of a boyfriend, if I recall your exact words.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Oh, I was talking about _you_.

 **(Takeru)  
**. . . **  
**I'm no boyfriend of yours.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Really? But.  
You're a boy, and you're my friend.  
Boy–friend, yeah?  
Or am I using the wrong term?

She's tapping her lips with her finger.

Does she seriously have to ponder this?

I'm making no progress with her.

 **(Kukiko)**  
I'm kidding, silly!  
 _Geez_ —can't you take a joke?

 **(Takeru)  
** That's a rel—

 **(Kukiko)  
** I was talking about my brother, of course!

 **(Takeru)**  
—ief...

It's not.

It's the exact opposite of relief.

That's even more unsettling...  
Unsettling enough that I can't think of a befitting rejoinder.

Though I'd rather not indulge her with one.

It was so obviously off that I'm convinced she's probably baiting me once more.  
Then again—you're not supposed to find 'convinced' in the same sentence as 'probably'.

Like a nagging younger sister, Cookie really is...

And I won't openly admit that these spontaneous developments are a pleasant break to my otherwise monotonous life...

Nevertheless...

 **(Takeru)**  
While we're on the subject.

At any rate, I steer us back on course.

 **(Takeru)**  
Where _is_ your brother? And Takahashi?  
I thought they'd be here with you—?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Hold it.

Again, without warning (I'm learning that there are no warnings when it comes to her), she approaches me until our bodies are practically touching, only to—

Breathe up my neck?

 **(Takeru)**  
Oi oi oi! What in the world do you think you're doing, Cookie?!

 _'Have you no concept of personal space?!',_ my words fall on deaf ears.

 **(Kukiko)**  
I said hold it, you!  
And stop squirming!  
How am I supposed to properly sniff your nape if you keep putting up a fuss!

The way she has ducked her head to 'sniff my nape', my nose is just about touching her hair.

Actually—scratch 'just about'.

My nose is undeniably up to her hair and even brushing against her hairband, forcing me to take in a concentrated dose of her vanilla fragrance.

I'm in unsafe territory... in more ways than just the most obvious one...

. . .

. . .

. . .

After a few more (ostensibly long) minutes, she finally lets me loose.

I straighten out the collar of my shirt, the fabric now stretched due to the tenacious yanking of a tenacious individual.

 **(Takeru)**  
You better have a good reason for doing that.

My voice was meant to sound serious, but it came out jittery instead.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Just checking on something~.  
Kasumi-chan's scent is all over you, you know.  
And sensei's as well.

 _Haa?_

She can smell all that? And she can identify people based on their scents?

What is she, a mutt?

 **(Takeru)**  
Did you just say 'sens—

 **(Kukiko)**  
And I see you brought along a guest, Takeru-chan~.

 **(Takeru)**  
A guest? What are you talking about?

Should I be waiting for the punchline?

I seriously can't keep up with her line of conversation.

She's all over the damn place.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Ah_ —never mind then.  
Forget I even mentioned.  
 _Ahaha~._

Why does she have to speak with loud volume? It's like she's deliberately entertaining any eavesdroppers, even when it's pretty much just the two of us around.

Right—she has yet to explain the whereabouts of Takahashi and Ryuu.

And Kukiko is scratching the back of her head, cheeks puffed, with her free hand on her waist, as though she had really made an honest mistake.

At once, I turn my eyes away.

She looked dangerously cute in that pose—or just plain dangerous, for that matter.

 **(Kukiko)**  
You were saying something about me being cute, Takeru-chan?

* * *

 **Kukiko**

* * *

 _Huh._

So he hasn't been aware of his pursuer.

 **(Takeru)**  
What're you doing? Hey, where are we going?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Just over here, silly.

He's full of objections.

I had simply shifted our positions so that we're on the lower incline of the sakura tree.

From this angle, with the trunk obstructing the uphill view, Takeru shouldn't be able to notice _her_.

 **(Kukiko)**  
A boy and a girl, meeting alone in the dark after after-hours.  
 _Oooo_ , I wonder what rumours would come of this.

 **(Takeru)**  
You! Keep your voice down, will you!

I laugh a suspect laugh while swatting his hands from attempting to cover my mouth.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Help! He's trying to grope me!  
Somebody, please save me!

 **(Takeru)**  
Cookie!

Priceless.

Even underneath this moonlit sky, Takeru's reactions are too priceless.

If he wouldn't react in the ways he did, I'd never enjoy being a tease like this!  
And I don't feel bad at all for tantalizing him without mercy!

This is what you get for forcing yourself on me outside the PX!

Tough luck, Takeru! You're getting the tough love treatment from Kukiko!

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Tonikaku_ —

 _'Anyhow—'_

He needs some breathing room, for now.

 **(Kukiko)**  
I'm glad you showed up,  
I was beginning to feel lonely.

I admit with a smile.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Aniki and Ryuu have their hands tied with your XM3.  
I didn't expect them to be gone for so long, though.  
In a sense, this is your own fault, Takeru-chan.  
So you better own up to your responsibility, alright?

 **(Takeru)**  
Even so—I have half a mind to leave right now if you don't stop messing around.

But—that's the best part!

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Hmph._ Have it your way.  
I'll just take the other half of your mind, then.  
The other half could leave if it wants to.  
I declare the half that stays to be the better half!

 **(Takeru)  
**. . . **  
**You have a comeback for everything, don't you?

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Heh~._

I almost winked, before realizing that it might be too dim for him to catch it anyway.

Oh.

Before anything else, and before I forget—  
I must come clean.

I hadn't planned for it to be just the two of us.

Honest!

I haven't stopped by the simulator room, but I bet you that's where Aniki and my brother still are.

They say I'm the persistent one, but I pale in comparison to those two.

Well—Aniki is, I know for a fact.  
And my brother? _Hmm_. I've a feeling he's just there for kicks at this point.

I wouldn't be surprised if they pull an all-nighter just because!

 **(Takeru)**  
Hey, Cookie.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Yeah?

Takeru-chan makes himself comfortable, seated beside the cherry blossom tree.

He had only done so after taking something out of his pocket and pouring its contents unto the roots. (Oh—that was a container of water).

 _'So he does listen,'_ to myself, I muse.

This really is my favourite tree, by the way, so that gesture of his means a lot to me.

 **(Takeru)**  
Whatever you have to say, say it before the night is over.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Ara?_

I throw him another questioning look, even tilting my head to appear more persuasive.

 **(Takeru)**  
This will be the last time we see each other...

 _Hooh_ —is that how it is?

At least look me in the eye when you stammer a sentence with that much depth, you know?

 **(Kukiko)**  
If you say so, Takeru-chan~.

 **(Takeru)**  
You took that more lightly than I'd expected.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Is that so? What were you expecting from me, exactly?

 **(Takeru)**  
I don't know?  
Maybe a _'Go to hell, Takeru-chan'_ ,  
or even a _'Go kill yourself, Takeru-chan'_.

My shoulders jolt to straighten my posture and I flippantly place a palm over my mouth, pretending to be in awe of what he had guessed.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Whoa!_ It's like you could read my mind!

What is he, a wizard?!

I'm enthralled!

Those were the second and third responses in my reserve!

 **(Takeru)**  
 _Urgh._

 **(Kukiko)**  
But—

 _'But, in all seriousness,'_ I defend my initial response.

 **(Kukiko)**  
If my leaving you alone is what you really want,  
I'll swallow my greed and back the hell down.

In the end, when it comes down to it, even I am not so selfish to deny what makes others happy.

Happiness—that's my secret to Life, you know? (And cookies too!)

So, honestly, if Takeru would be happy were I to stop pampering him, then (at the expense of my own happiness), I have no choice but to oblige.

I'd somewhat expected Takeru to say something along those lines anyhow, as much as it upsets me. It's too bad though, after all the effort I've invested into this budding relationship of ours.

 **(Takeru)**  
You should really watch your language, Cookie.  
You're a girl, you know?  
It's unattractive, not to mention off-putting.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Urusai_...

 _'Hmph,'_ shrugs my cold shoulder.

 **(Kukiko)**  
I'll do whatever the hell I want.

Good grief _..._

He's taking everything from me and giving back nothing.

You're finally revealing your true colours, you greedy, greedy bastard...

But that's what I'm here for anyway—to unravel his true colours.

Are you watching all this, Mitsurugi?  
I guess you can't exactly see us, so I should really be asking _'Are you hearing all this.'_

Beside me, an audible sigh comes from Takeru.

 **(Takeru)**  
Do you really sleep out here every night, Cookie?

Moving along—

 **(Kukiko)**  
We said so yesterday, didn't we.

It's my turn to sigh.

I sound a bit more irritated, though I don't fully understand why. I'm letting what he had said earlier get under my skin... And it's bothering me more than I thought it would...

It's throwing me out of character...

 _Tsk..._

This—I can't allow.

 **(Kukiko)**  
What about you, Takeru-chan?  
You can't sleep in the barracks either, huh?

I have to be in control, or else—or else I wouldn't be myself anymore, you know?

 **(Takeru)**  
I guess you could say that.

 **(Kukiko)**  
It's the beds, isn't it?

 **(Takeru)**  
The beds? What do the beds have to do with not being able to sleep?

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Hmmm_ —how to put this...  
They're too soft, methinks.

 _'They make you feel like you're sinking,'_ I explain.

Somewhere along our conversation, I had picked up a twig and started snapping it in different places.

 **(Takeru)**  
What do you mean they're too soft?  
They're rather stiff, if you ask me.

 **(Kukiko)**  
. . . O–o–oh.

Oh.

The only beds Ryuu and I could ever remember have been the rocky grounds of our hometown.

So from our experience, the mattresses in the dorms really are soft in comparison.

That is why we don't mind sleeping out here at nightfall.  
And when it gets too cold, we could always bring a blanket if we so choose, although Ryuu's scarf serves the same purpose most of the time.

 **(Kukiko)**  
You must've had a good life before coming here, eh, Takeru-chan?

 **(Takeru)**  
Wh—?  
Wh–what makes you say that?

 _Eh?_

I might've struck a chord, judging by that reaction.

And here I thought that was an obvious deduction to make?

If he thinks the cots in the dorms are too stiff, he'd had to have been familiar with the comfort of a real bed, no?

 **(Takeru)**  
N–n–no...  
It's that... I get nightmares too... up there...  
It keeps me up at night, as it does for you...

I can feel Takeru's stare on the twig I've been snapping in my fingers.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Yeah?  
What kinds of nightmares?

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I can't tell you what...

The aura is kind of heavy, for some reason.

 _Arrrrgh!_ I'm totally out of my comfort zone!

And I came here feeling in such a good mood, too!  
I wasn't prepared to be under attack like this!

Maybe I should call Mitsurugi over for assistance?

Speaking of—why _is_ she here in the first place?

I've been speaking in a louder voice so that she might overhear us, but—what _are_ her intentions, anyhow?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Do the nightmares have something to do with the gun you're hiding?

 **(Takeru)**  
Gun? What gun?

Don't play dumb with me!

You're such a terrible actor, Takeru-chan!

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _This_ gun—

 _'Stop squirming, you! How am I supposed to take your shirt off if you keep squirming!'_

 _Hm_ —a wave of déjà vu just hit me.

After some time and an equal measure of opposition, I do succeed in unholstering the pistol Takeru had been concealing at the rear of his waistline.

You can rest easy, Mitsurugi.

I gave him back his shirt.

Or should I have kept it off a bit longer for you to gaze?

 **(Takeru)**  
You—how'd you know?

How could I _not_ know? The bulge just above your ass was begging for my attention!

Okay—he did do a superb job at hiding it, so maybe it wasn't _that_ conspicuous, but it was conspicuous enough for _me_ , alright?

Playing with the pistol in my hand (Takeru is busy putting his shirt back on—yes, I had planned for it to turn out this way), I gather that the gun is loaded, and—

Hey, isn't this sensei's personal pistol?

How did Takeru-chan get his hands on this?

 **(Takeru)**  
Be careful handling that—

Takeru snatches it back without any resistance on my part.

I was done studying it anyway.

 **(Kukiko)**  
So? Are your nightmares connected somehow?

 _'To that gun, I mean.'_

 **(Takeru)**  
I... I still can't say...

 **(Kukiko)**  
Is that because you can't?

 _'Because you don't want to, or because you aren't allowed to?'_

I wish he were more specific.

 **(Takeru)**  
Just... Just because...

Wishful thinking, once again.

Specificity is too much to ask for, evidently.

 **(Takeru)**  
You're asking too many questions.  
All you need to know is that I have this gun for the same reason you have your knife.

Wai—why's he bringing that up?!

 **(Kukiko)**  
A knife? What knife?  
Are you saying there's a psycho in our midst walking around with a knife?!

 _'He must be detained immediately!',_ I exclaim, as though to agree with him, meanwhile fidgeting with my hairband.

Besides—he has no inkling as to why I carry this on me.  
Nor could he even begin to fathom.

So I'd rather we don't broach the subject.

 **(Takeru)**  
 _'He'_? Kukiko!  
You know what I'm talking about!  
You nearly stabbed me earlier!

 **(Kukiko)**  
Ohhh. Thaaat knife.

 _'I think I remember now?'_

 **(Takeru)**  
Uh-huh. _That_ knife.

But if we're comparing weapons—

 **(Kukiko)**  
Still, a knife isn't as dangerous as a gun, now is it?

 _'I only carry this to defend myself anyhow,'_ so I argue.

 **(Takeru)**  
As do I, though I'm carrying this to protect everyone else from _me_.  
This gun—is only meant to be pointed at _me_.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Ara?_

He has me sincerely bewildered, throwing me out of character more than ever.

Suicide?

Did I really just hear him describe the act of self-murder?

After all that I had preached to him last night, as to the sanctity of Life?

Takeru... you have more issues than I'd initially thought!  
His act will be tougher to crack than I'd initially thought!

Although—as long as his brain stays intact, Motoko-sensei could still help me dissect it, I suppose?

No, not right now, Kukiko—that's not the pressing issue!

I can't just let this slip by me!

Taking matters into my own hands—

I reach for the gun.

But he's prepared this time.  
He expertly evades my reach.

So, I drop the dry twig and draw my blade, looming it over his head.

Desperate times call for homicidal measures!

 **(Kukiko)**  
Hand that over, _Takeru_ —

Seethes my stormy eyes.

I don't know...

I sort of figured he was broken, but not to _this_ extent.

This isn't a joke anymore, alright?

 _'To protect everyone else from me,'_ Takeru insisted.  
 _'This gun is only meant to be pointed at me.'_

But who's supposed to protect him from himself?!

Suicide—is too tragic, you know?  
To push a man to a corner that far—I don't even want to think about the waste of a precious Life!

I have to take that from him at all cost!

I have to—save him, from his own self!

 **(Takeru)**  
Get off me, Cookie.  
GET OFF—

His voice is raised, making me hesitate in a mild state of shock.

 **(Takeru)**  
You don't understand...  
You _can't_ understand...  
Just—back the hell off!

 _Arghh!_

He shoved me—like, _really_ shoved me, and I would've dropped on my back had I not exposed my palms to break my fall. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt, however.

I'm—stunned...

This isn't similar to our run-in just outside the PX.

It lasted only for a split second, but I sensed an authentic hostility in his eyes.  
I definitely felt it then, although it has since disappeared.

Whatever chord I had struck must've played the worst possible tune.

Still in my daze, I pull myself off the ground and afterward clap my palms to rid the dirt and grime.

Takeru flinched, as though he intended to help me up only to think twice and retreat in the same breath.

I'm... I'm in awe.

As much as I can't stand to speak the truth of it—I'm honestly impressed, Takeru.

 **(Takeru)  
** Impressed? At what?

 **(Kukiko)  
** At your insistence on defending this Act of yours.

 _'That no matter what, you appear determined to put up with this charade.'_

 _'You're a real piece of work,'_ at least to the extent a fraud can resemble the real piece of work.

I can't believe the girls of your squad have fallen for someone as insufferable as you.

And almost as an insult to them—you haven't even noticed.

Humanity weeps for their unrequited affections.  
Well, I do, anyhow—

 **(Takeru)  
** Don't you dare go there, Cookie.

 _Ah?_ Did I say that out loud?

 **(Takeru)  
** I'm not oblivious.  
 _I damn-well know, much better than you do, how they feel._

I'm... shaking... all over...

 **(Kukiko)**  
Bull—shit!

I was at your table! I've seen how you treat them!

You're as ignorant and oblivious as it can get!

 **(Kukiko)  
** And even if that were the case!  
How can you _act_ like you know nothing, knowing that you do not know nothing?

 _Kyuhhh!_

In my frenzy, I spat out a sentence that makes no sense!

 _'Knowing that you do know something,'_ would've been more sound (actually, I don't think it would've).

Even so—  
Logic has long gone out the window; who cares about syntax at this point!

I've never been derailed by anyone more so than Shirogane Takeru!

 **(Takeru)  
** You won't get it, Cookie!  
Would you rather I _act_ like it doesn't fucking hurt?  
Like smiling at them doesn't fucking break a part of me?  
Like _seeing their smiles_ doesn't shred me like you couldn't even imagine?  
You know absolutely fucking nothing, Cookie!  
Stop pretending you see through me, because the truth is that you don't _see_ me at all!

 **(Kukiko)  
** I...

I... can't come up with a proper rebuttal.

He claims that he's been acting to the contrary?  
That he's been pushing us away because it wounds him otherwise?

 **(Kukiko)  
** But—why?

I'm not oblivious either, by the way.

It might even be safe to assume that I could sympathize better than most.

I understand that you aren't able to simply act like you're happy when you aren't.  
I understand that you can't simply expect one who's sad to stop being sad 'just because'.

That'd be like demanding an answer to a problem without providing the solution, right, sensei?

But, once again.

Why?

Why does it hurt Takeru to see that those who love him are happy around him?

 **(Takeru)**  
Because!

 _'Because,'_ he goes on, and in the meantime, I secretly pray that he lowers that gun he's waving in the dark.

 **(Takeru)  
** What they have...  
The feelings _they think they have_...  
 ** _'Are not their own.'_**

I don't get it...

He was right...

I really don't get it...

Again, I am left stunned, uncertain of what to make of this strife that has him on edge.

I wonder what's going through Mitsurugi's mind upon hearing all this.  
Is this something she would understand, when I couldn't?

 **(Takeru)  
** So stay out of it—this is none of your business!

 **(Kukiko)  
** You made it my business the moment you showed me your face!

 **(Takeru)  
** You'd never—

His head shakes, almost as if something is tearing him up from the inside out.

 **(Takeru)  
** _Never_ —understand.

 **(Kukiko)**  
How can I if you keep pushing me away?!

 _'I'm trying, you know.  
I'm trying my hardest to understand you!'_

I don't know what has gotten into me...  
Straight out of a shitty melodrama—his melancholy is giving rise to my fiery passions, for reasons I can't make out...

This is very unlike me...

Might it be because melancholy is contagious?

But I've never heard of such a thing, sensei!

It's nowhere near the same as curiosity!

And before you get any ideas, I really am trying—I really am.

In the only way I know how...  
I'm really trying to understand Takeru.

 _However..._

 _I guess it's pointless trying to understand someone who has closed off his heart..._

 _. . ._

 _Arrrrghhhhh..._

Me—Fukui Kukiko.  
Rejected by a Shirogane Takeru, of all people.

How—downright humiliating...

This conversation has gone south, way beyond my control.

 **(Takeru)  
** Cookie.

He looks like he has calmed down a little, whereas I have yet to.

 **(Takeru)  
** I didn't mean to yell, but more importantly.  
Seriously—my squad's state of affairs is not your worry to bear.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Hmph..._

I try to slap him, but he catches my wrist midway.

So out of reflex, I instead kick him hard in the shin (but not as hard as I really wanted to, as he doesn't even twitch).

He does, however, stoop to massage the injury, letting go of my wrist.

 **(Takeru)  
** And about this gun—

Shit—I had almost forgotten about the weapon of humanity's extinction.

 _Errr_ , weapon of Takeru's self-extinction?

 **(Takeru)**  
This gun made you cross, didn't it?

Before I shifted the dialogue to his squadmate's blatant affections, his talk of suicide indeed had me upset, but I'd decided to put an end to it then.

(Although at this stage, he is very welcome to fulfill his own murder, for all I care).

Why is he bringing it back up?

 **(Kukiko)  
** And what if it had?  
Whose fault was that?

 _'Read the mood... you heartless impostor...'_

 **(Takeru)  
** Stop sulking... I just realized what I said way back,  
and I just realized that I might've phrased it wrongly—

Come to think of it, the pistol is out of sight. He must've returned it to its un-rightful place.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I'm not sulking...

I've since turned my back to him and seated myself at an even lower spot of the slope, while Takeru is still on his feet (no longer kneading his shin), standing and leaning on the trunk of my favourite sakura tree.

 **(Takeru)  
** It's not... suicide...  
I didn't make that part clear...  
That's what had you upset, right?  
It's—complicated...  
I wish I could explain everything, but you'd never understand...

 **(Kukiko)  
** Do you take me for an idiot?  
 _You keep saying I'd never understand._

I scowl at him.

He ought to be stabbed in the gut for thinking me stupid.

 **(Takeru)  
** No—no.  
This isn't a simple case of being smart or not.  
You wouldn't believe a word of what I have to say—  
 _Huh? Whoa whoa!_

I had thrown him my knife, which he miraculously caught with his hands (after fumbling a bit, of course).

I slightly regret that it didn't nick him at the least.

 **(Takeru)  
** What'd you do that for?  
Are you trying to kill me with this throwing knife!

. . .

It's not a throwing knife.

 **(Takeru)  
** Throwing knife or not!  
A knife is a knife!  
Sharp and treacherous!

 **(Kukiko)  
** You have the gun, and now, my knife.

 _'I have nothing left to defend myself.'_

 **(Takeru)  
** _Huh?_ What for...?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Because! **  
** _I want to—understand..._

The latter comes out muffled, because I had hugged my knees even closer.

Not because it was cold or chilly or anything like that.

Rather, because—it made me feel safer?

I had given him my last line of defense, after all.  
I feel naked, without actually being naked at all.

This isn't like me... not at all...

It doesn't help that Takeru isn't saying anything, and the longer the silence goes, the more awkward the atmosphere grows.

 **(Takeru)  
** Why... Cookie?

Finally, he breaks the silence after twisting and turning the blade I had passed him.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Ara?_

 **(Takeru)**  
Why're you going through great lengths for me?

 _Urkh!_

What an offhanded remark to make!

If you weren't such a mystery, I would never have laid eyes on you in the first place!

And is it really that surprising that I'm showing no signs of quitting?  
That's just how I am—no more, no less!

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Hmph._

I cock my head to the side while keeping my eyes closed.

 **(Kukiko)  
** You're not special or anything—  
Don't let it get to your head.

I'm here because I'd been convinced that I could crack your Act.

Except that... I've learned that I came unprepared.  
Utterly unprepared for the behemoth of an Act that was impossible to foresee, even to my all-seeing eyes.

I feel like I had infiltrated a hive with nothing but my pocket knife...  
Even worse now that my pocket knife is forfeit...

 **(Kukiko)  
** They say misery loves company.  
Maybe I'm drawn to you since I can smell your misery?

 _Tonikaku—  
_ I still have to give him some semblance of an answer, lest he presses the embarrassing question further.

 **(Takeru)  
** You can smell such a thing?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Naturally.  
Your stench is especially repugnant.

 _'Or is that perhaps just your body odour?'_ I (weakly) jab.

 **(Takeru)  
** But...

 **(Kukiko)  
** But what?

He's obviously uncomfortable talking about all this.  
Although, I reckon uncomfortable topics beget uncomfortable parties as a matter of causality.

I wonder why?

I wonder... why?

I should probably swing the subject, or else he might outright break.

I want him to crack, not break.

But I'm running out of time, so if I have to break him, I should no longer hesitate.  
Because when time runs out, I'm afraid I might break before he does...

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

I can't get a clear read on her at all.

I'd believed she was ruthless, because that's what I was told.

I'd then believed that her sneers have been cocky and uninviting; her aplomb—cold as snow, uncaring.

I now believe... that I have gravely misjudged her...

Perhaps because I relied on the impression of others, perhaps because I'd been blinded by my state of gloom and distrust.

'Sneers' had been smiles all this time, and 'cocky' had been passion.

It makes more sense, now that I consider it.

To one who is down, doesn't everything positive appear to be negative?  
And in the same thread—don't those who are up tend to look for the light even in the blackest of nights?

Goes to show how vastly the world changes when looked at from different points of view.  
That—as well as the lasting influence of first impressions.

And my point of view had been skewed by my fractured frame of mind.

I'd make an unreliable narrator if my life were written into a story.

. . .

It feels—special, talking to her like this.  
It really does.

But—as special as it is.

In my heart of hearts, I wish we had met under different circumstances, Fukui Kukiko...

I can't help but be harried by the thought that our encounters will only make it more painful when _that day_ arrives.

I told her tonight will be the last time we see each other, though at the pace this conversation is going, we might part on hostile terms.

Granted, as it stands—maybe that would be the best outcome I could hope for?

So that when _it_ comes to pass, I wouldn't be affected as much by the loss?

Why am I ending all my thoughts in a question mark?

 _Nghh._

Setting aside her disturbingly-accurate observations of those who had loved and been loved by the Shirogane Takerus of once upon a times (how did she notice, by the way? What can you really _see_ , Cookie?)—

This gun.

The gun I not so much _stole_ , more so _haven't returned_ , of Yuuko-sensei.

How am I supposed to persuade Cookie that this gun will only be used on _me,_ and no one else?

That when worse comes to worst, this gun is my ticket to reset?

She wouldn't understand any of that, would she?

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Nee_ , Takeru-chan.

She's... quite resilient...

After everything I had thrown at her, she's still fighting back.

 **(Takeru)  
** —Wait, Cookie...

 _'Wait,'_ I interrupt her, _'before you change the subject.'_

I need to provide her _some_ truth.

I owe her as much, for acting this remote and distant...

 **(Takeru)  
** I—I'm not one for suicide.  
This much, I can swear to you.

This much—I can confess to the girl who is so keen on Life.

If I'd only expressed it clearly enough during my first try, she wouldn't have needed to work up a fit of fervor and even involve those whom I love...

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Haa—?_

To my relief (and also my dismay), she pivots the top half of her crouched silhouette to look at me fully as she had before. Her hands are leaning on the gravel, and in her eyes, surprise.

It would've been so much easier if she were to slap me silly or laugh at me in disbelief as she has done several times the last few days.

Cookie takes everything I say with such pure innocence at every turn that I feel like I can tell her _anything_ and _everything_ —which, however, would be a dangerous route to take.

 **(Takeru)  
** The details are... complex... and long-winded.  
But should I ever run into a situation that stretches beyond my grasp,  
This gun—this pistol, _allows me to go back_.

Vague choice of words; I chose them on purpose.

 **(Takeru)  
** I would never take my own life, not... _not without reason..._

The tail end of my sentence trails off.

I don't think she even heard that part.

 **(Takeru)  
** In fact, if that situation were to ever arise.

 _'I don't think I'd be able to pull the trigger.'_

And that's—my humble truth.

I can never point a gun at my fellow humans, and that includes me, a human being... _Or at least I'd like to believe I am._

Therefore, I don't think I can point the gun to my self, should worse come to worst.

Cookie, who's been silently listening to my short soliloquy, stands up and lunges herself at me, like how a sprinter lunges forth at the gun-shot signaling the start of the race.

Her palm is outstretched.

What does she expect me to do, shake her hand?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Hand me the gun, Takeru-chan.

Her voice has lowered a register, opposing the casual familiarity of her words.

 **(Takeru)  
** Haven't you been listening?  
I need this. This is my way back—

 **(Kukiko)  
** I have been, _bakamono_...

There's her characteristic coarse speech, though the same can't be said of her body language.

She has averted her eyes to the side, and I can even hear a touch of nervousness in her voice.

I need to point out that she appears very feminine in that posture, uncharacteristically enough.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I'll do it... for you...

 **(Takeru)  
** You'll what?

 **(Kukiko)  
** I'll do it.  
I'll pull the trigger for you.

. . .

The moment had been incredibly mismatched that the only sounds my tied-up tongue could make through my gaping mouth are those of a few grunts.

For there stands Cookie, looking all abashed (I daresay she might be blushing, even) with her palm laid flat before me—casually saying that she'd _'pull the trigger'_ as if I were an outright fool for not catching her drift right away.

 **(Kukiko)  
** You said you couldn't do it, didn't you.  
Well... if that's true, I can help...

 _'I'll help you with your suicide,'_ she offers.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I submit that I couldn't understand you, Takeru-chan.  
And I still haven't the slightest clue as to what you're so desperate to hide.  
Is it a military secret? Personal? Interpersonal? Foreign? Alien?  
 _Tut tut tut_ —wait your turn to speak.  
So for now, I'm content in knowing _that you aren't lying to me_.

I hold myself back from pointing out that just because I haven't lied doesn't mean I've told her the truth.

I'll leave her nuance at that...

 **(Kukiko)  
** You're putting up a tough front, but I wouldn't let my guard down if I were you.  
Just because you've given me nothing tonight doesn't mean you wouldn't spill by tomorrow.

 _Damn_ , she copied the sentence structure right out of my thoughts.

But—was she not listening? There is no _tomorrow_ for you and me, Cookie.

 **(Kukiko)  
** So the least I could do—is pull the trigger for you.

Honestly.

Cookie has destroyed the image I had of a touching scenery.

Mind you, it really is touching, what she's trying to do on my behalf, as abnormal as her offer is.

I feel like shit. For making her act out of character like this—like I had broken the ballerina figurine of a music box.

Or has that been another one of my grave misconceptions of her?

In her own way, I guess she's trying to do me a favour?

It hasn't occurred to me until now that, due to the conditions she grew up in, her concept of showing affection might perhaps be different from what I'm accustomed to.

What I find abnormal, she might find normal.  
What I find comfortable, she might find uncomfortable.

And on and on.

Untrue to her name, and in her own way, Kukiko isn't as cold as snow as I'd thought she was.

In any case, Cookie did surrender her dagger to me.

Shouldn't it be fair that I trust her with pulling the trigger?

Although—could I trust her to?  
How do I know that she wouldn't just shoot me right here and now as soon as I surrender the pistol?

Yeah—despite all that has been said between us, I still don't know what her motives are.

 **(Kukiko)  
** You're such a jerk, Takeru-chan!  
I'm all out of defenses and you still can't trust me?!  
What else should I give up, my virginity?!

 **(Takeru)  
** _Hnghh?!_

What the—?

Is she intruding my thoughts?!

 **(Kukiko)  
** I don't have to!  
It's spray-painted all over your ugly face!

 **(Takeru)  
** Shut up! And could you not be so crass!

I shut her up with words and with deed.

 **(Takeru)  
** Don't make me regret this...

I... I entrusted to her the gun...  
When I did, she withdrew it into the makeshift holster on her waist.

And the look on her face was similar to what one wears when—a light bulb clicks in their head?

Is this the part where I immediately regret handing her my trust?

 **(Kukiko)  
** I've figured you out, Takeru-chan.

 **(Takeru)  
** You what?

Cookie has started skipping away from me, to a lower level of the hill.

Farther down she goes, though it looks like she's mentally measuring her distance as she does.

I motion to follow her, but think better of it.

I have no idea what she has in mind, not that it would make a difference if I had, seeing that she comes with no warning labels attached.

 **(Kukiko)  
** There, that should be enough.

 **(Takeru)  
** Hey! Are you off to somewhere?

As you would expect, now that she has built up some space between us, we have to raise our voices to hear one another.

She, in particular, has to speak louder than I do, as she is showing me her back. That is to say, the direction of her voice is away from me.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Do you know what the problem with actors is, Takeru-chan?

Actors? She mentions that—I mean, she's been mentioning that about me ever since we met.

Has she been incessantly harassing me for a reason this dreary?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Especially when the Act contradicts the actor?

Cookie is standing upright and looking up at the night, with her hair, dark as darkness itself, flowing along the tender breeze.

I don't really know what she's aiming for with her train of thought just yet.

So I wait.

 **(Kukiko)  
** They stick out like a sore thumb—

And wait.

And—

 _Wait._

Kukiko! What the hell are you up to?

 **(Kukiko)  
** And they become so consumed by their own Act that they forget.  
They forget to look around them, and they forget who they really are—

 _Fuck!_

 **(Kukiko)  
** But that's how you weed out the bad actors, Takeru-chan—

 _Fuck!_

 **(Kukiko)  
** Because no matter how impregnable the Act, there is no such thing as an impregnable actor—

 _Fuck!_

 **(Kukiko)  
** And all it takes to crack the actor is, a moment to remember—

 _*pant*pant*wheeze*_

 **(Kukiko)  
** To bring him back to a time when he wasn't an actor—

Will I make it in time?!

No—

I _will_ make it in time!

Using every last ounce of strength, I dive forward at the final stretch with my arms extended, reaching for the figure of the reckless girl who (without warning) fell backward.

She was falling backward and would've landed on the rough pavement if it wasn't for me.

I made it in time...

A throbbing chest and four throbbing limbs later (not to mention a heart furiously racing), Cookie laid supine on my forearms without so much as a scratch on her. The scratches on me are a different story.

On my right forearm rests her back with her hair stuck in the middle; on my left, the back of her head is cradled.

 **(Kukiko)**  
And the whole Act comes crumbling thereafter.

A devious smile forms on her lips.

Oh, that's not the actual case.

Remove the devious adjective.

 **(Takeru)  
** You are insane... Cookie...

 _'You could've been seriously injured,'_ I scold her, though only half-heartedly.

 **(Kukiko)  
** But I wasn't, was I?  
And it worked. It worked like I said.

 **(Takeru)  
** I didn't even get to hear a word of what you'd said...

I'd suffered a panic attack and thus wasn't able to make out her words.

How pitiful do I look, I wonder.

I'm lying on my stomach with my face looking straight, and directly ahead, my arms are still stretched and nestled under Cookie.

My chin is resting on the jagged earth.

Cookie herself hasn't made any attempt to get out of our positions.  
Likewise, I am too exhausted to bother moving.

Between the two of us, only Cookie's head has made a move so far.

She has turned it sideways, so that we're seeing eye-to-eye.

Her eyes have widened—

 **(Kukiko)  
** What?! That was a one-take shot, Takeru-chan!  
I said that off the top of my head!  
I can't even remember it anymore!

And hearing that, I—chuckle.

Without holding back.

I laugh.

Without reserve.

Without a care in the world.

I laugh.

I can't think of the last time I had this good of a laugh without cutting myself short for remembering my past futures and futures past.

It is funny because— _at_ this moment, and _for_ the moment, I've forgotten what I remember.

I forgot the woes of the past, and I forgot my worries for the future.

Lacking in that knowledge and that burden of responsibility, I'm able to savour the present, and in this unpredictable present, beside the unpredictable Cookie—well, the present is currently still in progress.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Uh-oh!_ I thought to crack you, but did I end up breaking you instead?!

Cookie started laughing along as she uttered something incomprehensible to me.

 **(Kukiko)  
** After all your tough guy act of pushing me away,  
you sure were quick to rush to my rescue, huh, Takeru-chan?

 **(Takeru)  
** You're cold as snow, you know that.  
Pushing me this far for your own entertainment.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I won't lie.  
I had fun watching you crack.  
And crack you did.  
Now, I _see_ the real you.

For all my talk and resolve.

If the moment of truth were placed directly in front of me.

I would crumble.

That's what Cookie is trying to say.

She's a cold girl.

But the body in my arms is... warm...

The next time I look up, Cookie has the pistol I lent drawn in her right hand. Both the pistol and hand are level to the ground, pointed at me.

 _'What's that for?'_

I figured I'd find out without asking.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Would this be one of those situations 'beyond your grasp'?

 **(Takeru)  
** It—would be...

Who knows what floodgates I've opened with the new developments that have transpired.

New developments that—make me feel alive...

 **(Kukiko)  
** So, do you need me to pull the trigger?

Honestly—does she not realize what she's saying?

She is, in the only way Cookie knows how, trying to reach me.

Who else but Cookie would offer to kill you so coolly?

 **(Takeru)  
** —No...

I'm not resetting, just because I met a cold girl like you...

 **(Kukiko)  
** Does it still hurt to laugh?

 **(Takeru)  
** It still does.

 **(Kukiko)  
** To smile?

 **(Takeru)  
** It does.

 **(Kukiko)  
** To see others smile?

 **(Takeru)  
** It does.  
However—

 **(Kukiko)  
** However.

 _'I feel alive,'_ I proclaim to her.

 **(Kukiko)  
** That's glad to hear, Takeru-chan.  
Well then—'twas a pleasure knowing you.

 **(Takeru)  
** What're you talking about?

 _'It was a pleasure knowing you'_ is what you say as a farewell.

 **(Kukiko)  
** My work with you is finished.  
Now that I've cracked you, you're no fun to be around.

Oh.

Right...

At the end of the day, I guess I was just a source of amusement for her.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Besides, you said tonight's our last night, right?

 **(Takeru)  
** R–right...

However...

But...

 **(Takeru)  
** I—  
I still haven't told you my story, have I?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Oh?

 **(Takeru)  
** You might find entertainment... in hearing my story...

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Ara?_ Are you offering to tell me your story?

 **(Takeru)  
** Not a chance in hell.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Ahaha~._

Her laugh is weaker.

Or she sounds tired, I should say.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Well, I do love a good story.  
It looks like I can't stop seeing you, then.

 _'Sucks to be you, Takeru-chan. I'll keep you around longer until the fun runs out.'_

 **(Kukiko)**  
And since you have no plans to share it with me,  
I'll have to run you ragged until you do.

 **(Takeru)  
**. . .  
If it can't be helped, I guess there's no helping it.

 _'There's no stopping you,'_ has a more gratifying sound to it now.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Besides, I still have your gun, and you have my dagger.  
So, we better watch our backs, in case one stabs the other, you know?

 **(Takeru)  
** You've already forgotten why I've entrusted that to you?

I'm too beat to follow through with my argument, so that was the end of that count.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Nee,_ what's your story, Takeru-chan?

 **(Takeru)  
** _Eh?_

An eyelid of mine twitches.

That was too quick, even by her standards!

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Kyuhh!_ I was pushing my luck—!

 **(Takeru)  
** Why, Cookie?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Why what, Takeru-chan?

 **(Takeru)  
** Why are you going through great lengths for my sake?

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Hmph_. I hate repeating myself.  
But just for you, Takeru-chan—

Just for me?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Misery loves company.  
And you're miserable, aren't you?  
Well so am I.  
But now that you've met me, at least we aren't alone in our misery.

 _'Aren't we lucky to be humans?'_

 _'How so?'_

 **(Kukiko)  
** No matter how overwhelming your misery turns out to be,  
you could divide it with others—and make it easier to carry.

That again. She said the exact same thing earlier.

Although this time, it hit home with me.  
I'd thought she was just spewing nonsense the first time.

She has said so many things that have utterly blown away my perception of her.

It's hard to tell whether she is aware of the wisdom in what she says.  
Aware or not—there's no denying the wisdom nonetheless.

After all, ever since I heard their story from Takahashi, whenever I'm around them, I really do forget about how fucked up my own life is.

That's what she's saying, right?

 _'Misery loves company,'_ huh.

Cookie just put it in words and gave this substance—she made a concept real enough to hold on to.

And not only that.

Cookie has done more for me than she might realize (or maybe she does?).

She helped me remember what it's like to feel alive...

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Pitter patter._

 **(Takeru)  
** _Pitter whatter?_

 **(Kukiko)  
** That's the sound your heart just made.

 **(Takeru)  
** That's not what a heartbeat sounds like.

 **(Kukiko)  
** It is when it skips a beat.

 **(Takeru)  
** Why would my heart skip a beat?  
For you? Don't make me laugh.

I'm serious. Don't make me laugh.  
I don't have the energy in me.

Cookie, on the other hand, has enough for a scoff.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Don't blame _me_!  
It's your heart that did, not mine.

This is hardly an appropriate set-up for a 'Don't shoot the messenger' quip.

And don't speak on behalf of others, or else they might think your arrogance knows no bounds.

I say that, but knowing her, she probably _wants_ them to know about her boundless arrogance.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Either way, you better stop looking at me with those eyes, Takeru-chan.

 **(Takeru)  
** _Urghh_ —I haven't been staring at you.

And quit this line of talk, you're like a younger sister to me.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Honestly, stop staring.  
Someone watching us might end up killing me if you don't.

If someone were watching us?

Even if—

 **(Takeru)  
** Someone like whom?

 _'You're the only person I know who's insane enough to kill for a reason like that.'_

 **(Kukiko)  
** Oh I don't know—someone like Mitsurugi, perhaps.  
And I'm more afraid of what Aniki might do to me if something were to happen to Mitsurugi.  
In case it goes to trial, I would need you to testify that I only acted in self-defense.

Look, I know we're both exhausted.

But that must be your weakest jest yet, Cookie.

Meiya can't stand the sight of me.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Good grief.  
You're not as un-oblivious as you think you are.

 **(Takeru)  
** Like I said, Meiya can't stand the sight of me.  
And she'd never point her sword at someone.  
That's completely out of character for her.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Hoh?_ For someone older than me, you sure need a lot of growing up to do.

 **(Takeru)  
** I won't stand being told that by someone young enough to be my little sister.

I wearily sigh.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I'm saying that—it's, Love.

 **(Takeru)  
** Love?

Is she luring me again on the topic of another kind of Love?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Love, Takeru-chan, is such a toxic feeling, you know.  
 _'Out of character'? Hah!  
_ Love laughs in the face of characters with no regard to the ins or outs of it.  
'Out of character' doesn't exist within the confines of Love.  
If anything, all actions done in the name of Love give light to your _true_ character.

Love is—toxic?

Wasn't she all over it the other night?

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Tonikaku—_

 _'Anyhow—,'_ Cookie interrupts me before the weight of her words are able to fully sink in.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I'm sleepy, Takeru-chan.  
Mind if I sleep like this?

Without warning, and without waiting for my response, Cookie starts humming that same tune she had earlier.

As awkward as our positions are, I don't remember at what point I fell asleep, but the last thing I heard was the mellow hum of Fukui Kukiko's voice.

* * *

 **Meiya**

* * *

 _Mattaku..._

Takeru...

Do something.

 _Anything._

That would make me hate you...

Please...

Before I fall completely... to the feelings you claim are not mine own...


	23. Her Gambit

**Chapter 23 – Her Gambit**

* * *

 **Kei**

* * *

 ** _*Beep*beep* beep*_**

 _Huuu._

What an unpleasant way to wake up.

 _Uhmuu,_ and that's a mild way of putting it.  
As a whole, waking up is _such a chore_.

 _'Ghhh. Shut up already.'_

Cursing the inventor of that insufferable ringtone, my right hand swings down on the tabletop clock to silence its incessant whining, sending it and everything else into momentary flight as it rebounds from the impact.

Having fulfilled its purpose (and being the only muscle I have moved thus far), my arm goes limp and falls to the side of the mattress.

 _Hm_.

If someone were to walk in on me right now, it would look like I've been trying to wrap my arms around my bed, like in a hug. Even the universe must be trying to communicate our mutual love for slumber.

I ignore its message, however.

For the simple reason that I've decided to heed a far more important call, and the only call more important than the universe itself is—the grumbling of my stomach.

I would go so far as to say that it is the only call that gets me out of bed. Elsewise—I've honestly never been a morning person.

And as a woman in bloom, I _must_ cater the necessary nutrients to all the growing parts of my body. It's practically my sworn duty to eat breakfast, right?

 _Mm-hmm._

And, _nuh-uh_ —this is not an elaborately camouflaged expression of my devotion to food.  
I'm not circuitous, like that _tsundere_ princess of a squad leader.

So.

As much as I love sleep—I push myself off the bed and freshen up in short order.

While I used to pass myself off after just washing my face and brushing my hair (sometimes, teeth), nowadays, I find myself more conscious of my outward appearance.

Spending so much time with Shirogane (during breakfast, lunch, and supper in particular, where I get the chance to be even more up close) has a lot to do with it, I will not deny.

 _*sigh*_

I take a deep breath in just as I was about to open the door, leaving me staring blankly at the knob.

The last week had been a blur. Not in terms of how busy it was, but in the sense that—I, cherished it, for one reason or another.

In retrospect, it's not like anything exciting happened, either.

 _Mm-hmm_ —truth is, it was as typical a week as it's ever been.  
Lectures were had, exercises were taken, punishments were dished, and meals were eaten.

Ayamine Kei's ordinary everyday life...

And yet, here I stand, smiling softly to myself, looking back at that ordinary week...

What date is it again?

* * *

Anyway, I saunter to the PX to start the new day with two of my favourite things.

Imagine my surprise upon finding one of them in the process of being hijacked, right from the moment I entered the hall, the whole duration I stood in line, and even as I carried my tray to our table.

She has some nerve, I'll give her that.

Tray still in hand, I interrupt their chitchat to shoo the elephant from the room.

 **(Kei)  
** Outta my seat.

With cool composure, I instruct the girl who had claimed the chair beside Shirogane which, incidentally, has my name on it.

Alright—my name's not _on_ it, not per se.

But if I must write it down to prove my point, I wouldn't think twice to do the vandalizing deed.

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Ehhhh?_ Keiiiii-san!  
This has always been _my_ seat!

 **(Kei)  
**. . .

 **(? ? ?)  
** _You_ hijacked it while I've been away!

 **(Kei)  
** Why you—

 **(? ? ?)  
** No!

Sparks fly in the space between our glaring eyes (the hostile kind, not the romantic one), the rest of the crowd refusing to take part in the squabble.

Her backlash had caught me unawares, to be frank.  
There aren't too many things in the world that could rile up the basket case with short, soft blue hair.

I had expected her to laugh me off and pretend like she hadn't heard me, maybe comment on the number of stains on the ceiling.

A pout, _humph_ and _grrr_ were outside the bounds of possible reactions I had considered, while the raised, high pitched volume and rapidfire delivery—I'd never even expected were an option.

She sure picks the damnedest things to get worked up over.

Is that seat really worth fighting for, Ayamine Kei?

Of course it is.  
It's the seat beside Shirogane.

And furthermore, Ayamine Kei never, _never_ , retreats.

 **(Kei)  
**. . .

However, instead of continuing to lock horns with Yoroi, I decide to regroup (not retreat) and take my usual spot. It isn't that much farther from him anyway.

Besides, there is no satisfaction in defeating an enemy fresh out of the infirmary.

She showed up unannounced in the midst of last evening's supper.

According to her, she had been granted early discharge with light duties, a privilege that required a deluge of paperwork and signatures upon signatures.

Light duties, _huh_.

Understandable, at first glance, since I find it hard to believe that she had fully recovered from that sharp fall in a matter of days. I'd thought she would surely be out of commission for a week, at the very least.

Though admittedly, I didn't believe her at first and partly thought that she might've sneaked her way out without notifying the hospital staff.

For the rest of the evening, as we ate while Yoroi regaled us with epics of her bedridden adventures, I kept an eye out for any doctors and or nurses who would look like they were searching for a runaway patient.

None showed up... sadly...

Knowing Yoroi, it would not surprise me if it were her attending, in fact, who had worked diligently to get rid of Yoroi as soon as possible.

Yup—that has to be it.

And so, there is no point in doing battle with a wounded warrior, I ultimately decide as I seat myself and break bread with the rest of the squad (minus Tamase. She always wakes up latest and barely makes it in time for breakfast).

Not to mention that Yoroi has been very vocal about how she has to 'make up for lost time'.

With training, right? That would've been the logical conclusion.

But as reality would have it, logic wants nothing to do with Yoroi Mikoto _._

 _'Training? I'm on light duties, aren't you listening! I mean that I have to make up lost time with Takeru!'_

So goes her excuse for snuggling up to him so persistently, evidenced further by her refusal to give me back my seat.

 _Khhh..._

Another foe has entered the fray...  
As if there aren't enough already.

I'm not too worried, though.

Out of everyone here, I might have made the most progress.

Mitsurugi has all her guards up, and her over-cautiousness has made her a pushover for an adversary, while Tamase has been too subtle in her advances.

And the _tsundere_ princess has been playing hard to get.

 _'Heh,'_ I soundlessly laugh (without letting wind of it on my facial expression, obviously).

That novice.

Playing hard to get only works if Shirogane were trying to 'get' you in the first place. Should she continue to lie to herself, it would spell her downfall, and it would be a well-deserved fall, at that.

Her downfall will be my uprise.

Yoroi I've already disregarded.

Not only is she late to the race, but she is _severely_ lacking in a department I laughably excel at. The contest had already been decided before she even stepped in.

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Nee_ , Ayamine.  
You've been peeking an awful lot at Yoroi's breasts.

 **(Yoroi)  
** _Ehhhh?!_ _Heeeeeeh?!_  
Is that true, Kei-san?!  
Why would you do that? You know how sensitive I am down there!  
 _Huhu..._

 _Unhh—!_

Yoroi is covering up her non-existent bust with both hands.

Shaking off my head of any absurd ideas, I let loose my riposte.

 **(Kei)  
** Nonya.

Though I had meant to direct that at Yoroi, the other girl speaks in her stead.

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Nonya?_ _Eto_.  
Is that—Swedish?

 **(Kei)  
** Yes, it is  
It translates to 'Nonya business'.

 **(Yoroi)  
** _Ahaha~.  
_ I don't get it, but I just remembered this funny skit on a game show I watched the other day.

 **(Sakaki)  
** —Ayamine!

Now what?

I seem to be the target of conversation this morning. Had they agreed upon this behind my back?

How very troublesome.

 **(Kei)  
** _Hmm?_

 **(Sakaki)  
** Is–is it really alright if she calls you that way?!

 _Eh_ —why does she sound on edge?

 **(Kei)  
** What way?

 **(Sakaki)  
** _'What way'_?!  
 _'Ayamine'_ , she says!  
And without any honorifics, to boot!

 _Hmh._

Squad leader. Ever the grouch, I see.

 **(Kei)  
** Does it bother you?

 **(Sakaki)  
** Why—no, but...

 **(Kei)  
** Then it doesn't bother me.

I oppose her, as her penance for her dishonesty.

 **(Sakaki)  
** _N–n–nandeste?!  
_ You can't be bothered just to disagree with me?!

 _*sigh*_

It's too early in the morn for banter like this. I haven't even touched my meal yet.

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Jeez_ —would you just kiss and make up already.  
It's painful watching you two tango.

 **(Sakaki)  
** _You_ —Fukui, don't stick your nose in.  
This is between just Ayamine and me—

 **(Shirogane)  
** Kei, would you please pass the salt.

A hush falls over the table as I nonchalantly tend to Shirogane's request, as though nothing abnormal had occurred. That's because nothing abnormal had occurred.

 **(Kei)  
** Here, Takeru.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Thanks.

Even the indifferent Mitsurugi had nearly choked on her food and is now busying herself with a glass of water.

 **(Yoroi)  
** KEI?!  
SHIROGANE, DID YOU JUST ADDRESS HER BY HER FIRST NAME?!

The same tongue lashing I received from her earlier is now being used against Shirogane, upped a few hundred levels in decibels and velocity.

 **(Sakaki)  
** And Ayamine!  
Did you just address Shirogane by his first name?!

 _Heh._

When I'd mentioned that I have made the most progress, I wasn't being glib.

Although, while I would've liked to save it for a better time and circumstance to produce the greatest effect, now's not a bad time to pull out my trump card, and the effect wasn't half-bad, if I do say so myself.

I wish I could've captured the shock on their faces to frame it on some wall. Wouldn't that be an amusing way to immortalize their shame.

 **(Fukui)  
** _Hoh_ —I had a hunch, but it looks like I was right on the money.

The only unperturbed girl has narrowed her grey eyes at us with an impish glint, fingers clasping her chopsticks underneath her chin with a devilish grin.

 _Pause for a bit—_

Rewind.

I better provide some context to this turn of events before the squad comes off its hinges any further.

* * *

First and foremost, the newcomer from a week ago, this Fukui girl, has been joining us for mealtimes on occasion. Every other breakfast, every other lunch, and or every other supper, with no set routine.

She would just turn up at random like this morning (though she did arrive before I did).

Personally, I've no caveats with her company, only because Sakaki seems to clash with her on a lot of fronts—then again, whom _doesn't_ she clash with?

And you know what they say, _'The enemy of my enemy is my distant colleague'_.

(I have a soft spot for messing with people's heads, specifically if their last names were Sakaki and Shirogane, and Fukui seems to be able to take it up a notch with her venomous tongue).

At any rate—

Apart from that evening where she first introduced herself, the very next instance she came over was the lunch hour the following day, and she did so with a loud entrance.

 **(Fukui)  
** _Keru-chan! Keru-chan!  
_ Mind if I chow with you and your _harem_?

In spite of the sheepish looks all around the table, she had ultimately decided to take it upon herself to be seated where I currently am (like I'd stated, I have been right next to Shirogane up until Yoroi's unfortunate comeback).

By the end of it, it had turned into a lively episode, though the topics of our discussions that period are not worth retelling.

More than it was lively, it was unbelievably heated.

In particular due to the manner in which she named Shirogane.

None of us raised the issue—not vocally, anyway.

Not even princess Sakaki, stricken as she was, had been able to put her awe into words. I bet that somewhere, in a faraway parallel universe, are pigs that took flight.

I shouldn't be making fun of her—I can't say I did any better.

You see, for someone we'd hardly seen before to suddenly give Shirogane a nickname as cutesy as _'Keru-chan'_ , I learned a valuable, valuable lesson.

That Ayamine Kei is a jealous, jealous person.

Shirogane, cool (and unfeeling) as cucumber, never bothered correcting her, which only heightened the pent up frustrations shared by Squadron 207-B.

Thus, then and there, I decided to make my move later that afternoon.

During CQC practice.

Shirogane and I were paired up as scheduled.

I don't want to brag, but—I've been improving at an unnatural rate. So unnatural that I feel like a different Ayamine. Or rather—I feel like _what I used to be_.

It helps that Shirogane is turning out to be a rather inspiring and supportive squadmate, going out of his way on several occasions to lend us his aid.

 _Huh_ —I'm not sure why I italicized that one part...

Well, back to my flashback.

I felt so confident and, secretly, desperate, in that humid afternoon, that I summoned just the right amount of audacity to propose a wager to my sparring partner.

 _'A wager? This isn't a game, Ayamine.'_

I had also developed a newfound irritation for every time he addresses me by my surname.

 _'Practice is boring. It'll help my motivation,'_ I misdirected him.

 _'Hmmm, that's not a bad idea, actually. Alright then, Ayamine. Sounds like a plan, what do you have in mind?'_

Now, before I proceed—

I can't remember exactly _when_ it had begun, this shift in his demeanor for the... better?

But one early morning, I ran into Shirogane on the way to the PX for breakfast, only to find him, _alive_ _?_

Not to say that he was dead beforehand.

More like—like the light had returned to his eyes.

And like the iron mask he'd been wearing had started to fracture.

I had a difficult time containing my wonder.

To compare, back when he first arrived, every time he showed any signs like he'd be glad, his expression would quickly turn pained. To an extent, this baffled me, not knowing why anyone would deliberately avoid such an uplifting emotion.

Though to be honest, this brooding temperament of his was what caught my eye to begin with.

I like dark and mysterious, okay?  
There's a certain charm to characters with the type (and it satisfies me to say that Shirogane hasn't lost that charm even with this shift I've been describing).

And that Shirogane didn't lie about it, or pretend to be what he was not, drew me to him.

People who look happy when the truth is they are sad.  
People who look friendly when the truth is they are bad.

Why can't the world just tell it like it is?

I abhor pretense too, got it?  
Only I can pretend like that.

 _Hmmm..._

Come to think of it.

I wonder—if he sees the same fleeting fantasies I've been seeing.  
I know they are terrifying, but those are just fantasies, aren't they...?

. . .

. . .

. . .

That's a thought to be saved for later.

Anyway, on that day—he waved and even greeted me with a soft expression.

It was one of those rare occurrences that made me smile on the inside...

(He himself still has a hard time smiling, by the way, and boy does it take a lot to get him to chuckle, and laughing outright is almost impossible. For now, at any rate—I haven't given up just yet).

Like I said, this shift in demeanor—it's not, perfect, but it's definitely, better.

I still see the pain behind his smiles, but at least he no longer cuts it short altogether.

Ever so slowly, and ever so surely, Shirogane is healing in front of me.

Although, when I think about it, all anecdotes, parables and hyperboles aside—is healing _actually_ possible?

 _'Time heals all wounds'_ , seriously, put that aside.

Hear me out.  
Here's Ayamine Kei's take on the matter:

Suppose that Shirogane were to stab me in the heart and I'd somehow survive.

A number of years later, I'm fully healed.

Injury—mended.  
And without a single trace of scars.

'Healed', by all definitions, right?

 _But that doesn't change the fact that Shirogane stabbed me in the heart._

Nothing cuts deeper than an old, painful memory... in my honest opinion...  
And unless I could erase that memory, it'll cut me for the rest of my life just as freshly as the day he stabbed my heart.

I guess I'm trying to say that this must be the healing Shirogane is presently going through, and that—I'm afraid he'll never be fully healed, even by Father Time...

But...

Even so.

The more he heals, the closer he becomes to the boy I see in my dreams...

And Ayamine Kei can take comfort in reaching that dream...

. . .

 _Ughh_ , I went off-track again so soon after.

I guess this is what it's like trying to think when hopelessly in love?  
 _Heh_ , it's quite the pain in the noggin, yeah, Ayamine Kei?

In any case.

Once Shirogane took the bait I had laid down,

 **(Kei)  
** _Mmmmm_.

I pretended to ponder with my eyes closed, when the truth is I had already planned the entire thing out.

 **(Kei)**  
Winner gets to boss around the loser.

 **(Shirogane)  
** _Ouch_ —that's a harsh sentence, don't you think?

 **(Kei)  
** Loser becomes the winner's slave.

 **(Shirogane)  
** That doesn't make it sound any better, Ayamine.

 **(Kei)  
** Lother doth _anything,_ _everything,_ winner commandeth.

 **(Shirogane)  
** How many more ways do you have to explain it?!  
And why do you suddenly have a lisp?!  
It made you sound archaic!

For him, maybe it was a harsh sentence.

I, on the other hand, would win no matter the outcome.

I had no problem losing. Because after all, I'd be Shirogane's slave, and I wouldn't have objected to _anything_ Shirogane-sama would've wanted of me, and from me...

And had I won—well, I won, so...

 _'If it'd help motivate you, it's fine with me.'_

Probably because he hadn't even considered the prospect of him losing, he went along with the program.

And so, we wrestled.

 **(Shirogane)  
** At this rate, you'd be better than me by tomorrow, Ayamine.  
But—tomorrow won't save you from losing today.

He had me pinned to the earth as he complimented me.

I wonder what naughty thoughts he had of Ayamine Kei as he came close to his imminent victory?

I suppose no one has ever taught him not to mess with a cornered animal, because with nothing to lose and the world to gain, Ayamine Kei, backed to a corner, had the tenacity of a wild animal.

It all came down to balance.

As overwhelmingly skillful as Shirogane is, I still seem to have the upper hand when it comes to our sense of balance.

For a short millisecond, I felt the opening I'd been waiting for.

As he adjusted his grapple on me, his center of gravity had veered just enough so that I'd been able to topple him on to his stomach, and placing my entire weight unto my hips, I sat sideways on his back to keep his front pressed to the ground.

His left arm I grabbed and yanked toward me and swiftly bent and locked it in between my legs, while with my wrists I pushed with all my might the palm of the locked hand against his shoulder blades.

His free hand could do nothing but wave around aimlessly to try to grab on to anything.

Now that I recall it, it might have been convulsing?

 _Nah_ —I wasn't so desperate I was ready to break his joints.

His fingers, perhaps.  
But definitely not his joints.

 **(Kei)  
** Cry uncle.

 _'Give up, give up, give up, please give up,'_ I wished over and over again as I used what willpower I had to maintain my hold. _'Please let me win.'_

I bet my desperation showed up in my face as well. I remember grinding my teeth.

 **(Shirogane)  
** I give—I give.

It felt like a long while before he finally tapped out.  
No amount of words could accurately express my utmost relief.

After releasing Shirogane, I started panting so much I thought I was a dog in heat.

Wait, that's a terrible metaphor, although it's quite telling of my mental state back then.

Correction—dog in _the_ heat.

That was a close one. Missing one stupid word could've caused a lot of damage to my reputation. How annoying.

So—Shirogane.

He waited, as a defeated gentleman would, for me to regain my pace before striking a conversation.

He had been flexing his shoulders in circles in the meantime, and shortness of breath didn't appear to affect him in the same way it did for me.

 **(Shirogane)  
** I really thought you were planning to rip out my arm for a second there.

 **(Kei)  
** I would like my reward.

Standing back upright, I broached my claim right off the bat.

 **(Shirogane)  
** _Haaaa—_

He lamented. Uselessly, might I add.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Fine. I lost. You get to order me around.

I ignored the regret filled in his voice.

 **(Kei)  
** _Huuu...  
_ My own personal slave for the rest of our lives.

My thoughts, I voiced out loud.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Ayamine?!

I widened my eyes, looking surprised.

 **(Shirogane)  
** For the rest of our lives?  
I never agreed to anything remotely resembling that!

 **(Kei)  
** Didn't you read the fine print?

 **(Shirogane)  
** You can't joke like that, Ayamine.  
Slavery isn't funny, it's the 21st century—

 **(Kei)  
** But...

Downcast, I shifted my eyes to the ground.

 **(Kei)  
** I fought my heart out for naught, then?

 **(Shirogane)  
** Now you're playing the victim.  
 _Urghh_ —alright, how about...  
Your wish will still be my command,  
but I'll only take **_one_**.

Bold and italicized, he was deathly serious about not budging on that.

 **(Kei)  
** One of my commands... for the rest of your life?

 **(Shirogane)  
** _Oi_. Give the 'rest of our lives' a rest, Ayamine.

He was near to losing his usual cool.  
Veins had started to show on his temple.

 **(Kei)  
** Okay.

After tugging him around, I finally agreed.

All according to plan, all that was left was to play my hand.

 **(Kei)  
** Shirogane—

 **(Shirogane)  
**. . .

I then raised a finger and pointed it straight at him. I was playing my hand, quite literally as well.

 **(Kei)  
** I want you to call me Kei,  
for the rest of your life.

 **(Shirogane)  
** —?

But I wasn't done yet.

 **(Kei)  
** And I want to call you Takeru,  
for the rest of my life.

There—having finally said it.

Like in the dreamlike fantasies that keep coming back to me, I had been contemplating the scene with Takeru and I sitting against the trunk of a tree atop a green, grassy hill, overlooking the blue sky without a care in the world.

How happy he looked, and how wide was my smile.

How I sat on top of him, claimed him for myself and shut him up with my lips.

How happy he made me...

He called me Kei, and I called him... Takeru...

It's—powerful, isn't it. A name, that is.

Others might think it silly.

Maybe it's a cultural thing.

In the same way that Sakaki was uncomfortable with Fukui addressing me solely by my family name, using my given name would've been criminal in her eyes.

Or maybe it's an Ayamine Kei thing...

Maybe Ayamine Kei was, simply put, being small and naive, and stupid and... she stooped so low that she was even blaming her national culture...

But it really, really troubled me, that a total stranger would have a special name for him while I wouldn't.

 _'Keru-chan'_ , she said so fondly.  
And— _'Kuki'_ , is his nickname for her?

I wanted to partake in what they had...

Was that so shallow of me...?

These are all rhetorical, by the way.

I did not, and still do not care for, what others might opine of my fervent request. A request I put my heart and soul on the line for—those who think it trite have no right to judge me.

 _'I told you... to cut it out... with the 'rest of our lives' nonsense,'_ Shirogane exhaled, looking relieved.

 _'God—you had me scared, you know. I was thinking of all the possible and impossible stunts you would've had me perform, but this—this is simple enough, uh, Kei,'_ he then said, wiping his forehead, _'even if it's for the rest of our lives.'_

And, so high my spirits were that my character had briefly broken, I revealed to him a mythical phenomenon seen only by a choice few—a once in a blue moon, Ayamine Kei smile.

 **(Kei)  
** Thank you so much... Takeru...

We had elevated to a first-name basis... way past petty honorifics and reserved surnames.

And maybe it was a cultural thing, maybe an Ayamine Kei thing.

Who cares.

The only definite thing is that, for the rest of our lives, no obstacle will ever stand between the bonds of Shirogane Takeru and Ayamine Kei.

And with nothing blocking my view, I heard another crack coming from his iron mask...

* * *

How was that for practice motivation?

(It's also worth remembering that I did briefly consider pummeling my way into Takeru's heart, and luckily I had decided against it.

I can only say 'luckily' now that the present outcome is the best I could've hoped for, because at the time, I honestly believed that brute-force was my only option).

 ** _*BAAAM*_**

My plate and food take a similar flight path to the unopened envelopes on my desk this morning, awaking me from my narration.

It had all been in my head.

No way in hell was I recounting these precious moments out loud to my rivals.

Sakaki has her palm flat on the table.  
That must've been the source of that slamming noise.

 **(Sakaki)  
** If–in that case, Sh–sh–shirogane.  
You should call me Ch–ch–chizuru from here on.  
That's–that's an o–o–order, from your squad leader.

Red as tomato in the face, the _tsundere_ princess blurted out something so unexpected of her.  
Not to be outdone by Fukui, and now me, even she is turning out of character and spilling with honesty.

That was a terrible array of stutters, though.  
She truly is a novice in many ways of the world.

 **(Yoroi)  
** And I am Mikoto!  
I won't answer to anything else, Takeru!

 **(Sakaki and Kei)  
** He's been calling you Mikoto from the start.

 _Ungh—_

I did not plan to say that in chorus with her, of all people.

 **(Takeru)  
** We better get going.  
Roll call starts in five.

At that, Takeru stands up, and everyone else follows in kind.

( _Huh_ —Sakaki's face is still beet-red).

As I scramble back to the barracks to make my room and my self presentable for roll call, I can't help but reconsider my priorities in life.

You know.

I had decided to enlist hoping to find a beautiful and honourable death, one that was denied to my late father.

That much hasn't changed.

What _has_ changed is that—senseless, mediocre days of nothingness, days such as today and yesterday and the week past.

It hasn't been so bad _living_ in them?

So, even if we were sent to the front lines tomorrow, and I find my beautiful death, I believe that these stupid days are the days that I would think of as I breathe my last breath.

The days of Ayamine Kei's, ordinary, everyday life.

Speaking of which—I should be receiving a new envelope in two days' time.

Oh, and—we seem to be forgetting about a certain pink-haired individual...


	24. Recovery

**Chapter 24 – Recovery**

* * *

 **Marimo**

* * *

I feel so out of place...

While this would make the second time in a row that Yuuko has asked me to have lunch with her, I have yet to get over the fact that I, the humble Sergeant Jinguuji Marimo, am dining in the same canteen as officers and officials way above my paygrade.

And though it isn't quite the height of rush hour, I've already been the target of a number of funny looks.

Colonel Xie of the 2nd Air Support Group.

Majors Johannes and Ferdinand of the 4th and 5th Tactical Armoured Battalions.

Chief Programmer Handa and Head Mechanic— _uh_ , what's her last name, Hammond?

A pair of diplomats seated together, both looking sharp and solemn in their suits and ties.

Dear me...

Removing me from my element and into the heat of hers.  
This might be Yuuko's most insidious plot to date—

 **(Yuuko)  
** What's the matter, Marimo?  
The food not to your liking?

 _Eep!_

The climate in here had been so heavy that I was nearing the early symptoms of claustrophobia. As a result, I haven't been able to mind my food.

 **(Marimo)  
** N–not at all!  
On the contrary, the food here is much tastier.  
And the variety is to die for!

 **(Yuuko)  
** But of course.

Her tone had an obvious air to it.

 _'_ _Duh,'_ she might as well have said.

 **(Yuuko)  
** You know, I've always wondered what synthesized whale meat tastes like.

Alright—she's plain bragging at this point.

Disinclined to indulge her, I pretend to take my time chewing my food.

Indeed, with every new mouthful of my savoury meal, I feel myself grow more and more afraid that my palates would be spoiled by these new tastes.

My regular old food would taste ever that much blander, no offense to Kyouzuka-obasan.

 **(Yuuko)  
**. . .

Across from Yuuko and beside me is Yashiro, whose attention has been dedicated wholly to her lunch.

Her eyes are on her plate, and between each serving, she would playfully roll her carrots until it'd be time for the next bite.

The carrots themselves—I don't believe she plans to eat them at all.

 **(Yashiro)  
**. . .

She glances at me, but it was so quick I hadn't the chance to flash her my reassuring (or perhaps anxious) smile.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Is the difference in flavour that great you'd grin to yourself like an imbecile?

Now she's mumbling with sluggish diction.

Honestly—what is she on to?

 **(Yuuko)  
** _Hoh_ —done so soon, Marimo?

I drop my chopsticks to the side to finally confront her and hopefully unearth her ulterior motives.

Might this be another one of her setups for a long-standing prank that she's scheming for the distant future? I've been victim to those more occasions than I care to remember.

Like that time she spiked my drink with liquor and dressed me up as a succubus for a staff gathering celebration.

The morning after—oh forget it. Yuuko still hasn't told me why my ex-boyfriend broke up with me the following day...

At any rate.

Improbable as it may be, I'd be better off getting burnt now than in the said dystopian future.

 **(Marimo)  
** Out with it, Yuuko.  
What's the real reason I'm here for?

 **(Yuuko)  
** My, my. So indignant.  
You've been spending too much time with Shirogane.  
He's rubbing off on you in a negative way.

Rubbing off on—negative—what?!

 **(Marimo)  
** I'll have you know that he's been quite the outstanding cadet!  
Only yesterday they'd been able to break the 20-kilometre mark!

 _'_ _Full gear and everything, mind you! I even had him carry the practice dummy!'_

Even Yuuko must be able to discern the alarming rate of progress that accomplishment entails. It's unheard of. Otherworldly, even.

It's also been a while since I've had to raise my voice at anyone in the squad, and it's not because I've gone any softer—in fact, I've been doubly tough on the ladies, and exponentially more so on Shirogane!

 **(Yuuko)  
** _Hah._

 _Eh?_

Yuuko suddenly laughs while playing with her food, as Yashiro had done with her carrots.

 **(Marimo)  
** What's so funny?

 **(Yuuko)  
** You haven't changed, have you, Marimo?

 **(Marimo)  
** _Ara?_

 _Haaa?_

Yuuko—observing her more closely, she acts and sounds rather off today, no?

 **(Yuuko)  
** You'd always let people get away with talking you down.  
But one word against your team—and the Mad Dog bites hard.

 _'_ _Easy. I was joking about Shirogane, so stop baring your fangs at me,'_ echoes her laughter.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Besides, what's wrong with spending lunch with a colleague now and again?

 _Heeeh?!_

To spend lunch with _me_ , no strings attached?!  
With neither underlying condition nor ulterior motive?!

That settles it! Something is most definitely awry!

 **(Marimo)  
** What is it really, Yuuko?!  
Are you under pressure by the UN council again?!  
Or is it the Imperial Diet, or—the Americans, this time?!  
Tell me, Yuuko! You can tell me who's been bothering you!

Her eyes widen with every guess I make.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Mari...mo...?  
No—it's nothing to do with that.

But!

This isn't you, Yuuko! I've known you for so long I'd be a terrible friend if I couldn't recognize your moods!

Make a snarky comment and look at me with pity, damnit! And after that, say something brilliant and make me feel inadequate, please!

Anything to erase that forlorn gaze in your eyes!  
You'd be raising a death flag were I reading a story about this meeting of ours—!

Oh, I see.

I see.

I see I see I see I see I see I see.  
I see how it is.

It's Code Red.  
DEFCON I.

Is that it, Yuuko?

 _Ah._ Why, I should've realized.

If this is the case and the situation this dire, it'd be no wonder you're acting out this way.

 **(Yuuko)  
** What now, Marimo?  
I've a feeling you're about to run your mouth with your wild misconceptions—

Yuuko pauses as I gesture her to pull closer.

She reluctantly obliges and leans toward the center of the table, where I await at the ready.

Placing my hand up to my cheek and speaking in a hushed whisper, I gander one last time to draw out the truth from her.

 **(Marimo)  
** Is it—Ichimonji-san?  
Have you finally split up with him?

Upon which I suddenly felt a sharp sting on my forehead, making me recoil in agony.

Yuuko had flicked me hard and squarely between my eyes.

I have to use two fingers to massage the pain away.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Like I said—you and your overactive imagination.

 **(Marimo)  
** Was I wrong, though?

 _'_ _About Ichimonji-san?'_

Uncalled-for flicking aside, Yuuko hadn't really denied it.  
I'd thought for sure this was a Code Red emergency.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Dead wrong.

 _Ouch_ —all that and I've come out empty-handed.

Well, not entirely.

I've managed to retrieve Yuuko's snootiness.

 **(Yuuko)  
** And you, Marimo?  
Have you found a suitable mate yet?

 _Ugh!_

It was a terrible idea to start eating again!  
I'd nearly spat my food back out!

 **(Yuuko)  
** What kind of answer is that?  
You're not getting any younger, you know.

 _'_ _Neither are you,'_ I want to retort, but I'm busy working the food down through my throat.

She doesn't seem to be choosing a particular theme for discussion. Barring my own attempt at one, we've really just been talking about—nothing, in particular.

Maybe Yuuko truly does want to merely spend lunch together? Like we'd always done back in the day?

Curious...

Not that I'm opposed to it or anything.

It's just—surprising, to tell the truth.

Though that doesn't mean I have to lower my guard altogether.

 **(Marimo)  
** No, I haven't been seeing anybody.

I give in to her for now.

As far as I and everyone else should be concerned, I'm simply sharing a meal with a, uhm, _colleague_ , at the moment.

It should be safe to start eating again, I hope, lest this no doubt costly food would go to waste.

 **(Marimo)  
** So Yuuko, if you haven't ended things with Ichimonji-san, would that mean you're still with him?

 **(Yuuko)  
** Marimo.

Out of the blue, Yuuko takes a turn for the serious.

 **(Yuuko)  
** The only way I'd ever forgive that hound is if he were to drop dead.  
And if he doesn't, I'm _this_ close to pouncing on the next man just to exact my revenge.

 _Whoa..._

 _That_ close? I don't believe there's a gap in between her fingers at all.

 **(Yuuko)  
** And I just might if hell breaks loose one of these days.  
Now, you ought to drop the subject before I—

 _'_ _Huh, what're you laughing for? Yashiro, did I say something funny?'_ Yuuko questions cautiously.

The reason I'm giggling (for which I have no plans of saying aloud, for my own good), is because Yuuko only ever gets this unreasonably hostile when she talks about Ichimonji-san. She is none the wiser in her own matters, I'm certain.

Ichimonji Takahashi—

The man with a faint Kyoto accent relentlessly pursued by the 20 year old Kouzuki Yuuko while she was still in the Imperial University after coming upon his High Speed Transportation Theory paper.

And there is nothing romantic about being pursued by the wily Kouzuki Yuuko.

Ever the woman of science, day in and day out she pulled me from duty only to complain about the preposterousness of the ideas postulated by the author. Whole lunch periods, much like this one, were spent with her going on and on—

 _'_ _He's only an Eishi, what the hell would he know about moving at high velocities?!'_

And on—

 _'_ _Apparently he's the youngest in history to ever reach the rank of Colonel, as if that's something to be proud of, right, Marimo?'_

And on...

 _'Dog of the what-world? What a stupid moniker they've penned him!'_

About this and that—

 _'_ _It's absurd! He's around my age, would you believe it!'_

At some point she completely stopped talking about the paper and brought up nothing but the author.

Obviously, I had to feign— _err,_ share—my interest as well.

 _'_ _Really? He's in the IRG? No way! Yet he still had the time to write a thesis on—what was his name again?'_

One day, she probably had enough and proceeded to satiate her curiosity, leaving her station to search for his under the guise of 'supplementary research'. Never had I flinched at the thought of tax monies squandered for a purpose like this...

Thenafter—

I've never been told the details of her visit, nor have I ever asked Yuuko for the juicy bits.

I only know that a flame was lit.

I'd never seen Yuuko so—inspired. So genuinely, happy...?

So— _in love..._

But the flames of passion didn't burn for as long as I had hoped for.

To the present, I've no clue as to why they had fallen out of love— _hm_ , but that's not exactly accurate, for two reasons:

One—I do have a clue, albeit a flimsy one. My only lead is that their fall-out had begun the day Ichimonji-san returned to Yuuko bringing along the orphans from Okinawa (incidentally, they both graduated here under my instruction).

Two—intuition tells me that they aren't, in fact, out of love. Evidently, Yuuko's unreasonable disdain for him borders on over-protection borne from affection, as opposed to the seething detachment she believes she's letting on.

The cold-blooded, level-headed, hard-hearted Professor Kouzuki Yuuko has a very humane and very womanly side to her, through and through.

Still hung up on Ichimonji-san, after all these years.

 **(Yashiro)  
**. . .

Did Yashiro—shake her head, at me?  
Or was that a nod?

I wonder how close my hunches had been—

 **(Yuuko)  
** No matter.

Yuuko sighs and shrugs.

 **(Yuuko)  
** What do you make of Shirogane, by the way?

 **(Marimo)  
** _Haaa?!_ Of Shirogane?! For a suitable mate?!  
I would! Never! Have! Such thoughts! Of! My students!

 **(Yuuko)  
** As much as I'm interested in your lust-besotted insights, I was actually asking how's he been doing lately—but go on ahead and humour me: what's the lewdest fantasy you've dreamt up so far?

 **(Marimo)  
** _Errr—_

 _Oops..._

I might've jumped the gun a bit there; I'd thought we were still on the topic of personal relationships.

Okay, all I have to do is sweep my former misinterpretation under the rug.

 **(Marimo)  
** In that case—

 **(Yuuko)  
** Is it in an _onsen_?  
Do you lure him into your bedroom and have your way with him all night long?

Yuuko just pulled the rug...

 **(Marimo)  
** Yuu—ko!

 _Ackh!_

We're getting weird looks from the other tables!  
From my superiors, no less!

I can feel heat gathering in my cheeks! How in the known universe was Yuuko able to guess that fantasy of mine, almost to the letter?!

 **(Yuuko)  
** You're too predictable.  
No wonder you keep throwing the idea of hot springs at me.  
Your subliminal messages might work on him, though.  
So go ahead and give it a whirl, Marimo.  
I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines.

 **(Marimo)  
** _Uhhh._

Nervously, I cough my way out of the awkward spot she has placed me in—

 **(Marimo)  
** _Ahem._  
As I was saying.  
Shirogane—he's quite the handful.

Ignore her snickers and carry on, Marimo.

Looking down at my plate and playing with my food the same way Yuuko and Yashiro had played (it's admittedly mildly entertaining), I decide to keep my report of Shirogane's recent development concise.

A handful—that would be the long and short of it, I think to myself as I chance a glimpse at the back of my hand.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Perhaps you should be a caring teacher and _'love'_ his tensions away?

 _Haa?_ I wish she'd drop it already.

Don't look at her, Marimo. It's another attempt to provoke a reaction out of you.

In any event—a handful.

* * *

Now—to give him credit where credit is due, Shirogane has been steadily finding his place in the last few days. He who started off distant and aloof is manifesting signs of a sense of belonging to the team.

He remains hesitant, and wary, but the effort is there nonetheless.

It has actually made my job a lot easier, instructing the squadron.

There is, however, a respect wherein I am having a difficult time abetting him...

Perhaps... should I report to Yuuko how he'd nearly pummeled my wrist almost a week ago?

It was the end of session, and I noticed Shirogane lingering in his seat staring out the window. I left him undisturbed as I packed up my belongings.

However, even after I'd finished, Shirogane still stared, as though his mind weren't really there.

Not wanting to leave him by himself in the room, I walked up to his desk and tried nudging him to my attention.

My fingers had hardly brushed the hairs on his arm when he reflexively snapped his wrist at mine.

He treated me like I'd been an unfamiliar foe.

Had I not reacted just as swiftly and placed my other hand on top of his, he might've done something he would've regretted.

I saw my reflection in his eyes.

And.

I saw—fear.

Yuuko didn't assign a boy to my care.  
She sent me a soldier who had lost his limbs.

Only he has the impression of having lost more than just an arm or a leg.

Why else had he looked at me like I were a ghost?

Needless to say yet I'll say it even so, I am no stranger to the psychology of casualties of war, being a survivor myself.

I was and I am a soldier, and it is in the nature of our line of work to stake our lives on the line for work.

As such.

Soldiers aren't known to live a very long and prosperous life. Matter of fact, those who survive for _too_ long might as well have died in the trenches of war.

Because—war is.

Gruesome.

To say the least.

 _And no one comes out of war in one piece._

Even if you escape with your body unscathed, can you say the same about your mind?

Even if you escape with your mind untattered, can you say the same about your spirit?

Even if you escape with your spirit unbroken, can you say the same about your soul?

For paltry causes and causes grander.  
For corrupt causes and causes nobler.

War is the ultimate robber.

Hence I say that aged survivors might as well have stayed behind, for in one form or another, the calamity of war eats away a piece of our humanity whether we will it or not.

A piece of it—and in rare cases, all of it.

 **(Yuuko)  
** I kid you not.  
Sexual relief is a proven medical remedy.  
I'd prescribe it to him had I brought my pad along with me.

. . . . . . .

She's invading even my inner monologue.

And since when has she been allowed to prescribe medication? She isn't _that_ kind of a doctor.

 _Ahem_ , setting Yuuko aside—

Shirogane was lucky that day that it'd been I who faced him.

As autonomously as he defended himself, so too did my own subconscious act on my behalf to protect my self.

But what if it had been one of his squadmates?  
They would have surely been harmed.

You wouldn't want that, right, Shirogane?

I scolded him.

I scolded him, loud and irate as can be.

I was outraged, you see.

Not for something as trivial as raising a hand against me.

Outraged, because—I was greatly concerned...

 _'_ _I don't want to hurt anyone,'_ Shirogane then whispered through gritted teeth, _'I don't want anyone to get hurt,'_ as I squeezed his hand meanwhile.

Common among rookies and veterans alike, I realized then that Shirogane's fear had been none other than the fear of loss.

Fear of losing one's life, or fear of losing your allies.  
In either case and other cases—the fear of loss is the fear of losing.

Shirogane...  
He has the makings of a fine soldier, but a soldier—he is not...

Yuuko hadn't described him in jest. _'Damaged merchandise,'_ I believe she had said?

Though I should've been worried, I was relieved, instead.

Because his humanity hasn't been fully robbed from him as far as I can tell.

For as natural as it is for soldiers to live fast and thus end early, so is it natural for us humans to fear losing what we hold dear.

But—

And this is my own personal belief:

Even if you were to lose your body, your mind, spirit or soul—as long as you retain your humanity, there is hope for salvation yet.

That is why one such as I, the humble Sergeant Jinguuji Marimo, survivor of war, can still blend in with society. And, although Yuuko had sent me damaged goods, it is precisely because I am a survivor that I can be Shirogane's best teacher.

 _'_ _It's alright to be afraid, Shirogane...'_ I sought to pacify him.

There's nothing wrong with being afraid. After all, when we fight to protect something we hold dear, isn't that simply a loquacious way to express that we're _afraid_ of losing what it is we're protecting?

Fear, like technology, or, authority, is inherently neither good nor bad. It's a matter of how it's wielded and harnessed.

Harnessed properly, it can be a powerful driving force.  
Improperly, it can drive one powerfully, usually to places where one would rather not go.

 _'_ _But as you are right now, you're frightening everyone else as well—'_

Slowly, I lowered his hand—the hand that had decided to protect its owner by swatting mine away. By then I had already forgiven it before even being asked.

 _'_ _I can't control it, sensei,'_ Shirogane interrupted.

I could measure his anguish through his trembling fingers.

 _'_ _It's like someone else takes over me, and by the time I come to, I've already done a deed guilty of harm.'_

 _'_ _I'm losing myself, Marimo-chan...'_

If only Yuuko had given me more background info, I'd have _something_ to work with, and maybe I'd be able to find a more effective means of approaching whatever had inflicted this amount of damage on his psyche.

But as always...

Oh—the notion to correct him from suffixing my name with that endearing honourific had slipped my mind at the time. And I might have knowingly let it slip... as it seemed to set him at ease.

 _'_ _How do I get rid of this...? I've... been trying... but nothing works...'_

 _'_ _Nonsense,'_ believing it appropriate, I borrowed a minor taunt out of Yuuko's playbook and sternly spoke, _'it isn't something that disappears with the snap of a finger.'_

Wouldn't that be convenient.

Do you realize how long it took me to get over mine? I'm embarrassed to even hint.  
Though it most certainly didn't happen overnight.

I can't even truthfully declare that I've completely gotten over it.

There have been occasions when I'd had to let it all out.  
I'm only human... I have a tipping point like everyone else...

Letting go of his hand and taking a looser stance, I begrudgingly confessed, _'And to be perfectly honest, I don't know the cure myself...'_

However.

Shirogane.

If you truly have no want for anyone to get hurt—

 _You must conquer this, before it conquers you._

Like a lousy teacher with no clue what my lecture had been about, I blurted out that incredibly vague string of words. It was similar to claiming that one and one makes a sum of less than a hundred.

But I wanted to forego the irony of waiting until someone were to suffer an injury for Shirogane to learn his lesson.

I honestly, _honestly_ , don't know the answer, though...

Some teacher I am, huh?

 _'_ _How? If you don't have the answer, how do you expect me to conquer this? I don't even know what this is! Is there no way out...? Damn it—!'_

Shirogane's fist hung mid-air, inches from the top of his desk. He'd been in the process of slamming it, though his fist never landed.

It simply stayed there, quivering in indecisiveness.

And I—  
I'd proven that he was resolute in not wanting to cause me harm.

 _'_ _That would've probably fractured my carpals,'_ I pointed out, a trace of relief in my expression.

I thought that I had needed to compensate for my lack of a cure to Shirogane's traumatic impulses, so I had inserted my palm between the desk and his course of impact.

Not my proudest idea.  
However, it was the only one I had.

Gratefully—he had grabbed a hold of himself in time.

Too hasty in your fury, Shirogane.

 _'_ _Don't throw in the towel simply because I said I don't have the answer.'_

I might not have it, Shirogane, but _'it is a student's duty to surpass their teacher.'_

Now, if you'll excuse me.

* * *

I've never had the flare for climactic encounters.

It ended there with my abrupt departure.

Coming back to it, though—how _did_ I overcome my post-traumatic tendencies?  
In the heat of the moment, I wasn't able to come up with a solution to share with Shirogane.

It's been a matter of days in between then and now, yet I still haven't been able to realize what it was that cured me.

Time definitely helped.  
It did fade over the passage of time.

Though there was something else that I just can't seem to pinpoint right now.

It's on the tip of my tongue.  
The corner of my cerebral cortex.

Something else had been the trigger—

 **(Yuuko)  
** By your tone of voice, I should be prescribing _you_ some sexual release, Yuuko.

 _Whaaa?_

She's still going on about that?

Yuuko sure has been stretching that gag dry, although it wasn't funny during her first try. I'd thought she would give it up by now, especially since I haven't been granting her the reactions she's been fishing for—

Did she just refer to herself in third person?

 _Ah?_

 **(Marimo)  
** What is it, Yashiro?

The reticent young one has been tugging at my sleeve for a while.

 **(Marimo)  
** Look up? Why, what for?

She hasn't verbally mentioned anything; it was the look in her eyes that conveyed my interpretation.

Hey—?

 _Uhhh,_ how do I put this without sounding like I've lost my marbles...

Why are there two Kouzuki Yuukos on the other side of the table?

A trick of the eye?

 _Grrr_ —I must have overloaded my brain, I'm now seeing double.  
But, there's only one Yashiro, so that can't be the case.

What—is happening here?

 **(Yuuko?)  
** Now now, Yuuko.  
I don't mind you hurling those insults at me when it's just the two of us, but in front of your dear friend Jinguuji-san and Kasumi-chan—show some class, will you.  
I see where your ward gets that unrefined personality of hers.

 **(Yuuko?)  
** _Nnhh..._ Shut it.  
There are several empty tables yet you choose to sully this one with your presence.  
Not to mention—she's _not_ my 'ward', just as he isn't yours.

 **(Yuuko?)  
** _Ara?_ Is memory failing you young in your years?  
Need I remind you that you arranged for me to meet you here at this hour?  
And although you told me to come alone,  
I see you aren't abiding by your own rules as usual.

 **(Yuuko?)  
** We can converse just fine through separate tables.

 **(Yuuko?)  
** _Tut tut tut.  
_ And here I believed littlest sister just wanted to share lunch with her dearest _Onee-sama_.  
I'm disappointed. Verily disappointed.

 _'_ _And by the by,'_ she isn't finished.

 **(Yuuko?)** ** _  
_**Kindly not speak ill of Ryuu-kun.  
Unlike you, he doesn't strive to disappoint me day by day.

A disappointment?

Yuuko is?

But—Yuuko is anything but!  
She's the most brilliant person I've ever known!

 **(Yuuko?)  
** Kasumi-chan, why—your glow is returning by the minute.  
I trust you've been taking care of your health and refraining from overexerting yourself?

At which Yashiro replies with a series of earnest nods.

Oh.

It's becoming clearer, the situation transpiring—

 **(Marimo)  
** Kouzuki-sensei?

 **(Yuuko and Yuuko?)  
** Yes?

They respond as one.

I had that coming, I should've known better.

It's Professor Kouzuki Yuuko, and.  
Doctor Kouzuki Motoko, the famous (and infamous) neurosurgeon of Yokohama Base.

I wasn't seeing double, I'd just been slow on the uptake.

Why did the resemblance have to be so striking!  
They sound the same, too!

It makes sense now...

From the moment I lowered my eyes, all that teasing of medical prescriptions hadn't been Yuuko all along. Yuuko might've even been on the receiving end of them.

I was deeply absorbed in my incident with Shirogane that I failed to tell apart Dr. Motoko as soon as I should have! And the spectacles should've been a huge giveaway!

Still, though.

Prescribing those, _uh_ , 'carnal', medications—does she actually do that to her patients?

She really takes after Yuuko, doesn't she.  
Or I should really say that Yuuko takes after her eldest sister.

 **(Kouzuki-sensei)  
** I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, Jinguuji-san.  
I'd rather not be lumped in the same genre as this demoness.

She's calling Yuuko names while wearing that innocent smile...

 _Errr._

It's—bewildering, in a sense.

It looks innocent and feels innocent, yet somehow, it _is_?

Is there a catch, like there always is with Yuuko?  
Or is Dr. Motoko simply as she appears?

 **(Yuuko)  
** _Pffft_ —

Yuuko snaps her fingers.

 **(Yuuko)**  
You can't even come up with your own insults.  
Who's classless now—?

 **(Kouzuki-sensei)  
** Just Motoko is fine, Jinguuji-san.  
A dear friend of my littlest sister is a dear friend of mine.

Oh my.

I've never seen Yuuko subdued so expertly before.  
Perhaps the weight of being her older sister is giving Dr. Motoko the edge on Yuuko?

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** Though I must say—for all the good that Yuuko-tan says about you, I'm unsure why she's kept me from meeting you all these years.

Wait, Yuuko talks about me to her sister?

 **(Yuuko)  
** —!

 _Huh?_

No rebuttal from Yuuko?

She has resorted to resuming her meal.  
She reminds me of a grumpy child who received a nice present, but not the present they were hoping for.

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** Yuuko-tan has always been selfish with her belongings, I suppose.  
She and Mitsuko have ripped apart countless of our toys in two.

Is she referring to another sibling of theirs?

 **(Motoko-sensei)**  
 _Hmm,_ pardon me, Jinguuji-san.  
I believe I've mistakenly likened you to a toy.

 _'That was awfully rude of me,'_ apologizes the doctor.

 **(Marimo)**  
Oh—no offense taken, sensei.

 **(Motoko-sensei)**  
Indeed, her treatment of you is more reminiscent of how she treated Marshmallow, way back when.

 **(Marimo)**  
Marsh...mallow?

 **(Motoko-sensei)**  
Yes, he was a guinea pig.

A guinea—did I hear that correctly?

 **(Motoko-sensei)**  
It devastated Yuuko-tan when Marshmallow passed away.  
She wouldn't open her room for days, you know, even when _haha-ue_ and _chichi-ue_ were worried sick.  
Mitsuko had to sneak her meals when everyone else had fallen asleep.  
Don't look surprised, Yuuko. I had seen her tiptoe in the middle of the night.

 **(Yuuko)**  
For the last and final time...  
Marshmallow... was... a hamster...  
 _Hamster!_

I've just been compared to the family pet...

 **(Yuuko)  
**. . .

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** But having made your acquaintance under these circumstances, I've a feeling that Yuuko-tan had brought you along only to serve as a shield against me—

A shield? Against Dr. Motoko?

I wonder what that's supposed to mean.

 **(Yuuko)  
** That's enough out of you!

 _'_ _Ahaha,'_ giggles the doctor.

I secretly (and nervously) giggle along with Yashiro.

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** You don't say much, do you, Jinguuji-san?

 **(Marimo)  
** That's not it, Motoko-sensei.

In truth, my mind is still trying to work out this outcome of events, in addition to the air of intelligence strongly emanating from Yuuko's elder sister.

The aura is slightly intimidating, even when Dr. Motoko herself doesn't give off that intimidating vibe.

And I seriously do not want to be in the middle of these two when they clash.

Is there a proper term in the dictionary for the phenomenon when two geniuses collide?

 _Ah_ —so that's what she had meant about Yuuko tagging me along as her shield...

 **(Marimo)  
** Oh, and Marimo is fine with me too, sensei.

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** Pleasure to finally meet you, Marimo-tan.

Wow.

If appearances weren't a deciding factor, it would be impossible to tell they were sisters based on behaviour alone.

 **(Yuuko)  
** Enough, I said—

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** My apologies, Marimo-tan.  
It would appear that littlest sister is afraid she'd lose her dearest friend to _Onee-sama_.  
Worry not, Yuuko darling.  
 _Onee-sama_ could never hurt her littlest sister, at least not without administering an anesthetic first.

 _'_ _Hohoho,'_ she laughs at her own humour.

 **(Yuuko)  
** _Hmph._

Yuuko waves her off.

I'm not sure if the doctor had been joking or not, but the idea of Yuuko being somewhat afraid of losing me—is honestly, heartening... Especially since she earlier planted the idea in my head that losing me would be similar to losing a pet to Yuuko.

 **(Yuuko)  
** With that out of the way—

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** _'_ _In no part thanks to Yuuko'_ , be a sweetheart and speak the truth, sister dear.

Her eyelids are twitching.

I've never seen her as abashed as she is.

Yuuko looks the role of a younger sister being embarrassed in public by a doting older sister.

Family, huh?

Sure it's adorable, but downright—humiliating, from little sister's shoes.

I also feel like I shouldn't be intruding in family affairs.  
Or any affair involving them both, for that matter.

I really shouldn't be here—

 **(Yuuko)  
** Stay, Marimo.  
You don't have to listen.  
Just—stay, please...

 **(Marimo)  
** O–kay... Yuuko...

* * *

In the end, there wasn't a meteoric clash like I'd thought there would be, and so I returned my mind to my lunch and helped Yashiro with hers. All the while, both sisters had been speaking in lower voices.

I am not able to comprehend everything that had slipped their tongues, though I do hear some of the words.

 _'_ _My thesis is sound—'_

 _'_ _I know, I read it last night.'_

 _'_ _Then you must know...you're holding us back.'_

 _'_ _Arrogance...after catching up...long last...'_

 _'_ _Just fulfill your end...finish...the...unit.'_

 _'_ _I've repeatedly said...procure live specimens.'_

 _'_ _Khh...can't you come up...another way?'_

 _'_ _Hoh? Is...doubt...I'm hearing?...are you protecting?'_

 _'_ _Rubbish. Until then...you're holding...back...keep...in mind...'_

Their incoherent conversation went for—ten, maybe eleven, minutes—until Yuuko suddenly stormed away, leaving even her used tray on the dining table.  
She had left Yashiro, too, although Yashiro has made no attempt to follow after.

It had been a serious, important dialogue...

Can't they have talked this over in the privacy of their own offices?  
Or had Yuuko dreaded her sister that much that she needed the assistance of publicity and me to cope with Motoko-sensei?

She's practically harmless, though...

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** Kasumi-chan, what have I said about eating your vegetables?

That appeared to be enough to get Yashiro going on her carrots (I'll pretend I hadn't seen her grimace at first).

Now that I'm left with Motoko-sensei, I suppose it'd be an opportune moment to get to know Yuuko's family, whom Yuuko had been keeping from meeting me (if I take the doctor's word for it, that is).

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** How do you put up with her, Marimo.

The doctor heaves her shoulders, assuaged at last for being able to enjoy her food.

 **(Marimo)  
** _Uhm_. That's your sister you're talking about, sensei.  
I'm not sure you should really be saying that about her, _ahaha._

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** You think so highly of her, don't you?  
Though I suppose that must be why Yuuko-tan treasures you so.  
To be able to turn a blind eye to her many flaws—yes, you really are her friend, my dear.

Many... flaws?

 **(Marimo)  
** Sure, Yuuko has her quirks.  
But, flaws? That wouldn't be my first choice of phrase.

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** _Haaa?_ Marimo, as a doctor, it is my duty to be brutally honest with my patients.  
Just because I admire your ability to turn a blind eye to my demoness of a sister, it does not, by any means, necessitate that you likewise be blind in the literal plane.

 _Urk._

That was honest enough, but more brutal than I had anticipated.

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** What if I told you, Marimo, that the only reason I've tolerated working with Yuuko is because she has my younger sister—her older—held hostage?

 **(Marimo)  
** Hos...tage?

Yuuko?

She's holding their sister ransom, just to force the cooperation of Motoko-sensei? Mitsuko—that was their sister's name, right?

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** Would you still tell yourself that your dearest friend has no flaws?

I take back everything I've said about the mild mannered doctor.

Her glare is as piercing, if not more so, than Yuuko's.  
I feel frozen in place, as though I had met the eyes of Medusa, the Gorgon monster of Greek mythology.

She has the same eyes as her little sister... and for an instant, even looked exactly alike.

I... don't want to believe... that the Yuuko I know... would do something so hideous...

Especially to her own family, but... she must have her reasons...

That's it.

She must have her reasons.

The Yuuko I know always has her reasons.  
Although—a reason for holding her sister hostage?

I'd be hard pressed to come up with one...

That doesn't matter though.

Yuuko is my friend.  
My dearest, closest friend.

An unwavering friend who has been there for me every time I've needed her.

In the darkest times of my life, she shined a light for me so I could find my way back.

So—even if reason escapes me.

Even if her methods are... hideous...

I have to stand up for her.

Because if I don't, whom else does she have?  
Who else would take her side when the world turns its back on her?

Only I.

Only Sergeant Jinguuji Marimo.

Friend to Kouzuki Yuuko...

And realizing all that... I've come up with my answer.

Shirogane—

You probably feel like the universe has turned against you.

In your darkest of hours, I shouldn't have run when I had.  
No—I should've stayed at your side instead.

I should be to Shirogane, what Yuuko had been for me.

And Yuuko was—my trigger.

 _My redemption_.

So please allow me to walk you on your road to recovery, Shirogane.

As my way of paying back Yuuko... for saving me...

Smiling to Dr. Motoko, I do only that—I smile.  
Because while I have no words to disprove her, I've decided I don't _have to_ disprove her.

 **(Motoko-sensei)  
** _'_ _Love is blind,'_ people wiser than me have said.  
Rest easy, I don't fault you for your loyalty to my family.

 _'_ _However, tread carefully, Marimo. You would do well to open your eyes once in a while.'_

 **(Motoko-sensei)**  
If Yuuko's doubt festers, and she holds back our life's work if only to protect one friend, I fear even I will have to intervene. The course of our species far precedes the trifling wishes of my littlest sister.

 _'_ _And—come hell or high water, I will free my dearest Mitsuko from the talons of Yuuko.'_

Suddenly, her beaming smile has earned a whole new meaning to me.

What a complicated family...

 _. . . . ._

Yashiro, will you please loosen your grip on my sleeve?

I get it, I get it.

We're all afraid of losi—or rather, we're all trying to protect something...


	25. Will

**Chapter 25 – Will**

* * *

 **Miki**

* * *

November 4, 2001

 _Addressed to the offices of UN Undersecretary General Tamase Genjousai, as written by Tamase Miki of UN Yokohama Base, Squad Leader of Training Squadron 207-B:_

* * *

Dear Papa,

It's been a while since I've last written you, and I'm sorry for not having a proper excuse for my lack of letters. But that's because—I've been having so much fun here, Papa!

First things first, though.

 _(Don't get too carried away, Miki. This letter has to be screened before it reaches his hands, after all.)_

In response to your last letter—yes, I've had my first kiss from the man I've been telling you about. _(Hold fast, Miki! Papa totally misinterpreted my last letter when I shared the First Aid session I had with Takeru-san as my partner! The mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was part of the training, but Papa didn't get that! Ackh! It's too late to take back now, so I can only hope Papa never ends up finding out!)_ His name is Shirogane Takeru, by the way, so you don't have to keep referring to him as your future son-in-law. _(Awah-wah-wah, I'd be in so much trouble if my friends find out about these letters...)_ And Papa, isn't it too soon to talk about grandchildren? _(Forget trouble, they'd give me the death sentence!)_ You should really be careful of what you write in these letters, Papa... _(and so should I)._

And on the subject of my recent promotion to Squad Leader _(*g–g–gulp*)_ , there is nothing new to report on this front. Everyone under my command has been developing admirably thanks to your daughter's stark leadership. I hope this makes you proud, Papa! _(There's no reneging this one... Papa colossally misread my last letter, huhuhu... I shouldn't have taken Yoroi-san's advice that day! Stupid, stupid Miki! I'll worry about the consequences when I get there. As long as it makes Papa happy...)_

In fact, our progress has been noticed by the senior officers of our base that they have decided to move up the timeline of the Winter CCSE by almost a week! They had only briefed us this morning—that our exam has been rescheduled to begin on Sunday, November 11. _(That didn't make Takeru-san happy, for some reason...)_ Mark that date on your calendar, Papa, because that's the date your Miki will leave as a flight cadet of the United Nations and later return as a full-fledged officer. _(I sound so grown-up!)_ I have no doubt in my mind we will nail that exam this time!

 _(Hmm, what else should I let Papa know? No more Takeru-san or Squad Leader talk, I'd rather not dig that grave any deeper. So—)_

Don't you worry about me, Papa. I've been having the time of my life.

How has work been treating you? I know you're fighting hard for my sake, and for Mama's sake, but please take care of yourself as well, okay? _(I don't know what else I'd do if I lose you too, Papa...)_ If anyone gives you a difficult time, you let me know, and I'll give them a taste of the Tamase Miki Boomerang!

That made you smile, didn't it? That was just a joke, alright? A joke! _(I have to make that crystal clear in case Papa takes it word for word again. I don't want anyone knocking on our doors in the middle of the night!)_

Anyways—I'll have to end it right here. I have a nice streak of waking up on time, and I would like to keep that streak running!

As always, keep in touch, Papa. I'll try not to make you wait as long for my next letter. Sorry again for delaying this one.

Signed.

Your loving daughter,  
Tamase Miki

* * *

 **Yuuko**

* * *

 _Hmph._

Barging into my office when I haven't called for him, as if he hasn't caused me enough grief already.

The hell does he want now.

If it's about the 00 Unit, I have no control over what happens from this point onward.

I've done my part.  
My research has reached its fruition.

I have given the Unit a working mind.

It's up to my sister to give it a body.

The wait is as excruciating for me as it must be for you.

 **(Shirogane)  
** Sunday—one week from today.  
BETA forces from Sado Island will dock on the coast of Niigata by dawn.

Shirogane about-faced, making his way to the exit before I get the chance to say something in return.

The hubris.

He's growing bolder by the day.

 **(Yuuko)  
** And what would you have me do with that information.

A week from today.

Peculiar choice of timing—if I must say.  
Too late to thwart completely, too soon to begin acting.

What are you scheming, Shirogane?

Without so much as looking me in the eye, he shoots back.

 **(Shirogane)  
** You've moved our evaluations to that day.  
If one of us is scheming anything, it would be you, sensei.

 _'Do what you must; I've said what I came to say.'_

At least he stopped in his tracks while saying so, though that did bring about the end of his surly visit.

And at least there is a silver lining to his damning forewarning.

I suppose—this is what you've been asking for, _Onee-san_...  
I'll get you your bloody specimens.

The same ones... that bring about... Marimo's... demise...

But, I must.

I'm sorry Marimo.

For what I'm about to do.

I really did think of you as a friend...


	26. To Catch a Butterfly

**Chapter 26 – To Catch a Butterfly**

* * *

 **Kukiko**

* * *

 **(Kukiko)**  
Turn that way.

 **(Ryuu)**  
My scarf's not a steering wheel—

 **(Kukiko)**  
Now this.

 **(Ryuu)**  
Don't yank! Pointing is enough—!

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Oops,_ you made a wrong left.

 **(Ryuu)  
**. . .  
How much farther?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Not much.

 _Thump thump, thump thump._

Only one set of footsteps can be heard between my brother and I.

One set.

Of footsteps.

 _'How is that possible,'_ you might be wondering, _'shouldn't there be two?'_

It's simple really.

My lazy-ass brother has decided to piggyback on his sister, so now I have to carry him as we gallop to our destination.

 **(Ryuu)**  
Look, _Nee-chan_.  
I don't mind the giggles and pointing fingers of the other passersby, but would you at least not twist the story to make it look like I'm the bad guy here?  
And 'gallop'? I'm not a horse, you know.

 **(Kukiko)**  
But Ryuu, why would they giggle and point fingers at you in the first place? Is it wrong to give your crippled sister a lift when she needs one?

 _'People are fucked up sometimes. I don't get it either.'_

 **(Ryuu)**  
Well, it is when my sister considers a cramped wrist to be 'crippling'. How does your wrist affect your ability to walk anyhow?

 **(Kukiko)**  
The time for questions is past! All that's left is to finish what you started!

 _'So enough yapping and more walking! Chop chop!'_

Anyhow—

The cat's out of the kettle, thanks to my spoiled twin brother.  
As he mentioned, I had taken his generous offer for a piggyback ride.

 **(Ryuu)**  
—I never offered!

And it's approaching midday, though personally, I've already been up eight or so hours.

I had an early morning with Kouzuki-sensei, and after that, a long practice session in the simulators with the squadron.

After a few drills, my left wrist started cramping, so Ryuu and I took a break and he dragged me to the clinic.

 _'It's carpal tunnel syndrome, isn't it, sensei? I'm doomed, this is how it all ends for Fukui Kukiko! Done in by her stinking fingers! Oh—the travesty!'_

 **(Ryuu)**  
God—you make a shitty narrator, _Nee-chan_.

 _It wasn't carpal tunnels. Onee-chan was being as overdramatic as ever. You should've seen how fast she scrammed when Motoko-sensei came back with a syringe—_

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Ahaha~_.  
No one needs to know that, Ryuu.

 _'And stay out of my chapter! Who do you think you're talking to anyhow?!'_

Don't listen to him, he must've remembered it differently.

And wrongly.

 **(Ryuu)**  
 _Urggh!_ Unhand my scarf, _bakaniki!_

 **(Kukiko)**  
You dare call your sister a fool?!

 _Agrr!_

 _'Alright, alright! You got me!'_

Damnit! I overestimated my hand.

I thought I had him when I dropped my fist dead center on the back of his head, like a judge pounding a gavel at the verdict.

But Ryuu had then jumped in place and started rocking me every which way, I was almost flung aside!

Talk about motion sickness. That was more nauseating than a ride in the _Senjutsuki!_

I let go of his scarf while he settles down and picks back his stride.

I feel woozy...

We're almost there, Ryuu.

He has stopped asking for directions, most likely since he's figured out where I've been steering us to. And he should be familiar; we used to lounge out there all the time when we were but senior cadets ourselves.

Back when Ryuu would force me to use up our free time watching her.  
Now's his chance to return the favour.

Just a few more turns and one flight of stairs.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Nee_ , it's as ugly as ever, huh?

I muse, tidying up the mess I made on his hind shoulders in the meantime.

 **(Ryuu)**  
 _Hmm?_ Oh—that.  
Motoko-sensei says it'll take a bit longer, but I've stopped giving a damn either way.

 _'It'll fade when it fades,'_ Ryuu boasts with a sidelong grin.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Speaking of Motoko-sensei, haven't you said you've learned all that you needed?

Just as I had bargained my participation in Kouzuki-sensei's STF by asking her to be my mentor, Ryuu had made a similar stipulation with the doctor.

I don't exactly know what type of lessons Ryuu had asked of her, though. And neither does he know what kind of lessons I've been taking from the Professor.

Not that knowing would change anything.

 **(Kukiko)  
** And yet I still see you visiting in the wee hours of the morning?

 **(Ryuu)**  
 _Hmmm_. Force of habit, I suppose?  
I don't have much else to do with the extra free time, so—

 **(Kukiko)**  
You could sleep in, you know.

Lowering my voice, I whisper directly into his ears.

 **(Kukiko)**  
It's because of Fumie-san, yeah?  
I see the way she looks at you, and I bet you just love soaking it all in.

I'm of course talking about the promiscuous nurse aide of Motoko-sensei, Miss Hoshino Fumio. Never a dull moment when you're around her, _nuh-uh_.

Boys are so predictable. Whenever they're up to something, chances are you'd find a girl at the bottom of the pool of reasons, no matter what sorry excuse they come up with.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Although, would she make a better sister-in-law than—

 **(Ryuu)**  
 _Gahk!_

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Hah!_

Nice try, punk!

He tried to rock my boat again, and learning from my last mistake, I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck in a sleeper hold.

Ryuu gave up just as immediately.  
That's my smart brother for you.

I wait for him to cough it all out and catch his breath before starting back up.

 **(Kukiko)**  
By the way, great job on Anego, little bro.  
And Aniki—damn, I should've seriously beaten him down while I still had the upper hand.

 **(Ryuu)**  
No kidding.  
 _*cough*cough*_  
He really made us work to the bone for that last big W.

And more than just them.

Akane, Haruko, Tae, Asakura, and Takahara.  
What had taken us years to perfect, they had done within a week!

Well—they're not _quite_ perfect, but decent enough to match up with our reserve flights on the old OS.

Kouzuki-sensei had explained that the information sharing capability of the new system is milestones above the former, and with Keru-chan's piloting data in the mix, it takes no time at all for everyone to be up to snuff!

Curse you and your XM3, Shirogane Takeru!

 **(Ryuu)** _  
_'Years'? It didn't take us 'years'.

 _'You're exaggerating,'_ he huffs.

Still—Ryuu teaching old dogs new tricks is quite the _tour de force_ , if I do say so myself.

 _'Don't make it sound like it was easy though, Nee-chan.'_

 **(Ryuu)**  
Especially Anego. She was a real pain in the ass back there.  
Hell—she made me swallow my own vomit a few times.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Well, you asked for it.

 **(Ryuu)**  
Naw, _bakaniki_.  
 _She_ came to _me_.

 _'Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, lil bro,'_ and I'll pretend I hadn't seen your lips curve upward when you brought that up.

Also—numbnuts!

Keep calling me names and I'll keep pushing your buttons!

Karna, loser.

 **(Ryuu)**  
It's _karma_ , _Nee-chan_.  
How do you butcher a Hindu legend's name like that?

 _'Yet another reason they called you Butch.'_

 **(Kukiko)** _  
Tonikaku—_

That aside.

We've arrived, Ryuu!

And having finally arrived, I let go of Ryuu's neck, jump onto my two feet, and rest my hands on the railing.

He does the same thing, only he leans against it on his back.

The both of us are on the second floor balcony of the assembly hall with a spectacular view of the practice field, where Keru-oniichan and his _harem_ — _err_ , training unit (sorry not sorry)—are keeping busy with their own exercises.

 **(Ryuu)**  
Keru-oniichan? _Haaa?  
_ You seem to have a new nickname for him every day.

 _'You know, maybe I'll stick to calling you bakaniki if you keep acting like one,'_ pesters my loving brother.

 **(Kukiko)**  
What can I say?  
It's a new day, a new life.  
 _Ipso facto_ , new nickname, Ryuu!

 _'Plus, he's been treating me like a little sister for some odd reason, you know?'_

Or can it be—is my brother jealous of Keru-oniichan?

 **(Ryuu)**  
As if.

He spits.

Worry not, you'll always be my number one, Ryuuseiu.

Actually, can I share a secret with you?

(But don't you dare—I repeat, don't you dare tell Ryuu about this!)—

I used to believe I'd marry my twin brother when we'd grow up.

But wait! Before you get any perverted ideas—isn't it only natural to fall for your superhero?

That's like, a law of casualty, you know.

 **(Ryuu)  
** _'Ca-u-sa-li-ty'_! You're missing an _'i'_ and you misplaced _'us'—_!

Anyhow.

The dream was short-lived, as a matter of course.

Not because I realized that marrying your own brother was apparently taboo (that actually only made it even more alluring to me), but because when we did grow up, Aniki rescued us.

Within a heartbeat, I had replaced Ryuu with Aniki.

That's right—I then planned to marry Aniki when the time was ready.

The only problem was that our age gap was too wide, and me being only eleven at the time—well, I was young, and Aniki was my hero, you know?

I don't believe it was legal for eleven year olds to get married back then.

 **(Ryuu)**  
Why are you phrasing that like it's been legitimized these days—?

Not to mention that my rival in love was none other than my role model.  
My idol and superstar.

But even with all that, I had come to terms that I must compete with Kouzuki-sensei.

I was determined not to give Aniki away without putting up a fight. I was going to win Aniki, despite the fierce contest I would have to put Kouzuki-sensei through!

That was how serious I had taken it.

I still lost. . . . .

This is all in the past, however.

I've since given Aniki up.

I'm seventeen now, I've grown out of all that and I have hi'd and bye'd into other guys' lives.

So rest assured, Ryuu, you'll always be my number one, until the day another worthy replacement comes along. _Ahaha~._

 _'Kukiko, I thought you hated heroes?',_ I can sense your innocent question, yet here I am talking about falling in love with my heroes, right?

Why, I'm glad you asked.

Yes.

Yes, I do hate them.

It's a novelty mutual to my brother and me.

I do hate heroes who try to take the world on their shoulders.

You see, that's too enormous of a picture for my tastes.  
Heroes who save the world are far too cliché.

There's no shortage of fairy tales about them.

Greece's Heracles.

Son Wukong of China and Yamato Takeru of Japan.

Sigurd and Beowulf of the Nordic regions.

Britain's King Arthur, and Karna the Hindu demigod (I knew how to say it correctly all along!).

And more recently, this 'Super-man' I keep reading in magazines from the Americas.

I've read all their stories, and I've loathed every single one of them.

They should all be left to where they rightfully belong—in the pages of books collecting dust in the libraries people seldom visit nowadays.

 **(Ryuu)  
** You read too much for your own good, _Nee-chan_...

. . . . .

Excuse me.

Ryuu keeps interrupting, so I'll have to shut him up somehow.  
I'll be back in a jiffy!

 **(Kukiko)  
** Not really— _you_ read too little.

 **(Ryuu)  
** You know I can't stand it like you do.  
I hate arriving at the story's end.

 _'That's your problem, not mine.'_

Now where was I—

I don't live in the pages of books collecting dust.

I live in the real world.

Where heroes don't have almighty powers that allow them to flatten their enemies singlehandedly.

Where heroes don't swoop in at the last second to your rescue.

Real world heroes tend to have the highest mortality and lowest survival rates.

I hate these fairy tales with a passion, for inspiring all the over-eager wannabes in my world who have ended up throwing their lives away...

Placing your life on the line for others isn't heroism.

That's cowardice!

The epitome of weakness!

Don't be a hero.

So what sets Ryuu and Aniki apart from all these fairy tales?

Now, I'm no damsel in distress, but when I do need help (for real, not just for play)—my brother and big brother Aniki wouldn't come to my rescue out of a virtuous sense of righting the wrongs of the world.

They're no Knights in Shining Armour.

They come for me because I'm me.

Because Fukui Ryuuseiu and Ichimonji Takahashi want to save Fukui Kukiko.

They're _my_ heroes, not the world's.

When all these legends from the tales of yore delivered their damned worlds, do you think it made villager number two feel significant? And would villager number three celebrate, _'They saved the world because I'm in it!'_?

Said legend wouldn't even know whom the hell villager number three was!

Do you think Corporal Ibrahim at the security gate gives a rat's ass when we're sent out on our top-secret missions for the sake of Alternative IV? (Okay, this might be a terrible example—he and Corporal Sota are too grateful it's almost revolting.)

But anyhow, like that ol' saying goes—when all is special, nothing is.

By this logic, I don't want to be some man in the cloud's villager number two.  
I want to be special enough to be rescued by villager number two.

I would sooner be wanted by one ordinary person in a population of a billion than be in a population of a billion protected by a superhuman figure beyond my reach.

To be wanted by, and special to, Mister Villager Number Two.

You might consider this my concept of romantic love, and I really have fallen for my brother and Aniki, my very own personal superheroes...

 _Ah!_ Wrong tense! Wrong tense!

That should be past tense! Not even past-perfect! Just plain past!

 _Ahem—_

 _Ahem._

 _. . . . ._

 _Mhh-hm._

Besides.

I don't fall for just anyone who catches me every time I stumble.  
That would imply that I'm too easy, you know?

But I'm an old fashioned girl.  
I fall for boys who are alive.

More specifically—boys who want to _stay_ alive.

Having confessed all that.

That's why I can't like you...

Takeru-oniichan...

They're _all_ special to you, aren't they...  
And because they all are—

. . . . .

I can't even finish the sentence.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Nee, nee,_ Ryuu.

 **(Ryuu)**  
Oh, I can talk now?

 **(Kukiko)**  
Let's play.

 **(Ryuu)  
** I thought we've been playing truant already?

 **(Kukiko)  
** The other one!

 _'What's the world like in their eyes,'_ is the name of the game.

I ask him, meanwhile resting my back further. On top of the steel rails, I cross both my arms and cradle my cheek in between.

Ryuu pushes himself off and spins around to take a peek at the targets I'm talking about.

 _'Their eyes, huh,'_ he squints for a closer look at Keru-oniichan and his fold, _'sure, why not.'_

The game is straightforward—we put ourselves in another person's shoes and attempt to see the world from their point of view.

It's our go-to when we need to kill some time.

The winning prize is a whopping amount of—!

Nothing.

We win a story, and an interesting story is prize enough for me.

 **(Ryuu)**  
That one.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Which one?

 _'Glasses, braided ponytails,'_ he notes.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Sakaki Chizuru.

 **(Ryuu)**  
I know.  
The PM's daughter.

 **(Kukiko)  
** She has a name, you know.

 **(Ryuu)  
** Anyhow—she's here to discover herself.

 _Whoaaa!_ Impressive!

That was profound, Ryuu!

You sounded hot as a meteor shower!

 **(Ryuu)  
** Alright, your turn.

 _'No can do,'_ I shake my head, _'I've been hanging around them a bit too much, it'd be cheating if you ask me.'_

 **(Ryuu)  
** Why you've been moonlighting with them is beyond me, but whatever...

 _'Eto, let's see,'_ he goes.

 **(Ryuu)**  
Her—the busty brunette.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Ayamine Kei-san?

 **(Ryuu)**  
Is that what her name is?  
Ayamine...? _Hmm._

Yes, Ayamine as in the late General's name.

But!

Oi! Kindly refrain from using size as a descriptor, _onegaishimasu_.

 **(Ryuu)**  
 _Hoh_ —who's jealous now.  
 _Kukuku~._

Ryuu chortles into his cupped fist.

But I mean it, double please! No sizes from here on in and out!

 **(Ryuu)**  
Anyhow, she's here to find herself.

 _Haaa—?!_ I see what you're doing, you rascal!

 **(Ryuu)**  
And the true-blue Mitsurugi.  
She is, you guessed it—finding her own path.

To some extent, he's not entirely _wrong_ , but this was supposed to be fun, you know! And right now, it isn't!

 **(Kukiko)**  
Okay wise-guy, though I've noticed that you're conveniently avoiding him—

 **(Ryuu)**  
But I'm not, _Nee-chan_.

Ryuu's playful grin vanishes.

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Ara?_

And expressionless lips take its place.

 **(Ryuu)**  
I see— _nothing_ —when I look at him.

 _'It's black as sin, whatever the fuck he's hiding.'_

Eyes filled with contempt, Ryuu stares daggers at the guy I had initially thought he was purposefully sidestepping.

At big brother Takeru, who right now looks to be straightening out Chizuru and her rifle at the shooting range.

Without taking his watch off of him, Ryuu hisses.

 **(Ryuu)**  
 _Onee-chan_ , I'm glad you look like you've been having a blast these last few days, but I don't get why you insist on mingling with 13.

 _'Look at him,'_ Ryuu scoffs, _'the way everyone acts around him—it's as though he were in the center of some grand story.'_

 **(Ryuu)**  
Yet—that gloomy look on his face, _tchhh._  
The fuck does he think he is?  
Some—crestfallen protagonist?  
Ungrateful prick—

 **(Kukiko)**  
 _Ahaha~._

 **(Ryuu)**  
Honest! It pisses me off, _Nee-chan_.

 _'I know what you mean,'_ I nod in agreement, _'I had the same impression at first, after all.'_

He pissed me off like you wouldn't believe, is what I mean precisely.

However, much as I don't want to admit.

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm a sideline character instead of my own story's protagonist. I feel as though the world revolves around Keru-oniichan, and I'm merely an outsider.

Does that make any sense? I don't know of another way to put this bizarre feeling into words, though.

In a way, I suppose being an outsider allows me to observe him in an objective light, or maybe act outside the bounds of his story, in case that were really the case?

I'm just spit-balling all this, by the by.

But it truly does diminish my sense of self-existence...

At any rate, to hook right back onto Ryuu's own observation of Keru-oniichan—

 **(Kukiko)  
** Is that what it looks like to you?

 _'Come on! He doesn't look that down!'_

Look closer! He's not frowning, I think?

 **(Ryuu)  
** That's a weak way of gauging it, _Onee-chan_...

I've worked so hard on him, you know! Don't make it as if my drawn-out uphill battle against him has nothing to show!

Although I guess, since Ryuu hasn't been around him as much as I have, the subtle differences in Keru-oniichan aren't as blatant to him like they are to me.

Just because he looks crestfallen doesn't mean he is, you know?

 **(Ryuu)  
** You're making no sense, _bakaniki_...  
You just don't want to admit you're wasting your time on him.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Urusai!_

I kick dirt at Ryuu.

I'm not just being defensive, I swear!

Anyhow, in that case—

 **(Kukiko)** _  
_But wouldn't that be a beautiful thing then?

 **(Ryuu)**  
 _Are?_ Not sure I follow.

 **(Kukiko)**  
Like you said, silly.  
Doesn't he look handsome in his melancholy?

 **(Ryuu)**  
You sadist...

As I stay my gaze on Keru-oniichan and the rest of 207-B scuffling about, Ryuu raises an eyebrow at me.

There had been some truth to what I said.

I do think he looked more handsome at the peak of his misery, when the stench of death still hung high over his head. Which of course means that I do somewhat regret our rendezvous last week.

He looked like some dark villain on a mission for world domination.  
A black knight on a quest to rid the knight-errants of the kingdom.

Just the thought of it is so exhilarating!

Had I known this is what lied underneath—I wish I could turn back the clock and undo what I had done!

Now he's plain boring, neither black nor white, just grey somewhere in the middle.  
Go ahead and find me someone whose favourite colour is grey.

I'll wait.

Oh well—nevertheless, the fact remains that he was better-looking when he was brooding.

Don't give me that, Ryuu. You started it, you know.

And I was agreeing with you, _sheesh!_

I disagree with you, you complain.  
I agree with you, you complain.

Can't win with this guy, I swear.

 **(Ryuu)  
** You're at it again, _Onee-chan_.

 _'I've never been able to understand your obsession with broken things,'_ Ryuu rolls his eyes.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Just as I don't understand why you enjoy watching people struggle.

I counter.

Though I've since dismissed it as being akin to how some people like mustard and some people don't.

To each their own.

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Meh.  
_ You'll end up hurting yourself again, and again and again, like you've always done several, several times.

 _'Have you forgotten how long you moped over Nagamichi?'_

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Shut the fuck up, Ryuu._

I snap back, rather too threateningly.

Don't cross that line...

Second Lt. Nagamichi Sakuya, our late fellow Dellingr.  
One of the last of 'us', apart from us.

He was in my Element during Operation Lucifer, and we had both been able to escape in the nick of time when the emergency evacuation order was deployed, though he might as well have been left behind.

He never came home.

He lost.

Everything.

In Yokohama Hive.

And in losing it all, _he lost it_.

I don't think anyone else caught wind, not even my twin brother.

No one knew any better, because after all, Nagamichi acted perfectly normal.

But I have a nose for the theatrical, and thus, I saw through his farce.

I saw through it, and yet, I did—nothing.

I sat back and watched, expecting everything to correct itself as the circle of life moves onward.

. . . . .

Nagamichi Sakuya-kun took his own life on New Year's day, though to me, he had been dead since Lucifer, so my shock was nothing compared to everyone else's.

While it hadn't shocked me, I did grieve for what I could've done yet didn't do.

We all thought we knew him, you know, but at the end of the day, I guess Sakuya-kun had only been showing us the side of him that he wanted us to see.

And.

Sakuya-kun wasn't unique for that matter.

When all is said and done—aren't we all wearing masks in the theater of life? Perhaps not on our faces, per se, but definitely over our minds and hearts.

I'm no exception... as honest and forward as I strive to be...

 **(Ryuu)  
** That's fine and all, but I was talking more about those books you always read.

 **(Kukiko)  
** You're full of shit.  
You explicitly mentioned his name.

 **(Ryuu)  
** Oh, I suppose I did. My bad.  
You're getting too emotional, though.  
You've even started cussing again.  
I don't know if you've noticed, _Nee-chan_.  
That you've been watching your language these days.

Have I now?

 **(Ryuu)  
** I like it better this way.

 _'If one of us has to get our tongues dirty, I'd rather it be just me.'_

 **(Ryuu)**  
So let's not tarnish your record, shall we?

Have I really?

Huh.

Keru-oniichan did say cussing wasn't very lady-like.

I must've unconsciously let it get under my skin...

 _'Anyhow,'_ interjects my brother.

 **(Ryuu)  
** You always get yourself too engrossed in your reading, and when the story comes to its end, you sulk about it for a day or two, complaining that you had read it too quickly.

 _'But then you'd pick up another book right after and go through the same cycle of regret.'_

 **(Ryuu)  
** Not only are you a sadist.  
My sister is a masochist!

 **(Kukiko)  
** I think the real moral is that I pick myself up after I'm down?

 **(Ryuu)  
** You don't sound so sure of that yourself.

 _'What do you want me to do, not read altogether like you do?',_ I argue.

 **(Ryuu)  
** That is an option, whether you like it or not.

 **(Kukiko)  
** By the way, Ryuu—

 _'Could we retrace to a few pages ago? To the game we were playing?'_

Because I only just realized what you'd said about Keru-oniichan, so I must hear it again.

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Nothing?_

Yeah—that.

He sees nothing, apparently.

In Takeru.

That is cause for _serious_ concern!

Why didn't you speak up sooner, Ryuu?!

 **(Ryuu)  
** To be frank? I didn't care.

I should probably explain why.

Or I shouldn't?

 _Mm_ , we have enough time before we need to get back; I guess I'll spare a minute or six.

* * *

The thing is, Ryuu has something Kouzuki-sensei needs, else she wouldn't have kidnapped us in the first place.

And it's something only Ryuu has.  
I do not.

And.

And, while I'm not well-versed in the minutiae.

It has something to do with Ryuu's preternatural perceptive capacities.  
My keen observant trait is dwarfed when placed side by side the real deal.

Ryuu possesses what I have, and so much more.  
I'm merely a pale imitation when it comes down to it.

Believe it or not.

My twin brother, Fukui Ryuuseiu— _can see the future_.  
Or perhaps 'glimpse' would be more appropriate.

Kouzuki-sensei had said so herself.

And Ryuu himself says so.

Although, unlike my own subpar observation skills, Ryuu's future sight is no gift, no.

It is precisely because of this accursed 'gift' of his that he is a prime candidate for Kouzuki-sensei's experiment.

An experiment to win this crusade against the aliens—I bet would have something to do with being able to guide us to the most favourable course of history. And from what I've gathered all these years, and based on the secretive past of the project, prime candidates of Alternative—are destined for damnation.

Damned for destruction.

And I'll be damned if I let any misfortune befall my only brother.

Ryuu had drawn the short end of the stick at our moment of birth, when it could've just as well have been me.

I've had a gut instinct that all the other hostages of the Professor's Special Task Force suffer under the same curse, whether they are aware of it or not.

As a matter of fact, sensei had tentatively declared that Ryuu is the solitary candidate self-aware of his gift/curse. So much so that if push comes to shove, _'He'll be the first to go,'_ whatever she may have meant by that.

Be that as it may, Kouzuki-sensei _needs_ my Ryuu-nii.

Of that much I am positively convinced.

Which leads me to my terminal reason for agreeing to play puppet for the Adjutant Commander. Though on second thought, this is beside the point—my own reasons bear no weight to the bigger picture.

What is of import is what Ryuu had said.

 _'Nothing.'_

If I may elaborate—

Ryuu can take one glance at anyone, perceive their life story, and foresee their ultimate fate. Not the entire thing, obviously.

Only the essence of it.

He wouldn't care what you would have for lunch on a Tuesday years in the future, for example (if you're still alive that many years from now, that is).

 _'A still-motion picture of the main highlights,'_ is how he described it to me.

Naturally, it is a quick-occurring episode.  
It goes as instantly as it comes.

So Ryuu has to react equally as swiftly.

If I remember right, Kouzuki-sensei had also mentioned some comparable occupation, but my memory is conveniently slipping me at the moment.

Hence, like when we played the game on 207-B a while back—he wasn't just being a smart-ass by using fortune-teller tricks (that was it! _'Fortune-tellers and gypsies'_ were sensei's comparisons. Incidentally, this might be the only occasion sensei had described an issue without any root in scientific reasoning, though I can't deny that she may have also been keeping us in the dark).

(P.S.: I have tried reading sensei's paper on Quantic Causality Theorem, but reading and understanding are apparently two different things, I've found out.)

(P.P.S.: I had to practically pry this all out of sensei. It's not like she readily divulged this information. I had to be shrewd and patient about my years-long sleuthing.)

As I was saying—Ryuu was being considerate to me, like he always is.

He usually keeps what he finds out to himself, so if you _really really_ want the specifics, you'd have to ask him in the _most_ specific way.

(I never ask. Life wouldn't be as exciting, and we all arrive at the same ending anyhow. Further, it takes a heavy toll on Ryuu.)

And seeing _'nothing'_ in Shirogane Takeru can be likened to a mystery of the universe.  
Dark matter, or the Big Bang, among many others.

It's a first—for my brother and me, so of course I should investigate.

What the hell could that mean, seriously...

 _It's dark_ , said Ryuu.

I wonder what would cause Ryuu's foresight to be blinded like that.

Is it a case of a big fish getting eaten by an even larger fish?  
A human-eating monster, running into a monster-eating predator?

 _Hmm._

I've had that sensation in the pit of my stomach since the beginning, but to have Ryuu as supporting evidence only raises my already rising suspicions.

If it has something to do with Keru-oniichan's backstory—unfortunately, I've had little luck in that regard.

He hasn't budged no matter what clever approach I use.

And I've been unyielding about it.

We still all gather in the graveyard at dusk, but we haven't had a productive night since the night we swapped weapons and he caught me in my trust fall.

Ryuu flat out ignores him, though he treats Ryuu the same, which is funny in a weird way.

He and Aniki would sometimes talk idle talk, you would almost think they were former accomplices in a past life.

Oh—and Mitsurugi Meiya-san still sneaks her way out there, by the way.

She sure is strange.

Not sure if Keru-oniichan has noticed her yet.

Aniki certainly has (Ryuu had to point it out for him though).

It actually calms Aniki down, knowing that his charge is within a stone's throw away. It also upsets him, knowing that his charge is within a stone's throw away...

I think she might simply be trying to get as near as she can to Onii-chan.

Although, what her end goal might be—I haven't a singular clue.

I'm an observer, not a mind-reader, _capiche?_

Anyhow—perhaps I should save the issue for sensei whenever she gets the chance to see me again. She allots, on average, thirty minutes in the early mornings for me, but for the remainder of the day, she's said that I better not disturb her unless Earth were about to fall.

She'd be able to figure this out, though, without a doubt.

 **(Ryuu)  
** Why 13, _Nee-chan?_

My brother, his voice more soothing this time around, reiterates his question.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Unlike you, I'm not afraid of the dark, Ryuu—

 **(Ryuu)  
** No bullshits—why him?

Ryuu sighs a heavy sigh and mimics my body position. That is to say—he's raised his left palm and lazed his cheek on top of it.

I must also admit that that was a weak wisecrack on my end, but c'mon!  
He pretty much set it up himself, right?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Why are you suddenly so interested in what I'm up to?

 **(Ryuu)  
** I dunno. Maybe I'd be more motivated if I understand the world the way you do.

Oi—don't spit out foreboding stuff like that!

Honestly! We're not going anywhere, alright!  
I'll always be here for you, Ryuuseiu.

 **(Kukiko)  
** I dunno either.

 _'But, you know what—I've a weird feeling that Keru-oniichan might change our lives.'_

 **(Ryuu)  
** That's hella vague, _Nee-chan_.

Yeah, it is.

Another of my hunches that's difficult to find the proper words for.

 **(Ryuu)  
** What're you counting that on?

 **(Kukiko)  
** Intuition, I guess.

Fair question.

If Ryuu sees nothing in him, how the hell would I know any better, right?

Don't ask me any further, though.  
I frankly have nothing more to go on than my intuition.

No future sight, no soothsay, no premonition.  
No quantic abilities (or however you pronounce it) like those of A-01.

Just good ol' fashioned Fukui Kukiko's intuition.

Although I must say, that plain ol' me has relied on that to stay alive until today.  
And as you can probably tell, I'm still alive, aren't I?

So—make of that what you will.

For better or for worse.  
Whether he makes it or breaks.

My link to big brother Takeru might change our lives, Ryuuseiu.

He might be the puzzle piece that we've been looking for.

The key that will free us from this life of imprisonment...

 **(Ryuu)  
** Do you really think that, _Nee-chan?_

I only nod as a reply.

 _'Hmmmh,'_ Ryuu draws a deep breath in, then exhales it all out.

 **(Ryuu)  
** Wait right here.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Huh?_ Where are you—?

But Ryuu asserts that I stay put where I am.

 **(Ryuu)  
** I won't take long.  
Promise.

Walking at a brisk pace, Ryuu turns the corridor and disappears.

That's the same corner as the staircase, coincidentally.

Bathroom break, maybe?

 _*sigh*_

 _'Why him, though.'_  
Honestly, Fukui Kukiko?

. . . . .

I brought this on myself...

What started out as a whim of mine.

To tickle my fancy, as you might say.

But now that I've spent a bunch of my free time with Keru-oniichan and his merry band of friends, I feel as though I've been missing out on a lot in life.

I've found out that there's a life outside of the only one I've ever known of.

And it is—fun...?

I just want to live a normal life, you know...  
Like the ones I read about in fictional storybooks...

Not this fucked up life of imprisonment—where my captor is the woman I look up to, of all people.  
Not this life filled with the constant fear of not knowing whether I live or die tomorrow.

What's it like to attend a school?  
What's it like to have a part-time job?  
To marry? To have my own children?

To die a natural death at a ripe, old age?

That would be my happy ending...

. . . . .

Ryuu...

Maybe I really do read too much for my own good...  
Ignorance is blitz—I mean, bliss, yeah?

I suppose I could just not read altogether, like you do...

But.

That's right.

Above all else—more than my own.

I just want my Ryuu-nii to be happy...

I want him—to be free.

So my hands are tied to this fucked up way of life for the time being— _I must show Kouzuki-sensei what I had promised her I'd do_.

Only then can I buy Ryuu-nii's freedom.

Keru-oniichan.

Takeru...oniichan...

I think—he can change our lives.

It's a shot in the dark, really.

And though Ryuuseiu is unable to peer into the fate that lies ahead of him, this is what I truly intuit out of big brother Takeru.

 **(Kukiko)  
** _Ara?_

 _Huh?_

That figure down there very much looks like Ryuu running across the practice field to where Keru-oniichan is standing.

And it very much looks like Ryuu just patted him on the shoulder to grab his full attention.

And it very much looks like they're discussing something interesting, even while his squadmates are listening in on their dialogue.

And Takeru-oniichan now has a very pissed look on his face, while Ryuu is strutting his way back.

 _Thump thump, thump thump._

From the field to the first landing.

From the stairs to the second.

From the second to the railings.

Ryuu is now beside me, mischief all around him.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Are you gonna tell me what just happened, or?

I begin.

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Nee_ , do you remember when we were kids and you found that cocoon at the bushes just outside home?

 **(Kukiko)  
** I—yeah, I remember...

I kinda see where this is going...?

 **(Ryuu)  
** You felt so bad for it, watching it wriggle its way out of there, remember?  
That caterpillar turning into a butterfly?

I... remember...

 **(Ryuu)  
** You ran indoors all of a sudden and asked _kaasan_ for a pair of scissors.  
 _Tousan_ asked me to find out what you were up to.  
And I was curious anyhow, so I followed—

 _'I caught you in the act—you snipped the tip of the cocoon in the middle of its metamorphosis.'_

 **(Kukiko)  
** I was only trying to help it—!

It didn't die, but...

 **(Ryuu)  
** That was the ugliest looking butterfly I had ever seen.  
And you forever doomed it to stay on the ground, never able to use its wings.

It might as well have died...

I learned—much, much, much later on—that the butterfly's struggle out of its chrysalis is quintessential to its transformation so that it may eject its excess blood and body fluids, thereby giving shape to its beautiful wings.

Believing I was only doing what was right by putting an end to its strife, I had robbed it of its life...

 **(Kukiko)  
** What does that have to do with _Onii-chan_ , Ryuu?

Surely you just hadn't wanted to remind me of an embarrassingly painful memory?

Ryuu holds my shoulders, as though to reassure me.

 **(Ryuu)  
** You said he could change our lives, right?  
Well, I believe you, _Nee-chan_ , so I'm taking a few extra steps ahead.

 _'The surefire way to catching a butterfly—is by snipping it before its wings could take flight,'_ confides my brother.

 **(Ryuu)  
** In other words, I challenged him—

He nods in the direction of 207-B.

 **(Ryuu)  
** —to a mock battle.

 _'If he makes it, then we'd get a good chance to see if you're right about him. If he breaks—well, he'd just be another grounded butterfly. A caterpillar without wings. Just like Narumi-san.'_

Anego would've whooped your ass had she heard you say that...  
And don't even get me started on what Mum would do.

But—what an ugly image.  
Ryuu using my past shortcomings to ensnare for himself his own butterfly.

 _Ughh._

I've no right to apprehend him, though...  
He's doing this for me...

 **(Kukiko)  
** Pray tell, Ryuuseiu.  
How does a mock battle solve that for us?

 **(Ryuu)  
** Easy, _Kiko-neechan_.

 _I'll take care of that,_ puffs my twin.

 **(Ryuu)  
** I'll take him to the brink of his breaking point and test the measure of his resolve.  
And either he finds it—or I break him before he does.  
A contest of wills, if you will.

 **(Kukiko)  
**. . .

And you called _me_ a sadist...

Though admittedly, I do like the proposal.

A shock treatment—on Takeru-oniichan.

Forget a few extra steps ahead, Ryuu is taking a shortcut to our destination!

 _'Aha...ha?',_ I weakly laugh on the inside.  
If Ryuu hadn't come up with this, I eventually would've anyhow.

It's as expected.

We're twins.  
We board the same trains of thought.

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Onee-chan,_ I don't enjoy watching _people toil_.  
I enjoy _watching them toil_.

He suddenly points out, possibly in an attempt to remedy my earlier accusation.

Italicizing different words of the exact same sentence?  
What's with the nuance, brother?

 _'Think about it,'_ invites Ryuu.

 **(Ryuu)  
** Had you simply observed that cocoon without lifting a finger for a few more days, you would've witnessed a beautiful metamorphosis, not that abortion you made me watch with you.

Let me get this straight.

 **(Kukiko)  
** You don't enjoy watching people suffer—

 _'But rather, you enjoy the transformation they go through?',_ I finish as I snatch back the headband Ryuu had sneakily swiped from my hair moments ago.

 _Hmph!_ It's all oily now...

 **(Ryuu)  
** Exactly.  
It's the same as enjoying watching the sun rise, no?  
Or the sun set, yeah?  
Metamorphosis, change, growth—is like a law of life, you know?

 _'However—humans are naturally resistant to change. We even fear it, in fact.'_

You sound eerily like Motoko-sensei, Ryuu...

 **(Ryuu)  
** But that doesn't mean we're incapable of transformation.  
It's simply a matter of finding where our 'switch' is, and flicking it the other way.

 _'Interestingly enough, pain and suffering are quite the catalysts. Aren't you interested in finding out what 13 would do if I were to shove him off the summit?'_

Somehow, I get the strange feeling that I've been wrong about Ryuu not noticing Sakuya-kun...

 **(Ryuu)  
** Although—you know, some caterpillars actually die in the process, _Nee-chan_.

 _'That, too, is a sight to behold,'_ he lets out a hearty chuckle.

 _Arkh!_ Your allegories are getting off the rails, Ryuu! Are we still talking about Keru-oniichan? Or—butterflies? Or have I boarded an entirely separate train of thought?!

Actually, trains are out of the picture by now.  
Our modes of transportation are totally different to begin with!

I've caught the bus while Ryuu is taking the bike!

I should redact what I had said about us being twins on the same boat.  
Or I should at least place a disclaimer in case lawyers get involved.

 **(Ryuu)  
** I'm agreeing with you, _bakaniki_.

 _'I disagree with you, you complain.  
I agree with you, you complain.  
There's no winning with you, I swear.'_

 **(Ryuu)  
** Look—13 might very well be able to change our lives, _Nee-chan_. But I don't think he can do anything right now, not while he remains the way he is, alright?

Well, thanks for the tip, Ryuu. I think?  
I sorta think I sorta get what you're trying to say and do... sorta...

Now to the final subject matter that's been nagging me.

 **(Kukiko)  
** Ryuu, how'd you get him to agree to sim practice?

I spent a lot of time and effort last week on a similar endeavour (although my purposes hadn't been as perverse, I simply wanted to challenge myself against the creator of the XM3. Honest!).

And here, Ryuu had accomplished it in one take!

What the hell, Shirogane Takeru?!

 **(Ryuu)  
** Oh, that part.

 _'I threatened him, is all.'_

 **(Kukiko)**  
Really? That's it?  
But—what kind of threat did it take?

I tried every threat in my repertoire, and nothing had worked!

 _Urk! Oops!_

No! I didn't threaten him! Strikethrough! Strikethrough that last bit!

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Eto, uhhm..._

 _'When I was sure they were all listening, I swore out loud,'_ explains my brother. Them—referring to Chizuru, Meiya, Mikoto, Kei, and Miki.

 **(Ryuu)  
** If you don't show up, I'll tell them your secret.  
 _All of it._

Taking a page out of the Kouzuki family playbook and gaining leverage, I see.

Although—

His secret?

But Ryuu, I thought you'd said that you've seen nothing but darkness in him?  
You don't know his secret, do you?

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Hah.  
_ He doesn't know that though, does he?

 _'Or maybe—maybe, Onee-chan, I do know it after all?'_

* * *

 _Author's Note:_

 _About the word 'bakaniki'—I'm not sure if it's a real word in Japanese, but I like the way it rolls off the tongue. It's a mash of 'baka' and 'aniki,' so it could either mean 'stupid brother' or 'stupid sister' depending on the context._

 _Senjutsuki is the Japanese counterpart of TSF._


	27. Call to Arms

_Author's Note:_

 _Events, as told, are not necessarily in chronological order._

* * *

 **Chapter 27 – Call to Arms**

* * *

 **Michiru**

* * *

 **(Michiru)**  
A BETA invasion?  
From Sado island, across the sea?

Many questions come to mind for which I could direct at the Professor.

I voice out only the most concerning one. Namely, that forecasting the onset of a BETA assault is no small feat, what with our inability to decipher their methods.

Though I've learned not to enquire too much when it comes to Kouzuki-hakase (except when it'd be worth her while, that is), this particular question came out of surprise, even to me, hence it escaped my tongue.

Unless...

Has she perhaps made a breakthrough in communicating with the aliens?

What a breakthrough that would be—

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)  
** My sources are well-founded.  
A brigade sized herd will surface from the sea of Japan around 0600 hours on this date, and I need you and your company to fetch me some BETA specimens.

I bite the back of my lips to prevent myself from casting doubt on these sources of hers.

 **(Michiru)**  
Understood, Ma'am.  
A-01 shall capture and retrieve BETA samples—

Accepting my newly-assigned mission, I recite and acknowledge Kouzuki-hakase.

Well—I try to, at any rate. She butts in before I get to finish.

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)**  
 _Live_ —BETA samples.

As if the retrieval of _corpses_ wasn't suicidal enough— _'Alive,'_ stresses the Adjutant Commander.

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)**  
Repeat your objective, Isumi.

 _Nnhh,_ I gulp in secret.

 **(Michiru)**  
Special Task Force A-01 shall capture and retrieve _live_ BETA samples.  
If I may, Ma'am—

 _'How many samples do you require from us?'_ I urge her for details.

Before she replies, she flaps the tails of her lab coat with one hand, while her other hand does the same for her hair.

 _'Hmph,'_ she pronounces her irritation further.

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)**  
As many as you possibly can.  
More is always better.  
There's no satisfying my older sister.

Oh? Is Dr. Motoko the true mastermind behind this mission?

The Professor doesn't give me a chance to consider.

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)**  
Your TSFs will be armed with a medical prescription concocted by her and her team,  
fitted into pellets for the Type-87s, of which an ample supply shall be provided to all units involved.

 _'They contain a sedative strong enough to take down a blue whale, or so I've been told.'_

The Professor closes her eyes in thought at the conclusion of her briefing.

'Or so I've been told' doesn't sound too promising, if you ask me.

Shortly after, her eyes open wide once again to reveal her fiery irises.

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)**  
It should go without saying, Isumi, that there've been no experiments conducted to verify the potency of these sedatives.

 _Ah._

Why of course, in the absence of _live_ BETA samples, there's no telling whether the prescription works or not.

And—be it the largest known animal or not.

A whale is a whale, and a BETA is a BETA.  
The efficacy of the sedative isn't a matter of _size_ , but rather, of _biology_.

This operation _is_ the field experiment, and _we_ are the guinea pigs (as opposed to the BETA, as they would have us believe).

 **(Michiru)**  
Our rules of engagement?

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)**  
Ground forces shall accompany you.  
Together, you are to meet and corner the remnants of the BETA brigade at _this_ location.

She raises a stern finger to the projected map on the drawing board.

The finger lands at a point in between—  
Between Nagano and Gunma prefectures?

Are we expecting them to breach the Final Defense Line?

And need I mention that—even for the Professor, pinpointing the _route_ of a hypothetical BETA attack is too exact to be mere conjecture, I don't care whom her sources are—unless it were God itself, in which case I probably should be concerned.

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)  
** I imagine Atsugi Base would react by heading north for Maebashi, though by my calculus, they wouldn't make it in time without fair warning.  
 _Hmm._ Even so, that would pose a problem...

Judging by her self-contemplations, she has no plans of issuing said 'fair warning' to our UN counterparts, making apparent to me the covert proclivities of this mission.

 **(Michiru)  
** I suggest we lay the trap in Karuizawa, just outside the border.

Heeding her advice, I specify the abandoned town of Karuizawa as the battlegrounds.

N–no.

First off—wait a short minute.  
Something's out of the ordinary.

According to Kouzuki-hakase, what's left of the BETA forces would head south after regrouping at Mt. Hakkai. Yet, if they were to truly advance southward, they'd no doubt come across Atsugi's Armoured Battalion at Maebashi eventually—

What convenient circumstances would prompt them into taking a detour midway through Gunma and head for the perimeter of Nagano instead?

Mind you—while it would be awfully (and _'awfully'_ ) fortunate for us (and not Atsugi) that they do end up in the direction of Karuizawa, something tells me that there is more to this operation than I am privy to.

Although, in truth, fortune would lie with Atsugi, and not us...

For as long as I've served in the line of duty, I've never been spared the luxury of 'convenience.' And though I've decided not to pursue the thought, I can't help but show mild concern.

Notwithstanding, I attempt to follow through with my initial suggestion and offer the Professor my strategy in mind, but before I get the chance to, I'm stopped short by the opening of the office doors, and the emergence of First Lt. Piatiff.

 **(Lt. Piatiff)  
** Pardon the intrusion, Ma'am.  
 _Err._ Your _—_

She hesitates upon contact with my gaze, but immediately returns her attention to the Professor, who had been goading her to make haste regardless of my presence here.

 **(Lt. Piatiff)  
** The Maj. General of the 21st is on Line 2 for you, Ma'am.

 _'I'll get to her when I'm ready,'_ Kouzuki-hakase responds with a terse nod, at which Piatiff receives with a salute prior to her parting.

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)  
** Save it, Isumi.  
I leave the intricacies to you and your company.

 _'As you can tell, I am rather preoccupied.'_

 **(Michiru)  
** Very well, Ma'am.

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)**  
In any event, the army shall bear responsibility for the capture equipment.  
And be discreet about your ammunition. I wouldn't count on the formula to work immediately, so give it a few minutes to fully take effect.

 _'And should it fail to have any effect?'_ I hazard the query.

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)**  
 _Tchh..._

She ponders a moment, turning to her left and stroking her chin in the meanwhile.

Still in that position, she throws me a sidelong glance, and her already sharp eyes appear even sharper...

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)**  
Improvise.  
Find another means of capture.

 _'Carry it out—or die trying,'_ in plainer words.

 **(Prof. Kouzuki)**  
Any questions?

Too, too many, in fact.

 **(Michiru)**  
Just one.

Though I can only afford one.

A mission with little chance of success calls for my one and only question worth the while of the Adjutant Commander.

 **(Michiru)**  
For Operation Marshall Trap—  
May I request the attendance of the flight cadet.  
Shirogane Takeru.

* * *

Wasting no time, I find myself confronting Shirogane no sooner than I'd left the Professor's offices.

He was where the Professor said he'd be—right outside, would you believe.

By the looks of the situation, he must've been close by all along, for me to run into him almost on cue upon ending my briefing with Kouzuki-hakase.

Would he perhaps have the security clearance to access one of these adjacent atriums?

 **(Michiru)  
** Shirogane—

 **(Shirogane)  
** Good evening, Isumi-san. **  
**I've been paged by the Professor.

 _Ah._

It would appear that it was merely coincidental that we've run into each other at the same time.

Coincidental, or—opportune, huh, Professor?

 **(Michiru)  
** Evening to you too.  
Have you a moment to spare?

On second thought, I'd best get directly to the point, as he may not have anything to spare to begin with.

So, in the middle of his answer, I sharply interrupt and state my business.

 **(Michiru)  
** Is your offer still on the table?

 **(Shirogane)  
** My offer? Of what?  
I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, Captain.

 _'If I'm ever short on Eishi for a mission, you said I could always count on you,'_ I remind him.

 **(Shirogane)  
** O–oh, that.

In his face is the expression of realization.

 **(Michiru)  
** Well, soldier? Does your offer still stand?

I take a deep breath, as does he.

 _Tick._

 _Tock._

Goes the clock in my head.

 _Lub._

 _Dub._

Pulsates my tense heart.

The concept of time warps around me as I await the soldier's rejoinder.

 _Tick—_

* * *

 **Meiya**

* * *

It is a dream that has frequented me more often in recent days.

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Kaa-sama,_ what're you looking at?

 **(Meiya)  
** _Ah,_ why...  
I was just looking at our homeworld.

 **(? ? ?)  
** W–what's a homeworld?

Her hair.

Stroking it delicately, it reminds me much of mine own.

 **(Meiya)  
** It is the world wherein one was born and raised.

 _'Can you see that bright star right up there?'_ I guide the young one's eyes with the point of a finger.

 **(? ? ?)  
** I can! I can see it! Is that your homeworld, _Kaa-sama?_

 _Mother,_ she calls me.

My daughter—she must be.

 **(Meiya)  
** There is a planet called 'Earth' near that star.  
That is your mother's homeworld.

 _'Earth?'_ she echoes with innocence.

 **(Meiya)  
** Yes.  
We can all live happily on this planet because your father is fighting hard on Earth.

Her—father...?

 **(? ? ?)  
** When's _Tou-sama_ coming home?

 **(Meiya)  
** Perhaps someday... you will be able to meet him.

Her father...

Who might he be...

 **(? ? ?)  
** Is he going to keep fighting until then?

 **(Meiya)**  
Your father will continue to fight hard for you, mother, and everyone else...

 _'I hope we can see him soon,'_ she nuzzles next to my hip and wraps my arm around her slender shoulders.

 **(Meiya)**  
Indeed.

You and I share the same wish, my dear little one.

 **(Meiya)**  
Now, we should be going.  
You would not want to catch a cold.

 **(? ? ?)**  
Okay!  
Bye-bye! _Tou-sama!_

Huh?

That turn of phrase lacks an essential element.

 **(Meiya)  
** You wish to meet your father, do you not?

 **(? ? ?)  
** Yes! I want to!

In that case.

 **(Meiya)  
** Do not say bye. You must say, 'See you later.'

I learned that myself, from one whom I keep close to mine heart.

 **(? ? ?)  
** See you... later?

 **(Meiya)  
** Yes. See you later...

 **(? ? ?)  
** Okay, I got it!  
 _Touuu-sama!_

 _'See you laaater!'_ she yells at the top of her lungs into the night star.

As we walk back home—

 **(Meiya)  
** Come closer, love.

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Nghh~!  
Kaa-sama!_ Gross!

My daughter protests as I smother her with kisses.

Ah.

My young Yuuhi...

The living memory of _aneue,_ and proof of _his_ love for me...

You have inherited the spirit of your father.

Of—

* * *

 **(? ? ?)  
** Mitsurugi-san.

 **(Meiya)  
** Y–yes?

I lift mine eyes away from my meal toward Shirogane.  
Or at the very least—to where he had been sitting until moments ago.

Other than him, it is the affable Tamase Miki who addresses me with this formality. So, I lean forward to look past Sakaki and direct my notice to Tamase.

 **(Tamase)  
** We're all waiting for you.

She hints at my unfinished meal.

 **(Yoroi)  
** Will you hurry up, Meiya-san!  
We'll miss our chance if you dally any longer!

 **(Sakaki)  
** I hate to sound like a broken record, Mitsurugi.  
But we really might miss our window if we don't trail him shortly.

And to corroborate their urgency, Ayamine Kei picks up her tray and makes for the exit. Everyone but Tamase follows suit, so I hastily consume what remains of my meal and pursue them, maintaining a short distance behind.

 **(Tamase)  
** Do you think this plan would work, Mitsurugi-san?

Tamase queries as she shows up at my left, her shorter legs keeping up with my stride.

 **(Meiya)  
** Sakaki sounded confident.

 _'It all hinges on whom we run into,'_ I attempt to assure her.

 **(Tamase)  
** I guess you're right.  
That's one big 'if' though.  
If we run into them, I mean.

 _'It's been a while since I've last seen her,'_ smiles Tamase.

 **(Meiya)  
** Is that so?  
I have happened by Majima and Takada on occasion.

 _'Though they disappear by the time I realize it is them.'_

 **(Tamase)  
** Really?! You have?

I speak of our former colleagues from our training company, Second Lieutenants Majima Takahara and Takada Asakura, a warm pair since back when. Takada, in particular, had been on friendly terms with Tamase up to the day they graduated, although it would appear that they have been on a hiatus from then on.

Tamase tousles the back of her head.

 **(Tamase)  
** In any event, Mitsurugi-san.  
I thought you said you had no interest in Takeru-san's bout this evening.

 _'What made you change your mind?'_ she pries.

 **(Meiya)  
** I...

Truth be told—my mind was never changed.

I had been curious from the moment the unfamiliar boy (who bears an odd semblance to Fukui Kukiko, by the by) convincingly mentioned a 'secret' of Shirogane's. And had I not heard of Sakaki's plot to witness their contest, I would have been finding my own means, even if I had to venture alone.

Admittedly, her plan seemed more sound than mine.

 **(Meiya)  
** I...

I cannot give you a straight answer, Tamase.

Perhaps I am hoping to discover my answer by learning more about Shirogane, hence I have been shadowing him every chance I come by. This instance is no different.

Everything surrounding him truly is an anomaly.

I have mustered several, several puzzling questions I would like to ask of him.

I would like... to hear the truth... directly from Shirogane's lips...

How...ever...

I had asked him never to speak to me...  
And regrettably—he has not been defiant in that...

I have learned nothing of import from his mysterious gatherings outside Yokohama grounds alongside Takahashi, Fukui, and that unfamiliar lieutenant. Shirogane is scarce and cautious with his words, but...

These evanescent reveries...

Simply being near him.

Little by little.

I am slowly realizing why I, Mitsurugi Meiya, fell in love with Shirogane Takeru...

A promise—incepted in a playground whilst we were young, fulfilled in our youth before the wedding bells had rung. Turned into a man hell-bent on delivering the Earth, yet he never shunned me, treated me like I was of worth—overlooking my position wrought upon by my royal birth.

I fell for such a man.

Madly.

Hopelessly.

In love with him.

And... yet...

Why does my love forsake me?

Why does my love point his gun at me?

. . .

I have become much too infatuated with these fancies, have I not...

Though it cannot be said that I have been neglecting my obligations, I suppose. I very well might be able to stand toe to toe against Tsukuyomi in my current condition.

Perhaps I could ask her to spar with me another time, should circumstance permit.

Besides—the Mitsurugi Meiya I dream of is not the Mitsurugi Meiya who is me.

She may look as I do, posture as I do, and speak as I do, but ultimately—I am not she, nor is she me, therefore these welling emotions I have been experiencing have naught to do with my present self.

Shirogane himself had declared it to be so: that these feelings I think I have, _are not mine own,_ quote for dire quote—

Tamase's sudden giggle rears my attention back to her.

 **(Tamase)  
** Sorry, I'm sorry.  
I didn't mean to make it too personal.

 **(Meiya)  
** 'Twas an honest question, Tamase.

 _Tsk._

It had been my fault for biding too long to think of something to say, in fact, elsewise there would have been no cause for her worry.

 **(Tamase)  
** Thanks, Mitsurugi-san.  
On another note—

 _'What do you think it is?'_ her volume falls, the same way it does when people gossip.

 **(Meiya)  
** Of what do you speak, Tamase?

Her usual vivacity is noticeably unnoticeable in her conduct this evening.

 **(Tamase)  
** This secret of his.  
He said something about Takeru-san's secret, remember?

Just when I had been changing course from reflecting on Shirogane...

 **(Meiya)  
** I reckon I know as much as you, Tamase.

 **(Tamase)  
** And how does that lieutenant know Takeru-san first and foremost?

 _Takahashi might know the answer to that,_ I almost reveal.

Tamase is growing bolder by the minute as she fires one question after another.

 **(Tamase)  
** Of course—there's also the possibility this is one big hoax.

She states in half a whisper, half a stutter, sinking deeper in uncertainty and anxiety.

 **(Meiya)**  
A hoax, you say?

 _'How have you arrived at that conclusion?'_

Placing her hands together, she twiddles her thumbs.

 **(Tamase)  
** I mean—!  
I know we all have secrets, Mitsurugi-san.  
But I feel like if Takeru-san had one, we'd have known it by now.

 _'I feel like he's someone who would speak his mind, even if it were wild and silly,'_ defends a jittery Tamase, _'At least, that's the impression I have of him, for some reason.'_

Tamase has favourable opinions of Shirogane, possibly distracted by the same infatuation as mine.

 **(Meiya)  
** Pardon my candor, Tamase, however—your logic is feeble.

She turns to me with round eyes.

 **(Meiya)  
** Were it a hoax, Shirogane would have justly turned it down.

 _'However, that he accepted the lieutenant's invitation reveals—that Shirogane has something to hide,'_ comes my rebuttal.

Even if the lieutenant had been bluffing at the time, the fact remains that Shirogane willingly shook his hand, perhaps in the off chance that it would not turn out to be an empty threat in the end.

He could have politely declined the lieutenant if he were indeed free of guilt, yet he did not, implying that the guilt does too exist.

Leading us to this night's sequence of events, as Squadron 207 journeys to the venue despite not being invited, keen to observe the outcome.

 **(Tamase)  
** _Augh,_ you might have a good point.  
I hadn't considered that.  
But then—why would Takeru-san...

Her eyes drop, downcast.

These concerns must have been weighing on her mind since the day of that confrontation.

. . .

The collective _tap-tap-tap_ of our footfalls resonates along the corridor, the dearth of personnel a sign of approaching where we can put Sakaki's plot into effect.

Rather apropos, I tell myself.

Not that I have no want to converse with Tamase.

Setting aside our topic of discussion—our tardiness is a fault of mine to begin with, thus I can only hope that we not 'miss our window' due to the whimsical daydreams of Mitsurugi Meiya.

Opening Tamase's eyes should suffice for the time being.

Shirogane Takeru is not the saint she believes him to be.

Now.

With nary a moment more to waste, I take wider steps to narrow the gap between us and the rest of our group—

 **(Meiya)  
** _Huh?_

Tamase.

Abruptly—she stopped.

 **(Meiya)  
** Tamase, will you not come with us?

I halt in kind out of courtesy as Yoroi, Ayamine and Sakaki trudge to the fore without pause.

I might have been too candid and gotten Tamase needlessly upset. Her head remains slightly bowed with her long carnation hair veiling her eyes.

 **(Meiya)  
** Tamase...

I take a step back to reach her.

Then—equally as abrupt, Tamase's dejected disposition vanishes (causing me doubt it had ever been there), and she's smiling—from cheek to cheek—at me.

I sense no malice, however. Only the familiar optimism you could expect from Tamase Miki, furthering my chagrin.

 **(Tamase)  
** Mitsurugi-san.

 _'If there are any secrets Takeru-san doesn't want us to find out, it would only be that there's an invisible battle he's been fighting all by himself,'_ she beams.

 **(Tamase)  
** And I know he hasn't asked any of us for a hand, and I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed—but Miki will do everything she can to pull him through.

 **(Meiya)  
** Tamase...  
Why stake yourself for someone we met not one week ago—?

Tamase, however, gives me no room to finish, let alone begin, my question.

 **(Tamase)  
** Because, Mitsurugi-san.  
He looks tired, doesn't he?

I suppose he does appear weary... as though he really were in the midst of some longstanding struggle.

Although—I had not anticipated the approach Tamase is taking.

 **(Tamase)  
** Tired enough that I don't think he can fight this alone, Mitsurugi-san.  
Which is why—

She pauses briefly while nodding absently.

 **(Tamase)  
** Which is why I've decided to support him, even if I can only do so from afar.

Tamase must have read my thoughts, for I had been about to remark Shirogane's insistence on keeping his relations aloof and detached.

'Tis difficult in practice—lending your aid to one who wants nothing to do with it.

Imposing yourself does more harm than good in a case such as this.

 **(Meiya)  
** How do you propose to provide support from afar, Tamase?

I am genuinely curious as to how she plans to succeed if her only way of doing so is from a distance.

 **(Tamase)  
** Long-range shooting is my forte.  
It should be a walk in the park for me—

She cuts short her jest, possibly having sought to prop herself using humour to alleviate her unease only to realize the seriousness of her endeavour.

 **(Tamase)  
** I haven't thought it through...

 _'But!'_ exclaims Tamase, _'That's beside the point!'_

 **(Tamase)  
** I think that being there for Takeru-san is better than not being there at all.

 _'Because as long as Miki is there, no matter how far, no matter the distance, I know I can make a difference!'_

 **(Meiya)  
** That...

I hold my tongue.

That reminds me of Tsukuyomi...

Takahashi... once upon a time...

And Kamiyo, Tomoe, Ebisu.

 _Aneue..._ in spirit...

Though I am unable to see them in physical form, simply knowing that they are by, honestly—warms mine heart.

Reluctantly, I have to agree with Tamase—that _'being there'_ is truly more comforting than the latter.

Even if they take no action, for instance—in my frame of mind, in spirit and health, their mere presence has indeed made a positive difference.

Had they not been here for me all this time, I doubt I would ever have reached where I stand today.

Tamase wishes to do the same for Shirogane... though I can attest that the path she speaks of is not as rosy as it appears, and that she is likely to encounter more thorns than roses, for that matter.

 **(Tamase)**  
And, to tell you the truth—

 _'Uhmmm,'_ she scratches her cheek, hesitant to continue.

Tamase then shakes her head, as though to likewise shake off her doubts, before confessing:

 **(Tamase)  
** I feel like this isn't the first time I've met him.  
I feel like—I've somehow spent a lifetime with Takeru-san before.

 _'Ahahaha~. That doesn't make sense, does it,'_ Tamase bursts forth in forced laughter, redeeming herself from that ridiculous claim.

Ridiculous—I call it. Yet it is no more ridiculous than the visions that frequent me.

And as a matter of course, our sentiments are frighteningly mutual.

Might Tamase also be experiencing the same reveries as I? If so, should her heart not as well ache every time she sees him for reasons unknown? How is she still able to stand by him so eagerly, knowing that she would perish by his hand?

What if—

What if this is the true secret Shirogane has been keeping?

That he is a murderer?

A kithslayer, for aught we know?

Or perhaps—perhaps Tamase and I follow different destinies, and hers might not play out as bleakly as mine...

 **(Tamase)  
** Shouldn't it be obvious, Mitsurugi-san?

 _'I... I like him!'_ Tamase almost yells.

 **(Tamase)  
** I like Takeru.  
Plain and simple.

While I—I almost jump back.

Is she reading my mind? Returning the questions I have yet to voice out.

 **(Tamase)  
** And—  
And I've a feeling the whole squad feels the same way!  
Even you, Mitsurugi-san!

 _'Otherwise you wouldn't have wanted to come with us and watch him tonight... right?'_

At that, I turn my back to her.

 **(Meiya)  
** I shall not pretend to understand all that you have professed, Tamase.  
In turn, however, you would be wise not to presume that you have figured me out.

Because that is not how I, Mitsurugi Meiya, feel...

That—is not... how _this_ Mitsurugi Meiya feels...

 **(Tamase)  
** _Ah._ Please excuse me, I didn't mean to...  
It's just... I'm as confused as you are, Mitsurugi-san—

A new voice interjects her, to my alarm.

 **(? ? ?)**  
There you are!  
Goodness, how much later will you make us wait?  
Hey—why the long faces, Miki?

 **(Tamase)**  
Asakura-san—I mean, Ma'am!  
It's all my fault! I made a wrong turn and Mitsurugi-san came back for me!

Second Lt. Takada Asakura sprints toward Tamase and heartily slaps her on the shoulder.

 **(Takada Asakura)**  
It's been so long, Miki, but don't you ever call me _'Ma'am'_ , or else it's a hundred push-ups for you, missy!

Both laugh. Both have one hand on their waists, the other on the sides of their heads, as though they were mirror images of each other.

 **(Meiya)**  
Good evening, Takada.

 **(Takada Asakura)**  
And to you as well, Mitsurugi-san.  
Save the pleasantries for later, though.  
This mini reunion will have to wait.

 _'Come quickly. We have to find Suzumiya-san and Takahara then meet up with the rest,'_ prompts Takada as she leads the way.

 **(Meiya)  
** A moment.  
What of Yoroi, Saka—

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** They're with Tae, probably snuck into the simulator room by now.

 _'Seriously—pick up the pace, Miki! You wouldn't want to get us into more trouble than we're already in, do you?'_

Tamase huffs her way to Takada's side.

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** As for Suzumiya-san and Takahara—we split ways to search the two of you out.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Yoroi and Ayamine haven't changed, but for Sakaki not to notice they'd left the both of you far back—have you all been slacking since we left?

 **(Tamase)**  
Suzumiya-san!

I turn my head sideways and shades of emerald green irises greet me, having seemingly popped out of thin air.

A grinning Suzumiya Akane, in her casual wear, joins our march.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** I heard Takada mention my name.  
Be honest—was she talking about me behind my back, Tamase, Mitsurugi?

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** _Pfft!_

 **(? ? ?)**  
Theeeere you are~!  
 _Phewww_ ~! I thought we'd be late for sure~!

Yonder, twenty-some paces ahead on the other end of the corridor, Majima Takahara can be seen waving in our direction.

As ever, even as she hollers, there still exists a curious cadence in the manner she speaks. Lyrical, almost—if I were to give it words.

In fact, everything about her has a natural rhythm that can only be called her own. From her speech to her gait, for example, as she awaits us wearing a gentle smile.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** _Shhhhh!_

Suzumiya places a finger to her lips.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** Not so loud!  
You'll get us caught!

 **(Majima Takahara)**  
 _Oh_ —sorry, Akane-san~!

She whispers, only it isn't so much a whisper as it is a muffled shout.

 **(Majima Takahara)**  
 _Konbanwa~_.  
Miki-chan, Mitsurugi Meiya-san~.

 **(Tamase)**  
It's been a while, Takahara-san!

 **(Majima Takahara)**  
I knowww~!  
It's been terribly hectic since graduation~!  
I almost want to turn back the clock~.

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** You'll know what she means pretty soon.  
But for now—  
Less chit-chat and more walking, pre-tty-please!

Suzumiya may have been their squad leader, but the assertive Takada Asakura is every bit as compelling in her own right. That is to say—it can be quite difficult to refuse her.

I politely acknowledge Majima Takahara's nod as Takada, despite her smaller figure, shoves her and Tamase forward.

It feels as though time sure has sped up since we reunited with our former training colleagues, which is to be expected. Those of A-squad had always been the livelier bunch, with competitive spirits surpassed only by us in B.

I sigh to myself, relieved that Sakaki and Suzumiya had been able to devise a method of bringing us in. Being able to coordinate everyone's participation truly is an exemplary display of their leadership—

 _'Everyone'?_

Not quite.

I tap Suzumiya Akane on the shoulder.

 **(Meiya)  
** Suzumiya.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** Mitsurugi-san?

She responds without slowing down.

 **(Meiya)  
** Whereabout is Kashiwagi?

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** Haruko?

The question seemed to have agitated her.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** She happened to be picked for Lt. Ichimonji's team.

 _'Hmph!'_ I swear I heard her scoff, with what I can only guess is envy.

 **(Tamase)  
** Oh! Speaking of which—what are the teams like, Suzumiya-san?

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** _Eto..._

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** I can answer that for you—  
Takahashi-san, Ryuu-kun, Misae-san, and Haruko on one team.

Ryuu and Misae are unfamiliar names, though I wager 'Ryuu' is the name of the lieutenant who confronted Shirogane.

 **(Majima Takahara)  
** _Hoh~?_ Is Miss Kazama really sitting this one out~?

Majima, walking with her hands clasped behind her, asks Suzumiya.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** _Mh-hmm_. She's never been one for these kinds of contests.  
But—!

 _'Why couldn't she have picked me as her replacement instead of Haruko!'_ she laments.

 _'Ahem,'_ Takada coughs, snapping Suzumiya back to the matter at hand.

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** Versus!  
Capt. Michiru.  
Mitsuki-chui, Kuki, annnd—

 **(Majima Takahara)  
** Shirogane Takeru-san~.

Takahara giggles upon finishing, while a heated Suzumiya explains:

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** It's essentially our Rearguard against our Vanguard.

 **(Majima Takahara)  
** _Tale as old as time~._

Majima hums.

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** The impenetrable shield, or the all-piercing spear.  
Which one would crumble first, should we place bets?

 _'Haaa~. But half of those names I don't even recognize~,'_ complains Tamase.

 **(Tamase)  
** What're Takeru-san's chances?  
Best guess?

Taking the opportunity to participate in the conversation, I add:

 **(Meiya)  
** Against Takahashi—I opine his chances are slim.

 **(Tamase)  
** _Heeh?_ But Takeru-san's been in a TSF before—

 **(Suzumiya, Takada and Majima)  
** He has?!

The ladies from A-squad exchange glances, their expressions mildly surprised.

 **(Meiya)  
** That may well as be.  
However—

Not only is Ichimonji Takahashi's fame as a formidable surface pilot widespread, but he had also earned his titles with neither family name nor political connections. He began at the bottom rung of the ladder, as all civilians do, and worked his way up the ranks through sheer ability alone.

I know as much because, for a brief period, he served House Mitsurugi (under the instruction of _aneue_ , I suspect)—my foster family—only to be reassigned not long after. Tsukuyomi kept her lips sealed throughout the entire affair, and she still does, no matter how adamantly I pressed his departure.

I later found out that he had been annexed by the UN, for want of a better explanation.

All this to say that Shirogane has little hope of winning against Takahashi.

 **(Majima Takahara)  
** M–M–Meiya-san! Has—  
Has Shirogane ever mentioned how good of a pilot he is~?

 **(Meiya)  
** _Ara?_

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** Mitsurugi.

Suzumiya seems to be holding in a laugh.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** I think you're in for a treat.

She winks.

I know not why.

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** Matter of fact.

Takada, boastingly (almost), declares:

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** The XM3 is the brainchild of Shiroga—

Majima, however, covers her mouth.

 **(Majima Takahara)  
** Asakura~! That isn't for you to share!

Meanwhile, Suzumiya shakes her head in disappointment.

I have not the slightest clue as to what they are talking about...

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** Whatever the case.  
I'm slightly leaning towards Lt. Ichimonji this time around.  
For reasons different than Mitsurugi's, mind you.

Takada and Majima let out a _'Haaa?'_ in chorus, putting an end to the little wrestle they had been engaged in.

 **(Majima Takahara)  
** Have you lost faith in Hayase Mitsuki-chui, Akane~?

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** That's not it, Takahara.

Then, at Suzumiya, Takada probes:

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** What gives, Suzumiya-san?

Suzumiya tucks her fingers underneath her chin, placing more thought into her following words.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** This isn't a one on one match.  
I mean—ignoring the fact that Lt. Hayase has never won a duel against Ichimonji-san.

 _'Even though they split up the trio,'_ and _'Even though she has Shirogane Takeru on her side,'_ Suzumiya enumerates.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** It'd still be an uphill battle.  
For Shirogane, that is.  
Does that answer your question, Tamase?

 **(Tamase)  
** _Uhmm._ Not really. Or.  
I mean—yes. I think?

As I surmised.

The outcome was to be expected.

 **(Tamase)  
** Is—is Ichimonji-san really that good?

 **(Meiya)  
** Naturally—

In the midst of my nod of assent, I am sidetracked by the Second Lieutenants, who have altogether started chuckling.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** _Whoops!_ I gave you the wrong idea, Tamase.  
Sure—Ichimonji-san is pretty damn good.

 _'Much better than our Storm Vanguard, at any rate.'_

 **(Majima Takahara)  
** The best of the best~, some have said~.

We have arrived, by the looks of it, as Takada Asakura opens the door to the room in front of us.

 **(Suzumiya Akane)  
** But it's not him you should keep your eyes on.

Suzumiya utters these cryptic words as the doors slide open, and on the other side of the door stands a genial Yoroi, a stone-faced Ayamine, a tense-looking Sakaki, Second Lt. Tsukiji Tae, an officer sharing the same features as Suzumiya Akane, and—

The Adjutant Commander of Yokohama Base.

* * *

 **Ryuuseiu**

* * *

 _'I see everything. This is my curse.'_

 _Onee_ must've introduced herself in a similar way.

* * *

My story is a story inked in blood.

It's a story of vengeance.

Vengeance—against the human race.

As opposed to the world around me, my war is not with the BETA.

Why should it be?

The BETA had nothing to do with the cold-blooded murder of my mom and dad.

It wasn't the BETA who discarded my sister and me, driving us to grow up in the gutters and fend for ourselves, as though to send us a clear message: That the universe has no need for our existence.

Not to mention.

I live in an Earth where the young are forced to fight the battles of the old, and the old are forced to watch the young die young.

Friends dying beside friends, allies burying allies—are scenes as commonplace as the sun setting and rising.

And I detest the human race for creating this norm in the world I live in.

For being weak in the face of the mindless, soulless aliens that are the BETA.

They're no better than the constant itch underneath my scarf, which I'm not supposed to scratch no matter what, according to Motoko-sensei.

Yes—humans are such a foolish species.

Insulted? Don't be.

'Tis no insult to call a fool weak, just as it is no insult to say that water is wet.

There is no fixing this plague of a species, nor is there a need for it.

I guess you can say that the BETA are the embodiment of my divine vengeance. And when I say divine, I don't speak of gods, angels or demons.

 _Onee-chan_ and I have long abandoned such constructs. Constructs created by mere mortals, no less.

You might call me an ungrateful bastard, having been raised and sheltered in a chapel when my sister and I were as good as dead. Left for dead—by our bitch of a mother, and our coward of a father...

 _Hah._

 _'Forget ungrateful bastard, you're a son of a bitch,'_ you say?

Fuck off.

I am sincerely grateful. Not a day goes by where I don't thank that pastor for giving my sister and me refuge.

But the truth of the matter is that living with that kind priest for some years only drifted my beliefs further from the divine.

It's not like I don't believe in anything, though. There's nothing more despicable than a man or woman who can't make up their mind, after all.

I do believe in something—it just isn't god.  
The fuck believes in a god in a run-down world like this one?

If you really want to know what it is I believe in—it 'is' none of your concern.

You don't care? That makes two of us.

Oh, by the way.

When I say 'despicable', I speak of the brand of people who forever stand on the fence. Unsure whether to plant their feet firmly on one side or the other, their mind in a perpetual state of limbo.

I'm not mocking myself. Who the hell makes fun of themselves, you know?

Using my example, though this applies to everything else:

Not believing in god _is a_ belief.  
Believing in god _is a_ belief.

However—being unable to decide whether one wants to be a believer or a non-believer. That state of indecisiveness, of not having a belief you can own up to— _that_ is despicable, I say.

Pick a damn side.

 _Onee-chan_ and I have had to pick a side early on in life. We've had to make several, countless fucked-up decisions throughout our childhood, well into our teenage years, if only to survive.

Hint—the side we picked doesn't lead down the path of righteousness. I don't take nobility into account when I venture forth.

This isn't a confession of my sins and crimes, though.

Lay off them.

And we're still alive, so at the end of the day, I regret none of them.

I sleep like a baby at night, as a matter of fact.

This world I live in punishes those who only take half-ass measures.

I can't afford to take any half-ass measures. Not with what I'm striving to accomplish.

Anyhow.

Right.

Humans and BETA.

While my war is not with them—they've provided me an escape.

A temporary escape, but an escape nonetheless.

Disappointing—that I can't take revenge myself, though I won't spend too much time moping over it.

My war is not with the humans either, by the way.

I've bigger fish to fry.

I don't give a fuck about the BETA.

I don't give a fuck about the human race.

They can duke it all out for all the damns in the world.

My true enemy, neither the BETA nor humanity, is in fact— _time_.

And.

This never-ending war between humans and the aliens has kept both parties occupied so that I might prepare myself for my own battle—my battle against Father Time.

. . .

Fuck.

I'm terrible at these things.

I haven't written down a single damn thing.

 **(Onee-chan)  
** Sure you have.

 _Argh._

 _Onee-chan_ caught me unawares, which, FYI, is a tremendous thing to say. Fukui Kukiko is the only person in the world who knows of my blind spots.

Hell—I don't even know my own blind spots.

My first mistake was getting too comfortable—which had led me to not pay attention to my surroundings. The moment my sister nabbed my sheet of paper, I had lost it to her, with no hope of getting it back even if I were to reach for it any number of times.

 **(Ryuu)  
** How are you so flexible?!

Honestly!

Her limbs are bending in places that aren't capable of bending just so she could evade my grabs!

 **(Ryuu)**  
Return it! There's nothing interesting in there!

That's not quite true.

I had something written down...

One sentence—that's all there is.

Thankfully though, _Nee-chan_ returns it without further opposition.

 **(Onee-chan)  
** Sooooo lame.  
You write down the same thing every time.

 **(Ryuu)  
** So what?

 _'Until I have something new to say, my message will always stay the same,'_ I reason while folding my paper in half.

 **(Ryuu)  
** What about you?  
When the hell are you going to write down your will?

Our Last Wills, to be more precise.

We'd been briefed only this morning by Isumi-senpai—that in less than a week's time, we are slated to carry out another Alternative IV mission. And there was something irregular about her voice during the entire meeting...

Anyhow, _senpai_ aside—

As with every mission involving Alternative, we are given these sheets of paper to jot down our final testimonies. Requests that we wish to be fulfilled post-mortem.

I'm not expecting an answer from _Onee-chan_ , however.

Just like how I write down the same message in every testimony, my sister always hands in a blank letter.

Yup...

She never writes anything down...

 **(Onee-chan)  
** It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, you know?  
If I were to write something down in case I die, I feel like I'd just wind up dead, you know?

 **(Ryuu)  
** You don't have to preach to me, _Onee-chan_.

I brush aside her excuse as I place my letter in its envelope and seal it shut.

 **(Onee-chan)  
** Besides!

Unexpectedly, _Nee-chan_ has grabbed me from behind in what is supposed to be a hug but feels more like a choke from my stand.

I let go of my letter to free up both hands in an effort to liberate my scarfed neck from my oppressive tyrant of a twin sister.

 **(Onee-chan)  
** Besides—I don't need to write such depressing things down.  
Because I have a loving brother who just loooves his loveable sister!

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Urkh!_

With my throat being strangled, I can't put any words out.

 **(Ryuu)  
** Stop... before you say anything more embarrassing—

 _Phew._

She finally put an end to her bear hug—

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Akch!_

Spoke too soon!

I'm being squeezed to death!

 **(Onee-chan)  
** Even if Ryuu-nii were in the middle of saving Yokohama Base—actually, the whole world, even—he'd come rushing to my rescue at the first sign of trouble!  
 _Fuck the world,_ he would say, _Kuki-neechan needs me!_

At last—I think it's safe to say that she's done with her death grip of an embrace.

I slowly rub my neck while coughing in the meantime, resisting the urge to scratch it as well.

 **(Onee-chan)  
** So I don't need a Last Will.  
Right, Ryuu-nii~?

Slowly, _Onee-chan_ places her arms around me once more. Easier, this time (much to my relief, since I haven't fully recovered yet), and she gently kisses me on the side of my cheek.

 **(Ryuu)  
** No...

She's not right...

She's wrong...

My sister is wrong on one count.

 **(Ryuu)  
** You wouldn't catch me dead in the middle of saving Yokohama Base.

 _'Let alone the whole world,'_ I whisper.

I'm not some fucking hero.

 **(Onee-chan)  
** No... my little brother isn't a hero.  
And that's why I looove him so~.

 _'Anyhow—'_ , after one more kiss, _Nee-chan_ releases me and stands upright, but not before grabbing the envelope containing my final testimony.

 **(Onee-chan)  
** Don't worry about this, I'll deliver it to _senpai_ on my way to the simulators.

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Ah_ —thanks, _Nee-chan_.

Sister takes her leave out of the bunk room I seldomly use. I only really occupy it if I ever want some alone time, although—alone time is never really alone with _Onee-chan_ off her leash.

 **(Onee-chan)  
** By the way, Ryuu-nii?

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Are?_

 _Nee-chan_ , before the door closes, pokes her hand into the room, and in her hand is the envelope I had entrusted to her.

 **(Onee-chan)  
** There's nothing wrong with your Last Wills, even if you write the same message in every one of your letters.

 _'I don't want to die either,'_ she waves the letter in place of waving her hand bye-bye.

 **(Ryuu)  
** _Mmh..._

I could only grunt back.

 **(Onee-chan)  
** Better not be late, alright?  
It'd be a shame if Keru-oniichan showed up before you did.  
You invited him, after all!  
Don't make me look bad!

 _Nee-chan's_ voice trails, even after she'd closed the door, almost as though her voice had the innate ability to travel through walls.

Having said that—I still don't feel like standing up just yet.

So what if 13 shows up before I do? It's not like they could otherwise start the mock team battle without me.

Even so... that's merely a mock battle.

One with nothing on the line—nothing for me, anyhow.  
I believe 13 is under the assumption he has to be there to defend his secrets.

 _Hah._

I've yet to figure out how to confront my real foe—and my battle against time.

My sister doesn't have that much time left, you see...

. . .

What the fuck am I saying?

Of course you can't 'see' it.

You can't see what I 'see,' can you?

But—if I may be real with you for once.

It isn't an understatement to say that I've lived my life just for that _one_ moment. And, to be dreadfully frank, like _Nee-chan_ , I don't want to die...

However—

I can feel that moment approaching more swiftly, and if I can't find the answer in time, more than my fear of death, I fear that my moment would pass with me not being able to do a single damn thing about it, and that would mean that I've lived seventeen years of a meaningless, useless existence...

Fuck the world, seriously.

As if I would ever allow that to happen.


	28. Detours

**Chapter 28 – Detours**

* * *

 **Mitsuki**

* * *

This might be a difficult pill to swallow: there was once a time when I wasn't called Storm Vanguard One.

 _'_ _Impossible!'_

I know, right? The title comes to me so naturally nowadays that it's easy to forget how I was once a flight cadet myself.

But adults had to be babies before they'd grown into adults, and we've all had to learn to walk before we could run.

My journey hadn't been easy. Even while I prep myself for our mock team battle against Lt. Takahashi and his platoon, I can't believe I had to resort to asking for Ryuuseiu's help just to get a handle on this new XM3 system.

What has me flustered is not the act of asking for help—as prideful as I can sometimes be, we all need a helping hand from time to time. That much, I am fully aware of.

Rather, it's that I had to ask _him_ for help.

I'll have to apologize to Takayuki-kun when I finally meet him in the next world...

The results cannot be denied, however.

I must've spent a total of three excruciating days and nights or so with Ryuuseiu, and.

While I am sincerely grateful, I'm also filled with a slight sense of remorse, knowing that I am now in his debt.

At any rate.

This XM3 truly is phenomenal, Shirogane Takeru!

My TSF feels like a true extension of my every limb.

The responsiveness is subtly organic once you get accustomed to the sensitivity.

Take this, for instance.

When I swerve my thumb this way—just like that, smooth as a baby's cheek, so reacts my simulated bipedal surface fighter.

 _'_ _Ahah.'_

 _Thumbs_ —that reminds me.

In my days as a flight cadet, I used to be all thumbs.

Or I had two left feet, allegorically speaking.

Takayuki, Taira Shinji-kun, and my dear friend Haruka—it was with their support that I'd been able to overcome my deficiencies while in the academy.

Them—and.

I rarely make any mention of this due to circumstances beyond my scope of knowledge, but there was one additional person who had helped me a great deal back then... And while my friends were a dependable source of moral support, that kind of support isn't exactly enough to land you a position as prestigious as Storm Vanguard One.

The truth is—

I also had a senior.

My very own mentor.

A _senpai_ who, as she taught me the technical facets to TSF piloting, perhaps deserves the most credit for my present aptitude and prowess as the forefront of A-01's Squadron 9.

Not to undermine my friends, but.

Teaching me how to steer the TSF is more concrete than words of encouragement. And showing me tricks to maneuver my way into the weak spots of the BETA is more practical than Takayuki's captivating smile.

And it was this _senpai_ who had taught me the ropes.

The ins and outs of combat, as well as the crafts of war—she seemed to be a veteran at all that.

Like I said, though.

I rarely mention this, because— _senpai_ has actually been... long dead...

And I'd never even gotten the chance to properly thank her...

Nor had I actually seen... her face...

* * *

 **(Shinji)  
** _Phee-yoow_ , that was a doozy!  
What do you say, Takayuki?  
I'm beat, I say we call it a night.

We had just completed one of the tougher simulation runs.

There was nothing that stuck out of the ordinary that evening.

Nothing that would've revealed that I'd have a chance meeting with the senior I had mentioned, at any rate.

Like usual, the four of us were clocking our hours into simulator training.

 _Errr_ —three of us, correction.

Haruka, no longer able to mount a TSF, and before she'd been fitted with prosthetic legs, had taken the role of our Command Post operator. A role she has finely grown into, appropriately enough.

Frankly, the reason everyone was staying over so late that particular evening was because—of yours truly...

I struggled at piloting, back in those days.

And I mean—really, _really_ , struggled...

 **(Takayuki)  
** _Hmm...  
_ What time do you have, Haruka?

He asked Haruka over the radio.

 **(Haruka)  
** _Eh? Etoo.  
_ It's half past eleven.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Wow, is it that late already?

 **(Shinji)  
** That's that, then!

 _'_ _Let's pick up where we left off tomorrow,'_ yawned Shinji-kun as he began to exit his simulator cabin.

 **(Takayuki)  
** You don't plan on quitting just yet, do you, Mitsuki?

Hesitant to pursue our mutual friend, the ever-sprightly Taira Shinji, Takayuki coaxed an answer out of me.

Naturally, he had already known what I would say in response.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Thanks for your help tonight, Takayuki.  
But I'll keep at it for a while longer.

 **(Shinji)  
** Hayase, practice is good and all, but sleep is equally important.  
We have to be up in five hours, and you're quite the heavy sleeper, you know that?

 **(Takayuki)  
** He's right, Mitsuki.

 _'_ _Uhmm, if you'd like, I'll stick around until you—'_

 **(Mitsuki)  
** No no no! Don't mind me!  
I promise I won't take too long!  
Five, ten minutes, tops!

I had to cut short his offer before dragging him into my mess.

Yes—I knew full well that sleep was important, too. But to develop myself as quickly as possible, on not just mine, but Haruka's behalf, I'd have to keep practicing and make do with what little sleep I could afford. It wasn't uncommon for me to go for days with two or three hours in bed.

 **(Takayuki)  
** Are you sure?  
If you say so, _anooo_...  
I'll see Haruka to her room, then.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Please do!  
Thank you, Takayuki, Shinji-kun.

 **(Shinji)  
** See you bright and early, Hayase!  
Break a leg in there, too.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Good night~.

The spirited Shinji-kun waved me goodbye as he walked up to Takayuki and Haruka by the doorway, leaving me to my lone self.

And—while I sat in my cabin, plateaued with my progress and honestly uncertain of how to proceed, it was during that moment of solitude when a voice popped over the radio, catching me by surprise.

I wasn't the last person in the simulator room like I had believed, late though it may have been.

 **(? ? ?)  
** You, in Cabin 9-0-2.  
Still alive?

I couldn't quite place the voice's owner; it was one I'd never heard of before.

Though I was able to recognize that the voice did sound very feminine, or very young, or very—both, or maybe none of them at all?

My memory of it is hazy, sort of.

 _Argh!_ Why am I having a difficult time remembering it?!

It didn't help that she had kept her visual switched off.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Pete's sake—no response, huh.  
Hello? Did you pass out? Damn rookies.  
What the hell was the emergency dispatch number again—?

 **(Mitsuki)  
** I'm here, loud and clear!  
Don't call the Medical Team on me!

False alarm!

What a commotion that would create!

I know I said that her voice sounded feminine, but her choices of words were all quite boyish, if I recall correctly.

Laughter occupied the radio waves immediately after that exchange, though I wasn't in the mood to participate in carefree laughter.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Who are you and what do you want from me?!

I just wanted to get back to practicing; everything else I considered a waste of my time.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Want from you?  
There's nothing you have that I want, 9-0-2.

 _'_ _I was hoping you'd all left, but seeing that one of you stayed behind, you're in the way of my own training, you know?'_

Arrogant—that was my initial impression of the person behind the voice.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Who do you think you are?!  
I was being polite, the least you could do is return the courtesy—!

 **(? ? ?)  
** Hayase Mitsuki.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** _Eh?_

She somehow knew my name.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Of Squadron 151-C.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Are you a stalker?!

 **(? ? ?)**  
Why—yes, what gave it away?

That creep!

 **(? ? ?)  
** Of course not, _bakamono_.

Although it was only a voice, I felt a verbal slap on my cheek.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Your logs are being transmitted and shared over the network.  
Has no one taught you that?  
Anyone could look through your records.  
It's an eyesore, though, if you ask me.

I glanced at the console, realizing that if she could uncover my identity using the network, I should be able to pull the same stunt on her.

So I searched it. And found it.

It wasn't hard—only two simulator pods were showing any activity.

Cabin 8-0-4 being the other.

And registered under that simulator is— _huh_?

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Guest... 8-0-4...?

I felt like I was being toyed with...

 **(? ? ?)  
** Did you really just try to search me up?  
 _Haha~,_ you're not as sloppy as your sloppy piloting.

As rude as she was being, there wasn't exactly a counter to that. I knew my place and how much of a novice I was at that point.

 **(? ? ?)  
** But! I haven't done that on purpose.  
My credentials don't work here, you see.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** They—don't?

That must've been why she had logged into the simulator system using a generic account.

I wasn't the victim of a sophisticated prank, after all.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Unfortunately not.  
The other sim room is much too loud for my tastes, so I'd hoped to train in this one instead.  
I can't concentrate when others are watching me.  
I'm really shy, believe it or not.

 _'_ _It made no difference in the end—you and your pals are a rowdy bunch!'_

 **(? ? ?)  
** Why are you still here, anyhow?  
Shouldn't you have left with your posse?  
Isn't class in session tomorrow?

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Hold on a minute!

I tried to get a word in between what felt like an interrogation.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** Why wouldn't your credentials work in here?

And she mentioned another sim room.

I'd never been told of another sim room in the base, though I later found out she was referring to the Special Task Force's own practice room.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Yeahhh... it's weird...  
It was working up until a couple months ago.

 _'_ _They must've removed me from the system after graduation—'_

Having heard that, it was as though a light bulb had flicked in my head.

I had all along been talking to an alumna, which therefore meant that she was my senior recruit.

My _senpai_.

I should've spoken with more respect.

Actually—she should've also been my superior officer, seeing that she must've been a Second Lieutenant by then. (That has never really occurred to me until now, however).

Come to think of it, though, she had never once corrected me about that.

Perhaps because, being fresh out of flight academy, it takes a while to get used to all the new ranks and formalities?

At least—that's how it was for me.

I dunno.

That might've been her case as well.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** _Senpai?_ Do you have a name?

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Senpai?_

 **(Mitsuki)  
** I'm in my last year myself, but you should still be my senior if you graduated just recently—

 **(? ? ?)**  
Watch it.

She turned defensive, for some reason.

 **(? ? ?)**  
I'm not here to get chummy.  
Do us both a favour and get with your exercises.

 _'_ _Don't mind me and I'll pretend you don't exist,'_ she bluntly put.

I didn't feel the need to be personally bothered by her standoffish character, and instead, I actually agreed to her proposition, though not with the part about me getting back to my exercises.

I was at a standstill either way.

So I had the bright idea to turn my program off and watch _senpai_ run her courses, hoping that I could pick up a thing or two in the process.

Only to discover how vastly outmatched I was.

 _Senpai_ was on a whole different league.

Fresh graduate—yeah, right.

If I were to find it a comparison, Takahashi-san would be the only pilot I could say who'd best her, not counting our fallen comrades of the original Regiment, that is.

Col. Teiichi of Squadron 1 (the original Storm Vanguard One), for example, and even First Lt. Shigefumi of Squadron 2 were pretty damn good in their own right.

As good as they were, however, they had never been able to hold a candle to Takahashi-san, which makes me wonder what the hell got him demoted all those ranks.

But it's my senior, not Takahashi-san, whom I need to illustrate for now.

I sat tight for two hours, overwhelmed by the show of skill _senpai_ was putting on.

I must've been hypnotized, because I didn't even notice when she had finally left. I scrambled my way out of that room and snuck in an hour-long nap, having found a new determination that I planned to enact the following day.

And so I did.

In short, I recreated the conditions that had allowed me to meet her.

When Takayuki, Shinji-kun, and Haruka left as scheduled and we said our good nights, I stayed behind yet again and waited with my eyes on the console.

The wait wasn't a long one.

Like clockwork, Cabin 8-0-4 lit up just as it did the night before.

This time, I had no intention of starting up a conversation. I had learned my lesson the first time.

Patiently and eagerly, I waited for her to pull up her courses and followed suit.

 _Senpai_ loaded Simulation Course D, and so Hayase Mitsuki in Cabin 9-0-2 loaded Simulation Course D.

Watching her every move through the logs I had handily set up on its own dedicated monitor, I mimicked everything _senpai_ would do.

However...

Even at mimicking, I still found myself having an awkwardly difficult time...

 **(? ? ?)  
** You're depressing the accelerator a second and a half too long.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** _Eh?_

 _Senpai_ must've opened a comms channel at some point in the night.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** What was that?

But the radio remained dormant.

I'm too slow when releasing the accelerator, huh. That was why I'd overshoot my distances and be late in the coming turns, judging by the disparities in our simulations.

Was that what she meant?

I took _senpai's_ advice, or my interpretation of it, in any case.

 **(? ? ?)  
** You're way too trigger happy.  
Are you trying to toast your chaingun?  
Because that's how you toast your chaingun.

* * *

Throughout the following months, I underwent this routine with her.

Me—'secretly' tailing _senpai_.

Her—pretending I don't exist.

But a pattern emerged as we played along to each other's quirks.

A pattern I gladly pretended did not exist.

While I'd be in the middle of assessing her logs and figuring out what and where I'm doing wrong, _senpai_ would 'let it slip' over the intercom.

From the little things.

 _'_ _Your posture is atrocious. Move your seat forward a bit, your arms are too stretched out.'_

 _'_ _Either your simulator needs recalibration, or your sense of rhythm does. I'm going with your senses. Too bad there's no fixing that.'_

 _'_ _Have you no clue of the most fundamental rule when in the air?!'_

 _'_ _I'd tell you why you always run short on fuel, but it's fun watching you squirm.'_

Then slowly, into the more advanced regimens.

 _'_ _Try offsetting your target locks seven units to the left and four to the top, it's weaker in that area—save yourself two strokes when toppling a Fort Class.'_

 _'_ _What part of the Allbright Turn do you not get?! It's simple as A-B-C!'_

 _'_ _Did you really just try to punch that Grappler barehanded...'_

Night after night, in my final year in the academy, I spent my evenings training with my senior until I grew into the pilot I am today.

A pilot with the capacity to inherit the Storm Vanguard title. (Though I started off as Storm Vanguard Nine, when the A-01 Wing was at our peak).

Through it all, _senpai_ had never spoken to me directly. None of my follow-up questions had ever received a follow-up answer.

While I had tried to strike dialogues with her time and time again, _senpai_ never really showed particular interest in anything on a personal level.

I never got to see what she looks like, either—she would always be gone by the time I walked from my simulator cabin to hers.

And I never stalked her before she'd enter her cabin—I'm not a stalker, alright!

The radio was our only means of reach.

Her voice was my only connection to her.

And.

One day...

She just.

Disappeared.

It was the day of my graduation, to be precise.

I visited the simulator room alone that evening like I had always done, hoping to share her the news of my proud accomplishment.

Excited to announce that I'd finally be fighting alongside her.

I stayed in Cabin 9-0-2 the entire night, but not once did 8-0-4 show any signs of life.

It wouldn't have been odd the first occasion, though it happened again (or rather, _didn't_ happen again) on the next night, and the night after that, and every night that followed.

My senior and my mentor had simply... vanished...

Like she had never even existed.

I am of the belief that... she must've never made it back after one of Prof. Kouzuki's missions...

* * *

It is to honour her memory that I am reminiscing the untold story of _senpai_ right now (may she rest in peace), although it might also mean that I am somewhat nervous for this XM3 exhibition match.

 **(Haruka)  
** Mitsuki? Is everything alright?  
You've a nostalgic look on your face.

 **(Mitsuki)  
** I do not! I'm swell!

I flash her a thumbs up through the visual projector.

 **(Mitsuki)**  
Just raring to go.  
Finally—we can get started.

That Ryuuseiu.

He's finally arrived, but he was _seriously_ pushing it.

How could he have decided to run late at a time like this?

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

 _Ha ha._

 _Hahaha haha._

I just can't catch a damn break, can I.

As soon as I get comfortable enough to feel settled in, to look everyone in the eye and even enjoy living life a little, in comes Fukui Ryuuseiu to crash my high.

To think that it was his sister who had helped me learn to smile through my pain—

Or was it Cookie who put him up to this? She did, for a time, tirelessly insist that I take part in the STF's practice sessions.

 _Tch._

This is no laughing matter.

Why'd I laugh in the first place, anyway?

Have I gone mad?

 _Nah,_ that had nothing to do with it.

How else could I have expressed how frustrating this is, though.

This entire episode screams scam and sham.

An utterly unnecessary detour and a waste of my precious time, but...

 _'_ _If you don't show up, I'll tell them your secret,'_ boasted the smug thug.

It's not like I've been duped by this blatant fib, but there was _something_ _about the way he said it_ that made it impossible to simply ignore him.

 _Something_ —like the glint in his eye. Or the gall in his voice.

His breathing, perhaps.

Or his very existence.

Whatever it was, there was no way I could refuse a chance to put him in his place, and ultimately—once and for all—get him off my case.

As for his threat of revealing my secret— _haha_ to that, I say.

He'd have to be a psychic to have the first clue to my daunting secret.

Blatant fib, like I'd said.

Now.

Now that he's _finally_ arrived (not the punctual type, is he).

If I can just get this mock sim battle over and done with, I could get back on track and return to my primary mission.

For real—unless I accomplish my share of our bargain, I wouldn't be able to expect Yuuko-sensei's help with the Causality Conductor... and that would make everything I've done entirely meaningless yet again.

Yet.

Again.

Never, is what it will be.

Never—again.

I have to, and I am going to, make this time count.

Which is why this detour I've been forced to take is rather frustrating.

Though I'm not sure what to make of the recent deviations, this instance for example.

In a few short days, the BETA should dock at the Niigata port, while at the same time, our CCSE would be taking place.

Why Yuuko-sensei moved up the exam schedule by nearly a week—I seriously cannot figure out.

It sounds like the result of a moment of panic to me.

But what do I know—good luck trying to figure out how Yuuko-sensei's brain functions, Shirogane Takeru.

In any event, the call she made was beyond my control. Hell—it caught _me_ by surprise, as well.

Honestly.

Just how am I supposed to steer our future at this rate, sensei? I'd have better luck counting stars than predicting unpredictable factors like _you_ and now _this_.

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Keru-niichan?_

 **(Takeru)  
** Hmm?

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Haaa—?  
_ Since when did Shirogane become your older brother?

 **(Cookie)  
** _Etooo.  
_ I think it's been one day or one week ago?

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** Is it one day or one week?  
Make up your mind, why can't you.

 _Uhmm._

Can they not hear me?

Oh, I've left my microphone turned all the way down.

And I see that Cookie is still shamelessly appending my name with the 'big brother' suffix, though I do wish she'd use –san instead of the more familiar –chan, at least when in the company of the likes of Lt. Hayase Mitsuki and Capt. Isumi Michiru.

Not because I'm shy about it or anything of the like, but rather because Cookie is really cozying up to me. Yet another detour I have to deal with.

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** Let it slide, Hayase.  
It doesn't appear to bother Shirogane, so let Kukiko be Kukiko.

 **(Cookie)  
** _Hmph_. Anego sounds mighty jealous, if you ask me.

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** Jealous—?

Storm Vanguard gushes with laughter.

 **(Lt. Hayase)** ** _  
_**He has a lot of growing up to do before that!

 **(Cookie)  
** You pervert!

 _'_ _Jealous that big brother Keru is stealing big sis Anego's thunder, obviously!'_

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** Why you! Don't mince words with me!

 **(Cookie)  
** That was your fault! You cut me off, tomato-face Anego.

My partners for the mock battle, dressed in their armoured suits (Cookie isn't as flat as I'd thought—she's still growing, I guess), appear to be bantering over the team channel. Would it be better if I butt in?

I'll try shifting topics.

 **(Takeru)  
** Captain?

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** Yes?

 **(Takeru)  
** Is it just me or is this simulator—different?

I don't mean that the XM3 OS is different. The simulator itself feels different.

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** Keen eye, Shirogane.

 _'_ _Yes, the simulators have been worked on since the last time you were with us,'_ Michiru looks impressed.

Lt. Hayase, with a boisterous smile, tacks on to the Captain's words.

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** Haruka has been assisting the XO day in and day out to improve these simulator cabins. All the systems have been through a major upgrade.

 **(Takeru)  
** No kidding.

The movements are, how shall I say it—more life-like?

For example, if I were to do a simulated boosted jump right now—

 _Damn._

And _ouch_.

I could really feel the landing impact on my tailbone this time.

And when I cut a sharp left and cut a sharp right, I'm almost tossed to the side like so.

I should acclimate myself to treating this like a real TSF from here on.

 **(Cookie)  
** Awesome, ain't it?

 **(Takeru)  
** _Huh?_

Cookie must've been observing me getting a feel for my simulator.

 **(Cookie)  
** Though word on the street is sensei had to pay a hefty price to another branch of the UN to trade for this upgrade.

 _'_ _She's really banking on you and your squadron, Keru-niichan,'_ Cookie croons with a devious grin.

 **(Takeru)  
** Is that so...

Is that just hearsay, or is Cookie actually spouting the truth?

What in the world would Yuuko-sensei be willing to pay in exchange for an improved simulator experience?

I suppose this does eliminate the transition period from piloting here to the actual TSFs, but—cost for cost, I hope sensei hasn't given up anything of consequence.

Looks like she's been busying herself with more behind-the-scenes stuff than just moving up our evaluation date...

 **(Cookie)  
** Anyhow—it jives really well with the XM3, you know!  
With this, we could mop the floor with Ryuu and Aniki's face!

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** You could say that again!

Hey.

Something they both agree on, for a change.

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** Well, Shirogane.  
Any suggestions for the upcoming match?

 **(Takeru)  
** Me?

Cookie murmurs something in my direction.

 **(Cookie)  
** _Hoh_ —are you daft, _Nii-chan_?

 _Urgh_.

Her words are ice-cold as ever.

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** Nervous, maybe.  
And you're not being helpful, Kukiko.

Nervous? Not really.

It was sudden, is all.

Captain asking me for suggestions isn't something I would've expected.

 **(Takeru)  
** Let's see...

 _'_ _A strategy, huh...'_

Man.

If I wasn't nervous before, their intent stares are testing my nerves now.

* * *

 **(Cookie)  
** Nope—been there done that.

 **(Takeru)  
**. . .

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** _Nuh-uh_. Tried that more times than I have bones.

 **(Takeru)  
**. . .

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** Sorry, Shirogane.  
That doesn't work against them, they'd see right through it.

 **(Takeru)  
**. . .

Every single one of my suggestions has been shut down so far.

I must've underestimated the number of times they've done simulation battles against each other; I'd thought for sure that they'd place more focus on hive infiltrations.

 **(Cookie)  
** That's not true!  
Anego can be very competitive against her own teammates, you know.  
More so than the actual BETA, sometimes!

 _Ergh!_

I didn't even say that out loud!

Can she read my inner thoughts?!

 **(Cookie)  
** Like a book, you goof!

 _'_ _But—seriously.'_

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** We've caught a lucky break this time, however.  
You'd normally have Kukiko on the other team.

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** _And their teamwork is nasty..._

Mitsuki mumbles, and I barely missed out on hearing her.

Cookie's expression looks slightly shocked, from what I can tell, probably from taking what Mitsuki just said as a compliment (although I don't think she had meant that as one).

 _Ah,_ but of course.

Takahashi and the Fukui twins all being a part of Dellingr squadron together—Cookie usually being on the opposing team shouldn't come as a surprise.

And while I would like to say that I've witnessed their teamwork first-hand during our debut meeting—in that hive infiltration simulation we went through—I honestly can't. I was too preoccupied myself to pay attention to the three of them, who at the time were all still strangers to me.

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** As you can tell, our vanguard is running short on manpower at the moment.  
We've lost three able lieutenants within the last year alone.

Hearing that, I briefly break eye contact... but Capt. Michiru seems to have paid me no mind.

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** Kukiko used to be the Storm of Squadron 8, so she fits into the Front Flight nicely.  
And I'll have to cover a slot in the team for now, just for this practice course, at least.

Kind of her to not make any mention of our run-in the other evening.

Perhaps the only way to return the favour, and likewise to not let Lt. Hayase and Cookie down, is by finding a way to win over this simulation battle.

They frankly sound like they want to win more than I do—and I've a feeling that Takahashi's untarnished record might have something to do with their earnest desires.

Thus, as it stands.

Us being the aggressors, the Vanguard.

The opposing team being the defenders, the Rearguard.

It'll be on us to bring the battle right to the opponents' faces. That in itself already puts us at a disadvantage, since we'd have to somehow close the gap between us without taking too heavy of a damage.

No different from going against the BETA and their long range Laser Classes.

 _Hmmm..._

There is one strategy I have not suggested just yet...

 **(Takeru)  
** Hayase-chui, could you beat Takahashi one-on-one if we bring you to him safely?

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** _Eh? Etooo..._

She ponders, _'I hate to admit—I'm not a hundred percent comfortable with a direct match-up. Especially since he's caught on to the XM3 much quicker than I have.'_

That's the first I've heard of anything but a confident assertion out of Mitsuki.

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** You could do it though, Shirogane.  
It'd be close, but—intuition tells me you'd come out the victor against Takahashi.

And here I was trying to avoid that scenario at all costs...

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** You look like you've come up with a plan?

Capt. Michiru, without faltering in her composure, encourages me.

 **(Takeru)  
** I'll give it my best shot...  
Alright—hear me out.

This might simply be a simulated battle—an improved simulated battle in upgraded simulators, actually—but the plan I am about to share, so long as it brings me unscathed into enemy territory, guarantees our team certain victory.

Though it also means everyone else will have to give up their simulated lives.

* * *

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** Risky risky, Shirogane.

 _'_ _Bold and brave, yet risky all the same,'_ Hayase shakes and nods her head without really favouring one over the other.

 **(Lt. Hayase)  
** I like it.

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** _Mmmm_.  
I can't deny that it's something we've never tried before.  
And it's terribly simple I can't believe it hasn't been brought up until now.  
Who knows—it might catch them off-guard.

 _'_ _Hear that, Shirogane? Your plan got the go-ahead from Captain herself!'_ Lt. Hayase Mitsuki grins at me.

 **(Takeru)  
** Just like that?

They've accepted it rather willingly.

Too willingly—it's almost frightening.

 **(Capt. Isumi)  
** Without a doubt.  
Besides, new ideas are best attempted within the safety of the simulators.

 _'_ _Or are you surprised I've agreed to this chancy plan of yours too readily?'_

 **(Takeru)  
** N–no Ma'am.

I recover myself.

She has a fair point. I do not doubt that the prudent Capt. Michiru would give this a great deal more thought had I brought this up in the midst of an actual mission and not just a phony simulation.

That puts me at ease somewhat.

True—it was I who came up with this do-or-die strategy we're about to execute, but still, my stomach churns at the thought of having to throw lives away for the sake of the mission—simulated or otherwise.

The past still haunts me, at the back of my mind...

Speaking of which.

Or of whom.

Someone is being awfully quiet.

 **(Takeru)  
** Cookie?

There hasn't been a peep out of her.

 **(Takeru)  
** Coooookie, you listening?  
We're about to begin.

 **(Cookie)  
** Oh! Okay!  
Hold on a second—!  
I've been waiting this whole time, don't make it sound like it's my fault!

Fault for what?

 _Uhh,_ is she sulking?

Is our plan not to her liking?

Or, since it's Cookie I'm talking to—does she not like the low survivability aspect of this strategy?

 **(Cookie)  
** I don't care much for it; it's only a simulation, after all.

 _'_ _Simulated deaths don't scare me,'_ affirms Cookie.

Something still appears to be bothering her, however.

 **(Cookie)  
** _Tonikaku—  
_ Keru-niichan, you're placing too much priority on Aniki, you know.

 **(Takeru)  
** Am I, now?

I'm quite familiar with the extent of Lt. Munakata Misae and Kashiwagi Haruko's capabilities, if I do say so myself.

From everything I've gathered about Ichimonji Takahashi up until the present, I would say he's our biggest threat, and Capt. Isumi and Lt. Hayase sound like they've arrived at the same conclusion.

 **(Cookie)  
** I don't know about that.  
You seem to be forgetting about one more person.

Cookie grumbles rather nonchalantly, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world and I were a fool for forgetting something so obvious.

It's no secret that she takes joy in making me feel the fool...

 **(Takeru)  
** You mean Ryuuseiu?

Now that she mentions it—I've honestly completely overlooked the guy.

I have no clue as to what his surface piloting skills are like.

 **(Cookie)  
** Skill-wise... there's nothing that stands out about him.  
My mediocre baby brother is kinda ordinary in that department.  
He's extraordinarily ordinary, if you would.  
And yet _—_

 _You know, Keru-niichan._

 _Even with this do-or-die strategy of yours._

 _Now that he's on the opposite side, he gives me the shivers more so than even Aniki._

You probably should've brought this up way beforehand, Cookie...

 **(Cookie)**  
And I'm not just saying this because he's my baby brother.

 **(Takeru)  
** How do you mean, exactly?

With the countdown beginning and little time remaining, I take one last effort to fish for any information that might help fill the gaps in my existing knowledge.

 **(Cookie)**  
If it were that simple to explain, I would've already told you why!

 **(Takeru)  
** Is Ryuuseiu the brains to Takahashi's brawns?

That distribution of talent is rampant in all forms of movies, video games and _manga_ that I've read in the past. You can't have one overwhelming, overpowered character, so there would usually be another side character to compensate for his or her shortcomings.

As soon as I mention that, though, I'm reminded of a conversation I had with Tama, and how naive that way of thinking really is...

 **(Cookie)  
** What the hell have you been reading and watching, Keru-niichan?  
That's not at all how it works in the real world!

 _'_ _And especially not in the case of Aniki and Ryuu-nii,'_ the deafening alarms of the starting signal drowns out the last of Fukui Kukiko's sentence.

* * *

 _Author's Note:_

 _Situational update._

 _My new work schedule has made it difficult to write as often as I used to. This entails that releases aren't as frequent as I had originally intended, so I would like to apologize in advance for the increase in wait times._

 _Having said that, I will try to release one chapter a month at the very minimum. I do still keep a few future chapters in reserve, so sometimes it may be more than that._

 _Lastly (although this doesn't benefit you in the slightest)—I hoped to release this chapter along with the next in order not to break its continuity, but work on Chapter 29 was caught up around the same time my work schedule changed. I still thought it'd be best to go ahead with this chapter's release to at least let everyone know I'm still here._

 _PS: My characterization of 'past' Hayase Mitsuki, along with Taira Shinji and Narumi Takayuki, stems from Kimi ga Nozomu Eien._


	29. Kink in the Plans

**Chapter 29 – Kink in the Plans**

* * *

 **Chizuru**

* * *

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** Is this everybody?

 **(Chizuru)  
** Yes Ma'am...

I nervously reply, trying my hardest to maintain eye contact.

Clumsy, clumsy me!

Did I seriously believe we could just waltz our way in and casually watch Shirogane's match without repercussion?

Well...

We really could have, had we not been caught.

And true to our luck—we've been caught.

I can't even look Akane in the eye; it's embarrassing enough that I had convinced her assistance in this ordeal. No amount of apologies could possibly excuse the predicament I have now implicated her and her squadmates in.

First things first, I have to own up to my wrongdoing for my squad as a whole.

 **(Chizuru)**  
—!

As I brace myself to let known my remorse, the Adjutant Commander speaks ahead of me.

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** Good.  
Now you lot, follow me.

However, instead of walking to the exit (I'd imagined we would have to change venues for the Professor to dole out our punishment), she heads to the direction opposite, deeper into the room instead.

First Lt. Suzumiya, Akane, Takada, Majima and Tsukiji chase after her without another moment's delay, while the rest of us spare a minute or so to exchange looks of daze at this completely unanticipated turn of events.

The wayward Ayamine is the first to accept the invitation as she takes the initiative and shuffles herself into the pack.

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** Don't make me repeat myself.  
Should anyone lose their way inside this atrium, you will be taken for a trespasser.  
The punishment for that is of the highest order.

Breaking our daze, we scurry to the back of the group like our lives depended on it. Not because I was unsure whether the Professor had said that in jest or not, but because I honestly hadn't the stomach to find out whether that really was a joke or not...

* * *

As we pace behind the XO (in awkward silence), the contents of the room slowly come into focus.

My glasses hadn't been fogging or smudging up—rather, the lighting in the room improved along with our stride.

This room is deceivingly spacious.

Had I been told that we were still within the perimeter of Yokohama Base, I might've scoffed then and there. Howbeit, no two ways about it, that would be the sincere truth—in front of my very eyes.

Good thing you haven't embarrassed yourself aloud, Sakaki Chizuru.

 _Phew_.

Anyway.

In this deceivingly spacious room are—one, five, nine— _nine_ rows of what looks to be a compartment of sorts. A compartment large enough to house a—

A TSF cockpit, for instance.

 **(Akane)  
** Those are simulators, by the by.

 **(Tamase)  
** Simulators?

 **(Tsukiji Tae)  
** S-s-simulators.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Is that so...

I see Tsukiji hasn't changed. She still clings to Akane's shadow, as she had always been known to do. And her stuttering, nervous front ends at just that—a front. One she has shown great commitment to, and one that hasn't fooled me.

The real Tsukiji can get wild as a cat when crunch time arrives.

 **(Yoroi)  
** _Whoahahah~!_

Yoroi hushes herself halfway through her awe (that would be an understatement—Yoroi's eyes had almost taken the shape of hearts and stars), as Prof. Kouzuki addresses us with the likeness of a tour guide.

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** When you pass your Evaluation, you'd get to spend your days in this room. Until then, however, touch nothing and don't even think about making yourselves comfortable.

I'm not merely fantasizing all this...

We really are in the fabled simulations room, where Eishis-in-training get a handle on a simulated TSF before being sent out to the genuine article. Jinguuji-kyoukan had mentioned this once or twice, though I suppose we have to pass the CCSE before we could be obliged with further information and instruction.

Also, the Professor allowing us passage means.

We really get to watch Shirogane.

Honest to goodness truth—I so, so verily want to watch this joust between him and that lieutenant, because... because this would be my first experience witnessing an actual Tactical Surface Fighter in combat!

Not because I want to hear more about Shirogane's _'secret'_.

Not because the manner in which the lieutenant mentioned it sounded as though it were one filled with foreboding and malice.

Not because—

You're at it again, Sakaki Chizuru, _mmph!_

Perhaps most intriguing of all was the look in the lieutenant's eyes when he confronted us. It made me feel like—Shirogane's secret has something to do with _us_.

As though the secret involves me, Sakaki Chizuru.

Ayamine.

Tamase.

Yoroi.

And Mitsurugi.

I don't want to buy it... and yet...

Shirogane accepting it is akin to confirming its existence, is it not?

And here I'd been admiring how palpable he's been...

I thought I'd found comfort in knowing that Shirogane is nothing like my false past.

I mean—even if you are holding secrets, if your secrets involve us, do we not have a right to know what it is? Maybe, maybe it's something we could help you with, Shirogane! Or it might be like the type that becomes lighter to bear once shared!

Maybe it has something to do with the bittersweet dreams I've been having—!

 _Ngkkk!_

Be still, and stop rambling, Chizuru.

I know for a fact I'd never be able to say these words to him outright...

I just don't have the courage...

I wish I had a fraction.

If only I were more forthright in matters of the heart, like that hack Ayamine when she hoodwinked Shirogane into calling her by her first name...

. . .

. . .

. . .

 _Errr—_

Stop staring at me like you know what I'm thinking of, Ayamine. And wipe that look of indifference that reads _'I know everything'_ off your pompous face.

Leave me alone.

These are concerns I have only because he's part of my squad.

That's it. That's all there is to this.

There is no deeper meaning.

Right.

I'm just being a responsible Class Rep— _errr,_ Squad Leader, rather.

 _Uh-huh._

 **(Chizuru)  
** Mitsurugi?

 **(Mitsurugi)  
** Sakaki.

 _'You look unusually solemn,'_ I remark, looking to occupy my mind with anything but my current course of thought.

Mitsurugi herself appears to be deep in contemplation as well.

 **(Mitsurugi)  
** When—she said.

 **(Chizuru)  
** _Ara?_

I'm not quite following her.

What is on Mitsurugi's mind, I wonder.

 **(Mitsurugi)  
** Earlier, Kouzuki-hakase spoke, ' _When_ you pass.'

 _'She forwent using the conditional word 'if','_ Mitsurugi brings to light.

From nowhere (actually—to the left of me), Ayamine utters out of turn:

 **(Ayamine)  
** We're passing that CCSE come this weekend.  
She does not doubt it.

 **(Chizuru)  
** Y—right...

 _Ackh!_

How did Ayamine catch that before me?!

* * *

 **(Lt. Suzumiya Haruka)  
** Welcome to the Command Post.

Akane's big sister begins an introductory speech as we leave the concourse behind us and all settle into another room about thrice the size of our classroom, though a major portion of the floor space is dedicated to rows upon rows of computer workstations while the walls are crammed with display screens almost the size of my bunk room door.

 **(Yoroi)  
** You never mentioned your sister still works here, Akane-san. She's become so pretty, I'm blue with envy!

Yoroi whispers.

 **(Akane)  
** Don't even think about it.  
 _Onee-san_ has a boyfriend.

 **(Tamase)  
** Wha—?!

 **(Ayamine)  
** Bluff...  
Yoroi still has a chance.  
Take it, you must.

With her arms on her hips, Yoroi rebukes Ayamine.

 **(Yoroi)  
** Nice try, Kei-san!  
You just want Takeru for yourself, don't you—

Although another matter nabs her interest.

I've read somewhere that goldfishes have more impressive attention spans than Yoroi Mikoto...

 **(Yoroi)  
** _Ah!_ That uniform looks pretty on you, Takahara-san~!  
Mind if I try on your skirt~?

 **(Akane)  
** _Ahaha~.  
_ Your squad's a loose cannon, Chizuru.

 **(Yoroi)  
** Though it's not near as classy as Kasumi-san's!  
 _Nee,_ Kasumi-san~?

 **(Yashiro)  
**. . .

I'm too preoccupied to listen to their repartee, though.

Because I've been eyeing the deluge of closed-circuit monitors in an attempt to locate Shirogane's feed.

While doing so, however—

An ongoing conversation in the screens on one end of the room garners my curiosity, even after realizing that Shirogane is not member to this particular crew.

Kashiwagi Haruko, Valkyrie-09, a former accomplice of 207, is the only face and voice I can positively identify. The other three I should be able to safely make an educated deduction based on Asakura's mention of how the rosters had been split.

Under the callsign Valkyrie-04, Lt. Misae, a name inherently feminine (and I'm guessing that's her given name, since Asakura has a tendency to acquaint herself on a first name basis), should be the other dame in the team.

And of course there's Lt. Ichimonji Takahashi, Valkyrie-02, the stalwart ex-Colonel of the Imperial Army Honour Guard whose feats I've heard of ever since I was a child (only to one day disappear from every news outlet in the nation).

He looks different from what I recall, but then again, my memories of ten some years ago aren't exactly unmarred.

And finally.

Valkyrie-07, by virtue of elimination, should be the lieutenant we encountered in the practice field.

The lieutenant who, be it happenstance or elsewise, shares the same raven hair (along with the southern Kyushu intonation) as Shirogane's latest— _erm,_ associate—Fukui Kukiko.

Asakura had called him 'Ryuu-kun', though I'm not certain if that's a derivation of some other title. It's tough to tell, but by itself, the name Ryuu would then literally connote the word _'dragon.'_ Popular a name as it may be, it is however more likely to be an alias for any number of longer names, a myriad of which comes to mind—so I'd best leave it at simply 'Ryuu' for the time being.

Oh, but before I delve any deeper, I must comment that, in addition—

The videos being captured are astoundingly comprehensive.

Every contestant has a live feed of their cockpit interior with them sitting in the captain's chair, as well as the vantage point of their respective simulated TSFs. Moreover, the largest, central monitor provides an outlook from where we can view the entire landscape of the overall virtual simulation.

Talk about thorough—it borders the definition of overkill.

This would make a wondrous training and learning center, truly. And I can't wait for my turn to be a part of this.

 **(Majima Takahara)  
** Tamase-san, what has you all abashed~?  
Your cheeks are as red as an apple~.

 **(Tamase)  
** _Auwahwahwah—  
_ That getup they have on, is that something we'd have to wear too?

 **(Tsukiji Tae)  
** D-d-do you mean the f-f-fortified suits?

 **(Akane)  
** Why in the world do you sound more skittish than Tamase?!

 **(Tsukiji Tae)  
** _Nhyaa!_  
Y-y-yes Ma'am!  
P-p-please don't hit me!

 **(Akane)  
** Great...  
Now everyone will think I hit you quite frequently.

She rolls her eyes.

 **(Takada Asakura)  
** That's standard military issue.  
There's no way around it, Miki-san.

 **(Ayamine)  
** I want one.

 **(Yoroi)  
** _Ahahaha~.  
_ I want some apples too, Takahara-san.  
Are there any trees in the area, or do we have to plant them ourselves?  
Oh no! But I don't have my climbing shoes on!

 **(Chizuru)  
**. . .

This is _not_ the conversation I've been trying to listen in on.

 _*sigh*_

Looks like I'll have to expend a little more effort in tuning them out...

* * *

 **Takahashi**

* * *

 _Dark._

 _Empty._

 _Nothingness._

 _Sound._

 _Breathing._

 _In._

 _Out._

 _Air._

 _Oxygen._

 _Blood._

 _Spill._

 _Slaughter._

 _Enemy._

 _Mission._

 _Accomplish._

 _Fulfillment._

 _Reason._

 _Duty._

 _Life._

 _Dark._

 _Empty._

 _Nothingness._

* * *

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** What do you mean she's on the other side?!

 **(Munakata)  
** What part of _'she's on the other side'_ do you not grasp?  
Need I mention it over, slower this time?

 _'And try saying that again with extra exclamation marks,'_ Munakata's voice fades toward the end while she places more and more focus into rubbing the insides of her ears. _'You haven't ruptured my eardrums enough quite yet.'_

Upon Ryuu's belated arrival, the news that his sister was moved to the opposite team has since placed him in transparent unrest.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** This ain't something to joke about, Munakata-san.  
When was this decided, and who decided that?

He had barely taken his seat in his cockpit when he arrived at the realization that in Fukui Kukiko's usual position sat Second Lt. Kashiwagi Haruko instead.

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** Is something the matter, LT?

The unperturbed Kashiwagi is wearing the same cool expression in the face of her troubled superior (albeit younger) ranking officer.

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** Prof. Kouzuki arranged the teams herself, though I guess you were not yet present when she made the announcement.

 **(Munakata)  
** _Mh-hmm.  
_ Let that be a lesson in punctuality for us all.  
We thank you for your sacrifice, Ryuuseiu.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Can it, will you.  
It's not like I was late on purpose.

 _Now would not be the time to rattle cages, Munakata. His ire is not as trite, nor as unfounded, as you might believe._

I only think this thought, not wanting to give it voice lest it interferes with my pre-deployment reflections.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Damn her meddling, even in this—

 **(Munakata)  
** _Whoa_ now.  
I'd mind my tongue if I were you, Ryuuseiu.

I ought to remember to thank Munakata once this is over. Ryuu was getting painfully close to spitting something dangerous across the intercom—in a channel everyone in the control center is privy to, to boot.

Yuuko had better not be listening to any of this.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** _Hmph.  
_ Hell if I care whether she'd heard me or not.

 **(Munakata)  
** My oh my.  
The lad doth protest much, yes he does.

Munakata Misae is well maintaining her composure for now (using her own unique brand of humour as a vehicle), which I assume is how Kashiwagi is likewise able to act her natural self though thrust into this shaky quandary.

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** _Ahaha~.  
_ Like a hatchling plucked from the mother hen.

 _'Reminds me of my two little brothers,'_ chuckles Kashiwagi, a mirthful glimmer in her eyes.

Two brothers, she says.

This is the first she's made mention of her family tree, far as I'm aware.

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** But Ryuu-san.  
Is it that big of a deal if you and Kuki-chui are split into different teams?  
I mean—it's just one match, right?

 _'Kkh,'_ Ryuu responds with a scoff in place of words.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** I can't be pitted against _Onee-chan_...

 **(Munakata)  
** Oi oi oi.  
She's on the other side now, whether you like it or not.

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** If anything else, _uhh_.  
You could just pretend she isn't there.  
Like she's someone else, maybe?

 **(Munakata)  
** Sage advice, Kashiwagi.  
That I've done on several memorable occasions.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Don't—!

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** _Hoh_ —have you really, Lt. Munakata?

 **(Munakata)  
** Why, naturally.  
In the bed, on the counter, in the shower.  
I'm a pro at envisioning the fantasy realm.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
**. . . **  
**I tried to warn you...

 _'Aniki!'_ the kid sternly names me, much to my distaste.

I've been hitherto able to remain a bystander and set aside their discourse to the back of my mind, posturing myself in preparation for the approaching contest. That my concentration has been disrupted leaves me with a lingering ache in the sides of my head, similar to awakening in the height of a REM cycle.

That, by the by, is the worst moment to wake up to.

And 'tis no pleasant feeling.

Even more disappointing since Ryuu should know better than to distract me in the moments prior to assignment.

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** _Ano,_ Ryuu-san _.  
_ Lt. Takahashi looks like he's napping.  
Maybe we shouldn't disturb hi—

 **(Munakata)  
** _Tut-tut,_ rookie mistake, Kashiwagi.  
Just because his eyes are closed doesn't mean he's napping.  
He could be passed out, for all we know.

But Ryuu disregards Kashiwagi and Munakata, speaking over them both.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** What say you in all this?  
I'd rather leave than waste our time playing Kouzuki-sensei's games—

 **(Takahashi)  
** Sit yourself down, Ryuuseiu.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** But Aniki—!

 **(Takahashi)  
** Sit.  
Yourself.

 _'Down.'_

Out of indignation, perhaps shock, or even perhaps the plain desire to cause a scene, Ryuu had lifted himself off his chair and motioned toward the exit to his cockpit, hence I can't help but be firm about this churlish, immature outbreak.

Though admittedly, ever since they'd been uprooted from their hometown of Naha, I've had to deal with many a tantrums from the brother-sister duo whenever I'd had to separate them, making me somewhat of a connoisseur in handling matters of this kind.

I've come to be cognizant that separation must be an unnatural sensation to the twins.

And while they've been parted for other designations in the past, this being the very first instance they've been set apart in a _team battle_ scenario (that is to say, _versus_ one another), and as abruptly as it was imposed on him—I cannot wholeheartedly castigate Ryuu for demonstrating the symptoms of shock and thereby panic in retaliation.

The blow might've been alleviated had it been I who was transferred in Kuki's stead, as we had done from time to time. However, in this specific circumstance, doing so might've duly stacked the Vanguard fleet whilst diminishing the Rearguard into a lopsided contest.

Not that a looming, overwhelming foe would intimidate the siblings in the slightest, and I'd hate to again have to witness my own guidance being used against me. (They've defeated me once or twice, and it's a mixture of pride and shame being overthrown by my own stratagems).

The age for youth to trounce experience has yet to come, and I've every intention of delaying it for as long as I possibly can. For that time will doubtless arrive, though presently, it is not to be.

Now, as for Kuki—she must be faring better than her brother over this affair, otherwise we would've heard a racket in the open channel by now.

One would think that a hyperbole, but...

That may be so, otherwise—she might at least be wearing the braver face as par for the course.

 _Hmm._

Par for the course.

Poor choice of phrase, I must say.

To claim that Ryuu is no less braver, while not entirely true, is not entirely false either. 'Tis a rare incidence, but I have personally bore witness to feats of courage in the field of battle managed by none other than Ryuuseiu himself. Granted—such incidents have _extraordinary_ conditions, and I do mean _extraordinary_ , thus they are few and far between. Even so, they happen nonetheless.

And in all my years of warfare, having Fukui Ryuuseiu watch over my six is a reassurance I cannot say of anyone else.

Although.

In truth, his present frame of mind is worthy of concern.

It is in no way healthy to laden oneself with worries when carrying out our duties.

Anyhow.

I digress.

There is not much else I can do but see this through, with or without Ryuuseiu.

With a grimace, the kid returns to his post and proceeds to reattach his buckles.

 **(Munakata)  
** You'll have to teach me how to do that one of these days. Pretty please, Takahashi-san.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Too late, Munakata.  
He's in the deep end now.  
Look—he can't even hear us, probably.

 **(Munakata)  
** _Gah,_ a second too late.  
I'll remind him again once we're through.  
Knowing how to whip Ryuuseiu into shape is too good a trick to pass up.  
Kashiwagi, remind me to remind Lt. Takahashi.

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** _Uhmm,_ this might sound silly, or maybe I completely missed it, buuut.  
What's our action plan, exactly?

Alarms come alive to signify the countdown to launch, in T-minus ten.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** You've watched our drills before, have you not?

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** I suppose I've studied the formations, and Suzumiya and I have done a few dry runs together. Still, which one are we using—

 **(Munakata)  
** Fret not, Kashiwagi.  
As the defensive, sticking to one definite strategy is a practice in futility. Our plan of action changes along with the enemy's, and boy does it change plenty.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Stay on your toes and stick to Munakata like glue.  
For now, that'll do.

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** Alright.  
Roger that, LT.  
I'm guessing you'll be dishing out the instructions, then.

 _'Strange—I'd been under the impression Takahashi-san would assume chain of command.'_

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Him? Oh, you wouldn't want to pull him out once he's in it, believe me.

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** _Ahaha~._  
It's all good, LT.  
I think I'm getting a better understanding of you.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** I don't think you are.

 **(Kashiwagi)  
** _Heh~.  
_ Like I said, I have little brothers too~.

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Yeah, whatever.  
You keep thinking that.  
You ready, Aniki?

 _Dark._

 _Empty._

 _Nothingness._

 **(Countdown)  
** 3\. . .

 **(Munakata)  
** You better satisfy me, Shirogane.

 _Slaughter._

 _Enemy._

 **(Countdown)  
** 2\. . .

 **(Ryuuseiu)  
** Y'all deal with _Onee-chan_.  
Otherwise—

 _Mission._

 _Accomplish._

 **(Countdown)  
** 1\. . .

 _Duty._

 _Life._

And as I slowly open my eyes.

 _Light._

* * *

 **Chizuru**

* * *

What.

In the.

World?

I wasn't alone in letting out a gasp.

The room had been momentarily filled with a chorus of it, matter of fact.

For good reason.

That was an outrageous act of sheer mayhem.

Carried out by a solo TSF.

He just crashed himself, headlong—into the heart of the enemy formation.


	30. Breaking Point I

_AN: Simultaneous release. Start with Chapter 29._

* * *

 **Chapter 30 – Breaking Point I**

* * *

 **Meiya**

* * *

The backdrop in effect is that of an extensive forest.

Trees with trunks thick as the bulwarks of the Imperial Palace stand side by side aplenty, for which I wager would make an onerous task of navigating and maneuvering. I must however say—that the bipedal vehicles we call _Senjutsukis_ (burly machines that they are) are more agile and mobile than they appear have come to me as a wonder.

Growing up, I had caught glimpses of a small number of _Senjutsukis_ at home within the Mitsurugi household, though seldom had I ever seen them in full function as I am seeing them tonight.

It has not been long from when the battle commenced.

Both parties had begun on antipodal regions of the arena.

Upon the sound of the starting siren, the vanguard platoon sortied with breakneck haste, sparing no rest in the scouting effort.

In the interim, Flight C had since established a defensive perimeter. They have strayed not too far from their initial positions, scattering and thereafter distancing themselves equally, though not too far, one from another, finding cover in the camouflage of the surrounding forestry.

I still struggle to believe that the monitors on these walls are a portrayal of a simulated environment.

This broadcast is remarkable in its graphic and detail that I have already a few times forgotten that the spectacle we are witnessing is but a virtual reality and not a true to life scenery.

I never could have fathomed that, stories underneath the lecture rooms we occupy day by day, we would be in possession of this degree of modern technology.

It is nothing short of staggering.

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** JIVES.

 _'Planet Earth's state-of-the-art, most technologically advanced simulating system to date, purchased from the UN's Yukon Headquarters,'_ the Adjutant Commander announces without being asked as though to satisfy the unspoken question occupying the air, in a tone so natural and eloquent I was for the moment convinced we were her class and she had been administering one of our lectures.

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** It's been outfitted into each and every simulator.  
Even the farthest ones that haven't been used in a long while.

 _'You wouldn't be able to tell apart simulation from reality when you're in the pilot's seat. Trust me,'_ I happen to heed Takada Asakura whispering to Tamase, _'they might as well be riding actual TSFs in a jungle somewhere.'_

 _'G-g-gone are the d-d-days of paintballs and c-c-cushioned swords,'_ stutters Tsukiji Tae while puffing one side of her cheeks.

 _'Even the paintballs and practice blades didn't recoil as badly as this new feedback system,'_ the younger Suzumiya adds.

Abruptly, the older Suzumiya clears her throat aloud, alerting her sibling and her colleagues that their conversation had not been as hushed as they had presumed.

 **(Lt. Suzumiya Haruka)  
** JIVES, in conjunction with our already well-developed simulator structures, allows for that authentic, lifelike TSF riding experience.

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** Not even Yukon has the luxury of an isolated cockpit compartment such as ours.

 **(Lt. Suzumiya Haruka)  
** Further, the same haptic tactile sensors we have in the pressure-sensitive cabin seats have now been integrated into the body suits to a certain degree.

Second Lt. Majima chimes in, _'Ohh~, I thought you had said that for sport, lieutenant~.'_

 **(Ayamine)  
** A joke?

 **(Majima Takahara)  
** Suzumiya-chui had earlier teased she could simulate the feeling of a punch in the gut, and the new training wear would actually punch me in the gut~!

The next to speak does so without pausing to breathe in a pace so fast I had to dedicate both ears to sufficiently comprehend her.

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** Not quite, Majima. To shed light on nuance—the fortified suit does not 'punch you.' It _recreates_ the feeling of a punch by receiving the kinesthetic feedback signal from the external source—in this case, from Suzumiya's remote control interface, or the simulated environment you're in—and responding in kind by applying forces as well as touches on the wearer's skin, illuding the wearer into a false sensation. A haptic punch is no more than a mechanical stimulation in the affected area of the suit.

 _'We've merely enhanced proprietary technology in the seats and extended it to the apparel, all in order to fully take advantage of JIVES.'_

 _'These sensors are unique to the training attire, mind you,'_ First Lt. Suzumiya says reassuringly, _'to aid you in getting acclimated to what an actual TSF would feel like.'_

 **(Lt. Suzumiya Haruka)  
** I've no such 'punching' power over the standard Eishi ensemble.

 _'Thank goodness for that,'_ Suzumiya Akane winces under her breath.

 _'In any event, Yukon never would've been able to utilize JIVES to its full potential,'_ the Professor meanwhile busies her fingers, manipulating the viewing angle of the multiple live video feeds. _'It's in more able hands, now that it's under my care.'_

Then, briefly glancing at us, a reunion of the entirety of the original Squadron 207, she pronounces with an air of caution:

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** This didn't come cheap.  
Let it not go to waste.

* * *

There had been a trace of finality in her tone of voice, so I hearken back to the ongoing fray in the foreground.

Up until Kouzuki-hakase's short briefing of this supposedly recent acquisition from a sister UN site, like Sakaki, I had been transfixed on the monitor displays above us. Perhaps for similar reason—I had been enamoured by the conversations that had transpired within both rosters.

Both of which I was able to overhear.

None of which I wish to touch upon.

For now that the tempo of the scrimmage has quickened, I would fall behind were I to remain transfixed, so my opinions on their dialogue will have to hold.

Flight B, the Vanguard flight with Shirogane, is comprised of the following radio names:

Valkyrie-01  
Valkyrie-03  
Valkyrie-06  
Valkyrie-13

Shirogane being 13, his newly-met companion, Fukui Kukiko, falling under 06.

01 and 03—I am unable to identify at present.

Shirogane's platoon is yet in the midst of locating the foe, and their radio channel is brimming with the constant exchange of information.

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
** Status report.

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** Coast is still clear.

 **(Valkyrie-13)  
** Nothing on this end.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Damnit! I bet those jokers haven't even taken off yet!

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
** We can't be certain.  
Keep your eyes peeled and continue the sweep.

 **(Valkyrie-03 | Valkyrie-06 | Valkyrie-13)  
** Roger! | Wilco! | Understood.

In contrast, Takahashi's platoon stays camped and unmoving, with slow, steady breathing the sole audible noise over the team transmission.

It is not as though they are whispering or speaking in soft voices, either. If I were to tune in more closely to Flight C's comms line, I might perceive one other sound—that of static interference.

Radio silence.

However—

Flight C's vitals tell another story.

The lines and charts quantifying their heart rates, cerebral activity, as well as their hormone levels, are full of vim and vigour. Hence, while they might not be boasting the same physical exertion as Flight B, they stand on higher ground in the mental landscape.

Takahashi must have reached zen calm.

He carries the handle Valkyrie-02.

Valkyrie-09 belongs to Second Lt. Kashiwagi Haruko.

Valkyrie-04 must be, according to Takada, Lt. Misae.

And lastly—Valkyrie-07—to wit, the lieutenant from a few days prior.

Observing his video feed, he looks to be around our age, perhaps younger.

However, even more noteworthy would be his vital readings in the adjacent monitor—how is he matching Takahashi's level of calm? This, to me, is a startling development.

They are in a state of wait, so I suppose it would only be a natural psychological state.

Even so... this preternatural intentness of his leaves me somewhat ill at ease...

But for now—

All of the Rearguard's eyes are locked on their radar scanners in anticipation of the invading flight. Which, by the by, is about to broach shooting distance.

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** Targets sighted!  
All four of them!

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** I knew it!  
They're all huddled up at the starting point!

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
** Don't lose focus just yet, 06!  
Now, form up—!

On the contenders' commlink, I hear a mumble.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** If you see us, that would mean we see you too.

There was a breath's pause.

And then—it hailed bullets.

They showered the other side of the map by the thousands.

Valkyries 04 and 09 are emptying their magazines at—Valkyrie-13.

At Shirogane.

And Shirogane, who in the meantime had been out of position and en route to rendezvous with his flight, sidesteps the salvo of projectiles aimed at him with practiced ease, leaving a wake of earth and leaves wherever the bullets had missed and landed.

It is apparent that Suzumiya had not understated Shirogane's command of a _Senjutsuki_. His is not the measure of a mere third-year flight academy cadet, even if he had truly been transferred from another branch.

 **(Valkyrie-13)  
** —!

 **(Meiya)  
** —!

Amidst the 36mm rounds being sent Shirogane's way, one projectile in particular forces him to execute a more deliberate maneuver, otherwise not doing so would have spelled his certain end.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Are you alright, _Onee-chan?!_

 **(Valkyrie-13)  
** _Tch._

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** That was razor close.  
I never would've seen that coming.

For a lone 120mm armour-piercing shell, cloaked in the thick of the volley and the neighbouring forest, had found a path squarely into Shirogane's solar plexus (or, more accurately—his virtual _Senjutsuki's_ ).

And it would have struck him, had he not justly reacted.

If I might, for now, liken it to a swordfight—where I lunge my katana at his bosom in a stabbing motion only for him to swing his torso and lean one shoulder forward and one shoulder aft. Not only would he tactfully evade my sword's trajectory, but he seizes its tip using his underarms.

That would be but a sword—a cannon is a different matter altogether.

In what I surmise had been a moment of pure intuition, judging that he had no time to jump out of harm's way, he jet-boosted and lifted one side of his upper body sideward at a slant, just enough so that the cannon whizzed past the modest triangular gap between the _Senjutsuki's_ hips, arms and chest, brushing off an insignificant amount of metal from the waist in its course. A dynamic and remarkable awareness of his machine's disposition, Shirogane has demonstrated.

The resulting collision behind Valkyrie-13 had left trees ablaze and a crater the size of our living quarters, though I am mayhaps blowing the number out of scale.

Meanwhile, fumes still seeping out of his Assault Cannon's barrel, 07 tenses his shooting hand.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** _Huh.  
_ I missed.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** _Hoh_ —that's rare.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** Why'd we have to start with the toughest target, LT?  
 _*nervous chuckle*_

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** We should've taken out that muscle-for-brains Hayase instead.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** This one's a monster...  
 _Hah._

The lieutenant shakes his head to and fro.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Fuck it. Spilt juice and all that shit.

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
** We move.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Right.  
Fall back for now.

 **(Valkyrie-02 | Valkyrie-04 | Valkyrie-09)  
** Copy that.

As Flight C turns tail in the reverse wedge formation (Takahashi safeguarding the rear, the rest in the lead), Shirogane's platoon finally gathers and assumes battle formation.

Forthwith begins their pursuit on the retreating Rearguard.


	31. Breaking Point II

_AN: Simultaneous release. Start with Chapter 29._

* * *

 **Chapter 31 – Breaking Point II**

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

That was—fucking close.

Pardon my French.

He'd managed to clip a chunk of alloy around my waistline, but luckily enough, none of that had been connected to any of my neural circuits. After running a cursory diagnosis, I've confirmed that nothing integral had been lost.

Now I'm just twenty pounds lighter.

Not my first choice of a weight loss routine.

Boy did that rock me off my chair though.

Still.

That bastard.

He was going for the killshot, wasn't he.

But he got greedy and went with the more bogged-down 120mm sabot-discarding slug as opposed to the 36mm shell, though admittedly, a 36mm _might_ have disabled me while the 120mm would have outright _disabled_ me—permanently.

Not to mention he had cleverly concealed his one and only shot by intermingling it with the preliminary barrage from Kashiwagi and Lt. Munakata.

My instincts took over me for a second, and I would've been done for otherwise. Inside a TSF, in the heat of battle, is the only time I find good use for these uncontrollable, destructive urges of mine.

I expect my good luck to have dried out after this close shave.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** You sure your _Senjutsuki's_ alright, _Onee-chan?_

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** Thirteen! One-three.  
His callsign is 13, Fukui Kukiko!

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Fuck that—  
 _Errrr~.  
'Forget'_ that—that's what Ryuu calls him.  
That's his _thing,_ not mine.

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
** _Tut-tut_.  
Eyes to the front, 03.  
You can't lead the way if you keep facing behind.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** _Haha~._

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** _Urk!_

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
** And 06—this is your first and last warning.  
You're distracting us all.  
Stick with protocol.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** _Oops...  
_ My bad, senpai...

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
**. . .  
It's 01.

Hot on the heels of our fleeing targets, I steel myself for the showdown that has yet to come.

* * *

 **Takahashi**

* * *

Six and a quarter kilometers afar.

One minute and fifteen seconds, at these velocities.

That's the distance and time that separates them from us.

Us from them.

And frontrunning the adversary's advancement is Valkyrie-03, as anyone might have predicted, her colleagues close behind but not quite within my field of vision.

'Tis yet unclear as to what battle formation they have decided to implement.

Something is afoot, though I haven't quite placed it.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** Why are we running?  
There's no hiding now, is there?

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
** Kashiwagi.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** _Erm,_ my excuses, lieutenant—

NOE flight is not an ideal time for chatter.

Especially because she is still a greenhorn.

Simulation though this may be, she runs the risk of biting her tongue should she decide to engage in the superfluous, what with these upgraded wing chairs whose resemblance to the genuine article is too close for comfort.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** _Shucks,_ she's just taking notes, 02.  
We've an eager beaver in our midst.

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
**. . .

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** And we aren't running, 09.  
We're reading their movements.  
Trying to, anyhow.

 _Tsk tsk..._

If they insist.

I'm being too lenient these days...

With a sigh, I say:

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
** Keep step with 07.  
A margin of error above 1% and I'll have you repeat the same drill one hundred times over as restitution. And only upon dropping that number down to 0.25 three times consecutively would you be dismissed.

Although—it is admirable that she has been able to match our paces thus far.

I wonder whether this is testament to her innate abilities, or to Shirogane's XM3.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** One percent? You're kidding. **  
**That's 0.85% more than you give me.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** He gives you a 0.15% margin?!  
What the hell, Aniki?! _  
_You and I are gonna have a nice lengthy chat about that after this.

It's only natural—the both of you have a few years on the fledgling.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** _Eto.  
_ I'll do my best not to disappoint, LT.

At least she has the right attitude for the role.

 _'Pft,'_ Ryuu makes no effort to withhold his sneer directed at me.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** Actually, I was curious to why we gave up shooting at them after we botched that first attempt. We could've landed a few shots in before they closed the gap.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** That wasn't a botch, 09. It threw them off their course. That shot alone bought us an extra thirty-plus-second headstart. And time is of the essence in this line of work.

 _'We haven't uncovered what they're up to just yet, but by staying ahead, we'd have enough clearance to come up with an appropriate response, capiche?'_

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** _Ah._ Duly noted, LT.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** But of course we could've ended it then and there had he not missed the opening we worked oh so hard to set up for him. Isn't that right, 07?

Ryuu, however, elects to pay no heed to Munakata's prodding.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** They have 03—followed by 01—followed by _Onee-chan_ —and 13 as the tail.

 _Hmm._

Hayase I can clearly see. The others, however, are not quite visible from this range.

I trust Ryuu had found a way to look past 03.

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
** They have yet to form up.

In that case, naught has changed since they began trailing us.

I suspect they are hiding their hand until the defining moment comes upon the field of battle.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** _Naw—_

 **(Valkyrie-02)  
** —?

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** I think they already have.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** Are you onto them, 07?

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** I believe I am. And there's your answer, 09. For why we didn't just open fire until we ran out of ammo.

 _'Hahahaha!'_ I hear a low, menacing laughter resonating from the intercom.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Well done, 13. I never would've thought you'd have it in you. But could you live with the choice you've made, I seriously want to find out.

He's talking to himself.

 _'Are you ready?!'_

Ryuu's booming voice delivers the question, though to whom it was really aimed at, I cannot say for certain.

 _'Always,'_ I murmur to myself, in any case.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Aniki! Prepare to launch—

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** I'll open up a path. I still have nine magazines, enough so they can't ignore me, at the very least.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** _Hoho_ —eager beaver indeed.  
You're gonna have to grow out of that, Kashiwagi Haruko.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Shut up, 09.  
You're not playing hero today.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** _Eh?_

 _'Look at them close. The way they're coming at us.'_

 _Hm._

I see it now, though really, I've been overlooking it this entire time.

Astute as ever, kid. Always quick on the uptake.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** In a straight line, you mean?

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** Yes.  
Single file.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** The trail formation.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** That was that all along, huh. Good grief, did I ever overthink this one.

 _'Yup,'_ Ryuu asserts with confidence (and an equal amount of smugness).

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** They intend to throw bodies at us until 13 reaches striking distance. As if he could take us all by himself. He never ceases to piss me off.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** You mean everyone in front of him is sorta like a meat shield?

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Not sorta, 09—it's a definite 'is a.'  
And he has three layers of it.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** So they hope we'd run out of bullets by the time we eat through their shields, huh. That or they take the brunt of our firepower so that Shirogane wouldn't have to when he closes in. And by then we'd be within melee range. I see.

 _'That's mighty brash, if you ask me.'_

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** But kinda cool, too.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** Good luck whittling those shields, though. Even with the range advantage, it's still Hayase and Isumi wielding them.

 _'Those lovebirds' defenses are ironclad, in more ways than you might think,'_ she muses on the side.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** And even if we somehow manage to take them down without losing any of ours, we'd still have to face-off with the final boss. Scary.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** True that. We're up against a _bona fide_ monster.  
So go ahead and stay if you still want to, 09. I won't stop you from your vain self-sacrifice.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** _Errrm._  
I didn't know I'd struck a nerve, _ahaha~_.  
Sorry already, LT.  
Sounds like we're in a bind, though.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** Duly forgiven, 09.  
You're lucky this is just a simulation.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Don't speak on my behalf, Munakata-san.  
Just—  
Just—  
Just don't interrupt me ever again, alright.

Kashiwagi has taken an odd affinity with Ryuu, and he can't seem to completely disengage her. She did previously mention she had two brothers younger—I suppose that might have much to do with her feeling at ease with Ryuuseiu, despite his cold treatment of her. That—and Munakata's constant mediation.

 _'Mmh-nghh,'_ Ryuu coughs into the team channel.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** As I was saying.  
It's time to throw a wrench in their plan.

 _'And I mean it very literally.'_

I nod at him in understanding.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Aniki—on the count of three.  
04 and 09, cover fire on my mark.

Picking up speed, I await my launch orders.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** 1\. . .

Closing my eyes.

And breathing a deep breath.

 _Dark._

 _Empty._

 _Nothingness._

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** 2\. . .

The speedometer crawls higher. And higher.

But the beating of my heart keeps its steady pace.

 _Slaughter._

 _Enemy._

 _Mission._

 _Accomplish._

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** 3\. . .

 _Duty._

 _Life—_

 _It's bright._

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Now!

Here I go.

My sense of hearing goes numb in temporary.

I hadn't even heard Ryuu's mark.

All external noise but a high pitched ringing drowns my ears as I kick the ground beneath and turn the sharpest corner and ride the most drastic change in velocity humanly attainable in a _Senjutsuki_.

The Allbright Turn.

Otherwise known as Maneuver C.

Requires nothing but the utmost precision.

A margin of error of any more than 0.02% in any one of the phases would collapse the entire procedure altogether.

Not to mention the physical strain it wears on the Eishi.

My first boosted-jump is toward my one o'clock, a good distance ahead of my platoon.

I've picked a patch of terrain where the forest is thinnest, meanwhile readying myself for the next jump as I watch Flight C pass me in a blur.

My sense of hearing returned just as I launched myself off the dirt a second instance, this time, however, a tad closer to my three than my two.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** By the way, Aniki.  
 _Onee-chan_ is third in line.  
You had better make damn sure you pin her too.

Not wanting to disturb my center, I grunt in the positive in lieu of a voiced reply.

Ordinarily, in Maneuver C, this three phase high-velocity directional surface jump would end with the pilot rotating his attack vector a full 180 degrees without conceding any speed just in time to confront the pursuing adversary.

Best used against fellow Eishis, hardly functional against mindless swarms of BETA.

Contrary to normal procedure, I am cutting even tighter angles, way beyond the operational safety engineering limits of these machines and perhaps even the simulator cabin.

For the sole purpose of.

Not to charge at my pursuers—not quite.

 _Damn._

Even the intensity of the G-forces is taking a toll on me, and I'm starting to feel it in my vestibular organs.

Yuuko didn't have to recreate a _Senjutsuki_ cockpit down to the finest detail...

But it's the final jump.

My targets are in sight.

Clamping myself to my seat, I immediately thrust my _Senjutsuki_ skyward upon my third impact, nearly an entire 120 degrees at my four o'clock. While midair, I twist my mech to face in the direction of the enemy flight, who haven't caught wind of me just yet as I should still be outside the range of their scanners in the Z axis.

On cue, cover fire of cannons and missiles comes from my allies and wreaks havoc on the small space between Kuki and Shirogane to segregate Valkyrie-13 from the rest of his team, creating a momentary lapse in their otherwise sturdy team formation.

The front three have been isolated, and 13 has been boxed out, in accordance with our design.

And, unsheathing both my Type-74 PB Blades, I ram myself on the vanguard of Flight B, descending upon Hayase, Isumi, and Kuki, all within a sixty-eighth of a second window.

They responded as adeptly as expected.

I stand at an incline, preserving my balance with Isumi Michiru's shield as a foothold neath me. Her own feet had dug a few yards into the earth as she absorbed the impact of my fall. Nevertheless, she remains staunchly clutching her Type-92 Supplemental Armour high above.

And thus, having claimed the higher ground—

With my right-hand halberd, I have pinned the Storm Vanguard One, Hayase Mitsuki. She had made the unforced error of using both arms to hold her ground behind her own Type-92, hence having zero free hands left to draw her weapon. The moment she yields so much as one Newton from her support, she had best believe I'd get to her before she lays a finger on her weapon.

To the other side, Kuki hadn't made the same mistake.

Though needless to say—I have locked her down as well.

You are welcome, Ryuuseiu.

His twin sister had parried the downward swing of my left-hand Type-74, aided by gravity, using both of her PB Blades. As my sword leans against two of hers, all three of our halberds tremble in place now and again as we stand at a stalemate in this contest of strength.

Thus and so.

I carry out my mission.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Hey there, stud.

Kuki has switched her comms line to the open channel.

 **(Valkyrie-06)**  
Let's tango.

Trying not to worry about the other three, I can't help but hope they hold fast against Shirogane Takeru.


	32. Breaking Point III

**Chapter 32 – Breaking Point III**

* * *

 **Takeru**

* * *

Smoke.

And ash.

Where trees used to be.

Fire and brimstone is all I see.

It isn't enough that they have cut me off from the rest of my flight. They've now scorched the lay of the land just to drive me a measurable distance afar.

Do they plan to burn the whole forest down if it means keeping me out of position?

That'd be nuts, yet I shouldn't put it past them.

We'd get in a lot of shit if they had done this in a real practice battle, in a real forest somewhere.

I've so far made several attempts at skirting around the curtain of fire, though I've made little to no headway against this relentless bombardment of theirs. Every inch I gain is twice removed shortly after.

Commendable—I'll give them that.

To be able to keep me at bay for this long, even with the pinpoint responsiveness of my XM3 and the dexterity of a Type-94 Shiranui.

My—XM3.

 _Ah,_ right...

They're using it too.

And they've gotten a dangerously good grasp on it already.

Didn't take long for it to come back and bite me in the ass, huh...

Feeling impatience setting in, I stop in my tracks.

Not to sound full of myself, but.

On their part, they've likewise had little luck in getting a slug in me following that initial surprise attack. A pause like this wouldn't change that.

And besides.

It doesn't sound as though Capt. Isumi, Lt. Hayase and Cookie are in any immediate danger.

Judging by the radio channel, anyway.

I've yet to ascertain what happened to them right after we'd gotten separated, but I guess that cannon shower was truly for the sole purpose of boxing me out.

Nothing more, nothing less.

They planned this through more than I'd thought.

I'd have had an easier time holding up our line formation had they set their targets directly at our TSFs; no wonder they deliberately 'missed' their shots and aimed at the ground between us instead.

 _Damnit,_ I've been outwitted by such a blatant ploy.

Our attack plan must've been exposed. And not just exposed, but countered as well.

Regardless—what's important is that the three of them are safe for the time being, so I'd be wise not to let my building frustration get the better of me.

Although...

It does sound like my teammates have their hands full with something.

Tough to tell.

What little information I'm picking up is from Cookie—and she really ought to stop making it sound like she's dancing or something.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Let's tango.

She said that a while ago.

Did I even hear her say that?

It's difficult to form a picture with her commentary.

And yes—I've also asked a status update from Isumi-san and Mitsuki, hoping to hear a more reasonable response.

However...

 **(Valkyrie-01 | Valkyrie-03)  
** Not right now, 13! | Kinda busy, Shirogane!  
 _Hurry up and get back here!_

What the hell has them swamped, I wonder.

I'd best get out of here so we could regroup and recoup.

All around me, bullets are still flying in every direction.

If their targets are the trees and earth, they're doing a swell job at it. All of their shots are practically bullseyes in that case.

Otherwise they're way off their mark if they have any hopes of getting at me.

It's no doubt due to this heavy cloud of smoke. A number of trees have been lit ablaze largely by the assault cannons, with smaller fires sparked and spread further by the 36mm bullets. And this forest having heaps of fresh leaves is to be blamed for the haze in the atmosphere with no end in sight.

With the piss-poor visibility, the enemy must be having a helluva time trying to get a fix on my twenty.

Yet they keep shooting anyway.

I had for an instant seriously considered firing back at them, but thought better of it in the end. I'd just be wasting bullets in doing so. Not to mention it would definitely give wind of my location.

Or—on second thought, might this be a mere stall tactic?

To hold me back for as long as they can while who knows what happens to the rest of my flight?

 _Tch._

In that case.

It ends here.

Now that I've regained my bearings, it's my turn to mobilize.

There _is_ a pattern to the bursts of 36mm being thrown out, and I'm growing more confident about my hunch with every passing volley.

I'm up against three of them, that much I can say for certain.

The directions of the sources of the gunfire are constantly switching, but the _number_ of sources never changes.

And it's three.

Although, _which_ three enemy Valkyries—there's no telling from here.

This would imply that whoever that fourth enemy is should be responsible for keeping my own team in deadlock; their voices are sounding more and more frantic by the minute.

 _'I'll be with you shortly,'_ I think to myself, not wanting to occupy our intercom in case I'd interfere with their communication stream, meanwhile fastening myself for the next round of enemy fire.

Like a sprinter at the starting line, I kneel at the ready.

And so the shots came.

And when they came.

Exactly six seconds later, on the dot, my Type-74 PB Blade had cleanly pierced through an enemy Shiranui, the tip of the blade sticking out of its back.

One down.

Three to go.

* * *

 **Ryuuseiu**

* * *

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** 04, toss your 120mm magazines toward these coordinates.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** Only if you say please.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Now scatter.  
Don't let him set foot back to his team, even if it kills you.

As Munakata and Kashiwagi shower 13 with bullets, I've been forming a perimeter of cannonfire using the 35 remaining 120mm cannon rounds in my possession with the help of the extra arsenal from Munakata and Aniki.

Aniki has no use for the Type-87s in his one-on-three melee, so I had 04 and 09 hand him their PB Blades (they're still holding onto their Type-65 knives) while Aniki traded us his spare guns and ammo.

The cache of cannons I've laid down on the ground surrounding me, since I can only hold four Assault Cannons simultaneously. Though I can reliably use only two of them at a time with my main arms—the other two I've equipped into my Mount Pylons, and these auxiliary arms are honestly shit for precision targeting.

Both my PB Blades I've thrust into the earth to each of my sides, ready to be drawn at a moment's notice.

Our goal is not to off him, anyhow. It would be nice if we'd somehow manage that, but let's be real. He even dodged my welcome shot! Sure, it was by a hair's breadth, but still.

I'm no sharp-shooter by any stretch of the imagination, though I tend not to miss my targets after a certain distance.

So I claim—despite missing _this_ target.

His skills are beastly, inhuman, the Eishi in 13's _Senjutsuki._

And I might've massively misread his nature.

He reminded me much of Narumi-san.

Wasn't he supposed to be some White-Knight wannabe? Some arrogant, gutsy thug aspiring to shoulder the world in the petty name of heroic justice?

Yet—he placed his allies in front of him to serve as a meat shield, all for the sake of winning this duel.

He's proven more a maverick than a hero.

Would he dare pull this stunt in the real world though, I wonder.

It's easy to make the call under these conditions, knowing that these simulations have no real-world consequence.

What game do you think you're playing, 13?

Your plan was daring and at the same time exceptional, I hate to admit. However—

Even now, I bet you're scrambling to find a way to help out your teammates. The same teammates whose lives you had ironically tried to forfeit.

This is why you can't win, even with this exceptional plan of yours.

Because your heart is not wholly in it.

You hadn't committed to the follow-through.

Don't play with fire unless you are prepared to watch it burn.

Were you resigned to sacrifice your team to reach your ultimate objective, you'd have been gunning for us instead of incessantly finding a means to circumvent the wall of fire. A mere distraction I conjured—on a gut feeling that you'd only be able to see what's directly in front of you.

Your kindness will one day be your downfall, even if you were a protagonist of some grand story, plot armour and all that.

I will however concede that Onee-chan might be right about you being able to change the course of our lives, although... you're far from helping _anyone,_ let alone Onee-chan, the way you are. And we've no use for half-ass measures like he's displaying anyhow, Onee-chan, especially with time creeping nearer...

. . . . .

Anyhow.

If it sounds like I'm impressed by how I misread him—under normal circumstances, I might've been.

For 13 had made one grave blunder.

One I cannot forgive no matter what.

Try as I might to forget the fact that I'm against Onee-chan, I just—can't.

I can't.

I can't I can't.

I can't protect Onee-chan from here.

And 13 had shamelessly decided to throw away Onee-chan's life.

The nerve of him, it gets my blood boiling.

 _Tchh._

For that, I'll make him break before the match is over, in one way or another.

To do so, I'll have to stay on track, and in the meantime—we need only screen him out and buy enough space for Aniki.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** 09, stop idling.  
Don't relocate _after_ you fire—do it _while_ you fire.

 **(Valkyrie-09)  
** _Ah,_ but I'm trying, LT.  
I haven't gotten the hang of the motions just yet.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** You won't last another minute, 09.

She doesn't talk back, and instead she bites her lip and makes a wry face visible on our retinal projectors, making obvious her struggle with the wheel.

As I had known—she's useless.

Mighty fucking useless.

It should've been Onee-chan from the get-go.

Even Kazama Touko-san would've been more helpful.

But Kashiwagi Haruko—who's had not even a half-year worth of time logged into a _Senjutsuki_ —is simply a liability at this rate. All she's good for is extra arms to shoot at air, and even then all she's doing is giving away her position if she can't even manage to stay on the move.

Don't misunderstand.

She could shoot.

She could move.

But every time she pulls the trigger, she somehow slows all the way down, she might as well be a sitting duck.

I'll take a look at her control records later (if I remember to care about it, that is); I'd bet you that her _Senjutsuki's_ velocity and orientation escapes her as she fixates on her cover fire.

Multi-tasking isn't exactly a chore, I should make clear, although it does take a little getting accustomed to, what with the hundreds of buttons, knobs and switches we have to be mindful of.

XM3 has alleviated the load to some extent, but hasn't eliminated it entirely.

My left hand alone has 16 toggles: three to each finger and four to the thumb, not counting the steering gyre and the wrist tracking circlet.

Piloting isn't as easy as it looks, though it does become more natural with time.

Kashiwagi is brand new to this—I get it.

She's nervous—I get it.

She's trying her best—for the final time, I get it.

Yet the cold hard truth is that she's hardly making a dent at her current level against an inhuman Eishi like 13.

And I don't know what the fuck 13 is striving to accomplish by staying still for the last 42 seconds—his blip on my radar has been stagnant for that long.

Now would be the perfect opportunity to take a shot at him, but something— _something_ —stinks about his stillness.

An eerie, calm-before-the-storm kind of stillness.

Even through this thick smog, I shouldn't run into issues finding a clean, deciding trajectory to him.

Yet I've stayed my trigger finger thus far.

This is not knightly chivalry on my part.

Neither is it virtue nor nobility.

I have zero qualms about shooting an unarmed, non-moving enemy. I'd stomp an enemy's brains out if I were to chance upon them while they were down—and I wouldn't think twice about it nor lose any sleep over it.

An enemy is an enemy and deserves none of my mercy.

But not this enemy.

This enemy who _still_ has made no signs of movement in the 14 seconds that have since passed—

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** _KASHIWAGI, GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!_

Shit.

By the time I'd realized it, it was too fucking late.

I must've jinxed her with my _'one-minute-left'_ quote.

Almost as soon as I uttered my warning, 13's IFF on the radar had shifted, his _Senjutsuki_ had vanished and the smoke had cleared a path in his wake, revealing Valkyrie-09 with the sharp end of a PB Blade protruding from the rear of her virtual pilot compartment.

 _Useless._

 _Like I had known._

I soundlessly sneer.

 _But—_

 _Her uselessness has been accounted for._

I lower both my main Assault Guns after unloading two full magazines of 120mm cannons at 13's Shiranui, his halberd still lodged in the fresh remains of Kashiwagi's frame. The barrels overheated from the nonstop cannonfire, my Type-87s have now been rendered dysfunctional.

For fodder, at least, Kashiwagi had purpose.

 **(Valkyrie-Mum)  
** Valkyrie-09 has been eliminated.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** _Tsk._

 _'Fuck,'_ I click my tongue.

Like the monster that he is, 13 made it out of that fucking barrage.

I take back what I had just said.

Even as fodder, the sitting duck fulfilled no purpose.

First blood had been shed, and it just had to be her.

However—I hardly have time to dwell on the thought.

Not two full seconds after lowering my deadweight Assault Guns, I lift them into the sky to parry the sword and dagger descending on me. 13, unable to yank loose his PB Blade in time, had abandoned it during his escape, and my cannonfire had given away my twenty, I swiftly realize.

I'm next in his sights.

Immediately breaking off our initial contact, I shove him backward, though not before 13 steals one of my halberds that had still been wedged in the dirt—this might've been his intention for coming at me all along.

With a speedy rotation of my Shiranui's upper body, like a shot-put, I toss both dysfunctional weapons in hand at him. The first toward his present location, the second toward the path I gander he'd evade to. All while drawing my remaining PB Blade as well as one of my Mount Pylon Assault Guns.

My guess turned out right—which isn't saying much as he effortlessly sweeps the shot-put-gun aside and lands unharmed.

With a sense of dread at the beast of an Eishi before me, I gulp out of reflex.

Can't say I hadn't foreseen this outcome.

After all.

 _I do see everything._


	33. Breaking Point IV

_AN: I've tried my best to release running chapter arcs simultaneously to minimize cliffhangers, but it just can't be helped. Cliffhangers are inevitable; it'd otherwise take me a year between updates._

 _Reminder for desktop/windowed readers: re-adjust your **paragraph width** to **1/2**. Its symbol is of four horizontal bars located directly below the story synopsis, in between the settings for font and line spacing._

 **Chapter 33 – Breaking Point IV**

* * *

 **Meiya**

* * *

 _Mugen Kidou._

Erasing the last shred of doubt—Shirogane is flawlessly representing the traditional swordsmanship of mine House.

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Hmh?_ Were you talking to me, Mitsurugi?

I have been telling myself, in vain, that it is but mere happenstance that Shirogane has bared traces and fragments of a swordplay that should be known only to my immediate kin.

Yet here it is in all but name with all its grace and grandeur, wielded by one with no ties to my family tree.

 **(? ? ?)  
** Hey Miki, Mikoto, why're you all glued to that side of the room? Shirogane isn't the only contender, you know.

 _Chance, luck, an accident mayhaps._

 _A feint of light pulling the wool over mine eyes._

 _Vexation and fatigue playing tricks on my mind._

To wit, I have indeed noticed _Mugen Kidou_ in Shirogane's handle of his _bokken_ during field practice time and time again, only for me to turn a blind eye at each turn as I come up with every excuse I might think of, intently denying the sole possible conclusion—that these had been no random occurrences, and that Shirogane truly is a master in the art of _Mugen Kidou_.

 **(? ? ?)  
** _*gasp*_  
Oh my! They almost had him!

Were I to step in his shoes—

Oblivious to the knowledge that we, his associate squad members, are spectators to his virtual bout tonight, Shirogane is doubtless performing without reserve. Thus in the belief that he has naught to hide, I, Yoroi, Tamase, Ayamine and Sakaki have now discovered a shade to Shirogane Takeru that had elsewise been kept privy.

Why—for what just cause is a stellar Eishi such as he spending his days within a training squadron?

Here... here is where he rightfully belongs. In the company of seasoned soldiers, not amongst meager rank and file flight cadets like us...

So saying—yet we of 207B appear to be alone in our awe upon learning that Shirogane is capable of trading blows with proper, battle-tested Eishis. Suzumiya Akane and her colleagues of 207A look not the least bit perturbed.

That he said he had erst driven a _Senjutsuki_ is but the epitome of modesty.

Glancing a moment at the Professor, I cannot help but wonder what had led her to invite us to this spectacle as opposed to barring us at the door.

What might she hope to achieve by exposing us to this side of Shirogane...

 **(? ? ?)  
** Sakaki-san, Ayamine-san, you're missing out on a thrilling free-for-all, honest~! He's on his last legs~.

No.

Regardless of what motive Kouzuki-hakase might have.

I _must_ face him.

I _must_ break my silence.

I _must_ reach out—and speak to—Shirogane Takeru.

 _To find out how and where he had learned the art of Mugen Kidou._

For this feeling that refuses to go away. This feeling in the depths mine heart—whispers to me that it had been none other than I, Mitsurugi Meiya, who had taught him the way of the sword, in a lifetime... so distant... yet not beyond reach.

 **(Sakaki)  
** W–why?

 **(Ayamine)  
** Why...

 **(Yoroi | Tamase)  
** Why is Takeru(-san) having a difficult time closing his fight?!

Aye.

However the outcome of this eventide.

Come fall of night as the moon wanes, at the hillside where the lifeless sakura trees stand, perhaps.

Come what may—I shall have a word with...

Takeru...

Then shall I request of him, and hopefully learn of, the tale behind these reveries, well as the shadows that lurk beneath.

Perhaps he might unveil it, perhaps he might not, but—until I step my first step and un-cup my closed fist, I might regret my inaction and remain haunted by this lasting unrest.

This much and this simple—I can carry out. The story of how he had learned of _Mugen Kidou_ is a stone I could afford to step on. A pragmatic excuse to put an end to our ostracism; an excuse to converse with him.

However...

Though it is a scene I see each time I close mine eyes, would that I could, I should yet refrain from enquiring of Shirogane what it is that would cause him to bring to pass my eternal rest...

I–I could not trust myself to ask him so...

He would think me senile for bringing dreamscape to life.

For asking of him something that has not happened.

Something that has _yet_ to happen.

Or something that might _never_ happen.

Even if the sensation troubles me to no end...

 **(? ? ?)** _  
Hush now._

 _Hmm?_

I have not been attentive to the ongoing discourse about, however—

Having made my mind and emboldened my resolve, I shelve it aside and, along with my squadmates, direct my gaze to the Professor, the root of the imperative air.

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** _'Tis not as straightforward a task._

It matters none.

Little do I care for whether or not I discern what had been uttered as I was dwelling in my reflections.

Nothing will sway me from my pursuit of the subject of _Mugen Kidou_ , a potential connection to him and me. A _second_ connection, in actuality.

Mistake me not—I shall do all this _not_ for Shirogane. Neither shall I do this for the sake of me.

For all the woes of the bleak destiny in my store, they all fare lowly to the point of abandon in the face of the transient dreams of my sweet young Y—

I had near spoken out of turn.

Although... even so...

Even so—it is for _her_ sake that I shall confront Takeru...

 **(Kouzuki-hakase)  
** After all, Shirogane has to eliminate someone who, simply put, _would not die_.

* * *

 **Yuuko**

* * *

Such is the fate of the 00 Unit.

The _Pseudo_ -00 Unit, to be more specific. Kagami Sumika remains the lead candidate (unless my loathsome Nee-sama utterly fails her part in its birthing, though even I am not so spiteful that I'd wish a catastrophe on the human race if only to gloat over my villainous big sister).

When I say it would not die, it is not to assert that the 00 Unit is designed to cheat the Grim Reaper.

Should it deem its passing an absolutely necessary causality to humankind's triumph, and _only_ as a last resort, the 00 Unit is programmed to execute commands up to and including self-termination in exchange for said outcome. Otherwise, until it realizes its function—the 00 Unit would fight tooth and nail for its continuance, even at the cost of human lives aplenty.

A survivor, in other words.

 _Without question, the preservation of our species takes precedence over the lives of a few squadrons,_ I used to declare without hesitation... but carrying on—

In this respect is the runt of former Squadron 8 most fit as the backup 00 Unit over the outstanding delegates.

Without disclosing the particulars (I have a simulation to monitor, after all—but fret not, my multitasking skills are second to none, and so shall I devote a second or two along this tangent), allow me to confide to you an abstract of the 00 Unit candidacy.

For the nonce, all you need know is that Fukui Ryuuseiu, else called Valkyrie-07, is—a _survivor_.

And a tenacious one at that.

While one might believe this a nod to his and his sister's upbringing in the lawlessness that arose out of now-fallen Okinawa in the months that had led to its destruction, such an assumption would be a step away from the truth—as I don't imply a survivor solely in the colloquial sense that they'd outlived such a climate, where the law of the jungle would reign supreme.

At the expense of echoing myself, and put plainly—a survivor, in that he simply _would not die_ (virtual simulations notwithstanding).

A trait, among many others, integral to the 00 Unit.

Can you imagine, after the staggering amount of money and time invested into Alternative IV, if our ultimate weapon were to up and die in its debut mission? I forbid it—I forbid the very notion of it.

The addition of the same ESP functions as Yashiro had been the central focus of Nee-sama and her division, and establishing contact with the BETA is but an afterthought to mine (if the aliens are even sentient to begin with, which has been a topic of dispute within the scientific community for decades running).

Granted that the Alternative plans had by and large been an effort to communicate with the aliens, this field of study would fall out of mine and into Nee-sama's territory. I'd suggest you consult with her should you wish to pursue the school of thought, though do so at your own peril.

 _My_ expertise is in the absolute success of the fourth iteration of Alternative utilizing my Quantum Causality Theory, thus shall I limit myself to the matter at hand—

Now then.

As a matter of course, the leftovers of my handpicked Special Task Force are as well apt in their ability to traverse the infinite possible paths of the quantum realm.

Howbeit—as with every known talent and gift, no two individuals are fashioned alike. It stands to reason that, no matter how talented one might be, it wouldn't be implausible to find another even greater-talented entity.

Even a genius like myself would meet my match in due course (notice I speak of my would-be better in the conditional future tense).

Such is the flow of nature. Evolution at its finest.

In the case of my STF—it just so happens that Fukui Ryuuseiu is of a finer cut. Indeed, while everyone possesses the potential to don the veneer of the 00 Unit, what sets him apart from the crowd is— _awareness_.

An awareness that this talent of theirs is not merely an illusory phenomenon as temporal as the twinkling of the stars, but instead, a conductance of quantum causalities. Where everyone tends to discount it as such, the boy does not, and hence uses it to his advantage—case in point—to keep on living.

It rears itself in his style of piloting.

The more poetically inclined bygone lieutenants of A-01 had spoken of a 'shield' within Squadron 8. The _Shield of Dellingr_ , it'd been gossiped, of he in the squadron named after the Norse god of the Dawn.

This historical factoid would be beside my point, however. Besides, I've not once hinted any interest in the literary arts.

In any event.

Surviving aside—the trait of more import is the aforementioned capacity to pick and choose the congruous causalities to a future where we prevail over the aliens.

If you've been paying any attention to my several enlightening lectures, you must already be aware that such pathways to the future commonly manifest themselves to 00 Unit candidates as episodes of _déjà vu_ (now you see why it is easy to shrug aside the 'gift').

If you do remember—bravo.

To me.

For being a brilliant teacher and professor as always.

The arrival of Shirogane Takeru, a Causality Conduit in his own right, has further awakened this latent ability within everyone in STF Squadron 9 and Training Squadron 207 at an alarmingly marvelous rate, but.

But.

First to awaken, some years ago, was this orphan boy, in addition to eight other lieutenants who have since fallen in the span of six short years. I didn't stutter—it laments me to say that once upon a time we had a healthy stock of nine backup 00 Unit specimens, reduced at present to this solitary one.

Whether they had met a valiant or craven end makes no difference now that they are dead.

The outcome and the outcome alone is all that ultimately matters, irrespective of how well the intent.

And ultimately, a lab rat is of no use to me six feet under.

Though I've declared them to be the most compatible delegates for the 00 Unit, they had lacked a _will_ to keep on living. A will that has yet to burn out within the last one standing _(*for the time being)_.

Thus had I duly since set Valkyrie-07 in reserve to be next in line.

Next in line to Kagami Sumika—it has long been arranged that I would have to take the boy's life.

In reminiscence, it was for that infantile reason that the dolt of an Eishi and author of the paper on _High Speed Transportation Theory_ put an end to our affair.

He had chosen _them_ —over _me_.

Can you believe, of all the–?!

What little remorse I'd harboured at the prospect of taking a life sank like a rock to damn nil, knowing that it would utterly crush him when the deed is done. Then would my wrath be quenched.

Although... the march of time has quenched it as well somewhat. After all, it has been a number of years from when I'd last shared a bed with the ignoramus.

To be reminded of my past at a heated time like this— _tch_.

 _Hmm,_ but I have on numerous occasions since considered taking someone like—like Shirogane—to warm my bed and satisfy my carnal urges every night. _Errm,_ I mean—to overwrite and desert all memory of my past, just as he had likewise deserted me.

(For the record, Shirogane's name was the first to come to mind only because of the overhead monitors. In truth, the shortage of the male population is a worldwide crisis in and of itself, so I'm willing to settle for just about anyone at this rate!)

Whatever the case—this is all too petty of me.

Like I'd said—I'm past the point of hollow spite.

Kouzuki Yuuko is not vindictive by nature.

It is perfectly reasonable for any self-respecting woman with pride to share these exact same murderous emotions.

Actually, before I continue any further—

I'm sounding like a sex-deprived, lust-besotted young woman, aren't I?!

That's Marimo's quirk, not mine!

I've apparently gotten myself dangerously derailed from my original thought!

 _Tut tut tut!_

 _Tsk tsk._

The stress must be getting to my head.

I'll pocket this thought for the meantime.

Shirogane is off-limits anyhow, as long as Marimo continues to pine for him, though I wish she'd make up her mind already. Because if she doesn't intend to do so any time soon—

As a safety measure—I'd best tuck away that bottle of _sake_ I've been saving.

 _*cough*cough*_

This is a real cough, and don't you dare think otherwise.

At any rate—I digress.

Returning to the Pseudo-00.

All things considered, set aside all skepticism for now; the charts and measurements we had taken when the orphan boy was first brought into my lab, and in kind the science behind my tamper-proof methods, tell no lies.

Though I wish I really did have the time to adequately delve into each of my brazen admissions, such isn't the case. Even this entire thread of thought I'd weaved in all of a singular second, hence my curt language (except when I lost my composure for a moment—it'd do us a world of good if we all just forget that miniature outburst, understand?).

So.

In closing—unbeknownst to everyone but me, I'd gotten on board with this mockery of a team battle, not for the lone intention of pitting Vanguard against Rear, sword against shield.

I had allowed it moreover so that I might conduct my own little experiment. One that sets the Causality Conduit against the Pseudo-00.

For you see, the entity that is the 00 Unit is, in effect, a harbinger of Quantum Causalities, or as the layman would call it (whereas I refuse to, as I am proud woman of science)—Fate.

That Kagami Sumika, or in the event of her failure, Fukui Ryuuseiu, and in his failure would follow the roster of STF A-09, has large shoes to fill wouldn't even come close as an exaggeration as to the significance of Alternative IV.

With the ability to perceive lateral dimensions of causalities, when perfected, it is designed to assume the likeness of Laplace's Demon.

An all-knowing super-intelligent being possessive of all knowledge of the universe at any single point in the fifth dimension; ergo, for all of times. To it, the present would seem like its past just as the future would seem like its present.

In stark contrast stands the antithesis of Quantum Causality. The Conduit I had theorized though hardly been convinced even of myself that such an existence was entirely possible.

In fact, when writing my thesis, I had spent hardly a footnote on the subject matter, so doubtful I had been.

A conduit between worldly information, an attractor of causes and effects. Dynamic proof that Quantum Causality can be transferred, scrambled, altered between Alternative universes—

The very inverse of Laplace's postulated Demon.

Entirely capable of not just lateral movement, but _physical_ obverse and reverse travel in the space-time continuum besides.

Quantum causality versus quantum uncertainty.

Two magnets of dissimilar principles yet similar poles, forever destined to repel one another, and here I am forcing them to unite in the middle.

The outcome of this contest would shed any validity to the story of Shirogane's.

Convinced as he is that he is a Causality Conductor, I remain a scientist, and the methods of science dictate that I save judgment until a body of proof beyond reasonable doubt is established, especially given the utter outrageousness of the premise.

You might think me in denial, after what Yashiro had shown me. But for all I know, that very well could've been but a mere fantasy my brain had conjured out of mental exhaustion, and Yashiro may have had nothing to do with that unforgivable vision of Marimo.

 _Ah,_ don't you give me that gaze, Yashiro. I'm merely proposing a counter-argument. Prove me otherwise instead of just giving me those puppy-eyes.

Such is the mark of a scientist—to doubt and question everything that is in the never ending quest for truth.

The silver lining, I suppose, is that depending on tonight's turn of events, I might or might not choose to redistribute my resources and faculties to the search of the _cause_ of what had made him a Conduit. For every effect has a cause, and one without would usher Chaos into the universe.

Shirogane's reality has already fallen into chaos, as it were. Nevertheless—

Thus is this experiment.

To test Shirogane's mettle against fate— _err_ , Quantum Causality—without disrupting the equilibrium of the quantum realm, _id est_ , and more importantly, without introducing Chaos into the universe, thereby losing his value of precognition.

 _Not in the hopes that there might exist an iota of a possibility that he'd be able to save you... Marimo..._

Such a feat is nigh impossible by every measure of logic, I of all people am damn well aware.

Yet, before I get too ahead of myself.

I've thus far deliberated under the grand presumption that we live in a perfect system—and we all know the contrary to more accurately portray the truth.

As such, this experiment of mine has been riddled with one fatal flaw from the outset.

A flaw in the person of the Pseudo-00's twin sister.

A flaw that I could exploit him for, but likewise be exploited by.

I've alleged him to be a survivor. How then do I intend to take the life of one who would not die; _'it's not as though he'd readily offer himself up, right?'_ you might wonder. Not to mention, Fukui Ryuuseiu is of a character who would sooner denounce the world than surrender his life to be converted into the 00 Unit, even if it meant being celebrated as a saviour, a hero.

How indeed, then.

Fair question, though the answer is plenty simple.

All I'd need to do is take hostage and jeopardize the life of—his twin sister. The first half of which I've already done; I wouldn't bat an eye to carry out the second.

But in the same thread—until his time is due, I've to do everything in my power to safeguard the life of my hostage.

Otherwise.

If she does fall.

My lab rat would lose his will to keep on surviving, and with it would the stock of backup Pseudo-00s be depleted.

 _Sigh*_

Save me all this trouble.

Kagami Sumika is indeed still our best bet, if not last and only chance, at giving birth to our ultimate weapon, the 00 Unit.

 _Tch,_ what a waste of my time—I've spent two whole seconds boarding this train of thought.


	34. Breaking Point V

_AN: Simultaneous release, start with Chapter 33._

 _Reminder for desktop/windowed readers:_ _re-adjust your **paragraph width** to **1/2**. Its symbol is of four horizontal bars located directly below the story synopsis, in between the settings for font and line spacing._

 **Chapter 34 – Breaking Point V**

* * *

 **Takeru | _Ryuuseiu_**

* * *

 _A stab from the left, aimed at the base of my neck._

 _Parry it with the halberd, tilt myself sideways then fire away with my Assault Cannon._

* * *

Swiftly as I can, I bash my sword against the base of the enemy's neck. It makes a clanging noise as it slams unto Valkyrie-07's PB Blade, creating an air pressure so strong it snuffs out the embers beside us.

 _Hmm,_ he answered my hit rather cleanly, though the follow-up gunfire is quite sloppy.

* * *

 _He's about to jump back and withdraw his weapon, only to swing along with the momentum to surround my rear. Armed with the extra sword he had earlier snatched from me, his other hand would then come hurling at my right shoulder._

 _Looks like I wouldn't have enough time to turn around—I'd have to deflect it by raising my arm behind my back and letting the gun absorb the impact. Kyuh. That'd leave an ugly dent on my Assault Cannon, though on a positive note, my gun wouldn't be completely useless afterward._

* * *

Well then, I'll have to pivot around and try another avenue of attack. The other side of his back is wide open. He's carrying a gun in place of a sword in that hand, and no way would he be able to aim with his gun while I'm hovering over his blind spot.

So, backpedaling a step, I swivel with blinding velocity—not even his eyes have any hope of chasing me.

You're done for, Ryuu. And here I'd been concerned over what your sister had said about you.

Two down, two more to go—

 _Ng–kh?_

He—

Blocked me? Using his Assault Cannon?

He shouldn't have been able to see me, let alone my sword's trajectory.

And he again used his Assault Cannon as though it were a PB Blade.

Quick on his feet, I'll give him that.

* * *

 _Turn about-face, start firing one more time and build some distance in between. He'd lunge back at me as soon as I let up, and return my bullets with six—hmm, six, that's an odd choice of numbers—consecutive strikes, all in different directions._

* * *

 _Mmph,_ he's swerving around to face me.

And now he's firing at will.

I should fall back for the time being. At this close range, it'd be impossible even for me to dodge every 36mm bullet, and in fact some of them do chip at my TSF on my retreat, though the damage done isn't anything worth harping on, probably like how a buffalo might feel when bitten by a hundred gnats.

Still, I'd rather avoid as many gunshots as I can help it.

Not much else I can do in the meanwhile but outlast his ammo. If luck were on my side, he'd overheat his Assault Cannon, though that'd be too good to come true.

I can't place a finger on it just yet, but, fighting against him— _something feels unnaturally off._

. . .

There—

Now's my chance—his magazine's run empty.

It's my turn on the offensive; I won't be making the same mistake by affording him the same breathing room he'd just given me.

Unlike your Assault Cannon, swords don't overheat nor need to reload, Ryuu.

Not wasting another second, I floor it and jet-boost directly next to him.

* * *

 _God._

 _13's jabs are lightning fast, each one as heavy and ferocious as the last; any counter-attack I might muster would be a sorry stab at his afterimage at best._

 _It's hopelessly true._

 _Haaa—what mess have I gotten myself into._

 _His first three thrusts I could parry, but the fourth and fifth would nick me in the armour of my right knee and the wing on my left shoulder._

 _He's so strong._

 _He's too strong._

 _There isn't a trace of the gloom 13 wears by the day._

 _Similar to our very first encounter—_

 _Now as then, since embarking the Senjutsuki simulator, it's as though he has turned into an entirely different character._

 _Talk about a groundbreaking personality shift._

 _13 as an Eishi is unrecognizable from 13 the broody flight cadet._

 _And 13 as an Eishi is, by all standards of historical Eishis—a monster._

 _The very same monster Onee-chan earnestly believes could change our lives._

 _But._

 _Not yet._

 _I can't fall just yet._

 _I won't fall just yet._

* * *

One-two.

Three-four stabs in a row, they all come back empty, save for the fourth, but even that had barely been a nick on the kneecap.

Five. Six.

 _Damn_ —I'd almost lopped his shoulder right off.

So damn close...

Just fall down and drop dead already, Ryuuseiu.

* * *

 _Kuh._

 _Tch._

 _This sixth blow would be one meant to finish—swung from the top down and aimed squarely at my Senjutsuki's forehead._

 _I wonder if I should try to catch it between my palms—never mind, that'd be the surefire end of the road for me. Stupid Onee-chan, always showing me stupid excerpts of those stories she reads._

 _While I might not be able to pull a stunt like that, dodging it would be a cinch._

 _I'd even manage to finally land a blow on him: a kick on his arm as it falls on my shoulder._

 _Pathetic a punt as that'd be, the resulting whiplash would be enough to send his halberd flying._

 _Doesn't look like he'd be disarmed for long, however._

 _He still has two knives, and in the short while he regains his balance, he'd launch them both in my direction with rushed accuracy._

 _One knife would ricochet out of harm's way, but—_

 _Fuck!_

 _The other knife would pierce me in the foot._

 _I mean, sure, it'd be nothing life-threatening. At most, it would slow me down by a little bit._

 _Like I ain't slow enough compared to 13 already, you know?_

 _Let it rest—I seriously wouldn't be able to dodge it, no matter what course of action I choose to take._

 _My momentary lapse would give him the space to retrieve his halberd, and again, his two swords would come crashing across my Assault Cannon and PB Blade._

* * *

 _The hell?_

One of the knives nabbed him in the foot.

Strange—for such a paltry attack to finally connect, after I'd lambasted him with some of my toughest ones.

Cookie did mention that her twin brother is ordinary as an Eishi.

To a certain extent, I could now see what she may have meant by that.

His technique isn't as refined as Meiya's would be. His aim, lackluster compared to Tama's. He isn't resourceful like Mikoto, canny as Kei, nowhere clever as Chizuru.

However—

In spite of all that, this rock-solid defense he's held up so far—I wouldn't describe as 'ordinary', Cookie.

Your twin brother is furiously clinging to life.

He's been anticipating my every move, as though he could read my mind.

No—this feels as though it's something else. He isn't Kasumi, nor is he another esper, far as I'm aware.

He sees _something_ , though.

Something like—

The future.

Quite the stretch, I know, yet I can't shake off this uneasy sensation.

I'm simply stating my honest opinion.

That's just what it feels like every time our weapons meet blow after blow.

Why, though, hadn't he dodged the knife that drilled into his foot? Or the nick I gave him in the knee, the notch I sliced off his shoulder?

He should be unscathed.

But he's been scored and dented and even stabbed.

I know _I_ would come out of the fray without a scratch if I had something to that effect.

I'm exaggerating, of course. It's laughably impossible to walk away scot-free from a swarm of BETA, future-sight be damned.

 _My_ future-sight is currently blinded anyway. I've no recollection of these present events in any of my past lifetimes in the first place; all these segments are entirely brand new to me.

Even while the curious thoughts dawn on me, I slash four times in rapid succession at the chest and torso of Ryuu's TSF for another go-around. He deflects with his PB Blade, then with his Assault Cannon, his PB Blade once again. As he ducks at the last slash, at the last second, I manage to chop off both his sub-arms in place of his head.

I've further disarmed him.

I very much would've preferred the head, though.

Once again, he is stubbornly, stubbornly, holding on.

. . .

This should have been a much shorter story.

Everything should've gone the way it went in the past like it was supposed to.

They should've just shut up and kept their distance, like they were supposed to.

Die in Niigata, like they are supposed to.

And that would be the end of their fairy tale.

I'd be back to my all too familiar story.

Able to lead us to that... victorious... future... at the cost of everything I love.

 _Mm-hm._

Gripe as I might, for openers, it had been my fault for running into Capt. Isumi.

And if I were to backtrack, I wouldn't have run into her had I not seen Meiya distraught and chased her all the way to her room.

But it had been Yuuko-sensei who had sent the captain for me—

This line of thinking is more a circle than a straight line. In the end, no single person bears responsibility for all these divergences, and things just happened that way because they happened the way they did.

At any rate.

This is no time for wishful thinking, nor for pinning blames.

I have to refocus on the battle ahead.

Cookie's twin brother may be an ordinary Eishi, regardless, he's still _alive_ , however impatient it is making me. And this stonewall fighting style of his is driving me on edge, as impenetrable as it's proving to be as yet.

Come to think of it—it's been a while since I've last heard from my teammates. Then again, I've been lost in my own battle, so I hate to admit that I haven't really been paying heed to the intercom.

Even as I relentlessly hack at Valkyrie-07.

Even as he relentlessly stands his ground.

Not able to completely fend off my every attack though somehow counters just enough to protect his vital structures from the edge of my blade.

I dial-in on the team radio—

Hold that thought.

What's this now?

In the heat of the moment, as we were trading blows, he just lost his footing; could he have tripped on a stray log?

He must've.

He's stumbling backwards.

Finally—the opening I've long been waiting for.

Posturing my swords at eye level, a _Kasumi no Kamae_ I'd learned from a lifetime with Meiya, I thrust them both forward at the falling TSF, only to instead immediately find myself faced with a heavy barrage of 36mm pellets and 120mm cannons.

That damn bastard faked his stumble.

My timing was way off the mark—he had sped up his fall soon as I'd bitten the bait.

And when he had fallen completely clear of the line of fire, in near-perfect synchrony, the other TSF I'd forgotten until now open-fired in my direction. At where Ryuu had been not a fraction of a second ago.

 _Kuh._

Even while I strafe and jump-boost my way out of this warzone, I still end up sustaining moderate damage. And for every time a bullet nails me, my cabin responds by jerking ever so accurately.

I can't believe—

I'd been lured so easily...

The firepower finally ended after what seems like an hour had passed.

 **(? ? ?)  
** _Hoh_ —I'd gone all out until I'd shot blanks. Yet after all that, you're still standing. Your stamina's impressive, Shirogane.

 _'Oh to be young.'_

This channel—it's been opened by the shooter.

I need to catch my breath, indulging her might buy me the time I need.

 **(Takeru)  
** Munakata-chui...

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** My, my.  
Moaning my name in the midst of battle.

 _'Read the mood, Shirogane,'_ she chaffs, _'this isn't the place for pillow talk.'_

Ignoring her suggestive remark, I respond.

 **(Takeru)  
** That play was dirty.

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** Dirty?

She giggles under her breath instead.

Before she makes another innuendo with quite the blatant prompt—

I considered having to search for Ryuu's whereabouts, concerned that Lt. Munakata might now be purposefully distracting me, but that turned out to be unnecessary.

As the dust settled, flames still dancing in the background, Valkyrie-07's TSF appeared—frozen in place—not far from where he had faked his fall.

Entirely motionless.

He must be recuperating as well.

So I tell myself, only to be proven wrong in the same breath.

Because as soon as I turned my sights from him, he made a move.

In a straight line.

At maximum velocity.

Along a track that leads—directly towards me.

After eluding me all this time—has he finally found his courage?

Or might this be an act of desperation?

Whatever it may be.

Bring it on, Ryuu.

It's about damn time anyway.

Flexing my fingers, I await the arrival of the enemy TSF.

Enemy TSF _s_ , rather.

A little while after Ryuu had taken off, Lt. Munakata's TSF had launched in a similar direction.

Their plans must've changed—they're both coming at me together this time. Ryuu is too far ahead of Lt. Munakata to execute a proper coordinated attack, however.

Though it's two on one, I'm plenty confident in my own piloting ability, so I could care less about this tag-team handicap.

I welcome it, in fact.

Fully braced, their movements force me to do a double take.

Ryuu's movement, in particular.

He's not slowing down.

In fact, he's _still_ gaining speed.

What the.

At this rate, I'd lose in a head-on collision out of sheer momentum alone.

And by now, it's too late for me to launch my own TSF in response.

Shit.

I'd made a grave miscalculation.

It'd be the height of madness to receive him in this state, no matter how well I might fasten myself.

 _Fuck._

I don't have a choice—

In the instant just before we would've collided, I sidestep with a forward roll in a flimsy display of parkour, knocking down several branches in my path.

Soon as I regain my footing, I assume my fighting stance, prepared for the next line of attack from that TSF-turned-bulldozer that is no doubt coming straightaway.

However—

 _Huh?_

Where'd he go?

I'm right here, out in the open, but—he hasn't turned around.

It doesn't look as though he has stopped, either.

Where in this virtual world has he taken off to?

No time to ponder, confused as I am.

Munakata-chui has just reared her TSF out of the woods, and without a moment's hesitation, I charge at the enemy.

. . .

. . .

. . .

For some mysterious reason, she reacted as though she were honestly surprised to bump into me, though she hadn't been blitzing as fast as Ryuuseiu had been.

But—why the surprise at all?

Before I could raise the question, in an act carried out by pure instinct, I'd toppled Valkyrie-04 in three swift strokes.

She did try to put up a fight, but.

There hadn't even been a fight.

My body had taken over.

When my mind had the time to finally catch up, the first thought it came up with made the hairs on the back of my neck stand.

Most likely in the same manner he had previously used Kashiwagi Haruko as fodder to lock down my position.

He must have tossed Munakata-chui to the wayside, covering his retreat.

It wouldn't be unlikely, hence my skin is crawling.

Didn't he once leave behind Lts. Hayase and Suzumiya's dear friends, back during Operation Lucifer?

Although.

Metaphorically looking over my shoulder, literally surveying everything within 360 degrees of my vicinity—Valkyrie-07 is still nowhere to be found.

I wouldn't have to worry about another salvo of cannonfire, or of Lt. Munakata's frame holding me in position.

Even so.

Out of reflex, I tighten my grip on my console, while my virtual TSF likewise tightens its grip on its PB Blades.

Cookie... I'm sorry, but.

Your brother and I.

Will _never_ see eye to eye.


	35. Breaking Point V 5

_Reminder for desktop/windowed readers:_ _re-adjust your **paragraph width** to **1/2**. Its symbol is of four horizontal bars located directly below the story synopsis, in between the settings for font and line spacing._

 **Chapter 35 – Breaking Point V.5**

* * *

 **Interlude**

* * *

 _His right-hand sword to my left hip._

 _A left-hand swoop on my upper arm._

 _Fake-out sweep at my feet, followed by a breakneck thrust at my abdominal region._

 _A nonstop combination of slashes and stabs; twenty six—no, twenty seven, eight, nine—and counting._

 _Jumps._

 _Cancels._

 _Jump cancels, move cancels._

 _Oh the number of cancels..._

 _Give me a break, 13._

 _Honestly._

 _You've peeled enough scrap metal out of my virtual Senjutsuki._

 _I can't even rely on wearing you out; you're showing zero signs of slowing down._

 _What the hell is taking Aniki so long anyhow? He sure is taking his sweet time, ain't he._

 _Grunting to myself—_

 _Here it comes._

 _To react, I guard my left flank._

 _And immediately counterattack the blow to my right arm._

 _Ignore the leg-sweep feint, instead lift my sword and rifle to defend my center._

 _The resulting blowback drives me a few hundred yards into the backwoods, knocking me against the flaming forestry as I get dragged behind my feet._

 _Not that it's any time to sigh in relief._

 _Not when the nonstop combo is coming right up._

 _. . ._

 _. . ._

 _. . ._

 _Forty one—for anyone curious._

 _He finally stepped back after swinging his swords at me forty one fucking times, not once relaxing his pace._

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** Looks like someone's in the middle of a new paint job. You're being pummeled black and blue, 07.

 _'Need a hand?'_ taunts a familiar voice.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Easy for you to say.

I huff at her dig.

As antagonizing as her tone is, it's nonetheless an honest relief to hear from Munakata-san again.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** You done chopping wood yet?

It's tough, but I'm somehow managing to keep the conversation alive all while exchanging swipes and repelling 13's quicks.

Well—I say exchanging, when it's really just a one lane exchange.

If only Kashiwagi hadn't gotten too eager and overstepped her designated perimeter, we'd be sitting in a much better position right now.

Munakata-san's trap has gone to waste, with no chance of success between our army of two strong.

We'd had to scratch our original attack vector, where I had to fence him within this circle of fire and limit his movements while 04 planted some of our cannon artillery into remote landmines. All Kashiwagi had to do was act like she was firing at 13, when really she'd be walking him into the booby trap without him knowing any better.

Like lamb to the slaughter.

I had since used a good chunk of our cannons when I improvised and made her fallen _Senjutsuki_ a quasi-landmine, yet we failed to eliminate him even then.

I still think it was a pathetically needless act of sacrifice, 09. How many times had I warned her to get on the move every time she'd given away her twenty...

Anyhow, this changes nothing.

The outcome remains the same.

In its place we've to resort to using my Shiranui to lure him into a makeshift death trap.

I've ended up being the lucky decoy all because I'd gotten a touch too trigger happy the moment I noticed 13's halberd stuck in Kashiwagi's frame, practically announcing my location as I fired away.

 _Damn it,_ Kashiwagi—what's so difficult about sticking to the plan?

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** Do you want the honest answer, or the answer you'd rather hear?

Speaking of 04's booby trap.

To translate: _'No, I'm not in position yet,'_ huh?

Even so, I'm almost tempted to hear her fib if only to have something to hold on to. A what's the word— _hope_.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Give it to me straight, doc. Why're you wasting your time on chitchat, anyhow—

I cut my rhetorical question short, just in the nick of time to crouch outside the arc of a heavy swing from the top left.

A swing that slices clean both my Mount Pylons, and even as my sub-arms fall earthward, even before they hit the ground, 13 restarts his assault.

He must be determined as hell not to ease up—not until I'm out of commission.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Hey 04, you wouldn't happen to have a G-bomb by chance, would you?

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** A G-bomb, you say? Are we that desperate now?

 _'Just a few more hours, 07. Though at this rate, we might pull a win if you hold your own for the rest of the match.'_

 _*Clang_ —

Thrown off by Munakata-san's attempt at being a clown, 13 damn near knocks the weapon out of my sword-hand.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** To hell with it, then.

 _'You're up, whether you like it or not.'_

While it might seem as though I'm placing her in the hot seat, the truth is, I've known that Munakata-san has been in position for a short time now. I'd played along with her dragging it on (more likely than not so that she might get a kick out of seeing how long she can jostle me without pushback), though I myself had to set the location in turn.

It's not the perfect setting, and I don't know if it would be enough to reel 13 in, but. Here goes nothing—

. . .

. . .

. . .

That was—well executed.

If I do say so myself.

As was Munakata-san's reaction speed as anticipated.

I hadn't been able to find timber, or maybe a boulder, or anything of size for that matter, that might convincingly make it look like I'd lost my footing, so it honestly worried me for a second that 13 wouldn't take the bait as soon as I faked a moment of vulnerability.

I had apparently worried over fuck-all.

Our enemy surface pilot, Valkyrie-13, truly could not see anything but what's directly in front of him.

As skillful with the _Senjutsuki_ as he is impulsive.

Driven by instinct, emotion—only to lose sight of all else.

No different from Narumi and Taira-san.

The memory of them in this hive is enough to make the back of my neck itch—

Wait a damn second.

He's—

13 is...

After all that from Munakata-san.

 _How is he still standing?_

 **(Valkyrie-13)  
** I've asked myself the same about you over a hundred times.

 _Fight me fair and square... or stay the fuck down,_ to me roars his _Senjutsuki_.

 _Are?_

I must've whispered out loud in the open, not that I'd ever meant to. Yet I must've, to deserve a rather lukewarm reply from 13.

He sounds tense though, for a nice change. Are we getting into his head? He must've spat that out unconsciously as well.

 _Khh._

Nee-chan, I'm still not seeing what you see in him...

Sure, he's a one-of-a-kind pilot, the likes unlike any other Eishi before or since.

Though that hardly changes the fact that, once he stands up from the wing seat, steps out of his plug suit and back into the real world, the _other_ 13 (his alter-ego, or lack of an ego, at that) would resurface, spirit still in tatters for whatever god-forsaken reason.

A broken body heals in time—the same can't be said about a broken spirit, however...

Onee-chan, have you so soon forgotten Nagamichi-san, and how Operation Lucifer had shattered his ego...?

Though he not once shared the truth with anybody.

Not even with us, after all our years alongside each other as Dellingrs—we had meant nothing to him in the end.

You... hadn't been able to save him... from taking his own life...

Nee-chan might be considering this a second chance, trying to redeem herself—by pushing her weight on 13.

 _What's this about my weight? You calling me fat?! You're heavier, last I checked!_

I never said! _The hell gave you that idea?!_

And scram!

Although, even if the spirit were to miraculously find a path to redemption, that spirit, I daresay wouldn't be one and the same.

People—don't change. We just—don't.

 _We—don't?_

We don't.

However.

To change is to grow, and to outgrow ourselves, it wouldn't be hyperbole to say that the only way is to _kill the person you are now_.

To lose your old self completely—you must be broken down.

To the base of your very core.

The heart of your very being.

Only then could you give birth to a new, changed you.

So long as you come back.

So long as you—come back.

And.

Survive.

 _Sur—vive..._

Say—don't baby birds have to crack their way out of their eggshells, collapse their world as they know it, to be born into our world? As do butterflies—to hatch from their cocoons?

All by themselves.

The amount of courage, not to mention willpower, that must need—to venture into the vast unknown.

All to grow—to rise and fly.

To find their spirit anew.

 _To—break free._

 _What're you saying, Ryuu-nii?! Kill him?! Must Keru-niichan kick the bucket to find redemption?!_

I don't know, _bakaniki_. Stop taking me word for word.

Read between the lines sometimes.

Maybe he might, but know that the only reason I'm playing along is because _you_ said he might change our lives.

You and your motormouth... Why do you always have to stick your nose in everyone's business?

I couldn't care less if I'd never end up getting along with him, and him with me. If what your intuition tells you unfolds to be _remotely_ true.

If 13 could somehow.

Some way.

Find a means to turn fate—

If it means—protecting you.

I'd do.

I'd give up.

Any—thing.

Like pick a fight I've no chance of winning, for instance, armed with nothing but trust in Onee-chan's conviction.

Because while I personally expect all this will amount to nothing. That this will downright end in one form of failure or another.

It's still worth trying.

There's still some worth in the act of trying.

In taking a shot—however dark it may be.

The worst that could happen—is that I'd miss.

But I already know I'd miss, so I might as well take the shot.

Who'd care if I do miss? What's there to lose if I miss?

Everything... that's all...

Just—everything...

 _Snap out of it._

 _*Ping._

Ow—right.

If anything else, winning this virtual simulation has never been the aim.

Growing—is.

And.

This is just the way I see it, so take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt.

 _13 has to break himself free from whatever it is that's weighing him down—and what better way than by yanking him to the brink of his breaking point?_

Either he rises above his limit, or falls short of it.

And the truth is, I need him to rise above.

Which might be a good thing for him in the first place. My reasons on the other hand are a bit more self-serving.

And more plain, and more simple.

And.

And above all—a matter of life or death.

It's for Onee-chan's sake.

For what little time I sense she has left.

Though I've yet to mention anything to her.

Of these foreboding dreams that replay over and over in my sleep.

Of rich blue waters that stretch as far as the eye can see.

The salty ocean breeze, air so humid I can taste it in my nostrils.

The rushing sound of crashing waves—

From here on do my dreams transform into haunting nightmares.

For monsters by the thousands then break the surface and emerge from the raging seas.

They trample Onee-chan, along with other faceless soldiers, decimating all that dare move.

Their blood then gathers like the rising tide, soaks everything from shore to shore, drowning everything in plain sight.

And in the blood-drenched ocean floor I hear a song—a soundless melody steeped in Onee-chan's voice, echoing in a falling crescendo.

Hers.

One among the many voices lost at sea.

These—dreams, that are not mere dreams...

I've shared with her many, many life stories. Stories of both people we know and don't.

But I've not once told this specific story to my twin...

Her story is the one lone story I'll be taking to my grave.

She's better off not knowing her own personal fairy tale.

At the risk of straying for a bit—

Ever since I can remember, I've had—visions, similar—all throughout my life.

 _Mama, papa._

I remember being taken under Aniki's wing, being placed under a microscope ever since I'd revealed the details of these mysterious mental imageries to Kouzuki-hakase when we were first transferred.

How she knew about me—beats me.

For a groundbreaking experiment of hers, or something to that effect.

Those early days felt more like a criminal interrogation now that I recall it.

She once mumbled rapidly to herself back then (she does that quite often) about _something something_ _quantum causality_ , though her entire spiel went way over my head as a kid.

In return for my cooperation, she had given me and Onee-chan a place to call—home.

 _Taira Shinji-san._

 _Narumi Takayuki-san._

 _Dellingrs._

 _Squadron 8._

All I know is that—without fail, one after another, it all falls into place just like I would picture in my head.

There was a while in the past when I wasn't alone, believe it or not. There had been others—exactly like me, within the Special Task Force.

Some were better at controlling their, _uh_ , talent. Kind, even, enough to help me out with mine. Though none of us had ever learned how to suppress it any.

Yet they left.

Culled for no reason other than the sands of time had run dry.

No one at present remains who has a clue.

No one but the Professor, her sister the Doctor, Yashiro Kasumi, and Aniki. And I guess I should mention Onee-chan, though that should be a given. _'Don't forget me!'_ I bet she just yammered.

Everyone else looks at me funny when I even begin to try to describe these sensations.

 _The A-01 Regiment._

 _Squadron 207A._

Quantum Causality, huh.

I've since developed a vague, elementary understanding of the concept, all thanks to Motoko-sensei's mentorship. Not that the knowledge has done me any good.

It's more like _false_ sense of knowing, you know.

A surefire way to lower your guard.

I _knew_ , yet I could not _alter_ , the fate that had befallen my family, friends, and even enemies. And not long from now—it'd be Onee-chan's turn to go...

What good is knowing if nothing I do could alter the outcome?

All it has done is made me lose them twice, and over and over again with every episode that flashes before me. As if suffering through it once isn't painful enough as it is.

I mean, I do glimpse other moments as well. A number of other moments, as a matter of fact.

Or would it be more appropriate to call these moments quantum causalities instead?

Some glad, some sad.

Some embarrassingly painful moments, some moments painfully embarrassing.

None however leave a mark as black as death, thus are the final moments heaps more impressionable than all the rest.

(Off the side—I wonder if 13's training squad are any aware of the gifts they might have. I've noticed that most, if not all, in the Regiment seem to have it to some degree.)

I'd hate to break it to the Professor—that there is one big gaping loophole in her designs. In how quantum causality has so far proven to be hopelessly immutable.

Like how I had absolutely no way of avoiding the Type-65 PB Knife that 13 tossed at my foot though I'd seen it beforehand.

The future—is predestined.

So I've learned... yet never admitted to Kouzuki-hakase... for fear that she might lose interest and find no further use in sparing Onee-chan's life...

But the naked truth is that.

It isn't enough that we could briefly sneak peeks into several different versions of the parallel outcomes.

I feel as though I've tried out every possible action in a million different lifetimes, only to arrive at the exact same ending a million times and one.

And... they haven't even been just bad end endings...

Rather... plain dead ends.

Our future—is locked in.

Fuck cause and effect.

The effect is predetermined.

And no amount of cause could affect the effect.

However which way I interpret and study the causalities—the resulting effects remain unchanged as certain as the devastation after a BETA invasion.

All roads lead to one end.

What the Professor needs is to find—a _key_ —to unlock the offshoot routes, to reach alternative endings.

 _Don't you question Kouzuki-hakase, Ryuu-nii! I'm sure she's already calculated for that loophole._

 _. . ._

Not again...

I've told you to get lost, Hakase-worshipping _bakaniki_...

You're derailing my concentration, and heaven knows I need it all to keep 13 at bay.

And who or what's supposed to fill the loophole anyhow?

He—13?

He's the key?

Don't make me laugh...

I almost feel like shit for the lab rat the Professor ultimately Frankensteins, though even Frankenstein's monster never had to endure this level of responsibility.

I say 'almost' because there's a chance it might be me.

(Did I nail it? While I don't know how the experiment would go exactly—the mad scientist Dr. Frankenstein is the closest image I've imagined the Professor to be.)

This burden of knowing.

This _curse_ of wisdom.

Is much too heavy for a human heart alone to bear... And the resultant creation is supposed to endure this how many folds more?

All I could think of is how maddening that would be.

Know what—I'd bet all my worldly belongings that the first thing they'd lose is their sanity.

 _Niigata—_

Niigata.

I'd almost left out Niigata.

That's the extent of what I could perceive.

The end of the line, for some reason.

Where all the dreams come to a halt.

Though I'm not entirely confident how that should be interpreted. It drives even the know-it-all scientist at a loss for words, for once.

Well, I do have an inkling that I'd rather leave buried in the sand.

Not that it holds any significance, anyhow.

What does to me is Onee-chan.

To say it outright: my sister—doesn't deserve that ill-boding vision.

She deserves to live.

Even if quantum causality says otherwise.

To hell with predestination and predetermination.

I can't reverse fate, but.

But!

Though I can't, I might be able to find someone else who can.

And if no human alive on Earth can, I'll take it a notch further, raise hell and—and I'll make a lifelong nemesis out of this fucked up world we live in.

There's no erasing all the dirt I've done to reach this far.

I've spilled far too much blood with these hands to turn back now.

I promised them.

I—swore... to them...

What I would murder for that dream to be just that—nothing but a simple dream... A byproduct of my overactive imagination...

That's a risk I can't afford to take, however.

Enough of this dreadful talent I somehow inherited.

If Onee-chan wholeheartedly believes 13 could change our lives, alter these dreams, I'd take those odds, no matter how slim, and throw my bets in alongside hers.

Although...

I had naively believed it'd be so straightforward, but turns out I'm not up to the task.

It doesn't shame me to confess that the plan had been kiboshed from the get-go, the instant the Professor decided to butt in and shuffle the rosters.

How'd she find out about this practice session anyhow?

Not to mention I had slightly miscalculated, I mean vastly underestimated, 13's handle of the _Senjutsuki_ , even after taking into account how well we've all progressed with the XM3.

We're still outclassed.

Heavily outmatched.

Since it has come undone, I suppose I could share how I had hoped this battle would've gone down. I can gloss over the part where Aniki had flopped his role, so I wouldn't even mention that he did too flop.

Talk about a letdown, Aniki—

 _*Crackle._

 _Guh,_ karma bit me back almost instantly.

Actually, forget karma; a burning branch fell off a tree and knocked me back to reality.

It's my turn to be a letdown.

Much as I hate to snip this thread partway, the fight is still, kinda ongoing, you know?

Fuck it—this thread is getting snipped either way, so.

I had hoped to help offer 13 a fighting chance— _errr_ , I mean a chance to fight.

I mean, there's no question that he could fight.

God no—there's _no_ question that he _could_ fight.

But _will_ he fight.

Whatever it is he's fighting for.

Whatever it is he stands for.

When the moment of truth comes knocking at his door, would he fight for what he stands for?

Maybe he doesn't stand for anything in the first place.

Maybe he has yet to find something worth fighting for.

Or maybe it's as simple as realizing.

Remembering.

All he might need is his moment.

It is blatantly apparent from Onee-chan and my eyes' that, as it was with the late Nagamichi-san, 13's worst enemy right now is—

His own self.

And like I'd told Onee-chan: 13 can't help her, to say nothing of anyone at all, if 13 can't help himself.

Nothing too sinister was in mind.

Just a good ol' fashioned beatdown was in order, and Aniki was supposed to slowly slaughter his allies one by one in front of his eyes.

Nothing kindles the human spirit like the flames of combat.

Even dying embers can come back to life if you stoke the firepit well enough.

Characters of myths and legends have been known to be born out of a moment of truth, yeah?

That's precisely what I'd hoped to simulate—13's very own moment of truth.

How's that for an opportunity for growth.

Let's see him break free out of that one.

Cut me some slack, everything in this simulation is artificial anyhow.

And it's backfired miserably on us anyhow, so no foul done.

Too medieval?

Nah.

I'm 17. Were you expecting something more elaborate?

 _Why're you lying again, Ryuu-nii...?_

Lying? How could you tell?

 _You scratch your neck every time you lie..._

It's almost like you're implying I've yet another buried purpose; that I'm actually trying to help 13 out.

Don't get me started...

Tell you what though, Onee-chan.

Having gotten this off my chest, you must know that he'd have his own reasons for fighting in this alien war. I honestly doubt this passing encounter of ours would be his first concern, if we are any concern at all.

Still.

Still, though—intuition aside, how _exactly_ might he change our lives again?

It's—fuzzy as hell, but I'd said it before and I'll say it again: his lot is yet as dark as the day we first met him. And I'd never before seen someone I couldn't perceive.

Whatever it is the damn Professor is using me for—doesn't work for squat on 13.

Faint, perhaps, but non-existent? It shouldn't even be possible.

To borrow their words—Yashiro Kasumi's, and Kouzuki-hakase's, I mean.

He's got bad news written all over him. If you ask me.

Besides, let's be real.

We're mere passers-by. Probably roadblocks, far as he's concerned.

Even so... Onee-chan... in the off-chance your intuition were amiss this one time...

Even without your new friend...

Even if he might not in the end unravel to be whom you want him to be...

Even if he'd turn his back on you just as the rest of the world had.

That'd never change the fact.

That I'd still have your back.

That I'd still come sprinting.

Just like you've sang, even though you've done so in jest.

You know me all too well...

At the first sign of trouble.

No matter what.

 _No. Matter. What._

With all my being—

I'd come sprinting.

The second fate dares spirit you away—

* * *

 ** _(Valkyrie-07)  
—!_**

* * *

Nee-chan?

Onee...chan.

She's.

. . .

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** _Oi, Ryuu. Where're you off to now?_

 _No._

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** _Change of plans? Hey now. Take it easy, slow down and talk to me, will you._

I.

I—do realize that Munakata-san is trying to tell me something. Though for some reason, I can't honestly comprehend most of her words. They're coming off as nothing but garbled gibberish. Or radio interference.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** H–hold your position, 04.

 _'Don't step out of line, else he might get us both. We'll come up with another plan of attack and—'_

And then what, exactly?

He has foiled one plan after another.

We're being backed into a tight fucking corner.

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** Do you copy that.

. . .

 **(Valkyrie-07)  
** 04, do you copy.

. . .

Why—isn't she responding.

Is my piece of shit radio busted?

Is _her_ piece of shit radio busted—

 _Ah,_ there she is.

Or so should've gone my short-lived relief.

For a voice did come over the comms line following my call, but it's not that of Munakata-san's. It is instead of First Lt. Suzumiya's; none other than Valkyrie-Mum herself.

Which could only mean—one thing.

 **(Valkyrie-Mum)  
** Valkyrie-04's power core has been destroyed, she has therefore been eliminated.

 _'God...damn...'_ I drive my foot deeper into the accelerator.

It's all my fault I hadn't answered her before time ran out.

Time.

Timing has—always been.

My bane...

As though the hand that's writing my life story has forever decreed that I'd never make it in time when it counts.

 _Tch._

As I'd zoomed past the woods approaching mach speed, some trees still lit on fire, every single one of them nothing but blurs of crimson and evergreen, there'd been but one picture I could form in my mind.

Nothing else but that.

 _Onee-chan's in danger._

 **(Valkyrie-04)  
** _Sigh~. I'm not holding a grudge or anything, Ryuu, buuut—your sister's on the other team. You know, in case you've forgotten._

 **(Valkyrie-Mum)  
** _Shush, Munakata-chui. The dead aren't supposed to talk. I'm cutting your radio out._

For the life of me, I still can't hear whatever's being said across the intercom.

 _After all I've mocked 13 for being._

 _Go ahead and say it—I'm nothing but._

 _A hypocrite._

 _One that would give up_ _—_ _everything._

 _Everything._

 _For what I stand for._

* * *

Author's Note:

I've been told by some readers that some chapters tend to be missed/overlooked when multiple chapters are posted within the same day, so I will from here on be placing a short delay instead of past simultaneous releases to provide a window for readers to catch up with each chapter.

Stay tuned for Chapter 36 on Sunday, April 28th!


	36. Breaking Point VI

_Reminder for desktop/windowed readers:_ _re-adjust your **paragraph width** to **1/2**. Its symbol is of four horizontal bars located directly below the story synopsis, in between the settings for font and line spacing._

 **Radio names:  
** Valkyrie-01 Isumi Michiru  
Valkyrie-02 Ichimonji Takahashi  
Valkyrie-03 Hayase Mitsuki  
Valkyrie-04 Munakata Misae  
Valkyrie-06 Fukui Kukiko  
Valkyrie-07 Fukui Ryuuseiu  
Valkyrie-09 Kashiwagi Haruko  
Valkyrie-13 Shirogane Takeru

* * *

 **Chapter 36 – Breaking Point VI**

* * *

 **Storm Vanguard One**

* * *

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
** 03, now!

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** Right!

On the captain's mark, I shifted all my weight unto my shield for one mighty heave against the enemy Shiranui.

Michiru at the very same instant would've disengaged Lt. Takahashi from the low ground, meanwhile Kukiko would have taken advantage of his TSF losing its balance and ideally finished him off in one fell swoop.

This would've been the sequence of events had the tides been in our favour.

Which—it hadn't.

Before I continue narrating how it had instead taken place, there's something about Lt. Ichimonji Takahashi that deserves mention.

No, I'm not scrambling for an excuse for why I've yet to catch up to him.

There's little need for me, Storm Vanguard One, Strike Force Ace that I am, to stoop so low.

If it isn't from me, you'd hear it from someone else eventually, so.

So—I'd better beat everyone to the punch.

I mean, _hrmm_ —best hear it from yours truly.

Here goes.

Just between us, what I'm about to spill is popular hearsay from our mechanics team—

 _They all absolutely hate Takahashi-chui._

I mean, they despise him with a vengeance.

And I might _still_ be downplaying how notorious the LT is among their group.

Apparently, every time Takahashi-chui returns his TSF to the hangar (be it from missions or plain practice sessions), his mech is guaranteed to be a flaming wreck.

Junkyard vehicles have been rumoured to be found in better condition.

Their troubles are not, however, unfounded. There is a good reason for the lieutenant's infamy.

Takahashi-chui's reputation stretches as far back as his roots in the Imperial Royal Guard, and there's always been an aura of esteem about him that carried over to his tour in our Special Task Force.

Even the late A-01 colonel, Col. Teiichi, was often known to seek his counsel in missions of urgency.

Without dispute, Ichimonji Takahashi has no equal when it comes to the mastery of a Tactical Surface Fighter.

Disregard the piloting skill and combat doctrine mastery for a moment—the newcomer Shirogane Takeru is in the running for that crown.

Alongside moi, naturally.

This isn't a matter of brute force or raw instincts, might I add. In terms of brainpower—when it comes to sheer familiarity with every sheet of metal, every strand of wire, every nut and bolt in the TSF anatomy.

Sorry, Shirogane.

Takahashi-chui is leagues ahead in this department. Not even I am near the same depth.

I've yet to witness anyone else exploit these bipedal machines as extensively as him.

 _Exploit_ isn't even the right description—more like _abuse_ , really.

Even saying that he 'becomes one' with his TSF would be but a half-truth. His is a mindset not limited to the fighting styles meager humans are capable of.

To illustrate, off the top of my head.

It is second nature to Eishis that Tactical Surface Fighters can move, bend and turn similar to humans, though their range of motion far exceeds ours. Joint areas, concretely, are much more flexible than their human counterparts.

Think in terms of a contortionist. Easily capable of 360 degree spherical rotation.

Anyone could, for example, snap their TSF's arm in a straight line behind them without pulling a shoulder muscle. Useful for firing at targets to the rear if one would rather sustain their current position.

The rotational mobility extends to the elbows, knees and waist. Twisting the body only from the waist up is a scene straight out of a horror film, but for a TSF—perfectly commonplace operation.

One could even endlessly spin the wrists like a helicopter rotor!

There are other elements that would take more pages to touch on, and I had never claimed to be the authority on the topic so I'd rather play this safe and not spread misinformation, though this should be plenty enough to get my case across—

That Takahashi-chui abuses this and more in a TSF, everything short of breaching the hard-coded safety operational limits (these bypasses require higher permissions in addition to a passkey and an emergency-like pushbutton).

Forget second nature, he has that as well as a sixth and seventh sense! And—to make matters worse, he uses a swordstyle of an ancient noble house to boot!

Witnessing him in the climax of combat is—something else.

Not so much when you're on the receiving end of it, but that's beside the point.

I wonder what it must be like to be in his seat.

To achieve maximum efficiency.

Near zero wasted movements—each action he takes is deliberate and with purpose. Like a perfectly conducted orchestra, he maintains instantaneous control over the entirety of his surface fighter.

From head to toe, the second he takes over, he turns every single gear in perpetual motion. I mean to say, they'd never stop turning until mission completion.

And picture this in extra-fast-forward speeds!

I don't even feel the least bit of guilt that he effortlessly thwarted the three of us as we attempted our counter-assault.

Setting that aside—all this is why there is little love for him in the repairs division, and it's no fault of theirs.

The herculean strain he places on these machines is mind-numbing.

Not to mention there's no such thing as holding back in the world of Takahashi-chui. His earnest sense of obligation simply would not allow him to give any less than a hundred percent.

It would not allow him rest until his task meets its end.

In fact—there's no pulling him 'out' once he's 'in' it.

Once he's in the zone, in full Eishi mode, you won't 'see' Ichimonji Takahashi again. Not until he either fulfills his duty or dies trying.

Virtually each and every TSF he brings home has to be overhauled!

I've a poor grasp on currency because I've never had to need it, but that must surely cost thousands of yens! Think of all the meal tickets that could've gotten me! I might have even finally gotten to taste gourmet food!

 _Er-hrmm._

In any case.

Have I spent too many words on Lt. Takahashi?

I haven't really been paying any attention to the clock.

He is, after all, the Eishi I've always aspired to surpass. And I'm not alone in this opinion—he has been a role model to many before me.

Mark my words: I will someday steal the handle of Valkyrie-02!

Right now however.

Back to the present.

Or a smidge before the present.

As I was saying.

As I was bracing myself for my mighty Spartan shove, Valkyrie-02 must've sensed the change in the atmosphere's vibration, for in the comma between Michiru saying '03' and 'now!'—

Not a breath after I'd laid a finger on my toggle—

He bounced off of Capt. Michiru's shield (what is she, a trampoline?).

Hurled his leg at collar height and roundhouse kicked _my_ shield.

And finally, one sword still locked against both of Kukiko's, he unwound the other and hammered at her, forcing her a foot back.

And I had hardly finished that same breath.

Inhumanly swift for us to anticipate, though not for Valkyrie-06.

Sure, she was last to be attacked so she had a wider time frame to work with. Even so, to her credit, Kukiko reacted and defended herself in kind. As though she had prepared knowing that would happen all along.

It was I who had been knocked off my center instead, and Michiru bustled to reclaim a foothold, all the while Kukiko wasted little time and went to town on Takahashi-chui, and the two hacked and stabbed at each other as though tomorrow didn't exist.

I didn't realize it then, but being momentarily rocked by my shield's own weight was actually the best I could've hoped for. It had given me the space to draw out my PB Blades, so, making the best out of a bad situation—

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** Captain!

I tossed my Type-92 Supplemental Armour at Michiru and bolted at the enemy, who unsympathetically had his hands full with Valkyrie-06.

This might be a poor choice of time for this remark; still, all I was doing was jetting forward, so I'll spare the while to rant— _errr,_ admit—the following.

That although I've yet to bring myself to come to terms with Takayuki's former squadmates, I must however confess that I do on occasion feel envious that she and her twin brother had been trained by the ex-Colonel of the IRG. That they'd long witnessed firsthand his piloting prowess.

And that, for better or for worse, as allies on the battlefield, they're a force to be reckoned with.

Full stop.

That's as many words as I could afford to spend on the subject.

Excuse my rant.

So anyway, en route to the enemy Shiranui, I had to make a few pauses on the way, due to him somehow finding the temporary, narrow windows in between slashing at Valkyrie-06 to fling his arsenal of PB Knives in my direction.

However—he hadn't simply launched the daggers in my _approximate_ vicinity, otherwise I'd have shirked them without giving them so much as a second glance.

They all came at my TSF with pinpoint accuracy; so frighteningly accurate that I judged I hadn't the time to entirely avoid them and had to resort to batting them aside as best as I could with my halberds.

I suspect that had I left any one of those daggers to run its course and dent me, I'd have been out of the game then and there.

My TSF made it to his intact, at any rate.

If the two on one handicap had fazed him any, he had done a spectacular job at keeping it from showing. Though I'm more inclined to presume that whether there had been two or twenty foes wouldn't have made a difference to Lt. Takahashi.

With all our might, with all we had, we 'tangoed' with the LT (okay, I borrowed Kukiko's words there).

In the hierarchy of the Valkyries circle, I have the upper hand over Fukui Kukiko when looked at from the grand scheme. Although, a side by side analogy would be somewhat akin to comparing mangoes to pears.

I'll give it a whirl anyway, otherwise it'd be easy to fall off-track.

If this were a dance (though when I really think about it, combat is in its own way a dance—a dance between swords), the two of us have entirely different rhythms.

I, and overall the majority of Eishi initiates, have an even two/four beat. She on the other hand has an odd time signature, let's say five/four.

And while the braindead BETA can't tell the two apart—hold up, even humans might not be able to tell one from the other. Not until you're right next to her, front and center, that is.

Put as simple as I can in broad context, for every two actions I take, Valkyrie-06 performs five in the same span of time.

It'd be ugly, wouldn't it. Watching a foxtrot between off-step partners.

I don't feel sorry for Takahashi-chui right now, having his tempo disrupted by my Strike Vanguard.

Before the wrong idea pops up, this isn't an issue of speed. You could arrive at the same finish line whether you take five steps or two.

I don't have to answer her every blow with an equal blow, for instance. Raising my shield, if angled just right, could counter five of her moves, even ten.

I'd like to think that it's also because I place a lot more thought into my decisions before making my move, much unlike her, who relies heavily on her primal intuitions.

Whatever the case, what's worth attention is that it upsets our inner biorhythms.

Like how they say an inch of difference in one step in a flight of stairs would trip up most people.

It brings about an unnatural feeling that throws us off our game, and in a contest where every little advantage counts, could either make or break the outcome.

Let loose, she's our very own glass cannon.

But it's not that she's reckless. She has the least risk tolerance that I'd ever witnessed.

She's not overconfident.

She's just too—trusting.

That she's the way she is, that she trusts me as much as she does after her brother left my Takayuki for dead, leaves me rather conflicted, to tell the truth.

I've had to set such emotions aside, however.

Foremost, as a soldier.

As a Valkyrie of the Special Task Force—I've to swallow my pride.

At least, only for as long as we wear the UN uniforms.

I don't have to pretend to get along with them in my pedestrian attire.

Setting myself aside—I suppose in her defense, Ryuuseiu would under normal circumstances have her six (and as much as I hate to admit, her brother is one of our more reliable rearguards, with a frustrating unheard-of spatial awareness that rivals even Lt. Takahashi's), allowing her more freedom to go wild on her offense without worrying about her cover.

Though at the moment he's on the opposing team, making my case rather moot. Not that she's shown any hint of slowing down or holding anything back—I can't cover you as well as him, that stupid girl.

Whatever.

That's a little bit of background as to what Fukui Kukiko is like as an Eishi, in any case.

There hadn't been much else to talk about anyway.

We were still all this while swinging our PB Blades at Lt. Takahashi.

Just imagine whatever fight scene you want in the meantime. Whatever it is you imagined—it's extremely likely that it played out that way.

I must say, despite my depiction of Kukiko, Takahashi-chui had yet to make a single mistake. Not a single gear of his had lost its momentum even with two of us versus one of him.

Maybe I'd spoken for myself when I'd said she throws me off my groove. Though it's to be expected, I will submit. He's likely gotten accustomed to her off-tempo cadence, what with them being Dellingrs along with Takayuki and Shinji...

My efforts, on the other hand, had been a bit more conventional. That is to say, I attacked, got attacked, countered, got countered, retaliated—you get the picture.

Don't for a second think it was a dull exchange, however. Our fight had simply happened at a rapid pace it'd take a full novel to narrate every minute detail. (Matter of fact, that's the very reason why I'm laying down my thoughts in the past tense. It would be mayhem were I to narrate everything as it goes along!)

As an example—nearing the end, Kukiko had surrounded his right flank and I his left. After deflecting us and giving some back a number of times (I lost count after three, though if you really want a number it would be something greater than eighty), I aimed my right sword at his arm and my left sword at his leg.

To my surprise, he didn't bother parrying me at all. He had withdrawn and tucked in both his left leg and arm closer to his core. As though he'd been holding up an invisible shield.

My weapons—actually connected.

I finally got a clean hit in.

How wrooong I was.

In the guarded position he was in, curled up as he was, he had purposefully made it so that my halberds would connect with the most durable segments of his TSF. Where reinforced metal was at its toughest.

So, my attempt at slicing him in half.

At the angle I drew my swords at, at the height I had them raised to.

It had dug no deeper than an inch into his arm and leg, scarcely leaving a mark.

After which he flicked the PB Blade on his wrist, and the cuff promptly spun clockwise like a helicopter rotor and—

Lopped off my left arm, crippling me from the elbow below.

I had fortunately retreated and jump-boosted back in time, which was all I could do to avoid his halberd from further reaching my chest, shutting me down for good in this simulated world.

Some other battle had been waged at the same time on Kukiko's front, though I'd only caught the tail end of it, when one of her halberds went flying out of bounds.

She likewise retreated at the last second.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Oi Aniki. You might wanna help out your teammates, you know? If they're still alive, that is—

I then made a mad dash at Valkyrie-02.

I wasn't hoping he'd be the least distracted by Kukiko's prattling (something she'd been doing all match long). Nothing in existence could break his concentration, nothing but accomplishing his mission.

If he had his own chapter right about now, it'd be roughly a thousand pages. All filled to the brim with countless foreign, alien symbols and equations (but not the type the BETA could understand).

His battle mode is beyond comprehension...

Myself—as I rushed at him, I set my sights on: his power core.

A venture easier said than done.

The only way to get to it from a frontal attack (there's no way I could get him from behind) is to sink my PB Blade through his Shiranui dead-center.

With one arm remaining, it's not as though I'd been crippled to uselessness. Even if I had lost both arms, I'd still have feet.

Anything and everything in a TSF can be made into a weapon. Thus, so long as a TSF was still online, death is the only allowable excuse for a pilot to quit piloting.

Seeing me advance at him, he charged in my direction in response.

I—

I blundered, here.

It should be mentioned that by now Capt. Michiru and Kukiko had dashed at Takahashi-chui as well. Michiru, having finally regained her ability to move (as it turns out, the lieutenant had done more than just pounced off her shield. He had done so in such a way that the sudden and immense pressure had incapacitated all her joints, so her hydraulic systems had needed time to cool off and recover), called for a joint-effort unified attack.

We were to pincer him in from three sides.

Not to be a copycat, but in the same manner that Valkyrie-02 had gotten the better of me, as I jetted at him and watched him jet at me, I tried to weigh in my head a method to receive whatever attack he might dish out with the least amount of damage.

I'd turn the tables on him, I naively fooled myself thinking.

Kukiko, Valkyrie-06, was farthest away, having taken off from Lt. Takahashi's far side.

As it stood, he, the captain and I would've made first contact, altogether approaching each other in a receding Y formation.

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
** 03, don't!

How the captain had come to realize what I was thinking, I could not tell.

Aiming my lone sword-arm at his power source (or anything vital that I could get my hands on, at this point), I stole a quick glance at the trajectory of Takashui-chui's halberds.

It was as though time had frozen then.

As though I could see and analyze the whole scene in still.

I could see my PB Blade inches from my mark.

I could see Valkyrie-02's halberds.

One pointed beneath my neck, the other at my lower torso.

I could easily dodge the blow to the neck with a sharp detour. While the blow to my hip—

I could swerve this way and.

I could take this hit.

I could take the hit and walk away with it.

Then I'll drive this halberd through him.

I only need to time this— _perfectly_.

However.

Milliseconds before impact, Capt. Michiru suddenly shouldered me out of the way. Right before I was blown out of Lt. Takahashi's line of fire, I noticed that he had already repositioned the tip of his weapons, now pointed at the captain.

He stabbed Michiru where I couldn't see and—by the time I finished a full blink, he had drawn it back.

A swift in and out execution.

Valkyrie-01 landed, upright, in one piece.

Still on its feet—however defective and dysfunctional it had now become.

* * *

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
** You walked right into that one, Hayase.

Sighed Michiru.

Her transmission line hadn't been disconnected just yet. I crossed my fingers Haruka wouldn't notice.

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
** You should've known better than to take a direct hit from Valkyrie-02.

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** _Heh_ —

I laughed a weak laugh.

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** I wasn't thinking straight.

 **(Valkyrie-01)  
** Clearly, your frenzy got the better of you—* _click._

 _Oops._

I jinxed her.

That goody-two-shoes Haruka must've read my mind. Not that I'd admit that I was secretly relieved I'd gotten away from a scolding from Michiru.

I'd need reminding to apologize to Capt when I get the chance.

As Kukiko re-engaged the enemy, I in the meantime raced to recoup my footing.

Michiru was right, though—what was I trying to pull?

It might've seemed like I could take the hit—but.

But that's _precisely_ what Takahashi-chui had wanted me to believe.

And to really drive it home, the stationary remains of Michiru's Shiranui stood before me. A cold, towering monument now decorating this virtual forest.

In pristine condition still.

It seemed as though it might move any moment. That it's yet alive, and I'd have believed so had I not heard it wind down as it slowly drained out of power.

He _wanted_ me to dodge.

He _wanted_ me to swerve.

 _He made me maneuver the way I did._

He made me believe my own decisions had been my own, when in fact I'd all along been primed to dodge his thrust at my neck. He had me convinced that I could take and soften the hit to my lower hip.

But as Michiru had said.

Any direct hit, from a scratch to a cut, from Valkyrie-02 might as well be a killing blow.

He had near-instantaneously turned his sights toward Michiru the moment I'd gotten out of his range.

And.

With surgical precision.

He severed one of her central power cables.

In, out.

I had hardly seen his PB Blade move, lightning fast as it had been.

He threaded a needle as though it were an everyday humdrum task.

It's little mystery he has millions of confirmed BETA kills to his name.

That truly was—a masterstroke.

The sensation I had, with those PB Knives he flung at me a while back. I hadn't imagined it after all.

 _Had any one of those daggers found me, I would've been shut down on the spot._

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** Hang in there, 06!

Unvexed, feeling my equilibrium come back to me, I made my way once more to reenter the fray.

Grinning through my teeth, probably like a lunatic, I couldn't help but grin even wider.

My heart was pounding like mad—and.

I loved it.

I couldn't get enough of the intoxicating feeling.

There's a world to learn from taking on challenges much, much greater than myself.

Takahashi-chui, just you wait.

I will, without a doubt in my mind, one day unseat you.

* * *

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** Duck, 06!

Lt. Takahashi might be good, but I'm not too shabby myself, in case I'd given off the wrong impression.

Trudging the path toward Kukiko and the LT, I had made the conscious intention to stay clear of his line of sight—not by coming at him from his six, however.

On the contrary, I had led a full frontal assault.

I was still outside his field of vision, though—since I'd been purposefully pursuing them while remaining in Valkyrie-06's rear.

Hidden in the open.

Like how the sun hides behind the moon during a solar eclipse— _urk!_ What a poor simile! The sun is a whole lot larger than the moon so there's no way it's actually being hidden and—

I'm losing my chain of thought here.

Anyway.

Upon arriving, with momentum on my side, I swung my PB Blade at the back of Kukiko's skull, and once she ducked (she had ducked the same second I told her to. Honestly, she's too trusting), Takahashi-chui's head then popped up.

 _*Clang._

He deftly blocked me from the top.

And bounced to evade Kukiko's dig at his feet.

Mid-air, he pivoted sideways and, in that diagonal position he was in, drove down his halberd into me.

A slanted spinning top of death was hovering toward me.

My reflexes had by then already lifted my PB Blade skyward with both hands to defend myself.

The impact rocked my cabin, while my TSF keeled and was forced backward, hauling dirt along its feet.

But that wasn't the end of it just yet.

He hadn't even completed a full rotation.

His Shiranui resumed its spinning course, and his other sword got its turn at pummeling me. The second collision rocked me and shoved me further back as awfully as the first.

Valkyrie-02 landed, only to again pounce not a split second after. As his airborne Shiranui rotated as before, I fastened myself and my PB Blade for another round of impact.

My cabin shook even harder this time.

Damn these new and improved simulators! Do the haptics have an off-switch?! Turn mine off, Haruka!

I would've braced for a third go-around (though I was beginning to worry my PB Blade would snap at the rate things were going). However, the third round never saw the light of day.

I could tell he had considered going for it, but instead, still kneeling after having freshly landed, Takahashi-chui abruptly withdrew both swords to cover his back.

 _'Ptang!'_ went the air as metal screeched against metal.

Kukiko had tossed a PB Knife at the center of his back—at his power source—for which he had to swat with his halberd.

I'd been getting the same alarms Michiru earlier had. My hydraulic systems were approaching dangerous temperatures, so I considered myself lucky that Kukiko had interjected in time.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** You're trying to figure out if you could off Anego before I reach you, aren't you, Aniki?!

 _'Too slow! Your half-second is up!'_

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Let's dance!

Having lost her second sword, she had now armed her other hand with a PB Knife and blitzed at us. Takahashi-chui must've judged the same as Kukiko had taunted, for he then turned on her by way of a jet-boosted slide kick.

Valkyrie-06 rolled out of his way with ease, ending up right next to me.

Takahashi-chui in the meantime got back on his feet and reassumed his fighting stance.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** He's a stubborn one, this guy. No wonder Hakase couldn't put up with him.

Her head then turned toward me.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Waddaya think, Anego?

 _'I think we need to get a hold of Onii-chan,'_ she suggested.

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** We're on the same page on that one, but.

 _'We haven't heard from Shirogane in a while.'_

And stop calling him your big brother!

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Yeah... I'm sure he's killing it on his end though. But Ryuu-nii's still standing, too.

 _'Ackh—I'm confusing whom to root for!'_

 _That's_ what she'd been worrying about? I really don't get her at times.

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** Kukiko.

 _Huh_ —that was the first time I'd called her by name during an operation. I'm slipping on protocol.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** _Eh?_

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** I have a plan, but things might get ugly.

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** _Oh?_ Lay it on me, Anego!

This clueless girl... she makes hating her so difficult... If only you and your brother had brought my Takayuki back with you...

* * *

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** What else could go wrong? You've got one arm left and this longsword-shortsword feels weird to me.

 _'We've both been crippled, in a way,'_ she giggled after hearing me out.

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** _Haa?_ Crippled? How are you crippled?! You're hardly crippled!

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** _Hoh_ —really? Sure feels that way, if you ask me.

 _Tch._

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Oh, I know! Here, I'll trade my knife for your halberd—

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** How does that make our chances any better?!

She asked me to bring a knife to a swordfight!

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** Well, it'll help mine.

She frowned.

That was a losing argument I've yet to make sense of. I was getting nowhere, bickering with her.

 _'Let's go!'_

Valkyrie-06 and I together jet-boosted at the foe for yet another, last-ditch effort. We'd made no strides with the previous formula, despite having the numbers on our side, so it was high time to take a different approach.

To take down a freak like Lt. Takahashi, we'd need all we have left.

Drastic foes call for drastic measures.

Even if we might not make it, we ought to take him out of the equation and give Shirogane one less opponent to worry about.

Although—a three for one exchange could hardly be called helping Shirogane out.

Thus did I propose to Kukiko an arguably Hail Mary assault plan.

We had already attempted something similar, not that long ago. When we consented to act as shields for Shirogane, so that he might've reached striking distance of the enemy flight.

They'd seen through that, however.

Kukiko smirked in reply, _'We'll make it out of this in one piece, Anego.'_

 **(Valkyrie-03)  
** I only said 'might'.

 _'We 'might' not make it,'_ I stressed.

In fact, our chances aren't half-bad!

 **(Valkyrie-06)  
** With that attitude, we really might not!

Where does she get her optimism from...

We diverged in opposite directions and widened our distance, our trails almost forming a circular pattern, then re-converged on the enemy Shiranui.

Takahashi-chui remained in his position, stayed in his stance.

Ever observing, ever calculating.

Looming like the final boss in a TV show.

Except he didn't roar nor pound his chest in a show of might.

When we descended on him from both corners (we'd coordinated the timing so that Kukiko would engage him sooner than me)—I felt a little bit of pride swell, having surely caught him somewhat unawares for once. Instead of trading blows like we'd always done, Kukiko, having made first contact, immediately proceeded with the plan.

Her role was to keep him from using his weapons.

Not by occupying him by dancing yet again, but by literally keeping his weapons still. We would've ideally disarmed him—that'd be but a pipe dream, however. The more realistic option would be if Kukiko could somehow keep him in deadlock.

And that's what she did.

LT had naturally braced for another round of exchanges, but Kukiko managed to keep it to a minimum. After three touches of their halberds, Valkyrie-06 succeeded.

Her weapons, sword and dagger, had formed the shape of a mismatched X as they leaned against each other (sword in front, dagger behind). In the focal point of the X laid both of Takahashi-chui's PB Blades, bearing down on Kukiko in a straight, vertical line.

Their halberds altogether looked like one giant asterisk (*).

We'd finally caught our lucky break.

We'd robbed him of his weapons without having to disarm him.

Tightening my sword grip, I rushed at Valkyrie-02 from his six and, with a clean shot to his power box, jet-boosted at the final step. I had held my crippled elbow in front of me and furled my sword arm, winding my PB Blade for a full-forced thrust.

Now, if Kukiko could keep him pinned for 3 more seconds, we could do him in.

Now, _had_ Kukiko kept him pinned for 3 more seconds, we _would've_ done him in.

To correct myself—she did keep him pinned.

The demise that followed wasn't her doing.

Takahashi-chui, in the bat of an eye, had let go of his left-hand weapon.

He outright dropped it.

But no sooner than he'd dropped it—he grabbed hold of it once more. Though when he caught it, his grasp on his sword had switched.

In the half-second that passed as his PB Blade was dropped, Takahashi-chui had spun his wrist upside down. His thumb, formerly pointing skyward, now pointed at the earth.

He had reversed his grip.

The edge of his sword was now opposite the thumb.

Why does that matter?

Because.

Revolving his shoulder joint in a way humans can't normally do, in an arc 225 degrees from its starting point (damn near a full revolution), he caught _me_ off-guard. Though he was still facing Kukiko, his back might as well have been his front.

Lt. Takahashi had slashed his free sword all the way rearward and beyond.

I wasn't able to help but be in awe of his form and pose—his knees were slightly crouched, right foot ahead of his left, right arm and halberd still stretched to the fore in standstill with Kukiko, and finally, left arm stretched to the rear. As though it were pointing and telling me to look at something interesting at my right flank. As if I'd fall for something that lame—yeah, right.

The PB Blade in that hand had already been tucked in. Still gripped in reverse, Takahashi-chui leaned it up against his arm, fully parallel, though the tip now pointed in his direction instead of mine.

From an eagle's view, he must've been the image of a simple thunderbolt. A fancy Z or an N, depending on which vantage point the eagle looks from.

I hadn't the luxury to admire it for too long, however.

As swift and sudden as Valkyrie-02 slashed at me, he lifted and slammed his left foot forward, shoving Kukiko aback and rocking her center of gravity, putting an end to their deadlock. After which he returned his left arm to his front and had it raised at eye level, the edge of the PB Blade extending past that elbow.

By the way—why did it feel as though Kukiko and I were moving in slow-motion, and he in fast-forward?

I'll definitely be studying the control logs after this.

In any event.

Takahashi-chui planted his right PB Blade on top of his left arm to steady his sword, aimed at the off-balance TSF of Fukui Kukiko.

All but ready to deliver the killing blow.

I make it sound like there'd been a pause here. However—there was no hint of hesitation when LT plunged his halberd into Valkyrie-06.

Or rather, I again make it sound as though he did manage to stab right through Kukiko, but.

But—he might've been able to, had he not been interrupted by a third Shiranui that appeared out of thin air.

* * *

 _'What was I doing in the meantime?'_

Fair question.

Watching it all unfold, naturally.

After all, what was left of my TSF—namely, everything below the right shoulder to under my left wing—had been rendered lifeless, beyond function.

It wasn't fun—watching my upper half fall off. All the more since Takahashi-chui didn't so much as face in my direction, like a modern day super samurai.

Yeah.

I'd been relieved. Sliced in two, from the armpit of my crippled arm to the base of my neck.

Not before I got a say in it, however.

That's right—I got a hit in!

Although, _what_ I hit has been a heated point of contention, of which I've been arguing with that stubborn Haruka for a while now.

I swear I got Lt. Takahashi's power core.

I swear it!

But Haruka adamantly insists I got his jump unit instead.

That damn LT.

He must've maneuvered at the last second, manipulated and had me wrongly convinced, right 'til the end.

I don't like how I was finished, but.

Taking down his jump unit—isn't so bad, I guess.

I could somewhat be at ease knowing that I, Hayase Mitsuki, have pushed the one and only Ichimonji Takahashi far into a corner that—he was forced to settle for a compromise.


End file.
